North Stars
Chapter 10
It was two more weeks before Mike was able to call home and he could tell immediately that something was bothering Christine; especially when she cut short the time that he talked to their daughters and took the phone to their bedroom to talk. He waited patiently and finally she spoke.
"Mike; I haven't been feeling well, so I went to the doctor. Thought it might be nerves, but…" Christine started.
"Whatever it is; we will get through it." Mike interrupted.
"It's a…baby. That night, when you turned in your resignation…remember?" Christine asked.
"Yeah. A…baby? Is that even safe for you?" Mike asked.
"There are concerns. I went to an OBGYN that specializes in pregnancies with older mothers. Everything seems okay so far." Christine answered.
"I don't want you in danger. If there are issues…get rid of it." Mike said.
"But, Mike; there are no issues. The baby…the pregnancy; everything is fine." Christine answered.
"I don't want a baby. I do want my wife safe and sound. I don't even want you sick." Mike said.
"Mike; I am not having an abortion. You will love this baby. I know you. Sure…I wasn't sure at first but hearing the heartbeat…Mike; it was amazing." Christine insisted.
"Do the girls know?" Mike asked.
"Not yet. I didn't want to tell them before I told you." Christine answered.
"All the more reason to not chance it. They don't know so they won't be attached." Mike said.
"But I am attached and I want this baby. I am fine and so far the baby is healthy. You will change your mind when you feel it kick or hear the heartbeat. Hold the baby the first time." Christine insisted.
"I will not be holding that baby or feeling it kick. All I care about is that you are okay. I don't want the damn baby." Mike insisted.
"Just…think; Mike. I am going to hang up before you say something you regret. I love you." Christine answered.
"I love you too." Mike said simply. The phone clicked; telling Mike that Christine had in fact hung up.
A baby was not in his plans. His plans were; retire, finish raising his daughters, getting them set up with college and careers, and Christine and him traveling a bit for fun. Diapers, midnight feedings, and years more of raising kids were not in his plans. He loved his daughters but getting attached to and loving another baby was not something he could do. He was too scared to love another child. He couldn't face the fact that he could lose another child and having another increased those chances.
To him; he was totally justified in his feelings. He loved his wife and wanted her to be alright. A pregnancy at forty-five was not safe. Of course; her pregnancies had been mostly uncomplicated. Hannah's was a little scary but Christine was young and healthy. Hannah had been perfect and Christine's pregnancy the next year with Lucas had been easy.
He would never force Christine to have an abortion, but he could choose not to love the baby. He was not going to change his mind about that. He pushed thoughts of the baby and Christine's pregnancy from his mind and walked to the bridge. He could tell by the chatter that there had been an enemy sighted in somewhere close, so he jumped into action; issuing orders for the entire fleet. He was just turning to the XO to issue another order when a shell hit the Michener and everything went black. His last thought was on Christine and his girls before he passed out.