(Author's note: It's been forever since I posted, but I'm starting to write again! I have 27 chapters ready to post here and there's lots more after that. I'll post as quickly as I can, but probably you'll want to go back and skim the last bits I posted three years ago, just to get caught up. Heck, I had to go back and read the entire Donutverse just to know what was going on.

The Griffin and Sabine books discussed below are real, and believe me, I was just as surprised as Puck and Finn to find their names inside.

Quoting is from 2x03 Grilled Cheesus. I eliminated the actual grilled cheese sandwich from this episode because it was too much comic relief for my straight take on Glee, but the religious elements are still here. I messed with the timeline of the episode a little, too, to make it fit. The Losing My Religion scene, however, needs no editing, and watching it makes me cry. If you don't know the episode, you might want to be aware that someone has a medical crisis. Warning for angst, and that pretty much continues for the rest of the story.

On the bright side, we get to meet a bunch of new characters here, one of whom doesn't show up in the regular Glee timeline until season 6. You can read more about him in his own story, Apprehensive Naked Little Trembling Boy. -amy)

The first thing Kurt did when he woke up on Saturday was to call Blaine. He'd already texted him, just one word, COURAGE, but he hadn't gotten a response.

Kurt felt his heart sink when he heard the voice mail message speak to him in an unfamiliar male voice.

"This is Blaine Anderson's cell phone. Blaine is on a temporary phone hiatus. If you need to get a message to him, call his father, Darren Anderson, at 380-887-2109."

There was no beep to leave a message. Kurt was not about to call Blaine's father, at least not yet. He'd be able to do more if he stayed under the radar. He tried Blaine's email, too, but he got a bounce back immediately saying his account had been suspended. He'd have to trust that Blaine would find a way to get him a message.

The next person he called was Jeff, who sounded a little tired but glad to talk to Kurt. Finn sat with him on speakerphone.

"He was pretty messed up on the phone last night," Jeff told him. "I'm gonna pull some strings today and get our room assignments switched around so I can be his roommate."

"Oh, that's wonderful," Kurt sighed. "I know this is a lot to put on you."

"No, no. Blaine's a good kid. I'm gonna talk to some of the rest of the Warblers council and tell them what makes sense for them to know. Not the, uh. Discipline. We'll keep that private."

"Thank you again, Jeff. Please call me tonight and let me know how he's doing, all right? I can drive out any day this week, just let me know when it makes sense to come."

After a little thought, Kurt decided to call Irene. He didn't know her very well, but he knew she'd known Blaine a long time.

"I'm hoping, if his dad's going to make him come home every weekend — and I'm guessing he will — that he can make it out to Java the Hut to do some singing," Kurt told her. "If you see him, would you please call me?"

"Sure thing, Kurt," she said in her warm, serious voice. "I have some eyes on Darren Anderson that he might not know about. I'll make sure Blaine doesn't get himself into trouble."

All of this made Kurt feel ready to tell his dad and Carole about the situation when they went down to breakfast. Sarah sat beside him and looked completely pissed on his behalf.

"This is so messed up," she declared.

"Do you think he's in danger of harming himself?" Carole said, her face worried. "I know he had some trouble with drugs in the past."

"Jeff won't let him do that stuff anymore," Finn said. "Even if he wanted to, Jeff was his supplier, and he won't give him any."

His dad didn't look happy about that. "This guy who wants to be his roommate was giving him drugs? Kurt, I don't want you around that stuff."

"He's not doing drugs around Blaine, I promise," Finn said. Kurt knew he'd slept fitfully, and he looked it, his eyes dark and hollow. He ran a hand over his hair. "Puck and I have to get to football practice."

"You don't have to go," Kurt told him. Finn shook his head.

"It'll keep me busy. I'm going to eat my brain if I sit around here all day." He gave Kurt a little kiss, which definitely spoke to how distracted he was, because he seldom did that in front of Burt and Carole. They didn't comment.

"I want to help," Sarah announced. Kurt smiled at her.

"You want to figure out how to get around this block on his email?"

"Lauren can help with that," she said eagerly. "Send it to me and we'll work on it this afternoon. We're getting together to look at drainage solutions for the back acre. I think we're going to install an aerobic waste water treatment unit next spring."

Kurt was grateful he didn't have Cheerios practice anymore, but Finn had a point. He needed to do something active. He put on a pair of tennis shoes and went for a slow jog south on Bellefontaine. It was strange living on a rural road after growing up in town, but he appreciated the anonymity. Nobody stopped him and asked about his family, and on a day like today, that was a very good thing.

He managed to keep himself busy enough with homework and chores that when Puck and Finn got home, he was feeling reasonably optimistic.

"I know it's awful that we can't get in touch with him," he said, leading them back upstairs to his room, "but we'll figure it out. Blaine has a lot of people looking out for him."

"Yeah, his father," sighed Finn. "But yeah, okay, you're right. I told Coach Beiste about what happened to him. She was furious. Said she was about ready to pay his father a visit."

Puck snickered. "I'd like to be there for that."

"It's not funny," Finn insisted. "He's got a lot of power at that school. It's all the money he gives them, I guess. I wonder if that's why Blaine is lead Warbler."

Puck looked completely offended. "No way! It's because he's awesome."

Kurt got the books he'd taken off his shelf and brought them over to the bed. "Come on," he said, climbing up to sit in the middle. Finn and Puck sat on either side of him. "I think we need some inspiration. Later we can sing all of Blaine's favorite songs."

"That's just gonna make me cry all over again," said Finn. But he smiled when Kurt held out the first book on the stack, titled The Golden Mean. "I haven't read that one yet."

"No," said Kurt. "I haven't, either. I was saving it for a special occasion. But you read the first and second books, right?"

"We read them after I slashed the tires on Vocal Adrenaline's Range Rovers," said Puck, "and Finn got Carl to come over and cane me for it?"

He didn't seem self-conscious about that memory, which told Kurt he was in a good space. "That's right. Do you remember what happened in the story?"

"Griffin went all over the world, avoiding Sabine, and she went to his house," said Finn. "But when he came back to her, the house was empty. But she wrote him a letter saying, where are you? It was really creepy."

They settled in close to Kurt as he opened the book to the first page. They read it aloud, with Finn reading Sabine and Kurt reading Griffin, as always. Kurt thought he might feel too distracted to read, but he was drawn right into the story, in which Sabine's usually clear visions of Griffin's artwork were mysteriously darkened.

Puck looked distressed as they read. At one point he paused and touched the page.

"I didn't dream about Blaine last night," he said. "I don't think I dreamed at all."

Kurt knew Puck's sleep had been as disruptive as ever, but he just nodded. "You were exhausted."

"That's never stopped me before. I think something was in the way."

Kurt had no reply to that that wasn't going to irritate Puck. I don't believe in that was something he didn't have to say, and bringing it up again was just going to make things more uncomfortable.

The next page, however, brought them all up short. They sat there and stared at it.

"Holy shit," Finn breathed. "Kurt, did you know about this?"

"No, I — no!" Kurt looked again at the page, where the words "Puck" and "Fin" were printed, as clear as day.

Puck was grinning. "This is so fucking cool. I always knew this was our story. I can't wait to tell —" He cut himself off, his smile vanishing.

"I swear, I had no idea this was going to happen," Kurt said again. "It's just a massive coincidence."

Puck and Finn both stared at him like he was crazy. "Are you kidding?" Finn asked.

"Finn, not you, too?" Kurt rolled his eyes. "Come on. There's nothing mystical happening here. It's just a book, written by a man. It's not about us."

"I wonder who the dreaded Lugs is," Finn mused. "Maybe that's Blaine's dad."

"He did take away Blaine's cell phone," Puck agreed. "What about the half banana boat?"

Kurt closed the book, hard, and set it on the bed. "All right, I need a break."

"Kurt, come on!" Finn called. "Don't be like that."

"I can't talk about this right now. Just — give me a little bit. Can we go make lunch?"

Puck made them all grilled cheese while Finn and Kurt sat in uncomfortable silence. He brought it over to them and set it down in the middle of the table. He touched Kurt's shoulder.

"Don't tell me you want to pray before you eat," snapped Kurt.

"I might," said Puck. "But I'll do it in my head so you won't have to hear it, okay?"

That made Kurt flush with shame. He grabbed Puck's hand and kissed it, holding it to his face.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so on edge right now. You didn't deserve that."

"Baby, it's okay." Puck dragged a chair close and sat down next to Kurt, holding him. Kurt tried to relax in Puck's arms. "This is all pretty confusing. I'm just trying to make sense of it in the way I know how. And to be grateful for what I have. It's still a lot."

Finn smiled at the two of them. "Yeah, you're right. It really is."

Later, Kurt saw Finn doing something in his own room that looked like praying. He just walked quickly past and didn't say anything about it, and tried not to feel uncomfortable.

Kurt hurried home from school on Monday afternoon, prepared to get in the car and drive to Westerville, but when he called Jeff to check in with him, Jeff's first words were, "I don't think you should come, Kurt."

He paused on the porch, fumbling for his keys at the same time he was balancing his phone by his ear. "Is there a better day this week? I don't want to wait too —"

"No, you don't understand. I don't understand either, but… he's not being himself."

Kurt set his bag down in the front hall and sat on the bench, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"He's… pretending. Really hard. I don't know if you realize, he has a history of being like that a lot, Kurt. Trying to be perfect? Only now it's all the time, and he won't even relax when nobody else is around. I got the rooms switched around so we're together now, but he's still being that way even in our room. I think… he could use a little time to get used to the new situation before you come."

Kurt didn't like Jeff's uneasy tone. "What aren't you saying, Jeff?"

"Jesus," he muttered. "Well, he — I told him you were coming, and he kind of let his eyes wander away and asked, Kurt, who's that, and I said it's your boyfriend, and he let out this fake laugh and said, I don't have a boyfriend. That was in our room, Kurt, with nobody else around. He wasn't pretending for me. I think… I think he was pretending for himself."

A shiver of ice dripped down Kurt's spine. He wasn't sure he could take a complete breath, his chest felt so heavy.

"I can see why you'd be worried," he finally said.

"Yeah. So you can come out if you want, but I don't know what he's going to be like. I think it would be better to see if this resolves, and maybe come later in the week, or next week, okay? I promise I won't let him do anything stupid."

"No drugs," Kurt said firmly. "Unless his doctor prescribes them."

"Got it. I won't let him get near them, scout's honor."

"Okay," he sighed. "I'll call you tomorrow. Just do whatever you can. He needs to know he can trust somebody."

Kurt abandoned his messenger bag by the door and kicked off his shoes before heading upstairs to the elevated family room that lay between Puck's rooms and theirs. It was, among other things, the logical home for the green couch. Kurt stopped in his room and heaved his enormous new king-sized duvet off his bed, dragging it through the hallway and up the three steps to where the couch was. It wasn't until he reached the corner seat that he was finally able to relax and close his eyes.

It's Monday and I'm already exhausted, he thought. This is going to be a long week.

"Thanks for picking my brother up at the bus station," said Sarah, climbing into the passenger seat of Lauren's F-150.

"Sure thing," said Lauren. "But don't you have kind of a plethora of brothers with cars now?"

"Finn and Puck have football practice. They have a game this weekend. I could have asked Kurt, but he's a little freaked out about Blaine right now. I don't think I need to throw a new family member into the mix."

"Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how you all managed to hide this other brother from Puck all this time." She glanced curiously at Sarah as she pulled out of the middle school parking lot. "What's up with Blaine? I thought things were kind of awesome for them."

"That was before Blaine's dad told him he can't see them. Any of them. Except he doesn't know about Kurt, so in theory Kurt could visit? But Blaine's having some weird mental break." She shrugged. "I don't know him all that well, but they miss him and they're sad, so I'm sad for them."

Jake was waiting at the bus station when they got there. He even tolerated Sarah giving him a hug. To Lauren, he held out his hand and said, formally, "Jake Puckerman."

"I'm impressed your mom gave you a half day off school to come up here," Lauren said, shaking his hand.

"Oh, it's, uh. My therapist is in Lima, so she can justify the day off. And my mom, she likes Sarah. I think she really likes the idea of me having friends." He made a face, and Lauren laughed.

"You have friends," Sarah objected.

"Yeah, just none of them are in Mansfield. I think she thinks online friends don't count."

Even though they'd moved outside of town, it was still a short drive to the house. Jake looked impressed by the size of the place and the grounds.

"Toby talks about Lima like it's the armpit of the midwest, but I figured it couldn't be any worse than Mansfield. And this is really nice." Jake peered around the front hall dubiously. "Are you sure it's okay with your foster dad if I'm here without any grownups around?"

"I'm almost twelve," said Sarah.

Jake's mouth twitched into a smile. "Translation: you didn't ask."

"Well, maybe not. But Lauren's here. She can be the responsible adult. It's not like we're making napalm or something."

They warmed up some of Puck's sausage rolls in the oven while Sarah got out the casserole dish still half-full of mac & cheese. The food impressed Jake even more than the house.

"What's up with this?" Jake asked, his mouth full. "Your brother makes all this food?"

"He stress-cooks. Every night he hasn't been with Dad this week, he's been in the kitchen after school. The whole fridge is full of stuff."

"I thought he was this badass."

Sarah snickered. "Has Toby been telling you stuff about him? No, he just pretends. Less and less all the time. I thought maybe he'd go back to that this week, bullying kids and being the asshole, but I actually think this prayer group Dad's doing with him is helping. Though I don't think he's telling Dad he's been praying for his boyfriend."

"So he's your dad, too?" Lauren asked. Jake and Sarah both nodded.

"Not that he's exactly a catch," Jake said. "My mom hates him. You'd think that being a cop would help her work out her aggressions, but I think it makes them worse. Sometimes I think she should be the one in therapy."

"You think you're angry because of Dad?"

Jake shrugged, taking another huge bite of pasta. "Holly says it doesn't matter all that much why I get angry. I mean, she's not that kind of therapist. We're not trying to fix the problem. She's giving me tools to help me deal."

"And it's better?" Sarah looked skeptical.

"Lots," he said, nodding. "Toby helps too, but it's mostly better because of my group online. Holly set it up for us. We talk every day. It's like, I don't know, a support group for kids she sees. It could be stupid but it's really not."

"No, I get it," Lauren said, nodding. " Isn't that why people go to church? Like-minded people together in a room on a regular basis. I do something like that too."

Sarah snorted. "Dude, I don't think most churches get together to talk about handcuffs."

Jake looked a little confused, but Lauren kicked Sarah under the table, and she put on an innocent expression.

"We're not all that like-minded, actually," Jake said. "There's a jock, and a nice kid, and one who's a drama geek, and… me, I guess I'm the weird one."

"You?" Sarah raised an eyebrow. "You're the weird one?"

"You try saying I'm a dancer in the middle of a bunch of eighth graders and see how quickly people start calling you fag," Jake said, glaring at her. "Except you're a girl, so you could totally get away with it."

"I think everybody feels like the weird one," Lauren said. "We all have things. Hidden things. Well, except Sarah."

"Yeah, I can't say I'm all that good at hiding." She nudged Jake. "So can I come play in your group? Sounds like fun. And we could talk online."

Jake shook his head. "You can't just show up. It's a secure server, Holly had it designed to meet rules about therapists online and stuff, so you need a password. And you can only be there if there's a reason. We're all in therapy for different things. It can't be just, you know, because you're bored. You need to be working something out."

Sarah crossed her arms and regarded him. "My mom died last year. I think that qualifies. Plus, all this stuff with our dad? I mean, I can't remember any of it, but from what Noah and Timmy tell me, it would definitely qualify. If I told Tatenui I wanted therapy, he'd probably let me."

Jake sighed, shaking his head, but he was grinning. "Only you would ask for something like that. I guess I could talk to Holly. She's not really taking clients anymore, though, because she's taking classes to be a teacher. She's just subbing right now."

When it came time for Lauren to take Jake over to Holly's apartment and she was putting Holly's address into her phone's GPS, Lauren paused and looked carefully at the screen. Then she said, "Huh. Looks like my address book already knows where Holly lives."

"What?" Jake squinted at at the map. "You know her?"

"No, I'm friends with her housemate. Small world, kid."

Puck said he would be home late from visiting his dad Saturday night. Kurt told him that his visits were becoming excessive, but Puck just shrugged and said, "He's working hard at this. I'm trying to make it worth it."

On Sunday morning, Finn woke up to a phone call from an unknown number. It wasn't that early, but he hadn't slept well, even after climbing into bed with Kurt in the middle of the night.

Kurt rolled over and squinted at him when he answered the phone. The light from his screen was the brightest thing in the room. Kurt liked his room dark when he slept, which might have stemmed from having his bedroom in the basement all those years.

"Hello?" Finn asked.

"Could have let it go to voice mail," Kurt grumbled, pulling the pillow closer to his ear. Finn didn't think he'd slept all that well, either.

"Finn?" asked a tentative voice.

Finn sat up, resisting the urge to pull the sheets around to cover himself.

"Ms. Pillsbury, hey. Are you — is something wrong?"

"No crises, Finn, and I'm very sorry to bother you on a weekend, but… something's come up, and Carl and I thought you might want to know. It's about Blaine."

"Blaine!" That got Kurt to sit up too. He watched Finn's face anxiously as he spoke on the phone. "What is it? Is he okay?"

"We wanted to ask you the same thing. Would you be willing to come by Carl's house this morning? I would be happy to make breakfast."

Finn felt a sense of unbalance, remembering the mornings he'd woken up at Carl's house. Each time, Angela had been there the next morning to scramble eggs and set out the morning paper. To have Ms. Pillsbury there to do the same thing would be beyond weird. But — okay, he could try to be polite. It was definitely a hundred times better than Mark being there to do that.

"Sure, I can come over," he said. To Kurt, who was looking more worried by the moment, he whispered, "She said it's not a crisis. They just want to talk."

"Excellent. Thank you, Finn. Just come over when you can. We'll be here."

Finn slid his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, stretching. "I'm going over to Carl's house." At Kurt's look, he added, "Yeah, I know, but she said it was about Blaine. I'm not sure what to expect."

"I'm going to check on Noah," Kurt said. His pajama top was, incredibly, still neatly buttoned. Finn could feel his own hair was all over the place and his boxers were hanging down around his butt. He had no idea how Kurt could get out of bed in such a state of tidiness.

But he was back less than a minute later, standing in the bathroom door with a frown while Finn brushed his teeth.

"Ut's ong?" Finn asked around his toothbrush.

"He's gone. His bed's made. Did he come home last night? I was already in bed."

Finn spit in the sink. "I'm not sure." Even as he spoke, Kurt was already getting his phone from the nightstand and texting Puck. "You know he won't answer."

"He will if I order him to," Kurt muttered. Sure enough, by the time Kurt had his checked pants on, there was already a reply to Kurt's demand.

Sorry I didnt call, I crashed on Shelbys couch. imma stay here today and come home tonight.

"He's been gone so much." Kurt looked sour, his thumbs jabbing a reply. "But I won't tell him he can't stay at Shelby's. He shouldn't have to drive to and from Akron twice in one day."

It was strange not to have Puck there for Sunday breakfast. It had become a kind of family ritual. Once RENT had finished, they'd also resumed Friday dinner and games, at least on nights without football games.

Finn thought about another ritual of theirs as he drove over to Carl's: the one where he and Kurt and Puck sat in a circle and put their heads together, their arms around one another, and just breathed each other in. They hadn't done that in a long time, not since before they'd moved into the new house. He promised himself he'd make sure they did that again soon.

He parked down the street and walked the two blocks to Carl's side entrance. The door was partway open, and as he approached, Ms. Pillsbury greeted him there and ushered him in without any delay.

"I heard you won the football game," she said. "You and Artie. Quite a team."

"He's an awesome battering ram," he agreed. "It was like it was meant to be."

"Well, I'm glad Six — Coach Beiste let you rejoin the team, and invited Artie, too." Ms. Pillsbury looked over her shoulder to Carl standing in the doorway, watching the two of them solemnly. "Finn, Carl and I went down to Java the Hut this weekend, and Blaine was there performing. We need to tell you what we saw."

Finn nodded, taking a seat at the counter in the kitchen while Ms. P served him a plate of egg casserole and potatoes. It was telling that she had leapt past the small talk so quickly. Finn felt a twisting in his gut. "Can I tell you first what happened with his dad? I don't know how clear that was the other night. I was kind of mixed up."

Carl and Ms. Pillsbury looked at one another, then nodded. Finn took them quickly through the story of being found in the house with Blaine when his father had arrived home unexpectedly, and his father's unequivocal reaction.

"He basically cut him off from all contact with us," he said. It was just as hard to tell it the fifth time as it had been the first. Carl listened with a grave face; Ms. Pillsbury's was suffused with sympathy. "Even Kurt can't get through to him, even though his dad doesn't know he's one of the boyfriends, because he took away his cell phone. Jeff — that's his roommate — I was going to have Jeff get him a disposable phone, but Jeff said he's not being himself. He doesn't think he'd even talk to me."

"All right. That does fill in another piece of the puzzle." Carl took a distracted sip of coffee. "Yesterday, Blaine was signed up to sing as usual, naming himself as Patrick on the sign-in sheet. He called us Derek and Jane when he saw us. His singing was just as it always was, Finn. But afterward, when we tried to engage him in conversation… he didn't. He wasn't responding to any of our comments about you, or mentions of your situation."

"Finn," Ms. Pillsbury said softly, "there was no recognition there. If I didn't know better, I would have said we were strangers. He was polite, but that was all."

Finn nodded slowly. "When Jeff talked to him about Kurt visiting, Jeff said he… he laughed, and said I don't have a boyfriend. Like it was a joke, and he was perfect, that everything was perfect. I thought it might be confusion, or something, but now… I don't know." He stifled a noise of anguish. "I can't see him. Maybe Jeff could send me some video of him so I can see the way he's being. Then I'd know what needed to be done, anyway, even if couldn't do it."

"It wasn't easy to watch. He's not being himself." Carl wasn't reaching for Finn or touching him in any way, but his concern blanketed Finn like insulation, making the awfulness of what they were describing seem a little less upsetting. "I'm glad there's some kind of reason, anyway. That's somewhat reassuring."

Finn ate Ms. Pillsbury's breakfast, which was delicious, while Carl finished his coffee. Ms. Pillsbury cleared the dishes away as he finished them, waiting by his elbow for him to be done. It was more distracting than the way Puck did it, which was to pick up the stacks of empties just moments before replacing them with new food on clean dishes, or the way Sarah did it, which was to sneak them away from under guests' elbows before they realized she'd even been there.

"Emma," Carl said at one point when she was in the middle of scouring the casserole dish. It took her fewer than five seconds to dry her hands and clasp them in front of herself. Carl inclined his head. "Would you please go upstairs?"

It wasn't exactly an order, but watching Ms. Pillsbury obey so promptly brought an enormous lump to Finn's throat. He had to go to the sink and refill his water glass and drink the whole thing to keep from crying. It was a stupid thing to get sentimental about. Who cared what Ms. Pillsbury was doing for Carl? He hated doing the dishes anyway.

"You're worried about your boy," Carl said softly.

He nodded without turning around. "Yeah. Of course. But he's not alone, he's got Jeff. And we'll figure this thing out, and then Kurt can go take care of him." His throat constricted again on the last words.

"Does he have a good doctor?"

"I don't know. I've never heard him talk about a doctor." He turned around reluctantly. Carl was still sitting across the kitchen. He realized he'd been half-hoping Carl would come up behind him and put his arms around him. More than half, he told himself.

"I think Blaine might need one. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I see enough clients dealing with their own forms of mental illness to recognize signs. You may not be able to help here, but… I wanted you to be aware."

"You think Blaine is sick?" Finn's memories went immediately to Puck's mother in her hospital bed, her face drawn and worried. He gripped the counter behind himself.

"I think it's possible his coping skills might not be up to the challenge of being away from the three of you. He's a very bright boy. If it comes to that, Emma and I can offer referrals to doctors in his area, but again, you may not have any say." Carl leaned forward on his elbows. "Finn…"

"I — was thinking about something," Finn interrupted. He paused, watching Carl's face, and went on after he nodded. "About… what happened with us the other day. And what we did this summer." He waited for Carl's slow nod. "I know I made this decision not to… for us not to. And I've been feeling guilty because I still want to." He blew out a breath. "I… really, really want to."

"Finn," Carl said again, but Finn pressed on.

"I realized I can't change the way I feel. I'm just going to, you know. Want you like that, kind of all the time. But I can control my actions." He was about to open his mouth and say And I'm not sure I want to do that, either, when Carl spoke up quietly.

"I asked Emma to marry me."

Finn paused with his mouth open, trying to process that quickly enough to say something that wasn't No, you can't. He shut his mouth on the reaction.

"She hasn't responded yet. I told her to take some time to think about it. But I wanted you to know, especially considering all of this, what's happening with Blaine. You might need support more than ever, and I wanted you to know it was still available, Finn. No matter what."

Finn looked at him. "She's your slave?"

"Yes," said Carl.

"And you're not having sex?"

"No. Nothing's changed. That's not what she wants from me."

"Then why —?"

Carl's face seemed resigned. "She wants children. We both do, Finn."

"But not like this!" Finn struggled to keep a handle on the volume of his voice, but he was quickly losing control. "You don't have kids with somebody you're not in love with."

He smiled curiously. "That's a very simplistic view of things, considering Puck's situation."

"That's different! You have a choice."

"That's right," said Carl firmly. "I do. We're making it. Don't misunderstand me, Finn, I'm not asking for your permission. This is our decision."

Finn shook his head. "I can't — I can't deal with this. I'm going."

Carl didn't look surprised as he watched Finn head out the door. "You can call me if you need anything."

Finn fumed the whole way home, but when he got back to the house, the first thing he did was to find Kurt. He was upstairs in his room, typing on his computer, but he put it aside immediately when he saw Finn's face.

"Oh," Kurt said unhappily, and he opened his arms.

Finn cried for a long time. It was apparently loud enough to alert his mom that something was wrong, even all the way across the expanse and around the corners of the house. She appeared in the doorway within minutes, hesitating.

"Need anything?" she asked as Finn sniffed and wiped his nose.

"It's just stuff with Carl," he said. "Nothing's changed."

His mom nodded. She looked as worried as Kurt. "Burt's at the garage. I'm heading out for a while. Did Puck take Beth back to Shelby's?"

"He said he'd be home tonight. He can't see Blaine, so his trip will be a little shorter."

When his mom had gone, Kurt turned inquiring eyes on Finn, still in his arms.

"Carl's going to marry Ms. Pillsbury," Finn said.

"Oh." Kurt blinked, taking this in. "And you… don't want him to."

"No," Finn said emphatically.

Kurt hugged him again, encouraging Finn to rest his head on Kurt's shoulder. Finn sighed and tried to relax.

"I don't want to marry him."

"I know," said Kurt.

"I don't know why I'm so upset."

"I know."

Finn scrubbed his eyes over Kurt's shoulder. "This sucks."

"I know."

"I love you, Kurt."

"I love you, too."

"I'd not-propose again to you if you need that."

He felt Kurt's smile against his neck. "No, I'm okay. I'm wearing your anklet."

"Yeah? You like it?"

"I love it, Finn. You can buy me diamonds any time."

He sat back and took Kurt's hands, looking into his face. "I think the next time I buy you diamonds, I really will be proposing."

Kurt looked up at him, his eyes glistening, and smiled breathlessly. "That's… yeah. Okay."

"I just don't want to do that for the wrong reasons. It shouldn't be because I'm desperate not to lose another person."

"I know." He touched Finn's chest, resting it over his tattoo. "You don't have to worry about that."

"I'm not really worried," said Finn, and he was surprised to realize it was true. "I'm just grateful."