One week later:
''How is the job going B?'' Mercedes asks as they sit at an empty spot on the beach enjoying a late afternoon picnic with Sam, Santana, Diego and Holly, Brittany turns to her after sipping on her coke and smiles slightly automatically signing what she says so Santana and Diego won't feel left out.
''Amazing I got to watch and write about my first two games, looks like people like it and my boss just told me to keep up the good work.''
Diego reaches out tapping Brittany's shoulder and smiles brightly forming his little hands into fists thumbs sticking out, he holds them close to each other and moves one thumb forward pointing in her direction and one into the opposite direction also towards him. What sports and teams B?
Brittany smiles kindly and gently taps the dodgers cap she wears and holds up one finger telling him that was the first game, she locks eyes with him and licks her lips. LAFC was the second game, I have to report about all different kinds of sports.
Diego's eyes widen in excitement and he quickly leans up on his knees with a big smile excitedly pointing at his own ears and moving his pointer fingers in wide circles. Rams too?
Holly watches them with a loving smile knowing Brittany is a Rams fan too and looks over at Santana, she glances at Mercedes and Sam as she sees the Latina's adoring smile and sucks in her lips slowly nodding her head as she sees Mercedes raise a questioning eyebrow.
She opens her mouth to say something but quickly shuts it as she sees street performers set up slightly behind Mercedes, she points at them nudging Santana and smiles. ''Looks like we have some performers joining us.''
Santana nods her head watching the small group set up their stuff and kisses her sons head as he settles down in front of her playing with his cars, she feels everyone move closer to her to get a better view and watches the group lighten up a big torch.
''What are they doing?'' Mercedes asks in confusion not noticing the discomfort her boyfriend and Brittany are in at seeing the flame, Santana taps her shoulder ready to tell her that those guys are fire breathers but quickly loses that thought as the first huge fire ball lightens up their faces and Brittany and Sam both jump ready to flee.
''Babe?'' She sees Mercedes ask Sam in confusion, Santana tilts her head seeing the typical signs of PTSD having experienced it in the past with her father and quickly stands up turning to Holly knowing Mercedes won't understand her quickly.
We have to make them feel grounded, place your hands on their shoulders with as much strength as possible! She quickly signs the older blonde moving behind Brittany, she pushes her hands down on her shoulders feeling her slim body tremble underneath her touch and watches her son cautiously walk towards Brittany into her line of sight before dropping down in her lap knowing she had told her a bit about his grandparents and the reason why they don't go to them.
Holly watches on in amazement as she sees Santana act fast and quickly follows her lead planting her hands down on Sam's shoulders. ''Cedes block their view from the fire.'' She tells the girl watching on in confusion, she looks down at Sam as she sees Mercedes do what she said and squeezes his shoulder softly. ''It's okay you are safe, you are home.'' She says loudly so Brittany hears her too.
Santana glances at Holly nodding her head as she sees her keeping up what she said like a mantra and feels the blonde slowly relax under her touch, she slowly walks around her keeping her hands on her shoulders and crouches down in front of her as she sees that she wrapped one arm around Diego's waist knowing it allows her to be grounded more.
She locks eyes on stormy blue orbs and she holds up her right hand the tip of her fingers touching her thumb and quickly follows it up with holding up her pointer finger supporting the base with her thumb and her middle finger pointed at Brittany. Okay?
Brittany slowly nods her head blinking away the last bit of her flashback and shoots her a small shy smile, she turns her head to look at Sam and sees him already looking at her the same terror filling her gut reflecting back at her in his eyes.
''Fuck this shit.'' Sam tells her as he stands up. ''See you tomorrow.''
Brittany watches him walk off knowing the flashback scared him and drops her head taking deep breaths trying to calm her heart rate not noticing Mercedes quickly following Sam after apologizing to them, Holly looks at her niece in concern and looks at Santana feeling helpless.
Santana bites her lip and nods her head into the direction Sam ran to. She needs to leave this spot, the flashback is still coursing through her body. She explains slowly so Holly understands, Holly nods her head in agreement and walks up to her niece shooting Diego a kind grin as he slowly steps back looking at his new friend in concern.
''Up you go sweetheart.'' She whispers helping her niece stand up, she wraps an arm around her waist and turns to Santana nodding her head to the parking lot silently telling her that she will drive all of them having kept Diego's seat in her car.
''I need a walk.'' Brittany whispers softly as they reach the parking lot, Holly shakes her head unlocking her car and kisses her cheek as she opens the passenger seat door for her.
''Nope as much as I understand that I won't let you walk alone in this state, please let us go home before you go out okay?'' She helps her sit down closing the door and turns to Santana licking her lips. ''Would it be okay if I drive directly home? I think she needs the feeling of home to snap completely out of it.''
Santana slowly nods her head running her hand through Diego's hair and smiles nervously. Can I maybe talk to her there? I don't know exactly how she is feeling but I know how to handle this situation, maybe I can help.
Holly nods her head and smiles. ''I think that could really help a lot Santana, it's more than fine if you are sure that you want to do it.'' She opens the car door as Santana just nods her head and looks down at the little boy. ''Hot chocolate?'' She asks knowingly.
She laughs as he immediately nods his head with a bright smile and walks around the car knowing Santana will buckle Diego in, she slides into the drivers seat glancing at her niece and sighs sadly as she sees her looking forward panic still clear on her face.
She glances in the rear view mirror pulling out of the parking lot as soon as she sees the two on the back seat buckled in while communicating and turns her eyes back on the road just allowing the silence to be a part of the car ride today.
Santana glances at the two blondes sitting up front biting her lip as she sees no communication between them at all knowing Brittany is still fighting with her thoughts and turns back to her son, she tilts her head as she sees his nervous face and focuses on his hands.
Mami is Britty like your papi?
Her eyebrows raise in surprise suddenly realizing why he is nervous and quickly shakes her head. No she isn't mijo, B experienced something really bad while she was away and it scares her a lot. She explains trying to find the right way to explain her son what demons Brittany is battling. Mi papi was a really mean guy without a reason and used his trauma as another reason to act meaner than before, Brittany is good we noticed that but she is really scared and doesn't know how to handle what she feels.
Well you can show her right? Just like you tried to show your papi? Diego asks cutely keeping their eyes locked, Santana glances at the silent blonde staring out of the window and bites her lip turning back to her son.
I will definitely try if she let's me mijo. She leans over kissing the top of his head and smiles lovingly. Will you drink some hot chocolate with Holly while I talk to B?
She smiles lovingly as he immediately nods his head with a big smile knowing he loves Holly's hot chocolate and reaches out to unbuckle him the second Holly parks her car and Brittany jumps out jogging into the house, she slides out of the car walking around it and squeezes Holly's hand as she waits for them following Brittany with her eyes and a sad smile playing on her lips.
She helps her son out of the car smiley as he immediately takes a hold of her hand and turns to Holly as they walk into the kitchen. Do you mind me going upstairs and try to talk to her?
Holly shakes her head leaning against the kitchen counter and sighs. ''I think your chances are better than mine Santana.'' She tells her honestly. ''Go ahead, second door on your left is her room.''
Santana nods her head and crouches down kissing her sons forehead. I will go up and talk to B, listen to Holly okay? She stands back up as he nods his head and stands back up after he kissed her cheek, she turns on her heels after Holly squeezes her hand in thanks and jogs up the stairs.
She knocks on the second door on her left before walking in and looks over to the bed, she sighs as she sees Brittany's back facing her knowing she doesn't know she walked into the room and walks over to the bed gently tapping her shoulder.
''God aunt H, please just give me a..'' Brittany turns around and her eyes widen as she sees Santana. ''Santana!''
Santana smiles sadly as she sees the shock on her face and mentions her hand to the edge of the bed silently asking if she can sit down, she kicks off her shoes as she slowly nods her head and sits down near the edge crossing her legs underneath her butt.
She holds her hands in front of her touching her thumbs with her pointer finger and slowly waves her hands in front of her. I don't want you to explain everything but. She starts slowly keeping their eyes locked so she will know that the blonde understands her, she moves her right hand up to her ear and holds it behind her ear. Just hear me out okay?
She watches the blonde slowly sit up and takes a deep breath as she slowly nods her head, she closes her eyes to gather her thoughts knowing she is about to tell her past for the very first time to someone she barely knows and gulps thickly knowing deep down the blonde won't judge her and it will be worth it.
She slowly opens her eyes again after exhaling shakily and locks eyes with Brittany, she moves her left hand towards her body and curls her hand making it look like she is throwing something over her shoulder. I am about to tell you about my past, if I am going too fast or if you don't understand something just grab one of my hands and ask okay?
Brittany raises a shocked eyebrow having heard that nobody in the group knows anything about Santana's past and slowly nods her head again knowing she doesn't need to sign her agreement, Santana also nods her head and blows out a breath. Okay so I grew up in a small town called Lima in Ohio. She starts. My parents always thrived to be successful with my mother being a lawyer and my father gaining success in the army, before I was born my father almost lost his leg due to a roadside bomb so he couldn't continue his career.
She pauses looking into Brittany's eyes and smiles sadly as she sees her watching her intently. The doctors managed to save his leg but he could never serve again and had to adjust walking on crutches the rest of his life, I think he was already quite stern before but I am not sure about that all I know is that my childhood was a fucking nightmare.
I was born eight months after the accident and the fact that I was born deaf did not sit well with the both of them which I noticed as soon as I turned six and they just did not talk to me at all, I had to learn everything all by myself and if it wasn't for the old lady at the library helping me during the almost empty days and encouraging me to keep learning even though I messed a lot of things up I finally managed to at least try and communicate with some kids at my school even though the most of them bullied me.
Brittany smiles sadly seeing the pain on the Latina's face and slowly reaches forward grabbing her trembling hands, she runs her thumb over the back of it and frowns slightly. She moves her free hand to the side of her forehead and brings it down forming a Y with her fingers. Why are you opening up old wounds Santana?
Santana locks eyes with her and smiles sadly. Because I think you are worth going through the pain of telling it for once and because I know you are suffering from PTSD just like he was. She smiles sadly as she sees the blonde lean back shocked and shrugs, she holds up her hands fingers spreads palms facing her and alternates them as she moves them up and down. I don't know exactly why but I figured it has to do something with fire.
Brittany gulps thickly and nods her head. Yeah, a big fire. She confirms her hands shaking, Santana holds up a finger telling her to stop before she can tell her about it and shakes her head.
No, no I don't want you to tell me yet, hear me out first okay? She licks her lips as she nods her head and sighs. I won't tell you the whole sob story of my parents ignoring my needs during the whole time I stayed with them or them not even trying to understand me so let's move fast forward to my high school years.
She looks down at her hands knowing the hardest part of her story will start and gulps thickly. In high school I found passion in cheerleading and the coach gave me a chance which I grabbed and showed everyone that even with a disability life doesn't stop, I became popular for a short while so my parents were impressed but still treated me like a maid instead of their own daughter.
She glances up at the blonde seeing the anger in her eyes and reaches up wiping away her tears before they can drop down on her cheeks. Whatever I did it wasn't right so I started to seek attention elsewhere, well the attention came during my last prom in the form of a boy named Chris.
Chris was a jock and asked me out to prom, we had a blast and while I thought sparks were flying between us it was all just a huge act for him. We became a couple and my parents were happy because I had someone else to turn to whenever I needed help or attention even though Chris also didn't try to understand me completely. She pauses as her vision becomes blurry and drops her head lifting her shirt to wipe away her tears, Brittany watches her and frowns sadly, reaching out to grab her hand once again.
She shakes her head as tear filled brown orbs look up and sighs. Santana please stop, this is hurting you too much.
Santana just shakes her head and licks her lips. Chris and I got together when I was nineteen, I just turned nineteen a few days before graduating because I had trouble learning. She continues. I got into the community college near our small town and he asked me to move in with him, I was ecstatic at the idea of leaving a household filled with no love at all and quickly agreed not realizing I would move into another household with the exact same treatment.
She looks down at her hands shaking her head as Brittany tries to stop her once again and gulps. No I am okay. She tells her, she takes a deep breath and blinks away her tears. The second I moved completely into his apartment he started ignoring me only paying attention to me whenever he had needs, I continued going to college and well the relationship went on the same for a year and a half.
She balls her hands up into fists sticking her pointer fingers out and taps the tip of her left pointer finger down on her right. Until a few months after my twentieth birthday, I noticed I was late and realized that I could be pregnant. I worked up the courage to tell Chris and the second I did he kicked me out yelling that he would never want a retarded kid.
She stops as a sob breaks through and shakes her head as Brittany gently grabs her wrist, Brittany just keeps a hold on her wrist and tugs on it. She gulps down her anger as tear filled sad brown orbs locks on her own and softly tugs on her wrist again silently telling her to come closer, she slowly wraps her arm around her waist as she scoots closer and pulls her in a hug her heart breaking at the sad noises leaving the Latina's throat.
Santana sniffles closing her eyes as she feels Brittany's strong arms wrap securely around her waist and gulps thickly as the feeling of security and protection fills her gut, Brittany slowly pulls back looking at Santana practically sitting in her lap and smiles sadly.
She holds her hands between them and touches the tip of her thumb with all her fingers the back of her hands grazing each other, she allows them to fall down and shrugs. Honestly it's his loss, D is an amazing kid and he is missing out. I love talking to your little boy and he is really wise for his age, you are doing a great job in raising him Santana which makes you an amazing mami, D doesn't need anyone else in his life.
Santana sniffles gazing into stormy blue orbs and gulps thickly as she covers her mouth with her fingers before moving her hand towards Brittany. Thank you, that means a lot. She runs a hand through her hair and exhales slowly. Anyways after he kicked me out I tried moving back to my parents but they also told me that they won't be the joke of the town just because their and I quote 'Whore of a brat slept around with other guys, turns out Chris called them before I even had the time to explain myself.
Suddenly I was a pregnant twenty year old with no place to stay. She continues shrugging. I lived in the streets for a week until my college had a dorm free but I didn't want to stay near my hometown so I asked for a transfer, luckily my art professor has seen a few of my works and called around sending my works to a few college and UCLA never hesitated and allowed the transfer.
Brittany gazes into Santana's tear filled brown orbs and silently asks if she is allowed to ask something, she smiles sadly as Santana nods her head and reaches out wiping away the tear that manages to find it's way down her cheek. Did they ever contact you again?
Santana nods her head and gulps. My parents did, Chris only contacted me right after I gave birth and terminated all of his parental rights not even knowing how D was doing or what gender his child was. My parents contacted me after my mother lost her job and asked for money. She scoffs out a laugh as she sees Brittany's eyebrows raise in surprise and nods her head. That was my reaction too, I told them to fuck off and never contact me again. They tried to go down the we are your parents road but I quickly shot that down and told them that if I ever get the chance to change my last name I would take it in a heartbeat.
Can't blame you for that. Brittany tells her with a small grin. I am sorry this happened to you Santana but your past is a part of the person you are now and you taking matters into your own hands and turning your life around makes you to the woman you are today, I respect you a lot more as I already did before you told me everything because after everything that happened you are still standing strong and you are an amazing mother, friend, artist and all around person, people who don't take the time to get to know you are really missing out on your awesomeness.
Santana gasps tearfully seeing nothing but the truth in Brittany's stormy blue orbs and sniffles as tears stream down her cheeks once again. Brittany She signs amazed not knowing she also whispered it.
Brittany's head snaps up the second she hears Santana's soft voice and looks at her in surprise, she smiles sadly as she sees tears stream down her cheeks and reaches out cupping both of her cheeks wiping away her tears.
You look surprised, why? Santana asks in confusion, Brittany bites her lip as she notices that Santana didn't notice that she just spoke in front of her and squeezes her hands softly.
She lifts her right hand up to her chin and taps it with her chin. You just said my name She quickly shakes her head grabbing both of Santana's hands as she tries to lift her hand to cover her mouth in embarrassment and shoots her a small smile, she let's go of one of her hands and moves it to her own neck moving her pointer and middle finger up and away from it. Don't be embarrassed, you have a beautiful voice Santana.
Santana blushes and locks eyes with the blonde. How do you do that? She bites her lip as Brittany just tilts her head in confusion and gulps. You make me feel so much it's scary
Brittany shrugs her shoulders and smiles slightly. I just point out the truth, truth that no one else thinks is worth mentioning.
Santana shakes her head and bites her lip. It's not just that though, seriously I never, really never not notice a sound coming out of me but it just happened moments ago. You make me forget why I try to hide myself and it's terrifying.
Brittany squeezes Santana's legs comfortably pressed against hers softly and sighs as they lock eyes. She touches her chin with her thumb and moves it down covering it with her other hand. You don't have to hide around me Santana.
Santana slowly nods her head and smiles slightly. Yeah I am slowly starting to believe that my body knows it and betrays on the things my mind tries to tell it, but you hide around me too or well more around D.
Brittany frowns in confusion and moves her right hand pointer and middle finger out to her left hand palm open facing her other hand moving her fingers in a half circle. What do you mean?
Santana leans back a bit so she can look clearly at her and smiles nervously. Last week at the park you told me that your current situation isn't good for a child, but don't you think that I know best in what kind of environment I allow my son to grow up in?
Brittany slowly shakes her head and taps her head with her finger. You don't understand Santana
Santana locks eyes with her once again after Brittany looked around the room for a bit and raises an eyebrow. Than make me understand it Brittany.
Brittany gazes into soft brown orbs sadness still clear in it and gulps thickly. Sam and I got into a horrific jet accident during our last mission, a jet from the enemies tried to take ours down in a suicidal act which would cause four lives but it only cost two thanks to a huge amount of luck and quick thinking.
She takes a deep breath as her hands tremble and licks her lips. I can't tell everything I already had to twice and it's just too hard but well after I managed to get the both of us out of the jet before the other crashed into us, we crashed down onto land and pieces of burning debris landed on top of us and around us.
Santana reaches out grasping both of her hands as they shake badly and easily intertwines their fingers ignoring the shivers moving up her own arms, she pulls Brittany closer and carefully wraps her arms around her shoulders silently telling her to stop.
She slowly pulls back as she feels her relax and frowns in concern. The both of you look okay, but how bad were your injuries?
Brittany exhales nervously and closes her eyes. I managed to cover most of Sam's body with my own so he only had a dislocated shoulder, a heavy concussion and a burn on his biceps.
Santana slowly reaches out slowly cupping her cheek and watches pain filled blue orbs slowly flutter open. And you?
Brittany gulps thickly fighting to keep their eyes locked and wipes away her tears. Three broken ribs, a bad concussion, dislocated shoulder, bruised spine, bruised legs and third degree burns on my back. She holds up a finger after gathering the courage and slowly slides out of her bed, she walks over to her closet calling Santana over with a come hither movement as she looks at her in confusion and turns her back to the mirror.
Santana walks over to her in confusion and her eyes widen as she sees Brittany reach for the hem of her shirt, she quickly shakes her head and reaches out to stop her.
Brittany also shakes her head and points at the mirror with her thumb. Look in the mirror.
Santana does as she is told and looks into the mirror watching Brittany pull her shirt up slowly, she gasps softly as she sees the angry red puckered skin coming into view and covers her mouth. ''Britt.''
Brittany just shakes her head closing her eyes as she hears the shock in Santana's voice and gulps thickly, she keeps her shirt up with one hand slowly lifting her head and looks at the woman in front of her tears clear in her eyes. Do you understand know why I told you that I am in no way a good environment for a child to be in? She angrily wipes away her tears dropping her shirt and sniffles.
I currently live on painkillers and zero of rest Santana, every time I try to sleep I wake up shortly after because of a nightmare. I have to go through therapy exposing more and more of the accident so my therapist can help me, people touching my back hurts like a mother fucker and my aunt has to rub in ointment every night so the skin doesn't dry out.
She pinches the bridge of her nose as tears stream down her face and bites back a sob. I flinch the second I see fire and try to fight the feeling to flee, currently I am fighting hard to keep sane but it gets more difficult every damn day because I am so damn tired of everything. Tired of getting no real rest, tired of the pain, just tired.
Santana's heart breaks as the blonde in front of her cries and she gulps thickly slowly stepping closer, she carefully wraps her arms around her waist placing her hands on the small of her back having seen no burns there and pulls her in her arms silently thanking god that she doesn't fight it.
She slowly leads her back to the bed helping her lay down and slides in beside her, she pulls her back in her arms and trails her fingers over the small of her back trying to console her.
Brittany nuzzles her face against Santana's shoulder completely ignoring the fact that she is showing way more weakness as planned and sniffles as a calming feeling overtakes her as she feels Santana's ministrations on her back.
Santana tilts her head as she feels Brittany nuzzle her face in her neck and feels her other hand come up balling her shirt up into her fist in a way to ground herself, she runs her free hand up the arm placed on her stomach and gently clasps her fingers around her wrist slowly running her thumb over the skin showing her that she won't leave her.