Addison

"5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!"

"Come here, little man!" I pick up Henry tickling him before placing a long kiss on his cheek, "I had to get my New Year's kiss."

"I can't believe Ellis is turning two on the fourth," Meredith says putting Ellis back on the ground after kissing her.

A tipsy Maggie giggles walking away from Dr. Riggs and over to us near the champagne fountain, "Can you believe Zola is turning seven at the end of the month?"

"Oh, don't remind me," she rolls her eyes, "I'm already planning her princess party. She wants to invite her entire grade level to some Royal Ball… I was never into that kind of stuff so you can imagine I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Ooh, I'm really good with the girly stuff," I offer up, "I'd be happy to help."

"Addison, you know, you are really amazing," Meredith says sipping her drink.

I smirk, "Oh, you don't have to tell me. I already know."

"Addie!" a drunk Callie screams making her way over to us, "Guess what, guess what, guess what!"

"What?" the three of us ask at the same time.

Callie squeals, "Arizona and I are getting remarried! And we're even thinking about having another baby!"

"Wow, that's wow… I'm so happy for you, Callie. Congrats," I smile hugging her tightly.

She pulls back, "You know you're my Maid of Honor, right?"

"Well, duh," I say and we both giggle. There's a tug on my dress and I look down to see Peggy sucking her thumb… that means she's upset about something. I reach down to pick her up and she rests her head on my shoulder. I rock her in my arms and I whisper, "Everything okay, baby girl?"

"I wanna go home," she whines, "Parker stepped on my finger while I was playing with Sofia's dollies."

"Aww, Peggy, baby, I'm sure she didn't mean it," Meredith says as she rubs circles on Peggy's back, "Did she say sorry?"

"Yes," she nods then holds out her finger to her, "but it still hurts."

"Here," Meredith takes her hand and kisses her finger, "Does it feel better now?"

"Yeah!" Peggy smiles taking her thumb out of her mouth and my heart melts just a little, "Okay, Mommy, I'm ready to go play now."

"Okay, baby," I say putting her on the floor and she runs off down the hall to Sofia's room. I turn to Meredith and smile awkwardly, "Uh, thanks."

"Sorry, I just couldn't resist the pout on that face," she laughs.

I laugh shaking my head, "Imagine what it's like to have two of those faces pouting at you."

"Oh, I'd just die from all the cuteness," Maggie exclaims.

As things start to wind down, I go to get the little ones from Sofia's room. By now, the twins have fallen asleep on Sofia's bed both of them with dolls in their hands and Henry is happily playing video games with Bailey. I hate to end their fun but it's getting late and I want to get home before too much traffic.

"Henry, sweetheart, it's time to go."

"Can I spend the night, pleaseee?" he asks with the cutest little smile on his face. How can I say no to that?

I cave, "Fine, but when I come to get you in the morning you have to set the table for dinner."

"Okay," he smiles bigger nodding his head and running towards me.

I hug onto him, "Have a good night, love and don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight, mommy," he says before running off to play with his toys.

I'm able to wake up Parker but Peggy didn't budge. Meredith offered to carry her out to the car while I grabbed Everett from Callie's room. Getting everybody strapped into the car, I say goodbye to Meredith and make my way home. I can't believe it's 2017 already. I can't believe it's been seven months, one week and four days since Jake died… I can't believe how much it still hurts. It's been two hundred and twenty-five days yet it's still so fresh in my mind. It's almost as if it was yesterday…

I basically crawl out of bed and slip into my house shoes then I throw on one of Jake's t-shirts before making my way to the bathroom. It's a Saturday… I have the day off unless one of my patients unexpectedly goes into labor. Seeing that we both had the day off, Jake and I planned to take the kids to the park later when everyone wakes up. Henry's always loved the swings and the twins wanted to play in the sandbox. It's perfect out. I don't see any reason not to go.

After a quick shower, I follow my nose downstairs to the kitchen where my amazing husband is preparing breakfast. I smile sitting down at the island, "Good morning."

"Good morning, beautiful," he smiles kissing me then sits a hot cup of cocoa in front of me.

I grin taking a sip, "You really know the way to my heart… The kids aren't up yet?"

"Surprisingly, you beat them out of bed this morning," he winks at me taking the last pancake off the pan, "I just have to make the eggs then breakfast is ready."

"I'll go check on the little ones," I smile kissing him softly, "I love you."

"I love you more," he calls out after I walk away.

I shake my head as I make my way upstairs, "I love you most."

"Not possible!"

"Good morning," I say as I open the door to Henry's bedroom.

He looks up from his book smiling at me, "Good morning."

"Hey, handsome, you're just waking up?" I ask and he nods, "You hungry?"

"Yeah," he nods reaching up for me and I take him in my arms.

We make our way out of the room and down the hall towards the twins room, "Let's check on your sisters to see if they're up too."

"Okay," he says softly resting his head on my shoulder.

I peak open the door to the twins' room and they're knocked out; one twin holding onto a toy and the other holding onto her sister. They amaze me… In an attempt not to wake them, I slowly close the door behind us and make my way down the stairs. I know Everett's still asleep or we would've heard him on the baby monitor.

Making our way back to the kitchen I say to Henry, "I guess it's just going to be the three of us this morning."

"Ca-calm down. I'll be right there," Jake says hanging up the phone when I walk into the kitchen holding Henry.

He has that look on his face and I frown, "Another house call?"

"You know how my patients get," he shrugs.

I attempt to sound upset, "You spend too much time with your patients."

"Oh, you're just jealous," he jokes back kissing me softly on the lips, "Hopefully, I'll be back in time for the park and if not, I'll just have to meet you guys there."

"Okay," I smile up to him as he ruffles Henry's hair. "I love you."

"I love you," he kisses me softly then heads out the door. "See you in a bit."

"Okay, little guy," I sit him down as I get up to make our plates, "I guess it's just you and me for now."

I get the kids fed, dressed and into the car without much of a struggle. The girls were easy to dress for; they like anything they can twirl around in so I slipped dresses on them with shorts underneath so if they want, which I doubt, they can run around and jump off the swings. Henry's such a good boy that he dressed himself… and I have to admit, he's never tacky. My good taste must've rubbed off on him. I just put a onesie on Everett because it's pretty hot out today… almost eighty degrees and I don't want him to overheat.

We pull up to the park and Henry helps the twins out while I get Everett into a stroller. We make our way over to the playground and of course, Parker and Peggy head straight for the sandbox. I walk circles around the playground with Everett so he can enjoy himself a little too and I can look out for Jake if he makes it back in time to meet us here. It also helps me keep an eye on the sandbox where the twins are building a castle and Henry over at the swings.

About an hour later, I start to get worried as to why Jake never called and as I reach into my jacket pocket, I realize why. I don't have my phone on me. I must've left it at home. I hope Jake isn't too worried. He's probably been trying to reach us. I decided that I'd give the kids about thirty more minutes before we head back to the house.

It's when I pull up to the house and don't see Jake's car in the driveway that I really start getting worried. I rush the kids inside and I get them set up in the living room watching some old Disney movie before I go looking for my cell phone. It turns out that I left it inside Everett's changing station this morning. Going through it, I have no missed calls and not even a text from Jake. I figured maybe he just got pulled into an emergency surgery or something at the hospital. I call him anyway… even if he doesn't pick up, I could leave a voice message.

"Hey, um, it's me," I say into the phone when he doesn't answer, "Missed you today. I figured that you probably got pulled into a surgery… well, we're back at home and I'll get started on dinner. Could you stop by the store and get extra pasta? I love you. I'll see you soon."

What I didn't expect was for the doorbell to ring right after…

Henry calls from downstairs, "I got it!"

"Henry," I remind him coming down the stairs, "what did I say about answering the door?"

"Don't do it unless I ask who is it first and only when you and Daddy are home," he answers swinging open the door.

My heart stops when I see the red and blue lights in the background… the two cops standing outside my door… I can't breathe.

After getting the kids into bed, I find myself dragging through the house on the way to my bedroom. I don't know what's wrong with me. Today should be a good day; this year started off with hope and love. As soon as the year turned over, Callie tells me that she is getting remarried to her soulmate and even trying for a new baby. That's a good sign; and I should be overjoyed but I'm not. I'm not and it makes me feel selfish; even a little jealous. I want what she has… I want that everlasting love and a big happy family. I want that. I had that. With Jake. Lying here alone, thinking about the end, I can only think about the beginning...

I just left from my therapy session that evening and my therapist tried to deem me clinically depressed. I'm not depressed. I have a great life, a great job… I love my job, I do, I can't imagine doing anything else. The rest of my life is fine… it's fine… I just… I feel like I'm missing my life… I'm disconnected from my life… like it's a really boring movie I don't want to watch. I mean, I spend all day long helping other people have a life. And I can deal with that. I can, if I just knew… that something was gonna change. Something has to change, right? When is my life going to change?

'When you make it change.' That was all my therapist had to say. When I make it change. I want to make it change. I decide to go to the grocery store and get some fruit… make some smoothies to kickstart the change I'm going to make. When I get there, I head straight for the fruit section. I started going through the fruit and when I look up, the guy on the other side of the stand looks up at the same time and we lock eyes. He's gorgeous… he walks away and my eyes can't help but follow him. This is the change. This is it. I'm going to go over there and say something to him. I'm going to flirt and I'm going to do it well.

I walked over to where he's picking over oranges and he doesn't even notice I walked over. Looking for something to say, I pick up the pineapples in front of me and I sort of shout, "Hey."

"Hi," I say again smiling awkwardly when he finally looks up.

He smiles, "Hi."

"Uh, I was just wondering…" I look down nervously at the pineapples in my hands, "Uh, how do you tell when these things are ripe?"

"Well…" he says staring into my eyes as he walks around the fruit stand towards me. He comes extremely close to my face and he bends down to smell the pineapples, "They smell sweet. That's how you know if it's ripe."

"Thank you," I say trying not to blush as I take in his sweet smell.

He smiles that smile again, "No problem."

I throw the pineapples down into my cart and I walk away smiling. I whisper to myself, "Make it change."

When I get home that night, I realize I forgot to get yogurt because I was too concerned with flirting with some guy… and my flirting was terrible. I didn't realize how stupid I sounded. I tried to pick up a guy and all I could come up with is 'how can I tell these pineapples are ripe?' I'll have to go back to the grocery store tomorrow because I'm not leaving my house again tonight.

The next night, I ran into him at the grocery store again, I laugh, "Do you come here every night?"

"I couldn't get the idea of fresh pineapple out of my mind," he laughs awkwardly, "What about you? Do you―do you come here every night?"

"No, I forgot to grab yogurt."

"I lied," he says after a pause and laughs awkwardly, "I hate pineapples… Would you like to, uh, grab a drink?"

"Sure," I smile.

We ditch our carts and make our way across the street to this bar/lounge thing and we get seated at a table over on the side of the lounge. He lets me order for him and when the waiter brings out our drinks, he sips his and smiles, "So… tell me about yourself."

"Well, I―" I shake my head changing the subject, "Let's not."

"Oh?" he nods, "Okay."

"No. I mean―" I correct myself, "Look, I-I could tell you about my ex-boyfriend, my dating history, what's going on at work… I could tell you all of that, but―let's make a change."

"You want to make a change?"

"Yeah. I don't want to do any of the things that I usually do―no drama, no games, no history… just you and me in the present. Start clean," I shrug, "Is that weird?"

"No. Not at all," he pauses with a chuckle, "Okay. No histories, no names, just here and now…"

"What?" I say when he just stares at me and I check my teeth, "Is there―do I have some―"

"I'm just wondering what it might be like to kiss those lips."

"Oh," I chuckled softly, "Oh, no. We can't do that. I-I don't even know your name."

"Hey, you set the rules," he shrugs.

I smile hard, "Yeah, but we're in public."

"We're in the present," he says and we both start to slowly lean into the longest kiss I've ever had. He pulls back after a while and smiles to himself, "Best date ever, so far… Wanna do this again, tomorrow night?"

Tomorrow night came around a little too fast for me. I'm still struggling with what I'm going to wear by the time it's time to leave the house. I meet him at the same lounge from last night and this time, we sit on the couch right outside of the dance floor. Our drinks come and we chat a little about our day before he starts his guessing game again.

"So, I'm guessing lawyer," he says this time.

I shake my head, "I'm not a lawyer."

"Anthropologist?" he questions.

I laugh, "That would be fun, but no… and stop with the twenty questions. I thought we both agreed."

"We're gonna have to tell each other who we are sooner or later," he smiles that smile.

I melt a little, "On our next date, I promise."

"I don't know if I can wait two whole weeks," he says sipping his drink.

I'm taken aback a little, "Two―what―two weeks? We have to wait two weeks for our next date?"

"I am taking a much-deserved vacation… 14 days in Fiji," he says and I gasp, "White sand, blue water…"

"Oh, I'm jealous."

"Well, you should be… but hey, I'll bring you back a gift," we both chuckle and then he shrugs, "Or you could come with me."

"Oh, right," I say sarcastically.

He looks at me seriously, "We could spend our days telling each other our life stories. We could spend our nights having―having hot sex in this amazing hut out over the water."

"I can't go with you to Fiji."

"Why not? Why not? What do you have holding you here? You're tempted," he stares deeply into my eyes, "I know you're tempted."

I should've gone to Fiji.