Addison

I wake up rolling over and my bare back brushes against someone else's. I close my eyes, pulling the covers over my face before I sigh whispering to myself, "Oh no, what did I do?"

I slowly pull the covers off and opened my eyes to see who's in bed next to me when I hear a grunt. I think I woke him up… We both sit up and I turned around to see that not only is it not a man, it's Meredith Grey.

"Oh my god," she says covering her mouth.

I nod, "Oh my god is right."

We look at each other stunned for a moment before we burst out in laughter. When I finally catch my breath, I ask, "Do you remember anything?"

"I, uh—," she thinks to herself, "I remember the reception and you being at the bar after Amelia left with Owen for their honeymoon. I came over to get the full story about how you got Carolyn to the wedding but that's it."

"Wow, well, I don't know what to say," I shake my head.

She shrugs, "You don't have to say anything. We're just two friends who had a little too much to drink and ended up having sex."

"Yeah, nothing to stress about," I nod looking around the room, "by the looks of it, we had fun… wow, I haven't had sex with a woman since college. How'd we get into a hotel room? Where are the kids?"

We both grab our phones and Meredith speaks up first, "They're at home with Maggie."

My phone buzzes and buzzes again before I'm able to respond to the first one. It causes Meredith to look over, "Is everything okay?"

"It's Callie, I was supposed to be at her place an hour ago," I sigh getting up to get dressed.

Meredith does so too but looks over at me, "Go ahead to Callie's. I've got the kids."

"Really?" she nods, "Thanks Meredith."

After we both get dressed, I notice Meredith has gone a little quiet and it makes me nervous so I ask, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing… Well, it's something," she says then goes over to sit on the bed, "okay, well, I mean, we slept together so I guess there's no point in beating around the bush anymore. We might as well be open with each other."

"Meredith, you're freaking me out. Just say it already," I plead.

She nods then sighs running her hand through her hair, "It's just that… the other day on our way to the rehearsal dinner, Henry asked Zola about the sky people… He said you told him his dad wasn't coming home because he was in the sky now… Addison… Jake died?"

I knew this would happen sooner or later but I didn't think now and especially not with Meredith Grey. I wipe away the tears that welled up in my eyes before they have a chance to fall. I refuse to cry now.

"I'm sorry. I can't… Meredith—" I force out.

She just nods, "I'm sorry for bringing it up… It's just… it seems as though Henry doesn't fully understand."

"I'll talk to him," I nod still wiping away unshed tears, "I, uh, I'm going to head over to Callie's now. Could you let my babies know I love them?"

"Of course… And Addison? I'm always here to talk if you need," she stands up from her spot on the bed.

I nod heading out the door and I force a smile, "Thanks, Meredith."

I basically run to my car and take off down the street… I don't know what I'm doing. My husband died and I take off, leaving our home for a place in my past… And once I get here, I screw everything up by sleeping with my dead ex-husband's wife. Am I insane? I have to be insane. I really need to get to Callie's before I actually lose my mind.

I can't believe she found out about Jake… I can't believe that I slept with her… Maybe there's some other explanation to this? I think to myself as some memories of last night started to come back to me.

"Addison…" Meredith slurred out, "I'm so sorry for the stupid slutty prom sex. I know you probably still hate me for that. I'm sorry."

"Me too," I laughed obviously drunk out of my mind, "I was starting to actually like you, well, I've always liked you… and I don't hate you… I just, I… what was I saying?"

"You like me," Meredith beamed like a child and moved closer to me.

"Right," I say proudly, "I like you. You are what I like."

"I like you too," she says hugging me then picking up the bottle in front of us, "More Tequila?"

I shake away the memory as I pull into Callie's complex. I'm at her door and it only takes a few seconds for her to open it. She lets me inside closing it behind us before crossing her arms and saying, "You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry. I can explain," I say and she looks at me tapping her foot as if telling me to 'fess up'. I swallow hard, "I, uh, I had a little too much to drink last night and I woke up in bed with Meredith Grey."

"What?! Oh my god," she says as her face drops then lights up again as she screams, "Oh my god! Addison! I thought you weren't into girls."

"I'm not. We were drunk, Callie. She doesn't even remember it," I shake my head at her as she smiles.

I watch a smirk grow upon her lips, "Do you remember any of it?"

"Eh," I shrug, "bits and pieces have started to come back to me."

"Was it good?" she grins.

I think to myself, "From what I can remember it was great but there's a bigger issue here."

"Okay, what's that?" she says sitting down next to me.

I look over to her, "She knows about Jake."

"You told her?" Callie looks shocked then looks at me with pity in her eyes, "Poor drunk Addie."

"No," I choke out trying to hold back tears as Callie holds onto me softly. I rest my head on her chest as I let my tears fall, "She overheard Henry talking to Zola about it in the car. It turns out that he doesn't really understand that—"

"That he isn't coming back," she finishes for me and I can't help but burst into tears, "Oh, Addie…"

"I don't know how to do this, Callie," I cry out.

She shakes her head, "Neither do I. Sofia was just a baby when Mark died. Did you ask Meredith how she explained Derek's death to Zola?"

All of this talk of death makes me cry even more, "Every man that I've ever loved died… is it me?"

"No, honey, it isn't you. I know it feels as though the universe is out to get you but I swear it isn't. I just started to realize that myself," she says.

I shake my head, "No, God definitely hates me."

"God doesn't hate you, sweetie. You save babies for God's sake," she chuckles and it makes me laugh a little too.

I sit up wiping my eyes, "Thanks, Callie… I'm supposed to be comforting you."

"We've both had tragedies but that doesn't mean we can't still be each other's rock," she smiles.

I nod, "You're right."

"When am I not?" she giggles.

I shake my head looking around the room, "You don't have Sofia today?"

"Actually, she asked to go over to Meredith's house to play with her new friend, Henry. Apparently, she couldn't stop talking about him since the rehearsal dinner," she winks at me laughing then says, "so I'll get her tomorrow. It seems as though we need to make this a personal day for us anyway. We could go to the spa or shopping. I know how much you love to shop."

So that's what we do… We shop until we literally can't anymore… feet hurting, arms tired of carrying bags and just physically exhausted all together. We leave the mall and head over to the spa for massages, mani/pedis, facials and hair. I'm getting mine cut a little shorter and Callie's getting highlights.

We're in the middle of our facials when Callie asks me about L.A. and if I actually liked it there. I know this isn't really what she wants to know so I sit up taking the cucumber off my eyes, "What are you getting at?"

"Oh, okay, fine, I just wanted to know what your plan was… are you going back to L.A.? Going home to Connecticut? Or staying in Seattle? You know I'd love it if you stayed in Seattle. I've missed my best friend," she confesses.

I sigh, "I don't know. L.A. doesn't feel right without Jake but I had a life there. I started my family there… but I have family here in Seattle too."

"Have you asked Henry? I realize now that before I plan to move to the other side of the country, I need to at least ask first. I didn't ask Sofia nor Arizona… I went about it all the wrong way," she sighs shaking her head.

I look over to her and I suddenly realize how much I suck, "No, I didn't ask Henry. God, I'm awful."

"You're not awful. You just panicked and left. There was a good reason behind it," she sighs, "Baby, you lost your husband."

"Please don't remind me… It's only been a week and I've screwed up so much… I haven't even planned the funeral. Angela, you know his daughter, is flying into L.A. this upcoming Wednesday to help plan his funeral which is supposed to be this Saturday," I sigh lying back down in my chair, "I can't do it."

"Yes, you can," she holds my hand, "and I'll be there every step of the way."

"We, uh," Meredith looks at me giggling as she grabs onto my side, "we need a room."

"How many nights?" the man at the counter looks over us and forces a smile.

Meredith looks to me and I just shrug then she turns back to him, "Just one."

"Okay," he says typing up some things as Meredith's hand slowly makes its way up my dress.

I moan then I gasp at myself shocked. I look at the man behind the counter, "Hurry."

"Sorry, ma'am," he starts typing faster and then finally stands up, "How'd you like to pay for the room?"

"Here," Meredith hands him her card with her free hand as the other moves down grazing my stomach down to my pantyline.

I try hard not to moan and I whisper out, "Meredith…"

"Here you go," the man hands her back her card and the hotel key, "Room 304."

"Thanks," Meredith says as I take her hand out of my dress and pull her down the hallway.

We stumble into the elevators and the moment the door closes, we're back at each other's mouths. We don't pull away from each other when the doors open again nor do we as we stumble down the hall to our room. She slams me against the door as she tries to get the key into the door. It opens up and we both fall onto the floor still not moving our lips from each other.

"Addison," Callie brings me out of my thoughts. They just finished with her makeup but I got done a few minutes ago so I was waiting on her in the lobby. She walks up to me, "So how do I look?"

"Flawless," I smile up at her as I stand up meeting her at her side as we walk out of the building. It's getting a little late in the evening.

She looks at the time, "Okay, so we look great. We have to at least go out to eat. I'm sure you don't want to go out for drinks after last night."

"Ha, very funny," I say sarcastically, "but you're right. I don't want anything to drink for awhile now… However, I am starving."

"Perfect, I know this amazing Italian place," she smiles as we hop into her car.

The drive to the Italian place wasn't long. We pull up outside of The Pink Door or what Callie deems 'the best place for Italian food in Seattle'. We sit outside where there's a view of the harbor. It's beautiful at sunset… The waiter comes out and I just order water.

Apparently, my mind is not here because Callie pulls me out of my thoughts, "What's up? You've been quiet."

"It's just that… the memories of last night… I'm so embarrassed… I remember telling Meredith that I liked her… at the bar… in the middle of the reception… I just pray that we weren't all over each at the bar," I say shaking my head, "but I have this god-awful feeling that we were. I'm sure all the guests saw us."

Callie just laughs, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh… It's just, damn Addie. You were really getting it last night."

"I'm so ashamed," I shake my head laughing.

She clears her throat, "So you like Meredith?"

"No," I say, "well at least not like that… She thought I hated her and I told her that I didn't… That's all it meant. Nothing more."

"Obviously it was something more… you guys ended up sleeping together," she says as the waiter walks up with our drinks asking if we're ready to order.

I speak up first, "I'll take a small Insalata Misticanza and the Chicken Saltimbocca."

"Can I have the Lava Lake Lamb Ossobuco?" she says pointing to it on the menu.

He nods taking up our menus and letting us know he'd be back with our food. Callie looks to me and smirks… I already know what she's going to say…

"You know, there's no problem in liking Meredith Grey," she giggled.

I roll my eyes, "Oh shut up… What are you? 12? You're not going to let me live this one down, are you?"

"Nope," she smiles shaking her head.

The rest of the dinner went by pretty quickly… We mostly talked about the kids and what she should do about her ex-girlfriend, Penny. Apparently, they grew pretty close over the past year and Penny moved here to Seattle for Callie. When the time came for Callie to follow Penny, she was going to but then she lost Sofia… Then after that, things sort of started going downhill. She admitted that her resentment towards Penny was wrong but these few weeks without her, her feelings for Arizona have started to surface again and now she's conflicted. I didn't know what to tell her other than to talk to Arizona… Maybe she still has some underlying feelings too?

I'm driving back to Meredith's now but I'm dreading going. I know she just shrugged it off this morning and we agreed that it was nothing but it's been a whole day. What if she has started to remember things as well? Are things just going to be even more awkward between us now? Oh god, and I'm sure Maggie knows as well… I mean, how else would she have gotten hold of the kids… I'm just afraid that everyone knows and we won't be able to put it past us.

"Wow, I can't believe you actually got Carolyn on the plane," she laughs taking a sip of her drink.

I laugh to myself not actually believing it either. The conversation went dry after that… I try not to make it awkward by continuing to talk, "So what are you drinking?"

"Tequila," she answers shrugging, "it's my go-to drink."

"I've never tried it," I reply.

Her face drops, "What? You've never had Tequila before? Like ever?"

"Nope," I say shaking my head, "my family are more of Gin type people."

"Oh wow," she says laughing at me, "we're so taking your Tequila vcard tonight."

"Oh what the heck… Why not?" I shrug.

Meredith waves the bartender down, "I've got a Tequila virgin right here so I'm going to need salt, a tray of limes, two shots of Tequila and keep them coming."

"Coming right up," he says as he disappears behind the bar coming back with a tray of lime slices, a salt shaker and sitting two shot glasses down on the table before filling them up with Tequila.

Meredith arranges everything then she looks to me, "Okay first. You need to wet your hand."

She licks her hand and after a little hesitation, I lick mine too. Then she grabs the salt pouring it into her hand, "Then you pour the salt and grab the lime with your salty hand."

"Like this?" I say picking up the lime after I poured the salt.

She laughs a little, "You may want to hold it with your thumb and index finger or it'll be a little too hard to do it quickly."

"Do what quickly?" I ask.

She giggles, "You'll see. Okay, now that your salt and lime are ready. Pick up your shot glass with your other hand."

I do as she says and I look on waiting for the next instructions. She smirks, "Okay, so you're going to lick the salt, take the shot and then squeeze the lime into your mouth right after? Okay? Salt, shot, lime; in that order."

"Salt, shot, lime, okay," I nod then I repeat it again in my head.

She looks at me smiling, "Okay, you ready?"

"I guess it's now or never," I shrug.

She giggles, "Okay, let's take it together. After 3. Okay, one, two, three."

"God, that burns," I exclaim after I finish my shot.

Meredith smirks up at me, "Exactly… Now it takes me at least seven shots to really get drunk so we can take it slow if you need, newbie."

"Is that a challenge, Meredith Grey?" I smirk back.

I sigh stepping out of my car and going up to Meredith's door. After a few knocks, Maggie, with a crying Ellis on her hip, opens up the door. She forms this awkward grin on her face once she realizes it's me.

"I almost thought you left us here with the kids and wasn't ever coming back," she jokes as she closes the door behind us.

The twins run up to me in their pajamas and I take them both in a big hug, "Oh, you know I could never be away from my kids for too long… How were they?"

"They were perfect little angels… I swear, your kids are the sweetest," she beams.

I smile proudly as they take back off to the playroom, "Thanks and thank you so much for watching them."

"Oh no problem… You and Meredith really were in no-state-whatsoever to take care of kids last night," she smirks.

I shake my head embarrassed, "Just please, don't tell me we did anything inappropriate at the bar."

"My lips are sealed… Just know, I had to force you two away from the bar then Meredith got the bright idea to get a room," she looks to Ellis for a second, "so sorry about that."

"I'm just glad you got us away from doing any further damage in public," I say sighing, "Where is Meredith anyway?"

"She was called in for an emergency surgery about thirty minutes ago so you just missed her," she says walking towards the couch with Ellis, "Oh, I put Everett down about an hour ago. He's asleep upstairs in Ellis's crib."

"Thank you, Maggie, really. I appreciate everything you've done," I smile.

She doesn't take her eyes from the baby, "Really, no problem."

"Okay," I nod walking up the stairs and into Ellis's room where I find my baby sound asleep.

I kiss him on the head softly so I wouldn't wake him then I make my way down the hall to my bedroom. I change into something more comfortable and the thought of Henry not understanding the finality of Jake's death just popped into my brain. I sigh knowing that there's never going to be a good time to explain it to him so why not now.

I make my way downstairs to the playroom and I scoop up little Henry in my arms. He holds onto me tightly and I smile, "Hey, little guy. Me and you are going to talk for a second… Is that okay?"