She scrolled through the e-magazine article dedicated to Wei Bohai, Mathers Larkson, and herself. Seated on one of the medical tables with a data pad in hand, she distracted herself from the annoying medical necessities. She forgot how anxious the interview answers made her sound.
"Miss Colton?" Dr. Appan interrupted her.
Her eyes snapped up and off the data pad.
"How long have you released biotic tension through your hands?" He pointed to her instinctive flexing. She consciously stopped the flexing. The weirdness of the restraint concerned her, and panic overtook reason. She didn't need to flex, but she liked to flex. Flexing the biotics made her less concerned about her well-being overall. She flexed so long that not flexing disrupted her trained behavior.
"Since fourteen?" She shrugged apathetically. "About a decade, give or take a year."
He checked the medical scanner read out. "That explains the irregularities." He mumbled.
She sat up straighter.
"The organ damage is minimal when it should be more extensive given your degenerate biotics." He explained directly. "I've known salarians with the same condition who lived up to half a decade before organ failure due to biotic corruption."
Her eyes widened. Her mind refused to comprehend the words.
"Your doctor never addressed this with you?" Dr. Appan asked dumbly.
"No?" She tried to remember the last time a doctor addressed her biotics. She drew a blank.
"The good news is we can clone your organs and replace your heart with an artificial heart. The bad news is- "
"-the biotics will continue to corrupt the new organs?" She guessed grimly.
"There's a chance the organ transplants will be rejected. With the proper medication, the rate of rejection is ten to fifteen percent. There is the risk of acute rejection and chronic rejection. Acute can take place between the first week and up to three months after the transplant. Chronic rejection spans years." He explained patiently, as if he had experience with difficult patients. "I can provide you- "
She held up her hand warily. "How soon do I need a replacement? And how many?"
"It's always difficult to make a value judgment on time."
"And how many?" She sighed.
"You are in perfectly functioning healthy at this moment. You're walking a dangerous line with your biotics, Miss Colton. If you lose control of them, the biotics will twist and turn on you. I've watched strong salarian biotics succumb to it believing they knew how to control it. None of them stalled the inevitable as long as you." He dodged the question.
She put down the data pad behind her. "How soon should I find a doctor specialized in biotics?"
"I'd advise seeking a doctor on the Citadel shortly after your arrival." He grimaced.
She gestured broadly. "Doc, might I be honest with you?" She lowered her voice and motioned him to move closer.
He edged closer and leaned in.
"Never, not once in my life, has any doctor explained anything to me. Not from the age of six. To now. What I've learned is from personal experience, research, and overhearing the doctors speak."
He bowed his head in respect. "I am sorry you've experienced that in your life. If you have any questions, I am available to help." He smiled.
"Doc…are you saying I have biotic 'cancer'?"
"That is the human terminology term." He summed. "I'm sorry."
She swallowed hard. "It's survivable, right?" She pleaded.
"Yes, it can be." He allowed.
She forcibly nodded and gestured broadly. "We focus on the positive. If I focus on the negative…then I become the old Mycerra. I want to be the new Mycerra. Post-Omega Mycerra. The one who does better. Positivity. We are going to be POS-I-TIVE."
"Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?" He asked gently.
She picked at her nails. "At least the Reapers won't kill me."
"Technically, if you used your biotics during the Reaper Assault, they contributed."
She hopped off the table. "I can't do anything about it right now and I have other responsibilities to attend to. We'll pick this up and talk later?"
He walked her to the door. "When you're ready. Positive options." He emphasized for her.
She composed herself, the gravity of the horrible news anchoring her in reality against her will. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Javik watching from the kitchen. Her gut twisted. "I'm going to have a word with Javik, Doc. This uh news stays between us?" She gestured.
He ushered her out. She trusted his nonverbal promise.
"Javik, a word." She snapped at the prothean.
"In my quarters." He directed knowingly.
She refrained from speaking until they escaped the third deck and dodged the council plant, a turian who introduced himself at breakfast and tried to make small talk. The elevator ride to the fourth deck filled with insufferable silence. They stood side by side, Javik's hands clenched behind his back and Mycerra's hands clasped in front of her.
Entering Javik's area, she stilled immediately.
A faint mist clung to the floor. A pedestal console with a black liquid situated in the far-left corner. A small pedestal with a floating memory disk split the difference of the room's length on the right-hand side. A mid-sized screen hung on the far wall. It smelled…strange. It felt familiar.
She sensed the difference in biotics, but how?
"You wish to speak." He stated.
She crossed her arms and toed at the ground in an attempt to disrupt the mist. The play of light on the particles fascinated her. "You knew something was wrong with me." She addressed her gut feeling. "It's why you're hovering and you're touchy-touchy. How bad is it really?"
Confusion crossed his face.
"Javik?" She demanded impatiently.
He snapped to attention. "I'm sorry if that is the impression I gave you. I know nothing about your medical affairs." He turned to his liquid station.
She advanced toward him and stopped halfway, common sense kicking in. "So, if you didn't know about the bad news, then why were you hovering?" She asked.
He motioned her to cross the remaining distance. She stood next to him at the console and watched his hands dance over the liquid. She held her hand over it curiously afraid to touch it. One set of eyes flicked to her hand anxiously. She pulled it back courteously. "I am sorry if your health is not optimal."
She shrugged off the neutral statement. "Shit luck most of my life. Any time I have something worth holding onto it all goes to shit." She gripped the edge of the console table until her hands hurt and glared at the wall.
"The war is not over. It is only over when you cease to fight."
"Bad biotics in the womb. Didn't kick in until my biotics manifested." Her voice shook. "Apparently, the place that tortured me for shits and giggles also saved my life. If they hadn't pushed me to the brink, I would have never developed the technique that keeps…the biotics from crippling and killing me."
He stopped running his hand over the liquid.
"Yeah. Like I said, Shit luck." She mumbled. "So why are you hovering?"
"The council wished for me to create a report on you." He answered bluntly. "Your connections have placed you in a position of interest to the council."
She winced. "No way to walk that interest back?"
"No. It is not their concern about your ability to meet powerful people at random. I find that fascinating and your sister thinks it very frustrating. How you fail upward while she flounders at middling success. I find it amusing overall. No. Spectre Calun Dravis requested you join a Spectre Team after your term as Mayor, assuming you are elected."
"Javik…I was just told I'm on borrowed time. And that my biotics are the reason for it. I was just told I can have expensive surgery to fix the problem, but I don't have the credits, and if I did, my biotics would wreck the new organs. I'm not saying it's a job I don't want. I'm saying for my own health that I can't." She hissed, unaware of how badly her hands shook. "I love that he's looking out for me, but I physically can't play soldier like that."
"When you asked me to conduct the psychological examination, I conducted a thorough examination. You have attachments to certain individuals that are stronger than others. You are particularly fond of Wei Bohai, trainee; Titus Deltano, retired General; Calun Dravis, Spectre; Galaxy Portman, gifted child; among a slew of others. You clearly have a strong network to lean on in times like these. You are a soldier and soldiers persevere."
She almost fell for the charisma oozing from the speech. "It doesn't change the fact that biotics are killing my body."
"We can design a bio amp that will pulse the biotics. There are solutions you have not thought of." He pressed. "You do not have to refuse a strong future for a minor problem."
She leaned on the console. "Javik, I'm not saying no to the position- "
"Excellent. I'll put in a requisition order for a bio amp that will rhythmically pulse your biotics and help relieve the pressure that is causing medical problems."
She sighed dramatically. "Do you mind if I see the request Dravis sent to the council?" She asked.
He moved to the holographic keyboard and typed in the code words, scrolled through the narrowed selection, and picked a report out of the short list. He opened it for her to read and returned to his liquid console. She scrutinized each sentence start to finish. The full request exposed nothing untoward and gave the most glowing review of her performance at Haven 1. She reread it to be certain her mind didn't insert a different report in its place. Squinting at the properly zoomed screen, she finally accepted Calun Dravis hyped her up beyond-
"Wait a minute…he updated it?" She checked the date of the report. "He submitted this after I refused to leave Omega?" She demanded of Javik.
He nodded.
"Damned salarian." She muttered contemptuously. "How dare he-I will kill him."
"I would accept his generosity and accept the position with the expectation you'll have to resign after four years as mayor."
"Why does everyone assume I'll win the election?" She practically yelled. "I was gone for a year. The reports say the populations doubled since then. Those people don't know me. You win popular vote by being known. What does everyone think I have?"
Javik's face contorted in frustration. "Your lack of faith is disturbing."
She closed out the request. "I'm serious. Why does everyone believe I can be Mayor? Not that I don't think Mayor Colton doesn't have a nice ring to it- "
"You're a fool. A blind fool."
"Wei Bohai is part hero worship and part brother. Don't go there. Titus used me to be in pseudo control. And Dravis was passing time. Doing whatever he did." She argued and crossed her arms. "Diyal Bakshi and Tabitha Votham wanted to be of use. Galaxy was just a sweetheart. Too smart for her age. Yu, damned girl needed to touch earth sometimes, but her sense of humor could lighten a mood. Not to mention Lonny and Fitz…" She rambled on and on. The door opened. She stopped speaking and realized she rattled off fifty-some names and small bits of information that proved she talked to people outside of official duties.
"Am I interrupting?" Nihlus asked naively.
"Proving my point." Javik remarked dryly. "I'll submit your acceptance of the offer in five year's time."
"Only because Dravis is so insistent on it." She bemoaned.
Nihlus looked between them. "Should I- "
"No, no. I actually took up too much of his time." Mycerra collected herself. "I concede the why, but the victory is not guaranteed." She resigned herself to the potential inevitability.
Javik bowed his head in her direction.
"And thank you for telling the council to get off their asses. Never thanked you for that." She allowed herself to smile and dipped out before she embarrassed herself further.
Nihlus waited until the door closed. "Did I miss something?"
"Proving a point." Javik answered vaguely.
To prove it to herself, Mycerra sat down and made notes on every person she remembered from Haven 1. Tia interrupted her a third way through the list. She situated Tia on her lap and continued making the list. She mentally tired at individual number seventy-four.
"Fine, fine. Weird prothean has a point." She grumbled to Tia.
Tia's innocent face fixed itself at the forefront of her mind.
She booped Tia's nose. "We'll apologize to him tomorrow." She promised the baby.
Tia cooed.
"I need to call your mother tomorrow too." Mycerra retired to bed, Tia tucked safely next to her. Baby fell asleep before papa. Papa lay awake in mild irritation at herself and the expectations they piled on her without asking her permission. She woke to an alarm sounding on the ship.
Scooping Tia into her arms, she rolled out of bed, onto her feet, and followed the line of equally groggy crew members. Stumbling along the corridors of Normandy, her mind jogged to clarity painfully slow. A turian helped her navigate the grogginess. She caught up with the group in front of her.
"…a drill…"
The alarm blared.
"Are you sure?"
"What if we're- "
They rounded toward the escape pods.
Nihlus stood in front of one of the pods lined up with a stopwatch. "If this were a real attack, you'd all be dead." He announced over the speaker to the amassing group. "All civilians may go back to their beds. Crew members need to remain behind."
Mycerra glared at the unrepentant turian before turning and dragging her feet back to her bunk. She lowered herself onto the bed, back flaring in pain. She instinctively pulsed biotics. Tia curled deeper into her arms. She kissed the little tendrils and fell back to blissful uninterrupted sleep.
They stopped at Tuchanka the next day. She prepared to chew out Nihlus at breakfast, stopped by the serious tone at the breakfast table. Liara gave Tia a quick cuddle and then sat with Javik, Nihlus, and Tali. Giving them the space she sensed they needed, she ate breakfast in the med lab with Dr. Appan. They watched the group at the table through the glass.
"I swear that quarian has an invisibility cloak." Mycerra said between bites of oatmeal.
"She hides in engineering." Dr. Appan explained.
They watched a data pad pass between the four. A loneliness nagged at her.
"I wanted to discuss options with you for doctors. There are several reputable doctors on the Citadel who would- "
She turned out Doctor Appan and watched her sister. Pacyra leaned into the group and the group acknowledged her. Nihlus regarded Pacyra with equal respect and love. The group opened itself to Pacyra in a way comrades opened themselves to each other.
"-and Dr. Ulona is a recognized expert in the field of lymph node- "
Tia let out a plaintive wail.
The salarian doctor stopped speaking and apologized to the disturbed baby. He danced his fingers above her face and sang off the elemental chart to distract her. Mycerra finished her food in mild depression. Her eyes zeroed on Pacyra and Nihlus hugging.
"If you need someone to talk to- "Dr. Appan started.
Mycerra frowned. "I don't get it. I go through hell, know the Who's Who of The Galaxy and she's the one who gets to have her life partner next to her at any hour? But mine, the mother of my daughter, is stuck on Omega. She's the one who gets the happy ending, the long life? How is this fair?"
"Miss Colton – "
"No, no. I get it." She waved him off. "She has the charming fairy tale and I must claw my way out of the gutter. It's fine. Completely fine."
Dr. Appan took notes on his omni tool.
Tia stuffed her thumb in her mouth. Mycerra stopped frowning long enough to spot the note taking salarian. She gave him a dirty look and wished in that moment to place Nihlus and Pacyra on opposite sides of the Normandy SR-2. "I'll be on the bridge." She announced abruptly.
"I'll wash the dish." Dr. Appan called after her.
She removed it from the desk at the last second. "I can handle that."
He flinched away from her hand.
"Don't worry, Doc. I'm pissed off at the world, not at you." She snapped. Tenderly holding Tia, she held onto the barest shreds of humanity and sanity. "You can include in your notes how much I resent her for having the easy life."
She would have slammed the door if it didn't slide shut after her.
They stopped at Tuchanka two hours later and welcomed Urdnot Wrex onto the Normandy SR-2. She heard the krogan before the door opened to the Starboard Observation. She winced at the loud laughter of the krogan puncturing the peace.
"Heh. You should have seen him on Omega years ago. We stopped a plague with the help of Mordin Solus. He's dead now, but when he started talking, nothing shut him up." Urdnot Wrex unveiled to Pacyra. Mycerra counted the seconds until they noticed her curled up with Tia and a data pad trying to read a silly romance novel. Tia lay on her chest, the cutest baby in a lavender onesie. "Who's up for cards and Ryncol?"
Pacyra chuckled nervously.
She curled deeper into the couch. The starry view in front of her blurred together into a patchwork of blackness and contrasting pinpricks in the fabric of reality. Tia stared up at it captivated from the crook of papa's arm.
"Cards and Ryncol?" Pacyra asked stupidly in hope of a change of opinion. "That's unadvisable. My younger sister is aboard, and she's rarely in one place on the ship. I'd advise you to tread carefully around her. She's experiencing emotional difficulties at the moment."
"Omega Colton?"
"Javik has a soft spot for her. Javik forgets her fragility is the result of years of trauma. You don't reverse and repair trauma when it defined your entire life." Pacyra's voice pitched with passion. "She shouldn't be in a position of influence in her current mental and emotional state. If you need anything, or need her out of your way- "
"Why would I want Omega Colton out of my way?" Wrex asked in a peculiar tone.
Mycerra sat up slowly. "Yeah. What did I do?"
Pacyra started.
Wrex squared up with papa and baby. "Colton."
"Urdnot." She replied evenly.
"The other Colton." He said slowly.
"The one that's commonly fucked over? Yeah, that's me." She said flippantly and turned her attention back to the data pad.
"The one who sent the breeding request from Omega."
"Bar Brawl Idiot." She clarified for him. "I was just passing along the good word."
Pacyra edged out of the way. "I'll talk to Nihlus, try to plan an impromptu card game." She volunteered anxiously.
"I'd much rather the noise go elsewhere actually." Mycerra stopped her, her tone dipping into the permafrost itself. "Between surprise drill and missing Amani, I'm not in the mood for company and I was here first."
The krogan took in the starry view and sat on the opposite couch. "I know how to drink without disturbing a person." He spoke.
Her brow raised. "That's great. Does she?" Mycerra looked pointedly at her sister.
"Why are you being a bitch this morning?"
"I don't know. Why were you the favorite?"
"Is that what this is all about? I thought we were past this- "
"Past what? So, we talk a bit about stupid shit via calls. But the first time you have a chance to meet me, you prioritize the council, the same council who didn't give a shit about kidnapped humans, over me? How we didn't talk face to face until the second day I was aboard the Normandy? Or how about the two plus decades of no communication?"
"Of all the times to be bitchy- "
Mycerra sat up slowly and completed ignored Wrex. The lonely child within reared up. "I'm being bitchy? You just told Tuchanka that I'm too damaged to associate with people- "
"Because you are. You're pretending in vain hope that therapy will save you. That you can be strong enough to overcome everything. A part of you will always be broken, damaged- "
"That's harsh." Wrex remarked.
Mycerra covered Tia's ears. "I may be broken. Damaged even. That doesn't mean therapy won't help make it hurt less. Or help me find better ways to cope with it. People need people, Pacyra. You can't hide me in a hole and hope that I'll stay there like some dirty little secret. So, I'm biotic. There's an entire species naturally born with biotics."
"Drop the pity party and act your age, Mycerra." Pacyra snapped. "We can talk later about your issues."
"My issues? You don't want me to pry open that asteroid, Pacyra. No one's going to give you a psychological eval. Just the crazy Colton."
"Because you are crazy, Mycerra. The biotics tainted you since the moment you were born." Pacyra seethed.
Words failed Mycerra.
"And you think I had it easy? I trained day and night for their approval. I graduated at the top of my class. I fast tracked to becoming an officer. I've worked hard for everything in the Alliance and what is my reward for putting in the hard work? 'We'll promote you when the chaos is subdued.' 'You did an excellent job. We need you here now, L T.' I never had a home. I lived out of a rucksack most of my life."
"At least they loved you."
"Loved? Our parents never loved us, Mycerra. They used us." Pacyra pointed. "They used you. They used me. And now they're dead so no one's happy. You're the one who wanted to find me, remember?"
"Biggest regret of my life. Clearly." Mycerra blurted out viciously.
Wrex's head passed from one to the other.
"Why did you stay on Omega if you loved her so much?" Pacyra demanded. "No one said you needed to return to Earth."
She breathed hard. "Because if I stayed, I would have put a pistol to my head and pulled the trigger. Because if I stayed, I would have been the future Pirate Queen's punching bag. Because if I stayed, Tia would have memories of that shithole of a station in the middle of shithole space. Because I have a real family on Earth. People who care about me. And aren't afraid of MY biotics."
"Clearly you need a hospital, not an election."
"Fuck. You."
A sharp whistle forced their attention briefly off each other. A disappointed Nihlus towered in the doorway arms crossed.
"I'm going to spend the rest of the journey in the crew quarters." Mycerra announced stiffly.
Pacyra scoffed. "So dramatic. You act as if you're dying. "
"I am. Actually." Mycerra stood up, a miniscule person in comparison to Wrex and Nihlus. Her raw energy more than made up for the lack of height and width. "Biotics are harming my organs. Been harming them since I hit puberty. And there's a good chance I won't see Tia's sixtieth birthday. And what with transplant rejection rates, the perils of cloning viable organs, and hoping and praying I don't lose control of my biotics – But that's okay, Pacyra. You never cared about me. You cared about your image."
"I do not."
"ENOUGH." Nihlus's voice boomed in the cramped space. "Mycerra, take a breather in the crew quarters. Wrex, we'll drink the Ryncol in my cabin. Pacyra…visit Tali."
The sisters left the room one at a time under the supervision of Wrex and Nihlus. Afterward Nihlus sat with Wrex. "This was supposed to be an easy trip." Nihlus said to Wrex, frustration etching into his tone and breaking it. "Why can't anything go according to plan?"
"I don't know but if we put them in a pit and sold tickets, we could make a fortune. Heh heh."
Nihlus sighed. He had no idea how to fix whatever was broken this time.
A chill sunk between the sisters for the remainder of the journey to the Citadel. Urdnot Wrex called it an opportunity for them to prove their worth against a thresher maw. Nihlus shot down the idea before it lifted off. Something Pacyra said annoyed Mycerra and she wanted to clear it up before the unknown tortured her.
With four hours left aboard the Normandy SR-2, she made the rounds with everyone who spared her time of the day. Tia received many compliments on her cuteness and seemingly 'turian' attitude.
"She's too precious. All that innocence in those chubby cheeks." Liara held Tia and scanned one of her many screens. Glyph organized incoming reports.
Mycerra tried to understand the information cluttering the wall of screens. She recognized lines of codes and admired brief flashes of pictures of Thessia's gorgeous natural wonders mid-recovery.
"It'll be good for both of you to have space. Arguing about the past doesn't help the creation of bonds."
The tapping of keys accompanied the lingering irritation she lived with the last leg of the trip.
"I don't like it when people think I'm incapable of pulling my life together. As if I'm supposed to drown in the past and not live in the present." She redirected her attention to Glyph. "The more things change, the more it stays the same."
"That's not true." Liara scrolled through her contacts list. Mycerra looked away, making a mental note to not cross Liara. Liara knew Toman Namas. How? Why? "Change happens at its own pace. The patterns may be similar or identical, but everything is different."
Mycerra sighed. "I need to know something before I leave the Normandy, Liara. I have the impression Javik doesn't like Pacyra much. Does he?"
"No. He never preferred her company. She's an interesting individual. Perfect for Nihlus."
"Right, right." She held out her arms for Tia. Liara handed over the infant delicately. "And does he prefer my company over Pacyra? Is he taking it easy on me because of everything I've dealt with?"
Liara locked out her screens with a single key stroke. "Javik prefers people who aren't politicking." She smiled at Mycerra. "You're in the middle of the politics. You don't control the politics."
"If I win the election, I will." Mycerra pointed out.
Liara put her hand on Mycerra's shoulder. "If you win the election, you'll be a fresh face with an honest perspective on the reality we all face. Javik understands that." Liara leaned in for a side hug. Mycerra sunk into it willingly.
"Could you tell the cranky prothean next time he's on Earth, he's welcome to visit?"
"He'll demand a tour of Haven 1, I am certain." Liara mused humorously.
Mycerra looked forward to the rare approval.
"Mycerra Colton to the bridge." Nihlus paged over the intercom.
The ladies exchanged a wary look before parting. Mycerra expected a lecture.