This was meant to be an episode of a chapter but it got too long and too different than the rest of the chapter so I am posting it as a stand-alone instead. This is all in Gaara's POV and goes from the time of the war all the way through all the chapters we have so far, about 10 years in time. Some chapters may be worth rereading.

Feedback and engagement is what really helps motivate me to update faster. :) Thank you to everyone who has been following the story!

Note: Follow me on AO3 - same story title, same username. Much more writing-friendly platform though and I respond to all comments on there.

Chapter 10: Silent Lament

Posted on January 26th, 2023

9 Years Ago During the Fourth Shinobi War

Everyone whose strategic opinion matters is in the boardroom discussing strategy how to proceed and advance in the war. Naruto is standing with her arms crossed between Tsunade and the Raikage, looking down at the large map laid out on the table. The offensive side is strong and time to make adjustments and possibly get the upper hand seems to be getting tighter. It didn't help that the enemy was mostly unpredictable and kept surprising them every step of the way. However, Shikamaru had suggested a strategy that may allow them to be a step ahead of the enemy. Naruto had noted Shikamaru's continuous excellent input during the war and his contributions during the Akatsuki attack on Konoha. The blonde had decided that if she were to one day sit as Hokage, she would offer Shikamaru to be her primary advisor.

Tsunade puts her arms on her waist. "I think we've established the main points. We move at sunrise. Get some rest everyone. It will be a long day tomorrow."

Chatter fills the boardroom as people break out into groups. Some stay and some head out. Naruto is almost at the door, deep in thought, when she feels a warm hand on her shoulder. "Oh hey Gaara," she turns around and greets. Gaara and Naruto had been spending a lot of their time together during the war efforts. The war had caught everyone by surprise and everyone was putting their best effort forward against a common very dangerous and very unpredictable enemy. Naruto had to admit though that she had very much been enjoying catching up with her old friend. They had grown closer going together through this war. Naruto admired Gaara for being such an efficient leader at such a young age. She observed his way of command and learned from it.

"Watch this." Gaara pulls Naruto to the side and points with his eyes for her to look through the window. Naruto looks and sees Shikamaru standing outside, where just a minute later Temari shows up. They proceed to walk away and when Naruto really looks closely, she can see their fingers brushing against each other.

Naruto gasps. "What? Shika and your sister? When?"

"I noticed only a few days ago. I don't know how long it has been going on. But he better treat her right. People disappear during war all the time." Gaara's eyes darken, looking at them through the window.

Naruto bursts out laughing and puts her hands on his chest. "Aren't you the little brother? There's no need to be so salty. Your sister is old enough to know what she's doing and Shikamaru is honestly one of the best guys I know. Possibly the smartest person I know to be honest."

"We'll see." Gaara closes the topic. He leans closer to Naruto, putting a hand over where her hands are still resting on his chest. "You looked so good today in the boardroom shoulder to shoulder with all the Kages and strategists. Like you belong. You will be an amazing Hokage one day. After we get through all this."

"Hmmm…" Naruto smiles and throws her arms around Gaara's shoulders to draw him in closer. He encircles her waist. "And you looked amazing earlier today giving that speech to the joined forces. Maybe you can remind me some of it?"

Naruto's breath is hot against Gaara's face and he leans down to kiss her. Somewhere in the midst of their catching up and late-night walks, they had found themselves alone and awfully close to each other. They had kissed then, slowly and hesitantly at first, then more deeply and long. It had been a couple of weeks since that turn in their relations. None of them had talked about what that meant or what they wanted it to become, in large part due to the raging war and not knowing if they would be alive the next day.

For Gaara, who had been in love with Naruto for years, this had been an unexpected but absolutely delightful turn of events. Gaara wanted to tell Naruto about his feelings and what his intentions toward the blonde were, but it just wasn't the right time. He couldn't wait for the war to be over and for things to quiet down so he could talk to her.

Of course there was the issue of her obsession with the Uchiha. Gaara had always known about it but after seeing Naruto hyperventilate and have a panic attack when informed that the five Kages wanted the Uchiha dead after his attack of the Kage summit, Gaara's heart was crushed thinking there would be no way Naruto would be interested in anyone else after seeing such a reaction. But after spending time with her now during the war and getting to hold her and kiss her almost every day, Gaara had reason to think that maybe she really viewed the Uchiha only as her best friend like she said and her obsession was actually only duty and devotion.

Gaara licks at her lower lip and slips his tongue inside her mouth. Once he tastes Naruto's mouth, his eyes almost roll back in his head. No matter how many times he tasted her, her taste always made his breath hitch. He draws her in closer and deepens the kiss. Everything he had imagined what it would be like being with her, it was a thousand times better. Gaara wanted to take her all the way and devote himself to her, make love to her and give her pleasure in any way she wanted. But that would have to wait until after the war and only when Naruto showed that she was willing and ready. For now, Gaara feels like the luckiest man in the world even in their little situationship.

Heavy steps approach down the hallway and Naruto and Gaara withdraw from each other.

"Yo, gakis," Tsunade calls. Tsunade, the Raikage and Killer B make their way down the hallway. "There is a makeshift bar on camp. We're heading there if you want to join." Tsunade offers. Her sharp eyes look from Naruto to Gaara, to his ruffled hair and glistening lips. Her eyes narrow.

"Baa-chan, what the hell. You want to drink with kids during a war?!"

"Hardly kids." Tsunade's eyes rest heavily on Gaara. He holds her gaze steadily. Tsunade looks back to Naruto. "And stop calling me that!"

"I can't stop now, it's been too long! You should've told me years ago!"

"I did you gaki!"

Once they get to the bar, the older adults order them drinks. "I don't want any of us to die before we all get to drink together yo." Killer B says and serves them sake shots. Tsunade downs hers with no problem of course and grabs a bottle of sake as a chaser. Naruto downs hers but doesn't really like it and makes a face. Gaara has had sake before and doesn't care much for it but allows for the Raikage to pour him another drink. Naruto goes to the bar to ask the bartender to make her something lighter. Killer B goes to sing much to everyone's entertainment and the Raikage decides to enter a makeshift arm-wrestling tournament.

Tsunade approaches Gaara who is sipping on his drink at the table. "What are you doing?" Tsunade leans against the table at the corner next to Gaara.

"Please elaborate."

"With Naruto. Making out in the hallway."

"You didn't see that."

"Please. I've seen enough horny teens in my lifetime to know the signs of what I saw."

Gaara narrows his eyes at her. He may be in his teens still, but his leadership was not any weaker than the other kages and being called a horny teenager was disrespectful.

"If it is my intentions toward Naruto you are worried about, I can assure you they are serious and honorable."

Gaara's seriousness takes Tsunade aback and she blinks at him. "Your intentions? No, I'm not worried about that. I know you are smitten with her." Gaara narrows his eyes. Tsunade shrugs her shoulders and takes a sip.

"What is it then? If you are not worried about me taking advantage of her, why are you here asking me what I am doing being with her."

Tsunade looks at him for several long moments, her eyes assessing him in an open and honest way. "Oh honey. Are you blind, or pretending to be? With her? I'm not worried about your intentions toward Naruto. I'm worried about her intentions with you, or the lack of them."

"What?"

"I am sure she's not being malicious. But can you honestly look at me and say you don't know that girl is completely in love with the Uchiha?"

Tsunade's words pull at Gaara's deepest insecurities and fears. He looks away and grips his glass harder. He doesn't want to look into her eyes full of pity. "You're wrong. He is just her best friend. She feels duty and obligation to help him."

"That's what she says because she is the most thick-headed shinobi I have ever met and she refuses to acknowledge it for what it is. There is something there that I can't quite put my finger on but I've never seen it before. Make no mistake - if she is successful and Sasuke does stand down and come back, she is going straight to him and you will be left behind somewhere like a vague memory." Tsunade moves closer and puts a hand on his shoulder. "I love Naruto with all my heart, even if she drives me crazy. And I believe you do too, only in a different way. She'd never mean to hurt you intentionally, but she is filling in a void and you happen to be there, in love with her and willing. She will break your heart. Protect yourself. End it now before you're too deep in and are not heartbroken yet."

Gaara stands up to leave and downs his drink, setting down the glass loudly on the wooden table. "I am already too deep in."

Gaara moves through the crowd where Naruto is dancing to Killer B's jam. She has a large smile on her face and Gaara smells a fruity drink on her breath. "Gaara! Let's dance. Killer B's about to drop the bass!" Gaara looks at her happy face and swinging body and wishes to draw her in and kiss her in front of everyone. Show Tsunade that Naruto is receptive of his affections and it's not all in his head. But Gaara reminds himself to not put Naruto in an awkward situation and closes his eyes to regain control of himself again. Tsunade really had hit the target of where it hurt with her words. Gaara opens his eyes and sees Naruto jumping up and down as Killer B drops the bass. He smiles.

Some time later when Naruto comes out to take a breath of fresh air, Gaara takes her hand and leads her to a more secluded area. He looks into her eyes and holds her face, wanting to ask her all the questions inside his heart but knowing that it's just the wrong time now. He kisses her deeply instead, hoping she'd be able to read his heart and mind. Naruto raises herself up on her tippy toes and takes his tongue in deeper. Whatever fruity alcohol she'd had, it had definitely made her even more responsive.

They are in Naruto's tent then and Naruto's is taking off Gaara's top. She scratches down the exposed, strong chest and sucks at the base of his jaw. Gaara presses her down against the bedding and settles between her legs. When his erection presses against her core through their clothes, they both groan loudly. Naruto digs her nails into his shoulders and rubs herself against his erection, moaning. Gaara holds her around her waist and presses his thumb against her plump lower lip and she sucks on it. Gaara hisses, her increased responsiveness making it hard for him to hold back. He could have her like this right now, he thinks. He could take her top off, kiss her breasts. He could take her pants off, he thinks, and lick her until she orgasms on his tongue. She'd probably let him. He could be inside her, he thinks, make love to her, take her, give her pleasure until she passes out. Tsunade was right at least about one thing – Gaara was desperately smitten by Naruto, and he wanted their life together to be established once and for all.

But one look into Naruto's hazy eyes and Gaara withdraws. It wasn't right. Gaara could smell the alcohol on her breath and see it in her eyes. She might let him pleasure her now, but it wouldn't fully be her. If Gaara was to do something so crucial with Naruto, he wanted it to be when she is completely present and in control of her judgment.

"Gaara?" Naruto props herself up on her elbows as Gaara is putting his shirt back on, his back to her. "What's wrong?"

"You had alcohol. We both did."

"So? I'm not drunk. We're doing what we've done before." Naruto reasons.

Gaara hears a slight slur in her words and his decision is solidified.

"It's different." Gaara insists. "I'll bring you some water." By the time Gaara comes back with the water, Naruto is already asleep. Gaara covers her with a blanket and regards her for a while. She had never been this enthusiastic the days before when they hadn't had alcohol. It could be that she'd gotten more used to Gaara now and more relaxed with him, but something gnawed at chest. Despite everything, Gaara decides that even if Naruto ends up breaking his heart, it would still be worth it trying for her.

Naruto wakes up with a headache and she has to pee like crazy. There's pain killers and water by her side. Naruto takes them, trying to clear her head. Later, when she is breaking down her tent in preparations to go, she sees a familiar form pass by.

"Hey Neji-san-" the passing man turns around and Naruto blinks. She had mistaken him for Neji with her (passing) headache, but the man was taller, his hair was shorter, and he was at least a couple of years older. He had the same lavender Hyuuga eyes as Neji and the same color hair. The man gives her a small smile and Naruto apologizes for her mistake.

"That's okay, Uzumaki-sama. My name is Hyuuga Naoto."

"What- Sama…?" Naruto is surprised at the honorific form the man uses. "My name is Naruto."

"I know."

"Have we met before?" Naruto looks at him harder.

"I am part of ANBU, Uzumaki-sama. I end up being everywhere."

Naruto tries to read between the lines of what he is telling her. Did he… have to observe her as part of an ANBU mission or something? And what information was he trying to provide her with by using an honorific form when addressing her? Naruto's head starts hurting again.

Gaara approaches from the neighboring camp. The Hyuuga nods at Naruto, wishes her luck, and leaves.

"How are you feeling?"

"Shitty. But getting better. Sorry if I said something stupid. I was always embarrassed when Jiraya would get trashed and start talking shit. Thanks for the uhh- umm… the pain killers and the water."

Gaara nods and helps her finish breaking down her tent and packing it all up in companiable silence. They get their stuff and start walking ahead of the general army.

Naruto is casually chatting with Kiba when Shikamaru approaches and joins the conversation.

"Naruto, listen… This is troublesome but we have to consider the option of Sasuke fighting on the enemy's side and prepare for it. We have credible information to believe he has been involved with Madara-"

"He won't do that." Naruto's statement is meant to be final. Shikamaru frowns.

"You don't know that. He hasn't exactly been on our side recently."

Naruto looks Shikamaru dead in the eyes. "Shika, drop it. I am telling you now there is no way Sasuke will be fighting along with Madara. He will either fight with us, alone against us, or none at all. Either way, I will handle it on my own."

Shikamaru doesn't say anything after that. Somehow, he believes her. "What a drag…" He mutters as he watches her speed up and walk faster ahead.

They are regrouping during their fight with Madara when it happens. Naruto is talking with the others on what to do next while Madara is generating the Juubi. Suddenly Naruto goes completely quiet and her back straightens up. She stares off in the distance. By the time the others ask her what is wrong, she has already jumped out of rocks they were hiding behind and is running off.

"N-Naruto wait! What are you doing!" Kiba runs after her, followed by Gaara.

Hinata activates the Byakugan and gasps. "It's Uchiha-san!"

Naruto is faster than all of them. When she stops in front of an overpass, they all look up to see the Uchiha standing there. Gaara's breath hitches. The Uchiha jumps down in front of her, close, and looks at her. His face is impassive, but Gaara can see the black eyes are burning. Naruto is laughing in joy and draws in the Uchiha in a tight embrace. The Uchiha doesn't return the embrace but Gaara observes as his face falls closer to the dip of her neck and his insane eyes close for just a moment.

From then on, Gaara knows it's over.

Gaara aids in the fighting effort while Sasuke and Naruto handle Madara with the reincarnated Hokages and then proceed to take on Kaguya by themselves. There is nothing more Gaara could do. Tsunade was right – there was something more there between them. When it is revealed that Naruto and the Uchiha share some deep karmic bond given to them by the gods, Gaara realizes how stupid it had been on his part to convince himself that Naruto only wanted Sasuke back as a friend.

After the war is over, Gaara learns that the Uchiha has finally stood down and had been detained and imprisoned in Konoha and awaiting trial. The international trial in which Gaara sits as a Kage determines that Sasuke's contributions in ending the war were significant enough to keep him alive, but not enough to erase his record despite Hatake's best efforts as the newly appointed Hokage. The last time Gaara had heard, the Uchiha wasn't talking to anybody but Naruto.

Each of the villages focuses on rebuilding and recovering from the devastating events. Gaara doesn't see Naruto for several months. He distances himself from any matters of the heart, busy with work.

The next time Gaara sees Naruto, she is standing naked in front of him, begging for his help in freeing the Uchiha. Gaara had been pleasantly surprised by her visit and had cancelled all of his evening appointments. A romantic relationship may not have been on the table then, but he valued Naruto's friendship deeply and looked forward to spending time with her. Instead, Gaara found her in his Kage suite offering to sleep with him in exchange for the Uchiha's freedom.

Gaara swallows the bitter taste in his mouth. Realizes he'd never felt true heartbreak before until this moment. For Naruto to come all this way, with the clear intention of taking his feelings – the ones she knew about and the ones she didn't – stomping on them and using them to manipulate him into freeing the man who she had chosen before Gaara even had a chance… that was heartbreak.

Despite everything, Gaara did love Naruto sincerely, even if she didn't know the extend of his feelings, even if she had stomped on them. Gaara didn't approve of the Uchiha – he was an insane and dangerous man who would surely hurt Naruto again. But Gaara didn't want for Naruto to suffer the heartbreak he had. So he tells her to put her clothes back on and sends her back on her way home. Naruto had been correct about one thing – Gaara did have the pull to influence things in the Uchiha's favour, even if she'd never know how risky it had been.

When it is declared Sasuke will be freed, Naruto throws herself at Gaara to thank him. Gaara can't bring himself to embrace her back. All he can see is how she had embraced the Uchiha when he'd showed up during the war, without having done anything for her, having had not taken care of her, having only ever hurt her.

Gaara distances himself after that for many years. He focuses on his work and leadership, and his family. Of course news of Naruto's and Sasuke's consequent romantic involvement reach Suna. She had married the Uchiha according to Uchiha canon. Gaara shows no outward reaction when people are discussing around him. Really, with Tsunade retired and gone and Naruto with Sasuke now, nobody would even know that at some point there had been anything between Gaara and Naruto.

When Naruto is pronounced as the official successor of the Hokage, Gaara begins seeing her more often as she is travelling with the current Hokage to train. When they visit from Konoha, Gaara immediately notices the dark wedding band hugging her ring finger. Her palm also had the sign of a moon etched on it, no doubt a permanent mark of the Uchiha. Gaara makes it a point to excuse himself and leave as soon as the diplomatic visit is over.

Soon enough, Gaara's sister Temari marries the Shikamaru in Konoha. Gaara attends, happy his sister had settled down with a man who loved her and took care of her. Gaara actually quite like the Nara heir and thought Naruto had made an excellent decision in choosing him as her advisor.

Naruto is also at the wedding, wearing a light-mint colored dress, looking absolutely beautiful. She waves to Gaara from afar and it looks like she may come over to chat when the Uchiha comes back and hands her a glass full with amber-colored liquid, then proceeds to take her to the dancing floor and kiss her deeply. Gaara looks away. Naruto looks happy and that's all he cares about.

Gaara is sitting at the bar where one of the bridesmaids is chatting him up with flushed cheeks when Sasuke comes and orders a glass of apple juice and a water. Gaara has absolutely zero intention of talking to the Uchiha until the other man catches his attention.

"My wife. You always look at her." The Uchiha's eyes are dark and intense. Gaara can hear the rage and resentment in his voice.

Gaara seems unbothered and takes a sip of his drink. "We are old friends. Friends generally look at each other."

Sasuke frowns. "Don't play games with me. The way you look at her, it's not because she's your "friend". You want her."

The Uchiha's jealousy was famous and of course Gaara had heard about it. However, in this case, Sasuke wasn't wrong. Gaara's silence only confirms the accusation and Sasuke escalates. He steps in closer. "If you ever even think to-"

Gaara stands up directly in front of the Uchiha. "Think to what, Uchiha? Consider your next words very carefully. You are in no positions to be making threats, especially to a Kage. Do you want Naruto to be married to a prisoner?"

Whatever Sasuke was going to say, he holds it in and burns Gaara with his gaze instead. Gaara had heard the Uchiha had the ability to set black flames ablaze with his eyes. Gaara huffs. He bet that's what the Uchiha was dying to do now.

"You have always been a coward, Uchiha. Naruto is so obviously devoted to you and you are walking around making threats, worried that someone might be looking at her." While I have to endure the love of my life being married to another man. Gaara feels like laughing at the ridiculousness of the Uchiha's unbased jealousy. He'd never seen anyone as devoted as Naruto was to Sasuke, and here the man was going insane that someone might be looking at her. It was truly ironic.

The intensity Sasuke is staring at Gaara with would scare a lesser man. Gaara understood now what people meant when they spoke about the threat in the Uchiha's eyes and their intensity, even without the Sharingan.

"You guys alright?" Shikamaru looks from one man to the other. Sasuke holds Gaara's gaze for a few moments more, before stepping away and leaving with his drinks to go dance with his wife. Shika follows the leaving man with his eyes and raises an eyebrow. "And you guys were okay?" Shika repeats.

"Yeah. Just catching up." Shika raises an eyebrow at that but doesn't push further. Gaara sits back down at the bar stool and orders another drink. "You're friends with him?"

"Yeah. We've been hanging out steadily since he came back and I see him often at work. He's not a bad guy, just… still healing. Naruto looks very happy though. Did she tell you she's pregnant yet?"

Gaara didn't think it could hurt more, but yet it does. That explains the apple juice. She was carrying the Uchiha's heir. Lucky fucking son of a bitch.

Gaara downs his whole drink. "No, I didn't know. Please give her my congratulations." Gaara orders another drink. He couldn't wait for this wedding to be over.

The news of Naruto's miscarriages one after the other reach Suna. Gaara hurts for his friend for the pain she must be feeling. He hoped Sasuke was supportive and kind.

Gaara starts going to Konoha more often to visit his first nephew and godson. He is happy for his sister and the loving family she has created for herself. Gaara stays in the Nara compound when he visits, and doesn't attempt to seek out Naruto. As the years pass, his hurt settles and becomes a part of himself, like something deep inside his chest that was always there. Gaara knew that at this point, he would always love Naruto and she was certainly the love of his life. But knowing she was happy, even if it was with someone Gaara didn't approve of, was enough.

"Naruto is not doing great." The news comes from Shikamaru. Gaara and Shika are in the living room in the Nara compound, folding some laundry while Temari is feeding their son. Gaara immediately looks up at Shikamaru.

"What do you mean? Is she safe?"

"She's safe," Shika confirms. He adds cleanly folded baby socks to the pile. "She just looks… not well. Different. It's like… It's like Sasuke is consuming her. I can't explain it. After she started having those miscarriages, Sasuke just became different. So much more intense with his presence and in his actions. We're not even friends that much anymore, him and I. I feel like he puts so much on Naruto, and she already has so much on her plate running a village. I just don't know how to help her."

Gaara doesn't like what he is hearing. He understands Shikamaru's frustration with the situation and the inability to help. Those were only part of the feelings Gaara had forced himself to bury down for the sake of Naruto's happiness. Now that Shikamaru, who spent almost every day with Naruto, was telling Gaara that Naruto was not so happy anymore, caused Gaara to feel anger rising at the back of his throat.

When Temari gives birth again, Gaara is not surprised that they had chosen Naruto to be the baby girl's godmother. Gaara couldn't think of a better choice. When Temari recovers and they decide to host a party in the baby's honor, Gaara is there to help them get organized. Shikamaru's mother and relatives come to help them cook and set up everything. Temari asks Gaara to run to the market for some last-minute supplies and that is where he runs into Naruto. She looks paler and tired, but undoubtedly happy to see him. She draws him in in a hug and Gaara allows her, although reluctantly. His feelings were buried way too deep and he had forced himself to keep a distance from her way too hard to let it fall apart now. Gaara is surprised how easily they fall into a conversation walking back to the Nara compound.

It's refreshing to have Naruto around without the Uchiha stealing all her attention away from everyone else. Gaara sips at his drinks and smiles looking at Naruto so beautiful in her dress. She looks relaxed and happy, genuinely enjoying the party and talking to her friends. She holds the baby girl carefully. "She has your eyes, Temari! But she's frowning just like Shika." Naruto exclaims and everyone laughs. Shika had told Gaara privately earlier that Naruto was pregnant again, but very few people knew because of her many miscarriages. Even so, there is not an ounce of jealousy or sadness when she holds Shika and Temari's baby. She seems genuinely happy for them and like she was enjoying herself being there.

As the evening progresses, Gaara finds himself selfishly wanting some of Naruto's time and attention to himself. All evening he had been fighting to suppress the buried feelings. When they go out to the balcony together, Gaara basks just being in her presence after so many years. When she smiles widely and holds him in a tight embrace, Gaara knows there is no hope of ever falling out of love with her. As he holds her back tightly, even while married and pregnant with another man's child, she is absolutely breath taking and Gaara knows she would never ever feel the same way for another person.

As if in response to Gaara's sinful thoughts, Sasuke bursts in out of nowhere and causes a commotion at the party. His eyes are full with insanity and deep rage as he screams, shoving Temari with the baby and other people away. Gaara knows the Uchiha's fist is about to connect with his face and he doesn't fight it. The Uchiha had been right – Gaara was looking at his wife like he wanted her. Because he did.

After the Uchiha lands two punches on Gaara, he is restrained with a shadow jutsu by a shaking Shikamaru. Gaara had never seen the Nara so profoundly shaking in rage before as he struggled to maintain the restraining jutsu and not charge at Sasuke himself for pushing his wife and baby and crashing his daughter's party.

Warm blood trickles down Gaara's face. He wipes his bleeding eyebrow with the sleeve of his sweater and stands up. When he looks at Naruto, his heart clenches and he wishes he could comfort her. The blonde looks absolutely mortified and enraged at her husband's outburst. She grabs him and they disappear in a flash with her teleportation jutsu.

Later that evening, Shikamaru confronts Gaara about him being in love with Naruto while Temari is stitching up his eyebrow. His lip has finally stopped bleeding.

"You're in love with Naruto." Shikamaru says, and it is a statement rather than a question.

Gaara slants a gaze at Shikamaru before looking away again.

"Yes I am."

There was no denying it. There was no burying it. Now that he'd seen the hurt on Naruto's face first-hand, he couldn't pretend anymore that her being with the Uchiha had any potential of being good for her. But it wasn't his place to intervene, unless Sasuke's aggression became directed at Naruto. Then Gaara would for sure kill the coward. Gaara suffered even more now, knowing that Naruto was suffering. If Naruto came to him for comfort, he would comfort her, but other than that, he had to take care of his own sanity first. Even if Sasuke did something as outrageous as his actions tonight, Gaara knew that would hardly be a reason for Naruto to leave her husband. After all, they had that karmic bond binding them together and Naruto had forgiven worse acts of the Uchiha's in the past.

By the time Suna hears about the attack on Konoha, it is already over. Gaara immediately proposes to send troops for reinforcement, but the Hokage's office thanks him and tells him reinforcements are not needed. When after a few months the Hokage and her associates come to Suna for their annual diplomatic meetings, Gaara looks at Naruto's belly and finds it flat. She must have miscarried again. Gaara hoped she had someone by her side at the time.

To Gaara's dismay, Naruto has also brought the Uchiha who sweeps her away as soon as every diplomatic meeting is over. Gaara watches the couple interact and dance from the balcony during the Suna spring festival. It is perplexing how all feelings of animosity between them were absolutely gone. Naruto looked just as happy with Sasuke as she was before, as if nothing bad had ever happened. She had forgiven him, one more time, and continued to be devoted to him.

Gaara felt guilty for desiring her, but there was no changing it at this point. He would go to the grave loving her, even if she were to spend her whole life with the Uchiha instead.

When Sakura offers herself to Gaara as a way of getting back at Sasuke at Naruto, Gaara wants to laugh at her. First, because he knows that the Uchiha cares for being with her about a thousand times less than Naruto cares about being with Gaara compared to Sasuke. And second, Gaara felt it was ridiculous and sad that Sakura thought those two were ever separating. They had even announced their wedding next month. Nonetheless, Gaara felt his love for Naruto was honest, and he could live life loving her quietly as long as she was happy and taken care of.

"Please don't compare us," Gaara's tone is final. Their conversation is over. "We are nothing alike, and my love for Naruto is nothing like the obsession you have for Uchiha. I love and respect her enough to support whatever decision she makes."

Gaara takes several lovers throughout the years. As much as he tries to ignore it, he finds that he needs another person to somewhat satisfy his carnal needs. He feels companionship with some of them more so than with others, but doesn't feel strongly for anybody else other than Naruto. It had been almost a decade since he'd last held Naruto. Since then, he'd tried to put in his feelings and desires for her in other women, but it only left him feeling disappointed. Gaara let them all know he could never love them or commit to them. Still, most stayed, even knowing someone else held the Kazekage's heart.

The next time Gaara visits his family in Konoha, it happens to be the weekend of Naruto's wedding. With his jaw clenched tightly, Gaara goes through the motions of helping out and hang string lights to decorate the outside venue Naruto had chosen to make yet another gesture of commitment to the Uchiha, even if he didn't deserve it. When Naruto shows up and sees Gaara, she looks embarrassed and awkward.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about that one time at Shika's, I'm really, really sorry-" Naruto starts.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Gaara reassures calmly and gives her a small smile. Naruto blinks at him – his attitude is calm and forgiving. He is not holding anything against her.

She looks to the side. "You probably don't approve of this…" she gestures loosely toward the space behind her. "Given everything that happened…"

"You know best what is best for you, Naruto," Gaara says in a calm and steady voice. "If marrying Uchiha formally is what makes you happy, I'll help hang your string lights to support you."

When Naruto laughs, Gaara just looks at her with nothing but love and longing flowering up in his chest.

"Hey, listen…I'm sorry for not inviting you. You're more than welcome to come on my side, but I don't know how Sasuke would react…"

"That's fine, Naruto. I don't need to be there. I'll support you from afar. Actually, I'm babysitting for Shikamaru and Temari while they're attending." Suddenly, he needs to be far from her and the place where she is about to formally say "I do" to the Uchiha tomorrow and completely destroy any chance of ever being with Gaara instead. "I'm going to go finish this up. Shikamaru will get in trouble if we're not back on time." Gaara heads back. "And Naruto – congratulations. I really hope you'll be happy."

"Sasuke knows about Naruto and you during the war." Shika tells Gaara. "But not because Naruto told him or because he figured it out. He must have broken into her mind and gone through her memories. I was good friends with Sasuke until… until Naruto started having miscarriages and I was watching her deteriorate every day. Sasuke is a possessive and vengeful man – I absolutely see him doing it."

"We're not telling her anything. This stays between you and me." Gaara looks at Shikamaru with resolve. Gaara's voice is stern and commanding. For all they knew, Naruto could already be aware of her husband having broken into her mind before. It was also a serious accusation to make with very little proof. However, Gaara believed that Naruto had seen enough of the Uchiha and his insanity and she knew exactly what she was marrying. If Shikamaru was to be believed – and he was a very credible source and an excellent observer – the had not been treating her well for a while. She'd seen what Sasuke was capable of through the years and repeatedly chose to forgive it. Gaara thought the news of Sasuke breaking into her mind would be no different and it was not worth potentially ruining her wedding day over.

"You choose not to tell her? Even if it could mean she could separate from him and you could finally have a chance?" Shika asks.

Gaara takes a deep breath in and looks through the window. "Yes."

Shika smiles sadly.

"… You really do love her, don't you?"

"She found out." Shika tells Gaara in the evening before Naruto's wedding. "Somehow, she remembered that Sasuke had broken into her mind. During the party while everyone was there. It was horrible. The wedding is cancelled. Sasuke was detained by ANBU for high treason and is in custody for interrogation. I've never seen Naruto so broken to the point where she just disassociated and went quiet."

Gaara is not surprised to hear that Naruto had been upset upon learning about her husband breaking into her mind. But Gaara is shocked to learn that Naruto had taken such drastic steps to punish the Uchiha for his actions. Her track record seems to be getting upset with Uchiha and then forgiving him, never really punishing him. After all, Naruto was Sasuke's biggest advocate for forgiveness during his trials and was the one who pleaded with everyone to give him a chance and accept him back into the village. But to cancel their wedding and throw Sasuke in jail… those were the actions of someone who had had enough. Could this have been Naruto's last straw?

Gaara felt hopeful, if for nothing else than for Naruto's own well-being and sanity. But Gaara was also cautious with assuming that Naruto had finally seen that the Uchiha would never change and would keep hurting her. This display of punishment also had the potential to only be a display to the benefit of the people who saw the whole fiasco. It would be unseemly if it was revealed in front of several Kages and high-up military officers that the Hokage's husband had committed high treason and for her to just let him go unpunished. Gaara had no way of knowing if Naruto would have done the same if she wasn't surrounded by assessing eyes when she had found out. Gaara feared this was all a display for the benefit of the people who had been witnesses. For all they knew, Sasuke could set him free in a few days and start planning a new wedding.

"I'll authenticate the scroll." Gaara states during the last Kage meeting where Naruto had requested for Uchiha Sasuke to be moved solely under Konoha's jurisdiction instead of being trialed internationally for his treason. "I won't give it to anyone to view. I trust your word. In two days, I will send word to the other Kages that the scroll is authentic and that they should move forward with removing Uchiha from their criminal list."

Even if Naruto was effectively requesting a looser judgement for Sasuke, Gaara hoped that she was doing it in an effort to move the spotlight away from Konoha and herself, rather than to use her authority to let the Uchiha free again and run back to him. In the off-chance that that's what she was aiming at, Gaara proposes his assistance in expediting the process by authenticating the scroll containing the memories Sasuke had stolen from Naruto and giving his approval for the Uchiha to be taken off the international criminal list.

Also… there was a part of Gaara that felt satisfaction knowing that the Uchiha had seen him with Naruto. It had been short and almost nothing compared to what Uchiha had had with Naruto, but still it must have put a serious dent in the Uchiha's mind if Sasuke's actions were anything to judge by.

Above all, Gaara had insisted on taking the scroll instead of any of the other Kages in order to preserve Naruto's dignity. If somebody else had taken it, they'd actually have people view it and inspect it in order to authenticate it. Gaara didn't want Naruto to be put in any situation of discomfort if it could be avoided.

As for whether Naruto was having Sasuke punished just to save face in front of the other Kage or if she was genuinely that pissed off with him… they'd know in a couple of days when Gaara projected Sasuke would be moved under Konoha's jurisdiction and Naruto had the power to decide what happened to him. And to all of them.

Whatever was to happen, Gaara hoped it would result in minimal suffering and heartache for Naruto.

He looked silently as she left the building and headed back to Konoha. It had been almost a decade that Gaara had been quietly longing for Naruto, and even longer since he'd been in love with her. It didn't matter anymore if she was ever going to be with him and return his feelings. She'd become an integral part of him. He'd always act in her best interest and help her however he could, even if he didn't agree with all of her decisions. No matter how many more decades of silent lament Gaara would be sentenced to.

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