Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Naruto or RWBY franchises. Comments/Criticism is fine as long as it isn't just hate or flaming
Thanks for reading and please enjoy
Reality Viewing: Nora's a Mommy
-Chapter 3-
"Yes… I know that… sir you really need too… well no but…" Back within a certain dorm common room, one Glynda Goodwitch could be found pacing back and forth as talked to someone on her scroll, a talk which was clearly not going well if the growing frustration on her face was to go by. "Yes I understand… alright… I'll stay here until then sir."
Clicking her scroll shut, the blonde professor sighed in exasperation while retaking her seat, completely oblivious to the nervous looks she was getting from the members of Team RWBY and JNPR.
"Soooo… is Professor Ozpin not coming or something?" Yang asked after a few moments of awkward silence passed, cautiously peeking out from behind her meat shield otherwise known as her little sister as she spoke.
"Not until he is finished with his meeting," Glynda stated bluntly as she swiftly took on her normal professional demeanor once more, although a noticeable tinge of annoyance bled in her voice while she spoke. "For the time being though I am to remain here and observe the situation in case of any further developments."
"Oh! Oh! Does that mean-"
"Yes Ms. Valkyrie, you may start the next episode now." The blonde cut said hyper orangette off with a dry look which was completely ignored.
"YES! It's about time!" Nora exclaimed excitedly, remote already in hand as she quickly flicked down the selection list to the third chapter and hit the start button.
-Baths, Bubbles, and a Broken Window-
"Well this bodes well already." Wiess couldn't help but mutter sarcastically the moment that title popped up on the screen.
-Team JNPR Bathroom-
"That should keep them out." Nora said happily as she finished barricading the door with everything she could find, which wasn't easy considering she was still wrapped up in Naruto's tails as he clung to her side.
"How DID she do that? Her arms are practically tied to her waist." Blake pointed out with a raised brow as she turned to the 'real' orangette, who smirked playfully in response and wagged a finger.
"Now that'd be telling~."
"Never underestimate the capabilities of a determined Nora." Ren added with a shake of his head whilst Jaune and Pyrrha just nodded in agreement.
The bathroom itself was moderately sized, with a large tub/shower that had a variety of shampoos, conditioners, soaps, and body washes.
The toilet sat to the left with a fluffy pink seat cover, a sink on the right with a large mirror and multiple toothbrushes, and the cabinet for towels and such which had been moved in front of the door. The barricade was quickly put to the test as the door shook from heavy knocking. "Nora! Come out here so we can talk about this like reasonable adults!" Pyrrha's voice rang through the door.
Snickering not so softly to herself, Yang reached over and patted Pyrrha's shoulder with a joking look of sympathy. "You do know there is such a thing as hoping for too much, right Red?"
"…Yeah." The redhead mumbled with a defeated sigh before bursting into giggles alongside the busty bombshell brawler.
"Oh come on guys, now your just being mean." Nora grumbled while shooting the pair a dour look, only to end up proving their point even further when she crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air with a childish huff when they just giggled even louder.
"No! If we take Naruto to the cops, they'll put him in an orphanage! And you know what's been happening to the faunus in those!" Nora said adamantly.
"Do you know what she's talking about Blake?" Ruby asked her teammate quietly, sidling closer to the cat-girl in disguise as she spoke.
"Not for sure, but I have a few ideas." Blake stated, a few less than pleasant thoughts flickering through her mind while she sipped at a can of tea she got from… somewhere.
"Hey! That was put to a stop!" Weiss's voice called back, though it didn't hold her usual sass and conviction in it. Six months ago, a board member of the Schnee Dust Company had been caught and arrested for smuggling faunus children out of orphanages and into dust mines to act as cheap labor.
*Pfffffffffffffffffft* "What the fuck did I just hear?!" Blake demanded after the spit take of the century, her expression turning absolutely livid while her bow twitched wildly and the can in her grasp was crushed, further splattering tea everywhere.
Not that anyone else noticed as they all stared at the television in shock and disbelief, none more so than a certain Schnee heiress who's eyes looked like they were about to pop right out of her skull from how wide they were.
"T-that's… how could… I c-can't even… it's just…" Ruby stuttered out incoherently until Yang pulled her into a hug and started rubbing the top of her head.
"Of all the absolutely revoltingly despicable things I've heard, that is by far one of the worst." Glynda muttered in disgust, nearly bending her riding crop in half from how angry she was getting.
It had been a huge blow to the company's image, with dozens of news sources spreading the debacle across the four kingdoms. Not to mention it sent the White Fang into a frenzy as many members of the now terrorist organization retaliated almost immediately. Nearly a hundred suicide bombings had been committed on SDC property, with almost two dozen managing to hit the Schnee Manor itself.
"Oh my…" Pyrrha muttered softly as various clips played out on screen, ranging from massive mobs of people waving Anti-Schnee and Faunus Rights signs to the aftermath of the bombings.
A horrified gasp escaped Weiss's lips when one clip showed her home, the Schnee Manor, riddled with blast zones. The wall and fencing around the building had a multitude of holes blown through it on pretty much every side and over a third of the building itself had been reduced to nothing more than smoldering rubble.
All in all it was an utter wreck and the white haired heiress couldn't help but sniffle sadly at seeing her family home in such a state, even as the logical part of her brain tried to remind her that it wasn't real.
At the same time, Blake's soon found her righteous fury being gradually replaced with sadness as more and more of the clips played, showing the full scope of retaliation the White Fang had wrought. Stores, shops, shipping yards, pretty much anything that had even a remote connection to the Schnee Dust Company had been attacked or boycotted in some way.
Jacques Schnee, the current president of the SDC, managed to spin himself off as a victim, claiming to have no clue to what his subordinate had been doing. Even allowing the police to thoroughly investigate the matter, but still left much bad publicity for the company to deal with.
"Understatement of the fricking century there," Yang scoffed as she kept petting Ruby's head. "The fact they're still in business after something like that is a miracle in itself."
"One of the benefits of being so deeply engrained into the economy, they cannot simply be closed otherwise all the Kingdoms would suffer from severe Dust Shortages alone." Pyrrha said whilst Blake reluctantly nodded in agreement with a scowl.
Statistically speaking the Schnee Dust Company were involved in not only almost seventy percent of all Dust sales and trade but over a third of all business in general throughout Remnant, ranging from home products to weapons and ammo. So shutting them down out of the blue would effectively send the entire economy for all the Kingdoms spiraling down the toilet, much to the ravenette's chagrin.
"Okay, I get your reluctance Nora! But we still have to notify the authorities! You'll be sent to jail if you try to keep Naruto without doing so!" Ren's voice spoke this time as he tried to reason with his oldest friend.
"Ren, I trust your opinion on a lot of things, but I'm sticking with my decision with this!"
"Yeah, what I said." Nora stated as she crossed her arms adamantly, making Ren sigh with a facepalm.
"I'm not gonna even bother…"
When she finished speaking, Nora gently shook Naruto causing him to stir. "Zzzz… wha…" Groggily waking up, his tails quickly unwound themselves as he moved to rub his eyes, only not falling to the floor thanks to Nora grabbing onto him as he started to slide down. "Orange lady? It's too *Yaaawn* too early …five more minutes." He started to drift back to sleep but Nora gave him another shake causing him to give her a cute glare as his cheeks puffed out.
"Awwwww, he looks so cute," Ruby couldn't help but gush as the nine-tailed child's adorably pouting face appeared on screen. "I just want to hug him and cuddle with him and pet his head and snuggle with his tails…"
As the raven-redhead rambled on, many of the watching group couldn't help but sigh or slump in relief at the change of topic, the once dark mood lifting away. However, not a few moments later a certain blonde brawler gained a mischievous smirk before getting everyone's attention when she gasped overdramatically and looped an arm over Ruby's shoulders.
"Oh Ruby, why didn't you tell me you were into younger guys?" Yang asked in a joking serious tone, making her sister freeze up in her grasp and gain a blush the same color as her cloak. "Or is it because of the tails? Is that it Rubes? Are you into fluff-"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAANG!?" Ruby screeched at the top of her lungs, wrenching herself free before whirling around and raining down punches on the busty bombshell with embarrassed-fueled fury. Unfortunately for the cloaked teen, all this did was make Yang laugh as she effortlessly held her sister back with one hand.
"Hahahahha! I'm not hearing a denial~!"
This went on for several moments, with Yang continuing to tease, taunt, and goad Ruby with double-entendres between peals of laughter whilst the raven-redhead tried and failed to pummel her sister into oblivion. However, whilst the rest of the group were thankful for the lighthearted reprieve after the mother of all emotional bombs being dropped, after five nonstop minutes of the siblings' antics they soon started to grate on some nerves, especially for a witch-themed professor otherwise known as Glynda.
*Thwack* *ThwacK* "Ow!" "Youchie!" Both girls yelped in pain as they were swatted upside the head by the annoyed teacher.
"Aw come on, was that really necessary Professor?" Yang asked as she rubbed the rapidly growing lump on her head.
"Yes, yes it was." Glynda stated without hesitation while tapping the palm of her hand with the end of her riding crop.
"Sorry little foxy, but you need a bath." Nora told him causing him to drop his glare in favor of a pout. Setting him onto the toilet with the seat down, she giggled softly as he continued to pout before tapping his nose with her finger. "Boop!"
She giggled much louder at the boy's baffled expression, before going over to the tub and turning on the faucet.
"Hehe, he's acting just like a confused kitten." Pyrrha mumbled while covering her mouth in a failed attempt to stifle the giggle that escaped her lips.
"Indeed." Glynda stated, her lips curled upwards ever so slightly at the cuteness.
Both Ren and Nora smiled to themselves knowingly, well aware of the more personal meaning behind that innocent gesture.
Running the water over her hand until it was at the right temperature, she popped the plug in and let the tub start filling as she dropped in a lavender bath bomb, which quickly filled it with purple tinged bubbles.
*Bang, Bang, Bang* Come on Nora! You really need to open this door right now!" This time it was Jaune who spoke, "…We have panca-"
"JAUNE! I WILL BREAK BOTH YOUR LEGS IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!"
"Y-y-y-yes M-m-m-Ma'am!" You do not use her favorite food against her like that… ever.
"Hmph, damn right you don't." The hammer user said with crossed arms as she glowered at her team leader, who promptly held his hands up in surrender.
"Other me Nora! Other me!"
Seeing the confused expression on Naruto's face, Nora simply said, "My friends are being stupid." Before turning the tap off since the tub was full and going back to the boy. "Now come on, time to get you out of those dirty clothes." Grabbing the bottom of his shirt, it was an easy matter of pulling it over his head and off, re-revealing the large black sun-like tattoo that covered the majority of his stomach.
"What in the… what kind of barbaric moron would give such a young child tattoos?" Glynda demanded, her eyes widening briefly in surprise when the markings were revealed before narrowing as a scowl marred her lips.
"We think he may be from one of the outer island settlements of Mistral professor, so it's most likely from a local custom." The ever helpful Pyrrha chipped in, getting the professor to pause with a thoughtful expression.
"Hmmm, ah yes, I do believe Oobleck mentioned it before, something about supposedly helping ward off the Grimm if I'm not mistaken." She muttered after thinking it over for a few moments, although her frown remained. Custom or not, she did not like the idea of a child being forced to deal with the painful procedure of getting a tattoo, especially on an area as sensitive as the stomach.
The pants on the other hand were a much bigger issue. Turns out that almost the entirety of the upper half of the back of his shorts were gone so that his tails could fit through without issue. This also meant she had to go through the tedious process of pulling each tail out one at a time, though it was interesting for her to see how all his tails were seemingly compacted together at their base into a single mass, about five inches or so wide, that connected them to his backside. When she did, she pulled his shorts and boxers off, cringing slightly as the horrible odor from built up sweat and dried crap wafted into her nose, and dropping them into a pile with his shirt.
"The filth aside I will admit those tails are quite fascinating," Weiss said as she looked at said lengths of fluff curiously, doing her best to repress the revulsion she felt from the matted on filth and the described smell. "I mean, I've never even heard of a Faunus having multiple tails before. It makes me wonder how and why, don't you agree professor?"
"Indeed, I don't think I can recall any mentions of such individuals either." Glynda said with negative shake of her head.
"Well, there is the Lovestead* fable," This statement got more than a few raised eyebrows as everyone turned to Blake, the one who had spoken. "It's just a dumb made up story, but it implies that any faunus born with multiple traits is due to… close familial relations."
The moment these words left the disguised Faunus's lips, grossed out and disgusted looks appeared almost everyone else's faces as they quickly got what she was talking about.
"What?" …Except for Ruby that is.
"I'll explain it to you later Rubes." Yang told her sister casually… while crossing her fingers from both hands behind her back because there was no way she was having THAT conversation. Ever.
Lifting the now naked child off the toilet, she brought him over to the tub and slowly set him into the water, noting how his expression changed from dread to surprise, then into confusion before settling on relaxed. 'By his reaction, he was probably expecting it to be freezing cold,' She thought with a small frown as she grabbed a small wash rag, lathered it up, and started scrubbing.
The more she learned about this kid, the more pity she felt for him.
Psychologist she may not be, but to be an effective fighter, one had to be able to get a read on a person quickly and Naruto was practically an open book for her. He was clearly an orphan, likely starved for attention based on the way he trusted her so fast despite just meeting, and judging by the faint lines of discolored skin she was finding all over his body as she washed the dirt off and his barely suppressed flinching, abused.
A somber silence filled the room once more while everyone watched with a mixture of sadness and sympathy as the grime and dirt was washed away from the child's form, thus revealing the various scars it once hid. Some appeared to be claw or bite marks, likely from either wild animals or worse Grimm, while others were simply to clean to be from anything other than a blade, such as the thin line stretching across his chest.
Scrubbing his cheeks clean, her frown grew deeper as she found more tattoos underneath all the dirt and grime. Three thin parallel lines were situated on each cheek, giving him the appearance of having whiskers. She had no idea what the sun tattoo was for, but she could guess the whiskers were there as a kind of taunt towards the boy to make him feel even less human.
Blake clenched her fists in anger upon coming to the same conclusion but otherwise chose not to comment, doing her best to keep her temper under check by reminding herself that this had not actually happened.
…Right?
Shaking off the dark thoughts for now, Nora smiled as she intentionally tickled his belly while washing it, getting Naruto to giggle loudly as he squirmed. "Hahahahaha! Stop it, hahah, that, haha, that tickles!"
"Hmph, looks like the tickling terror strikes once again." Ren stated with a soft nostalgic chuckle whilst Nora burst into giggles before talking a faux serious pose.
"Fear me for I will tickle you till you laugh yourself silly~!"
"Never!" Dropping the rag, she started tickling him with a renewed fury, getting loud squeals of laughter from him. So focused on tickling the blonde, Nora forgot about his nine extra appendages until one wrapped itself around her waist causing her to pause.
"… …Uh-oh." *Splash*
The tail yanked her into the tub, splashing water all over the room as she went under. Resurfacing a few seconds later, she spat out the soapy water caught in her mouth before getting tackled by the fox-boy. "Revenge!" This time, Nora was the one laughing like crazy as Naruto managed to get his small hands under her armpits and start wiggling his fingers against the ticklish areas.
"Gah! What's this!?" Nora exclaimed overdramatically in fake shock. "Can it be? Is it so? Has the Tickling Terror been dethroned?"
Decidign to play along, Pyrrha barely managed to keep a straight face as she patted her teammate on the back 'sympathetically'. "So it would seem Nora, so it would seem."
'Wow, now this brings back some memories.' Meanwhile, a smile worked its way back onto Ruby's lips while she watched the orange and blonde duo playing around in the bathtub. For a few moments the raven-redhead could almost see the pair being replaced with herself and Yang when they were younger, playfully tumbling and roughhousing as they washed up after a long day of school and training.
She wasn't the only one thinking of such either apparently as Yang gently pulled Ruby into a deeper hug while resting her chip atop the little reaper's head with a smile of her own.
Flailing around wildly, Nora just managed to grasp Naruto by the waist and pull him off of her. "Okay, that's enough goofing around for now, gotta finish getting you cleaned up," Nora said as she placed the boy down on the opposite side of the tub, facing him away from her. Nora grabbed a pink bottle of shampoo in one hand while gently grasping one of the multiple tails with the other, noting to herself how the boy stiffened up slightly from the contact. She made sure the entire tail was soaked with water before squeezing a decent amount of shampoo onto the fluffy limb and started lathering it up.
Repeating the process with the other eight tails and his hair, Nora tossed the now empty bottle into the trash as she stood up and pulled the plug, allowing the water to drain from the tub as she switched on the shower.
"Yeesh, I know we were kidding about it earlier but seriously, an entire bottle of shampoo for just one bath? It's gonna cost the poor guy a literal fortune just to stay clean." Jaune said, getting a round of nods and agreements from the others, especially Yang and Weiss whom could sympathize due to their long hair needing a lot of care.
Grabbing the shower head, she pulled it off the wall revealing the long, retractable hose as she quickly rinsed herself off before kneeling down to Naruto's height.
After making sure to thoroughly wash off all of the shampoo, she reattached the shower head to the wall, switched it off, and grabbed a bottle of conditioner. "This will have to sit for a little bit, so try not to move too much, okay?" She explained while rubbing the oily substance onto his head, getting a slow nod.
'Hmm, wonder why the other haven't tried anything yet.' Nora thought as she waited for the conditioner to work, occasionally glancing at the blocked door.
"Good point other me," Nora said with a nod, rubbing her chin in thought as she turned to the watching group. "I know Renny would wait a bit to let me cool down but the rest of you guys should have totally tried something by now."
"Gotta agree with you there, normally I would have just knocked the door down, it's what I did anytime Rubes locked herself in the bathroom at home when she tried putting on my makeup anyway." Yang said offhandedly while Ruby sank into her cloak in embarrassment.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!"
"Well maybe this version of you actually read the introductory pamphlet," Weiss stated sarcastically while pulling out said pamphlet from a nearby table and shoving it into the blonde's arms. "Then at least she'd know that all the doors in Beacon are reinforced for the students' safety and privacy."
Blinking in surprise, Yang idly flipped through the paper curiously. "Huh, I didn't know we had a Sauna room on the other side of the pool."
"Wait, really?" Nora asked as she and Ruby started reading over the blonde's shoulder, making Weiss facepalm with an aggravated groan.
She had honestly expected them to try and knock the door down by now and yet it had been completely quie-
*CRASH* "What the hell!?"
Nora and Naruto nearly jumped out of their skin as the sound of breaking glass and yelling echoed in from the other room.
All of teams RWBY and JNPR had similar reactions, with Ruby taking cover behind Yang, Jaune and Pyrrha falling out of their seats after accidentally knocking their heads together, and Weiss almost following after if Blake didn't catch the hem of her dress.
"…Owww…"
"Sorry!" Pyrrha exclaimed as she hopped up and helped her still dazed team leader/oblivious crush back to his seat, wincing slightly when she saw the not-so-small welt on the young man's noggin thanks to her circlet.
Even Glynda couldn't help but flinch slightly, albeit almost unnoticeably, in surprise before quickly regaining her composure as she sighed. "Do I even want to know what that was?"
"Probably not, but let's find out anyways." Yang chipped in after recovering from her own shock, which only made the professor sigh again.
-Team JNPR Bedroom, Fifteen minutes earlier-
Jaune banged on the bathroom door as everyone else minus Yang and Ruby stood behind him. "Come on Nora! We really need you to open this door right now!" He yelled, only to be met with silence. "…we have panca-!"
"JAUNE! I WILL BREAK BOTH OF YOUR LEGS IF YOU DO NOT SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!"
"Y-y-yes M-m-m-m-Ma'am!" Jaune stuttered out, backing away from the door so fast that he bumped into one of the beds and fell over.
"I told you that would not work." Ren said with a dull look as he watched Pyrrha help the floundering blonde to his feet.
"Déjà vu." Weiss stated dryly as she looked from the blond-redhead duo on screen and then to the pair in the room with her with a dull gaze.
"Well it was the only idea I had left. Now what do we do?" Jaune asked.
"We could break the door down." Yang suggested while walking in the room, Ember Celica now on her wrists, Ruby right behind her with Crescent Rose in its compact state.
"No, we can't," Weiss said. "All the doors are reinforced for safety and privacy. You'd risk hurting the child to do so." Yang and Ruby deflated at this.
"Awwww, sorry Cressy, no fun for you tonight," Ruby told her weapon with a pout as she down on Nora's bed and started rocking it like a baby, not noticing the odd looks she was getting from everyone except Yang.
"Ms. Rose, Ms. Xiao Long, I do hope that your counterparts are not implying that destroying school property is… fun." Glynda said in a stern tone while fixing the siblings with an equally stern look that caused them both to start sweating heavily.
"N-no ma'am!" "Not at a-all professor!"
"Good."
"Maybe we should say we have pan-"
"Already tried that, didn't end well." Jaune cut the bodacious blonde off, getting her to snap her fingers.
Now it was Jaune's turn to start cowering in fear again as Nora once more glowered at him and Yang for having the audacity to even consider using something as sacred as pancakes against her.
Everyone paused as they heard laughter and splashing coming from the bathroom. For a minute or so, they just sat/stood there in silence as they heard the happy squeals. Pyrrha was the first one to snap back to reality, sighing to herself as she walked over to her bed and grabbed her scroll. This action snapped the rest of the group out of their trance and made them all look to her as she started rifling through her contacts.
"Uh, Pyrrha, what are you doing?" Ruby asked.
"What we should have done from the start, I'm calling Professor Goodwitch and reporting this."
"At three o'clock in the morning?" Blake asked in her normal casually sarcastic tone while glancing at the clock hanging on the wall.
"I'm sure she'd understand once I'd explained the situation." "I'm sure she'll understand once I explain the situation." Pyrrha said firmly as she found the teacher's number and hit the call button.
"Ha, talk about hearing in stereo." Yang punned with a chuckle as both Pyrrha's ended up saying almost the exact same thing at the same time, making the 'real' one smile sheepishly as she scratched the back of her head.
*riiiiing* … *riiiing*
Everyone found themselves watching with bated breath as the scroll rang. Seconds crawled by as each ring sounded out. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, there was a soft clicking as the scroll connected and Glynda's face appeared on screen. "Hello, 'Glynda Goodwitch' is currently unable to answer at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep." *Beep* "Message box is full."
"Damn it," Pyrrha grumbled as she closed the scroll and plopped onto her bed. "Well, Professor Goodwitch is a very busy person, she's probably just enjoying a good night's rest as we speak."
-With Glynda-
"OF ALL THE BONE HEAD, DUMBASS, IDIOTIC THINGS YOU COULD HAVE DONE! YOU LOST HIM!?" Glynda yelled as she towered over the cowering Qrow and Ozpin.
"EEEP!" "YIKES!" "Holy crap!" "AAAH!" Once more chaos erupted through the room as everyone aside from Glynda herself jumped in terror when the witch-themed woman's counterpart enraged face suddenly appeared on screen with a sharp dramatic note.
Weiss somehow ended up being held in a bridal carry by Blake when she jumped out of her seat, neither of them sure exactly how that happened, Jaune once more fell out of his seat, and Nora dove behind the couch with Ren in tow. At the same time, Yang hid behind Ruby who in turn grabbed Pyrrha to use as meat shield from the scary teacher on screen.
"N-now now, Glynda, t-there i-i-is a per-perfectly reasonable e-e-explanation." Ozpin stuttered with his hands held up in surrender as he tried to pacify his raging subordinate.
"DON'T YOU 'REASONABLE EXPLANATION' THIS! YOU WILL GET OFF YOUR LAZY, HOT COCOA DRINKING ASS, GET OUT THERE, AND FIX THIS MESS RIGHT NOW!"
Without giving either of them a chance to speak again, Glynda flicked her riding crop at them and the two men were sent flying out of the nearest window with a scream.
'…She just threw the headmaster of Beacon out a fifteen-story window.' Weiss thought in disbelief once she'd recovered from her earlier shock, unknowingly mirroring the rest of her team's thoughts and barely noticing as Blake tossed her back into her own seat.
Taking a few deep breathes, the busty blonde teacher heard a slight beeping coming from her pocket and pulled out her scroll to see she had missed a call.
"What in Oum's name does Ms. Nikos need at three o'clock in the morning?" She asked herself before shaking her head and refocusing on the current situation.
'I'm pretty sure I just dodged a bullet there.' Pyrrha thought with a shiver.
-Back to the others-
"Yeah, you're probably right."
"Well, I guess the only thing left is to just wait it out," Yang said while clapping her hands together, and started walking to the door. "I'm going to call it a night for now, not like the solution to this is going to just come waltzing in the door." And she was right, the answer did not come in through the door…
*CRASH* "What the hell!?"
…It came in through the window.
Everyone was baffled as they stared at the two men who had just crashed through Team JNPR's dorm window and onto the floor in a tangled mess of limbs. One everybody recognized immediately as the headmaster of Beacon Academy, Ozpin, while only two of the group knew who the second man was.
"Uncle Qrow!?" Ruby and Yang yelled in sync as the two men untangled themselves and stood up.
"Damn, nice shot professor," Yang said as she let out a low impressed whistle. "Have you ever considered taking up golf? Because that was one hell of a hole in one."
"I'm more partial to billiards actually," Glynda retorted with a wave of her hand, before her eyebrow twitched when the busty brawler started looking at her funny. "What? Is there something wrong with me having a hobby?"
"Of course not professor Goodwitch! It's just…" Yang quickly said with her hands raised up in surrender, only to trail off when a mental image of Glynda playing a game of pool at a bar popped in her head, bent over the table to line up her shot with a beer by her side-
*Thwack* "Ow! What was that for?" The younger blonde demanded, rubbing the newly formed welt atop her noggin while her teacher stared at her blandly.
"I know exactly what you are thinking and you are going to stop thinking it right now."
"Heya brats, how's it going?" Qrow asked casually, like he didn't just come flying into the room via window, only to get glomped by the two girls as they started talking at the same time.
"What are you doing here?"
"Did you miss me?"
"When did you get here?"
"Are you gonna teach me a new move?"
"You wouldn't believe what happened in the last hour."
"We gotta show you some-!" Qrow covered both of their mouths with his hands, effectively muting them.
"Sorry, would love to stay and chat but me and Ozzy here have a job to do." He told them bluntly before pulling his hands back.
"He is correct," Ozpins said as he dusted himself off and accepted his cane from Pyrrha with a nod of thanks, "We have to get going, but may I ask what you all are doing up at this hour, and why is Ms. Valkyrie not present?"
"She's barricaded in the bathroom, giving a bath to a faunus kid she found on campus and now wants to adopt." Blake told them bluntly getting blinks of surprise.
"…"
"That does sound pretty bad out of context, huh?" Nora mumbled with an awkward smile on her lips, which only grew as the 'real' Blake stared at her with a solid 'no shit sherlock' deadpan.
"… He wouldn't happen to be about this tall, blonde, nine red tails, and love to eat dust, would he?" Qrow asked while holding his hand at hip height, getting baffled looks from all the teens.
"Well that confirms that mystery at least," Weiss said as the 'End of Chapter' notice appeared before returning to the selection screen. "Looks like you were right again Ruby."
Blushes sheepishly at the praise, Ruby was about to wave it off as nothing but was cut off when Yang pulled her into a bear hug with a cheer, smooshing the poor girl's face right into her bust. "Yeah, two for two so far, go sis!"
"Mmmmph!"
"That was certainly an… intense episode though," Ren muttered as he thought back towards the start with the child mine incident while Weiss flinched and Blake scowled heavily at the reminder. "Certainly did not see that coming."
"No kidding." Pyrrha said with a frown marring her lips, the mere thought of someone doing such a thing making her want to punch something.
"Oh my," A new voice suddenly chipped in, catching everyone's attention as they turned towards the source to see none other than Professor Ozpin standing at the doorway with his ever-iconic cup of coffee in hand. "It would seem I missed something pretty important, haven't I?"
-End Chapter-
AN: Fun-fact, around the same time I posted the second chapter of this story an animator on Youtube posted a fan video called World of Remnant: Lovestead, which was apparently so convincing that a couple people thought it was canon and complained about how me giving Naruto multiple tails meant he was inbred. It was thankfully cleared up real quick but I thought it'd be neat to throw in a brief mention of it for nostalgias sake. For those of you who might be more curious to understand the full context, the video is still up on Youtube so feel free to go check it out for yourself.
Thanks for reading and please review.