*Squealing because I actually sat down and wrote this chapter for you all* Thank you all soooo much for sticking around even though I basically fell off the grid for two years. Hearing all of you guys's kind and supportive words really filled me with joy and helped me get back into the groove of writing again. So thank you, thank you, thank you soo much. You all make me so happy and I hope I can do the same with this chapter and all of my upcoming work too. With that said, I hope you enjoy your read and please, please, please review!

❥ Kae

Addison

After a few days off, I'm back at work and feeling refreshed. They say making it through the first anniversary is always the toughest and here I am. I guess that means I'm pretty fucking strong, don't you think? Sure, I thought about climbing over the fence and jumping off the roof of my house but I survived it. I couldn't do that to my babies anyway… They've already suffered the loss of one parent, I'll be damned if I willingly let them lose another…

Can you believe this time last year, we we're just getting to Seattle? And there was all of this chaos surrounding Amelia's wedding; Callie's and Arizona's custody battle. No one knew Jake was dead and Henry was still in denial about his father's death. I was pretending that I hadn't already fallen apart and no one looked at me like I was broken. Everything's changed now. People talk… and they stare and whisper about you as you walk down the hall. You hear rumors from interns about your past and the many reasons you weren't at work the past week. I used to not care what people think. My shell used to be tougher… Until I lost Jake and Derek and Mark and Pete… One by one they took a piece of my shell with them when they died and left me in pieces. I don't know if I'll ever recover.

"Dr. Montgomery?" a quiet voice calls out and I look up to see a familiar face.

I smile, quite surprised to see her here, "Hi, hello. It's been years. How are you?"

"I'm good… I'm great even," she grinned. "I wasn't expecting to see you here. Last time I read up on you, it said you were in Santa Monica… working at a private practice on the beach."

"I moved back to Seattle a year ago," I say with a shrug. "Speaking of, what brings you back here?"

"I was actually here for a quick surgery," she explained. "But you guys's Neonatal resident is out on maternity leave so Dr. Bailey asked me to stay for a couple of months."

"You specialized in Neonatal?"

"Well, I was told that I had a knack for it," she grinned. "Turns out my teacher was right."

"Smart woman, your teacher," I smirked. I knew she had it in her from the moment we first met. "I'm actually about to scrub in for surgery; Intestinal atresia and bowel resection. I'll see you in there?"

"Yes. Of course, Dr. Montgomery. Thank you," she beamed.

I smirked, "Glad to have you back, Stevens."

Over surgery, Izzie informed me that she'd been back in Seattle for at least a week. Alex has been avoiding her like the plague and she had brunch with Meredith when she first got here. I wonder why Meredith didn't tell me Izzie was back? Now that I think about it, I haven't heard from Meredith in about a week. That's unusual for her… I mean, she barged into my house after I didn't speak to her for one day. Scrubbing out of surgery, I watch Dr. Grey walk pass the scrub room and I hurry to finish cleaning before running out of the room to catch up with her.

"Dr. Grey! Meredith," I call out and as I come up on her I smile, "Hey. I mean, um, how are you?"

"I'm okay. I didn't realize you were back at work," she smiled softly.

I ran my hand through my hair, "Yeah, I just got back today. I, uh, thanks for coming by the other night. I don't know if I could've gotten through the rest of the night without you."

"Oh, it's nothing," she blushed. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Well, thank you anyway," I said with an awkward smile. "I, uh, well, I don't really have anything to say. I've just kind of gotten used to talking to you everyday…"

"Oh," she frowned. "That's my fault. I call myself giving you space. I feel like I overstepped that night. I was asking too many questions and I crossed boundaries… And if I ever made you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry."

"No," I shake my head, "it was nice having someone to talk to who isn't six years old and under every now and again. Callie's been busy with wedding planning, Amelia and Owen are fighting and you're my only other friend here."

"Way to make a girl feel special," she laughed.

I shook my head blushing, "You know that's not what I meant…"

"I know…" she trails off.

After an awkward pause, I speak up, "You, uh, didn't tell me Dr. Stevens was back."

"Yeah…"

"We should all grab a drink or something."

"Yeah, that would be great."

"Why are you being weird?" I asked shifting on my feet.

She shook her head quickly, "I'm not. I promise. Sorry, I, uh…"

She's cut off by her pager and tells me it's an emergency before making a dash down the hall. I know I was being weird because I was nervous that I ran her off… that I told this woman all of my secrets just for her to disappear on me. But I don't understand what Meredith has to be nervous about. She's not the one who told all of her secrets to her dead ex-husband's wife.

As my shift continued, I only see Meredith again once more today and that was only because she came onto the elevator as I was coming off. I don't understand why she's avoiding me. I already confronted her once today so I'll see if there's someone else I can question. I check the OR board and I see Meredith's name listed but I don't see Maggie's. They're sisters, meaning they talk, right?

I find Maggie in her office moments later and I smile standing in her open doorway. She notices me before I speak and waves me in.

"I'm just finishing up some paperwork then I'm all ears," she said as she scribbled unto the paper. "It's good to see you back. How was your week off?"

"It was… refreshing, for a lack of better words," I say softly as she finishes and closes her folder.

She looks back at me with a huge smile, "So, what's up? Did you need a consult?"

"Actually, no," I explain. "It's kind of not work related."

"Okay, shoot."

"Do you know why Meredith's avoiding me?"

"Uh…"

"We haven't spoken all week and today, the one time I saw her, she could barely look at me when we talked," I explain.

Maggie bites back her lip, "Well…"

"You know something?"

"Ellis fell a couple of days ago and scraped her knee."

"Oh, no. Is she okay?"

"She's fine. It's just, I was trying to console her but she kept crying for her mommy so I gave her to Meredith… But the crying didn't stop. Ellis kept crying for her mommy until she fell asleep. It had Meredith and I both stumped for a moment because well, her mom was there. Meredith was there. It wasn't until Zola asked us if she could have a tea party with her mommy this weekend that we realized Ellis was talking about you the whole time."

"I, uh, wow," I say speechless. We've spent so much time together over the past year that the babies are starting to get confused. "I don't know what to say. I mean, should I try to talk to her about it?; Try to smooth things over? How does Meredith feel about it?"

"I think she feels guilty," she explained. "She said something about letting the kids get too attached."

"Oh," I say taken aback. Maybe Meredith doesn't want me as her friend? I thought maybe there was just a little jealously over the Ellis incident but it actually sounds like she doesn't want me in their lives anymore, like she doesn't trust me.

Maggie must see the hurt on my face because she tries again, "Wait, I don't think she meant it that way… I feel like I'm making things worse. Just, just talk to her, okay? I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize for telling me the truth," I pause.

She frowns, "Addison, I…"

"No, really. It's fine," I say getting up to leave. "I'll talk to Meredith."

"Addison," she stops me before I walk all of the way out of her door. "I really don't think she meant it that way."

"I'm, uh, inviting a couple of people out for drinks later today at Joe's if you want to come by. I'm walking over at 8 after my shift," I finish, changing the subject.

Maggie smiles sadly and graciously accepts the topic change, "I'll be there."

The rest of my day was going fine. I haven't seen Meredith at all yet I've literally ran into Izzie twice since our surgery together this morning. Every time she ran into me was on her way to Alex who is actively avoiding her. I feel like he and Meredith may be in cahoots with each other… I paged her once to talk but Alex came in her place and was highly disappointed when I didn't have a need for him. His excuse earlier was that she was with a patient which I'm sure wasn't the case. I told him to forward along my message and she never got back to me.

Izzie, Maggie, Callie and I are all heading to Joe's in about twenty minutes. Arizona is planning on meeting us there after her surgery and I don't think Meredith is going to show. You know what? It doesn't matter. I don't need her as a friend. I'm over her and our friendship. I don't need anymore friends anyway. I have plenty and I'm not desperate for anyone's attention.

A quick shower and a comb through my hair, I'm dressed and walking out of the lobby a few minutes after eight. I hear my voice being shouted from behind me and I spin on my heels to see my best friend. I reach out to her in a huge hug, "Callie, I haven't seen you all day!"

"I know! I came in late to my shift and then all of my surgeries got pushed back later in the day," she explained as we walked in tandem to the bar. "I ended up doing back-to-back surgeries for the past seven hours."

"Your appointment was this morning, right?" I ask and she squeals. "So I take it that you two recieved good news."

"Yes!" she grins, "We've already started looking for donors and as soon as we pick one, we will start the insemination process during Arizona's next ovulation."

"Gosh, imagine if I was a normal person that you were talking about your ex-wife slash fiancee's uterus to…"

"Oh, hush," she laughed.

I opened the door to the bar to let us in, "Congrats, Callie! I'm so happy for you two."

"Also, I need a day from you this week," she said as I followed her to our favorite booth. "You have Maid of Honor duties to attend to."

"Aye, aye, captain," I smirk as our waitress comes over asking if we want our usual.

She brings over a couple of shots of gin for us and Callie makes two toasts to vaginas. I just giggle to myself but after a few more shoots, I'm toasting to vaginas along with her. The door to the bar clings open and we watch as Maggie and Izzie walk into the bar.

They both smile making their way over and Callie stands to hug them, "Come, sit. Drinks are on Addison tonight so drink up before she changes her mind."

"Oh, well then I'll have what you guys are having," Izzie spoke up first.

Maggie shrugged, "I'm just drinking wine tonight, ladies. I'm meeting up with Nathan after this."

"Dr. Riggs and you are an item?" Izzie asked and Maggie nodded.

The bartender comes over again and I ask for the entire bottle. Arizona's on her way and she's celebrating her surgery and the fact that her womb is in perfect condition yet we're barely tipsy at this point. By the time Arizona arrives, Izzie's caught up with us and we're on our eighth shot. Maggie's two glasses of wine in and giggling.

Arizona kisses Callie hard on the lips then turns her attention directly to me, "So, what are you guys drinking?"

"Shot first then I'll tell you."

"You and Callie really are best friends," she says grabbing the bottle and pouring her own shot.

Izzie speaks up quietly, "You guys, I have something to tell you… but you can't tell Meredith."

"What's wrong?" Callie immediately asks.

Izzie plays with her fingers, "I've been trying to tell Alex all week… I wanted to tell him first before I told anyone else. I know he'll freak out if he found out through the grapevine… It's just, he's been avoiding me and now I'm drunk… and I just have to tell somebody and you all are here…"

"Izzie, what is it?" I ask nervously.

She speaks up barely above a whisper, "My cancer's back… It's Stage IV and the only person who was bold enough to take on my tumor is dead."

"How long have you known?"

"A couple of months now? I've been all over the world trying to find someone to operate."

"Have you spoken to Amelia Shepherd? She's Derek but like, on crack," Callie suggested.

I explain, "Derek's… Amelia's brother."

It's silent for a moment as we look all look at Izzie's scans that she had saved on her phone, then we're all hashing out ideas about how to tackle it although none of us are neurosurgeons. We're all in a drunken haze by the time the infamous dirty blonde walks into the bar and up to our table.

"Sorry, I'm late," she smiled looking everywhere but in my direction. She grabs the bottle off the table and pours herself a couple of shots. After she downs everyone, she turns to Izzie and says, "Izzie, tell the table the secret you've been keeping from us."

"What?" she questions then looks to the rest of the table for help. "What is she talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, Izzie. You didn't just show up to Seattle for work," she said pouring up another shot. "Spill it. What's the real reason you're here?"

"Meredith, leave her alone," Maggie speaks up. "If there's another reason as to why she's in town, then she'll tell everyone when she's ready."

"And if that were true, then she wouldn't be the only one keeping secrets at this table," I can't help but say.

Meredith looks at me in shock and I just shrugged seeing that this is the first time she could look at me all day. She throws her hands up in defeat, "Fine, I'll drop it… for now."

"Great," I roll my eyes and turn my attention to Callie. "Our song is playing. Want to dance?"

"You didn't even have to ask," she smiles getting up and giving her wife a quick kiss before we head to the dance floor.

We're dancing but I can't help but notice Meredith stare at me. I roll my eyes at her and when I turn back to my friend, she's staring back at me with this look on her face. I question, "What?"

"I'm drunk, yes but I'm not dumb," she started. "You only pulled me over here to dance to make Meredith jealous."

"Oh, no," I deny. "Jealousy does not look good on me. I don't do that."

"Addie…"

"Fine," I sigh. "Meredith ghosted me. She barged into my house, had me tell her all of my secrets then just disappeared.

"That's some classic Scorpio shit."

"And at work today, she literally avoided me all day today and won't look me in my eyes."

"And you've tried to talk to her?"

"Yes!" I shake my head. "I'm over it. If she doesn't want to be my friend then so be it. I don't care."

"Oh, you so care," she says as we walk back over to our table when the song ends.

Maggie's the first to leave… Nathan came in, had a beer with us then took his lady on their way. Izzie leaves next probably trying to avoid being trapped here with Meredith and the four of us leave together. I say goodbye to Callie and Arizona then I start towards my car. I'm stopped immediately by Meredith walking in front of me waving.

"Okay, I'm ready to talk," she smiles.

I frown, shaking my head, "Let's not do this right now."

"What do you mean?"

"This conversation that you waited to have liquor courage for? Let's not do that."

"Why not?"

"Meredith Grey, I have a lot of things that I want to say to you right now and if I say it right now, there will be no filter."

"Oh, really? Well, what do you have to say Addison?" she crosses her arms looking up to me.

I shake my head as I walk past her, "I'm not in the mood… I asked to talk to you this morning. You actively avoided me until now. I have nothing I want to say to you now. It's done."

"What's done?"

"Our friendship," I say quietly. "If we even had that to begin with… Goodnight, Meredith."

Do you still love me even though I broke up our favorite friends? Who all guessed it was Izzie coming back? Were ya'll sad that it wasn't Cristina? Oh and the ultimate question: Jolex or Izzex? Go vote now on my profile page! Or tell me all about it below in the little rectangular thingy! ;)