Ink Bendy: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Malice: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Ink Bendy: But you're always acting stupid?
Malice: ...
Malice: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

Henry: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

Malice: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.
Allison: Only if you also don't ask why.
Allison: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag*
Malice: ...
Malice, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

Ink Bendy: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.
Malice: If I was married to you I'd drink it.

Ink Bendy, handing a balloon to Henry: I have no soul. Have a good day!
Henry, walking off: I don't have one either.

Henry: You've got to learn to love yourself.
Ink Bendy: But don't you hate yourself.
Henry: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

Henry: Hey.
Boris: Hey?
Henry: I can't sleep. :/
Boris: I can. Goodnight.

Boris: Guys, I didn't memorize my lines!
Henry: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!
*During the play*
Allison: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?
Boris: W-what're donuts?

Allison: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Ink Bendy without them noticing?
Malice: Hey, Ink Bendy, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.
Ink Bendy: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.
Allison: …

Henry: So... what's goin' on?
Malice: You want the long version or the short version?
Henry, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?
Malice: Shit's fucked.
Henry: Oh. Well, yeah, that's definitely not an optimal situation.

Henry: You guys worried about Tom?
Malice: Totally!
Boris: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"
Henry: And what'd you say?
Boris: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."
Malice:
Henry: They're lucky to have you as a friend.

Ink Bendy: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Henry.
Malice: You just said it again.
Henry:
Ink Bendy: I am not a role model.

Malice: How is spring not everyone's favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!
Allison: Allergies are also a problem, y'know.
Malice: But pink.
Ink Bendy: And it's hot.
Malice: PINK!

Tom, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?
Tom: Wait. I the fuck used this pan…
Ink Bendy: It was you the fuck.
Tom: It was I the fuck…
Henry: Who cooks rice in a pan?
Ink Bendy: They the fuck.

Malice: So, I've been thinking Henry-
Henry: That's dangerous.

Boris: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.
Boris: *cuts piece of cake*
Allison: ...Can I have some?
Boris: Cake is for talkers.

Henry: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?
Ink Bendy: It's a book. There's a lot of those in here, this is a library.

Malice: Oh, hey, I didn't see you come in! You should have come by and said hello!
Ink Bendy: Oh! Yeah, I uh...
Ink Bendy: Didn't want to bother you.
Ink Bendy: Or talk to or listen to or be around you.

Malice: Is this mistletoe?
Allison: Uh, no, no, that is basil.
Malice: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you.
Allison: Yeah, no, it's still basil.

Malice: I'm very disappointed in you, Tom.
Allison: C'mon, don't get mad at Tom!
Malice: Allison, stop telling Tom it's okay for them to punch you! They need to learn not to punch people!
Allison: But I'm not a person!
Tom: Which is why I punched them!

Ink Bendy: Be careful, I thrive on negative attention.

Ink Bendy: Yeah, I don't like people.
Tom: Oh, well now that's not fair Ink Bendy. Have you met all of them?
Ink Bendy: I've met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

Malice: You're such a dumbass (affectionate).
Allison: Aww, you're such a whore (complimentary).
Henry: How are you talking like that in real life?
Allison: Witchcraft (derogatory).