Allison: Are we fighting or flirting?
Susie: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Allison: Your point?

Joey: We have a problem.
Henry: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Joey: So you like cats?
Henry: Yeah.
Joey: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Henry: You're alive.
Joey: There's no need to sound so disappointed.

Henry: Did you have to stab them?
Joey: You weren't there. You didn't hear what they said to me.
Henry: What did they say?
Joey: "What are you going to do, stab me?"
Henry: That's fair.

Joey: I think it's time I get my life in order.
Henry, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

Wally: So, Tom, do you have a crush on anyone?
Tom: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

Wally: Do you know a turtles only weakness?
Tom: No... well, their slowness.
Wally: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.
Wally: Now I have a plan.
Wally: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Allison: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

Ink Bendy: Can I bother you for a second?
Henry: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

Ink Bendy: My only talent is being stress.
Henry: Don't you mean stressed?
Ink Bendy: No.

Henry: What do you have?
Ink Bendy: A KNIFE!
Henry: NO!

Malice: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Henry: I think you mean cards.
Ink Bendy: They did not.
Malice, pulling out knives: I did not.

Malice: Am I right, Henry?
Henry: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

Malice: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.
Henry: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

Allison: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Malice: Sure!
Malice: Whats your favorite color?
Allison, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?

Malice: What's up? I'm back.
Allison: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead
Malice: Death is a social construct.

Malice: Something's off.
Allison: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Malice: No, but that's funny.

Malice: Alright, listen up you little shits.
Malice: Not you Allison. You're an angel and we're thrilled you're here.

Malice, admiring a sleeping Allison: You're so cute.
Allison, sleepily: I could beat your ass.
Malice, lovingly: I know.

Malice: Do you think I'm ugly?
Allison: It's not about looks, Malice. What's valuable is on the inside...
Malice: Allison...
Allison: For example, someone's heart.
Malice: Aw... Stop it-
Allison: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know.
Malice: Seriously, stop.

Allison, trying to comfort Malice: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

Allison: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Malice: Killed without hesitation.

Allison: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?
Malice: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
Allison:
Malice: I don't know how you keep forgetting this.

Henry: I have a bad feeling about this...
Joey: What do you mean?
Henry: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?
Joey: No?
Ink Bendy: That actually explains so much.

Wally: Allison won't come out of their room!
Sammy: Just tell them I said something.
Wally: Like what?
Sammy: Anything factually incorrect.
Wally, shrugging: If you say so.
Allison, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

Buddy: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Tom: I've only had Ink Bendy for a day and a half but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Grant: If you got arrested what would be the charges?
Buddy: Theft.
Susie: Disturbing the peace.
Lacie: Aggravated assault.
Allison: Arson.
Tom: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Tom: What if people had food names and food had people names?
Henry: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Tom for dinner.
Joey: What is wrong with you people?
Allison: Shut up, chocolate.

Wally: I'm a fool, not an idiot.

Ink Bendy: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Sammy, are a fucking cactus.

Allison: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-
Allison: *sees Joey shoving Ink Bendy into the washing machine while Grant records and Sammy watches*
Allison: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

Ink Bendy: *Plays Slender: The Eight Pages*
*Jumpscare*
Ink Bendy: *Jumps back* OH SHIT, IT'S A WHITE GUY!