My Other Worldly Harem Curb Stomp is Wrong as Expected (SNAFU)

Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru is created by Wataru Watari and published by Shogakukan.

Familiar of Zero is made by Noboru Yamaguchi and is published by Media Factory (though I only know the J.C. Staff production).

Neither is owned by me nor do I have any power over them.

Step one: Get isekaied.

Step two: get overpowered.

Step three: get a harem.

Step four: Profit? Sadness? Rulership?

To be honest, most light novel writers have already lost the plot by step three. Step two is where the worldbuilding falls apart. Not you R*:****, you are perfect. Now if only you would actually adapt your novels into English… well I'm from Japan so I have no reason to even bring that up.

Yes, back to unoriginal light novel plot concepts that involve death by a truck.

Other than M***** T***** it always seems that the character is stagnant. What was their old life is never really something that matters? The person they once were is nothing compared to the super powerful thing they became. The knowledge of their home world while being miles ahead of the fantasy one they live in doesn't factor much, or it creates a deus ex machina. If anything changes, it is usually on the bounds of a person's morals. Depending on how gritty the author wants it to be, suddenly they forget years of training on how violence is bad and start to kill people.

The murder is of course justified, they are evil/its fine/it's just a game.

Could I ever be like that, could I be someone who is so morally corruptible that I would go that far? Even now, as I stand across someone who is morally opposed to me on an important fact of life, how to treat women, could I even be violent?

Violence was never my thing, I never wished to harm others. Even as I wa- saw others being mercilessly bullied, I never thought an eye for an eye was the solution. As famed Indian Activist Gandhi once said, "release the nukes," wait that was civ… he actually said, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

What then was the correct choice here? I could grovel and this charade would end. I could say I was sorry and that I lied.

But could I lie when lying only brings more pain?

Chapter 4: Moral dilemmas assault Hachiman Hikiguya even in another world.

"That is correct. You and I will duel right now." The haughty wannabe Hayama made a spectacular pose. In one hand he had a lovely flower and his eyes twinkled with a million stars. This… I know I was isekaied, but even then, this single moment might be the strangest thing to ever happen to me.

"Guiche stop." Suddenly the voluptuous woman who had embraced me only minutes before came to my defense. "Dueling is strictly forbidden on campus."

"Only noble duels" The blue-haired midget supplied, "Commoners are fine." Thanks, bluette. I really appreciate your help in diffusing this situation. Let me know where I need to send the bill for your services, please. How would I go on without your "help."

"Tabatha!" My large-chested hero grabbed the girl, now identified as Tabatha, by her cheeks and began waving the small girl around and talking in panicked speech. Seriously, how is stuff that breaks all known laws of physics happening? Is this what I get for sleeping in that class? Was this actually stuff I learned in my world?

"There you have it, commoner, now you must battle me. I don't understand why Kirche would not want it…" He gave me such a haughty look that I couldn't help but hate his Hayama-like face.

Again, violence. I am from a well-adjusted society. My home has so little violence that the one time I remember any, was from Hayama himself. I hate him, I really do, the way he holds everyone away and is never himself. I hate it.

And the reason was that I hate myself. I am not true; I lie and deceive the entire world. That includes me. I will change, I will be better, and I will be someone I want to be proud of. I want to be… What did I want?

Something genuine. Something real. I want to have a true connection, and I truly think I was beginning to understand that. But it was taken away. I was flung into this world empty and alone. I wanted to be better, I wanted to be the person to start something real. That only left one option for how this would go, didn't it?

"No," I deadpanned to him.

Behind him, a large crowd was coming from the castle. Seriously how did they all fit in that? The murmurs from them carried all the way over, a duel was the common word and people wished to witness glorious violence.

The man called Guiche stuttered, changing from one Jojo pose to another, holding his body in a strange Z formation. "What?" He looked genuinely confused that I had the audacity to tell him no. How pompous could you be?

"I want no part of that. Look, dude." I put a hand on his shoulder, "I understand that you like women…" ok, how do I do this whole moral talk thing… "Trust me. I do too." His forehead crunches up and he looks like he needs to sneeze. "But girls are precious, Gui… Guich… man. They need to be treated with respect and kindness." I stated what was my true feelings to him. I realized just how many girls had become important in my life. Suddenly the thought that only Tobe and Zaimokuza were male friends of mine revealed itself. Every other person I spent time with was female. Well, Totsuka is a different thing.

"But!"

"And" I cut him off gaining momentum, "When you find someone special, and I do mean special," A breeze flowed into the room with only a single occupant. She was silhouetted against the setting sun. Her flawless form filled my mind. Long hair flowed and danced as her focused beautiful eyes stared only at the book before her. "Well, you will understand why what you did was wrong."

"You hurt my honor?" he said. I could tell he wanted it to have more vibrato than the horse whisper it came as.

"Did I?," Even before I continued speaking, flashes of my life played. Taking the hate, the rumors, everything and putting it on myself. "Or did you do that to yourself." This was it. My breakthrough. I got through to him! Looking past him my eyes met with… I think her name is Kirche. The look she is giving me is the awe reserved for meeting someone like Nasu -why would she be giving me such a look?

A sword clatters at my feet. It had a golden sheen and looked like something from a movie. "I won't kill you without the ability to defend yourself." Shoot. I pushed him too far too quickly.

"I don't consent to the fight." I started backing up a half step.

"You think that matters," He scoffs at me, eyes filled with hate. Seriously what the heck, this is a kid, why is he so aggressive and angry? "You are a commoner; your life is but a whim to a noble like myself." What the heck kind of world is this? "I am the son of the great square General Gramont. I am a dot sorcerer of the earth element. Today for my amusement you will die at the hand of my Valkyrie." I grabbed the sword on the ground and suddenly my hand burned, so much so that I nearly dropped the weapon. Why did he want to physically hurt me? I said a few words ya, but there was no reason for such hate. My hand continued to burn as internally I felt gears turning and muscles tensing as I reflexively blocked a figure that ran to me.

The humanoid who attacked me at the behest of Guiche was tall and fast. It looked to be wearing bronze armor. I did not know how my blade met his as he rushed me blind. I wonder what blackmail Guiche had that caused this person to fight for him. Poor guy.

"Guiche, there is no honor in this, you are hurting your reputation even more." Kirche tried to aid me, but even then, this person was about to bisect me.

Well, if it moved like that then I needed to swing there. My sword met the armored man's with a clang as I tried to retreat, only to meet a wall of people who wouldn't let me out.

I had turned my back on the attacker, yet somehow over the loud chatter behind me I could hear the sound of steps on the soft earth, the best option was… there. With a quick turn, my arm came up, rising my guard high above my head as I nimbly moved to the side and let the opposition blade drop. Using a spin with the momentum my sword moved to slash at a weak point on the back of his neck…

Wait.

What was I doing…

Was I really about to kill someone on the whim of a child?

I dropped my sword in shock at myself. Unfortunately, the man I was fighting had no such hesitation. He delivered a kick to my midsection, and I went tumbling on the ground grunting in pain. I couldn't breathe as the strength I had moments ago was gone in a single blow. Kami-san. I hate this world. It is a cruel and evil place. What evil did I do to deserve this? I wasn't a bad person was I? Why was I being punished?

The man called Valkyrie moved towards me with slow steps. It was as if he wished to savor the final seconds of my life. I could end it now. Just say I was wrong, and state I lied. Apologize. Would that be breaking my promise, be genuine, to let them in? Was the cost of my life greater than promises and pride?

A roaring cloud of flames erupted on the man I was fighting. Across the circle, the professor who was there when I was summoned was standing next to Louis. The girl was panting and sweating up a storm, while the professor had a look of such fury, well - it was very scary. It actually reminded me of mentioning age around a certain sensei.

"Violence against familiars is very much against the rules, Guiche. And to attack one without its master around is grounds for expulsion from the academy."

"But that commoner attacked my honor!" The proud Guiche said, not worried that his servant had been killed in one attack.

"Did Louise's familiar lie in any way? And don't think you can lie to me." Ok. This is definitely a sensei. The command and respect he had were otherworldly.

"No…"

"Then it sounds like you did that yourself," Wow. Wait, isn't that what I said? Was I going to be a sensei eventually?

"And you all, standing around and watching. Let me make something clear. To this day I still don't understand why we no longer teach things like science and history, because some of you could do well learning history. Why is a noble a noble and a commoner a commoner?" The man was giving an impromptu lecture to 100 children who had gathered to watch a schoolyard brawl. He looked like the type who was venerable, with a balding head and glasses on his old face. "Yes, Miss Montmorency."

"Because nobles have magic." She stated with a tone that meant obviously. Her tears stopped falling at some point in the battle.

"And does that make you better than them?" The professor rhetorically asked. A memo that the blonde drills did not get.

"Well of course." The same haughty attitude he saw in Louise earlier was with her as well.

"No. It only means that you have more responsibility." He paused. He kept looking upwards. Following his gaze was a slight unnatural shimmer in the sky. "As a noble, the reason that commoners follow us is that we offer our magic and leadership for them. They should be treated with respect, they are humans, and they deserve to be treated with any kindness you would receive. Think about that."

People started to leave; it appeared that the professor's speech was enough to dissuade the crowd. As I watched the man walk the egotistical ryaju, I had only one thought; that is a cool sensei. I really needed to talk to him!

Turns out I had another thought.

I puked on the ground.

Getting kicked in the stomach hurt.

"Hikigaya, are you ok?" Louise started to run towards me, but someone was closer.

"Hikitani, are you ok?" Kirche leaned over me and pressed her chest against me as her hands - wait what do you think you're touching there? Swatting her hands away I turned and hid my growing blush.

"Hikigaya," my gaze locked onto a pair of warm reddish brown, closer to pink, eyes. Small moisture had made homes at the bottom. Each of her hands had cupped my cheeks as she watched me intently. I could feel the heat coming to my cheeks and for the first time, I realized how pretty Louise was. She was the one who had ultimately saved me, wasn't she? She was standing next to the professor when he arrived. Did she get him for me?

"I'm fine," I break contact and looked down.

What had happened here?

What was this?

"What do you think you're doing with my darling!" What? Who is "darling?" Is it me?

"What do you think you were doing with my familiar?" Before me, Louise stood up angrily and turned on Kirche. They then argued in earnest. They insulted personalities, and family lines, I think there was something about a dog. I started to distance myself as I found myself again under the tree. Drills was sitting there, I think the teacher called her Montmorency. I needed a break from two women fighting over me. It was something I was sure would never happen and was just the universe playing a trick on me. Even in my home world, I doubted even one person liked me for myself.

"Yo." I sit down next to her on the grass. Her eyes were red and looking into the distance. She didn't answer when I introduced my presence, so I was sure she hated me for pointing out her boyfriend's cheating. Now if only I knew why? Why was she was dating him? Well, the silence was something I could do well. As another breeze rolled around me, I watched as two strangers argued where I had just been badly beaten. The person they were fighting over was forgotten for a long-running feud.

Stranger; Is defined as someone you do not know. Therefore, every newborn is a stranger who is immediately introduced to a family to give a base of social structure. In this world, I was essentially everyone's stranger. No one knew me and I didn't know anyone either. Did this mean that Louise was my family in this metaphor?

"Why?" The girl beside me suddenly spoke. Her voice was quiet and sad. "Why did he cheat on me?" Drills was very pretty; she was probably the prettiest person I had seen at the school so far - in fact, when I compared her to Yumiko, I still felt that to be apt.

"Sometimes guys suck," I say keeping my eyes forward as I could hear the sniffles on my left. "They think that it's ok to cheat because they feel good in the moment." After a small pause, I continued, "I know it sucks but at least you learned now instead of later. At least you can cut his jerk self off."

"That's just it Hikitani, I can't." Her head dropped against my shoulder, and I fought to not jump from the sudden contact. "My family says I need to marry him, and his agreed."

Well, that's complicated.

Had a weekend to myself so I updated both stories!

Edited 12/20/22