Chapter 32 Painful Goodbyes (Christian's POV)

Author's Note: Well, folks, we are at the end. This is the last chapter before the epilogue, which will be set in December 2021, almost four years after the end of this chapter. In this final chapter, there are a few time jumps, so pay attention to the dates so you don't get confused. Sometimes, it's a week later, sometimes it's a month later, and sometimes, it's just the next day. It's all chronological from September to November, except for one flashback that I purposefully put close to the end.

This is a sad chapter, so grab some tissues. It's also a very revealing chapter, finally letting the cat on the bag about whodunit to the wicked witch, if you remember that detail. This is HEA, of course, so the epilogue will be a joyous celebration of Christian and Ana's 5th year wedding anniversary. No more tears by then.

First, we're jumping from July (previous chapter) to September. We're skipping some of the big decisions that are made during this time but referring back to them as needed.

Friday, September 8, 2017

"You do know that I don't know everything, right?" Ana asked me humorously. "I mean, I know I'm rarely wrong and all, but, you know… even I get it wrong sometimes."

She was being sarcastic and funny, but the truth was that when it came to judging people's character, she was rarely wrong. But apparently, she had been wrong about my sister and the golden boy not being compatible. They were still together and going strong, and they had been since before he returned from France. According to Mia, they had spent hours on Skype on an almost daily basis while he was away, and since his return, they had been inseparable. And I still didn't like the bastard, even though the restaurant was a success with him as the head chef. There was just something about him that pissed me off.

Ana and I were on the airplane making the return trip from Singapore, where we had spent the past week. Ros had held down the fort in Seattle while Sebastian and I had gone to sort out the Asian office. Ana and I were planning to make another trip to London in a week, but after that, there would be no more flying for Ana for a while, not until after our baby was born.

"You didn't get it wrong about Sebastian, though," I reminded her. "You knew before even meeting him, just from his resume and background report, that he would be a good fit at GEH. And after meeting him, you knew he was a good person, not just for the job, but in general. But I still can't believe he wants to move to Singapore so badly that he's willing to take a demotion to do it. I mean, I think he's the perfect person to lead our Asian operations, and I can't think of anyone who'd be better at sorting out all the shit in the Singapore office, but how do you go from being the CFO of GEH-Global to the Vice President of GEH-Asia?"

"It's not really a demotion, though, is it?" Ana asked. "Isn't it more of a lateral move?"

"Not really," I replied. "Normally, the pay would be less, but we can work around that. He'll be able to keep the same salary he has now. But no, it's not a lateral move because even though VPs answer to me first, they also answer to Ros and Sebastian. Right now, Ros and Sebastian are equals. The only reason Ros had the authority to fire Jack Hyde was because she was the acting CEO at the time. Once Sebastian transfers to Singapore, Ros will have authority over him that she doesn't currently have, and so will the new CFO."

Ana looked amused. "So… if you hire Holly as your new CFO, then she'll go from being Sebastian's assistant to his boss?" she asked.

I sighed. "You and Sebastian both seem so sure that Holly's the future CFO," I commented. Ros and I weren't sold on the idea of hiring from within. We were both still recovering from the Jack Hyde clusterfuck, when we'd promoted him from within. Sebastian, however, was convinced that our mistake hadn't been hiring from within but hiring the wrong person from within. If we had promoted Holly instead of Hyde, things would have turned out very differently. Apparently, Hyde had been taking credit for work Holly had done, but we hadn't known about it until months later, after Sebastian had cleaned up all the shit.

I continued explaining to Ana, "And no, Holly wouldn't be Sebastian's boss exactly, but he would have to work under her authority, just like he'll work under mine and Ros's. But neither of them would have the authority to fire him. That's just me."

Ana shrugged and looked sad. "My best friend is moving to Singapore. We've lived in the same city since we were college Freshmen. I don't know how I'm going to make it without her."

I bit my tongue. As much as Kate had grown on me, she still grated on my nerves at times, mainly because she was loud and opinionated. I wasn't thrilled either that I had her to thank for taking away the best CFO that GEH had ever had. There was no question that the real reason Sebastian wanted to move to Singapore was because Kate had gotten the job at Vogue that she'd applied for a few months ago.

It would all be OK, though. GEH would find a new CFO to replace Sebastian, and he would do a great job heading Asia. And my lovely wife would also be OK. I knew Ana would still keep in close touch with Kate, and she'd be fine. She had plenty of other friends, too. And she had me, and our baby on the way. Life was good.

Ana and I had spicy Thai noodles on the plane. Lately, all she'd wanted to eat was spicy food. She'd scared me in Singapore trying some more unusual foods than I'd ever been brave enough to eat, but she hadn't gotten sick at all, and hopefully wouldn't. She assured me that she knew exactly what she was allowed to eat and what she needed to avoid, and she was being careful. I was worried anyway, but I needn't have been, because she was healthy. She hadn't experienced any morning sickness at all for a couple of months now. And her baby bump was very noticeable. We had announced her pregnancy over a month ago, knowing that the press would leak it sooner or later… once an asshole got a good shot of her.

"I have a new assignment I need help with," Ana told me as she slurped her noodles. "Finance is just not my thing."

"You'll do fine," I assured her. "You figured out the last assignment without too much trouble."

"Yeah, because you helped me," she reminded me.

I would continue help her as much as she needed me to, if I was able. Granted, the one subject she needed help with was something I was good at. I was just happy that she had decided to move to the online Executive MBA program instead of taking classes on campus in person. She'd made this decision for two reasons, two very good reasons, but there were more perks for me besides those two reasons. She was able to travel with me this month both to Singapore and to London. If she'd been taking classes in person, that would have been a problem. But the online module allowed her to do the coursework from anywhere in the world at any time of day. It was ideal.

Ana's two reasons for choosing the online program were, first and foremost, the baby. She was going to be giving birth before the end of the semester. She would be taking final exams with a newborn baby. It would be very challenging to complete the courses online; it would have been next to impossible to have done it in person.

The second reason was the paparazzi, which had gotten worse since Ana's idiot mother had started running her mouth, saying scandalous things about Ana. The press loves a scandal, and they certainly had one with Ana and Carla. That was especially true now that news of Ana's upcoming memoir had gotten out. My girl had finished writing it, and it was currently in the process of being published by SIP, soon to be renamed Grey Publishing, now that we had merged with Acorn and were in the process of merging with Mount Baker. Ana had received invitations to speak nationally about her up and coming memoir, and she would be accepting a few of them, the ones where we could control the questions being asked and also insure her safety. I hated telling the public about our personal lives, but I trusted my wife to protect my secrets. No, she would only tell the stories we had agreed to, the ones that made me look so much better than I really was. Ana was gifted at making me look good, so I wasn't worried about my privacy. I was only worried about the safety of my wife and unborn child.

Sunday, October 8, 2017:

A lot can change in just one month. Exactly one month had passed since Ana and I discussed her Finance assignment on the flight from Singapore. Since then, we had purchased a house in London and another house on Mercer Island with fantastic views of Lake Washington. Even though the London trip had been mostly business, we had been able to do the personal things we'd wanted to, including buying a four-bedroom townhouse in Chelsea that Ana had fallen in love with.

Our new family home on Mercer Island, which we would hopefully be moving into before the birth of our baby, was much larger than the London townhouse. The main house itself had ten bedrooms, but there were several units on the estate besides the main house. One was a two-bedroom apartment that the previous owners had called their pool house. In addition, there was a boathouse that had a large room that we could convert into a one-bedroom apartment if we needed it in the future. There were also three apartments located over the ten-car garage. One of those, the three-bedroom unit, would be perfect for the Taylors. They would have a room for Sophie, Jason's daughter with whom he shared custody with her mother, and an addition room they could use as a home office. The other two smaller units over the garage, which were both one-bedroom apartments, would work for our head of security, Simon, and Ana's CPO Preston. Our other security personnel had other places to live, but the security building located closer to the gate also included sleeping quarters. The house was a good distance from the main road, with a tall security fence, giving us the privacy we desired.

Between her business classes, which she was doing completely online, and conversations with her CEO Hannah Montgomery at Grey Publishing, Ana was keeping busy getting our new house move-in ready. Elliot had helped with a few small projects, but the house hadn't needed much work. It was mostly painting and flooring, and then new furniture. Ana was happy that she could get the furniture her father had built moved from the basement storage unit where it had been for the past several months, but a lot of new items were also needed. Ana's goal, she said, was for us to be moved in by the first of November, which she thought was totally doable as long as our baby didn't decide to come early.

Other changes over this past month included Ana herself. My wife's delectable body had certainly changed over the past few months, and that was especially true this past month. She was getting nearer the due date, and we were both very excited. Ana had completely embraced motherhood, as I'd known she would. She'd read pretty much any book about giving birth and parenting that she could get her hands on. And I'd gotten my own hands on her every chance I got. I never got enough of her beautiful body, with my child growing there. I was more in love with her than ever, and now, there were two of her to love.

A few things had not changed in the past month. Ana still craved spicy food, and she still needed my help with her Finance assignments, which I was happy to provide. She and Hannah, which she insisted I call her "business partner," which she also called her, were still getting along amazingly well, almost as if they shared a brain.

Ana hadn't continued in her sham role as "second personal assistant to the CEO" at SIP after all. Once she had realized that going into the building created too much of a distraction, especially after the news of her upcoming memoir had been announced, she'd decided to work from home. She let go of the notion of keeping her identity as owner of SIP a secret. Even before publishing her memoir, she knew it wouldn't work to keep the secret, so she had revealed it in the memoir, and then announced it at SIP before publication. Our acquisition of Mount Baker was public by then, so she announced that we were rebranding as Grey Publishing. Yes, my girl had decided without any prompting from me to take my name and give it to her publishing house.

So yes, a lot had changed over the past month. Ana's memoir had been available in stores and online for a little over a week now, and it had already sold almost a million copies. Carla, amazingly, had shut up and was hiding from the paps, who had turned against her. We weren't sure how long that was going to last, but we were enjoying it while we could.

When we took our time getting up that lazy Sunday morning in early October, we were planning to go for Sunday Brunch at Ciel de Grey as usual. What we didn't realize was that even though we'd seen a lot of changes lately, things were about to change again. If I had had any idea just how difficult and heartbreaking those changes were going be, I think I would have stayed in bed longer, just holding my precious wife.

We had both showered and were getting dressed when Ana received a call from Patrice. When Ana answered, I could hear Patrice's hysterical voice and the baby crying, even though Ana didn't have her phone on speaker. Ana's eyes got large and panicked… and I knew. It was Ray.

Ana and I didn't waste a moment getting to Ray and Patrice's apartment, but by then, the paramedics had already arrived and pronounced Ray dead. I found out later that Ray had died in his sleep, and Patrice had been unable to revive him. She had attempted CPR before calling 911. She'd called Ana and her parents while attempting CPR again, but she'd known by then that it was no use. Ray was gone.

Thursday, October 12:

Ana took care of most of the arrangements for Ray's funeral herself, with Patrice's full support and input. Together, they arranged a funeral for the Thursday following his death. All of our family, and many of the same people who had attended Ray and Patrice's wedding just a few months ago, attended and paid their last respects.

My mother, who seemed to always be looking for ways to be helpful, especially since she'd never gone back to her job at the hospital and only volunteered with Coping Together part-time, offered to keep Baby Ray, as we all called Ana's baby brother, during the funeral. But no, neither Patrice nor Ana wanted Baby Ray to miss his father's funeral, even though he wouldn't remember it, as he had only turned three months old on the very day his father died. They agreed that Ray would have wanted him there.

The baby slept through most of the service, which was truly a celebration of Ray's life. We had known this day was coming. Once she'd calmed down enough to talk about it, Patrice told us that not a day went by that Ray hadn't reminded her that his days on this earth were numbered, and they should make the most of the time they had. And they had. Ray had lived life to its fullest, and he'd left this life exactly the way he'd wanted to. He hadn't suffered the pain of ALS, but his medication had eventually killed him, causing him to have a massive heart attack in his sleep. But I remembered his words, and I didn't blame myself for my part in his getting access to the medication that had prolonged his life. This was what he had wanted.

Thursday, October 19:

Exactly one week after her father's funeral, Ana got some more bad news, this time from her best friend who now lived in Singapore. Kate's brother Ethan had been found dead in a hotel in Yakima. He'd been shot in the head, and the police had confirmed that it wasn't self-inflicted, but they didn't have any leads. Diane had spoken to the police and told them everything she knew about the people who had been threatening Ethan for the past several months, which wasn't much. The police hadn't been very helpful or optimistic about catching Ethan's killer. Kate was going to return to Seattle as soon as she could get a flight.

Kate had been hired by Vogue in August and had started her job there in Singapore in mid-September. Sebastian was scheduled to join her after the New Year, as I had reluctantly agreed to make him my VP for Asia, based in Singapore. He was staying on as my CFO through December 31 and would begin his new position in January. Ros and I had finally agreed with Sebastian's recommendation that Holly was the best person to hire as our new CFO, and he was currently training her. So far that was going well, mainly because, according to Sebastian, Holly already knew the job and didn't need much training.

Friday, October 20:

Thursday evening, I'd sent Sebastian with my private plane to get Kate so she wouldn't have to fly commercial. Ana was too close to her due date to travel that distance, so she waited until Kate and Sebastian had arrived in Seattle to spend time grieving with Kate for the brother that she could never help. Diane still lived in my apartment on the eighth floor, and Ana spent the afternoon with her on Friday as they waited for Kate and Sebastian to arrive. Ana hadn't actually known Ethan all that well, so she wasn't grieving for a lost friend. But being the empathetic soul that she is, she mourned with Diane and Kate for their lost loved one. Besides, she was still grieving for her dad, so I wasn't surprised when I saw her that day after returning home from Grey House that her eyes and nose were red from crying.

Friday, October 27:

"Well, boss man, Gwen and I have decided the names of our babies. And I want you to be the first to know before they even get here. We're naming our son after you."

Ros's words caught me off guard. She'd come strolling into my office that morning as usual, but these were the last words I'd expected her to say. I was speechless.

Ros laughed. "I'm going to enjoy this moment while I can. It's not all that often that Christian Grey can't find something profound to say."

"Ros…" I finally found words to speak. "I really am speechless. No kidding. Are you…? Really? Shit! I feel so honored."

"Don't get too excited," Ros warned me. "We aren't naming him 'Christian Grey.' We're naming him 'Henry Grey Stephens-Bailey.' That's a hyphenated last name. Grey is his middle name. Henry is for Gwen's grandfather."

"I like it," I told her. "What about the girl? What are you naming her?" I asked curiously.

"Lily Elaine Stephens-Baily," Ros answered. "That's for my Aunt Lily, and Gwen's grandmother."

"Beautiful. Gwen's still doing well?" I asked.

"As well as can be expected when she's nearly full term and pregnant with twins," Ros answered. "She's been having Braxton Hicks contractions, but the doctor says it's normal and not to worry. We're hoping they wait another week, just so their lungs can be more developed. As long as Gwen's blood pressure stays normal, we aren't going to induce until the due date, which is still two weeks away."

"I doubt they'll wait that long," I told her. Actually I had no idea. I was so eager to meet my own child, I could totally understand Ros's eagerness for the arrival of her own children.

"How's Ana doing?" Ros asked.

"No Braxton Hicks yet, but the doctor has warned her about them," I answered. "She's walking a lot, trying to stay active. Well, she calls it waddling, but I think it's adorable."

Ros nodded, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Good for her for staying active. Do you have any regrets for not finding out the gender?"

I shrugged. "I don't really mind one way or another, and Ana wanted it to be a surprise. We're ready either way."

That night, Ana and I had invited Kate and Sebastian for dinner at our penthouse. We were going to be moving into our new house on Mercer Island over the weekend, so this was our last dinner at Escala. It had been a very somber week, so we wanted to have an uplifting evening. Ethan's memorial service had just been the previous day, and Diane had wanted to have a few days to herself afterwards. Kate, though, wanted to spend some quality time with Ana, and she wanted to get her mind off her miserable family. Ana insisted that we had to help her with that. Kate was returning to Singapore early Sunday morning, and Sebastian had claimed her last day in the country, so tonight was Ana's last chance to spend quality time with her friend for a while.

"More spicy food, Ana?" Kate asked humorously as we sat down to eat. "Do you ever eat anything else? Every time I talk to you lately, that's what you're eating."

Ana smiled unapologetically. "Well, just be glad we're not having Thai noodles again. That was my preference, even though I just had them for lunch yesterday, but I knew Christian wouldn't want take-out again. This is Gail's Kung Pao chicken and her spicy Szechuan beef, both better than any Chinese restaurant you'll find. I don't know yet if this little one is a boy or girl, but I am pretty sure they're going to have a fiery personality. All they've wanted this entire pregnancy is spicy food. But there's sushi for you. It's the good stuff. I can't eat that, though, not until after the baby's born. I might eat some of the wasabi, though. I bet it would be good as a spread on crackers."

Sebastian said, "My grandmother would have been convinced you're having a boy because of your spicy food cravings. I've never heard that spicy cravings mean the baby will have a fiery personality, but it'll be interesting to see if your prediction is true."

"I still can't understand why you didn't want to find out the gender," Kate told Ana. "When the day comes for me… not that it's going to be anytime soon… but when it comes, I'm going to want to know as early as possible."

Ana shrugged with another sweet smile. "I knew I didn't want to go all girly for a girl, or all blue for a boy. I wanted the nursery to be more gender neutral. And besides, their name works either way. We've got it figured out. And it's fun, anticipating the birth."

"What do you mean, the name works either way?" Kate asked. "Did you choose a gender neutral name, too?"

"Not exactly," Ana answered. "This is just between us, OK? We aren't telling anybody the baby's name until they're born. But you probably won't be here, unless the baby decides to come early this weekend. So, I'll tell you. We knew we wanted to name the baby after Christian's grandfather, Theo. He's always been there for Christian, and he's become an important person to me, too. And especially now that they're moving to Florida to their retirement home, it means a lot to us. So, if it's a boy, his first name will be Theodore. If it's a girl, it'll be Theodora."

"I love the name Theodora," Kate said. "It sounds so regal. Very fitting for the child of Christian Grey."

I simply smirked at her and said thanks. She was being a smart aleck, but it didn't bother me. I agreed that my child's name was perfect for them.

Ana continued, looking more somber. "The baby's middle name is for Dad. If it's a boy, it's Raymond. If it's a girl, it's Ramona."

Kate looked very sad as she told Ana softly, "That's lovely, Ana. He would have loved that."

Ana nodded, wiped a tear, and continued, "I considered just Raye, with an E at the end, but I didn't want her to have a middle name that rhymed with her last name. But it doesn't really matter, because if it's a girl, we're going to call her 'Thea.'"

"Not 'Teddy'?" Kate asked surprisedly.

Ana looked more amused than ever as she smiled at me. "No, not Teddy," she replied. "That worked for Dr. Teddy in 'Grey's Anatomy,' but it doesn't really work for us. Besides, whether it's a boy or girl, we don't want to call our baby a name that reminds their daddy of the lingerie he likes their mommy to wear."

Kate and Sebastian both cracked up at that.

OK, I wasn't going to talk with them about how I preferred Ana when we were intimate. That was too personal. I told them, "If it's a boy, we can shorten his name to Theo. If it's a girl, Thea."

"Are you hoping for one or the other?" Sebastian asked.

"Nope," I answered truthfully. "I really don't mind which it is, as long as they're healthy and Ana's healthy."

"You should call her Thea Raye if it's a girl," Kate commented. "I love double names. Someday, I want to have a little girl with a double name. I'm not sure what her first name will be, but I know I want her middle name to be Rose, for you, Ana, and I want to call her both names."

"You want to give your daughter the same middle name as me?" Ana asked with wide eyes.

"Of course," Kate replied. "Because you're my best friend. You've always been there for me when I needed a friend. Without fail. You're the best, Ana."

Sebastian and I just looked at each other helplessly as our women began to weep.

Wednesday, November 1:

"Louis and I broke up last night," Mia answered when I asked her why her eyes were so red. She'd brought me a late lunch at work, as she often did on Wednesdays.

"What?" I asked surprisedly. "I thought things were going well between you guys." On one hand, I was happy they'd ended it now before she ended up marrying the son of a bitch. On the other hand, I was more pissed at him than ever for making her cry. Somehow, I'd known that bastard was going to break her heart.

"I thought they were going well, too," Mia told me. "Until just a couple of weeks ago. I felt… Well, I thought Louis was the one. And… I kind of mentioned that to him. I was stupid, Christian. I mean, I mentioned marriage. Not that I wanted to marry him now or anything, just sometime in the future. But I was surprised to find out that it wasn't what he was thinking at all. He doesn't want to marry me. He doesn't want to marry at all. In fact, he doesn't even want to be exclusive. He hadn't cheated on me yet, but he confessed that he had never been in an exclusive relationship until we started dating. He wanted to give it a try because he said he knew it was what I wanted. Well, he gave it a try and got bored with it. He wanted to date other people."

"What a bastard," I commented.

"No, that's the thing," Mia continued. "I can't even be angry with him. He never led me on. He never talked about the future or hinted at a long-term relationship, let alone marriage. So I thought, OK, let me try this. So for the past couple of weeks, I agreed that we would keep dating, but not exclusively. He told me when he went out with other women, and he encouraged me to date other men. But I can't do it. I can't. I need someone who will be committed to me, who I can be committed to. And Louis has made it clear that he can't commit. He says that he's just not geared that way, whatever that means."

"Are you telling me that he's been dating other women these past two weeks?" I asked her angrily.

She nodded tearfully. "Yeah, he even asked Phoebe out, but she's not interested. She told me, and she felt uncomfortable about it. I'm not angry with her or anything. She's a good friend. Hell, I'm not even angry with Louis. I'm just hurt that my dream is dead. I wanted what you and Ana have. I thought I had it. But I didn't. It turns out, it wasn't even Louis that I was in love with. That I am in love with. Still now. I'm still in love with him, but not really him. It's the idea of Louis, and what we could be together. What we could have been. It's not reality."

She began to cry again, and I didn't know what to do, other than to give her a tissue and pat her back.

Thursday, November 2:

"See Sebastian, this is why we couldn't have you leaving for Singapore until after the New Year," I told him.

Ros had just called us at work to tell us that the twins were on the way. She had taken off this week, knowing they would come any day now. Gwen had been on bed rest, and they had made it to almost full term. Ros would be off for the next six weeks on maternity leave, returning in mid-December. I was only planning to take off a week at most when my own child was born any day now, so Ros and I wouldn't be out at the same time longer than necessary. I would take off more time during and after Christmas, once Ros was back, before Sebastian left for Singapore.

Later that day, I was happy to learn that both babies had been born by Cesarian with no complications. Gwen and the twins were all doing well. Henry Grey and Lily Elaine Stephens-Bailey were both blonde-haired and blue-eyed like Gwen… and the sperm donor, apparently. And Ros told me that she'd fallen in love with the babies at first sight. She was a happy woman. And I was happy for her. And I could hardly wait for my turn to come to become a parent. Any day now.

Friday, November 3:

"Holly and I got engaged last night," Elliot told me as soon as I answered his call early that Friday morning.

"What? That's fantastic, Elliot! Congratulations!" Thank God, I couldn't handle another sibling break-up in the same week. Mia was not doing well, but Elliot was engaged. At least one of them was happy.

"Yeah, I wanted you to know before you see her at work today. She'll be the one with the gigantic rock on her finger. Well, it's not as big as Ana's, but my name isn't Christian Grey. I'm just the other Grey."

I laughed. "Well, if she said yes, it can't be too bad," I told him. "Have you set a date yet?"

"Nah, but we're going to talk about it this weekend," he replied. "We're thinking towards the end of next year. Holly wants time to plan it. She wants a fancy wedding."

I laughed again. "Lelliot's getting married! Let me know what you need from me. Seriously."

"You could let us stay in your house in Hawaii for our honeymoon," he suggested.

"Consider it done," I replied.

"Wow, thanks," he responded. "Oh, and I'm looking at some land on Mercer Island, and I wanted to get your thoughts on it. It's not far from you and Ana, maybe about five miles. Probably less. There's an old dilapidated house there now that I'd tear down so I can build my own house. Our own house, I mean. Holly's and mine."

"When do you want me to look at it with you?" I asked him.

"Are you busy tomorrow morning?" he asked.

"Not that I know of," I answered. "As long as my wife doesn't go into labor."

"How's Ana Banana doing?" he asked concernedly. "And was she really happy with the pantry and laundry room? She said it was perfect, but I wasn't sure she meant it. She didn't look happy."

"Her feet were really swollen from being on them too long that day," I explained. "And her back was bothering her, too. She's ready to have our baby. But she's healthy, and so is the baby. We're great, actually. And the house is perfect. It already feels like home. Ana loves it."

"Have you guys gotten settled already?" Elliot asked surprisedly. It had only been a few days since we'd moved in.

"We're getting there," I told him. "That's mainly because Ana has been busy putting everything away. There are still a lot of unfurnished rooms, but we're not in a hurry to finish them. The important rooms are done. And Ana's happy there."

"And you're happy there," he pointed out. It wasn't a question. Yes, I was happy. Very happy.

"I never knew I could be this happy," I admitted to my brother.

Elliot's comment reminded me of a conversation I'd had just a couple of months ago, while Ana and I were in London.

Flashback to Sunday, September 17:

"You seem very happy, Sir," Leila observed.

"I am, Leila," I told her as I watched a bird playing in the tree next to me. We were having lunch in a park. Security had cleared it, so I knew it was secure. This was better than a conversation in a restaurant. We were less likely to be overheard here. I told Leila, "I'm happier than I ever knew I could be. And you don't need to call me 'Sir.' I really do prefer that you call me 'Christian.' We're equals, Leila. I reminded you of that when we began this conversation today."

"Right," she said with a weak smile. "Old habits die hard. Anyway, I am happy for you. And for your wife. And the baby on the way."

"I'm happy for you, too, Leila," I told her sincerely. "For you, and for your fiancé."

"Thank you," Jim Anderson, Leila's fiancé told me. I'd been surprised when Leila had contacted me and told me she was seeing Jim, whom I remembered well from my own time in England. He had been a nurse who had looked after my needs shortly after I had almost taken my own life and had instead begun several weeks of intense mental health therapy at a clinic in a remote part of northern England. After I had sent Leila to that same clinic, she had met Jim. Apparently, they had fallen in love, and now, here we were.

His background report had informed me of a few more details about Nurse Jim. I knew that he had been honorably discharged from the Army National Guard, and that he had trained and worked as a nurse in his hometown of Wilmington, Delaware. He had resigned from that job after being charged with a homicide. After the jury had acquitted him, accepting his self defense plea, he had moved to England and continued with his nursing career in the very clinic where Leila and I had both gone for mental health therapy.

Jim continued, "You know, Leila's told me everything that happened in Seattle before she came to the clinic here in England. And I want to thank you for that, too. For helping her the way you did. And for your discretion. You're a good man, Grey."

I could guess what he was referring to, but I didn't acknowledge it because I wasn't sure if he knew about ALL that she had done. I simply acknowledged his thanks with a nod.

At that moment, Ana returned from the restroom and rejoined us at the table where we were eating lunch. I took her hand and squeezed it. I knew this meeting wasn't one that she had been looking forward to, but it felt necessary to me, for closure. Leila had been the one to request it, and I had thought long and hard about it. When we needed to come to London anyway for business, the stars had seemed to align, so I told Leila we could meet for lunch for one hour with both of our significant others. There were a few things I needed to say to her, and this would give me the chance to say them in person, which was preferred.

Apparently, there had been a few things she'd also needed to say to me. And so had her fiancé, who'd always seemed like a decent guy. I knew that he knew all about her mental issues, just as he did my own. Apparently, he even knew at least some of what Leila had done in Seattle before coming to England. And he still wanted to marry her and have a family with her. His protective hand on her swollen belly said more than his words could. Leila had found love again, with Nurse Jim. Good for her.

When Leila spoke next, I knew that she was completely lucid, that whatever mental illness issues she'd struggled with in the past were under control for the moment. She told me, "Thank you seems so small an expression, Christian. It feels strange to call you that, but anyway… I owe you so much more than just a thank you. I owe you my life. And to think… I almost ended your wife's life. Ana's life. I know you think I was crazy when I called her your angel, but looking back more clearly now, she really was. She is. I'm so glad she stopped me from killing her."

Ana shifted beside me uncomfortably. "Is this really helpful, Leila?" she asked. "I forgave you, and I'm not sure we need to keep rehashing it."

"We won't after today," Leila assured Ana. "I don't expect to see either of you again after today, so this will be the only time we mention it. And I still, even now, feel sick whenever I think about it. I would have done it, Ana. I would have killed you. I was… so confused."

Ana responded uncomfortably, "Well, I'm glad you're not confused any more."

Leila nodded at Ana, and then looked at me as she continued speaking. "And that's why I don't regret it. I know you know what I did, and I want you to know, I would do it again. Maybe that's my mental illness talking, the lack of remorse for taking someone's life. But she'd caused so much misery, including my own. Including yours. I'm not sure why you covered for me, but thank you for that, too."

I glanced at Leila's fiancé, not sure if he knew the whole story that she was referring to. I had told Ana almost a year ago when it had happened, but we'd never mentioned it since then. Ana had agreed with me that if we had let anyone know that I knew what I knew, it would have looked like I was in on it, which I hadn't been. But I had known, and the legally right thing to do at the time would have been to go to the police before she had a chance to leave the country. I hadn't done that. I had made sure Flynn hadn't found out about Leila's brief absence from the facility where he'd left her between picking her up at Ana's old apartment and taking the flight to England a few days later. I had made sure he'd gotten on that airplane with her and had gotten her out of the country. I had also made sure that Leila's tracks had been covered. Well, I hadn't done it personally, but my security staff had, once Barney had realized the truth and alerted me that Black Friday, almost a year ago.

When I didn't speak, Jim the fiancé did. "You see, Leila and I have something in common. We've both killed. And the people we killed both deserved to die. The person I killed was considered an act of self defense, and I didn't regret it afterwards either. He was a monster. He raped and killed my baby sister. She was only sixteen at the time and had her whole life ahead of her. He left his DNA at the crime scene, so there was no doubt he did it, but they still let the asshole out on bail. I had a good defense attorney who was able to convince the jury that I killed him in self defense when he came after me, not the other way around. The truth was that I hunted the bastard down and put a bullet between his eyes. But they couldn't prove that, and there was enough reasonable doubt to let me go. So no, I don't regret it. And Leila's told me all about that woman, Elena Lincoln. From what I've heard, she was a monster, too."

"She was," I agreed quietly. Holy shit, I hadn't expected him to tell me all that.

"And from what I understand, the police never found a body. They've never even searched for her," Jim concluded.

Jim and Leila both looked worried, understandably. We were speaking very quietly, so nobody around us could hear our conversation. Even so, Jim glanced around carefully as he spoke, and Leila averted her eyes.

"People believe that she left town and is probably still alive somewhere like the Cayman Islands," I revealed. "So, no, nobody has ever questioned her disappearance. There are no questions of foul play. And her body won't ever be discovered."

Leila shook her head. With some difficulty, she said, "No, it won't. I made sure of that. She's at the bottom of the Puget Sound, and she's not going anywhere. Not unless… you tell them what you know."

I promised Leila, "As long as you are living here quietly in England, not giving me any reason to tell anyone, your secret is safe. Nobody will ever know."

"Nobody will ever know," Leila repeated. "Thank you, Christian. That was one of the reasons I wanted to meet with you. I mean, I did want to thank you for everything. This wasn't a ruse. I mean it when I say you saved my life. But… I also wanted to be sure that you'll keep my secret."

I repeated, "As long as you stay on this side of the Atlantic, living quietly here in England, not giving me any reason to tell anyone, I won't tell anyone."

Leila understood the veiled threat, and she responded, "I knew that you wanted me to stay away from you and especially Ana. And now, your child. That's why I'm surprised you agreed to meet with me. But I'm really glad you did. You don't have anything to worry about from me. I'll never bother you again after today. That's what I meant earlier, when I said I don't expect to see you again after today. I'm no longer a threat, and I don't intend to ever leave England. I don't have anybody left in Washington State, so no reason to ever go there again. If we ever do return to the US, it will be to visit Jim's family and friends on the East Coast."

Jim jumped in. "I don't have any close family still living, but I do have a few cousins. And a few buddies. I don't have any plans to visit them, but you never know. But I like living here in England. The benefits are so much better than in America. And this baby isn't costing us a fortune to give birth to, like it would in America. And no, I can assure you, Leila's not a threat. She's on medication now, and I'm taking care of her. She's a good person. She was just really sick when you knew her."

I glanced at my wife, who didn't look convinced, but she just smiled weakly at me. Ana would never forgive Leila for destroying her apartment and almost killing her, and I didn't expect her to. We weren't trying to build a friendship here or anything. Just to get closure. If I had believed even for a moment that Leila was still a threat, there's no way this meeting would have even happened. Ana knew that. And in her heart, she also knew Leila wasn't a threat to us. She just didn't like her. And I didn't blame her for that.

Leila continued, "Honestly, I won't ever return to Washington State because I'm afraid to. Look… this was one of the reasons I wanted to have this conversation today. It's not a conversation to have over the phone, and certainly not by email. But… I'm not sure who else knows what I did. I know you have staff who know. You've just promised me that you won't say anything if I stay away, and I will. And I believe you'll keep your word. But can I trust them to keep quiet, too? Can I get on with my life, or will I always live with the uncertainty that the police will eventually find out? I know they won't ever find her body, but what if one of those people tells the police what they know?"

"They won't," I assured her. I was certain of my words because they worked for me, and they were loyal to me. And telling the police about Leila's actions would have implicated them since they'd helped cover it up afterwards.

Leila looked skeptical, but she confessed, "I don't feel guilty for killing her, not at all. I mean, hell, she put a loaded gun in my hands, not once but twice, even though she knew I was mentally unstable. She was one of the main reasons I was so unstable because of all the bullshit she was writing me, messing with my mind. And when she handed me that second gun, I already knew what I was going to do with it. That's why I asked her to meet me on Master's boat, because I knew it would be easier to get rid of her body that way. And I'm not sorry I did it. No doubt, I'm going to hell for it, but not yet. Maybe I can make up for my sins by being a good mother to this little one. But I'm terrified that I'm going to get found out. Would they extradite me from England? I don't know. But I know I wouldn't survive in prison."

"Rest easy, Leila, and live your life here in England," I told her. "Nobody is talking. People don't even know she's dead. And nobody misses her, so nobody is going to ask questions. The world is better off without her in it."

Back to November 2017:

The weeks passed. I kept working, making the commute into downtown Seattle to Grey House from Mercer Island each day, and calling Ana at least once every hour to make sure she was OK. She didn't seem to mind my constant checking on her. She was still trying to walk as much as possible, but mainly just around our house, continuing to put stuff away. She was talking about decorating for Christmas, but it was still too early. She walked around outside our new estate, as well, down to the water, making plans to build a gazebo not far from our boat house that would overlook the water. Her security were always with her, one on each side of her, making sure she didn't lose her step.

When I was home, I was attentive as ever, making sure Ana had everything she needed. I rubbed her aching swollen feet every night. I made sure she knew that I adored every inch of her, especially now that she was nine months pregnant with the life we'd created together. I still worshipped her body and gave her orgasms, although I was more gentle than usual with her now that she was so near the end of pregnancy. I didn't want to hurt her or the baby.

Mia was keeping to herself, buried in work at Ciel de Grey as usual. She was planning to close on Thanksgiving Day but then have a big lunch special on Black Friday, encouraging shoppers to end their busy morning with a relaxed meal. I met with her and Isaac as usual, and I could see clearly that Isaac was just as smitten with her as ever. They'd become close friends by now, and I wondered if Mia would ever see him as more than a friend. Isaac seemed resigned to being in the friend zone, but I knew he wanted more. And I wasn't as opposed to that idea now as I had been a year ago. That was mainly because I knew that Isaac had no interest whatsoever in any of the shit that Elena had done with us. Unlike myself, with my past as a Dominant, Isaac was disgusted by anything related to BDSM. And he was a good man, and a very good friend to Mia. If he wanted to be more than a friend to my sister, if she were open to it, I wouldn't object.

Elliot bought the land about four miles away from us. He used one of his work crews to demolish the old house and remove the debris. He was working on getting the site ready to begin the new build of his and Holly's dream house. He'd shown me the design. It was modern, with a lot of glass, and solar panels. There would be large windows in every room of their six-bedroom home that overlooked Lake Washington. There would be an attached 4-car garage, and an additional oversized detached garage that would hold some of his work vehicles. He wanted to add an in-ground swimming pool with a pool house like mine, but not until later.

Speaking of our pool house, Ana had been trying to talk Patrice into moving into it, and it seemed like maybe she was making some headway. Patrice knew she couldn't stay in Ray's apartment, which was part of the assisted living facility where she worked. The manager had kindly given her permission to stay until the end of the year, but then she would need to find a new place to live. Ana and I agreed that there was really no better use for our pool house than to turn it into a true "mother-in-law's quarters," not that Patrice was anything like a traditional mother-in-law to Ana. Our children would grow up together, like siblings. Ana wanted that very much, and I wasn't opposed to the idea. I'd become very fond of Baby Ray, and of Patrice, too.

Ana's due date of November 17 came and went, and still she wasn't experiencing anything that hinted at labor pains, not even Braxton Hicks contractions. I had tried to convince Ana to schedule an appointment on her due date when they would induce labor, but Ana refused. She wanted the baby to be born as naturally as possible. She wanted to wait until the baby was ready to come.

November 20, 2017:

We had a check-up appointment scheduled with Dr. Greene first thing on Monday morning, November 20. Ana still hadn't experienced any labor pains, but she was really ready by now emotionally for the baby to come. So was I, of course.

Dr. Greene, in her multiple tests, determined that the baby was just as healthy as ever, but the amniotic fluid, whatever that is, was low. I googled it while the doctor was talking and realized that it could cause serious problems. When the doctor recommended inducing labor, I was all for it.

Ana had already read all about anything related to pregnancy, so she knew exactly what it meant for her amniotic fluid to be low. For that reason, once Dr. Greene suggested it, Ana quickly agreed to being induced. But then, once her labor was started, we still had hours to wait until the baby came.

It was after 2 p.m. before it was time for Ana to start pushing. Once that started, I had hoped it would be over quickly, but it seemed to go on forever. What's worse, Ana had refused an epidural because of the risks, so whatever pain medication they were giving her didn't seem to help much. She was in so much pain, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it! She squeezed the shit out of my hand every time she pushed, but that pain was nothing compared to what she was going through. She was getting so tired of pushing, too. My girl was exhausted! Her vitals were still good, and so were the baby's, but Ana was worn out!

And then, finally, at exactly 3:00 p.m., our baby was born! When I heard her cry, I knew that her lungs were healthy and strong, and I had never heard a sweeter sound.

"It's a girl!" the doctor announced. "A healthy, beautiful girl!"

She was, truly, amazingly beautiful, with her headful of curly dark reddish hair and blue eyes like Ana's. And Ana had never looked more beautiful, with her sweet smile, holding her and looking at her adoringly shortly after her birth. Ana was tired but OK. She hadn't had any complications once the labor had been induced, and she was doing fine. Apparently, all that pain had been perfectly normal. I didn't want her to ever go through that again, though.

"Theodora Ramona Grey," Ana said sweetly. "You are the most beautiful baby ever born, and your mom and dad love you so much!"

"That we do," I told my daughter. "Hello there, Thea. You're my life, little one. And I'll always love and protect you and your mom, no matter what."