"Looks like the Weasleys wrote you," Hermione said gesturing upwards towards the swirling flock of owls.
"Probably Ron," Lily said, taking another bite of toast. "I keep telling him I'll give him the gold when we get to Hogwarts, but the man's just desperate for a new broom."
"What?"
"He's nervous about his current one, which is rubbish, really. Nimbus 2000 is still a fine broom, and better than half of what we're flying. Don't know how Arcturus expects us to win any games."
"What are you sending him gold for?" Hermione asked. The Weasleys' great owl finally landed in front of Lily, and she took the envelope from his leg.
"None of your business," Lily said, keeping her emotions cool, even as the images flashed into her mind. "Here, it's for you."
"Me?" Hermione said, blinking at the proffered letter.
"What did I just say?"
"Why me?" Hermione asked, finally taking the thing and cracking the seal.
"What am I, a seer? What's it about?"
Hermione didn't answer the question. She turned pale, her eyes quickly scanning back and forth across the paper, before standing abruptly.
"I need to go," she said, running off without elaborating any further.
"Huh," Lily said, taking another bite of toast.
Lily didn't see Hermione at all during their Transfiguration class, which was very unusual and left her feeling anxious. That anxiousness earned her extra homework when she failed on the sequence of transformations they were supposed to be transforming: dog, cat, rat, bat, owl, fowl, towel. She just kept getting stuck on the transition from rat to bat; wings were very hard for her.
She did show up for History of Magic, still looking pale and on the verge of tears, but Lily didn't get the chance to say anything to her before they were running towards Dueling. Once they were there, she got distracted by something else entirely.
"Quit it, Potter, you're embarrassing me," Clara whispered from the side. Lily ignored her and continued her stretches. She liked to feel loose and limber before moving.
"What's the big scoreboard for?" Lily asked, pointing as she leaned heavily to the left, one hand going down to touch her toes.
Clara let out a little sigh and continued drumming her fingers on the floor. Henri rubbed at his chin and then finally spoke for her (albeit in French).
"That's where they keep track of the points," Henri said. "Whoever wins the most duels at the end of the year gets a surprise."
"What do you think it is?" Lily asked, nudging the girl at her side.
"What?" Hermione asked distantly, her eyes finally focusing in on the girl next to her.
"Are you alright?" Lily asked, leaning closer in. "You've been quiet all day."
"I'm fine," Hermione asked, rubbing at her eyes and plastering a smile on her face that looked far too fake. "What were you asking?"
"What do you think the prize is?" Lily asked, hoping a little pep in her voice would get Hermione feeling better.
Henri opened his mouth to speak again, but Lily cut him off, leaning backwards and planting her hands on the ground.
"Don't tell me!" she said, grunting from the effort. "I want it to be a surprise when I win."
"It's just a stupid-"
"I said don't!" Lily snapped at Clara. The girl rolled her eyes and then leaned against the wall, pointedly not staring at Lily as she continued her routine.
"You are very flexible," Henri said very slowly and with an even thicker accent than Fleur (Lily had no idea what region it came from).
"Knock it off, Potter," Clara said. Lily gave her a look, but Clara nudged her head towards the rest of the room, and Lily finally noticed just how many looks she was getting (especially from the male half).
"Let them stare," Lily said, actually feeling a bit flattered by the attention. "Is there a limit to how many duels we can do in one class?"
"No," Henri said, still watching her as she switched to a different stretch. "Well, yes, but nobody ever reaches it. You can duel everybody once, but only once, per class session, and you're required to do at least two."
"Just lose to me and win against Henri," Clara said. "Then I'll do the same, and so will he, and we'll each be at one win and one loss, and then we can just stop."
"Why would I stop?" Lily asked, now settling for hopping in place to burn off some quick energy. Professor Baudin was still making his rounds, answering questions before they were allowed to split off. There were ten platforms in the Dueling Chamber. The class of fifty would need to move quickly if they were going to each have enough time to get in two duels each.
And Lily wanted far more than that. She wanted to win.
"What's the point in doing more?" Clara countered. "We have enough to be getting on with as it is. Everybody only takes Dueling because it's an easy class."
"The boys all seem excited," Lily said, gesturing over to them.
"Of course, they are," Clara said, her tone snippy. "Bunch of showoffs, the lot of them. Too stupid to realize it's all a waste of time."
"What does zat mean?" Henri asked. "'Showoff?' What ees zat?"
"Means they're a bunch of knobs," Clara said.
"You're just mad because you were in last place last year," Henri said with a laugh.
"Like you did much better," Clara said, smacking him on the arm. "Not my fault they took it all too seriously. How is anybody supposed to beat them, anyway, when Professor Baudin always gives the boys extra attention?"
"You'll see," Lily said confidently. She was watching the man walk towards the middle of the room, climbing the judge's platform at the center.
"Like you'll be able to beat any of them," she heard Clara grumble.
"Alright, everybody," Professor Baudin called out. "First rounders, pick a stage. If nobody volunteers to duel you, I'll find one for you. I want clean matches from all of you. No fooling around. You all know the rules by now."
Lily didn't hesitate. She reached the stages faster than anybody else, jumping straight from the bottom step to the top. The first person to climb up and meet her was a boy, just slightly shorter than her, his friends cheering him on. Lily approached first, offering him a friendly handshake (a bit inappropriate, considering the formal setting, but she was too excited). The boy took it, his hands slightly sweaty.
"I'll go easy on you," he said quietly.
"You won't need to," Lily said with a wink, bowing immediately after they let go.
She turned quickly, took ten quick strides, and then turned and waited for her opponent. She kept her pose relaxed and comfortable, even though energy was surging through her veins, making her ready to act at a moment's notice. The boy took up his own stance much later, seeming surprised that Lily was waiting for him so soon.
From behind, standing at the door, she saw Maxime watching her with an expectant look on her face.
"Right," Lily whispered to herself. "Time to show what you're worth."
The beginning of a duel was supposed to be a little test, a little back-and-forth as both sides figured out the limitations of their opponent. You wanted to win quickly, sure, but you still wanted to give the audience a show. The boy moved first, sending a quick expelliarmus her way. By all means, Lily should have countered with a shield charm and then a simple attack of her own.
She never was one for following rules.
She moved quickly, raising her wand before the boy even started speaking. Just as the flash appeared at the tip of his wand, she flicked upwards, very slightly and very subtly.
Reddimitto, she thought, not quite up to Fleur's demanding standards as of yet.
That was how she won her first match of the school year, in one, single wand movement. The boy left the stage angry and embarrassed, his mates laughing at them, but Lily just smiled and invited the next one up. She beat him the same way she beat his friend; one, singular flick upwards. The next one at least tried something different. Lily just moved out of the way and then fired off two quick stunners, the second one catching him in the leg. In a few minutes, she'd beaten all five of them, and only Henri was laughing at that point.
He went next, letting out a whoop when Lily disarmed him after letting him get off a few spells. Clara came up after him, whispering softly to her when they bowed.
"Let me win," she said.
"Not a chance," Lily said with a scoff.
Clara was also beaten in one move, and she glowered and moped for the rest of the class period, glaring at Lily all the while as she continued her work. By that point, she attracted the attention of the actually good duelists in the class. The first match she won, albeit after a couple minutes of back and forth. Her silent spells were all well and good, but she had a limited repertoire, and she could only do so much with Maxime watching her. She took a break after that one, so she could get a drink, and so other students could use her stage, and then continued with the next one.
By the end of class, she racked up thirteen wins and two losses, her last two duels only going so poorly because the other students seemed to finally catch on to the pool of spells she was using. She hoped to get some approval from Maxime, to get a little bit of pressure off her back, but when she looked over hopefully, she found her conversing with an extremely irate Hermione. The two of them left the room together, and she tried to get over the nerves she was now feeling with another duel.
"How'd you do?" Lily asked as they left the classroom. She was smiling and almost feeling great about herself, her hair still slick with sweat. A few students clapped her on the back as they passed; despite the losses, she was in a solid first place.
"Two and two," Henri said, sounding even more tired than Lily did, despite the fewer matches. "Don't know how you can move like that, Lily, I'm exhausted."
"Didn't have to show off so much," she heard Clara grumble from behind.
"You're just mad because you lost every match," Henri said with a laugh.
Clara scoffed. "If I wanted to win, I could have. I just don't see the point in it."
"I'll let you win, next time," Henri said, nudging her with his elbow.
Hermione was absent again during supper, and Lily was really missing her companion while sitting with Clara and Henri. She was there, but with all the attention the pair of them paid her, she might as well not have been. When she stood to leave for her meeting with Fleur, she was fairly certain neither of them even noticed her go.
The usual classroom was empty, aside from Lily's tree still sprouting from the center. Lily sat against it as she waited, journal in hand so she could review the rules.
12/10/1994
The Do's and Don'ts of MetamorphisingMetamorphing Shifting:
Hair and hair colour can change however I want them to. Length, texture, curliness, straightness, whatever, it doesn't matter. I can even force it into a braid, but that feels like cheating.
The nose can always be changed back by flicking it, even if I don't want it to. Hermione suggested using illusions to disguise it instead. Note: need to learn how to cast illusions. I have a few ideas.
I can change my height, just not by much. I can only manage seven inches downwards, can't go up at all. Hermione always notices if I change by even a centimetre, but I went a full four inches before anybody else did.
Despite changing height, I absolutely can not try to change my bad knee. Just trying to do it made me pass out, it hurt so bad. Hermione had to carry me to the infirmary, it hurt so bad. That was mortifying. Never trying that one again.
My hair changes with my emotions, if I'm feeling something particularly strong. I guess nobody ever brought it up before because it's supposed to go red when I'm mad. Hermione keeps teasing me when it goes yellow while we practice, but it's not my fault. The more I get used to it, the less control I seem to have. Have to use my Occlumency more to keep myself calm if I don't want anybody noticing.
Can't change what my voice sounds like. Don't know why, but Hermione is confident she'll figure it out.
I don't need make-up, apparently? I can just make my skin, lips, and nails look how I want just by thinking about it. I think that should make it much easier. Don't have to spend the time, don't have to worry about it running if I get sweaty. Haven't quite gotten it correct yet, though. Keeps looking like I applied way too much. Need to practice more. For now, I'll stick to the cosmetics Lavender bought me.
No more acne! Only perfect skin from here on out! Which is great, because I had a really painful one that kept rubbing up against my bra the other day.
Clothes can't shift with me. Should have realized that just by the descriptions, but I didn't think about it until I tried making my- something bigger. Anyway, need to work on my shrinking and growing charms more, if I want to keep changing things. Got to be able to cast them much faster. Hermione wants to add some drills to our schedule, but I told her I'd leave if she gave me even more homework. For now, I'll stick with just the hair and face if I'm in public.
I can make things bigger! But should I? It almost feels like cheating.
I can make myself more muscular, but it doesn't actually make me any stronger, so I've just been sticking with what I have. Girls aren't supposed to be worried about that, anyway, but Fleur said she liked it the other day and now I can't get that out of my head. Thanks.
Lily set the journal down and took her mirror out from her satchel. She'd taken to carrying it with her so she could practice morphing whenever she had the chance; she wasn't very good at it quite yet. It took a lot of effort to change the slightest feature, and trying too much all at once left her with a headache.
She only knew how to do what she could after very rigorous testing with Hermione, the only person other than Sirius she'd told so far. She considered not telling Hermione at all, but she changed her mind just as soon as she saw her still sleeping at her desk, a smile still on her face. As soon as Lily woke the other girl and showed her what she could do, she was wide-eyed, alert, and had an excited gleam in her eye. That one little memory was all the proof she needed.
When she woke up the next morning, she found Hermione poring over a board, on which she'd designed several experiments both to help Lily learn what she could do as well as testing the very limits of it. It took up what little free time she had left between everything else she needed to do, but she never once complained. She felt like she'd spent so little time with Hermione over the course of the term, and the experiments were a much-needed break, even if they'd yet to make a dent in the schedule.
She was staring cross-eyed into the mirror, practicing shifting her nose back and forth, when Fleur finally arrived, ranting angrily about something and hardly sparing a glance in her direction.
"I mean, can you believe it?" Fleur said with a righteous scoff. "Me, of all people?"
"Believe what?" Lily said, tucking her mirror away before Fleur could see it. A quick flick on the tip of her nose got that back to normal and a slightly mist to her eyes.
"Haven't you been listening?"
"You just got here!"
"Madame Maxime wants me to take dancing lessons!" Fleur said, her hair all in a tizzy. "Me! The complete nerve!"
"Why?" Lily asked very carefully.
"Does it matter?" Fleur snapped. "Like I need dancing lessons! I've been dancing since I was little! I don't care if it's a tradition, I am not doing it."
"Tradition?"
"The Yule Ball," Fleur said, waving it off and drawing her wand.
"There's a ball?" Lily asked in a squeaky voice.
"Of course there is, Lily," Fleur said patiently. "It comes with the Triwizard Tournament?"
"Err-"
"Takes place on Christmas?"
"I- err-"
"What did you think the dress was for?" Fleur asked.
"I just thought it was a Beauxbatons thing," Lily said, hoping her hair wasn't burning like her face was. "Err- does everybody have to participate?"
"Anybody who is anybody," Fleur said. "Fourth years and above are welcome. You wouldn't want to be the only one left out. Don't want the others thinking you couldn't find a date."
"Right," Lily said, now very thankful she had someone to fall back on.
"Do you not know how to dance?" Fleur said slyly, getting the self-important tone she always got when she realized she was better at something.
"Of course I do!"
"Show me," Fleur said, putting her wand back away into her sleeve.
"What?" Lily asked, her fight-or-flight response kicking in as she eyed the distant door.
"Give me your hands, Lily," Fleur said, coming unbearably close.
"No," Lily said, quickly clinging them to her chest. She tried to back up, but then she was against the tree, and Fleur had her cornered.
"Do not be nervous," Fleur said, pulling Lily's hands into her own.
"We're supposed to be practicing spells!" Lily practically shrieked as Fleur pulled her into motion.
"The champions always lead the dance, Lily," Fleur said, tsking when Lily accidentally stepped on her foot. "Madame Maxime will not want you embarrassing yourself in a few years, and I will not be here to teach you then. I don't think she will mind if we take some time to ourselves."
"I- err- Fleur- I- I really don't think I should be- err-"
Merlin, Fleur was so soft.
"We've been working hard enough, Lily," Fleur said, almost literally sweeping Lily off her feet as they danced to a silent tune. "I think we've earned a bit of fun."
Lily was still stuck in her stupid little daze when she returned to the dorm hours later, feeling light on her aching feet and humming the song that Fleur eventually played over a conjured gramophone. Hermione wasn't in the room, and still wasn't when Lily emerged from her late bath and chat with Sirius. While she was trying to sleep, she heard the girl emerge from her own bathroom and crawl straight into bed.
"Alright?" she asked in her dreamy haze. She didn't receive an answer before drifting off.
When she woke up the next morning, Hermione was gone again. When she ate breakfast, she was alone (for all intents and purposes). She didn't see the girl until their Transfiguration class, where Hermione was pale-faced and red-eyed and didn't take a single note. That was when Lily knew something was really wrong, but she didn't get the chance to ask before their mad rush towards History of Magic, nor during their continued tournament during Dueling. Hermione never showed up to supper, and when Lily returned from her session with Fleur, she was gone again. She repeated the behaviour the next day, even snapping at Lily when she tried, once more, to see what was wrong. When Lily left to train with Fleur, Hermione gave her a glare that almost made her not want to come back to the dorm at all. She intended on smoothing it over by resuming their experiments, but when she reached their room, Hermione was completely vanished. That time, Lily never heard Hermione return at all, and she was once again gone the next day.
Completely gone, as a matter of fact. During the day's classes, during every meal, Lily couldn't find a single hair of her constant companion. She even checked the library between them all, which made her tardy, and still couldn't find a sign of her. She skipped her session with Fleur, telling the other girl she wasn't feeling well, and instead spent it combing the island for her. She even asked a few professors, but none of them claimed to have seen her.
The last place she checked happened to be exactly where she found her; sitting at her desk, scribbling away as if nothing was wrong, in their dorm room.
"Hermione?" Lily asked carefully. Hermione didn't look or make a single noise to acknowledge her presence. When she asked louder a second time, she saw Hermione's quill almost snap under her grip.
"Do you want to work on my abilities today?" Lily asked.
"Not today?" Hermione said very firmly.
"Right," Lily said, unsure of what else to say. "I'll leave you alone, then."
Lily was feeling very lonely the next morning as she ate with the rest of the Quidditch team. Henri and Clara (who always watched their training now) kept trying to cheer her up, mostly by reminding her of tonight's party, but she just wasn't much in the mood. She was considering calling the whole thing off, only that would mean spending the time in her dorm room instead, and she had no idea what she'd done to make Hermione so angry.
When Clara and Henri insisted she spend the day with them, she acquiesced, even if only to give Hermione the space she clearly needed. When they decided to go swimming, Lily watched them from the beach. She tried sketching the two of them enjoying the water, but instead ended up drawing Hermione hard at work at her desk.
"Do you like my suit?" Clara asked, sitting down on the towel next to Lily.
"Sure," Lily said, erasing a stray line.
"You could at least look at me, you know."
"Busy."
"You know, Lily," Clara said, "you've hardly changed at all."
"What do you mean?" Lily said, erasing again. She was having a hard time getting Hermione's hair right.
"Do you need me to spell it out for you?" Clara said snidely. "You find one person who can stand being around you, and then you obsess over them. Just hope you don't drop Hermione like you did me."
"I didn't drop you," Lily said, moving on to Hermione's desk objects. "You moved away."
"That is not what happened."
"Yes, it is," Lily said firmly. "That's what you told me. You said 'dad's taking me to France,' and then I was stuck at school alone."
"You remembered that?" Clara asked quietly. "Why didn't you bring it up?"
"Because you said you didn't want to talk," Lily said with a shrug.
"I don't!"
"You sure sound like you do."
"I don't."
"Look," Lily said patiently, setting her sketch down to look at the other girl. "I get it. I told my fair share of lies about the Dursleys, too."
"I wasn't lying," Clara grumbled, laying her chin on her knees and staring out towards the sea.
"Then why did you go back?" Lily asked. "You said you go every holiday."
"Because mum made me," Clara said, pulling her legs closer to her chest. "Dad doesn't want me around, so he didn't even try fighting it."
"I don't think that's true."
"What else would be?" Clara snapped.
"Have you told him what your mum does?" Lily asked carefully.
Clara snorted. "He knows."
"Does he?"
"He doesn't care," Clara said, standing suddenly. "Come join us in the water, Potter. Stop being a stuck-up little prude like that friend of yours."
"I'll pass, thanks," Lily said, pointedly focusing back on her drawing.
Lily made a quick stop at the dorm room to drop off her things and freshen up before the party. Hermione was still sitting at her desk and working, and Lily briefly considered not saying anything at all. She laid the finished drawing on the desk next to her, hoping Hermione would see it and say something once she turned her head back around. Instead, as Hermione turned, she carried more papers with her and placed them directly over the drawing, all without noticing its existence.
"Err- Hermione," Lily said anxiously, trying to pull it out by the corner.
"Not now," Hermione snapped, giving her hand a light slap. "I'm busy."
"Right," Lily said quietly. "I'll see you later, then."
Lily left the room as quietly as she could, wand around her forearm, and made her way towards the secret beach Henri and Clara showed her earlier that day. They wanted to head straight there with her, but Lily insisted on doing it on her own. She was now running quite late, since she had the bright idea of spending an inordinate amount of time walking in and out of the bathroom, each time with her features and height completely different, in the hopes that Hermione would notice and feel like talking (she didn't).
She could see fires burning, she could hear some distant, fast paced music, and she could see forms sitting around the flames, some dancing, some chatting, some laying with their backs in the dunes watching the stars far above them. Many of them were holding cups in their hands, their liquids almost threatening to slosh out of their containers with each wild movement.
Lily briefly considered returning back to the dorm, but before she could turn tail and run, she saw Clara and Henri waving to her from the nearest fire.
"There you are!" Henri said as Lily sat down next to them. "Was starting to think you wouldn't make it."
"Why are you wearing your uniform?" Clara asked.
"Because I wanted to," Lily said pointedly.
"Here," Henri said, handing her his drink and then hopping to his feet. "I'll get another one. Want one, Clara?"
"Please," Clara said, downing the rest of her current one.
Henri walked off, leaving the two girls in an awkward silence.
"So," Clara said, drawing something in the sand with a finger. "Want to dance?"
"No," Lily said very quickly.
"Swim?"
"No."
"Have a nice snog?"
"Absolutely not."
Clara sighed and stood up. "You're no fun, Potter. Let yourself loose for once."
Lily clenched her jaw as Clara went after Henri, meeting him halfway and then walking off in a different direction without so much as a glance back at her. She thought about packing it all in and heading home, and she stood to do just that, when a very pretty girl had her caught in a hug, planting a kiss on each cheek.
"Lily!" a very drunk Fleur Delacour said, her slurred speech becoming nearly indecipherable. "I didn't know you were coming!"
"I was invited by-"
"Come here, come here!" Fleur said, dragging her along. When Lily suddenly found herself surrounded by seventh year girls, none of which she knew and all of which were incredibly pretty, she had to focus hard on not giving away her feelings.
"This is her, then?" one girl said, looking down her nose at Lily (despite her being taller than all of them). "She does not look like much."
"Go ahead, Lily," Fleur said, shoving Lily forward just a bit too hard. "Show them something incredible."
Lily had no earthly idea what she was expected to do, especially with all of them staring at her with expectations in their eyes. Her brain was scrambling, and all she knew was that she really didn't want to disappoint Fleur. She drew her wand, still incapable of finding a single spell, her cheeks still burning with the feeling of Fleur's lips. When she finally recognized the happy feeling tingling all over her body, she knew exactly what spell to use.
Expecto Patronum, she thought.
There was a brief flash, and then a silver stream briefly pooling from her wand before expanding and stretching. It broke from Lily's wand just as it became fully formed, and the great, maned lion immediately nuzzled up to an ecstatic Fleur Delacour.
"You never said you taught her a patronus!" the same, snooty girl said, suddenly looking at Lily with a far more appreciative glance.
"I didn't!" Fleur said, scratching at the great cat's belly. "Lily, where did you learn this?"
"Secret," was all Lily could manage to say. Between the aching smile on her face, and the wonderful feeling in her chest, she was finding it very hard to speak at the moment. Instead, she settled for drinking what was in the cup Henri left to her.
"Still just a child," one of Fleur's friends said, the whole group of them laughing when Lily grimaced and spat the foul liquid back up.
"Here," a very nice girl with entrancing pink hair said, taking Lily's cup from her. Lily tried not to show any signs when their hands briefly touched and she was so focused that she missed seeing the girl pour anything in it before handing it back. She raised it to her lips without thinking, finding a sweet liquid in it that tasted exactly like strawberries.
"It's what we've all been drinking," the not-so-snooty girl said, now standing much closer to Lily. "What do you call your patronus?"
"What?" Lily asked, taking another sip of the tasty drink.
"Surely, you must call him something!" Fleur said, now, for some reason, laying across her lion's fluffy belly. Lily was starting to wonder why she never thought of that; it must be delightfully warm.
"I don't call him anything," Lily said awkwardly, trying to hide her shame with more drink.
She wasn't quite sure how it happened. One moment, they were all suggesting names and arguing over what the best one was (Fleur thought Léon was best, while pink girl thought that was awfully cliché). The next, somehow, the girls were doing their best to create large replicas of Léon out of sand (Lily had no way of refusing Fleur when she seemed so excited about it).
Lily did a lot of smiling and nodding, as well as a lot of sipping from her seemingly never-ending cup of Sand Lion (she earned a laugh from pink girl after calling it that, and the name stuck). She noticed that for every sip she took of the delightful stuff, Fleur would down nearly half a glass, and she decided she was going to keep a very close eye on the increasingly drunk witch.
They tried to drag Lily into their little competition, and when she explained she didn't know the spell, they spent a good half-an-hour teaching it to her. It probably would have gone faster, but with her brain getting foggier and foggier with each sip of her drink, Fleur's very hands-on approach to correcting her form and teaching her wand motions had her feeling very flustered indeed. She did manage it in the end, though, and when the girls went off to find some boys to judge their creations, Lily found herself sitting in the sand alone, trying to work out how to create Sand Lion on her own.
"The incantation is fragivini," Fleur said, sitting next to Lily abruptly and laying a sleepy head on her shoulder. "Rose found it a couple years ago."
"Right," Lily said, suddenly finding it impossible to concentrate and instead setting her empty cup down.
"I'm surprised you wore your uniform," Fleur said, pulling at the hem of it with two fingers.
"I like it," Lily said, speaking very quickly. "I think it looks really cute, and I always feel really good while wearing it, and I didn't really know what else to wear, and I was nervous and wanted to feel better, so-"
"You are speaking too quickly," Fleur said, cutting her off with a perfect little giggle. "Did you pick Beauxbatons because you liked our uniforms, then?"
"No!" Lily said, thinking that would be a very stupid reason to switch schools. "I like the Hogwarts stuff, too, even if it is a bit stuffy, but that makes sense because it's much colder and- am I talking too much?"
"Yes," Fleur admitted, her voice quiet and sleepy. "Where is Léon?"
"Sorry!" Lily said, hastily picking her wand back up from where she left it in the sand. A quick casting later, and Fleur's wonderful head was leaving her shoulder, instead choosing to rest and snore softly on the comfort of Léon's side.
Lily tried not to feel too hurt about it, which wasn't too hard at all when the girls arrived with their judges (Lily kept her eyes on Fleur just in case). It felt especially good when they chose Lily's creation as the winner, despite her only just learning the spell. The other girls demanded an explanation, and Lily let it slip that she spent most of her free time painting and drawing, actually, and even made little reliefs out of stone back at Hogwarts. The girls made her promise to show her some paintings, and Lily, despite almost dying of embarrassment, promised to do just that very soon.
And then the party was wrapping, with people coupling up and leaving together, some in pair with somebody met that night, some in the groups they arrived with. Lily wanted to leave, too, but Fleur was still sleeping away on the beach with her head on Lily's lion. She waited as long as she dared, until the entire beach was empty save for the remains of their celebration, in case any of Fleur's friends returned for her. She was fine with doing it herself, but she had not the slightest inclination where Fleur's room was in their dorms, and she didn't much fancy stumbling around the halls carrying around a near insensate girl when she was almost half-there herself.
"Come on, you," Lily said, pulling one of Fleur's arms around her shoulder and hauling her to her feet. "Time to head home."
Fleur groaned, and Lily wondered if she'd heard anything at all, but the other girl seemed to be trying to move her feet with Lily's motion. Léon walked by their side up until Lily decided keeping her wand in her hand made carrying Fleur far too difficult.
It was hard going, even with the other girl's "assistance." Lily had no idea how much Fleur had to drink, but she decided that next time she was going to arrive early and make sure the girl controlled herself a bit more. She then had a slight panic attack at the realization that she wanted to go again, and that she actually had quite a nice time once Clara was gone.
Her fears proved correct, and it took far too long to find Fleur's room. It was two floors from the top, tucked away in a far corner, and Lily was breathing hard by the time she finally found the nameplate (she actually had to carry Fleur up the staircases, as the girl couldn't manage moving her feet up high enough to do it). She was surprised to find that Fleur didn't have a roommate engraved on her plaque, and even more surprised when she got the door open and found only a single set of furniture. The door was quite an ordeal in-and-of itself, since she had to get Fleur conscious enough to open it on her behalf.
"Thank Merlin," Lily said, breathing a sigh of relief when she finally got Fleur safely inside her home.
"Pretty," Fleur mumbled.
"What?" Lily said, hauling her over to the bed.
"You're pretty," Fleur said. Her speech was such a slur that it took Lily a long time to decipher what she was saying.
"Thank you," she said, feeling quite pleased with herself. She tried to dump Fleur on the mattress, but the girl twisted and clung to her.
"Come here," she said.
"Fleur, you need to get to bed."
"Don't wanna," Fleur said, running a hand through Lily's hair. "I think red is my favourite colour."
"Fleur-"
"You smell like strawberry."
"Fleur, really, you should-"
And then Fleur did the most startling thing Lily could have ever expected and placed her lips against her own. It was wet, far too rough, and almost everything Lily could have possibly dreamed of.
She had to fight very hard not to kiss her back, because she really needed Fleur to get to bed, and when she finally got Fleur to stop trying to go for another one and lay down, the blonde girl did so with a very satisfied smile on her face. Lily pulled a blanket over her, turned her to her side, conjured a bucket just in case she needed it, and then left the room as quickly as possible, feeling far more flustered than she ever had before.
She sprinted to her own dorm, not caring about how much noise she was making or if she woke anyone. Hermione was sleeping when she got through the door, although not for very long once Lily began digging into her wardrobe.
"Lily?" Hermione said, voice full of sleep and irritation. "What are you doing?"
"Later," Lily said, tossing a smelly shirt over her shoulder. It was in here somewhere.
"Lily, have you completely lost your mind? Do you have any idea how late it is?"
"Talk later," Lily said, finding the cool piece of glass and immediately turning to run out of the room.
"Lily!" Hermione shouted after her. The door was already closed, and then Lily was running outside, needing the cold air of the night to cool her down.
She found a nice little secluded path surrounded by trees, parked herself with her back against one, and then shouted her Godfather's name until he finally picked up.
"Blimey, Lily," he said, rubbing at his eyes. "Did you kill someone? It's almost-"
"I kissed a girl!" she blurted out, her mind incapable of thinking about anything but that.
"What?"
"I kissed a girl and I need help," Lily said before quickly launching into a recount of the night's events.
"Huh," Sirius said, scratching at the fuzz of hair on his jaw as he thought, a bemused look on his face.
"Sirius, please," Lily said desperately. "I'm freaking out over here."
"Sounds to me more like a girl kissed you than the other way around."
"Sirius!"
"You know, it's not far off from how I got my first kiss," Sirius said wistfully. "Course, it was me off my trolley and macking on- err- never mind that. What, exactly, did she say before she kissed you?"
"She said she liked my hair and I smelled like strawberry," Lily said, feeling like coming to Sirius about this was an embarrassing mistake. She just didn't have anybody else to go to; there was no way Hermione would ever understand.
"Well, that seems pretty definitive."
"She was drunk, Sirius! What if she didn't mean to? What if she thought I was somebody else?"
"Did she say your name?"
"No!"
"Well, I suppose it's possible, then," Sirius said, scratching his chin again. "You're just going to have to ask her."
"I am not doing that," Lily said, completely incapable of imagining anything more mortifying.
"Lily, I need you to think very carefully for me, alright?" Sirius said gently. "Just keep an open mind and let me talk. Can you do that?"
"Yes," Lily said reluctantly.
"It's alright if you kiss girls," Sirius said. "It's alright if you want to kiss girls, and it's alright if you ask one out. I know you're scared, but she's the one that kissed you. Even if she didn't mean anything by it, I doubt she'd be mad. Just be sly about it. Bring it up, see how she reacts, and go from there. If she seems happy about it, then go for it. If she doesn't, you can play it off as a funny thing that happened while she was pissed. Happens all the time, really. I imagine you'll have a collection of your own stories by the time you finish school."
"But what if she is mad?" Lily asked nervously. "What if she doesn't like me and it was all a big mistake and she never talks to me again?"
Sirius shrugged, which Lily found quite unhelpful.
"These things happen, Lily," he said upon seeing her reaction. "I can't tell you how many birds who've got it out for me. There's not much you can do about it but apologize and hope for the best."
"This isn't the same, Sirius!" Lily said shrilly. "Girls aren't supposed to kiss other girls!"
"Then why do you want to?" Sirius asked. "If it's so unnatural, then why do you feel this way?"
"Because I'm a freak," Lily said quietly.
"You're not a freak," Sirius said harshly. "Bloody hell, I'm going to kill those relatives of yours, can't believe Dumbledore ever thought that was a good idea."
"But what if they're right?" Lily asked. "I mean, I- There's nothing normal about me, not even for wizards."
"Lily."
"I mean, I didn't even know Metamorphmagi existed before now," Lily said, gesturing to herself. "Maybe this is all a big mistake."
"Lily," Sirius said very patiently. "I think you and I need to have a much longer talk about this, and I'd like to do it in person. It's late, and you should be getting to bed, but I want to leave you with some advice. Alright?"
Lily nodded but didn't say a thing.
"Try it out with this girl of yours," he said. "Give it a go, really. Trust me, you'll feel much better about yourself. Just talk to her first and see where it goes. Alright?"
"Alright," Lily muttered.
"Second thing," Sirius said. "I think, at this point, we need to talk about Cedric."
"What?" Lily asked. "I just got a letter from him yesterday, he's-"
"Not going to appreciate you snogging girls behind his back," Sirius finished for her. "I'm not saying you need to tell him what you're doing, but you do need to break up with him."
"But, I-"
"No arguments, Lily," Sirius said. "If you didn't notice, I didn't even know you were writing to each other. This is the first time you've mentioned him since you started term."
Lily blinked, her mind racing over past conversations and drawing a complete blank.
"All we've talked about is school and girls, Lily," Sirius continued. "You haven't spared a single thought for the boy you claim to be dating. I know this is a confusing time for you, but it's not fair of you to lead him on like this."
"You told me to experiment!"
"I did," Sirius admitted, "and now it's time to reach our conclusion. Do you feel anything for him?"
"No," Lily admitted after a pause.
"Do you feel anything for blokes at all?"
"I think they're funny!"
"Lily, that doesn't count."
"No," Lily said sheepishly.
"Then you've got to let him go," Sirius said.
"Alright," Lily said quietly, suddenly feeling ashamed of herself. "I'll- I'll break up with him. I promise."
"Do it in person, yeah?" Sirius said. "He deserves that much. And don't tell him you need to talk about something until you get to Hogwarts. You'll have him panicking the whole time, and it'll only make it worse. Just one, clean break. It sucks, but you get used to it."
Lily nodded, the pit of nerves settling in her stomach again.
"I should go," Sirius said, yawning. "Try to get some sleep, Lily. We'll talk tomorrow. I want to hear all about this bird of yours."
"I have to do it tomorrow?" Lily asked in horror.
"The sooner, the better," Sirius said with a wink. "Goodnight, Lily."
"Night," Lily said as the connection broke. She let out a sigh, set the mirror down on the ground next to her, and leaned her head back against the tree and closed her eyes, hands perched between her knees.
She opened them and looked forward when she heard noises coming down the path. She briefly considered running for it, in case it was a staff member, but when Clara and Henri came around the corner, disheveled and giggling, she decided not to. She almost thought they wouldn't even notice her sitting there when Clara motioned to her, waved Henri off at the break (one direction went to the boys' dorm, the other the girls'), and came to sit next to her.
"Hey," she said playfully, bumping her elbow into Lily's.
"Hey?" Lily said far more cautiously.
"Where have you been all night?" Clara said, hiccupping and trailing a finger along Lily's arm. "We looked everywhere."
"Must not have tried too hard, then, since I was right where you left me," Lily said.
"Hey!" Clara said, apparently not hearing her. "Want to hear something really funny?"
"Sure?"
"I think you're really pretty," Clara said, "and I think about our little kiss all the time."
"That's not funny."
"No," Clara said with a shrug, "but I just wanted to say it, and I thought you'd ignore me if I said I wanted to do it again."
"Clara, I don't have the time for this right now," Lily said, trying to stand. "I need to get to bed."
"You're always trying to blow me off," Clara said, standing with her and pushing her back into the tree. "I'm getting really sick of it, Potter."
"Clara-"
"Mum always says pretty girls are for kissing," Clara said, planting one on her neck. "Course, she also says that's why I never get one, but she's always been full of dragon dung."
"Stop," Lily said, pushing Clara away, only for her to come right back.
"Merlin, you're so pretty," Clara said, planting a kiss on Lily's lips this time.
She didn't feel a single thing. There was no magical spark, there was no urge to return the feelings. There was nothing but a sense of annoyance.
"I said stop!" Lily said shoving her away harder. Clara slipped and tumbled to the ground.
"What's your problem?" she said, rubbing at the back of her head.
"What's yours?" Lily said. "How clear do I have to make it that I'm tired of you trying to flirt with me all the time?"
"You didn't have a problem with it before," Clara said.
"Yeah, but you keep doing it, even when it makes me uncomfortable," Lily said. "Just stop it. Keep your hands off of me and stop talking about how I look, I'm sick of it."
"Potter-"
"And while I'm at it," Lily continued, "stop talking about my friends as if they're nothing just because you're jealous."
"Potter-"
"I'm going to bed," Lily said, storming off.
She was running low on fumes by the time she made it back to her dorm, feeling a bone-deep weariness. The pleasant fog over her brain was starting to turn into a headache, and all she wanted to do was drink several glasses of cold water and then sleep through the morning's Quidditch training (she was certain the rest of the team would be, too, since most of them were in attendance for the festivities).
Instead, she found she an angry Hermione sitting cross-legged and armed at her desk, staring expectantly at the door.
"Can it wait?" Lily asked with a sigh.
"No," Hermione said.
"Hermione, really," Lily said. "I'm sorry I woke you up, but I just really needed to talk to Sirius and-"
Lily froze in place as she went to empty her pocket into the wardrobe.
"Have you been drinking?" Hermione asked sharply. "You sound… off."
"Yes," Lily said, checking her other side.
"I can't believe you, Lily, why didn't you-"
"It's gone," Lily said, running back towards the door. The handle didn't even turn when she tried it, and she turned back to Hermione. "Let me out."
"No."
"Hermione, please," she said. "I'll be right back, but I forgot my mirror, and I need to go grab it."
"Your mirror?" Hermione asked. "Just use the one in your bathroom."
"It's not that kind of mirror," Lily said, tugging helplessly on the door. "It's magic, I have one, Sirius has the other, and we use it to talk so we can- will you let me out already?"
"Lily, calm down," Hermione said gently, the cool tone leaving and standing from her seat. "I'll help you. Where did you leave it?"
"Next to the tree," Lily said.
"A tree."
"Yes," Lily said. "And, no, I don't remember which one, but I need to go find it."
"Why couldn't you just talk to Sirius in here?"
"Because," Lily said, wishing Hermione would stop with the interrogation already, "I knew you were angry, and I just needed to talk to Sirius about kissing- err-"
Lily froze and clamped her mouth shut.
"You were kissing somebody?" Hermione asked, the cool tone coming back. "Did I hear that right?"
"Yes," Lily said. "Can I please go get my mirror?"
"I can't believe you, Lily," Hermione said, sounding so completely disappointed. "I thought you were better than this. Who was it?"
"Does it matter?"
"Was it Henri?"
"Hermione, this is stupid," Lily said, raising her voice. "Let me out. I need to get my mirror."
"Lily, you can't just-"
"It's none of your business who I go kissing!" Lily shouted. "Open the door or I'll blow it down."
"Fine," Hermione said, flicking her wand towards it with an angry mutter.
Lily was out the moment it opened, running and trying to retrace her steps. She was certain she found the right spot, but everything just looked so similar. There weren't even any footprints to trace, nor could she find any signs of where she'd been sitting or where Clara fell. She tried the summoning spell, but she didn't know if she wasn't close enough or if it might have broken trying to get to her. She was out all night looking for it, and when she marched back to the dorm after sunrise, shoulders slumped in defeat, Hermione wasn't even there so she could talk or apologize.
The mirror was gone, and she couldn't find it.