Allison: Susie and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.
Sammy: What did you do?
Allison: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-
Susie: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

Sammy: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

Henry: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.
Allison, Malice, Ink Bendy, and Boris: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Ink Bendy: Before I was-
Tom: What?
Ink Bendy: Before I was inter-
Tom: Before you were interrupted?
Ink Bendy: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll-
Tom: What?
Ink Bendy: *makes frustrated sound*
Malice, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you.

Tom: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice.
Ink Bendy: Sacrifice? I nominate Henry.
Henry: Wait, what?
Ink Bendy: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.
Henry: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world!
Tom: Its not that kind of of sacrifice guys!

Henry: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

Henry: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.
Malice: Throw rocks at he.
Allison: Hot Dogs.
Boris: Kill him.
Henry: Thanks guys.

Malice, to Ink Bendy: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Ink Bendy: Who the fuck-
Henry: Language!
Ink Bendy: Whom the fuck-
Henry: No.

Malice: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

Allison: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?
Malice: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

Boris: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

Henry: Why are you always trying to aggravate me?
Ink Bendy: To relax.

Malice: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I'm actually bi.

Allison: What do I get?
Malice: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.
Allison: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.
Malice: It won't be you.
Allison: I'll get my coat.

Malice: I am going to need you to swear-
Allison: Fuck.
Malice:
Malice: ...swear as in promise.

Malice: So, are you two friends?
Henry: Yes.
Boris: No.

Boris: Editor's note: What the fuck?

Malice: Henry, those tarot card readers know what they're doing! Think of Allison, they're so smart!
Henry: Those are suggestions! They're not-
Malice: Allison knew things, Allison knew things!
Henry: I don't think tarot cards told them that, though! I think if you just shotgun blast things into the air, saying you think you know things, then you're bound to hit one of them!
Malice: I don't like thinking about it like that. They're just brilliant.
Henry: Well, they are brilliant! But-
Malice: And they saw into the future, and they're basically a god.
Henry: ...
Henry: They aren't.

Tom: ...My man Ink Bendy just killed a goldfish.
Ink Bendy: *licking their lips* Yup. Delicious.

Tom, ordering coffee: I'd like a light roast.
Malice: You're kinda ugly.

Allison: Can you cut me some slack, Malice? I'm sort of in love.
Malice: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.
Allison: I'm in love with you.
Malice: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Boris: You're smiling. What happened?
Tom: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?
Allison: Ink Bendy tripped and fell down the stairs today.

Ink Bendy: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?
Malice: Because your toast would get soggy!

*At a bank teller window*
Malice, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit!
Tom: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!
Malice: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*
Tom: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

Allison: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
Malice: Yes.
Allison: I love you.
Malice: It back.
*Later*
Henry: Why is Allison crying face-down on the floor?