Total Drama Homespun

by NondescriptNorbert

New Season, Old faces! A certain mildly-psychotic host has returned to the game after a season's absence. How does he plan to celebrate you ask? Simple! Gather Twenty-Three contestants from across reality and throw the greatest house party known to man. Spinoff of Total Drama Endless, new reader friendly.

6. Splitting the Cast

Homespun Episode Two: Splitting the Cast

Homespun is back! Happy New Year everyone. It's been a while. I may have intended back in October to putting the story on pause while I finished the Endless Epilogue, but while I was writing the latest chapter, my figure might have slipped thirteen thousand times and I wrote a Homespun episode as well. Also I figure that it might be nice to let those of you only reading Homespun that I'm not dead. Speaking of...

1602jaw: Glad you enjoyed the chapter. As you're about to see Fry and Leela are in for some interesting challenges now that they're rival captains.

thenewsubwayguy: Character driven dialogue is one of my favorite things to write so I'm very happy that you think I'm doing a good job of it. Entrapta (Who's been upgraded to season 4 since you last saw her) and Olivia will have plenty to talk about about. There interactions are going to be pretty interesting this season as they're both so similar and yet very distinct. Also Gary's definitely going to have to get his act together if he wants to stick around.

That Guy: Chris and Conner are going to take a little bit to get used to each other, as they have rather different hosting styles. Also Shego is already proving herself to be a very fun character to write. She reminds me somewhat of Beatrice from last season except Shego's completely secure about being a jerk and it's kind of great.

MemeKing the Third: Peach's absences from her homeland as gone on so long that it's starting to have consequences, which we might see come back in a big way later. The challenge was a fun one to write. I always find it funny in some of the canon seasons how willing contestants are to throw themselves into potentially deadly obstacles's on a whim. It was fun deconstructing that a little in the first challenge, with most of the cast refusing to go until they discover it's not as dangerous as it looks. Those with powers really got the short end of the stick, but they'll have their moments to shine soon enough.

Me: DON'T WORRY! Conner's not a self insert. I would never willingly subject my audience to something like that. He's actually based on a couple late night talk show hosts. Mainly Conan O'Brien, but there's a couple others squeezed in there. Also I apologize that Raggedy had to go first. I received a great cast from everyone that submitted characters and it was very difficult to establish and elimination order, especially for the early outs. Utilmately Raggedy drew the shortest straw which, honestly as Memeking pointed out is something of a cruel mercy. She was too pure and innocent for this crazy game and staying around too long might have ruined that. Otherwise I am glad you approve of the rest of the character writing.

---

Chris McLean grins. "Last time on Total Drama! New season! New old host! After my absence from Total Drama Endless I'm back! And so is Chef.

Last episode we were introduced to our exotic new season setting, The Rodney House. A strange place out in space that knows how to get a lot of living space out of a tiny universe. We brought the party with twenty-three guests from across reality and the then to keep them on their toes, we immediately threw them into their first challenge! The result... kind of disappointing honestly. Turns out no one here appreciates my style of challenge, so we played a bunch of children's games that totally could have been more dangerous. I mean seriously dude? If I can't drop my contestants fifty metres into a pool of piranhas why'd I even come back? Fortunately I've been making sure everyone else is on the same page so that my creative integrity won't be comprised from now on. Which is probably bad news for the contestants."

He chuckles sinisterly.

"Speaking of them! Last challenge ended with us picking to lucky team captains, couple of the future Fry and Leela, as well as two unlucky loser to be first up for elimination. Though it was a close vote between her and Shego, Raggedy Ann was our first contestant to go which... honestly I'm pretty happy about. Those eyes of hers were creeping me out.

Who will be next to go, find out today on Total Drama Homespun!"

---

...

Paradise

After one night in it's seemingly endless halls, that's how most of the contestants of the newest season of Total Drama would describe Mister Rodney Squirrel's ever impressive house.

The lavish quarters they had been given combined all the most enviable elements of a private mansion and a five star resort. The luxuries of which the twenty-two competitors of Total Drama Homespun had spend the evening making the most of.

Now after a heavenly night in their cozy beds the contestants were up and back at it. Enjoying a few last hours before the days challenges and their relocation. Their host Chris had (Regrettably) promised them that this would only be their home for a single night.

A good number of the contestants were down in the massive indoor water park-swimming pool-spa and sauna complex they had discovered they had access to the night prior. The young and young at heart are amusing themselves in the pool, Penny, Jack, Miko, and Meg. Slightly removed from their happy chaos Katara stands ankle deep in the water, practicing her particular mastery over the element.

Some of the older contestants watch on lazily from their pool chairs. Among them the 31st century couple, Fry and Leela. The two of them laying in a hammock nuzzled affectionally against once another.

Leela sighs happily.

"This is nice."

"Yeah…" Fry agrees, stretching the statement out with a relaxed contentment.

Besides them Shego grunts in agreement. The Villainess laying on her back in a bathing suit and shades, trying to catch some sun coming down from the skylight above.

"You know… got to say it… I'm kind of hoping those idiots just forget about the contest and leave us in here."

"I'm not." Fry says. "I'm excited to make my own team."

"That's sweet Fry." Leela tells him. "Just… try not to get your hopes up too high."

Her boyfriend looks confused.

"Why not?"

"How do I put this delicately?" Leela asks herself. "My team will be led by me, someone who has years of experience as a captain… and your team will have you."

"Why's that matter?" Fry asks wounded.

Leela gives him a pitiable smile then kisses him on the forehead.

"You're right, it doesn't matter. It's only a game." She reaches out and pinches his check. "What matters is your going to have fun before you get kicked out."

"Leela you don't understand, I'm going do everything I can to win this thing." Fry insists. "Mainly to impress you, but still-"

"That's nice Fry." Leela says distractedly.

…

Elsewhere in the massive guest quarters the staff members are sitting down for breakfast in a lavish dining chamber with windows that seem to overlook Italian vineyards.

"It appears we're being excluded."

Conner O'Gleeson and Princess Peach look up. Rosalina has just sat down next to them.

"What was that Rosalina?" Peach asks.

"The others… they are conspiring without us." Rosalina says pointing her wand.

They look.

The other principal members of the staff, Chris Mclean, Chef Hatchet, Rodney and even Jeremy and Daisy are all seated at the same table. Their heads together.

"Whatever could they be talking about?" Peach wonders. Conner grimaces pessimistically.

"I should probably check."

He gets up and walks over to their table. The others stop talking and look up as he approaches.

"You know fellas. Much as I love a good secret, I tend to prefer to be on the inside of one if you catch my drift." Conner says. Chris smiles back pleasantly.

"Don't we all? Unfortunately, this one doesn't concern you."

"Oh really? Why's that?"

"We came up with an awesome challenge for today but Chris didn't think you'd approve so he wasn't gonna tell you!" Daisy blurts out excitedly.

Chef Hatchet slams a hand over her mouth but the damage has already been done. Conner raises an eyebrow intrigued and looks to his associate.

"Jeremy sugarbear, is this true?"

Jeremy gurgles guiltily.

"Yeah it's true." Chris says eyeing Conner smugly. "Oh and FYI? Rodney, Daisy and your little friend here already gave the greenlight, so there's nothing you can do about it."

Conner chuckles.

"Gentleman I think there's something of a misunderstanding here. Just because I wasn't as big on the gross public humiliation on my season doesn't mean I'm a puritan. I like a good crazy challenge once and a while."

"Well you ain't gonna like this one." Chef tells him.

"I'll be the judge of that." Conner insists. "Lay it on me!"

They give him the details for the day. After they've finished, he stands there in silence for a few moments.

"Huh…" He says finally. The laughs softly to himself. "Well it'll go over well with the audience I'll say that much. The contestants might be another story."

"You approve Conner?" Rodney asks.

"Rodney you're the squirrel of the house. If it's got your blessing then I'm fine with it." He looks back over his shoulder. "Good luck trying to convince Peachy though."

Chris stands up and cranks his neck.

"Leave that to me."

He struts over to Peach and Rosalina, briming with his ever-present pride then leans on Peach's chair.

"Princess! Princess Peach! Can we talk real quick? Just the two of us?"

He flashes her a Hollywood grin. She giggles.

"Alright."

"Good."

He puts an arm around her shoulder and escorts her out of seat and over to the windows with their remarkable views.

"So… Princess. How are you settling in? Being an intern's pretty different than being a contestant isn't it?"

Peach nods. "Oh yes. It's a very big change. I'm very grateful I have my friends and subjects to here this time."

"Great! Great…" Chris says. "Course that's not the only different thing this season. You got me back as host again, and my style's… different from Conners."

"Yes I saw yesterday-"

"Yesterday's not my style." Chris says bluntly. "You saw a little of my style back in Endless remember that?"

Peach's smile hesitates however slightly at the memory.

"Yes it was very… what's the word? Overstimulating." Peach says.

"…But not the worst you've seen right?"

"Oh no."

"Good. Good. Well just to give you a heads up, starting today all these crazy dudes we got this season we'll be going through something like that. Not that they've got anything to worry about because I've already seen forty-nine other groups run through this game, and like you said they've got you and your little mushroom buddies to help out, isn't that right?"

"Right." Peach says smiling again.

"Awesome." Chris says. And he pats her on the head then walks back over to rest of the staff, he smirks broadly at the look of surprise on Conner's face.

"See what I mean? Easy."

Conner shakes his head in disbelief.

"Mclean, you got a talent for talking people into things."

"Uh yeah. Hello? It's my job remember?" Chris asks smugly. He chuckles to himself. "Now what are all we standing around for? Let's get this show rolling already."

…

Chris makes the announcement to gather in the main foyer and the contestants to so (with some understandable begrudging.) The staff are gathered and waiting for them when they arrive.

"Day two!" Chris says excitedly. "Housemates good to see you. I trust everyone sleep well?"

"Like a dream." Katara says.

"AWK! Vultureman's night was most agreeable!" Squawks Vultureman.

"Glad to hear it." Chris says. "I hope everyone enjoyed frolicking around here last night as one big happy family. Unfortunately, though it's time to introduce a little discord into paradise. Fry and Leela! Can I get you dudes to come on over?"

The two walk forward to stand beside him.

"There's my two captains."

"Ready for service! Sir!" Fry shouts, saluting.

"That's what I like to hear!" Chris says. "Now let's get some teams established. We'll do this dodgeball style. Oldest goes first."

"By a factor of millennium that's Fry." Leela says.

"Fry go ahead and pick your first teammate." Chris says. "But pick wisely, whoever you choice will be your partner in crime for at least half the g-"

"Vultureman!" Fry cries.

"Oh lord…" Leela says.

Vultureman let's out a squawk of importance than flies over to Fry.

"Excellent choice!"

"Now we get to friends forever!" Fry exclaims happily.

Vultureman caws cruelly.

"The Great and powerful Vultureman has no friends!"

"Then I'll be your first."

Fry's avian ally bends low and screeches in his face.

"VULTUREMAN HAS NO FRIENDS!"

"Alright already!" Fry cries, cowering.

Chris laughs at him then turns to Leela.

"Your turn. Pick your first choice."

"Yeah. Pick any of us!" Max says. "Just try not to separate me and Sam alright? I can't stand being apart from the big fella."

"Don't worry Max. We already agreed you and your little uh 'security object' both count as one contestant." Chris says. Frowning disapprovingly at the rabbit and his dog partner he smuggled in.

"That's a relief." Sam says.

Leela meanwhile is still deep in the throngs of contemplation. She rubs her chin as some of the competition vie for her attention.

"This is tough. Let's see…. Bruce people say decent things about you. Want to be on my team?"

"If you want me then alright." Bruce says, slightly surprised. He walks over to join her.

"Dammit!" Fry says. "Now Leela's got two smart people on her team. I need some of those."

In the crowd of contestants Wallace Wells chuckles and swivels a cosmopolitan. "I think you're fighting an uphill battle."

"Good point." Fry says "Hey you seem smart. Want to me on my team?"

Wallace sips his drink. Considers it for a moment, then shrugs.

"Sure. What's the worst that could happen?"

He and Fry high five. Leela turns back to crowd. Again, some of the contestants seem edger to volunteer. Steve Harrington has both thumbs pointed at himself and a look of confidence on his face. Next to him, Miko has her hand in the air and his bouncing up and down.

"Me! Me! Right here! Pick me dude!"

"How about that Steve kid?" Leela says.

Steve pumps his fist. "Wo! Fourth picked!"

"Dang it!" Miko cries.

"Who next?" Fry asks Wallace.

"I mean the vampire's still on the table."

"I figured we should save him for Leela."

"Listen buddy. I get she's your girlfriend but this is a competition. Take all the tall strong handsome guys for yourself." Wallace advices sternly.

"But we already have Vultureman."

"Fry it's alright. I don't want the vampire anyway?" Leela insists.

"But he's a vampire!" Fry says gesturing at Alucard, who as always was looming rigidly in the back of the crowd.

"Exactly." Leela says with a tone of disgust. "I don't want him hanging around my bedroom while I'm trying to sleep."

"I beg to differ." Says Wallace pleasantly.

"Alright." Fry says hesitantly. "I guess we'll take him."

Alucard grins his fanged grin then unravels into smoke, reappearing behind Fry.

"Back to us I guess." Steve says.

Leela turns to her new teammates.

"What do you boys think?"

"Well…um." Bruce says hesitantly. "It's hard to say. Elizabeth Bennet has a lot of potential."

"Seriously dude?" Steve asks. "We're already up against a vampire and Vultureman, we need more muscle. Or someone with like… a really brokenly overpowered superpower."

"I've got stupid overpowered powers!" Miko cries.

"Do you?" Leela asks.

"I mean uh… no I don't!" Miko backtracks quickly. "Still. Pick me!"

Steve thinks for a moment. "Uh…What about crayon kid?"

Leela shrugs.

"Works for me."

"Brilliant!" Penny Crayon cries.

"Come on!" Wines Miko.

Fry picks her next. Then Leela picks Entrapta.

Then continue back and forth, weeding through the cast. Fry and his growing squad picking up Shego, Katara, Guzma, Zelda and Jack. While Leela's team grows to include Tenpenny, Olivia, Elizabeth, Herlock, and Sam and Max.

Eventually the pool dwindles to two remaining contestants. The school bully Gary Smith and the teenaged loser Meg Griffin, neither seeming too enticing.

"You guys have a real shit sense of judgement I hope you realize?" Gary asks them.

"You're not exactly helping your cause I hope you realize?" Katara says.

"Alright. Can it over there. It's our turn to pick." Steve shouts.

"Team captain, what's you call?" Tenpenny asks.

"I don't know." Leela says. "On one hand, I sort of feel bad for the girl. I remember how rough it was when I was her age, growing up the only cyclops in my Orphanarium. On the other hand, no one likes a weakling. Plus the other kid looks like he could throw a punch."

"Amen to that." Tenpenny says.

"Alright counterpoint, I've gone to school with the jocks and losers and honestly man at the risk of my creditably the losers fight better." Steve argues

"Bullshit." Tenpenny says. Steve throws up his hands.

"I know it's not a popular take but I stand by it."

"Yeah… but still… let's go with Gary." Leela says finally.

Gary rolls his eyes.

"Glad some of you finally came to your senses."

He walks over to Leela's team. Meg quietly shuffles over to Fry's gang. Wallace pats her on the back.

"Guess you're the last pick."

"Try not to take it too hard." Katara urges. "Now you're with us we'll try and make it up to you."

Meg gives them an amazed look.

"Are you kidding? I thought I was gonna be the first one out. Instead, I've been here a whole day and no one's even started projectile vomiting at the sight of me yet!"

"Does that happen a lot?" Katara asks taken aback.

"Sometimes." Meg says. "Other times I drive people to suicide."

Her teammates exchange a look of concern.

Chris Mclean claps his hands together.

"Housemates you now have your teams for the season! I hope everyone likes who you're standing with because you are going to spending a lot of time with them dudes. Speaking of. It's officially time to leave this dump and move in to your team cabins."

"Or we could stay here?" Shego says.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Would I like to stay in the mega mansion? Surprisingly the answer is yes." Shego says sarcastically.

"I'm sure you'll learn to love your new home just as much." Chris chuckles. "Jeremy! Be a good assistant and open the door out of here?"

"Hey use your own assistant!" Conner shouts.

"Fine. Chef!"

Chef Hatchet grumbles then walks over and yanks open the door.

It's still a shock for the contestants, as they walk through the door that earlier had led them one place only to find it now leads somewhere else entirely. In this instance they find themselves standing in a clearing along a lakeshore, Surrounded by oaks and maples in their autumn hues. Three dingy cabins stand before then.

"It looks like a camp." Jack notes.

"Oh it's not just any camp contestants." Chris says gleefully. "Although Rodney's taken some liberties. You're standing in a detailed recreation of the originally Camp Wawanakwa!"

Peach looks impressed. The Contestants however simply stare at Chris blankly. He frowns.

"Seriously? None of you know anything about this show's history?"

"With no disrespect meant I wasn't aware any of such sort of tournaments existed until I received your invitation." Zelda admits.

"What she said." Tenpenny says.

About half the cast mummers in agreement. Conner chuckles.

"Looks like your idea bombed McLean."

"Doesn't matter dude, the fans will appreciate it." Chris insists. He turns back to his cast.

"For those not in the know… which I guess is everyone… the run down summer camp has been a fan favorite staple of Total Drama since season one. Even though this season has a more out there setting I figured what better way to harken back to this show's long history than to bring back our traditional crummy camp cabins for our contestants home between challenges?"

"This is where we'll be staying!?" Miko says appalled.

"They look… cozy." Katara notes optimistically.

"Low tech is more like it." Olivia says.

"I'd rather stay in the mansion." Guzma says frowning.

"Dude those things even have outlets!?" Miko cries stricken.

Entrapta cheerfully pulls out a gadget. "Oh! I can fix that!"

She lunges at the nearest cabin. Chef Hatchet holds her back.

"Entrapta! Love the energy. Maybe tone it down a little?" Chris asks. "Besides… that's not even your team's cabin. Your cabin will be the one on the right. Leela, Sam & Max, Gary, Steve, Tenpenny, Elizbeth, Bruce, Entrapta, Olivia, Herlock, and Penny, from here until the merge you guys are now officially The Seismic Supertasks!."

Penny, Entrapta, Steve and Herlock cheer.

"Ah that's great name it sure is!" Penny says. "Just one question? What's a supertask?"

"A philosophical mathematic exercise involving the completion of a countably infinite number of actions within a finite set of time." Olivia explains.

"Ah…" Penny says. "Lovely. Thank you." She thinks for a moment. "I still don't get it."

Chris turns to other new team.

Fry, Wallace, Vultureman, Katara, Alucard, Miko, Guzma, Shego, Meg, Zelda and Jack, your cabin is to the left. I officially dub you guys the Outlandish Ordinals!"

Katara, Miko, Meg and Fry cheer, as do Zelda, Wallace and Jack somewhat more modestly.

"Hey, what's an Ordinal?" Fry asks.

"An adjective relating to a type of numerical organization in set theory primarily used to extend a set past a countable infinity." Olivia says.

"Very good. Doctor Octavius." Rodney says beaming up at her.

"Why thank you."

"Hey Professor?" Miko says, butting in front of Olivia. "I get its tradition and all that but please! Please, please, please, please! Don't make us stay in the shacks."

"Ah, but you forget where you are miss Kubota." Rodney says smiling knowingly. "In my home you must never judge a book by it's cover."

Miko still seems vexed. Jack however blinks then stares at Rodney, as if struck by revelation.

"These cabins aren't the same inside as they are outside, are they?"

Rodney taps the side of his head. "Very good lad."

"Care to see what's inside?" Chris asks keenly.

He opens the door to the nearest cabin and intrigued the contestants file in. Immediately their curiosity turns to horror.

Jack was right, the quality isn't the same inside the cabins as it was outside, it's worse.

The barrack they've entered looks like it's spent fifty years being buffered by the sea. Everything is made of old splintered wood and rusted nails. The beds are old, worn, bare and damp spring mattresses on a rusty frame. There's no source of light in the room besides the cracks between the walls. Outside it seems a hurricane is ragging. The whole place creaks and moans and drips with water, soaking everything.

Miko begins to hyperventilate in horror. Katara pats her on the back reassuringly.

"I don't even know if I want to ask this but where the bathroom?" Leela asks.

"That would be through this door." Chris says. Patting a side door innocently. "Not to worry, it's modeled off the bathrooms often found in rural Chinese truck stops."

"The strange thing is I believe you thought that to be a reassuring statement." Herlock says.

"I mean isn't China supposed to be like developing right?" Miko asks, taking a shaky breath. "I mean like they got to have at least half way decent AAAAAAAAAAA!"

Chris opens the door and she screams, as do several of the contestants. Their bathroom is a filthy concrete box with a hole in the ground swarming with flies.

"If anyone's still trying to decide who's there favorite co-host, I just like everyone to know I gave people fresh linens and indoor pluming on my season." Conner says smugly.

…

Somepoint removed from the current time. Chris stands in the bathroom by his lonesome. Staring directly into a camera before.

"Also after they're tragic and unfair exclusion from Total Drama Endless, the patented bathroom confessionals will be returning to the series. Here Contestants will be allowed to air out there dirty laundry any time of the day."

He pauses.

"Although since the great lawsuit of 2018 I am legally obligated to mention that the cameras in the toilet shut off when the uh… faculties are in use."

…

Now it's Conner standing alone in the bathroom. He looks unimpressed.

"…Since all cameras on this show come curtesy of me and my divine television powers if I wanted to have confessionals in here I'd have to physically spy on my contestants every time then went to the john. Yeah. Thank you but no thank you. Scandalous as I may be at sometimes that's going too far even by my standards.

Also God help me even if they're on a reality TV show I think the poor contestants deserve some privacy once and a while. That's the main reason we didn't have confessional in Endless and why we won't be having them here either. Chris I'd say I'm sorry about that, but let's be real here, I'm not."

…

Back in the present the contestants seem forlorn. Chris cackles madly.

Shego seizes him by the collar and raises her fist.

"Okay. No. New plan. We murder this guy and live in the mansion."

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea." Guzma says darkly.

Half the other contestants seem just as vengeful. Chris merely chuckles, looking unperturbed.

"Nice plan dudes." He compliments. "But you're not taking into account three little things. One, would be Chef, two would be the Princess's little mushroom friends, and third, trying to murder me will make it really hard to earn House Points!"

"What?" Guzma asks flatly.

Chef Hatchet picks up both him and Shego and places them away from Chris. Their host dusts himself off then gestures over to the wall where there's a glowing tablet mounted on the doorway. Miko gasps.

"Technology!"

"That." Chris says. "Is your customisation deck, how it works is you stand outside and select through it's options to furnish your cabin."

"You mean to say we can improve this dreadful place?" Zelda asks hopefully. Chris beams.

"Correct Princess."

"I thought it might be nice if you had some say in the layout of your private residents." Rodney explains. "Every possible veritable or asset is available to you. Essentially in time you will be able to create your very own miniature Rodney House within the frame of a Wawanakwan cabin. Our compromise in marrying tradition and innovation!" He looks around and grimaces. "Although I must say Chris insisted, I make your starting home far more… inhospitable than I would have preferred.

Miko grabs the tablet and starts flipping through it hungrily, staring at all it's many opinions. The others all crowd around her, deeply invested.

"How to we get all this cool shit?" Steve asks.

"With points Harrington." Chris informs them. "The more you earn the better your cabin will be. Who knows? Maybe if you get enough of them you can make it just as nice as the mansion, maybe even better?"

Entrapta grabs hold of Chris with her long pigtails and shakes him.

"How to we earn points then?" She says desperately. "I want to build my own dream lab!"

"By completing challenges of course." Chris explains.

"Why don't we have any points for last challenge then?" Leela asks, annoyed.

"Because last challenge was your tutorial. Also it was lame. Seriously lame. Like almost as bad as something Conner would have come up with. You guys get points by doing my challenges, as in my own unfiltered ideas, which… fortunately enough will be every challenge from here on out."

He folds his arms behind his back in satisfaction.

"So. Choice is now yours, do you guys want some time to chillax in your sweet new cribs? Or do you want to cut to the chase and get to today's extra brutal challenge?"

"The challenge." Nearly everyone says. Chris chuckles.

"That's why I like to hear."

…

The cast is lead out of the and cabin back through the summer camp. There's another door waiting for them standing in the clearing. They walk through in a long hallway in what looks to be an industrial chicken farm, after which they reach another room it's circular and high ceiled with the walls and floor padded.

"This looks one of the ceils at Arkham Asylum." Bruce comments.

"You're acquainted with such institutions Mr Wayne?" Elizabeth inquired.

Bruce looks away.

"A friend of mine was committed to one recently."

The regency girl seems placated by the sincerity of the response. Evidently it wasn't what she was expecting.

"My condolences."

Chris walks in behind them.

"Alright Housemates. Can I get the Ordinals on one side of the room, and the Supertasks on the other."

The crowd of contestants' part in twain. As soon as they have an acrylic divider slides down from the ceiling, splitting the room evenly.

"Today's Challenge is gonna be a good one." Chris smirks. "…As it takes inspiration from both the Awake-a-ton and Phobia Factor. Two personal favorites of mine from season one. I can this challenge The Good, The Bad, and Ugly."

"I'm starting to regret not researching this show." Wallace admits.

Daisy and some of the toads bring out a small table and set it next to Chris. On it is eleven little smiling figures holding up a brick.

"You see Ordinals, Supertasks, your teams come from a long and exciting history of pre-merge Total Drama teams." Chris informs them. "In the fifty-one seasons of this show there's been over a hundred teams that have come and gone before you. From the Screaming Gophers and Killer Bass in Island all the way to the Fact Hunters, Shorty Squad and Flower Girls in Endless.

From their many misadventures some universal truths have asserted themselves. You see houseguests, even though it's destined to only have a one winner, Total Drama is a fundamentally social game. Where a lot of how well do you depends on how well the others can put up with you. Doubly so before the merge. Here as a part of a team you'll find, perhaps unsurprisingly that teamwork is the most important prize of all."

Shego snickers at that.

"You may laugh…" Chris scowls at her. "But having a strong team allows you Houseguest to accomplish things you couldn't handle on your own." He gestures to the display. "However! Should you be divided…"

He parts the figures so they're clumped at the edges of the brick.

"…Or just not on the same page…"

He rearranged the little figures so that they carrying the weight unevenly.

"…you'll start to lose houseguests pretty quick…"

He begins flicking figures away.

"…Which if it gets out of control…"

The brick crashes down on the remaining figures.

"Can be a game ender for everyone involved."

He chuckles. Then turns to Peach.

"Princess, I understand team dynamics were pretty strong in Endless. Got any advice for the newbies?"

Peach nods solemnly and looks to the contestants.

"There were times in our game when everything seemed lost, and we needed to depend on one another. Had we not all been such strong friends by the end I imagine things would have become most unpleasant."

"Nicely put." Chris agrees. He turns his attention back to his cast.

"This challenge will test a lot of you bring to the table as a teammate. Things like your personal endurance and dedication to the game. It may also make you hate everyone on the other team, which would totally make for good television."

Some of the toads come bustling in, holding two grey urns up. They hand them to Chris.

"In these urns are balls." He says, then pauses for a moment to allow Fry, Steve and Wallace to stop chuckling before he carries on. "Specifically Ping-pong balls. The rules of this game are simple, the goal is to stay in room as long as possible. Outlast the other team, and you win. However, at random intervals you will be asked to draw one of the balls from this urn. In them are written all sorts of things that once draw will be added to your half of the room, some good, most bad.

He holds up the second urn.

"After five rounds of that. We add these balls. The things written on them aren't just bad, they're downright ugly."

He cackles sinisterly.

"Be the team that survives the longest and you get to start making your room less terrible. Losers have to put up with the crappy room until next challenge, and send somebody home. So no pressure! Oh yeah, and one more thing, you draw for the other team. Not yours, thereby by proxy, making you responsible for all there suffering."

"Chris have you ever considered a career in supervillainy? Because between this and the cabins I think you have potential." Shego says, wavering between being impressed and being disgusted. Chris beams at her.

"Thanks but I'm happy where I am. Now. Everyone clear on the challenge?"

The constants nod somewhat grimly.

"Good!" Chris says.

…

The staff file out of the room and the contestants resign themselves to their fate. Chris's sadism seems to have struck a chord. All of them look ready to brave the challenge. No one wants to spend a night in their cabins.

Another set of jars is brought in for the Supertasks side (Chris had done his little demonstration on with the Ordinals.)

Chris's voice comes crackling over an intercom.

"One last thing I forget to mention Houseguests…"

A slot in the walls of their padded cell revealing a window into some sort of observation deck around the room.

"If anyone thinks they'd be more outside the challenge than in it they can sit over there and shout encouragements."

"Nice try McLean but no one's quitting that easy!" Guzma says.

"You sure?" Chris asks. "Because if you're not interested in helping your team, any and all losing contestants may freely enjoy the mansion one last time for the remaining duration of challenge. Any takers?"

The cast stay quiet though many of them look sorely tempted.

"..suit yourselves." Chris says indifferently. "Leela! You may now draw the first potential torture for the other team."

"Why does she get to go first?" Fry asks more so directing the question at his girlfriend. Leela however, couldn't hear him. The barrier between the teams is soundproof.

The Ordinals watch her like she's a silent movie star. She walks over the table against the divider where their teams urns are kept. She pauses, apparently listening to something Chris is instructing her on, they watch as she pulls a ball from the urn. She walks it over to a slot in the wall next to her team's escape door and places the ball inside.

"What'd she get? What'd she get?" Fry asks.

"Please let the first one not be terrible." Miko begs.

"Chris said there were some good options in there right?" Katara says hopefully.

The entire side of their cell flashes green. There's a sharp ding, like that of an elevator opening.

"Congratulations Ordinals!" Chris's voice booms. "Leela has rolled you a good role. Please enjoy calming music for the next hour!"

The Ordinals cheer in relief as relaxing spa music beings to play softly. On the other side of the barrier the Supertasks look on in confession.

"What's going on?" Steve asks. "Are they gonna be tortured?"

"That doesn't look like any torture I've ever subjected someone too." Sam observes.

"Dammit! I must have given them something nice!" Leela says, disappointedly.

"Why'd you ever go and pull a thick headed move like that?" Penny asks.

"I didn't try too." Leela insists.

"They're rolling for us!" Tenpenny shouts. Capturing his team's attentions.

Fry's just sent one of the ping-pong balls into the slot.

The Supertasks look up tense with anticipation.

Their side of the room flashes red a loud blaring noise resonates through the space.

"For some reason that doesn't seem like a good thing." Entrapta says.

The exit door opens suddenly. Chef Hatchet is standing there sinisterly.

"Good afternoon sir, how may we be of service?" Herlock asks.

"Please… I'm here to serve you." Chef grins. He pulls out a large metal tube that alarmingly resembles a bazooka.

"Soups on Supertasks!"

He cackles then begins to fire. High velocity piles of spaghetti and marinara sauce come rocketing out of the barrel and towards the contestants. The Supertasks flee in terror. Again and again Chef fires the strange weapon until he's out of ammo. By that point he's got off at least a dozen shots and seemed quite pleased with himself. The Supertasks, decidedly less so.

Tenpenny's doubled over and panting.

"What! In the Hell! Was that?"

"That!" Chef says proudly. "Was the triumphant return of the pasta gun! Another throwback to the classic seasons that I'm told you maggots have never seen."

He gives his work a look of appraisal. The padded room is a mess but most of the contestants were spared a direct hit. The exception being Max who took on right to the face.

"Hmm… Not bad. You even used real San Marzano tomatoes. Nice touch."

"Thank you for noticing." Chef says with false sincerity. He sneers at the others. "Next draws in T-minus thirty minutes."

"What!?" Leela cries. "Why is so drawn out!?"

"To keep you on your toes." Chef says cheerfully. "Until then enjoy your cell!"

He slams the door closed.

…

The Half hour only further cements the grounding disconnect between the teams. On one side of the room the Ordinals are having a fantastic time. As it turns out watching their competitors suffer while relaxing music plays has been thoroughly enjoyable, and a great boon to morale to all but the most empathetic of the team. The Supertasks on the other hand have significantly less fun. Spending an extended time in a room covered in wet food has proved to be exactly as unappetizing as it would seem. Though Penny's currently improved the situation with the vacuum she's drawn. She's managed to make most of the actual pasta disappear, but the dark red stains remain and the place still smells strongly of tomato paste and butter.

"I can't believe Fry would give us a first round that awful." Leela said slightly bitterly.

"You better give them something worse back." Tenpenny says. Leela gives him a look.

"I can't control which ball I pull out."

The intercom crackles to life and they hear Chris's voice again.

"Supertasks! It is now your turn again."

"About damn time." Leela says.

"Give them something good!" Entrapta shouts.

"She did that last time dumbass." Gary says annoyed.

"I mean good for us and bad for them." Entrapta clarifies.

Leela selects her choice. The Ordinals watch on with mild interest.

"What do you think she got?" Jack asks.

"The odds unfortunately are that we not lucky twice." Zelda admits.

"Doesn't matter." Guzma. "Our team's ready for anything."

"This team just formed like least than the hour ago." Shego says disinterestedly. "Wouldn't be making any bold statements on our invincibility just yet."

"Yes we can! Gusta's right." Fry says earnestly. Guzma gives him a look. Fry carries on without noticing. "You guys are great, because I picked you, and sometimes when people aren't making fun of me I like to think I'm great, or at least pretty good. You know most of them time…Point is! I don't care if we just meet, soon enough we already gonna be friends, and do a bunch of amazing stuff like jump motorcycles!"

The Ordinals began to cheer, though they quickly begin to groan when the lights flash red.

A quiet alarm sounds. Then it keeps sounding. As they sit then waiting for it to stop it simply doesn't.

"Is that our torture?" Katara asks.

"Pretty much." Chris says over the intercom. "Like it?"

The team mummers indifferently.

"Good." Chris says. "Because that'll be on the rest of the time you're in here."

"Pfft. We'll handle it." Miko insists.

"Alright! We beat are first bad one!" Fry cries.

He and most of his team high five. The supertask's looking on dismayed.

"Okay. I swear their light went red, what's with the celebrating?" Steve says.

"Why does nothing ever happen over there!?" Leela asks.

"Perhaps it's all been acoustic variables so far." Entrapta declares.

"Not a bad hypothesis." Olivia says.

"While you scientists are busy hypothesizing you might want to check out the other team." Tenpenny says.

They watch Fry select another task for them.

The light flashes red. Steve, Gary and Tenpenny all curse.

Strange unsettling music begins playing on there side of the room. The team looks around expectedly.

"That's it?" Max asks.

"Seems all were getting this time is someone's poor taste in music." Sam notes.

"How perfectly harrowing." Elizabeth says dryly.

"This is good." Leela says, rallying. "We can handle this easy."

"In that case I've got even better news…" Chris informs them.

…

"Hey, why does the other team get another go?" Shego asks no one in particular.

Zelda frowns. "It can't be. That's not how this went the last cycle."

"Well they're going again." Shego tells her.

"What! No fair!" Miko cries. "They better get us something good."

The lights flash red and everyone groans again.

Chris comes back over the intercom.

"Ordinals! Fantastic news guys! In accordance to your new punishment. Should you want to continue playing then any and food served to you in the challenge room must be floor. Even if the floor eventually ends up disgusting. In fact, especially if the floor ends up disgusting."

They hear him cackling at their expense.

"Vultureman demands to know why that is quote on quote good news!?" Vultureman squawks.

"Hey it's good news to be dudes." Chris laughs. "Bet you really the Supertasks for that one don't you? How'd you like to get back on them?"

…

A minute and a flash of red light later and the Supertasks are being pelted with foam darts being shot out from hidden slots the walls. The assault ends after a minute leaving them annoyed but none worse for wear, though the Ordinals look like they've enjoyed the show.

"Seriously!? Three in a row!?" Gary asks shortly.

"Admittedly again, that one wasn't so bad, but Gary's right. It's the principal of it." Leela says. She looks towards the clear divider. "Fry I see you over there! Stop laughing!"

Chris is back on the intercom.

"Want another chance to get him back?"

"Again?" Bruce asks mildly surprised. "How many in a row do we get?"

As it turns out four. Both teams roll twice more before the current lightning round ends. The Supertasks next attempt to harm the Ordinals ends giving them another lucky roll which comes in the form of Princess Peach entering the chamber and handing out hand baked cookies, much to the Supertasks lamentation, though of course the Ordinals are forced to eat their cookies of the ground. Afterward repay their foes mercy by introducing a tarantula to their side of the room. The Supertasks then introduce force the temperature up to uncomfortable levels onto the floor of the Ordinals side. This time however the Ordinals attempt to get revenge on them goes differently.

The light's flash green and Chris announces

"Good news Supertasks! And this time that's not a sick joke! You just won the greatest opinion available, the ability to remove one player of your choosing from the other team!"

"Well finally, some good fortune." Olivia laughs.

"So who we axing?" Max askes.

"This would be an excellent opportunity to remove our opponent's princess from play." Entrapta says.

"Nah, let's just eliminate the vampire again." Tenpenny argues.

"Why him?" Penny asks.

"Because he's their best player. You see how fast that Motherfucker moves."

"Honestly I don't rightly know if I've seen him move at all he's so fast."

"Yeah. And I don't see him being affected by this challenge." Tenpenny says. He gestures over his shoulder to the opposite side of the barrier, where Alcuard's standing by the wall, eerily rigid and lifeless.

"Good call." Steve says.

"Yeah but Vultureman's a powerful player too and Fry likes him more." Leela argues. "If we get rid of him, we hurt their morale, and we need that right now."

"That stupid pigeon will quit on his own once his ego's bruised enough." Tenpenny counters. "We need to target the vampire. That's the smart decision"

Leela folds her arms.

"If your decision making's so smart why aren't you captain? Oh that's right, you didn't win last challenge."

Tenpenny looks up at her sharply and something flashes however briefly in his eyes. The tranquil shallows of ease and control he's projected since yesterday are marred by a deep and furious expression. Then just as quickly as it's surfaced, the look passes and Tenpenny returns to his mellow demeaner.

"Alright." He says with believable indifference. "Eighty-six the birdman for all I care."

And so much to Fry's displeasure Vultureman is removed from the challenge.

When that's been implemented Chris returns, this time in the form of a large screen projected on the walls of the room.

"Contestants! You've officially survived five rounds. As you can see, things aren't exactly pleasant but they're about to get a whole lot worse…"

He pauses for a moment, Daisy's starting to curiously creep into the camera shoot behind him. They watch as Chef's hand reaches out and pulls her out of frame.

"Next round we introduce the ugly opinions to the draw and things will get real brutal, real fast. But before that, I'll give you another break."

"How long of a break?" Fry shouts up at him.

"You know, I could tell you, but I think the suspense of not knowing is more fun."

"Just because things are fun you doesn't mean their fun for us man!" Miko shouts.

"Don't care dude!" Chris laughs. "Enjoy your break!"

…

Time passes slowly.

It's subtle at first, bur growths stronger as it goes. The slow passage of the hours proving the true villain of this challenge.

The longer they spend in room the longer the minor annoyances introduced earlier become more and more cumbersome. On the Ordinals side the ringing alarm drones on boring into their heads. The heat and boredom having exhausted most of their energy. Two hours into their compatiton those who've the layers to shed have dispensed with them and everyone lays slouched against the walls of their cell aimlessly. The only two on their feet is Alucard who is still proving to be inert to everything, and Guzma who has his face pressed against the clear divider, starring down Gary Smith on the opposite side.

The supertasks have held up slightly better. Penny Crayon had been proving a boon to the team. She had drawn herself a pair of earmuffs for the music, a cage for the spider, and a cloth to clean the lingering pasta stains.

"This isn't so bad." Leela says. "So long as you guys keep following orders we can do this."

"Still think we should've nixed the vampire." Max muses.

"That would have been stupid. Which is why I'm the one that makes decisions around here."

"Tauranga I realize you've used to dealing with your boyfriend but you understand you've got some remarkably intelligent people on this team." Olivia laughed. "Couldn't hurt to trust us once in a while sweetie."

"We'll see." Leela says contemplatively.

The crackling of the intercom announces to them that Chris is back.

"Contestants!" He says forebodingly. "Welcome to the ugly rounds. Kiddie breaks are officially off now. You're all about to see how nasty this game can get."

"So bored…" Croaks Miko. "Don't care if it's torture. Just need something to happen."

"In that case I'll let the Supertasks go first!" Chris chuckles. "Leela please combine your urns, then choose what you're gonna give to the Ordinals."

Leela walks over to the little table. She spills the contents of one urn of ping-pong balls into a the other then grabs one from the top.

"Better be a good one."

She inserts it into the wall slot and it disappears.

There's a moment delay as the Ordinals look upward expectantly.

They can hear Chris chuckling softly.

"…Interesting choice…"

The lights flash deep red, a siren shrieks, echoing out ominously.

An clear gas sprays out of the walls and into the room. The team leaps up in alarm.

"What was that!?" Cries Zelda.

"Nothing!" Chris says quickly.

"No really, what was that? Itching powder?" Wallace chuckles.

"A Fast-acting aerosolized chemical with similar affects psilocybin." Chris says pleasantly.

Wallace stops smiling immediately.

"Oh…shit."

He looks around contemplatively then makes for the door.

"W-Hey! Wallace! Where you going?" Cries Fry.

"If this is how it's gonna go down I'll rather ride out what's coming in a pleasant environment, sorry kids."

"What did he do to us?!" Katara asks with growing concern.

"You'll be fine." Wallace says. "Just remember that before anyone gets too crazy. See you on the other side folks."

"But…"

"Katara when did you get so bright?" Shego asks.

Katara blinks then. Rubs her eyes. Pupils suddenly dilated.

Fry begins laughing. As does Miko. So enough they're howling together. Their caterwauling odd, and strange. There's panic behind their excitement. The odd symphony joined by Meg who's begin taking shallow, rapid breaths. Soon Zelda and Jack join her. Shego buries her face in her lap and groans.

"What did he do!?" Katara asks again.

"There has to be an explanation. A chemical reaction. Like licking a toad." Zelda squeaks in wavering voice.

"Oh my god he got us high." Meg croaks. "Guys I'm freaking out."

"You're fine!" Katara says.

"That alarms been going to whole time!" Fry wheezes. Miko laughs harder.

"I'm really freaking out!" Meg cries.

"Don't freak out!" Katara says.

"Are we going to die?" Jack said faintly.

Meg begins shrieking. Soon Zelda joins her.

"SHUT UP!" Shego screams.

On the other side of the divider the Supertasks watch on in horror.

"What did you do to them?" Bruce asks.

…

The staff have returned to Rodney's study, watching on silently as the Ordinals devolve into chaos.

"What did you do to them?" Daisy asks.

"There's high on hallucinogens." Conner says, half amused, half mortified.

"Is that dangerous?" Rosalina asks disapprovingly.

"Not at all." Chris insists. "In the right environment psilocybin can have an immensely positive and introspective effect on the user. Use it in the wrong environment, like say a Total Drama challenge… and you're in for a pretty anxiety inducing time."

…

"Meg stop panicking! We're here for you!" Katara insists. Her teammate now sobbing violently.

"I'm stuck in a place I don't understand with people I don't understand! I was picked last and everyone hates me…"

"It's okay! It's okay! We're your friends Meg. You're gonna get back to your family."

Meg sobs harder. Katara looks terrified.

"What's the matter?"

"My dad hates me!"

"Megan everything is quite alright. My father never approved… of me either." The Princess's voice catches. Despair registers in her face and she to quite suddenly has burst into tears.

"Seriously!" Shego shouts.

"He's gone!" Zelda weeps. "All of them! Everyone's gone!"

Suddenly Fry's crying as well. Then Katara herself begins to sob. Shego jams her hands over her ears.

"MAKE IT STOP!"

Miko laughing turns to shrieks and she goes flailing out of the cell.

…

"Told you they'd start dropping once we hit the ugly challenges!" Chris laughs. "Pay up Daisy!"

"Ah come on! It doesn't count of only one of them leaves!" Daisy shouts grumpily handing over several gold coins.

"No Alucard's gone too." Conner says.

"Dude, when'd he leave?" Chris asks. Squinting at the screen.

"Salutations."

They entire staff jumps. Alucard's materialized behind them.

"My human comrades have devolved into madness. So, I've decided I'm finished with the challenge and will be retiring to the mansion."

"Yeah. Cool. You do you Alucard." Conner says.

"Thank you."

The vampire disappears in a cloud of smoke.

Chris sighs and flips back on the intercom.

…

"Alright Ordinals…. Whenever you get the chance… your turn to role."

"Captain! Go!" Shego says.

Fry's unresponsive, crying in a pile with the three girls. Jack's rocking back in forth in the corner and Guzma hasn't moved from his stare off with Gary.

"SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!" Shego roars.

"You do it if it's so important!" Guzma shouts back at her.

Shego gets up vengefully and snatches a ball from the urn. She hurls it into the wall slot then jabs a finger at the divider.

"SUFFER!"

The villainess then turns and storms out of the cell. They can hear her venting as she goes.

The Supertasks wait in nervous acceptation.

The light flashes red on the supertasks side but not deep red and a pile of garbage lands in the middle of the room.

"I think that counts as getting lucky from now on." Bruce says.

"Supertasks, dudes. Back to you guys!" Comes the voice of Chris.

The Supertasks turn expectantly to their captain. Leela's standing in the centre of the room running her hands through her ponytail and watching the other team with her one eye. The opponents now largely having been dwindled down to her boyfriend and three teenage girls sobbing in a pile. It's not difficult for the savvier members of her team to find the root of her apprehension. Kicking the Ordinals while they're down has lost some of its initial appeal, and the idea that they to could be reduced to such a state at any time isn't enticing either.

"Well Captain? Are you going?" Olivia asks. "The other team's morale is tanked. Isn't that what you said you wanted?"

"Sure…" Leela says unconvincingly. "…Just give me a minute."

"Why don't I give you a hand?" Tenpenny says.

Somewhat surprisingly Leela doesn't object. The Police Officer causally strolls over to the urn and makes his selection.

The lights on the other side of the room flash red then dim considerably. The Ordinals can just barely be made out in the gloom, all of them thoroughly distressed.

"There? Was trusting a teammate so bad?" Tenpenny asks her.

Leela watches the chaos on amongst the Ordinals then all at once turns her full attention back to her team.

"You know what? You're right officer. I think we've been going about this wrong."

Tenpenny smirks and folds his arms. "Thank you."

"I need to give you guys more trust…" Leela continues. "Which is why I'll be encouraging you guys from the little observation deck outside. Away from the line of fire.

There's a second of silence from the Supertasks so deafening that it could stun a horse.

"Tell me you're not seriously bailing on us." Steve says slowly.

"What? No! Of course I'm not bailing." Leela insists. "I'm just thinking long term. You guy's don't want your captain out of commission like Fry do you? It's much better for the challenge if you have a mentally sound voice of encouragement urging you on from the sidelines… just like the Professor does back home… only without the mentally sound part in that case."

Penny scoffs.

"What a lot of rubbish."

"Now now young one. She's right. It's a brilliant plan!" Herlock.

"Of course the idiots siding with her." Gary says. Herlock turns to face him indignantly.

"Curve your tongue charlatan! It's obvious such a simple mind would not grasp the levity of this decision. As for myself with my genius intellect It's mercilessly easy to follow the marvellously long-term Machiavellian maneuvering of our dear captain!"

"Oh good." Entrapta says cheerfully. "Where do they lead?"

Herlock laughs pompously

"Tell you? And spoil the dramatic tension?"

"If we've all got our stupid out of our systems…" Tenpenny begins.

"Oh I've got plenty more stupidity to spare if we need it." Max interjects.

Tenpenny gives the rabbit a hard stare before continuing.

"If the captain wants to quit on us who are we to judge? Competition's already on the ropes. It ain't like we're gonna be here much longer."

Leela smiles.

"Thanks for understanding Frank. But don't think of this as quitting. Think of it as me putting my trust in the team to get a challenge done. With my supervision of course."

"Call it whatever you want." Tenpenny says. As she turns to leave he mutters in a low voice he wasn't much concerned with letting the others hear. "Course you damn well better be prepared for the consequences if we lose."

…

A few minutes after Leela leaves someone on the Ordinals (Possibly Guzma) staggers over to their teams urn to continue playing the game. Their role grants the Supertasks each a set of earmuffs to block out the strange music that's been playing in their cell for hours now. Tenpenny (Who's taken over rolling now that Leela's gone rewards the Ordinals for their gift with a constant downpour of rain. The Ordinals after another minute of delirium retaliate by sending them another Tarantula.

Theirs a fifteen minute break then the game continues.

Over the course of an hour later things had only gotten worse.

The Ordinals half of the cell, once so bright in its clinical cleanliness has decayed into a dark and filthy pit. One of the torments they had gone through had been a brief but devastating sandstorm that combined with the rain had plaster much of the walks and floor in a layer of silt and mud. The alarm that had been going the whole time was now occasionally silent, but it made up for it by screeching deafeningly the rest of the time. They had also at some point had a basket of poison ivy dumped on them which would explain why Fry was so itchy.

He's currently curled up in a ball at base of the table containing his teams urns. The worst of the psychedelics was over but they weren't out of his system yet. Most of his senses barely seemed to be functioning and what little were howling in agony. Still through the numbness and the drugs and the pain he was fleetingly conscious of something pulling at his attention from the corners of his awareness.

"Huh?" He asks everything and nothing at once.

"Dude I said are you gonna pick someone or what?" Shouts Chris from the intercom.

Fry groans. The last few rounds had been a blur of misery. Had he rolled for them or had someone else done so?

"I'm confused. Who do I have to pick?"

The intercom picked up Chris muttering in frustration.

"I told you the alarm was a bad idea." Comes the voice of Conner.

"ZIP IT!" Snaps Chris. "Fry! For the last time the rolled you a good roll. You get to kick one of them off."

"How's that work if we're separated with this barrier?"

"PICK SOMEBODY!"

"Alright! Alright!" Fry cries.

He looks across to the Supertasks side of the room and nearly vomits. The other team's cell was now being subjected to a migraine inducing flashing lights, and a biblical swarm of flies. Clearly they were having an effect as their only seemed to be six of Leela's team left.

He squints painfully.

"Uh… Younger, hotter, female Professor lady."
…

"That means you Olivia." Chris says. The scientist shrugs indifferently.

"Well sorry to leave everyone."

"Must you torture me by leaving me with these inferior minds?" Herlock Sholmes laments dramatically.

With Olivia being forced out the teams were nearly tied. Tenpenny, Steve, Gary, Penny and Detective were all that were left. Elizabeth had quit wordlessly soon after Leela had, Then they had lost Bruce Wayne and Sam (who by extension forced Max out) after the flies had been introduced. After the most recent torture, which involved being zapped with electricity, Entrapta (Who had been otherwise completely unaffected by the challenge) suddenly cried out something about forgetting a robot in the mansion and ran out of the room.

"How's it going in there?" Leela asked from the observation room.

Her teammates give her a sour look. Leela's 'Leading from the back' as she put it had so far been about as encouraging to morale as a poster of a kitten hanging from a branch in an otherwise entirely grey office cubicle.

"Hasn't changed since the last time you asked three minutes ago captain." Tenpenny remarks dryly. "Just Bullshit after more Bullshit."

"Have you tried thinking about it more positively?" Leela asks him.

The lights flashed a deep red. The Supertasks wince.

Something explodes in the air of their cell and a red particulate burst forth. Soon as the contestants breath it in they're on there hands and knees in agony.

"What's happening now?" Leela asks.

"Motherfuckers pepper sprayed us." Tenpenny cries, devolving into a hacking cough.

"Don't breathe it in!"

"That ain't exactly fucking helpful!"

"CRAYON GIRL WHERE YOU GOING!?" Steve shouts.

Penny's making a dash for the door, Hands over her eyes.

"Can't see!"

"COME BACK! WE NEED YOUR WHIMSICAL CRAYON POWERS!"

"Fuck this!" Gary says following the school girl out.

"Will you people stop quitting!?" Leela demands. "For one thing how dare you, for another you're letting the flies out!"

Tenpenny growls.

"The kids are right." He says. "Fuck this shit."

He staggers out as well. From across the barrier Fry watches this all unfold. Hope stirring within his abused psyche.

"Guys..." He says faintly. "We're doing it… the other teams quitting, we're doing it! We still have a chance!"

There's no response.

"Guys..." He croaks into the darkness of their cell.

"No guys." Comes Meg's voice. "Only girls left."

"Oh…" Fry says. He smiles and relaxes slightly. For a second he had thought the others had abandoned him.

With some amount of pain he gets to investigate the dark shapes around him. There seems to be three of them.

"I might have blacked out in misery for a while. What happened to the other guys? Jack and Goose?"

"Jack left when it started raining. Don't know when the other guy left. It's hard to see." Meg says.

The girl wanders over to Fry. She looks just as wet and disheveled but her face has settled into a look of placid indifference.

"What about you?" Fry asks.

Meg shrugs.

"Fine."

"Really?" Fry asks surprised.

"This isn't even the worst day I've had this month." Meg says.

They walk towards another shape and find Katara siting cross legged on a sandbank using her powers to make the water in a dirty puddle dance around. A distant look in her eye.

Meg prods her on the back. Katara gasps and bends her puddle backwards at the girl. Meg squeals as the water whips her face and staggers backward. Katara gets up alarmed.

"I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine, I probably deserve it!" Meg insists.

"No you don't. Don't say that."

"What was your name again?" Fry asks.

"Katara."

"Are you alright?"

"I think I'm getting there." She says shakily.

Fry grins at her. "Great. Say you're not able to do something about the rain are you?"

Katara's eyes grow wide then she buries her face in her hands and moans in despair.

"Of course I can. I'm so so sorry guys I should have realized sooner."

"It's cool. You were high." Meg says.

Katara spreads her arms and performs several quick flowing gestures with her body. If Fry and Meg were more well versed in Eastern martial arts they might of have been reminded of Tai Chi, but they weren't so they said nothing.

The amble rain water in the room obeys her movements. With a gesture she has it all suspended in mid air, with another it's all been flung up the ceiling, where it freezes in place. They hear the alarm go off again, it's significantly quieter now that whatever speakers it was coming from are clogged with ice.

"Hey alright." Fry says approvingly. He scratched himself. "Now if only weren't so damn itchy things would be pretty alright."

Katara smiles modestly. "I might be able to fix that too."

"Really?" Meg says.

Katara looks past them at the other figure still present. Princess Zelda is kneeling in the corner, facing away from them. They hear her voice faintly, muttering prayers to a Goddess none of them are familiar with.

"Princess why don't you join us?" Katara offers.

They see faintly in the darkness Zelda's head turn.

"Very well." She says softly.

Katara has the others all sit apart from each other.

"Try and keep still." She says gently. "This might feel weird."

She pulls the water out of them, their hair, their clothes, their skin leaving all four of them dry as a bone. She kneads the resulting strain of water in the air.

"Where does it itch the most?" She asks. All three of them extend their hands. Katara draws in a breath. The water begins to glow a light blue. Under the guidance of a sweeping motion of Katara's arm it dives down to encompass their hands.

She lets the water fall back to the ground. The others stare at their hands in amazement. Their rashes have vanished.

"That was incredible." Zelda breathes

"It's nothing." Katara says.

The Princess shakes her head.

"You are extraordinarily gifted in natural magical abilities. Effortless healing magic like so its an immensely impressive skill."

"Any master waterbender can do it." Katara insists.

"Everyone has such power in your world?" Zelda asks looking at Katara in wonder.

"No. Only in the Water Tribes. There's other nations where people have mastered the other elements, Earth, Fire and Air."

"But a lot they're many waterbenders in the South Pole?"

"Well… actually I'm the only one."

"How come?" Meg asks innocently. Katara suddenly looks quite somber.

"Once long ago the four nations of the world, The Water Tribes, The Earth Kingdom, the Fire Nation and the Air Nomads all lived in peace."

As she explains she crafts little water figures with her waterbending.

"The world's balance was protected by the Avatar, master of all four elements and bridge between our world and the spirit world. Then a hundred years ago The Fire Nation declared war on the elements. The Avatar's reincarnated in a great cycle between the four nations. At the start of the war he was an Air Nomad so the Fire Lord had them all whipped out. Then they invaded the Earth Kingdom and started raiding the Water Tribes. A hundred years went by and began weeding us out… slowly driving us to extinction. My Mother was one of the last true masters in our village." She swallows. "One day when I was a little girl they found our village and mom…"

Katara trails off. The tiny figures she's crafted fall apart.

Fry rests a hand on her knee.

"I'm sorry." He says softly.

A brief moment of silence passes before Zelda asks.

"What became of the Avatar?"

"Didn't he die?" Meg says.

"That would not matter." Zelda insists. "Ancient cycles of reincarnation can not be broken easily. Even by the destruction of a people."

"Actually the Avatar wasn't killed." Katara says. "He survived frozen beneath the South Pole for a hundred years. Me and my brother Sokka, discovered him last summer. Together we managed to defeat the Fire Lord and restore balance to the four nations."

Fry chuckles.

"Funny…"

"Erm… is it?" Katara asks. Fry places his hand on his chest.

"I was frozen and woke up in the future too. Only for a thousand years."

"That's right. I think I remember you saying that yesterday." Katara says. She laughs. "You should mean Aang sometime."

"Also I have a robot buddy named Bender."

"What does he bend?"

"Anything. But girders mostly."

Katara's expression brightens.

"He's a metal bender?"

"I guess you could call him that."

"Neat."

Meg sighed.

"It must be nice to have friends."

"We're your friends Meg." Katara says.

Meg shakes her head. "Dad says no one's ever going to actually like me. I'm too staggeringly ugly."

Fry scoffs. "Who cares. My dad used to say crazy stuff like that all the time. Said I was growing up too weak to stand a chance when the Commies invaded. And my older brother Yancy… God he was the worst. Used to pick on me all the time… and all mom cared about was football."

He chuckles then grows quiet.

"…I wish a could give them all one last hug goodbye…but they died thousands of years ago."

This time It's Katara that places her hand on his leg.

"I'm so sorry."

Fry smiles as it.

"It's not all bad. Being a space delivery boy's pretty great even with Zoidberg there. I meet my best friend Bender. Oh and we saved our world a couple times. That's alright."

He smiles dreamily.

"Plus I met the girl of my dreams."

"Is it Leela?" Meg asks.

Fry looks at her inquiringly.

"Can you keep a secret?"

She nods. Fry leans over and whispers in her ear.

"Yes."

Meg looks entirely surprised by this reviolation.

"What about your life Zelda?" Katara asks. "You haven't said anything about it."

She turns to her friend. The Princess has said precious little. In fact currently there's a very strange and very withdrawn look on her face.

"Zelda?"

"I prefer not to speak of it." She says quietly.

"Everyone else is talking about their lives." Fry says.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Zelda snaps.

The other three go quiet. The Princess looks away embarrassed.

"Then we won't force you to." Katara says.

"Thank you." Zelda says, returning to her usual quiet voice. "You are all very understanding."

"Thanks" Katara says. She looks around at all of them. "Maybe it's the just the aftereffects of those drugs but I feel such a strong bond between you guys. I'm really looking forward to becoming friends."

…

Another two hour break stretches onward, Not that the Ordinals minded. The last four of them still in the challenge used most of the time to bond with one another. The last two Supertasks on the other hand seemed to be having a notably less fun.

"I'll be honest with you man, I might be close to tapping." Steve admits tiredly turning to his only companion left in the cell, Sherlock Holmes.

The detective merely nods indifferently. Ostensibly unperturbed by anything they had been subjected to thus far. Though admittedly to his fellow competitors judging Herlocks inter machinations reliably was fast proving itself to be a fool's errand.

"Steve I forbid you from quitting!" Leela says. "Fry still has four team members left. We need you in there."

"I mean just throwing it out there, if it was so important to have people in here why did you leave huh?" He retorts.

"I made a tactical decision for this team." Leela says stubbornly. "It's none of your business to criticize the captain's decision making."

"Leave if your heart so desire it." Herlock says suddenly to Steve, ignoring Leela. "In fact I encourage it, you're presences is dulling my concentration."

"Detective you can't seriously think you can win this on your own." Leela says disapprovingly.

"Can and shall!" Herlock declares.

Just then Chris comes back on the intercom and they resume rolling. The urns have by now been moved outside the cells to the observation rooms. Leela selects a ping pong ball and sends it off.

It takes a few minutes for anything to happen to the Ordinals. Then Chef appears at the door of their cell.

"Are you gonna hurl pasta at us too?" Meg asks.

"I'd enjoy that. But no unfortunately." Chef says. He holds up four pairs of garments. "Say hello to your new torture. Straitjackets."

"Not good." Katara says.

"What's the matter?" Fry asks.

"It's gonna be pretty hard for me to bend if I can't use my arms."

"Which would mean no more healing." Zelda says.

Katara nods and looks around the room. "And without my bending that ice won't last in this heat."

"Yup you'll be pretty much useless." Chef agrees pleasantly. "Now up off your butts, I got to put these on you."

"Wait." Fry says. "Why don't you girls go back to the mansion for a couple hours? I'll finish the challenge."

"Fry no. We're not abandoning you." Katara says.

"Ladies as your captain, I order you, leave this to me!" Fry declares pompously.

"No!" Katara says.

"Come on please!" Fry says dropping the formalities. "You guys have helped a lot but I can do this I know I can."

"Our opponents are quite weaker than we are." Zelda notes. "He may have a chance to best them on his own."

Katara looks torn.

"Are you a hundred percent sure about this?"

"Probably." Fry says. "Don't worry about me. "

The three girls hesitate for moment before they make for the door. As they door Meg turns around.

"You're a great captain Fry."

Fry beams at her.

…

Just as Katara's predicted, not long after the girls leave the ice melts away and the rain begins again on the Ordinals side. Fortuitously around the same time they draw the same torture for Supertasks and so to does a deluge begin on that side of the divider.

This finally proves to much for Steve Harrington and with his hands held up in defeat he walks out of the challenge.

The two final competitors, Fry and Herlock reposition themselves so that they're sitting cross legged on either side of the barrier. Eyes boring into one another, utterly ambivalent to the torrents of rain above them.

Of the two It's Herlock who's morale seems the most stable. He smiles contemplatively across at his opponent.

"And so there were two… The Greatest mind in the competition and the captain of his opposition. Somehow I knew of course things would lead to this."

…

"…What?" Fry asks. For the barrier between them was still soundproof, just as it had been the entire time.

…

"Two men brought forth to face one another from the extremities of intellect. "Continues Herlock. "One a genius in all fields relevant to him and his profession, his enemy staggering imbecilic. I am exceptional but your sir could be any of the countless dockhands or piety wage makers that inhabit the most desuetude parts of London, or any town of settlement on the Earth."

…

"…WHAT!?" Fry cries deafly.

…

"…And yet extraordinary circumstances have brought us together, Both us men removed from space and time, the wrapping of both that lead to this moment occurring curious even to my brilliant mind. Here in this most vexing place emissaries from countless places and times all churn and froth with their strange intrigues like the raises and fall of the tides.

But no matter sir! No matter what so ever! For I have yet to be bested on this our any other world! Those fool enough to engage in mind games against the great Herlock Sholmes come without exception come to regret their decision. And you sir shan't the first to prove that idiom false. No indeed!

Already not your body weakens in the face of your superior foe. Oh you'd never dare admit to it no, but your constitution betrays you. I can see it in the minutiae of your expression, in the faintest creasing of your muscles as they strain themselves." He laughs. "I most un-envy your position my poor fellow. Even within the malaise of your ignorance you must know you gamble on a fool's errand."

…

"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU!" Fry shouts.

…

They go on like that without much changing.

Seven hours later finds both of them in same positions.

By now a crowd of curious contestants have gathered in the observation rooms. Gawking at the remarkable endurance of the two men.

"How's he still doing it?" Penny asks incredulously.

"I believe the detective mentioned having exceptional constitution." Elizabeth notes.

"I though he was just crazy." Gary says.

"Both are not by necessity mutually exclusive." Elizabeth says.

Elsewhere in the room. Bruce Wayne glances over at Leela. Their team captain looking strangely nervous.

"Everything alright?"

"Who me?" She asks. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

He noticed she wasn't looking at Herlock, but past him at the other side of the divider.

"Worried your little boyfriend's going to let himself die of exposure trying to prove a point?" Olivia asks.

"Of course not!" Leela says. "Fry's not that stupid."

She then reflects on the statement, then groans.

In the Ordinals observation room spirits are higher. Contrary to their captain's advice Zelda, Katara and Meg have stated firmly by the sidelines. A crowd of several others have gathered as well. Every member of the team in fact save Vultureman and Shego.

"How you doing captain?" Wallace asks.

"Wet, tired and my nose itches again." Fry reports without gusto.

"You can do this!" Katara insists.

"Yeah man! Win us a better room! You got this!" Miko cries. "Fry! Fry! Fry!"

The others join in the chant. Fry smiles feebly.

Across from him Herlock's eyes narrow.

"Ms Tauranga I require your ear!" He proclaims suddenly.

"You better not be quitting!" Leela says.

"Answer me this do what lengths does your relationship extend with my opponent?"

Leela looks very taken aback.

"That's none of your business."

"I see. Tell me then for how long you've been in each others company?"

"Over ten years."

"…and the man is obsessed with you would you say? Would do anything for your favour?"

"It can be a little annoying at times but yes."

"Is that feeling that level of endearment mutual?"

"No! I mean… That's um…"

Herlock sighs then rises to his feet.

"Damnation. Very well then. Stop the competition, for reasons outside of my control we have been bested."

"WHAT!?" Cries Leela.

"You heard the man!" Chris shouts. Having materialized behind her. "Ordinals win immunity!"

The barrier disappears. Fry looks confused.

"What's happening!? Did I win!?"

He doesn't have much chance to get anything else in. Most of his team has just rushed back into the cell and have tackled him into a group embrace, all of them laughing and cheering in spit on the dirt and rain.

The Supertasks by very sharp contrast look immensely sour.

"Man I really want to have to go back to that shit cabin." Steve sighs.

"What made you do it?" Sam asks Herlock.

"Yeah. What happened to the Machiavellian machinations you were all hot and bothered about earlier?" Max says. "You screw up and make a bad call or something?"

"Or course not my dear Lagomorph."

The detective says ringing out his soaked hunter's cap. "The writing was on the wall my esteemed canine. A lack of sufficient contexts made me overestimate our good captains' willpower. Truth was it was already over before she left, Caesar had already crossed the Rubicon so to speak and all that was left to do was mourn the Republic."

"How so?" Bruce asks.

"My enemy was a fool and adores our captain. However are captain too is deeply infatuated with the man and Love as they say my comrade makes fool's of us all.

He would have stayed out their perhaps indefinably but her resolve to see him in harm's way was far weaker. It was only a matter of time before our own captain would have ordered my withdrawal. A highly disagreeable scenario. The only play of action remaining to me to preserve my dignity was to forfeit myself."

He smiles ruefully.

"It seems the reality of this place was out of sorts with my deduction. Beginners luck! I'll be keeping a closer eye on you all from now on so that it may never happen again."

"So now you think you're allowed to be a creep as well?" Leela asks.

Her team member's stare at her.

"What?" She asks defensively. "You heard the him. He admits it's his fault we lost."

"Actually, I think what he was trying to get across was that it was your fault." Entrapta says helplessly.

"Is not!" Leela cries.

"Well it's somebodies." Chris says cheerfully. "Because I hate to break it to you guys, but you totally lost, which means you'll be sleeping in your cabin tonight without any improvements."

"We got that part, thanks man." Steve says.

"There is a bright side though." Chris says unhelpfully. "One of you won't be around long enough to enjoy your cabin." He laughs. "Supertasks I'll see you tonight."

He walks away leaving a palpable tension in the air.

"Great. Why'd you have to leave us captain?" Penny asks.

"You're the one with the crayon, why'd you leave." Leela counters.

The team seems to be on the verge of an argument. Tenpenny interjects.

"Alright now. Settle your asses down. It's abundantly clear that some people fucked us over today. Someone who said one thing then went back on it. However, I'm sure if they own up to their shit and apologize or some bullshit they might be given a second chance."

"Thank you Tenpenny." Leela says. "Herlock you heard the man."

The others give her a dark look.

…

The warm cozy sitting room Eliminations are held in feels all the more spacious now that they're half the people in it as they was yesterday.

The Supertasks sit in their arm chairs by the fire, waiting.

Chris Mclean enters the room with the other staff. Theirs a predator look in his dark eyes as he sets his sight on the contestants.

"Supertasks…" He begins.

"You dudes have the dubious honour of first team elimination ceremony. Unlike yesterday no one among you is immunity. The results were very interesting I must say."

"How so?" Entrapta asks.

Chris grins smugly.

"I could elaborate, but I'd much rather show you…"

Peach appears with a tray of cookies, she hands them to Chris.

"When I call your name and throw you a cookie it means your safe. The houseguest that does not receive a cookie must leave the Rodney House immediately, and not come back.

The following people are safe."

He begins to hand out baked goods.

"Penny…

Tenpenny…

Sam & Max…

Olivia…

Entrapta…

Elizabeth…

Bruce…

Steve…

Gary…"

Each of them receives their treat.

Chris casts his gaze on the two contestants yet to receive anything.

"So. The two people with the most votes are the person that lasted the longest in the day's challenge, and the Team Captain. Like I said, very interesting.

Herlock! You're here because you decided to up and quit abruptly after like eleven hours. Thereby wasting everyone's time. Leela! You're here because according to Herlock, you were the one that made the team destine to lose. Mostly by not being a great captain."

Leela rolls her singular eye.

Chris raises a finger dramatically.

"Person going home is…

…

…

…

…

…

"Leela!"

"NO!" Leela cries. "That can't be right!" She turns to her team dejectedly. "I was really that bad?"

"It hurts but it's the truth." Max says matter of factly.

Leela gapes at them in horror.

"I can't believe it… Someone must have rigged the vote… I… I refuse to leave!"

"Princess I think we need you subjects again." Chris says pleasantly.

"Very well." Peach says.

She whistles. Two dozen toads emerge. The sweep Leela off her feet and begin carrying her towards the EXIT door.

"Wait!" She says desperately. "Can't I say goodbye to Fry."

"Let me think about it…" Chris says.

The toads hoist Leela up and toss her out the door. Chris shrugs.

"…Oh well. Too late."

Above them the light on Leela's portrait goes dark. Chris chuckles stratified then turned to the audience.

"And that…"

…

Back in Rodney's study. Conner watches the scene unfold on the display before him. He presses mute and turns to the audience.

"…And that is where we leave off for today." He chuckles. "Also yes, I'm still stealing the outros and will continue doing so untilled I'm physically stopped.

However while our cozy time together here is still free of McLean's influence he's won himself an tactical win today on the battle to control the challenges. Though admittedly I and everyone else on the staff are more willing to entertain his ideas when they don't involve killer sea life. As far as Chris standards go today was relatively sane. If things keep up this way maybe we won't have a problem. However knowing him I doubt it.

Anyway join us again next time to find out what Me, that old bastard Mclean, his two new virgin teams and the rest of us get up to, right here on Total Drama Homespun!"

---

And that's a wrap on episode two! Just as quickly as the teams have been established one of them's already down a captain. I love Leela as a character but like the rest of the Futurama cast she can make some very bad decisions from time to time. Ultimately it cut her game short, which is on her for picking the more crafty contestants for her team. Already the Supertasks and The Ordinals are on very different paths. Next time on Homespun they'll diverge even further, as the Supertasks try and govern themselves without a captain and Fry deals with the lose of his beloved.

A very happy 2023 to you all. 2022 was a important one if a little slow for me. The main plot of Endless wrapped up and I got the Epilogue and Homespun running which meant that I slowed down in posting around the end of the year. However that that both are properly established 2023 looks to be busier. Except more chapters this as the Endless wraps for real this time and Homespun really gets rolling.

Lastly to everyone that didn't have as great a 2022, be due to lost or illness or whatever else (My site statistics still tells me that I'm getting views from Ukraine which if that's legit and you guys are still out there reading... all the more power to you. May no one ever take away your freedom to waste time reading cringy fanfictions.) I know I'm just another generic fanfic writer who's words really don't matter in the grand span of things but I sincerely wish all of you guys a better and brighter future this year. Hardship no matter how cruel rarely lasts a lifetime.

So yeah. Next episode shouldn't take as long, hopefully within the mouth. Until then Nobert out.