They popped back into existence in a familiar, brightly lit sitting room, falling hard on to the deep red… carpet? There was carpet now?

That was new.

A quick, cursory glance around the room showed her a lot more new, too. There was a frame on the wall containing a painted background (and nothing else), there was a new chandelier on the high, vaulted ceiling with little lion heads all around it holding candles- no, wait, those were bulbs. Since when did Grimmauld place have electricity? Lily tried to push off of the soft surface, but Katie was laying on top of her. Laying her head back in the soft carpet, she noticed there were lines of gold running through it.

"They're here!" a high, whiny voice shouted. Lily turned her head towards the sound. The previously empty picture frame was now filled with an old man with a long, gray beard, a black hat perched on his head. It was only then that Lily noticed the name 'Phineas Nigellus Black' engraved on the bottom. She opened her mouth to tell the prick to piss off, but before she could, there was running from down the hall.

"There you are," a familiar voice said, something pulling Katie's weight off of her back. "Do you have any idea how terrified we were?"

Lily rolled to her back immediately, her body starting to stiffen and become sore, to get a better look at the voice. Ashley was wearing a robe around her pyjamas, her hair tied up in a bun and her glasses missing. She had to squat awkwardly on her false leg to pull Katie up.

Lily opened her mouth to speak, only to find she couldn't. It wasn't like her normal times, where she was stunned by the beauty of a girl or just didn't know what to say (or the rare times she knew speaking would only result in greater trouble). She physically couldn't. Opening her mouth produced no sound what-so-ever. In fact, trying to do so hurt, and quite badly at that.

Ashley was walking Katie towards the couch, a hand perched protectively on her back, whispering something. Lily tried to clear her throat but that got her coughing, and when she brought her hand away from her lips, she was startled to find it speckled with blood.

"Lily," Ashley said, snapping her attention back to her. "Where's Sirius? Is he alright?"

Lily pointed to her throat, trying to communicate that something was wrong, and holding her blood palm up just to prove it. Ashley's face went pale, she took a single step, and then somebody was ringing the doorbell.

"Stay right there," Ashley said, forcing her to sit back down. "If you've splinched yourself, you'll make it worse by moving around."

Lily hopped to her feet the instant Ashley vanished around the corner, hurrying over to Katie's side.

"I believe you were told not to move," Phineas said. "I certainly do not miss the attitude of teenagers. Why, back in my day, I would have-"

Lily shot him a rude gesture and then ignored his subsequent tirade completely, focusing instead on Katie. The girl was staring at- well, nothing, really- on her seat, a look of confusion and despair lining her face. Lily tried to get her attention after sitting next to her, but that only got her coughing again, and she could hear steps rapidly advancing down the hallway.

"She's right in here," Ashley said, rounding the corner first, a disappointed look crossing her face at seeing Lily's new position.

"I tried to tell you," Phineas said smugly.

Sirius was right behind her, looking a mix of relieved and absolutely furious (and, Lily noticed, also wearing a robe over a set of pyjamas), Moody behind him, Pomfrey behind him, with Dumbledore and the Weasleys coming last (pushing their two wayward sons in front of them). She imagined the rest of the order was just out of view, and Pomfrey was hurrying over to her.

"What's she missing?" Pomfrey asked, using a hand to tilt Lily's chin to get a better view at her eyes.

"Vocal chords are gone," Moody said, running his eye over her body. "A small part of the liver, too." Moody lifted two fingers, a small gap held between them. "Appendix, too, but she can do without that. All lost somewhere in the Irish Sea, if I had to guess. Fish food at this point."

Splinched myself again, Lily thought, coughing again. She supposed it could have been much worse, considering the distance. She just wondered where exactly the bits of her dropped, if the Order couldn't find them at Bell Orchard.

"Nothing that can't be fixed," Pomfrey said with a tired sigh. "You're in for a rough couple of nights, Potter. Growing new organs is a nasty business. Drink this."

Lily eyed the puss coloured potion skeptically, but she wasn't really in a position to refuse. It was hard to get it down, considering she had very little control over her throat at the moment. That, and it seemed to cling to her insides; she could feel it travelling slowly down her digestive tract. She sat there, face twisted in revulsion, as she noticed a quiet conversation from the nearby Order members.

"Lucky Dumbledore thought she might risk it," Moody said.

"Lucky she didn't get herself killed," Mrs. Weasley countered, her eyes sharply on her husband talking with her sons across the room. "Lucky she didn't get them all killed. What were you thinking, Sirius?"

"Me?" Sirius said in disbelief, the hand he was running over his tired face pausing in shock.

"You were supposed to be watching over her!"

"Hard to do that when she's supposed to be sitting at school, isn't it?"
"You should have-"

"Quiet," Moody growled, both eyes locked on her. Lily quickly looked away, a bit of anger building inside her chest, but the game was definitely up; Sirius was coming towards her, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down and sitting next to her.

"You weren't supposed to be there, Lily," Sirius said, at least looking a lot more relieved when she stopped coughing up blood.
"No talking," Pomfrey said, flicking her lips lightly when she opened them to respond. "You can ask your questions later. Right now, Potter needs rest."

"Take her up to her room," Mrs. Weasley said, another flicker of rage coming over Sirius's face before disappearing again.

"We can question her later, once she can talk," Moody added, magic eye swiveling to Katie. "We have more pressing matters right now."

"Come on," Sirius said, grabbing her firmly by the shoulder and hauling her to her feet.

Sirius lead her to the stairs, keeping that hand on her shoulder, the entire way up, all the way to her room. The worst part was she could tell he was angry, but with her speech in the state it was, she simply had no way of explaining herself.

"I can't believe you, Lily," Sirius said with a sigh as he opened the door to her bedroom. "Just- just stay in here and get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

Lily opened her mouth to try and speak, mostly because she just couldn't help herself, but Sirius was already closing it in her face. She had a hard time sleeping that night, but when she tried to leave her room for some water or a bite to eat or something, she found her door wouldn't open (which was quite the feat, considering it was supposed to lock from the inside).

It took a lot of deep breathing to calm herself down; Sirius wasn't trying to keep her locked up like the Dursleys, she knew that much. They probably just thought she'd try sneaking out. It was just hard to remember that right now. She reached for her wand to at least unlock the door, only to find that it wasn't in her holster. That certainly did not help reduce her feeling of panic. She left the lights on as she laid in bed, if only to remind herself that she wasn't stuck in her cupboard.

Fuming, hungry, and thirsty, she finally managed to slip into uneasy dreams.

"You failed." she said, her quiet words carrying her fury across the room nonetheless. "Explain yourself, Quirinius."

"It is only a minor setback, my lord," Quirrell said, his head held low to avoid looking at her. "We still have Crouch and-"

"I did not ask when we will next have an opportunity," she said. "I asked why this one failed. And I am still waiting on the answer. Why is Harry Potter not in my possession?"

"My lord," Lucius began very carefully when Quirrell failed to answer. "We tied the wards into the boy's identity, so- we never detected him enter the property. We were lucky the Bell's put another ward on their daughter's door, or we never would have known she was there at all. Perhaps- perhaps it is time to reconsider our position. Perhaps if we tied it into the girl's-"

"Crucio," she said, lifting the wand with her weak hand. Despite her body's frailty, her power and will to conquer were enough to fuel the Unforgivable. Lucius's future wife looked on with vague, cloudy eyes, humming to herself softly, while the rest of his Death Eaters kneeled and refused to look beyond their own masks.

"The prophecy was not incorrect, Lucius," she said, finally lifting the curse when Lucius's screams turned to a low whine. "Dumbledore has disguised him, somehow. We need only find out how. Proceed with the plan as it was. Should Crouch fail, the Triwizard Champion will fuel my return, no matter who it is. If I must slay the boy myself afterwards, then so be it. I am a patient man. Dumbledore cannot keep him from me forever."

Her mouth was thick when she woke up, laying on her wonderful upstairs bed and staring upwards at Gwenog Jones. Her throat still felt a little raw, but the real pain came from the soreness she felt all throughout her abdomen, a rough stiffness in her insides that she wouldn't be able to deal with by her usual methods. She closed her eyes and let out a little groan when she couldn't bring herself to move.

"Rough night, then?" Sirius said from beside her.

"How long have you been sitting there?" Lily asked, her voice raspy and quiet, turning her head to the side and squinting into the light. Sirius was set up in armchair next to her, a little table on his left holding a cup of tea and the day's paper.

"All morning," Lupin said from across the room, sitting on her guest bed. "Despite the insistence of- well, everybody, really."

Lily had to stop herself from asking where he had been the whole time. She wasn't quite in the mood for it right after waking. Her mind immediately wandered to her door, which was still closed, but surely not locked tight. She could go, if she wanted to.

She took another deep breath; she wasn't locked up. Not if they were visiting her. She could just talk to Sirius later, ask him not to do that again. He'd get it, surely.

"Here," Sirius said, handing her his still-hot cup of tea. "You must be thirsty."

"Thanks," Lily said, gladly accepting it. It felt good between her hands. It was chilly in the room, when she wasn't under her thick blankets. "How long was I out?"

"Just the night," Sirius said. "Not too bad, considering you could have been killed."

Lily chose to ignore that and took a sip of her drink, enjoying how much better it made her throat feel.

"Where's Katie?" She couldn't help but notice that the other girl was not waiting in the room for her. She tried not to feel too offended about that, despite it being what she would have done.

"Sleeping, probably," Sirius said with a shrug. "She had a terrible day, and we didn't make it much better with all our questions."

"Is she alright?"

"No, I can't imagine she would be," Sirius said honestly. "I don't know if you noticed, Lily, but her entire life has just completely fallen apart over the course of a single week."

"Right," Lily said, her hand idly playing with the rings on her other. Then, she remembered something from the previous night. "Where's my wand?"

"I've got it upstairs," Sirius said awkwardly, picking up the paper from his side table. "That and the Cloak both."

"Can I have them back?" Lily asked, wondering why he paused for so long.

"No." Neither Sirius nor Lupin was looking at her.

"Come again?" Lily said. She tried to raise her voice a bit, only to find that her throat couldn't currently handle it.

"No," Sirius repeated.

"Why not?" Lily said angrily.

"We'll get to that," Lupin said reluctantly when Sirius didn't answer. "We're supposed to bring you downstairs when you woke. The Order has some questions for you."

"Just once, can't I wake up from a coma without needing to answer fifty questions?" Lily snapped.

"You weren't in a coma," Sirius said, setting his paper back down a bit too hard. "And you should be happy answering questions is all you have to do, after the stunt you pulled."

Lily clenched her jaw. "Somebody had to do something."

"All you had to do was be patient. You just had to-"

"Sirius," Lupin said calmly. "Perhaps now isn't the best time."

"Right," Sirius said, standing up. "Get up, then. Best to get this over with."

"But-"

"Don't argue, Lily," Sirius said, standing from his armchair. "I'll go let them know you're up."

"Right," Lily said, watching the man go and wishing he'd stayed. That feeling only intensified once Remus was taking his spot, crossing his legs and waiting expectantly.

"It has been a while," he said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," Lily said, crossing her arms and wishing her voice didn't still sound so hoarse.

"How have you been?" Remus asked, that familiar notepad on his lap. Lily eyed it, wondering why the sight of it made her so angry. "Holding up?"

"You'd know if you'd been answering my letters," Lily said spitefully, looking away from him and it, trying to focus on Gwenog Jones above her.

"Life has been busy," Remus said with a sigh. "It is not so easy to-"

"I wrote you dozens of times!" Lily said, deciding now seemed a good time to try shouting again, even if nothing changed in the last minute. "I needed your help, and you ignored me!"

"We had to keep things secret, Lily," Remus said carefully. "We couldn't risk our plans leaking."

"I'm not talking about Katie!" Lily said. "You haven't written back a single time since I asked you to hire some werewolves. Not once."

"I did not think you would be interested in the minutiae of running a bookstore," Lupin said carefully.
"Sirius still talked to me!" Lily countered. "He kept trying to keep me in the loop, but you- you couldn't even be bothered to send one letter!"

"Lily-"

"And I don't care," Lily said. "I just wanted to hear from you, but you couldn't even be bothered to come to the task!"

"I didn't think- I thought that you'd prefer it if Sirius were to-"

"I've been trying to talk to you for months," Lily said, her voice fading to a pained whine.

"Lily-"

"Just get out," Lily said dismissively, crossing her arms and pointedly turning her gaze back up towards Gwenog Jones. "You don't want to talk to me, so just leave."

"It's not that I don't want to-"

"Just go," Lily said more firmly, rolling to her side and staring at the wall instead. She was hoping he'd argue and keep going. She could feel she was close to giving in. She didn't want him to leave, she just wanted to vent and get an apology, especially after the lukewarm reception she was getting.

Her disappointment was immeasurable when Remus decided to take her at her word and leave the room without so much as an 'I'm sorry, we'll talk later.'

She was still completely fuming when the door opened once more and Sirius returned.

"Come on," he said, still sounding displeased. "They're ready for you."

Lily followed Sirius all the way downstairs, neither of them saying a single word. Now that she didn't feel like she was dying, she got a better look at the house. There were lights- real, Muggle lights- in every hallway, now, with switches for them at the ends. She could even see a few outlets. The floors were redone, no longer the expensive, tacky marble, the walls were painted and lined with photos and paintings, one of which displayed Sirius and her father working on a motorcycle together. Sirius's face softened a bit when he turned to see why she paused, finding her staring at it, and he was no longer quite as grumpy the rest of the way down.

It didn't occur to Lily as she looked around at the rest of the modernized place that she couldn't find a single sign of Kreacher; she was too busy wondering why there was a telly in the sitting room.

Sirius led her to the kitchen, where their large table was filled with Order members (and she did her best to ignore all the modern, chic appliances). Lupin, sitting in the back and avoiding her gaze (which only made her feel angrier about their little conversation). Moody, sitting at the head of the table and staring right at her. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, sitting next to Lupin (Mrs. Weasley still looking very irritated, with Mr. Weasley looking apologetic). Professor McGonagall was sitting next to Professor Snape, the Gryffindor with her lips pursed tight, the Slytherin looking like he'd never been so pleased to see her in so much trouble. Sirius, once he took his own seat right next to where she would be, his girlfriend noticeably absent (although Lily supposed she could just be at work).

"Dumbledore couldn't make it," Moody barked out before Lily could ask. "Minister is in his office right now, that aide of his demanding to know where you are."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Well, naturally, it'd be because a certain Hogwarts Champion failed to attend the Yule Ball," Moody said, drumming his fingers on the table, his magical eye swiveling to her empty chair in an unsubtle command for her to sit. "I can't say I blame his curiosity, although it certainly isn't coming from his worry about 'the girl losing her magic,' no matter how much he tries to sell it. Now-"

"Is Katie alright?" Lily asked, still standing and crossing her arms.

"We'll get to it," Moody said dismissively. "First-"

"We'll get to it now," Sirius corrected, patting Lily's chair, trying to give her another hint. "If you want her to answer your questions, Alastor, you really should answer hers, first. Can't get a thing out of her if she's angry. Merlin knows I've learned that lesson."

"Fine," Moody said begrudgingly. "Bell is fine, Potter. She's resting at the Burrow."

"The Burrow?" Lily repeated, finally sitting down. She did scoot a little further away from Sirius, though, just to remind him she was still angry.

"Bill is watching her," Mr. Weasley said when nobody else would. "Make sure she's safe and all that."

"There's no Fidelius on the Burrow," Lily said, hoping that was even still true. "What if they go for her?" Bill seemed good enough, but she doubted he could fight off a dozen Death Eaters by himself.

"They won't," Moody said.

"Come again?"

"Her parents aren't pressing charges," Moody continued. "In fact, they seem suspiciously cooperative with us. They've been moving quickly to get ahead of our story. They've renounced their parental rights and are claiming she's run away of her own freewill, aren't even trying to get her back. Not that they could if they wanted to, though. That'd open up an investigation, and as soon as the Ministry examines the girl's memories, it's all over for them. They've got no choice but to give her up if they want to stay cosied up with the Dark Lord."

"Oh," Lily said, her head swimming. "Err- but why the Burrow?"

Why not here?

Lily couldn't help but notice that not a single person was rushing to answer her question. In fact, quite a few of them were shifting uncomfortable in their seats. Lily was starting to get very angry again.

"What about the twins?" Mrs. Weasley asked to fill the silence. "Are they alright? Didn't think to ask about them?"

"Molly, now isn't the time to-"

"What's wrong with Fred and George?" Lily said snapped. "They seemed fine enough after."

"What's wrong with them is that you dragged them into danger," Mrs. Weasley said. "What were you thinking?"

"What?" Lily asked, blinking slowly. "I- it was their idea!"

"You all could have been killed!" Mrs. Weasley said shrilly. "You know better than to let those two take control! If you had just told them 'no,' they wouldn't have been able to get in, and they wouldn't have been there!"

"Molly-"

"And on top of all that, the car is gone!" Mrs. Weasley continued, her husband shrinking in his seat next to her. "The Ministry's found it, and if they find out Arthur's the one who enchanted it, he could be sacked! But not one of you thought of that before you went and stole it!"

Lily leaned back in her seat, too, although she crossed her arms and legs in defiance. She'd shout back in her defense if her throat didn't still hurt so bad. As it was, she was just wondering why a certain godfather of hers wasn't doing so on her behalf.

"Nobody thought to fly it back, then?" Lily finally said in a gravelly voice, refusing to accept any responsibility for the matter.

"Nobody even thought to tell us it was there," Moody answered. "Twins forgot all about it. We found out the hard way when the Ministry found it while investigating Tonks."

"Tonks?" Lily said, blinking slowly, noticing for the first time she wasn't sitting at the table.

"She's in Mungo's," Sirius said. "She'll be alright, but she took a nasty curse trying to fight her way to your wand, and now the Aurors are looking into how one of their own managed to get so grievously injured on what was supposed to be a day off."

"Oh," Lily said, trying not to feel too bad about it. "Err- what was she doing there, anyway?"

"It was her mission," Moody said. "She was there to retrieve the Bell girl and escort her safely out of the manor. Even loaned her my Invisibility Cloak to smuggle her out, but then when everything started going wrong, the rest of us were called in."

Lily supposed it was her fault that anything went wrong at all, and she was on the verge of apologizing for it when somebody else spoke up.

"Of course," Mrs. Weasley said first, "she wouldn't have been so hurt, either, if you hadn't been there."

"Alright, that's enough," Sirius snapped. "She's not yours, Molly. Lay off her."
"Somebody has to parent her, if you can't be bothered," Mrs. Weasley snapped right back. "This never would have happened in the first place if you hadn't insisted she leave our care."

"I seem to remember her breaking into the Chamber of Secrets under your care among other things, thank you," Sirius said. "But you don't see me screaming about it, do you?"

"And, yet," Snape said slowly, "under yours, she has encountered the Death Eaters no less than twice in the span of half a year. Curious, don't you think?"

"You stay out of it," Sirius said dangerously.

"Not only that," Snape continued unabated, "but she's also been entered into a deadly tournament under your undoubtedly 'stern' gaze. After being tortured by two boys and almost killed by a werewolf the first instant she met you. Why would anyone not doubt where your loyalties lie?"

"Is that right?" Sirius said coldly. "I suppose you've done so much better, then? Or have you forgotten what you almost made her do last year?"
"I believe that is also the fault of the werewolf," Snape said into the stewing silence.

"Don't pretend you care."

"My feelings on the matter don't matter," Snape said ruefully. "Dumbledore has placed her under my authority during the next term."

"What?" Lily piped up.

"Yes," Snape said in equal measures of disgust. "You will meet in my office once a week to review your behaviour and studies. Dumbledore also believes it prudent you renew your Occlumency, and, as such, we will be-"

"No," Lily said.

"Pardon?" Snape said, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not doing it."

"You have no choice in the matter."

"I don't care," Lily said firmly. "I'm not doing it."

"Where did we go so wrong?" Moody said in disbelief.

"You will. Dumbledore has decided that-"

"If Dumbledore wants it, he can do it himself," Lily spat. "I'm not spending a single second with you."

"Just had to ask some bloody questions," Moody said, shaking his head.

"You will."

"I won't. I'd rather-"

"Enough!" McGonagall snapped. "Both of you! Merlin, Severus, you're a professor. Perhaps you should stop acting like one of our more dramatic students. I will take charge of Miss Potter, and I will tell Dumbledore myself. Let us get the questioning underway so we can return to the school, yes?"

"Very well," Snape said, still glaring loathingly at Lily, who was returning the sentiment.

"Right," Moody said, perking right back up. "We've got the gist of it from Bell and the Weasleys, Potter, but we want to hear your end of it, too, just to get the full picture. Start from the beginning."

Lily did just that, grumbling the entire time and thinking this wasn't at all the way she expected this to go. Nobody seemed to get that all she wanted to do was make sure her girlfriend was safe; they seemed entirely preoccupied with her own safety. Moody perked up when she mentioned Lucius Malfoy talking with the strange man, asking a series of questions for an hour, well past when Lily's brain felt completely fried, and once her story lined back up with joining the twins, the questioning quickly came to an end.

"Right," Moody said, hopping from his seat. "I better report back to Dumbledore, he'll want to know about all of this so we can make some moves."

"Right," Lily said with a sigh as she stood.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sirius said, raising an eyebrow.

"Err-" Lily stammered, looking between the Order members. "Back to school?"

"Sorry, Potter," Moody said, clapping her on the shoulder. "If I had it my way, you'd go back right now, but I've been thoroughly outvoted on the matter."

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking straight towards Sirius, who was once again avoiding her gaze.

"You won't be returning until mid-January," Moody said, diving right into it and sinking her heart. "Officially, you're recovering from an injury at home, but you can consider this a suspension for your misbehaviour."

"Right," Lily said, clenching her jaw hard, her face burning at the victorious look on Snape's face.

"There's more," Moody said, glancing at her godfather, too, "but I'll leave Sirius to tell you."

Lily sat right back down, arms and legs crossed again, as the Order filtered out. Mrs. Weasley apologized for snapping and pulled her into a tight hug (that Lily did not reciprocate) before leaving, Mr. Weasley patted her on the shoulder, and Lupin looked like he wanted to but couldn't bring himself to try. In the end, she was left alone with her godfather, still sitting in the kitchen.

"Want some lunch?" he said, rising awkwardly.

"No," Lily said, ignoring how she was actually quite hungry.

Sirius ignored her and set about frying some eggs and bread, a kettle of tea going nearby. Only when the sandwiches were done and they both had a fresh cup did he sit back down next to her, chewing his own food quietly.

"Look," he said, sighing and setting it back down with only two bites taken. "I just want to-"

"Why can't I have my wand?" Lily interrupted, arms still crossed, sandwich and drink untouched.

"Lily-"

"It's mine."

"Lily," Sirius said more firmly. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"I saved Katie," Lily said, as if it was as simple as that.

"No, you didn't," Sirius corrected. "We saved her. All you did was put yourself and the twins into incredible danger. What you have to understand is-"

"You weren't doing anything!" Lily said. "I had to go!"

"I told you we were working on it, Lily," Sirius countered. "I told you to be patient, and that it'd all work out."

"You didn't tell me anything!"

"I couldn't!" Sirius said. "Lily, you know Skeeter's been stalking you, you know that if I said a single word about what we were planning that there was a good chance it'd get to her. I couldn't tell you anything! You just had to be patient and listen to me when I told you it was being handled."

Lily's leg started shaking, draped over her knee.

"Look," Sirius said, "I know you've got a saving people thing, but you have to be smarter than this, Lily."

"I do not have a 'saving people thing.' They were hurting her, and-"

"They weren't," Sirius said plainly. "They never laid a single hand on her. They never have. She told us that herself."

"They were going to sell her to Nott!"

"They laid a rumour that the two would be married to lure you out," Sirius said. "They thought that as soon as word hit your ears, you'd come running, but-"

"But nothing," Lily spat. "You weren't there, it wasn't a rumour, they were actually going to do it, Sirius!"

"It doesn't matter," Sirius said impatiently. "We were going to get her out. What matters is that you should have stayed out of it."

Lily clenched her jaw, her teeth straining under the pressure.

"Look," Sirius said again, taking another deep breath to calm himself. "Maybe you're right. Maybe she was in danger, but the Order agreed she needed be saved, and we were doing it. You shouldn't have been there."

"But-"

"I'm not angry, alright?" Sirius continued. "Not really. It's just- I worry about you, Lily. You can't keep putting yourself into danger like this. It's not healthy, and- well- I've been putting off this conversation for a while, Lily- and maybe I should have done earlier- but it's clear to me you've got some underlying issues. So- as part of your punishment, you'll be speaking to a therapist twice a week."

"I don't have issues," Lily said defensively.

"Perhaps that was the wrong word," Sirius said reluctantly. "I just- you need help, Lily. Dumbledore's picked the Healer himself, and he's agreed to fit you into his schedule- you'll like him, I've been seeing him myself since I got out of Azkaban."

"Not Lupin?" Lily said cruelly, remember her earlier conversation with the man.

"Lupin can't help you with your issues, Lily," Sirius said carefully. "I know he's been trying, but-"

"He hasn't. He's been ignoring me for-"

"But," Sirius continued, "he's always been like this. Sometimes, he gets it into his head that nobody wants him around, and he- well, he mopes, like he has been since you went back to school. He always gets over it in the end, but until he sorts through his own issues, he won't be able to help you."

"I'm not talking to Snape," Lily growled.

"It's not him," Sirius said. "Merlin, you think I'd be meeting with Snape at all? No, his name's Maraktis- you'll like him, I promise."

Lily stayed quiet, staring at her untouched sandwich.

"So I should have just left her there?" Lily said quietly.

"Of course not!" Sirius said. "But just because somebody is in danger doesn't mean you have to go. You're allowed to lean on others. You don't have to do everything on your own. You don't have to sacrifice yourself for others."

"I'm not trying to-"

"Please let me finish. I wasn't there to see most of it myself, Lily, but I've heard enough. You almost got yourself killed by a Basilisk for Hermione, you dueled four people at once and risked your wand for her, you kept throwing yourself at Lupin the next year to save her again, and at the World Cup you kept throwing yourself in front of spells so they wouldn't hit others. You almost died. Believe me, I'm proud as can be that you just want to help people, but- you shouldn't do it at the cost of your life. You need to be smarter about it."
Lily clenched her jaw and stayed silent.

"You need help, Lily," Sirius said, sighing again. "If you'll agree to it, and if you try, I promise, I'll give you your cloak back- along with your wand- when you head back to school."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you won't get either," Sirius said simply. "Your professors will hold on to your wand- you'll get it for classes and the tasks, and they'll let you use it for studying so long as you're with them- and you won't get the cloak back until the summer."

"That's not fair!" Lily said shrilly (or, at least, as shrilly as her voice would currently go).

"Tough," Sirius said sternly. "It's a punishment. You aren't supposed to like it. Until you can prove that you're capable of acting responsibly, you'll be treated like the child you are."

"But-"

"This isn't just about you almost dying, Lily," Sirius said. "So much could have gone wrong. So much is going wrong- there's a lot we're not allowed to tell you. Going into that manor, knowing everything that you did, is monumentally stupid."

"Dumbledore agreed!" Lily said. "He left me the 'secret' to give to Katie!"

"Dumbledore left it because he thought you might be stupid enough to go without permission," Sirius said. "He at least wanted you to have an exit route, just in case, but that does not mean he gave you permission- and, believe me, I'm plenty mad at him for not just forbidding you from the get-go."

"I was just trying to-"

"I know," Sirius said gently. "I know you were doing what you thought was right. But you're just fourteen. You can't just go running out on your own, you're going to get yourself killed if you keep going like this. You're going to get somebody else killed. You can ask for help, Lily. You can rely on others. You don't have to do everything yourself. You're not alone anymore."

Lily shrank in on herself slightly, chewing at her bottom lip.

"At the very least, you should have told me," Sirius continued. "I didn't want you there, but you know I would have gone right in with you if you'd insisted. I'm just trying to protect you."

Lily stared down at her food again, blinking away a light amount of stinging in her eyes.

"I know it's not fair," Sirius continued. "I know you hate all this- I know you don't want these people after you, but you shouldn't just throw yourself at them willingly."

"I just wanted to help," Lily said, her voice breaking slightly. "You should have told me. I- I wouldn't have done- if you'd told me, I would have stayed away."

"I know," Sirius said, placing a hand on one of her knees. "I'm not mad at you, Lily, I promise. Hell, I would have done the same thing at your age, but I just want you to be smarter than I was. I promised your parents I'd make sure you live a long, happy life, but I can't do that if you're fighting me every step of the way."

"Sorry," she said, feeling awfully stupid.

"Eat," Sirius said, gesturing to the sandwich again. "Then- err- I've 'rented out' a nearby gym. Owner will let us go in after hours, so we can practice your swimming."

Lily shifted in her seat uncomfortably.

"That part is nonnegotiable, too," Sirius said, pushing her plate closer to her. "You should have told me you couldn't swim. I mean, blimey, you had us running all over the place in the summer when I could have been sitting near a pool? Are you mad?"

"No," Lily said quietly.

"Eat," Sirius said again, pushing her plate even closer. "Hagrid gave me back my old bike the other day, now that I've got a place to put it. What say, after our swim, you and I go over it together, make sure it still runs? I'll even teach you to ride, if you want."

Lily raised her sandwich to her lips and took a bite, nodding along.

"Sorry," she said again, taking another bite.