Prompt: Anger born from worry

Technoblade was pretty sure that what he was going through had to be comparable to what humans called an existential crisis.

He might be the first of his species to ever get to experience one of those, which, yeah okay that checked out he always had been built different. But also this was not something he ever wanted to have to deal with. A mermaid's life in the river was easy - uncomplicated.

You ate and you slept and you did some random but inconsequential crap in your free time that never mattered and carried little meaning. Techno farmed potatoes, for goodness sake. He didn't even eat them, he just wanted to keep busy. It was fun.

After he had been caught, all his mental and physical energy had been delegated to survival. There was no room for anything else.

Part of him felt like he knew Phil wasn't going to kill him for a while already. Maybe he hadn't been ready to face it consciously yet, but Techno knew Phil's behavior wasn't adding up if he was really the same as his previous owners. He'd been too caught up in all the other things going on to accept it and the deeper meaning.

That if this was true and Phil truly only wanted to help him, he'd be able to return to his old life soon.

Or maybe not his old life exactly, but a life of freedom. He could even return to the river.

And because Techno was such a normal and totally sane person, obviously that meant his brain had to now start revolting at the idea.

Revolting might be a bit of a dramatic way to put it, but the thought of going back out into the wild certainly didn't carry the appeal it used to. Techo had always held onto the idea that he could return because it was one of the only things giving him hope, giving him the power to keep fighting. Until recently though, he'd never really stopped to actually think about how bleak it would be. To have to go into some river without his family and try to rebuild everything he once had from scratch.

At least in the pond, he had company.

Phil's surprise turned out to be a manmade pool of about forty-five square feet and which was deep enough that a human could probably swim in it. Techno had been absolutely stunned because he had no idea people could just make stuff like that on a whim. What the heck!

Maybe Phil was also built different.

The man had put some sort of padding in the bottom and sides that served to artificially heat the water and circulate oxygen. As far as mermaid enclosures went, it was the height of luxury.

And Techno was really, really trying to hate it.

"It'll probably be fine for a little while, right?" Phil had asked at first. "Until you can leave."

"It's good enough," Techno had answered, diving down until he was sure Phil couldn't even see him from the surface. This new setup did make it even easier to hide. There were plenty of plants, all different types. And two caves. Techno had all the space in the world to do whatever he wanted in.

Phil went inside and he was left alone.

Truly alone, because he couldn't even peer through the glass walls to see what the others were up to. If he swam up and grabbed the edges of the rocks that made up the perimeter of the pond, Techno could just barely try to look over and see the house. Sometimes, Wilbur and Phil, and Tommy came out into the garden. But sometimes they didn't. When they did, they usually came to talk to him. But when they were inside, Techno could see the fire burning, could see the flickering light behind window panes.

He wasn't cold and yet still he shivered.

This was stupid. He had to be some kind of ungrateful idiot to miss that silly box after they went through all this trouble to make him a pond.

He let go of the rocks and fell back into the water. Swimming was easier thanks to Phil's ointment. Techno didn't need them anymore.

They put him outside. They must not need him anymore either. Or want him. Or whatever.

His head hurt.

Techno went down to sleep.

Three days passed and things were… fine. They were still just fine.

Techno hadn't grown to like the pond any more or miss the aquarium any less, so there was that. He knew he'd been a bit grumpy in the direct aftermath of his kidnapping and subsequent rescue, he hadn't expected that meant the others thought he should be left completely alone. Techno always considered himself an introvert (and he still did) but something about his current living arrangements was making him feel restless.

Lonely, his mind ever so helpfully supplied.

He was lonely.

Once again it was late evening and Techno was watching the house. He could see Wilbur moving around inside, his shadow cast in front of the window when he walked past the fire. Tommy was probably on the couch, Phil would be in his armchair.

Techno really hated them.

He hated them and he hated this and he wanted to tell them because honestly after all he had to put up with because of them the least they could do was hear him out while he yelled.

Jup, that was totally the rational part of his brain making decisions for him.

His fingers were holding onto the rocks and carefully, Techno pulled himself up. It was kinda hard though because it was an uneven surface, and his hands were cut into by the sharp jagged edges. By the time he was on dry land, his palms stung and when Techno held them in front of his face he squinted at the blood on them.

Smart. Really, he was such a genius.

Because now he also had to drag himself all the way to the house. By human standards, it wasn't a lot. Phil crossed that distance in ten paces. For Techno, it seemed like an almost insurmountable distance. Or at the very least something that would take him a while, dragging over the ground as he had to. Not only was it a lot further than the small distance he'd traveled along the table, there were also plants and rocks and other things. He hesitated.

This was his last chance to turn back and get into the water again.

He could hear music playing from inside the house.

Techno sighed and started pushing onward. He wasn't as sick anymore, which would be his one saving grace. Not entirely recovered, he still got tired a bit quicker than he was used to and perhaps that would never fully go away. At least he'd survive this ordeal.

Well, if he didn't dry up before he reached the door.

Halfway there, Techno had to pause for a bit. He rolled onto his back, staring at the dark sky above. The stars were pretty, but he still missed the ceiling of Phil's house. The music was a little louder now. He wished he was inside and not out here, being pathetic.

The cold air made him shiver.

After a few minutes, Techno rolled over again to resume his journey. The closer he got, the more he started to realize he had not thought this through properly because what would he even do when he got to the door? It wasn't exactly like Techno could knock. And there probably wasn't a gap big enough under the door for him to slip through. Crap, he was starting to feel like even more of an idiot than he already did.

In what was either a blessing or a curse, Techno did not have to wallow in that particular strain of self-pity for too long. Because when he was almost there, the door opened on its own.

Phil stepped outside. He was carrying some sort of bowl.

Techno rolled away from the foot that nearly came down on him and screeched. This time it was not so much an instinctual reaction as him considering this was probably the only noise Phil would be able to hear from him, since it carried much better than Techno's normal talking would. And true to word, Phil flinched back as the sharp sound pierced his ears.

"What the fu-" A few stumbling steps, then Phil looked down at him.

Techno waved.

"What the fuck," Phil repeated (not very eloquently, heh). Hurriedly he put the bowl down and cupped his hands to pick Techno up instead. "Mate, what are you doing?!"

He sounded angry.

Huh…

Grabbing Phil's thumb to brace himself - not because he was scared Phil would drop him but merely because it made him feel more secure - Techno tried to explain. Even if his thoughts which had seemed so rational to him before had stopped making sense about a minute ago. "I wanted to come out and see you guys," he said.

Phil looked even more pissed. "What? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was, I could have stepped on you, Techno?! Why the fuck would you do that, you're going to make me think you have a death wish."

"Very funny," Techno deadpanned back, but Phil looked the furthest thing from amused. At the human's facial expression not changing at all, he swallowed. "Look, sorry that I didn't think it'd be a big deal, okay? It's kinda cringe to be stuck outside while you guys get to have fun in there."

And those words did make Phil's eyes soften. He shifted Techno to be cradled in one hand and bent down to pick the bowl up again. It was full of small cut-up pieces of fish. Probably what he'd meant to give Techno for dinner.

"Next time when you're lonely, just tell us," Phil said.

"I'm not lonely," Techno answered. He had no dignity left to save.

"Do you want to go inside?" Phil asked.

Techno looked away. "Well, since I came all this way already we might as well."

Phil could always put him back in the pond by morning.