Written by Stupid Studios

It was the absolute worst thing for him. The talking all around mixed in with the sound of footsteps that didn't belong to people he knew, creating a loud noise that filled his head and increased the pain he was already feeling.

Kenzaide Kanji covered his head with his arms as he laid his forehead onto the cold table within the Border base. The feeling of the hard material cooled down his head a bit, but did nothing to stop the throbbing in his head.

Then there were the things actually being said.

"Oh, he's actually quiet today. That's a relief."

"If he could be like that the entire time then he would be able to actually get somewhere here."

"I don't know. For him to be an Operator is a bit..."

"Isn't that something usually the girls do? I guess it's a good backup plan when the Engineers kick you out for being too much of an annoyance."

It brought his mood down to an all time low that made it hard for him to gather strength in his body. The pain from his head and the words coming from those around him made for a bad time overall. Even thinking of his usual saying did nothing to help his predicament.

Feeling alive really meant nothing when everything around him was criticizing him for doing so. Everywhere he saw had people judging him for his way of life, not even knowing the reason behind him doing so. The ignorance annoyed him to no end and he wished that they would all keep their mouthes shut when they only knew about what they could see and hear instead of knowing anything else about who they speaking about.

But he held back from expressing any of this.

Just let them get it all out. You'll be fine by tomorrow, so just let them all talk about whatever they want and let them make fun of you today.

That was how he would get through it all. By gritting his teeth and locking up his joints he would be able to stop himself from doing anything bad or acting out against everything they were saying about him.

...I knew I shouldn't have come out today. There wasn't any defense duty today and I knew that everyone else would be doing other things. So why did I come out here again? I wasn't thinking straight. Maybe I thought I would get back that feeling. I just wanted to feel that way again.

"But I get this crap again... This is why I just stay in my room on days like these."

"That sounds like a boring time. If you want something fun to do, just join us."

Jolting at the voice, Kanji looked up to see a familiar green looking down at him. Seeing no cigarette in the man's mouth was odd, but that was probably just because there would be no point in having it there while in a trion body and in public.

Suwa let out a puff of air that reminded him of Mitsuteru. The difference was the way they did it and the reason for doing it. It still reminded him of his teammate, though. That alone provided some comfort to him.

"You were holding onto yourself a bit too hard there, you know? You should be careful about that or else you might hurt yourself."

Kanji looked to his arm and found that it was too late. There was a nasty red mark running all along his arm with scratch marks littering his skin. The sight disgusted him, but he did nothing to hide them yet. There was no point when Suwa had already seen them himself.

Giving a small smile, he looked back up to see Suwa raising a brow at him. Behind him, the rest of Suwa Squad could be seen a few steps away. Their distance told him that they had been on their way somewhere before Suwa had walked over to him.

"Hey Kenzaide, you okay? You aren't being as loud as usual."

"Was that really the best way to put it, Hisato?"

"Huh? Oh, I guess it wasn't. But how should I have put it then? I can't really think of another way..."

"It's fine, Hisato," Kanji said with a wave. His head was hurting more than before, so he wanted the conversation to end. "I get what you mean."

And you aren't being an ass by asking it.

There was no malice in the way Hisato asked him, so it was genuine curiosity from him that calmed Kanji down a bit.

"And I'm just not feeling well today. ...I might just go home, actually."

"Well that's just boring. Your squad doesn't have anything to do today, right? Then you came here for something else, didn't you?"

"Not really. I just...wanted to get some air today. I just didn't think things would turn out like this..."

"Like what exactly?"

Kanji could feel himself start to get annoyed. Suwa Squad meant well and seemed genuinely curious, but the questions were getting to be too much for him. Everything had already built up to a point, so having them question him like this had started him up again.

So without any warning, he stood up from his seat and glared directly at Suwa.

"What the hell's it to you, eh!? Urg... Took too much energy..."

The duality of his words had thrown Suwa Squad for a loop, but the thing that concerned them most was the way Kanji had jumped up in anger to slinking down back onto the table. Both reactions were so unlike him that it could only bring confusion to all fo them.

Tsutsumi was the first to recover, moving closer until he was within arm's reach of Kanji.

"Is everything fine, Kenzaide? This doesn't sound like your usual lively self."

"Isn't that better? I'm not annoying this way."

"But it means something's going on with you, right?"

"...You can say that."

Suwa let out a puff of air and tilted his head upward. People would usually hide these things as best they can, but there was something he knew about this boy and his squad.

"We just got off defense duty, so I don't know about these guys, but I can lend an ear."

"So that's how it is..."

Kanji shrunk in his seat.

He had followed Suwa Squad to a local restaurant so they could talk without others listening in. Their orders had been placed and their drinks had come soon after. It only took a few minutes before meat had been placed at their table, ready to be served up by their own hands.

A pat from Hisato got him to straighten himself up again before taking another piece of meat from the middle of the table.

"That's," Suwa said while placing the meat on his own plate. "Pretty normal, all things considered. I really expected it to be more wild since it's coming from one of Meishō Squad's more livelier members. I only expected this from Ariake, really."

"Yeah, that makes sense. But Mitsuteru has way more average days than something like this, so I guess he still has be beat on how normal this really is."

"Doesn't mean that's a bad thing, though. Just means you're better off when it comes to feeling better."

"Even if that's true, I'll be stuck like this for the rest of the day."

Suwa snorted into his drink as Tsutsumi spoke up form next to him. Their placements made sense, but he still wondered why Osano had insisted that he be sitting between her and Hisato. Either way, it gave him a good angle to take some meat before Hisato could reach out for it.

Kanji only shrugged while taking another two pieces.

"With the way you normally are, it's good to know that you have off days. Being that energetic is all well and good, but lowering it a bit gives you a different view of things."

"I guess so. ...I just don't like how it brings down my whole mood."

"Isn't that just because of what others say?" Osano said while taking the next piece Hisato was going after.

"Let me get some already!"

Both he and Osano shrugged this time. Sometimes it was too fun to mess with Hisato.

"If you only feel pissed and sad whenever you have off days, doesn't that just mean you're bottling it up until you get days like these?" Suwa suddenly asked. He was right, but Kanji wished he wasn't. "I guess that's not really different from what a lot of people do. But I know for a fact that your squad would do something if they knew about this. So, that means you haven't said anything about it to them."

"It isn't like I haven't wanted to tell them. I just tend not to go out when I have bad days, and I'm usually busy with other things when I have energy. Rather...I just don't think about it."

Kanji lowered himself down again. He couldn't put his body on the table, so instead he slunk back down in his seat. It gave Hisato a chance to get something for himself, but that didn't matter right now. All that he could think about was how he was lacking in energy, even while he was messing around with the people to his left and right.

It had always been like this on his off days. An entire day when he was drained of energy, making way for anger and sadness to creep in instead of his usual excited demeanor. They had always been far and few in between, but they were always the worst whenever they came along. Nothing good ever came from them, so he had always made sure to stay shut up during those days, never bothering to get up to see the outside world.

His parents had worried each time this happened, but they understood well enough. There was always preparations for when it came up and when it would go by. It made the entire situation more manageable when he knew that it was only a passing thing.

But there was still something wrong about it.

"I was just pointing something out. I'd say to let them know about it, but that's up to you."

"No... I understand that much. I'll give it a try, but..."

"Not all of them at once, right?"

Kanji nodded, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to handle that instantly. His usually energetic self meant that this came up a lot less. There was no reason for all of them to know at once.

That meant he had to think of what to do about this.

"Just tell each one of them whenever it comes up. One at a time, whenever you have an off day," Osano said while taking another piece of meat from Hisato.

By this point, even Kanji was starting to feel sorry for Hisato. Lifting himself up a bit more, he took another piece of meat and put it on Hisato's plate himself. He could a hear a small "Fun's over" from his left, but he thought nothing of it.

"I guess that works. Then who would I tell first?"

"Isn't that based on who you trust the most? Or whoever you feel most comfortable with," Tsutsumi said.

"Probably your captain or Asagi, right? I wouldn't think Shigenaga would be a good first choice for this," Suwa added.

From his left, Kanji could see the way Hisato stopped for a moment, tilted his head, then made an "O" expression. He had come to the same realization as Kanji did, which made his choice even easier than he had originally thought.

"If I'm being completely honest... I think I'll let Mitsuteru know first."

The spit take that followed was amazing. Suwa began coughing after lowering his cup. This got Tsutsumi to start patting his back while holding out his hand.

Suwa's glare could be seen by all of them a he pulled out a wallet. Without any hesitation he placed some money in Tsutsumi's waiting hand.

"...You forget Ariake-senpai existed, didn't you, Suwa-san?" Hisato asked with a blank stare.

It made sense. There was a certain point when people would begin forgetting about Mitsuteru, so Kanji understood that Hisato's reaction had referred to that. It was only further proven when Suwa's glare turned to his youngest teammate.

Kanji gave him credit for his response by placing another piece of meat on Hisato's plate.

"But why him?" Osano asked while pushing her plate forward.

Kanji could only shrug.

"Out of our entire squad, he has the most...down to earth feel to him. Our captain is pretty good with these sorts of things, and Shinichi is like our own anti-depressant, but the two of them feel like they would really go out of their way for this. Mitsuteru feels like it would only come naturally for him to do something about this. Rather...he wouldn't push me or himself to do something about this situation."

"So his normal personality is better suited for you than the others? That sounds about right."

Kanji could only nod in agreement.

When he thought more about it, things had worked out well enough during the day. Most of it had been used for sulking or getting angry with the people around him, but his time with Suwa Squad here had led to something new while also helping him maintain his cool here.

Even if it wasn't the best time for him, the day had turned out to not be as bad as he had thought.