Henry
"Daddy? Is that you?" I reach out in the darkness. I hear screams coming from all directions but I know I heard my Daddy's voice out there.
I cautiously take a step forward into the unknown. That's when I hear him again, "Henry!"
"Daddy!" I call out running towards the sound of his voice.
It feels like there's no end… I just keep running through the darkness listening out for his voice but I don't hear him anymore. I stop in my tracks hoping that it was just the sound of my footsteps overpowering the sound of his voice.
It's quiet now and I still don't hear him… I call out again, "Daddy?"
I start to hear a low growl… It sounds like it's getting louder… maybe even closer? I take a few steps back in the other direction before I realize that I have no idea where I am. The growling is getting louder and louder with every step I take.
That's when I hear him again, "Run, Henry!"
I take off running with no direction in sight. It doesn't seem to help. It sounds like the growling is only getting closer. I have to run faster… I scream out in fear, "Daddy!"
"Henry! Henry…"
"Henry! Henry," a voice calls out while I'm being shaken awake. I open my eyes to Sofia and Zola staring down at me. I'm scared at first but then I smile after realizing it was them.
I sit up looking around the room and I see it's mostly empty, "Where's everybody else?"
"Everyone's downstairs," Zola says.
Sofia nods, "Um hum, my mama's cooking breakfast."
"Oh," I say with a yawn. I stretch then I get up from the bed following them downstairs and outside to the back where all of my friends are playing.
Last night, I had friends from two different states all in my house. It was so cool cause I really missed them. I asked Mommy and she said they could all stay the night so we had a sleepover. We stayed up late, watched movies and inducted my friend Lucas into the Dead Dad's Club. His daddy died a long time ago from a heart attack when he fell off a cliff… The doctors weren't able to save his daddy either… Why even have doctors if they're just going to let all of our daddies die? I don't understand.
Today is not going to be a good day. I just woke up and although the sun is shining brightly in the sky, I can tell already that something is off about today.
Today is my daddy's funeral.
"Henry!" I hear a voice call out. I turned around to see one of Auntie Lottie's daughters… There's three of them and they all have the same face! My mommy says that they're triplets which are like my twin sisters but instead there's three of them instead of two. Sometimes, when I hang around the triplets long enough, I can tell them apart but it's been a few weeks since we last saw each other.
I smile and wave back, "Hi, um, Georgia?"
"Nooo," she giggles as I walk up closer to her.
She smiles up at me, "You get one more guess!"
"Uh," I think. She's either Caroline or Rachel. It can't be this hard… "you're Rachel?"
"No, silly," she laughs again.
I smile slightly embarrassed. I should know this. Caroline is wearing blue… I won't forget again, "Caroline."
"Henry," she smiles, "do you wanna play catch with me? Rachel and Georgia is playing with Lucas and your new brother, Bailey."
"Who told you Bailey was my brother?" I ask as I extend my arms open.
She throws the ball to me, "Zola told me while we were playing dolls last night. She said that you guys are sharing moms. That would make you guys brothers and sisters, right?"
"Oh, I guess so," I smile slightly while catching the ball.
Grayson, my Auntie Omi's son, walks up to us, "Could I play catch with you guys?"
"Yeah, sure," I said while nodding and tossing the ball to him.
He throws the ball to Caroline and she throws it back it me. We continue like this for awhile until I hear my name being called from the inside. On my walk back inside, I pass Lucas, Bailey, Georgia and Rachel racing across the sand. I see Mason and Betsey playing in the water and Sofia, Zola and Olivia are building a sandcastle. I want to have fun too but I'm too sad. I miss my daddy.
I walk inside and I see Parker and Peggy on the couch watching TV and all the adults are in the kitchen. Auntie Melia comes up to me and scoops me up from the floor, "Hey, little guy. Your mommy says it's time to start getting ready."
"Okay," I say laying my head down on her chest.
She lifts my chin up so she can look me in the eyes, "What's wrong, baby boy?"
"I had a bad dream," I shrug looking down to the floor.
She carries me up the stairs, "What was your dream about?"
"Daddy was in it. He was in a really dark place and I could hear him but I couldn't see him. I tried to get to him and then a monster started chasing me," I sigh.
Auntie Melia walks into my old room and sits me down on the bed. The bed is the only thing left of mine here so it doesn't really feel like my room anymore. Mommy packed up all of our things during the move.
"My dad died too… Actually, I was your age. I was five and I saw my dad get shot because some really bad guys wanted his stuff. Does that sound familiar to you?" she asks me.
I nod, "Yeah… My daddy was shot because some bad guys wanted his stuff too…"
"Yeah, well," she says as she opened my suitcase taking out one of my special suits, "Sweetie, I wish I could tell you that the pain will go away… Still to this day, it hurts… As time goes by, yeah, you'll start to feel a little better… You'll have less nightmares… You won't be sad everyday… You'll learn how to carry that pain and use it for good. For instance, I became a doctor so I can save people and honor my dad's death."
"But the doctors… they didn't save my daddy… They didn't save Lucas's or Sofia's or Zola's either…" I pout.
She bends down so we are at eye level, "Then you grow up and be a better doctor so you can save someone else from feeling the way you and I do now."
"Okay," I nod as she goes into the ensuite bathroom and starts my bath water, "Auntie Melia?"
"Yes, baby?" she calls out from the bathroom.
I stand up and walk towards her, "What's the funeral going to be like?"
"Oh, um," she says kneeling down in front of me, "I'm not going to lie to you…"
"Okay," I say knowing that she wouldn't. That's why I ask her things… Mommy says she has no filter so she says whatever is on her mind. She says at least that makes her honest.
She runs her hands through her hair and sighs, just like my mommy does, "Well, Henry… It's going to be a little scary at first. It'll be a bunch of people that you don't know and they'll all be crying. You may even hear some laughter that turns into crying… It's just going to be a lot of crying. In the beginning, they're going to bring your dad inside in his casket… Do you know what that is?"
"I read about it in a book," I shrug.
She nods, "Well, yeah… they're going to place him in the front of the church and I know it's going to be extremely weird for you… Try not to freak out, okay?"
"Okay," I say but I'm already freaking out.
She continues, "People will be getting up and making speeches about how great your dad is and it may make people cry even more. In the end, they're going to carry him out to the cemetery and that's when the burial service starts. That's when they're going to put your dad into the ground and it's going to hurt like crazy because that's when you realize that you'll never actually see him again."
"Auntie…" I call out to her as tears well up in my eyes. She picks me up and I wrap my arms around her neck laying on her shoulder.
She rubs circles on my back as she stands up from the floor with me in her arms, "I'm so sorry, little guy. I'm so sorry. It isn't fair that you have to go through something like this so young. You still need your daddy and it doesn't matter who comes into your life now. They'll never replace your dad."
We walk into the bathroom and she turns off the bath water. I guess it's time for me to get in. She puts me down on the floor and I begin to undress. I step into the tub and I emerge myself within the warm water. I frown but I turn to Auntie Melia curiously and ask, "What happens after the burial service?"
"After that," she says picking up my washcloth and handing to me while she grabs the shampoo, "everyone goes back to the church to eat. Even after eating at the church, everyone will probably come back to your house and eat and drink because that's how a lot of people deal with grief."
"Oh… and that's it?" I say as I start washing my arms and legs.
Auntie Melia rubs the shampoo into my hair then she nods, "Yeah, baby. That's about it."
"Thanks for telling me," I say as I go back to washing.
When were all finished, Auntie Melia gives me a towel to dry off then she helps me get dressed. I look at myself in the mirror. Auntie says I look like a handsome little man. Mommy always calls me her little man… but right now I don't feel like it. I feel… I feel sad because I'm never going to see my daddy again.
"Are you ready?" Auntie Melia asks me as she reaches out her hand to me. I take it in mine and I let her lead me down the stairs.
When I got downstairs, I notice all the adults are wearing black. I look up at Auntie and I notice she's wearing all black too. I don't see my mommy anywhere so I stretch up towards my auntie. She lifts me up into her arms and I lay my head on her chest. I whisper into her ear, "Why is everybody wearing black?"
"It's just something people do when they're grieving," she said rubbing circles on my back.
The front door opens and I see my sister, Angela. I don't see her often because she travels a lot but she always brings us back gifts from all the countries she visits. I can see on her face that she isn't here today to bring presents. She's here because our daddy died… She's sad and I'm sad too. I reach out for her and she takes me in her arms. She keeps whispering in my ear that everything will be okay. It doesn't feel like it though.
I see my mom come down the stairs wearing black as well. The twins are walking behind her but they have on white dresses… My mommy doesn't stop and say anything to anybody. She just walks out the front door and everyone follows. When we get outside, I see two black limos and two policemen on motorcycles. My mom, Auntie Melia, Angela, the twins, Everett and I get into one. I watch as everyone else gets into their own cars then we take off down the street.
It's silent and Mommy stares out the window the entire ride to the church. Auntie Melia held her hand the whole way but I don't even know if she noticed. When we got out of the limo, there are even more people here than there was at our house these past couple of days. My daddy was a doctor so a lot of his patients came. It kind of made me feel a little better knowing how many people cared about my dad… It also made me kind of even more sad knowing that I couldn't tell my daddy how proud of him I was.
It's super quiet when we walk into the church. We sit in the front row and it scares me a little knowing my daddy is in the casket right in front of us. The cover is closed but still I know he's right there yet he isn't at all. I'm glad Auntie Melia told me what it was going to be like before we came. It made the ceremony a little easier to get through.
I'm not really sure what happened next because I was crying the whole time. In the end, we walked back to the limo and we rode in silence again to the cemetery. Not everyone from earlier came to the burial service but there was still A LOT of people. Mommy, Angela, the twins and I all put white roses on my daddy's casket and I cried even harder when they lowered him into the ground because I knew this would be the last time I'd be this close to him. At the end, we all used a special shovel and one at a time, we got some dirt and threw it unto the casket. By then, I was all out of tears and I felt kind of sick.
Auntie Melia carried me back to the limo and once again, we rode in silence back to the church. This time we went downstairs to the kitchen area and there was a huge buffet. I didn't feel like eating but Auntie said I had to if I wanted to feel better.
At least it's not quiet anymore… Everyone's eating and talking… some people are laughing, some are crying but at least they're not silent. I haven't heard my mommy speak since yesterday… She made a plate but she isn't eating. She's just swishing it around on her plate. Why do I have to eat but she doesn't?
I can tell she doesn't want to be here just as much as I don't. I pull on her dress to get her attention then I whisper in her ear asking if we can leave. She just nods and we get up walking outside to the parking lot. Everyone's inside now so it's quiet outside. I could tell my mommy needed to get away from everyone. She didn't look like herself.
We don't go back to the house immediately but when we do, a bunch of people come over with a whole bunch of food. I wouldn't understand because we just ate. Luckily, Auntie Melia explained to me that people eat a lot when they're sad. My mommy doesn't eat at all though. As soon as we got home, she changed clothes and threw the dress she was wearing into the trash. I want to do the same but I don't know why. I just feel like I should. Maybe my mommy seeing me in this after today would make her too sad? I run up to my room quickly and I try changing out of my suit but there's too many pieces. I just give up and I lie down on my bed while tears start to form in my eyes again.
I thought I was done crying. I'm crying so hard I don't even hear my door open. I hear my mommy's voice, "Oh, Henry."
"Mommy," I cry. She helps me get out of my suit and then lies down with me on the bed.
She strokes my hair until I fall asleep. She whispers, "I love you, Henry."