Breather A: The Lives of Linchpins

Greetings, observers beyond our plane of existence. I, Dr. Lisa Loud, would like to take some time to deviate from your irregularly scheduled narrative to introduce the first of several "breather" chapters to bring some sense of levity. In my humble opinion, this could just be a manifestation of the author's attempts at creativity. The purpose of these vignettes is to explore aspects and events surroundings characters at different points in the timeline. And our first foray hearkens back to the start of the summer portion of this year's seasonal cycle, when I invited both my literal and figurative male sibling units, known as Lincoln and Lee respectively, to talk about a then-recent breakthrough.

– –06/2012– –

Lee and Lincoln found themselves staring at the door with a biohazard sign on it, a signifier of the room's inhabitant that called for their presence.

"You open it," Lee told his younger compatriot.

"I'm not opening it," Lincoln combated. "You do it."

"It's your house."

"You're the guest."

"You know what, let's just play rock-paper-scissors for it," Lee declared while getting his right hand ready for "battle".

"You're on!" Lincoln returned in kind.

"By Newton's laws of motion, I'll just grant you entry if it means we can finally proceed," grumbled a lisped voice from inside the room. The door finally opened to reveal the voice's owner, the diminutive girl whose large glasses emphasized her frustration.

"Please don't let this be another one of your experiments," Lee pleaded.

"I don't think I could go through anything like the last one," Lincoln added with a shudder.

"Perish the thought," Lisa played off the assumption. "Why would you assume that's the only reason I've requested your presence?"

"That's literally the only reason you've called anyone here," Lee pointed out with he and Lincoln sharing the same blank expression.

"I guess the only fault in that sentence is the misuse of the adverb 'literally' that you seem to share with my eldest sibling unit," the young scientist admitted. "I promise you that this doesn't require the pair of you to be my test subjects, at least not physically."

This seemed to put the boys at ease as they walked into the room that was mostly Lisa's laboratory. Taking their seats on a couple of fold-out chairs in front of her desk, they waited for their genius host to do something that would be beyond their comprehension.

Lisa's first act involved taking out a remote-control device which she then used to desk to transform into a massive computer that seemed to come straight out of a sci-fi show. The screen of the high-end device created a bizarre astronomical spatial map with certain spots glowing.

"While my classmates were occupied with learning their colors, numbers, and months, I've been on the thankless quest of unraveling the secrets of the universe. This research has led me to uncover the reality that is the multiverse." The screen's map was magnified to show various versions of Earth scrolling across it; most seemed to branch off from a select few.

"In order to make sense of this revelation, I superimposed the near googolplex of worlds that were most similar to ours and generated markers indicating certain individuals that have the biggest probabilities of enacting great changes." To visualize this, the many Earths were merged into one with various glowing dots across the globe with the largest concentration in North America.

"With my curiosity at its peak, I looked into a select few of these individuals and came to a few startling conclusions." The screen flipped to a variety of faces with their first initials & surnames written next to them before stopping at the very faces of the two young men in the room. "Firstly, both of you are among these universal linchpins, as well as our families to an extent."

"We're that important to the multiverse?" Lee murmured. "I definitely don't feel like I am."

"Yeah, Lisa," Lincoln piped up. "We're just kids. What's so special about us?"

"Those were some of my outstanding questions, which led me to investigate some of our 'neighbors' to see what made them worthy of significance," Lisa began to explain, changing the screen to show the faces of a boy and girl of Caucasian persuasion who looked very similar. "For example, the twin subjects known by their shared initials M. Pines are currently spending their summer vacation in a rural town within Oregon home of oddities that I'm struggling to unravel. It's highly probable that their presence will have a domino effect on all life present, both natural and supernatural if Lucy is to be believed."

"Wait a minute," Lincoln interrupted. "Lucy knows about this?"

"Indeed," Lisa confirmed. "Her insight was necessary to fill in some of the gaps that logic failed to satisfy."

"You should've seen her face when she came for my help." Lee and Lincoln jumped from their seats when they heard the voice of the gothic Loud girl.

"How long were you there?!" Lee asked in a panic.

"I've been here since you entered," Lucy answered. "I was curious about how my contributions would be presented."

"Of course, elder sibling unit," Lisa tried to get back on track. "It was through your insight that I was able to determine the fate of the next subject." The screen switched to the face of a Hispanic boy. "Subject M. Diaz may appear unremarkable, but he's forecasted to have an encounter that leads to great revelations about other dimensions and the civilizations that inhabit them."

"I just wish that the encounter was with just an extra-dimensional demon and not a magical princess in tow," Lucy complained monotonously.

"That said, such an encounter won't occur until another three to four years," Lisa surmised.

"Now you both are predicting the future now?" Lincoln asked surprised. "I thought that the Tarot card incident put you off of this."

"It turns out that science brought about the catalyst I needed to make more accurate predictions," Lucy surmised.

"OK, so what does this have to do with us?" Lee questioned, wanting to get to the point.

"Much like subjects M. Pines," Lisa continued, "the two of you are destined to overcome a grand challenge that would create a ripple effect on the world at large this year."

"Any chance that you could fill us in?"

"No spoilers, Mr. Ping."

"Dang it."

"So, it's ok for us to know about those other guys' futures but not our own?" Lincoln sulked.

"If I informed you of your future tasks," Lisa explained, "it would increase the chances of you not making them, thus rendering my advice for naught."

"We could, however, share some of the stuff we learned about our alternate selves if you'd like," Lucy offered.

"It could provide a good transition for us to get into my second items of discussion," Lisa added.

"Eh, why not?" Lee shrugged.

"As long as it's not some world where I have ten brothers instead of you girls," Lincoln asserted, a bizarre and unpleasant dream still fresh in his mind.

"Or one where we're girls," Lee abruptly added. "I just have a feeling that would ruin my summer."

"Well, that rules out universes where the 63rd Property is in effect," Lisa muttered before changing the screen to show two Earths that spawned a vast multitude of different Earths connected to them, along with a few that seemed to be connected to both worlds. "As the cosmic map indicates, the worlds that have us at the center stem from two separate prime worlds. And the main timelines of those worlds lack interactions between our respective families."

"Wait a minute," Lee interrupted, "You're saying that, by normal circumstances, we would never have met."

"More like our family never left Royal Woods to begin from the start," Lucy stated curtly.

"Gosh," Lincoln murmured, "I never considered that."

"Indeed, our families becoming friends is a serendipitous gift that we're quite (dare I say it) 'fortunate' to have," Lisa begrudgingly divulged, noting Lucy's subtle grin.

"How else is our Earth different from these 'prime worlds'?" Lee inquired; his curiosity peaked.

"Apparently our world is chronologically equal to Earth designation Ping-Prime, whereas Loud-Prime's timeline is set four years into our future."

"So that means, by universal standards, I'd be the oldest among all of us," Lee assumed smugly.

"Something tells me that Lori won't see that as a reason to let you out from under her thumb," Lincoln stated bluntly.

"Dang it."

"There is also a particular aspect that you share with your prime counterparts," Lisa redirected the conversation back to her. "That being your propensity to amorous pursuits."

"Huh?" both boys asked.

"She's talking about you being romance-prone," Lucy explained, causing the two young men to blush.

"Affirmative," Lisa confirmed. "The majority of the worlds spawned from the primes are the result of you two courting other people."

"So, there's a world where I'd end up with Tina?" Lee asked. "I mean in the timeline that where you guys weren't my neighbors that is."

"Nice save," Lucy droned.

"Just as likely that there is a world where you two have an atrocious breakup," Lisa pointed out with a hint of disdain. "Of course, among the relatively few where our paths intertwine, you could very well be a part of a Loud-Ping union."

"Whoa, whoa, hold up," Lincoln piped up. "I might like him like a brother, but I don't know if I can see him as an in-law. No offense, Lee."

"Some taken," Lee stated.

"Considering how close you two are, who said anything about you being in-laws?" Lucy playfully jabbed.

"Lucy!" the boys shouted in anger, earning a toothy grin from the usually gloomy girl.

"Ahem," Lisa uttered to bring attention back to her. "As for my older male sibling, you have quite the outlook in any world; there's even one where you and Bonnie finally get out of the 'just friends' stage."

"No matter how many times you girls push it," Lincoln growled, "it's not gonna happen."

Lee could tell that this discussion was getting to his little buddy. "Is this your way of pressuring us to make our moves?" he asked the two female experts in their fields.

"Well, you guys are already at that moment of your lives," Lucy explained. "You even more so, Lee."

"We just wanted to give you the reassurance that there's a very low chance of either of you spending the remainder of your lives alone," Lisa insisted. "As a matter of fact, nearly all of the other linchpins are bound to engage amorously."

"I'm guessing that the people you've shown us count as well?" Lincoln surmised.

"Precisely so, elder male sibling," Lisa confirmed, changing the button to show pictures of the Pines twins, Diaz boy, and the two young men in the room with smaller pictures surrounding each subject. The smaller pictures contained scenarios involving the designated subject and a different person altogether. "The twin subjects M. Pines have a decent number of probable suitors, some of whom aren't even human. M. Diaz holds the record for the most possible paramours, many of whom reside outside this dimensional plane."

"Does that include the demon and the princess Lucy mentioned earlier?" Lee pondered.

"Yeah," the girl in question responded, "even when the two were already in a relationship."

'Dayum,' Lee and Lincoln thought, stuck between impressed, jealous, or intimidated.

"Feel free to take a look at your romantic possibilities," Lisa handed Lee the remote with the arrow buttons highlighted. "Please only use the horizontal-scrolling buttons."

Lee shrugged and began browsing through the "options" presented, though he found a few that were a bit convoluted such as a matchup with a stout girl with a unibrow. 'There's a possibility that I'd end up with Greta? At least, Beth isn't in here.' There were a few that got him excited such as a certain Asian-American girl with a teal headband. What he wasn't prepared for was that Luna (and the rest of the older Loud sisters for that matter) was among the ladies.

"Buh?" Lee blurted out, not realizing his cheeks dusting red. Though it was hard to tell, Lisa and Lucy made small, knowing smiles towards each other.

"Well, you two are already in a music duo," Lincoln playfully brought up, "so you'd just be making a different kind of sweet music together."

"Haha," Lee sneered wryly before passing the remote to Lincoln.

"Use the upper vertical button to switch to your path, elder male sibling unit," Lisa told Lincoln, noting his confusion with the device. Just like with Lee, the screen perused through various scenes of Lincoln with a variety of girls, many consisting of a few Ottington residents and others that appeared to be doppelgangers of the former.

"How about that? Looks like my little brother is going to be quite the ladies' man," Lee teased, lightly jabbing the white-haired pre-teen's side with his elbow.

"Cut it out," Lincoln blushed in embarrassment, pushing away the partial redhead. While skimming through the "options" like a dating app, they soon came up with some questionable scenes of Lincoln with most of his sisters: sleeping in the same bed as Lynn; performing some dark ritual with Lucy; being strapped to a table and experimented on by Lisa; getting driving lessons from Lori except with her being in the driver's seat and Lincoln sitting in her lap; performing a romantic puppet show with Luan; dancing a formal waltz with Lola; mud-wrestling with Lana; singing a duet with Luna, and modeling Leni's original clothing designs. "I thought this was supposed to show my 'what-if' love stories; what's all this?" Lincoln wondered. While he liked the idea of him being close with his sisters, there was something off about these scenes that have him worried. He also missed seeing Lee's face turning pale.

"The ultimate fate of someone who lacks a social life and whose only friends are his sisters," Lucy droned so creepily that she freaked out everyone in the room; even the images on the screen appeared to be spooked by her.

"A bit of an exaggeration but accurate," Lisa confirmed. "If you can't procure similarly-aged suitresses, you'll be spending a lot of days with us."

"And how would that be a problem?" Lincoln asked since he doesn't really see spending time with his sisters to be all that bad.

"It would become one when we all grow older and develop new interests," Lisa warned.

"Well, this has certainly been enlightening," Lee spoke up, "but I think it's time to call it quits. Thanks for inviting us. Let's go, Link."

"Wait, I want to know more about what they meant," Lincoln pleaded while Lee practically dragged him out of the room.

"I'll tell you when you're older," the teenage boy told his protégé. "No need to worry, Lisa; we won't tell a soul about this ever."

With the boys now out of sight and sound, Lucy turned to Lisa with her pressing concern. "Why didn't you mention the 'catalysts'?"

"It would've been detrimental to bring up that reality to them," Lisa lamented. "It's not as simple as going to a new location for the summer or playing host for an extra-dimensional being. If my research is clear, Lee's catalyst is something that I can't interfere with, especially how it might involve our presence in this city."

"But what about Lincoln's?"

"I've seen far too many iterations that have convinced me that we can't allow our family to become so calloused to let it take place in our reality."

"So, you're hoping that we have no such luck of that happening?" Lucy nonchalantly quipped.

Lisa just glared daggers at her gothic older sister for pushing two of her proverbial buttons: the acknowledgment of superstitions and atrocious wordplay.

Credit goes to mon-ra for beta-reading and helping me out of my writer's block for this chapter.

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