Alice: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

Bendy, to Alice: If Edgar doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.
Edgar, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!

Edgar: Hey, Bendy, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Bendy: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Edgar: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Bendy: Can't really say I have.
Edgar: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as f*** sometimes.
Bendy: Sorry, Edgar. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

Edgar: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

Alice: You're giving me a sticker?
Boris: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying "me-wow!"
Alice: I'm not a preschooler.
Boris: Fine, I'll take it back-
Alice: I earned this, back off!

Boris: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I've ever done.
Edgar: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.
Boris: They're not.
Edgar: Haha, very funny.
Boris: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?
Edgar: No... what happened?
Boris: ...Why would you fall for this again-

Boris: Hey, Edgar you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform.
Edgar: Have you ever been to a mortuary?
Boris: Yea, my grandma lives there.
Charley: That is the worst response to that question.

Barley, when Bendy walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.
Barley: *accidentally smacks Edgar in the face with the baking sheet*

Boris: You need to stop swearing so much.
Edgar: Shut the f*** up.
Boris: Yeah, that's not how you do it.
Edgar: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.
Boris: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.
Edgar: S*** the beep up.
Boris:
Edgar: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

Bendy: We're having a moment, aren't we?
Alice: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

Charley: What are you two arguing about this time?
Barley: They're always using common phrases incorrectly!
Edgar: Cry me a table, Barley.

Alice: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have.

Edgar: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Charley: Several traffic violations.
Alice: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Barley: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Boris: Also, that's not our car.

Charley: Alice, what do you value about Bendy?
Alice: They're thoughtful. They pick flowers and bring them to me. Often they're ones I've just planted, but...
Bendy: That's how I know they're fresh!

Alice: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Bendy: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents.
Alice: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.
Edgar: Actually I did the math, Bendy would have $225, not $0.15.
Bendy: Fam I'm right here...
Boris: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Alice: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Boris: Sorry I only have a dollar.
Alice: :( Edgar: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Bendy would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.
Boris: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.
Edgar: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.
Charley: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice.
Edgar: Apply juice to what.
Charley: Directly to the forehead.
Bendy: Great chat everyone.

Edgar: You shouldn't be using a straw.
Charley: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.
Edgar: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.

Barley: Are you ever going to listen to me?
Bendy: Yes. Absolutely.
Barley: When?
Bendy: When you're right.

Alice: STOP!
*Everyone stops*
Alice: wAiT a MiNuTe-

Bendy: I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It's rude.

Barley: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us.
Bendy: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this:
Bendy: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

Edgar: I lost Bendy.
Barley: How did you LOSE Bendy?!
Edgar: To be fair, they are very small.

Edgar: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!
Charley: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Alice, go find out if that thing can catch fire!
Edgar: You're a bad influence.
Charley: And you don't know your sayings.

Alice: I fell—
Bendy: From heaven?
Alice: No, I literally fell—
Bendy: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Alice: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Bendy: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Charley: Define "dream".
Edgar: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works.
Alice: That's too dark!

Alice: Are you laughing at that video of Boris and Bendy fighting?
Edgar: No.
Edgar: I'm laughing at the comments.

Edgar: When I was your age-
Boris, mocking Edgar: When I was your height.
Edgar:
Edgar: Listen here you little s***-

Charley: Christmas lights?
Alice: Check.
Bendy: Thermos of hot cocoa?
Alice: Check.
Boris: Santa suits?
Alice: Check.
Edgar: Shovel?
Alice: Check.
Barley: Alibi and bail money?
Alice: Check- wait, WHAT?!

Barley: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Charley: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Boris: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.
Alice: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Edgar: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Bendy: I have emotional scars.

Edgar, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Bendy: Hey.
Boris: Hi.
Alice: Hello.
Charley: Hey!
Edgar: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Barley: We were out of Doritos.