Gifts of the Heart

"Don't delude yourself."

"Hey…"

"Don't think that you'll ever be saved."

"Hope."

"You're going to be alone with this feeling."

"Hope, wake up."

"Forever."

"Hope, I'm right here."

Hope gasped when she opened up her eyes. She was breathing heavily, her heart was convulsing out of her chest, and her body was shaking in fear. Hope's vision was blurry from the tears that had formed, and she felt so very lonely. However, all that coldness and that darkness and that terror went away right when… Hope felt someone place their warm hand over hers.

"It's okay now…" he told her, massaging his thumb over her skin. "You're safe, Hope."

"N-Newt…?" Hope whimpered as her eyes lifted and slowly met his. "You're… You're here…"

"Of course I am," Newt said with a gentle smile. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Upon hearing this, Hope took a deep breath and deliberately sat up in bed. Hugo was laying beside her, the night sky was above her, which was exactly the way Hope had left it. After that drunken fiasco a few hours before, Hope had no problem getting to sleep: the moment her head hit the pillow, she was out. Although, it seemed that her mind - like always - wasn't going to let her sleep peacefully. Hope instinctively moved her hand away from underneath Newt's to hug her legs to her chest; she still didn't have the strength to accept his kindness or his touch. She couldn't… even look at him.

"I'm sorry, Newt…" Hope eventually whispered. "I'm sorry that I'm-"

"Enough with that already," Newt interjected sternly. "You don't have to be sorry, Hope. It's not bloody necessarily. I'm doing this 'cause I want to."

"I-I know, but…" Hope's arms squeezed her legs tighter. "I just can't seem to accept it, Newt."

Newt sighed. "It's only the second night, so I don't expect you to."

"Newt… You're too kind."

This time, Newt huffed. "Not this again."

"It's true," Hope argued, whipping her head back and giving Newt a knowing glance. "I mean, you didn't even tell anyone about my nightmares. You could've, but you didn't. And I didn't even have to tell you not to."

"That's only because it was obvious that you didn't," Newt argued right back. "Now, are we really gonna argue about who's nicer, or are we gonna finally talk about what's going on in your dreams?"

In response, Hope's eyes widened.

"…Look, you know I wouldn't force you," Newt continued after Hope didn't respond with words. "I wouldn't do that to you. But I'm worried, Hope. I've seen you wake up crying twice, and that's all the proof I need to know that your nightmares are bad. They terrify you, Hope. And they say things like this, don't they? That you… That you don't deserve to be helped?"

"Newt, that's…" Hope looked away again. "I don't…"

"Hope, please talk to me," Newt pleaded in an emotional tone of voice. It was dripping with sadness and urgency. "Please tell me what these nightmares are. You don't have to face this all alone. I'm right here, Hope, and I'm never leaving. Whatever you say to me, won't change our friendship."

Hope's eyes wavered as they stared down at her bed. It was true that she didn't want to burden anyone with her problems, but if Newt truly wanted her to, then… then who was she to refuse? Newt was choosing to protect her and give up his night. He was choosing to sleep on the ground for her. Likewise, the more Hope thought, the more she realized how she'd be wanting the same as Newt. If one of the Gladers felt this way, she'd wouldn't want them to be alone with this feeling. Hope would do anything in her power to make them feel better. So again, who was Hope to refuse such a kind offer?

She'd be a hypocrite if she did.

"Th-There's… a woman and there's… a girl," Hope ultimately admitted. Her tone was shaky, scared, but she carried on. "The first I heard of the woman was the first day after I'd fainted. And she was how I made that chocolate. I-I hear her voice everywhere. Even when I'm not sleeping. I think… she used to sing me that lullaby, too."

"Wait, then…" Newt shook his head. "You think that these dreams… aren't really dreams?"

"They feel too real, Newt," Hope muttered and then took another deep breath. "Because the girl… the girl is… Sh-She tells me things, Newt. Things that I… I don't like…"

"Like what…?" Newt asked, making Hope bury her face between her legs and chest.

"Unlike the woman, the girl says things that make me afraid to sleep at night. She calls me things. Tells me horrible things. I-I think I did something to her, Newt, and now… now she's angry with me." Hope then had to sniffle back some tears. "W-What if I hurt her, Newt? What if I did something terrible to her? What if I'm terrible? Maybe I was sent up here because I deserved it? B-Because I did something unforgivable… Maybe… M-Maybe I'm the bad guy…"

Newt stared at Hope's shaking back, slowly taking in everything she had just told him. Obviously, Newt knew it was going to be bad, but he didn't think it was going to be this bad. Whatever that girl was saying to Hope, it was affecting her really negatively. Hope was questioning her entire self, her entire life, because of a single girl's voice. And sure, Newt didn't know the entirety of what this girl was saying, yet he was seeing what she did to Hope. What she had done to Hope.

Naturally, Newt didn't have all the answers. He didn't know what the girl's and woman's voices meant, nor did he know what truly happened in Hope's past. Still, the one thing that Newt did know was how much he wanted to comfort this sad, sad girl sitting before him.

"…You've been dealing with a lot of pain, haven't you?" Newt said, lifting his hand up to place it atop of Hope's head. At first, the girl visibly stiffened in spite of the touch, but as Newt continued to talk, her body… slowly relaxed. "You've been scared. Confused. Angry with yourself. And I… I know exactly how that feels."

"Y-You… You do?"

"I know how hard it is to deal with those emotions alone. How suffocating it is. But it'll be okay. We all have demons and pasts that we wanna forget about. Every person here does, which is why… we'll accept you regardless of what that girl says to you. Or even what you say to yourself. It's okay, Hope. You're not alone, and you are not the bad guy. Not to this place, at least. You are our friend, and that will never change."

Thump! The thump of Hope's heartbeat sounded through her body. She felt it beat with happiness and relief. From Newt's hand resting upon her head, Hope felt his words seep into her soul. She had never felt such acceptance or freedom in her life - it was almost like all the bad feelings that had accumulated over the last month… had washed away. She felt such intense emotion that it made her face heat up into a red blush, and Hope felt Newt's touch stronger than ever before.

Hope didn't know why having someone promise unconditional partnership made her feel so relieved. This kind of relief almost felt like… she had been waiting years for someone to say that to her. Maybe, all this time, Hope had been yearning to be accepted for her pain. For someone, anyone, to accept all of her: the good and the bad. Newt's endless compassion had made Hope's heart feel alive again. She had never felt… such admiration and gratitude for a person before.

"…Th-Thank you, Newt," Hope ultimately whimpered, allowing her tears of relief and sadness to flow down her cheeks. "Thank you so much."

After he heard this, the warmest of smiles admired Newt's face. "Anything for you, Greenie."

Hope had been saved by Newt once more.

The next morning, Newt was gone. Once again, he had left before Hope awoke from her slumber. Though, Hope figured that Newt's absence was due to his understanding of her. Newt knew that she still felt bad about him watching over her, so he'd decided to leave in the morning so that she wouldn't have to relive that feeling. Moreover, what happened during the night, stayed at night. It was time for a new day. New opportunities. New experiences. Sometimes, the nightmares did leak into Hope's day, but they could never stay there.

Without even trying, the Gladers made sure of that.

"Oh! Hello, Gally!" Hope greeted when said boy entered the kitchen. "What do we owe the plea-"

"Don't humor him, Hope," Frypan interrupted. "He's just here to steal our food."

"I'm not "stealing," Fry," Gally protested as he walked over to the basket of apples. He picked one up, threw it into the air, caught it, and then bit into it. "I'm snacking."

Frypan raised an eyebrow. "You just had Lunch."

"So?" Gally asked, leaning against the wall behind him. "I've just come back from building, and do you know how much that drains you? No, you don't."

"U-Um…" Hope cut in when the two glared daggers at one another. "W-What are you building, Gally?"

"We're repairing things," Gally replied while - thankfully - turning his gaze to Hope. "How about you guys? What's for Dinner?"

"None of your-"

"Mashed potatoes and gravy with a side of vegetables!" Hope said before Frypan could retort. "I'm peeling the potatoes, and Frypan is cutting up the veggies!"

"Are you… peeling the potatoes with a knife?" Gally questioned, making Hope tilt her head quizzically.

"Y-Yes… Why?"

"I dunno." Gally shrugged while he took another bite of his apple. "Just don't want you to cut yourself again, that's all."

"Oh…" Hope muttered with a depressing smile forming on her face. Right."

"How is it, anyway?" Frypan also asked. "When do you get the stitches out?"

Hope looked down at her bandaged finger. "Jeff and Clint said that it'd be in a few days. I-I'm not really excited, though, since it's probably gonna hurt."

"At least it didn't get infected," Frypan acknowledged. "Then you'd have no finger."

"R-Right." Hope smiled again. "I should look on the bright side."

"…Yo, Gally!" All of a sudden, a boy's voice bellowed through the kitchen. "We need your help with something!"

"Okay! Coming!" Gally shouted back and then threw his quickly-eaten apple into the garbage. As he walked away, he turned around to show the Cooks a wave. "C'ya at dinner, you two!"

"Don't do anything stupid!" Frypan yelled, and to Hope's surprise, she saw Gally smile in response. Furthermore, the Builder turned around and walked away, leaving Fry and Hope alone in the kitchen once more. However, Hope didn't immediately go back to peeling the potatoes. Instead, she stared at Siggy's own smile; as Gally walked away, Siggy was smiling a smile that… Hope had never seen on him before. It was boyish and friendly. Soft and proud. The rare look made Hope's curious mouth unable to keep shut.

"Hey, Frypan…?" Hope murmured. "When did you become friends with Gally?"

"Huh?" Frypan instantly turned to Hope in confusion. "Uhm, where did that come from?"

"It's just that… you two seem close."

"In what way?"

"Well, I don't see you scolding anyone like you scold Gally."

"I… 'scold' him?"

"I-I'm not saying that you're mean or anything! I just mean that… you… act more honest around him. You're more open about your feelings."

"Tch. You catch on quick, Hope," Frypan snickered, eyeing Hope with an amused expression. "Or… did you get that from Newt's stupid story about us?"

"W-Well, maybe a little bit. And you, of course, don't need to tell me anything, but I'm curious about how you two started out. How your relationship became the way it is today."

"Pfft," Frypan snickered again. "You really wanna know? It might not be a very interesting story."

"That's okay," Hope assured. "I just… wanna know more about you two. Your stories."

"Okay then." Frypan smirked as he leaned his hands against the counter behind him. "Just try not to bawl your eyes out when I tell you how amazing I am."

Frypan told the story of when Gally first entered the Maze. It was a few months after Siggy himself had entered, so he had had time to become the Keeper of the Cooks and settle into his new life. The boys who had been brought up before Gally, however, weren't like him at all. They were scared. Petrified. Horrified. They never stop shaking with fear. But when Gally came up, he was different. Immediately, Siggy could tell the difference.

Gally was angry.

Resentful.

Sensitive.

Easily annoyed.

If he was a color, Gally would be red.

He lashed out at anyone who tried to help him. He refused to accept what had happened to him. He didn't want to believe that he was trapped. Anyone that would get near Gally, would either get threatened or physically hit. Gally spent many days down in the pit, trembling with madness. Though, it wasn't fully Gally's fault. He didn't understand that his response to fear was anger, so he didn't know how to control it.

And Siggy understood this.

"After a few days of me bringing him food, I finally found the courage to actually talk to him," Frypan explained to Hope. "I mean, even if he was trapped in the pit, Gally scared me. He could've ripped my body in two for all I knew."

"What did you talk to him about?" Hope questioned, prompting Frypan to smile sheepishly.

"Well, it's a little embarrassing, but… I told him about… how I became a Cook."

"Being stuck in here won't make things better," Siggy remembered telling Gally. "It'll only make things worse."

"How could things get any worse?" Gally had asked from where he'd sat in the corner of the pit. "How could this possibly get worse?"

"It doesn't have to be like this."

"Then what should it be like, huh? You want me to frolic around in the grass and just move on?"

"Not move on. Just… try to find ways to forget."

"You can't actually that I-"

"For the time being, I mean!" Siggy had interrupted. "Look, my thing is cooking. I cook to forget about where I am; I do it, so I can stop being scared."

"But I'm not scared. I'm angry."

"Then find something that you can take your anger out on. Find something that calms you."

"Tch. Like what?"

"Well…" Siggy thought for a second. "Alby needs someone to chop up trees… A lot of trees."

Therefore, that was how Gally found his skill for all things wooden. When Alby first trusted Gally enough with an ax, he chopped down the trees and sliced them up into perfect logs. Gally was so proud of himself that he had ran to Siggy to tell him the news. Though, Siggy was more than proud. He was happy for Gally. He had never seen the boy smile like that, and it was a comfort to see. Similarly, a few months later, when Gally became the Keeper of the Builders, Siggy felt even more pride. Gally was proud of himself and happy from the bottom of his heart, and that was all Siggy had ever wanted.

"It… made me feel like… I had finally done something right," Siggy ended as his eyes beamed with affection. "That I had finally managed to help someone. Just like… Alby had once helped me."

"Frypan…" Hope whispered his name. "That's so sweet…"

"Hey, I told you not to cry," Siggy teased and then looked his eyes out at the Glade. Those same eyes found Gally talking with his Builder buddies, a smile on his freckled-face. "Still, I'm glad that he's not that closed-off kid anymore. He's really come out of his shell and made a lot of friends. I'm glad that… he's found some kind of solace."

Hope smiled warmly. "You really care about him…"

"I do," Frypan said without hesitation. "You know how much I want to be useful, so… so when I helped Gally, it felt… It felt like he had given me a gift. The best gift… anyone could have ever given me."

"And I think you might be Gally's greatest gift, too," Hope stated, causing Frypan's eyes to widen in response. "I mean, you gave him the gift of building. Without that, Gally wouldn't be the person he is today. He would still be that 'closed-off' kid."

That girl had no idea how happy she had made Siggy just then. The way Siggy was feeling, couldn't have even been put into words. Somehow, Hope could always say what Siggy wanted to hear the most. She knew how to make him feel better… and even better than better. How she did it? He didn't know. All Siggy truly cared about… was how precious she was to him.

"Yep," Siggy smiled brightly, "you really are one of my favorite people here, Hope."

"Heh, okay," Hope chucked in ignorance before turning back around to her potatoes. "Let's just get back to making Dinner, alright? We have a long afternoon ahead of us."

"Yeah…" Siggy took a deep breath. "Let's get these boys fed."