Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight or any of its characters

Rated M: Sexual Themes

Chapter Nine

"Love shows no mercy to the weak"

Flashback

"Your heart is so kind, yet your touch is so cruel," Kaname moaned as he untangled himself from her. His entire spirit screamed its disapproval at his reluctance. Her eyes watched him curiously as he rearranged his clothing. The bulge in his pants was distracting as it demanded her attention. She blushed when she met his searching gaze. He seemed unfazed by her blatant stare and was unashamed by the reactions of his body. Why did he hold back? Zero surely wouldn't. She watched as his eyes flickered with an emotion that she couldn't quite grasp because as soon as she noticed it, it immediately left his face.

"Kaname-sempai?" She questioned nervously. Have I done something wrong? Does he not like me…that way?

"I'm sorry if I have offended you. I shouldn't have done that" She remarked after she averted her eyes and scooted over to allow him some space. He scoffed at her words.

"Offend me? You think you have offended me? No, never!" He shook his head as he ran his long fingers through her messy hair. She looked so adorable…so seductive. Her skin was dewy from his touch, her lips were ripe, and her voice was melodious. He groaned out of frustration as he tore his eyes away from her.

"Then why are you acting this way? I-I thought you wanted this…I thought…you wanted me."

Her voice was full of sadness and doubt and he cursed himself for making her feel that way. How can she not understand what she's doing to me? He felt his hands tremble by his side and he frowned at the thought that his self-control was receding him once again.

She brought her hand up tentatively to inspect the wound he had just given her. His gaze was making her body tremble, but she wasn't sure if it was a good sensation or a bad one. Being in his presence always made her thoughts hazy. He watched her reaction carefully and was pleased when she didn't appear to be afraid. He marveled at the two identical puncture marks on her flesh. They were already healing rapidly but he could still see traces of their pinkish remains. All was well again in his heart now that she had finally accepted him, wholeheartedly, as a vampire. He wondered how well she would accept the truth about her own origins— those revelations, he concluded, would have to wait.

"Yuuki, was I not clear earlier when I said that I have longed for you? Was I not clear when I said that I love you? How could you say such things?" He breathed, clearly pained by her confusion. She looked up at him, startled yet determined, as she crawled closer to him and cupped his face lovingly in her hands. It was then that it occurred to her how refreshed he looked. The bags under his eyes were gone and his unusually beautiful features looked even more striking.

"I just want to make sure that this is what you want. That I am what you want," She whispered as she eyed his lips longingly. He was fully aware of her arousal. He could taste her lust in her blood and it did wonders to his ego. She had climaxed just from the ancient act of him feasting from her and he was tortured by the thought of how she would be undone by an entirely different, but just as intimate, act. The love she held in her heart for him was abundant in her blood and each gulf of it had contributed to the weakening of his resolve. He had always found it difficult to resist her, but more so then ever now that he has tasted her blood.

"Why do you tease me the way you do, Yuuki?" He moaned again when she licked her lips nervously. Ever since he drank her blood, the atmosphere in the room had become suffocating. Each time she looked into his blood-stained eyes, she was overcome with temptations to do thing she wouldn't normally do. The most unusual of those desires was her persistent awareness of how elegant his long neck was. She had the urge to kiss it. To hold him; to caress him….to sink her tingling teeth into his flesh.

She gasped at the revolution and involuntarily brought her hand up to her mouth, as if it would suppress the temptation. What's happening to me? I am not a vampire!

"Yuuki, are you alright? Do you feel ill?" Kaname asked as he eyed her suspiciously. When she didn't reply, he wrapped his arms around her, as if he were consoling a child.

"Tell me what you are thinking about. Will you please, Yuuki?" He begged her as he laid her gently back down into his bed and covered them both with his white silk sheets. She didn't feel inclined to tell him of her desires. It was embarrassing. And surely, he would find them offensive. Why would a human girl have the same reaction as a vampire? How insulting. Blood was their only sustenance; it was not natural for them to resist something so fundamental to their health and well-being. Maybe that was why Kaname always looked so pained here at Cross academy. She couldn't remember if he had ever looked so fatigued when he had saved her so long ago. But then again, maybe she was too stupid to notice. It had never occurred to her that Zero was a vampire until he drank her blood. And all the signs were right under her nose. Her body shuddered as she reminisced on those days of the past.

"Yuuki?"

She was drawn back out of her thoughts when he planted a chaste kiss on her cheek.

"Come back to me" He whispered solemnly as he rubbed her soft arms.

"I know this is going to sound stupid…" She started. She wanted to focus on his beautiful eyes but she found she couldn't tear her gaze away from his neck. She bit her lip but hard enough to draw blood. Kaname watched it drip down as he waited patiently for her to continue. His fangs quivered with need and he felt his throat clench as if he were parched, but he quickly shoved the urges away.

"But I can't resist this urge…it's as if my body wants me to bite you too."

Kaname's eyes widened at her declaration. Is it possible that she's starting to remember everything? That's impossible. Juuri made sure to seal her memories away! He calmed his nerves as he leaned over and gently licked the blood off her lips.

"Kaname, the night of my birthday you said you wished that you would tell me about myself. What did you mean?"

That night had been plaguing her dreams. She couldn't stop thinking about the depth of sorrow in his eyes. He looked as if she had forgotten something important— something rudimentary about her very existence. It troubled her greatly.

"I want nothing more in this world than to tell you about that, Yuuki. And I will, when I feel as if you are ready to handle the truth"

She pushed away from his body and sat up abruptly. I must be stupid to think he would actually tell me the truth for once!

"Stop treating me as a child! Stop lying to me! Ever since I was a little girl all you guys have ever done is hide things from me. Guess what? I'm not a little girl anymore. You can't protect me forever Kaname! I'm tired of this. I don't want to be treated this way anymore!" She screamed as she aggressively wiped her tears from her eyes. Kaname felt his heart break as he allowed her to pound her fists against his chest in frustration. He wanted nothing to do with her pain, and yet his actions were the cause of it all. He felt as if he were in an everlasting paradox and Yuuki was by far, his only remedy. It felt as if she had shot him in his chest when she proclaimed that he could not protect her. He was not invincible. But no matter how strong the blood that ran rampant in his body made this vessel out to be— he would always be what he needed to be when it involved the one and only girl dear to him. That was a fact.

"You are right Yuuki. You are not a child. Far from it. I only wish to do what's best for you. The only thing I long for is your happiness." She glared at him angrily and they both were shocked by the crackled sound of her hand contacting his cheek. He welcomed the pain and eyed her wearily as she spat out,

"If you want to make me happy so bad, then tell me the truth!"

He lowered his saddened red-brown eyes in defeat as he repeated,

"I cannot. Not yet. Please try to understand Yuuki…"

She shoved the sheets off her body, overcome with pent up anger and neglected frustration.

"I hate you!" She whispered as she wandered out of his room. And he let her leave.

She will come back to me when she is ready…

Or so he hoped.

Author Note: I'd like to hear your thoughts on my story so far. I went back and re-watched the series to brush back up on their mannerisms and their personalities. Let me know if I'm doing a good job. Review, don't review. You can do whatever you like.

*Response to Review*

jessielee14- I always smile when I read your reviews. It always makes my day. There will be one more chapter that leads up to the trial, so look out for the notification. 😊

monsterpaws- Thank you for taking the time to review! I am aware of the grammatical errors and I plan on revising those chapter. I proofread my chapters so often when I write them in word document that I'm disturbed when I read the errors in my story. I recently discovered that when I convert my story to the document manager that sometimes not everything converts exactly as I wrote it. I have been making a conscious effort to correct that before I post. Thanks again for reminding me! I'm glad that you are enjoying "Refuse to Lose". I appreciate all your compliments and they mean a lot to me. You will find that I will be answering some of your questions in the future chapters.