"You be safe, Neville," Gran said as they arrived in the sitting room, Lily with a piece of toast hanging from her mouth. "Don't let Lily get you into any trouble, now."

"I resent that," Lily said with a full mouth.

"I saw your record from the previous year, young lady."

"None of that was my fault!"

"And, yet, trouble keeps finding you," Gran said, flipping the page on her paper. "I'd appreciate if you at least kept my grandson out of it." Lily's face was still plastered all across the front page, and Gran seemed to give it a little shake to emphasize her point. Just seeing it made her feel nauseous.

"Drop it, Gran," Neville said awkwardly.

"Go on, then," Gran said with a sigh. "And happy birthday, Lily."

"Thanks," Lily grumbled. She took the first pinch of Floo powder and tossed it into the fireplace, stepping into it immediately after the flames turned green. "The Burrow."

Lily was proud of herself as she stepped through on the other side. She didn't feel the slightest amount of sickness and hardly had any ash on her at all. She was less proud of how she felt the instant she saw the bright red banner that read "Happy Birthday, Lily!" hanging from the kitchen ceiling.

"There you are," Mrs. Weasley said as she whisked Lily towards the kitchen table. "No cooking for you today, young lady. You just let me handle everything."

"I don't mind," Lily said as food was piled on a plate for her. Lily dug in, neglecting to mention that she'd already eaten just minutes before.

"I know you don't," Mrs. Weasley said as she kissed Lily's head. "But I won't have you lift a single finger today."

Lily doubted that would happen. Every other kid found themselves with loads to do on their birthdays, and even if Mrs. Weasley didn't assign her anything, she'd find something to do. She needed to ward off that disapproving look Percy was giving her from across the table. She started by eating faster.

"I better be off, mum," Percy said quickly, his face reddening as he realized Lily saw him staring. "Mr. Crouch will be expecting me."

"What are you doing today?" Lily asked, hoping it would help.

"I've been writing a report on the thickness of imported cauldron bottoms all week," Percy said proudly, seemingly forgetting who was asking. "I laid it on Mr. Crouch's desk last night. He should have read it by now, and I'll need to be there to answer any questions."

"Surely, you won't need to stay late tonight," Mrs. Weasley chided him. "Bill and Charlie will be here any moment now!"

"Sorry, mum," Percy said as he shoved some toast in his mouth and threw on his robe. "But I can't leave the office until Mr. Crouch does, and he doesn't leave until there isn't a single thing left to do."

And with that (and awkwardly pushing past Neville to get into the fireplace), Percy was gone.

"Good riddance," Ron said as he sat next to Lily.

"Hush," Mrs. Weasley said as she gave Ron even more food than she did Lily. Neville got the same amount. Lily was starting to feel jealous. It was a good thing she still had her secret stash upstairs.

"When are Bill and Charlie going to get here?" Ron asked. He sounded excited about it. Lily wondered if Charlie was going to bring them anymore of those stouts they drank the last year. She'd have to make sure not to have quite as many in a single sitting; she didn't think she could take another lecture from Mrs. Weasley.

"Bill should be here any second, now," Mrs. Weasley said, glancing out the window above the stove. "Charlie said he'd be here before the party, but he didn't give me an exact time."

"Says he's still at work," Ron said, leaning over to glance at the large clock in the sitting room.

"He should be getting off early," Mrs. Weasley said. "He said that nice girl he works with, Maggie, is covering him while he's gone."

"He finally got a date?" Ron asked.

"Of course not," Mrs. Weasley said with an irritated sigh. "I'm starting to wonder if he's interested in girls at all." Lily noticed the little glance sent her way and tried her best not to squirm in her seat.

"I'm going to tell him you said that."

"Hush, Ron," Mrs. Weasley said. "It'd be nice if he just settled down and started a family already, and that goes for the both of them."

"She just doesn't like having them so far away," Ron whispered to his two friends.

"There's Sirius," Mrs. Weasley said, glancing out the window again. "Lily, dear, why don't you run upstairs, I'll tell him you're just freshening up. You look like you could use the break."

"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley," Lily said, hurriedly scarfing down her food so she could follow the suggestion. She did need the break. If she let Sirius corner her so quickly, he'd have her outside for practice in no time, and she hardly slept a wink the previous night. She was too riled up from the paper and their visit with the Longbottom parents.

Unfortunately, that was exactly what happened, even after she stalled for half an hour. Just as soon as she came downstairs, Sirius led her outside to the garden, even though Lily very much wanted to join in on welcoming Bill. She had something very important to ask him.

"Can't let your training slip," Sirius said as she slipped on her mitts. "You'll have to find a nice boy at Beauxbatons who's willing to let you beat the shite out of him."
"Why would I do that?" Lily asked.

"To keep up your training, I just said that," Sirius said. "Speaking of boys, though, I'm told you've got a little date with one in just a few days."

"I'm not dating Cedric," Lily said, feeling her face grow a bit warm.

"Give it time," Sirius said with a wink. "You'll come around."

"I don't think he even fancies me," Lily said, tightening the gloves around her wrists.

"Lily, I'm going to let you in on a little secret," Sirius said. "A boy like him doesn't just invite a girl like you to his house to play Quidditch."

"Sae's going to be there with her brother," Lily said. Sirius threw her a little test punch, and she moved out of the way.

"And I'm sure the both of them are in on it," Sirius said, blocking a punch of her own. "Keep your form steady, Lily, you'll slip if you keep moving like that. And don't chew your lip while we're practicing. You're supposed to keep your guard in your mouth."

Lily moved it back in, fighting hard to resist the urge to keep chewing. There was a question on her lips that she desperately wanted to ask, ever since she got off the train. But between Ginny avoiding her like the plague and her own, painful memories, she just didn't want anybody else to hate her.

What if I don't like boys?

"Why are we even doing this?" she asked instead, trying to vent her frustration in a different way.

"Because you should know how to defend yourself," Sirius said plainly. "You've got the talent for it, and with those potions you keep taking, you have the muscle for it, too. Or, you will, at least. Most wizards don't bother with physical training. You'd be surprised how much of an advantage it'll be in a fight. If you get disarmed, they won't expect you to get in close, let alone throw a punch."

"I won't get disarmed," Lily said confidently.

Sirius laughed. "Then what happened last month?"

"I don't know," Lily mumbled. Sirius didn't hear it, though, not that she wanted him to. He didn't seem to believe that she simply couldn't remember what happened at the end of term, or, at the least, everything between climbing the steps to the Astronomy Tower and waking up next to Hermione and Katie. It was gone, now, locked away with everything else she wanted to forget, and she hoped it would never return.

"Do you not like it?" Sirius asked after a few minutes. "We can stop, if you want. I just thought- well- I just thought you would."

"I do like it," Lily said quickly. "I'm just- I'm a bit tired today, is all."

And both of those statements were true. She really did enjoy all the exercises she did with Sirius. It was just when the questions he asked got a bit personal, or dug a bit too far into her past, where she'd clam up and want to be anywhere else but here.

"Let's go for a quick run, then," Sirius suggested, dropping his fists and stance. "We can stop at the village for an ice cream, if you want. Just don't tell Molly; don't want her thinking I ruined your appetite."

Lily highly doubted anything could ever do that.

Charlie was here by the time they finished, although Lily still didn't get the chance to stay and chat. Mrs. Weasley sent her upstairs immediately to freshen up, since she stank almost as badly as a Bundimun. But as she came out of the bathroom (with a towel wrapped securely around her head), she did manage to run into Bill alone and unsupervised.

"Can I ask you something real quick?" she said, grabbing onto his arm before he could pass her on the stairs. He still looked the same as the last time she saw him, with his long, ginger hair pulled back in a tail, although this time he had a fanged-earring on his right ear to accompany it. She was sure that went over quite well with his mum.

"Yeah, alright," Bill said. "What do you want?"

"I need to show you something," Lily said as she pushed open her bedroom door. She had it (temporarily) enchanted to only allow her access, but Bill could come in so long as she was with him. "Can you keep a secret?"

"So long as it isn't life-threatening," Bill said with a shrug. "But, I'm warning you, if it's in a sensitive area, you should probably show it to mum instead. I might have healed Ron's- err- Ron after the twins fed him that taffy, but I'm no-"

"Bloody hell, gross, it isn't anything like that," Lily said, her face growing red. "Merlin, I'm just- I'm working on something, and I didn't want anybody else to see. It's supposed to be a surprise."

"Oh," Bill said, scratching at the back of his head. "Sorry. That was- What is it?"

"Over here," Lily said, ignoring the burning in her face as she gestured to her desk.

Bill picked up one of the golden wristwatches from the wooden surface, squinting to look at the face of it in the dim light of her room (she kept a blanket over her window to block out light, since she normally went to bed very late and, therefore, needed to sleep as long as possible).

"Why are there so many hands?" Bill asked.

"I haven't gotten the chance to engrave any of the names, yet," Lily said nervously.

"Names?" Bill asked. He looked back down at the desk, where nine more watches were laying in a row. One of them was taken apart, the gears and parts scattered around while Lily worked her magic.

"Names," Lily confirmed. "I- err- well- I haven't- haven't quite figured out how the clock works, yet."

"The clock?" Bill asked, staring at her with a raised eyebrow. "What are you- Oh! You're- Blimey, Lily, this is-"

"I know," Lily said quickly, cutting him off. "But I don't know how to finish it, not by myself. I asked Lupin what spell he used for- well, it doesn't matter- but he couldn't remember, and I won't get the chance to check, since I'm not going back to Hogwarts."

"So, you asked me?" Bill said.

"You're a cursebreaker," Lily said. "Mu- Molly says you got perfect scores on all your OWLs and NEWTs, too. You've got to know something."
Bill smiled proudly, setting the watch he was still holding back down gingerly on the desk. "One for each of us, eh? All ten of us?"

"Yeah," Lily said, feeling her face blush again. "If you- err- if you don't think they'd mind if- if I had one."

"Of course they wouldn't, Lily," Bill said, clasping a strong hand on her shoulder. "I'll have to do some digging, I've never done anything like this myself, but it'll have to wait until I get back to Egypt. I left all my things there. I'll send it to you at school."

"Just don't forget," Lily said as they broke apart, feeling strangely emotional.

"You should head downstairs," Bill said as they left her room. "That friend of yours just arrived."

"Hermione!" Lily said cheerily as she began running down the steps. She turned the corner into the kitchen as fast as she could, immediately spotting the bushy, brown haired girl standing near the counter chatting quietly with Ginny.

"Lily!" Hermione said with a broad smile as she turned to face the other girl. She had a scar on one of her cheeks, thin and white, that stretched as she smiled. She didn't have the time to hide her large front teeth; Lily had her arms pinned to her sides in a tight hug before a second had passed.

"You've gotten bigger!" Lily said, pulling her even closer. She smelled like mint.

"Lily, you're killing me."

"Good," Lily said, squeezing her even harder. "I haven't seen you in forever. I earned this."

"How'd you do on your exams?" Hermione asked, resigning herself to her fate.

"Yeah, that's fine," Ginny grumbled. "Just forget about me, that's fine. I'll talk to you later, Hermione."

"What's wrong with Ginny?" Hermione asked, awkwardly patting Lily's back.

"Nothing," Lily squeezed, squeezing even tighter. "Don't worry about it, she'll get over it eventually."

"Lily, it's too hot out for this."

"We're not out."

"The window's open!"

"Someone's feeling clingy today," Ron said as he entered the kitchen with Neville. "Good thing she doesn't have two more arms, mate, or she'd grab us, too."

"Like I'd want that," Lily said, still hanging onto the girl. "You smell like Buckbeak on the best of days."

"I thought you liked Buckbeak!"

"It's a charming smell for a horse, Ron, not a wizard."

"Don't let him hear you call him a horse, Lily," Hermione said. "He already almost killed you once."

"That was hardly a mortal wound," Lily said, finally letting the girl go, although she missed the warmth.

"She'd know, being an expert," Neville said.

"I'm starting to catch up," Hermione said. Lily noticed her smile falter a bit at the thought of it, but she said nothing.

"Dumbledore wouldn't let me come visit you," Lily whispered as the others moved a bit further away. "And Sirius wouldn't let me come, either. Said it wouldn't do me any good."

"I'm fine now, Lily," Hermione said at the same volume. "They just wanted to keep me past the first full moon just- just in case."

Lily saw Hermione start to raise her fingers to her mouth, to chew the nails, and then lower the hand as she realized what she was doing.

"I know I'm not one to talk," Lily said, pulling her into a much softer hug. "But if you need to talk about it, I'm here."

Hermione glanced nervously over at the rest of the kids. Fred and George were down here now, joining in on Ginny and Ron's loud discussion on Quidditch.

"The scars won't go away," Hermione said quietly, squeezing Lily much harder.

"Mine won't, either," Lily said. Hers were right across her belly, where Lupin tried to rake out her guts with his clawed hand. Or, at least, that's what she was told happened. She was a little fuzzy on that part, on account of all the concussions she was suffering from at the time.

"I hate them," Hermione said.

Lily pulled away, running a hand delicately over the long, taut scar on Hermione's right cheek, wiping away a tear that wouldn't fall from her eye.

"It looks good on you," she said with a smile.

"I hate it," Hermione whispered again, eyes downward in shame.

"I can show you some ways to cover it," Lily offered. "Lavender showed me in first year, for my forehead, but I've never bothered. If they bother you that much, Hermione, I can teach you, but you shouldn't be ashamed of them. You saved my life. This proves that."

And just to prove her own point, Lily kissed Hermione on the cheek, right where the scar was.

"I think they're brilliant," Lily said with a smile, doing her best to ignore the glare Ginny was giving her from across the room.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said, hurrying to wipe at her face with the sleeve of her shirt. When the cloth left, Lily noticed how red her cheeks were. "This is supposed to be your day, we're supposed to be celebrating, and here I am being- being-"

"Like me," Lily said with a laugh. "Don't beat yourself up about feeling down, Hermione. I do that enough for all of us."

"Still," Hermione said. "Happy birthday, Lily." Hermione leaned in close again. "You know, you never did tell me when your actual one is."

Lily hesitated, glancing around the rest of the room. None of them were watching her, not even Sirius, who was speaking with the Weasley parents in the sitting room. Ginny was back to talking with Ron and Neville, completely refusing to look in her direction.

"Can I show you something?" she said, making her decision.

"Of course you can," Hermione said, running a hand over her own scar. "Anything you want."

Lily took Hermione by the hand and then led her upstairs to her bedroom (Lily had to undo her enchantment so that Hermione could come in and out, since they'd be sharing a room). Hermione took a seat on her bed while Lily went to her wardrobe and rummaged around in the contents at the bottom.

"You still keep that Gwenog Jones poster above your bed?" Hermione asked teasingly.

"What about it?" Lily asked, feeling her cheeks flush. It was a good thing Hermione couldn't see her.

"Nothing," Hermione said with a hum. "I think it's cute."

Lily had to dig a little deeper into her box of treasures to find what she was looking for, but when she did, she sat quietly next to Hermione and opened her photo album, looking for a specific place.

"Who are they?" Hermione asked, leaning in closer so their shoulders touched.

"My parents," Lily said softly. Hermione leaned her head onto Lily's shoulder completely.

"You look just like them," she said.

"I hated them, last year," Lily admitted, pausing on a scene of her parents dancing at their wedding, holding each other close and smiling brightly.

"Why?" Hermione asked, sounding as if the idea, the mere thought of it, was completely foreign to her.

"Because Snape made me," Lily said. "He- he kept telling me that they'd hate that I was- that I was nothing but a- a disappointment."

"Oh, Lily-"

"I still hate them," Lily said. She could feel her eyes burning. "But not for- not for that. For something else."

"Lily," Hermione said quietly. "You shouldn't let somebody else ruin them for you."

"I haven't," Lily said. "They ruined themselves."

"I don't get it."
"Here," Lily said, finding the photo she was looking for, turning the pages in silence as Hermione watched her carefully.

"Your birthday?" Hermione asked. She ran a finger over the bright banner that read Happy Birthday, Hazel! "Is this the real one?"

"Yeah," Lily said, her voice thick. "Look out the- the window."

"It looks like it's raining," Hermione said, leaning forward and squinting slightly.

"It's snowing," Lily said angrily. "It was January."

"Lily-"

"My birthday is 23rd January," Lily said, flexing the fingers on her left hand. "I've been fourteen for months."

"Lily, you need to-"

"They lied, Hermione," Lily said, slamming the book shut and tossing it to the ground as she began to pace. "They lied, Hermione, and then they went and got themselves killed for it."

"Lily, please calm down" Hermione asked. "There has to be a reasonable explanation for-"

"Because there was a stupid prophecy!" Lily said. "A boy was supposed to be born near the end of July, and he was supposed to defeat Voldemort. My mum, she- she'd been pregnant for months before it was made, they'd been hiding to keep her safe, and then- then they just went and kept pretending!"

"But why, Lily?" Hermione asked. "You can't just force somebody to fit a prophecy, Trelawney was quite clear about that, at least."
"They didn't do it because they wanted me to be the 'chosen one.'" Lily said mockingly, her face twisting into a sneer. "They did it because they wanted to- to protect the one who was."

"Who?" Hermione asked. "They wouldn't have even been born yet, why would they want to take the risk?"

"Because the Longbottoms were pregnant," Lily said, her fingers flexing again. "And they were friends."

"Neville?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"That's right," Lily said. She felt like she needed to hit something. "If the Longbottoms were the only ones with a son born in July, Voldemort would have stopped at nothing to kill them. They thought they could lure him into a trap if they gave him two choices."

"So they used you," Hermione said quietly.

Lily kicked at her rubbish bin, the crumpled papers and wrappers inside flying up into the air and scattering around her room.

"They didn't think it would matter if I died," Lily shouted. "They didn't think it'd matter if they died, if I had to- to- go live with them."

"Lily, please calm down-"

"Everything is their fault, Hermione," Lily said, angry tears running down her face. "It's their fault that I'm- that- that I'm like this."

"Come here, Lily," Hermione said, moving towards Lily's pillows and placing her back firmly against the wall.

Lily shook her head. "Sorry. I- I shouldn't have-"

"Come here, Lily," Hermione said more firmly, patting the bed next to her.

Lily walked forward slowly and sank onto the mattress's edge, her hands placed between her knees.

"I said come here."

"I don't-"

"Oh, just come here," Hermione said, pulling Lily closer towards her. She made Lily lay down on the bed, placing her head in her lap, so that she was using her thighs as a pillow and staring straight up at Gwenog Jones.

"Sorry," Lily said awkwardly, feeling ashamed of herself for her outburst.

"It's not your fault, Lily," Hermione said, running a hand through her hair. "None of this is."

"Still," Lily said, closing her eyes and leaning back a little closer. "I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. Lupin hates it when I do that. Says I shouldn't scream at other people just because I'm angry."

"You shouldn't," Hermione agreed. "But it's alright. I don't know everything you've been through, but I much prefer that to you not talking to me for weeks."

"Sorry."

"I'm here for you," Hermione said. "I promised. You can talk to me about anything, even if it does get you screaming."

"I do feel better," Lily admitted. "Like- I don't know, like a hole's been drilled in a cauldron, and the poison is all leaking out. Does that make sense?"

"Maybe?" Hermione said with a laugh. "It's no good to keep all these things bottled up. I know there's so much you can't tell me, that you might never be able to, but whatever you can, I'll hear you out. I promise."

"I'm sorry I'm so- so broken."

"You're not broken, Lily," Hermione said, running a hand gently over her face. "You're just like that cauldron, except, instead of a hole, you're overflowing. You just need some of your liquid drained. That's all."

"Thanks, Hermione," Lily said. "This- I'm sorry I brought you up here. You're right. This is supposed to be a happy day."

"I brought you a present," Hermione said. "But I think I'll save it for January. Merlin, this means you're only a few months younger than I am!"

"I guess so," Lily said awkwardly. She'd never even thought of it before this point.

"Are you going to tell everybody?"

"I haven't decided, yet," Lily said after a pause. "Sirius says Dumbledore fixed all my birth records after he revealed I'm a girl, so I won't have to worry about that, but it won't be public until I turn 17."

"Maybe you should do it early," Hermione suggested. "I saw the paper when I came in. I don't think they'd appreciate you keeping it hidden for long, even if you do deserve to."

"Maybe," Lily said.

There was a knock at her door, and Lily opened her eyes and turned her head just in time to see Charlie opening it. He seemed surprised to see them sitting like they were, but neither girl moved. Lily was far too comfortable for that.

"Just wanted to make sure everything was alright," he said, hand still on the knob. "We heard shouting from downstairs."

"We're alright," Lily said, raising her head just slightly. "Just got a bit too excited when she showed me my gift."

"Right," Charlie said, not quite sounding like he believed it, his eyes glancing around at all the trash still scattered across the floor, lingering on the dented bin. "Mum wants to know if you want the party now or later."

"Later," Lily said, snuggling closer into Hermione. "I could use a nap." She closed her eyes again just to prove the point.

"I'll let her know, then," Charlie said, still lingering. "Err- Hermione, do you want me to bring your things up?"
"I'll get them later," Hermione said.

"Have a good one, then," Charlie said, finally closing the door.

Hermione was quiet for a while, her hand tracing Lily's cheeks and jaw, and Lily felt herself starting to doze off. She couldn't remember the last time she fell asleep this quickly, but before she knew it, she was gone.

"I told you, I've been practicing," Lily said in a whispered French, head bent low with Hermione at the table.

"I just wanted to make sure," Hermione said. "Mum's been helping me, but I wasn't sure you had anybody here."

"Ron's been trying to learn," Lily said louder, looking straight at the boy. "Isn't that right?"

"Yes," Ron said, his face a bright red. "I- err- I eat French good."

"See?" Lily said with a laugh. "He's practically an expert!"

"If the two of you are done showing off," Sirius said expertly, almost too quickly for Lily's brain to keep up with, "I think Molly's coming with the presents."

"You speak French?"Lily asked in a tone of outrage. "Bloody hell, Sirius, what's the point of all the boxing, you could have been helping me!"

"You're plenty good enough!" Sirius said with a laugh. "Don't know how you got so good so quickly, to be honest. I had mine drilled in my head starting at four."

"I made us potions," Lily grumbled, drumming her fingers on the table.

"At this stage, there's not much more you can do, other than get some experience in with native speakers," Sirius said. "You'll probably have a hard time for the first couple of weeks, maybe even a month, but you'll get used to it quick enough."

"Here you are, Lily," Mrs. Weasley said as she dumped a load of wrapped bundles and packages in front of her. "Happy Birthday, dear."

"Do ours first," Fred and George said together, trying to pull the largest one out of the pile.

"Actually," Sirius said, choosing a thin envelope from the top of the bundle. "I think you better do mine, first. It's for the whole lot of you."

"All of us?" Lily asked curiously, taking the envelope anyway. It was a plain red, not even sealed. When Lily opened it, she saw nearly a dozen, small pieces of paper inside. When she pulled them out, most of the table around her hissed sharply, Fred and George whooping. It took Lily a moment to catch up. She had to read the lettering on the front, first.

"You didn't!" Ron said in awe.

"You beautiful bastard," Fred said, grabbing Sirius eagerly by the shoulder.

"Fred Weasley!"

"Sorry, mum!"

"The Quidditch World Cup?" Lily said, hardly able to believe what she was saying.

"Tickets have been sold out for months," Arthur said, his mouth hanging open. "I tried to grab some, couldn't be done. How did you-"

Sirius smiled widely. "Fudge happened to owe me a really big favour. Tell them where we're sitting, Lily."

"The top box!" Lily said, her eyes growing wide. "Front row!"

George had to catch his brother to stop him from collapsing onto the ground.

"How much did those cost you?" Mrs. Weasley asked, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Not a single Knut," Sirius said with a wink. "We just have to take a few photos with Fudge, that's all, shake a couple of hands."

"It's worth it," Lily said, hardly paying attention. Her eyes were still glued to the tickets.

"We're all going?" Neville asked.

"Well," Sirius said warily, "We're two short, I'm afraid. I forgot Charlie and Bill were coming to visit."

"I'll stay," Mrs. Weasley said happily. "It'll be nice to get some reading done."

"And there's no way Percy wants to come," Fred said, still sounding dazed. "Not with his precious Mr. Crouch needing him."

"Crouch will be there at the game," Arthur said. "He's helping with security detail. Percy might be able to go with him, to assist."

"It's settled, then," Sirius said, clapping his hands together. "Well, go on, Lily, open up the rest of them."

Lily hardly remembered what the rest of the items were, although she did remember shoving an absurd amount of fudge into her mouth, courtesy of Mrs. Weasley. She didn't think anybody minded, though, not with the revelation that they'd be attending the biggest game of the century. They weren't likely to see another England hosted Cup in their lifetimes, which was saying something, considering wizards tended to live well over a century.

There was one gift that grabbed her attention, though, if only because it came from somebody Lily never would have expected. When she tore apart the thick, fancy, green paper to find a similarly fancy robe inside (fashioned with silver snake on the sleeves and shoulders, with some matching silver bracelets of the same theme), Lily thought somebody was having her on.

"Check the card," Neville suggested upon seeing her face.

Dear Potter,

Happy birthday! I tried to speak with you after your little demonstration with Malfoy, but those two friends of yours kept me away. As if I would have tried anything after the way you completely embarrassed Parkinson. Still, you really should have a word with them; its completely improper to keep away your supporters for half a year, don't you think?

Anyway, the Heir of Slytherin should look like a proper one, shouldn't she? Saw your picture in the prophet from your store opening; I wouldn't have been caught dead in that outfit, personally. I made this one for you myself (with just a bit of guidance from my mother). I'd absolutely love to make your dress for you, too; we should get together once we're back at Hogwarts.

Daphne Greengrass

Greengrass Embroidery and Tailoring

"Greengrass?" Lily said with a scoff. "Where does she get off sending me something?"

"Probably cursed," Ron helpfully suggested.

"I mean, I've hardly even said a word to her!" Lily said, not at all forgetting that the girl said quite a few nasty things about her.

"Well," Hermione said nervously, "that- err- might have been our fault."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Well," Hermione said again, her face flushing slightly. "You see- err- you were just so busy sulking all the time, and we figured the last thing you wanted was for anybody to bother you, so- so we kept them away."

"How many?" Lily asked, realizing, for the first time, just how little people bothered her after her duel.

"I'd say about half the house, really," Hermione said with a shrug. "Half of them wanted you to teach them what you did, the other half wanted to teach you how to be better. I'm surprised you didn't notice everybody staring at you all the time."

"Blimey," Lily said, leaning back into her chair and rubbing at her forehead. "I thought they were just all scared of me."

After they were finished, Hermione and Neville ran off to write home, so they could get the necessary permissions to stay for the Cup. Sirius pulled her to the side while the rest of the family funneled inside.

"I have something else for you," Sirius said, removing a small piece of glass from his robe.

"A mirror?" Lily asked as she took it. "I already have one, thanks. Lavender gave it to me. It compliments me when I do my make-up." And it was very flattering, too.

"This isn't for that," Sirius said with a smirk. "It's a Two-Way Mirror. James and I used a pair in school, so we could talk during detentions if they tried to separate us. I've got the other one. Just say my name while you're holding it, and I'll pick it up."

"Oh," Lily said, feeling genuinely surprised at how much the thought that somebody would want to talk to her made her feel good. "Thanks!"

"Don't know if it'll work cross continent, yet," Sirius said, gladly accepting the hug she was offering.

"I guess we'll find out," Lily said, unable to wipe the smile off her face as she tucked the mirror carefully into her pocket.

"You should run up and grab your robe," Sirius said, patting his own. "There's somewhere I want to take you. I think you'll really like it."

"Alright," Lily said as she hurried to obey.

Her room was empty when she arrived. Lily went straight for her wardrobe, hand resting on a red robe, and then hesitated, glancing back towards her new set of deep green and silver.

"Why not?" Lily said, shrugging to nobody but herself.

She met him back downstairs and they left the house together, walking down the long drive. The snake bracelets wrapped down her forearm, the tail stopping at her elbow and the head resting on the back of her hand, always just poking out from the hem of her sleeve. Lily was torn between thinking the ensemble looked completely ridiculous and absolutely loving it.

"You apparate, yet?" Sirius asked, snapping her from her thoughts.

"Yeah," Lily said.

"I meant by yourself," Sirius said. "Not assisted."

"Of course not," Lily said. "We don't learn that until sixth year."

"James and I had it done in our fourth," Sirius said with a fond smile. "Thought you might have done it earlier, you seem to be further ahead on the curve than we were."

"Sorry," Lily said. She hated disappointing people.

"I'll teach you," Sirius said enthusiastically. "We'll just add it onto the list. I might be able to convince Fudge to let you take the exam early, for your own safety. I'm sure he'd hate you getting kidnapped again."

"How do you do it?" Lily asked.

Sirius laughed again. "I'm not going to teach you now, blimey. Just grab my arm."

Lily did so, and in the blink of an eye, they were somewhere else. There were cottages around them, framed by trees, and a few pedestrians walked along the cozy village streets. There were a couple of teenagers laying in a nearby park, staring up the sky while they held hands. Lily could see a church a short distance away, and there was a pub nearby, too, with people constantly filtering in and out of it.

"Godric's Hollow," Sirius said as he watched her. "Your parents' favourite place in the world."

"Really?" Lily asked. "I thought they liked Hogwarts the best." She couldn't relate to that, not anymore, anyway, but she understood why everybody else seemed to like it so much.

"No, they liked it here, more," Sirius said as he began moving forward. "This is where they had you."

"Oh," Lily said solemnly. "So- so this is- this is where they-"

"Died," Sirius finished for her. "And over there is where they're buried."

Lily followed Sirius's finger towards the church, where a graveyard sat next door. Despite everything she said before, she found herself clamming up. She hadn't realized how much she wanted this. She never even thought about it before.

"I won't take you to the house," Sirius said after a long pause, where he wouldn't stop watching her. "Maybe later, but it- it'd be too much for a first visit."

Lily just nodded her agreement. As they neared the graveyard, she found she didn't have much of a voice.

"Listen, Lily," Sirius said anxiously. "About your birthday-"

They were passing through the gate, now, the first row of tombstones surrounding them.

"I'm here, if you want to tell everyone," Sirius said, putting a kind hand on her shoulder. "I know it's hard, and I- I know you probably don't understand it. I didn't, either, when they told me. If you want to make things right, I'm with you, one hundred percent."

Lily nodded her thanks. That was all she could manage. Sirius was leading her past all the stones, some ancient and faded (one had some sort of strange triangle carved into it), some fresh and shiny, until they stopped before one in particular, large enough to take up two plots, a husband and wife laying side by side.

JAMES POTTER

BORN 27 MARCH 1960

DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981

LILY POTTER

BORN 30 JANUARY 1960

DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death

Lily sat down hard, not able to support herself. Sirius sat down more gently, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Mum was older," Lily said quietly, running a hand over her name.

"Nobody ever told you?" Sirius asked.

Lily shook her head.

"Here," Sirius said, digging into his robes. "I- I wasn't sure if- if I was going to give this to you. It's the last letter I have from them, before- well, they- they wrote more, but, I- I didn't save them. I didn't think that- that I'd need them. But you should have it. They would have wanted that."

Lily took the paper that was offered in a shaking hand.

Dear Padfoot,

Thank you, thank you, for Hazel's birthday present! It was her favourite by far! One year old, and already zooming along on a toy broomstick, she looked so pleased with herself, I'm enclosing a picture so you can see for yourself. It only rises about two feet off the ground, but she almost killed the cat! Of course, James thought it was funny, says she's going to be a great Quidditch player, but we've had to pack away all the ornaments (we couldn't be bothered until now) and make sure we don't take our eyes off of her when she gets going.

We were so sorry you couldn't come, but the Order comes first, and Dumbledore insists we don't break the Fidelius, not for anyone he doesn't approve. Course, he thinks you're the secret keeper, but it's best to keep up appearances, don't you think? It's not like Hazel knows it's her birthday anyway!

James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell. That man, always needing to be moving, to be doing something, you and him both. But Dumbledore still has his cloak, so that means no little excursions. He told me to ask if you want to grab a pint just as soon as he has it back, he's been dying for one. Wormy was here last weekend. I thought he seemed a little down, but I heard about his mother from Moony just last week. Poor thing. You'll have to keep an eye on him for us. And check in on Moony, too! He writes more than you and Wormy, but we're still worried!

Lots of love,

Lily

"I should give you a moment," Sirius said as she finished reading, her tears dripping onto the parchment and staining the ink. "I think I'll take a walk. Take as much time as you need. I'll wait for you near the gate."

Lily heard Sirius walk off, her eyes glued to the paper even as it became too blurry to read. She clung it tightly to the chest, hanging desperately onto the paper that proved that her mother was once here, and that she cared deeply for a daughter that desperately wanted to see her.

"Hey," she said, her voice thick, just wanting somebody to speak. She leaned her head against the cool stone of her mother's grave, just to pretend she could hear something in return.

"I'm living with the Weasleys," Lily said, trying to continue on. "I know that you- you probably wanted me to stay with Sirius, but- well- he probably told you himself. But they're great! I- I love them. They treat me like I'm- like I'm family. They've got this clock, see, and it's- well, it's got all these hands, one for each family member. And I've got one. A hand. It said 'Lily' on it, just like- like-"

"I go by Lily," Lily said after a pause. "It just- I don't know. I didn't want to. Not at first, but- well- It's taken awhile, but, I- I love it. I love you. I just- it makes me feel closer, you know? I'm sorry if I've been a- a disappointment, or- if you hate me using it. But I'm trying. I hope that- that someday you'll think that I'm worth it."

"You're probably wondering why it took me so long to come," Lily said. "I just- I didn't even know where you were buried until- until today. Sorry. Petunia- Petunia n-never let me visit, I wasn't- I couldn't even ask about you, but she- she always- I had to be just like you, and I- I hate it. I hate you."

"Why did you do it?" Lily asked, her eyes squeezed shut to block out the pain. "All you h-had to do was n-nothing! All you had to do w-was just- you just had to- to be with me. I just- that's all I've- They left me with Petunia, and she- she- I'm s-sorry, I- I didn't mean to b-be this way, but I- I fuck everything up. I always h-have, and- and she- she used to- she'd hit me a-and-"

"My hand," Lily said gasping for air, "I-I-I- I used to use my l-left, but you used your right, and- and Petunia hated that, I had to be like you, otherwise- so she- she m-made me hold it to a b-burner a-and- and I can- I can still feel it, I can- I just wanted her to- to be proud of me, to- to tell me that I wasn't such a freak, that I was- that I was as good as Dudley. That's all I-"

"There's so much more," Lily said, her throat aching. "I just- I can't remember any of it. I can't remember. They c-could have done- there has to be worse, and I- I can't- I'll never- Nobody ever even- they didn't- they never even t-told me I was a w-witch, and whenever I- I did something, they'd- they'd punish me and- and that would just make me do it again, so- I- I thought I deserved it. I c-couldn't do what they w-wanted, so- so- b-but I-"

"I tried to k-kill myself. I couldn't t-take it anymore, but R-Remus, he- he saved me. He was never the traitor, he was- he's a good man. He just wants to h-help but I can't- I can't tell anyone. I just freeze up. It hurts all over again, and I'm sure that they'll that they'd h-hate me for everything that I've done, that they'd- they'd realize that I need to be hurt, or I c-can't- I just- I just want to see you again. Please. J-just- just do something! I- I can't keep- I just want- I just want-"

Lily couldn't finish the sentence. She couldn't bring herself to speak anymore. She wished Sirius hadn't left, she wished Hermione was here, she wished somebody would just hold her or talk to her. The truth was undeniable, no matter how badly she wanted to believe otherwise, and no matter how she begged between her cries.

Lily and James Potter were dead. They never got to see her grow up, they never got to meet her friends, they never got to hold her, or talk with her, to deal with her tantrums or mood swings, to give her advice or scold her for doing something stupid.

Lily wiped at her eyes, but she couldn't stop how quickly the tears were coming, how hard her sobs came out of her. She wanted to hate them for doing this to her, for leaving her behind, for her time with the Dursleys, for everything that went wrong in her life. She wanted to leave, so she'd have an excuse to keep pretending, to keep being angry, to pretend she didn't care one whit about whether or not they lived or died. But she couldn't.

More than anything, in this moment, she just wanted to hear them say "I love you."