Chapter 16: Stag and Wolf

Suspended in time for a moment, they all took pause. Something burnt in Mrs Weasley's eyes, and Harry avoided them. She clutched a sealed letter in her hand. Small mercies were, indeed, the most appreciated.

Mr Weasley's face had crumpled like tissue paper; in confusion, shock, loss, or something else. Harry could hardly bear to look at the laughter lines creasing in such sadness.

'George wasn't home, thank goodness!' Molly Weasley said lowly as Ron stepped, ashen and guilty faced, from the grate. 'Who knows how he would have reacted!' The fire flared again; out came Lily and Hugo.

Teddy's mouth hung open in some trance of shock. Harry couldn't blame him. Ginny's eyes were wide and round as she took in Harry and Teddy at the table over her mother's shoulder.

'Mum—let's go in the other room—'

'Ginevra!' She said in a very high-pitch. 'Your brother has suggested—he said—'

Ron's freckles stood out as he paled. 'Mum, I told you, let's sit down and I can properly explain!'

They kept arguing. Harry had no idea what Ron had let slip, but he was sure it was something to do with the letter crumpled in Mrs Weasley's hand (thankfully still unopened) and her uncanny ability to spot when her child was hiding something from her. Ron certainly looked shifty enough.

Harry looked to Teddy, stiller than he'd ever seen him. He had always been a part of the noise of the family, rousing the children when they were little into shrieks and wails. 'Ted,' Harry said gently, holding his forearm.

Teddy looked at him. His eyes were glassy.

'Let's get some air, okay? Go outside?'

He nodded dumbly. He muttered 'Molly…' under his breath, but allowed himself to be steered out the back door and onto the small, peeling bench that stood next to it. Harry sat at the other end and waited.

'Is my—do you think my grandad…?'

'Ted?' Harry asked, a little surprised. He scratched his chin; he needed a shave. 'I'm not sure. I really couldn't say. There's not a template for this sort of thing.'

'It would be nice. For Gran.'

'It would be. But for now… do you think it's nice? For you?'

Teddy sniffed. Looking at his profile, Harry found it impossible to fathom how the boy was only a little older than Harry when he fought Voldemort for the last time.

'I don't know what to think.' Teddy said eventually. The pause he left after was punctuated by shouting from the kitchen which he didn't seem to notice. 'I don't know them. I don't know what they sound like or even what they look like, really. Did you know I didn't realise what dad's full name until I was about seven? Harry, I don't know who I am with a mum and dad.'

'I don't know who I would be either.' Harry said.

Teddy turned to look at him fully. 'Do you think, maybe, that yours—'

'I'm not the one we're talking about, Teddy.' Harry shook his head. 'But who knows. I'm trying not to think about what ifs as much as possible.'

The wind whistled around them. It was biting and Harry wished he had thought to cast warming charms. He was unsure where his wand was—likely on the kitchen table. How times had changed, that he was so nonchalant about it.

'I'm scared.' Teddy admitted quietly. 'I think I should be grateful. And happy. But I'm just scared. I don't know if I want things to change. Is that selfish? What if—what if they don't like me—'

'Oh, Ted,' Harry closed the distance and put an arm around his godchild. 'It's not selfish. There's no right way to feel about this all. Anything good feels terrifying. Going to Hogwarts? Terrifying. Leaving Hogwarts? Equally horrible. And I've got no doubt, not one at all, that they'll hate you. They love you.'

'They love a baby, they don't love me.'

'Well you love them, don't you? Even though you've never met?'

It stumped him. Ted looked down at his lap where his hands, reddened from the cold, twisted around themselves. The very tips of his hair turned a faint yet queasy yellow.

'I'll promise you something,' Harry said softly, waiting until Teddy turned to look at him properly before continuing. 'Say they don't like you. Say your worst fear comes true. Everything will go back to how it is now. Or—before.'

Teddy's eyes widened. They were the same colour as Remus'. 'What?'

'You're my priority, Teddy. If they don't want anything to do with you—which is ridiculous, I want to make clear, by the way—but if they don't, we'll go back to how it was before. I'll never see them. Okay?'

'But you miss them, don't you?' He struggled with his words for a moment. 'Or—or did, at least.'

'Of course I did. Every day. But you're number one here, Ted. Always have been. This moves at your pace, all right? I promise you'll be no worse off with parents than without.'

Teddy stared. He slowly nodded. Then they turned and looked into the garden as one. The silence turned over them in a wave.

But—

Harry heard Teddy emit a strange noise after a few minutes. Unbelievably, his face had cracked into a grin through the wetness on his cheeks and the redness in his eyes. 'I'm sorry—I just—' he sniggered, 'I never thought you'd say that. It's mad. Just, completely—'

'Stop,' Harry said, the smile tugging at his lips, hysteria bubbling at his tongue. 'I've had to—Scrimgeour Ted, honestly—'

'No!' Teddy guffawed.

Harry's throat strained to try and keep the laughter in. 'Stop it, Molly—'

Teddy laughed something deep and rolling. It was a bark, so much like Sirius'. 'She—she—'

Harry never found out what Teddy was about to say, though he doubted Teddy knew much about it either. Ron emerged from the kitchen looking shell-shocked, to see them both heaving air.

'You're laughing,' he said disbelievingly.

'It's the shock!' Harry stuttered out wiping the beaded tears from his eyes.

'We don't know what—oh my—' Teddy struggled to get his breathing under control, '—it's just weird, Ron, parents,'

'Well I'm glad you've been enjoying yourselves,' Ron huffed. 'I've had to get the kids upstairs, and I've had mum screaming until she's blue in the face in there, and when Ginny finally calms her down a bit and she asks for Harry I come out here to—' he waved his hands in their general direction.

Harry looked at Ron. Ron looked at Harry. The glint in Ron's eyes urged him forward.

'My life, Ron,' he said, 'I mean, really? Really? It's a cosmic joke. A big, fat—' Teddy barked out another laugh over him.

Ron started giggling with them. 'Stop it—shut up,' he tried.

When they finally went into the kitchen, Harry was sure Ron and Teddy's stomachs ached just like his. Mr and Mrs Weasley were clutching mugs of tea, and Ginny wore the taut expression of one who needed a long, deep rest. The kitchen had a solemn, weary air that sucked mirth quicker than a Dementor.

'Harry,' said Mr Weasley. His hand reached out the Mrs Weasley's forearm automatically.

Harry wordlessly took a seat adjacent to him. He opened and closed his mouth in search of something to say.

'It's all right,' Mrs Weasley said, reaching out to take his hand, 'I'm sorry for raging in here. It was—Ron hardly explained very well.'

Ron made a disgruntled noise by the door. The look Ginny and her mother sent his was both identical and scathing.

'Ginny told us everything,' Mr Weasley said. His eyes filled with emotion again and it was hard to look at. 'We're just having a hard time believing… we've seen that Map of yours, but…'

An idea struck Harry like lightening. 'What about a Patronus? One of them must know how to send one? Like in the old days?'

Ginny drew a deep breath. 'I'm not sure—Fred, I don't know if he'd have got round to it, but Remus—'

'My dad?' Teddy asked quietly from next to Ron.

Mrs Weasley rose in a bundle of noise; chair scraping, mug thumping, a whirl of movement to gather Teddy in a bone-crushing hug.

'Oh Teddy,' she said, 'I didn't think, you poor boy! I can't believe I—oh I'm sorry, all this about Freddie—'

As she gushed, Harry looked at Mr Weasley. He nodded gently and gave Harry an encouraging smile. He could hardly believe it was him being comforted at such a time.

Summoning Prongs was as easy as falling asleep after a Quidditch match. He stood, gleaming and proud, amongst the people clustered in the kitchen. He looked painfully out of place, but felt like home. 'Go to Remus Lupin.' Harry said to him, looking him in one steady eye. 'Ask him if they're all right. Ask if they need anything.'

Bowing, Prongs turned and left through the cooker. The trail of silver dissipated like moondust.

What followed next was perhaps the worst piece of waiting Harry had done in his life. It was matched only by Ginny's long labour with Al, or maybe the only stakeout he and Dawlish had ever done—particularly uncomfortable in more ways than one. Even worse they only waited ten minutes, maximum.

Mrs Weasley had allowed Teddy to escape her clutches. She had returned to her tea and was dabbing surreptitiously at her eyes. Ron had turned the radio on, and told Lily and Hugo to go back upstairs when they tried to sneak around the ajar kitchen door—now firmly shut.

Harry's fingers were tapping a sad rhythm against his fresh mug when the Patronus arrived.

It was a wolf, just as before. Its fur was silky; it looked much healthier, somehow, than the last time Harry had seen it. Not that he remembered in the slightest when that was. He half thought his own mind was playing tricks on him, giving it a brighter glow and a softer look in its eye.

When it opened its mouth to speak, Harry looked to Teddy in instinct. It was filled with wonderment.

'Thank you for asking, Harry, but we have everything we need here. The Room is just brilliant, and the elves have been very accommodating. Lavender and Dora say hello, of course, and Fred wants you to know he'd like to leave soon because he doesn't want to have to actually finish his NEWTs. Thank you again, Harry. Keep us updated—keep in touch.'

Mrs Weasley buried her face in her hands as Mr Weasley pressed his own to the crown of her lowered head. Ron's mouth hung open at Remus' voice. Teddy merely looked amazed, with a sheen over his eyes that stared at the spot the wolf had vanished into seconds ago.

AN: Thank you for bearing with me. Not the longest chapter, but still something… life's been a killer recently!