(Author's note: Warnings for lots of well-intentioned emotional manipulation and Puck's crisis of faith. Quoting in the next four chapters from 2x02 Britney/Brittany, with many minor adjustments. It's fun to watch the episode and see all the overlap. -amy)

Episode 2x02: Britney/Brittany

For the past couple of years, Sarah had been going once a month to have dinner with her father. Her Ma would put her on the bus in Lima and she'd meet her dad at the bus station in Akron, and he'd let her pick the restaurant, and afterward she'd get back on the bus and come home. Noah had never gone with her, because he hadn't been speaking to his dad at that point, but Timmy did sometimes when he was in town. She could tell her dad was making an effort to be a dad, even if it wasn't much of one. That was about all she expected from him, so it didn't feel disappointing when he screwed up.

One time, her dad brought Jake with him. He didn't warn her in advance; he just showed up at the bus station with a sullen kid about her age and said, Hey, Sarah, this is your half-brother Jake. And Jake had just said, I don't care, and Sarah had laughed and told him he was like that boy Pierre from the Really Rosie musical. Jake had looked perplexed, but Sarah found the a staging of the Carole King production on YouTube and played it for him. He'd been fascinated by the performance. He'd told her that he was a dancer, but he'd never seen a live stage performance, not like that. She asked him if would like to, and he made a face and he said that stuff is for pussies. She shot back, what, you mean like our dad? He'd laughed hard, and after that, they were friends.

This would be the first time Sarah had seen Jake since she'd told Noah that their dad had another kid. She didn't see any reason not to just come clean about this. When Jake showed up at the bus station, she gave him a little wave and said, "Noah knows about you."

"Oh." Jake thought about this for two seconds and then shrugged. "Okay?"

"You want to meet him?"

"Does he want to meet me?"

She shrugged back. She'd only mentioned Jake that once to Noah, and it hadn't gone over very well. "He doesn't ask for things."

"Noah doesn't always know what he needs," her dad said. He nudged Jake with his knuckles. "But I'll tell you what… I have some plans for Noah. Once those are settled, I think you'll like him better. He'll be more the kind of man you need in your life. A real older brother. How's that sound?"

"Good?" said Jake.

Sarah thought this didn't sound so good. Whatever plans her dad had, for anything, they were bound to be outrageously stupid. On the other hand, she also knew he'd had plenty of plans that had never gone anywhere, so what he was saying didn't worry her all that much. She didn't much like the way he was judging Noah, though, or the way he was trying to get Jake on his side.

When her dad went to the bathroom, she faced Jake. "Noah has three boyfriends."

He scowled at her over his sandwich. "So?"

"I just wanted you to know. We live with two of them."

Jake gave her a look. "What are you trying to do? I'm not homophobic. He can have as many boyfriends as he wants." He ate a fry, then added, "You guys live with two of them?"

"Finn and Kurt's parents met because of them and they fell in love. When Ma died, Ta- Kurt's dad decided to adopt me and Noah, so we wouldn't not have a home. And you say homophobic things all the time."

"I do not!" Jake insisted. "Well… maybe when I was a kid, but I know better now. Toby's my teacher, right? And I've got gay friends. And - yeah. People can change."

That was true. She thought about how Finn told her about the way they used to treat Kurt, before, and the way Noah had thrown other kids in dumpsters even after. He didn't do that anymore. And the way her dad used to treat Timmy when he was a teenager. His dad didn't talk to any of his kids like that either.

"I think people have to make reparations for the sucky things they did before," she said. "Or else they can't really claim they've changed."

"Well, I'm sorry I ever called anybody a fag," he grumbled. Then he looked up from his food and stared in the direction of the bathroom. "Oh. You mean —?"

"Dad. He's doing something. I can't tell if it's reparations or if it's just… more awful stuff."

Jake nodded slowly. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see?"

Sarah hated waiting for anything, but she didn't exactly have an alternative. "I think we should talk more, you and me."

They exchanged cell numbers and email addresses. "I'm in Lima every two weeks," he said. "For, uh. My therapist lives there now." He looked a little embarrassed to be admitting this, but Sarah nodded.

"You could come over?" she said. "You could see the house I made."

"You didn't make a house," Jake said.

She grinned. "Oh, yeah. I really did."

"All right," said Ethan. He set down his copy of the New Testament book and looked around the circle of men sitting with him. "What did you learn from that reading in Ephesians about what Paul says about being a good husband?"

"It doesn't say much," Kyle pointed out. "All that old language, it doesn't seem like it applies much to us."

"I think the love they're talking about applies whether you're talking about friendships or marriages, though," said Andrew. "How to love the way God intended. Selfless, giving love, without expecting anything back. That's what we're supposed to be going for, right?"

Puck turned the book over on his knees. His dad put a hand on his shoulder. "What did you think, Noah?"

It was hard to concentrate on reading under the best of circumstances. In this basement church room, without Kurt there to help him focus, he hadn't gotten much out of the tiny little print in the book. But his dad was sitting there, watching him, and Puck didn't want him to think he didn't care, because he actually did.

"I guess I don't like all these guys trying to speak for God," he said. "If everybody says what they think, somebody's going to get it wrong, and then people who read it will be confused about how to be a good boyfriend. Husband." He shrugged. "I guess I can't really be that."

"Why not, Noah?" asked Ethan.

"Well, guys can't get married to other guys." He wasn't going to get into detail about how many guys were involved in the picture.

Ethan gave him a smile. It wasn't a mean smile, or even a you're-stupid smile, but it wasn't a I'm-listening smile either. "Noah, you're not gay."

"No, I know, I'm not. It's not about that."

He shook his head gently. "You're not the first boy to confuse the powerful love between two men with the love we feel for our wives. I'm here to let you know it's okay to make that mistake. Sin will separate you from God. But as you develop your understanding of God, you're going to start to realize what He really wants for you."

"That's what I tried to tell him," his dad said. "He's just confused."

"No, I'm not," said Puck. "How can what I'm feeling be a mistake?"

"Because it's not about feelings," Ethan said. His voice was placid and certain. It could have been irritating, but Puck found himself listening anyway. "It's about making a commitment, in your heart, to doing right by God. Following the commandments isn't always easy, but we do it because it's the right thing. To love this way, in service to others… it's the greatest fulfillment on earth."

Service to others. That, he could agree with. Puck nodded vigorously. "It really is."

"So hang onto that understanding as you move forward, Noah. Don't mistake sex for love."

He sat contemplating his relationships with Blaine and Kurt and Finn and Adam for the rest of the evening, while the rest of them talked about First Corinthians. In some ways, what he did was all about giving without expecting something in return, which was what Ethan was saying was important. But he did a lot of taking, too, didn't he? Finn and Kurt, they took care of him, and that didn't seem very much like what all those historical dudes did, or what Ethan said people expected Godly men to do. They did have a lot of wives, though, which made him feel a little better.

On the way out, Ethan came over to shake his dad's hand, and then his hand.

"You looked deep in thought there, Noah," he said. "Did you come to any conclusions?"

"I guess I'll keep looking for ways I can be a better man," he said. "I thought I was getting there."

"Your dad tells me you have a daughter?"

Puck smiled. "Yeah, her name's Beth. She's awesome."

Ethan nodded. "So, you might think about what kind of man you want to be for her. What does a father look like in the Bible? How can you use that to help you follow the path set down for you by God?"

Puck wasn't sure what that had to do with being a good boyfriend, but he said he'd think about it.

His dad gave him a little shoulder-hug as they walked out to their cars.

"I'm really glad you decided to come back to group with me," said his dad. "I think it's going to be good for you."

"Maybe," said Puck. "I'm giving it a shot, anyway?"

"That's all I can ask for." He paused beside his door, keys in his hand. "Hey, what would you think about going away for a weekend? Just me and you. The J4J folks are hosting an adventure camp out west somewhere. They say it's a blast. Hiking, orienteering, that sort of thing."

"I might be up for that." He almost added, I'll have to ask Mr. Hummel, but his dad looked so happy he didn't want to ruin the moment. "Sure, yeah."

"Great! I'll get it all set up. You have a safe drive home, now. I love you, son."

"Love you too, dad," he said stiffly. It wasn't easy to say, but with all this talking about the right kind of love, he felt like he should give his dad something, without taking away from him.

When Puck got into the Impala and checked his phone, there was a text from Adam.

Thinking of you on my way to the stage, it said. Are you being a good boy?

He swallowed the unexpected lump in his throat. "I'm trying," he whispered.

Carl stuck the Visitor sticker on his shirt and signed in at the front office. He reminded himself for the third time that he had every right to visit his girlfriend at work, just like every other couple he knew. He could certainly be professional about being there in the same building with Rachel and Finn at the same time. All the same, he checked the hallway carefully before proceeding down to Emma's office.

He could see her through the window, talking animatedly to a curly-haired man seated in front of her. Carl decided that had to be Will. Finn had already told him so much about his choir director that the dearth of information from Emma hadn't mattered.

"… he made me buy the green grapes and the red grapes at the market," she was telling the man, "and then we just mixed them together in a bowl and we just… ate them. It was madness. Sheer madness."

"Wow," said the man, with heavy sarcasm.

Carl tamped down a surge of protectiveness. Emma had been making great progress, and he was proud of her. He didn't like the idea of anybody belittling her accomplishments, especially because she'd been so brave about asking for what she needed.

"Laugh all you want," Emma said primly. When she realized he was standing in the door, she gave a little jump, her eyes wide.

"Hey, now," he said easily, closing the door behind himself. "Am I interrupting?"

"Carl, no." She quickly rearranged two things on her desk and took a calming breath. "Hi. What — what are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd surprise you and take you to lunch." He came over and gave her a quick kiss. "Oh, I do love that look of instant panic every time I try to change your routine." He fixed on a bright smile as he turned to the man in the chair. "And you must be Will. Emma told me you're the cutest guy in school. Will, you grind your teeth?"

"I don't think so," Will said, looking confused.

Carl could see the panic escalating in Emma's actions, the way her hands were clasped in her lap. When he made eye contact with her, raising both eyebrows in a silent question, she gave him one desperate shake of the head. He was going to need to change his strategy.

With an unobtrusive motion, he made his phone buzz.

"Damn it," he said, peering at the screen.

"What? What's wrong?" Emma said quickly.

"Another teenager needs a root canal," he improvised. "I swear, not one student in this school is going to have their teeth by the time they're 30. Oh, the sugar kids eat today."

Emma babbled something to Will about a seminar on dental hygiene while Carl monitored her stress level, watching it ebb somewhat. She wasn't in imminent danger of an anxiety attack anymore. But now Will was talking to him. He drew his focus back to Will's face.

"Why don't you come talk to Glee Club?" he was saying.

Carl paused. It took him a moment to realize Will meant he should talk to the glee club, not as a musician — certainly not as a parent — but as a dentist. He glanced at Emma, who looked stunned.

Glee club, he tried to say with his eyes, with Rachel… and Finn?

"Well, that would be a dream, Will," he found himself saying. Emma's eyes widened.

"Uh, Will, that would be… amazing," she said weakly.

Will clearly thought he was being generous. "I'm usually pretty tight about our rehearsal schedule, but I think I can loosen the reins a bit for Carl."

They joked about stupid things until Will finally left. Carl moved immediately over to stand beside Emma, placing a heavy hand on the back of her neck and holding her wrist with the other.

"I'm just taking your pulse," he murmured. She shifted from foot to foot.

"Everyone can see everything in here," she replied. "We can't —"

"No, no. I won't do anything for you. I didn't intend to cause conflict between you and your colleagues."

"It's fine," she said quickly, "no, you can — I'm fine. Sir."

He considered her with a steady expression until she settled under his hand.

"I'm not quite sure what I just agreed to," he said. "I'm going to speak with Glee club about… dental hygiene?"

She glanced at her feet. "I don't know what I was saying, I just panicked."

He nodded. "Well, I suppose I'll come up with something. I could tell Will was trying to make things easier for you. Everything's okay with him?"

"Oh, yes, we're — yes." At his murmured command, she looked up at him. "Sir. He's having trouble with his fiancé. Kind of all the time, but I don't think it's serious."

"All right. You can make the appointment with Mark for me to come to speak with the glee club, and I'll be there. I can play the easy-going boyfriend." He gave her his most dazzling fake smile, the one that would have gotten him swatted if Tess had been there. Emma just smiled back, actually seeming to be dazzled. He wondered if she could tell the difference at all.

"Do you have anything more from me, sir?" she asked softly.

He felt a genuine rush of love for her, and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. "Not until tonight," he said. "I'll see you for dinner."

"So let me get this straight," said Kurt, holding up the ripped jacket to inspect it in the light from the attic window. "Artie made the football team?"

"Coach said he did." Finn was fluttering around him like an expectant father. "I mean, first she pretended she thought I was making fun of her and cut me from the team, but then she fixed that, and now I guess she's trying to look like she changed her mind. Or maybe she really did change her mind, I don't know. So do you think you can fix it?"

"Dave ripped this in half?" Kurt said for the third time. "With his own hands? For crying out loud. That boy has more drama in his forearm than me and Rachel put together."

"Kurt," Finn said again, with a note of pleading.

"I'll try, all right? I mean, there'll be a seam, but I think I can make it look like there should be one there. I just can't promise it'll be exactly like it was."

Finn sat heavily in the chair by the window and blew out a breath. "Yeah. I guess you can't, really. Not when it's torn up like that."

Kurt slipped a finger inside the lining and inspected the edges. "You know what the word is for when you tear holes in a piece of cloth? It's rend. Past tense, rent." He smiled a little at his own wordplay. Finn still looked too distraught to care. Kurt tut-tutted at him. "Come on, it's just a jacket."

"Yeah, but I earned it," he said heavily. "I don't know if I'll ever get another one, especially considering Azimio's making me his own personal punching bag. He spends all his time trying to get me to admit I'm bisexual. I wonder what he would do if I told him he was right." He shrugged. "You think he'd give up and leave me alone?"

"Bisexual?"

Kurt didn't mean to include that quaver in his voice, but it was there nonetheless. Finn looked up right away. He held out a hand, and Kurt came over and took it, sitting on his knee.

"Kurt-sexual," he said, and smiled as he kissed Kurt's neck above his scarf. Kurt let out a sound that was half laugh, half moan.

"I'm not trying to get you to label yourself any particular way, Finn," he said. "It's just the first time I've heard you say it about yourself."

"Yeah, well. It's not exactly right, but I guess gay isn't either. I mean, I'm not gay like you and Blaine are. And I still like boobs."

Kurt shuddered. "Don't remind me."

Finn's phone vibrated in his pocket. He dug it out and looked at the screen, showing it to Kurt. "Dave?"

I'll have to thank Artie for providing me with an out during that dust-up today, Dave said in his text. He let me exit gracefully without hitting you back. I'm really, really sorry about your jacket. You can have mine, if you want.

Finn huffed in surprise, smiling a little. "Jeez. That's… kind of decent."

"Like I told you."

Kurt thinks he can fix it, Finn typed back. He's awesome on the sewing machine.

"Hitting you back?" Kurt added.

Finn chuckled. "Uh, yeah, I kind of… swung at Azimio. Which, I know, stupid, but I was so annoyed at him, with his mean girls routine and every rude name in the book. I mean, come on, he called Artie the crippled kid."

Kurt frowned. "He's just trying to provoke you. Notice Artie wasn't the one swinging at him. He has a much better sense of self-preservation."

If it doesn't work, I want to know, all right? Dave replied in his text. He added, Kurt's not mad at me, is he?

"I'm not," Kurt said right away, but Finn just typed, Come up to the attic and find out for yourself.

"I don't want to get caught in that same phone-tag thing we did last week," said Finn, putting his phone away. "Friends should talk to you, not through me. I don't even know if I'd call him my friend, anyway."

Kurt stood up and went to the door to wait for Dave's knock. "You can call him anything you want to. You don't have to be friends with my friends."

There wasn't any reason to pretend he wasn't taking care of Dave, just a little, but it felt like an ordinary friend kind of taking-care, not like the way it was with himself and Noah or even himself and Blaine. Finn shook his head.

"You, friends with Dave Karofsky."

Kurt just looked back at him, daring Finn to say something else.

"Friday is date night," Kurt said eventually. "Dave wanted me to go to the observatory, but I said no. I feel kind of bad… but not bad enough to cancel a night at Masque with Noah. Carole already said she'd watch Beth on Friday night."

Finn nodded. He looked genuinely grateful. "Blaine said he thought he could arrange some alone time for the two of us at his dad's house, while he and Stephen are away."

"I'm glad," Kurt said softly. "He needs time alone with you."

"Yeah," Finn agreed. He dropped his gaze to his hands, clasped in front of himself.

Kurt nodded. "You really miss him."

"Yeah." The word was just a murmur. Finn cleared his throat. "I — I guess I didn't know it was going to be this hard, being together all summer and then going back to seeing him once or twice a week. It's stupid, how much I'm thinking about him. Wondering if he's okay, what he's doing." He chuckled to himself. "I wonder if this is how Puck feels about Beth, thinking about her all the time."

"Maybe. I don't know."

Finn turned his head to look out the window. "Maybe that's how Carl feels about me, too."

"Oh, Finn," whispered Kurt.

Then the knock came, and Kurt put his hand on the knob. For a moment, he considered not opening it, but then Finn waved at him.

"Let him in," he said. "I'm okay. It's… not a new thought."

Dave ducked through the door, a small man in a large body, and headed right for Finn where he was sitting by the window.

"Hey," he said, then paused. His eyes wouldn't land anywhere for long, glancing off and finding a new target every few seconds.

"Hey," Finn said. He watched Dave for a moment before he sighed and set the ripped jacket on the floor by the chair. Then he stood up and grabbed Dave by the shoulder. "Hey," he said again, and this time there was command in it.

Dave's face immediately screwed up in a familiar expression of fury, but he didn't move away from Finn's hand.

"It's —" Kurt began, but Dave cut him off roughly.

"Don't tell me it's fucking okay."

"Yeah. It's really not." Finn kept his Voice soft, but it was definitely there. Kurt could see Dave resisting it. "I was thinking, though, that I should say, we're okay."

Dave's gaze was fixed on the jacket now. He blinked hard. "Fuck."

They stood there in that pose for about twenty seconds, Finn's arm solid on Dave's shoulder, Dave wavering between tears and non-acknowledgement that there was a hug waiting for him. At some point Kurt wondered if he should interrupt, because this was kind of a heavy moment between two people who weren't even sure if they were friends.

"Kurt was saying about the observatory," said Finn.

Dave blinked differently, this time at Finn.

"Yeah," he said, sounding guarded.

"I'd like to see that some time. It sounds cool."

Now Dave was definitely bewildered, but he didn't look angry anymore. "Yeah, it is. I mean, sure. You could come. First Fridays are open to the public, but… well, my dad has the key, so I can go any time."

"Is it like this place is for us? Kind of a sanctuary? Or is it mostly cool because of what you can see through the telescope?"

Finn was talking him down, literally. When Finn sat on the chair, Dave sat, too, on the floor next to him, much more gracefully than Kurt would have expected from a person that big.

"It can be," Dave said. "It was, sometimes, when my mom and dad were fighting a lot. Now it's more about the knowledge. I guess I like having access to the universe."

"Access to the universe," Finn repeated. "I like that."

"Yeah, it's really different from looking at pictures of space online. You'll see, when you come." Dave blushed suddenly, his cheeks going instantly bright red. "I mean, you don't have to."

"I want to," Finn insisted. "Maybe Blaine could come too?"

"Maybe." Dave closed down at the mention of Blaine, but he didn't say fuck no, which is what he definitely would have said a month ago. He looked up at Finn with curiosity. "So… this thing with Rachel Berry?"

Finn laughed, which made Dave relax more. He shook his head.

"I like her," said Finn. "She's more of an outcast than anybody I know, and she hasn't figured out how to fit in just about anywhere, and… she's always giving it a hundred percent anyway. She knows what she wants. I admire that. And she's really fun to sing with."

Dave nodded thoughtfully. "You don't think she's just using you for your popularity?"

Finn laughed again, louder. "What popularity? I'm just another Glee loser now. I'm not even quarterback anymore."

"She's trying to figure out the difference between what she has and what she wants," Kurt said. They both turned to look at him. "Well, you told her about Blaine. She knows what she's up against now, but she's also not going to take no for an answer."

Now Finn was the one who looked thoughtful. "The difference between what she has and what she wants?"

"I don't think she's above stepping on others to get what she wants. But I think she'll listen to you."

"Yeah… I think she will, too." Finn wrinkled his nose, making Kurt laugh.

"You don't want her to listen to you?" Dave asked.

Finn sighed. "It's so much weirder than that."

Kurt glanced at his phone as it buzzed, then did a double take at the text from Noah: holy shit you'll never guess whose in the choir room to give us a lechure about tooth brushing. Doctor fucking Howell.

"Oh," said Kurt. He put a hand to his mouth. "Uh… Finn? I think it might be about to get a lot weirder."