This had been a long time coming. Despite reserving a large portion of his heart for Sasuke, Itachi had done a marvelous job of keeping his little brother at a distance. There was always something in his life that was too dangerous, too troublesome, or too much for his little brother to be burdened with. Itachi swirled his noodles and broth around in the takeout dish with his chopsticks, pondering the best way to begin.
"Despite already acknowledging your growth and strength, I still purposefully kept you at a distance. Not because I don't trust you, but because I never wished to burden you with my problems," Itachi spoke, his gaze trained on an arbitrary scallion floating through his broth.
"You always made my problems your own. Why can't it go both ways?" Sasuke asked, a bit of frustration slipping into his tone.
The corner of Itachi's mouth barely lifted. "You're right. Whether it was my wishes for your well-being, my own arrogance, or both, I restrained myself from seeking you out. I can only try harder to rely on you, Otouto."
"Arrogance?"
Sasuke was hanging off his every word, his ramen already forgotten. Sasuke was staring at him with wide, questioning eyes, doing a remarkable job of impersonating his younger self. A small part of Itachi was pleased to see that his adorable little brother hadn't lost all of his innocence yet. "I thought that I could take on all the burdens of the clan and the village, while protecting my precious people in the process. I was arrogant and wrong. Sasuke, you once called me perfect. I have to disagree with you. Perfection can never be obtained by one individual acting alone," Itachi said.
Itachi knew to never underestimate an opponent during battle. One miscalculation could cost you your life. Unfortunately, he hadn't put much thought into the dangers of overestimating his own strengths when he had been younger.
"The Yondaime stopped the coupe from happening-" Sasuke started, but Itachi cut him off.
"Not alone. Not even the Hokage is that powerful. Minato-sama often seeks council from those he trusts most. Relying on others- on their strengths- is what makes a shinobi and the village strong."
Itachi allowed Sasuke a few moments of quiet reflection before continuing, "In fact, I'm starting to believe that sometimes two people of completely opposite personalities- two sides of the same coin- can accomplish more together than they ever could separately," Itachi hinted. Itachi raised some noodles to his mouth as he waited for Sasuke to catch on, his gaze resting heavily on his little brother. When Sasuke continued to silently stare at his food, Itachi decided to give him a nudge, "How did Naruko-chan react when you spoke to her?"
"About my eyes? How do you think she reacted?" Sasuke asked rhetorically with a scoff. "I would have told her eventually. You didn't need to involve her."
His adorable, little brother could be very unhelpfully dense at times. Itachi held back a deep sigh. He chose not to physically react and instead replied, "While that wasn't what I had been referring to, I can't help but wonder… Would you have informed Naruko-chan of your deteriorating eyesight?"
Itachi wasn't surprised by the soft, "It wasn't her burden to bear" that Sasuke muttered.
Itachi could remember a time where he had reacted the same as Sasuke- shutting out those closest to him. He'd been unable to successfully bar Shisui from his burdens, but he'd been hellbent on keeping Izumi distanced from his problems. He'd rationalized it as necessary for her protection and peace of mind, but had only managed to hurt her with his lack of trust and honesty. "Learn from my mistakes, Sasuke," Itachi finally said. "That's what elder siblings are for after all."
The look that Sasuke gave him gave Itachi slight pause. Sasuke looked ready to debate the reality of Itachi ever making a mistake, but seemed to reconsider at the last second. Itachi was relieved to avoid having to hammer another lesson into his stubborn, adorable little brother's head.
After taking another bite of his cooling noodles, Itachi decided that it was time to broach more monumental topics. "Are you going to ask me what you really want to know?" Itachi asked. Out of the corner of his eyes, Itachi saw the way Sasuke tensed. He did his best not to read too much into his brother's response, but he couldn't help the sliver of dread that settled in his gut. Itachi knew that Sasuke craved a deeper insight into his older brother's life. Itachi had every intention to include his brother on more aspects of his life (anything that wasn't too personal, of course). But Itachi wondered how Sasuke would see him after learning the truth of what he was capable of.
"What…What did you do…with your Mangekyo? It looked like a genjutsu, but I've never seen you use a genjutsu so…" Sasuke said and left his sentence hanging.
Itachi chose to respond to his brother's slight trepidation with indifference. "When my Mangekyo Sharingan was awakened, Tsukuyomi took root in both of my eyes. You're right in that it's a genjutsu unlike any other that I've used. It allows me to trap the minds of others in a world of my own creation where I can alter their perception of time and reality."
Despite the slight widening of Sasuke's eyes, Itachi clutched onto his indifferent façade. "Like you, I am able to use Amaterasu. However, I am unable to shape it as you do," Itachi continued. "From what I can tell, my Susanoo is different from yours as well."
Itachi had thought that he'd had Sasuke's attention before, but that paled in comparison to the scrutiny that Sasuke was displaying. "I haven't been able to summon a full body Susanoo without putting strain on my body. But the one time that I had, my Susanoo wielded the Totsuka Blade and Yata Mirror," Itachi informed. At his brother's confused expression, Itachi went into further explanation of his Susanoo's abilities.
As he spoke, Itachi kept a close eye on Sasuke, cataloging his brother's micro expressions and unconscious reactions. Itachi felt like he was observing his final moments as Sasuke's beloved older brother. He waited for the other shoe to drop where Sasuke would look at him in fear, hatred, and possibly disgust. Itachi had done a decent job at disguising the darkness within him from his little brother. But if he was no longer going to keep Sasuke at a distance, it was only a matter of time before his brother saw him for what he truly was- a wrathful, violent, and merciless man.
When he finished speaking, Itachi lowered his eyes to his cold ramen, his stomach too heavy to even consider finishing his meal. Itachi impatiently waited for Sasuke to respond, somehow managing to keep his mask of indifference in place. When a soft "hn" was the only response he received from his younger brother, Itachi looked to Sasuke with a brow raised in question. Sasuke was staring down at his probably cold ramen, his brows furrowed and shoulders tense. Itachi didn't want to rush his brother but it the same time…
"Just when I was starting to think that I had caught up to you," Sasuke scoffed.
Itachi couldn't prevent a stunned expression from overtaking his face. His brain worked at over a hundred miles a minute, calculating and analyzing his brother's reaction in a matter of seconds. He hadn't intended to instill any feelings of jealousy or inadequacy in Sasuke by speaking to him, but he had still managed to do so. "Sasuke-" Itachi started, but Sasuke cut him off.
"Don't bother, Nii-san. I already know what you're going to say. Our eyes are a manifestation of our spirits or at least that's what Shisui told me. How can I hold your inherent abilities against you?" Sasuke said with an air of feigned nonchalance, but Itachi could see the frustration on Sasuke's face.
Itachi frowned. This was unexpected. "Sasuke," Itachi tried again, but Sasuke's emotions were practically rolling off him in waves as he cut Itachi off again.
"I already decided that I was going to get stronger for my own reasons, but I had still hoped that I'd be able to-" Sasuke said but quickly stopped short.
Blunt, direct warnings hadn't worked. Unobtrusive meddling had failed spectacularly. Itachi doubted that Sasuke would respond well to another indirect confrontation through Naruko. What else could he try to get through to his little brother? "Sasuke," Itachi said, his voice demanding attention. When he had Sasuke's full attention, Itachi asked, "Why do you crave strength?"
Sasuke raised a brow, his confusion on full display. "I…" Sasuke hesitated, his eyes quickly lowering to the floor. Itachi watched as Sasuke waged a short mental war before steeling his nerves. "It bothers me…how much weaker I am."
Itachi knew that he had to handle this conversation delicately. One wrong word and Sasuke would immediately shut down and whatever chance he had to influence his brother's path and mindset would be lost. "I thought you were no longer comparing our strengths. You made that quite clear to Tou-san," Itachi said.
"I decided not to train for his sake," Sasuke corrected, only slightly petulant. "Besides, you aren't my only goal."
Like a final, puzzle piece sliding into place, Itachi felt like he was finally beginning to understand. "I admire your need to protect and defend, but I don't think it should come at the expense of your better judgement and control. Power for the sake of revengewill only leave you hollow, Otouto. Trust me."
Spotting the unvoiced question in Sasuke's eyes, Itachi knew that he had some explaining to. "Shortly after joining the ANBU, I took on a mission with Shisui. The mission itself wasn't dangerous nor difficult until we were ambushed by a group of Iwa shinobi on our way back to the village. As much as we were hailed as gifted prodigies, we were both still children and were hampered by our physical capabilities," Itachi spoke, the memories flashing before his mind's eye as if it were yesterday.
He had been measuring his chakra usage carefully, but he hadn't expected their battle to last this long. Never one to complain, Itachi quickly took stock of their opposition. He hadn't expected Iwa shinobi to employ such a patient or calculated strategy, attacking both him and Shisui in waves to slowly wear them down and demoralize. Despite his best attempts to spot or sense just how many of them were lying in wait, his estimates had been far off.
A quick glance at Shisui ('Not Shisui, Crane!' he mentally chastised himself) told Itachi all that he needed to know. His cousin was slowly losing steam, taking on more opponents than necessary to spare Itachi from overexerting himself.
Itachi felt small seeds of frustration budding within him. Despite their similar titles and positions, Shisui still sometimes clung to his overprotective ways. Itachi knew that it was past trauma that dictated Shisui's actions, his fears of losing another friend in battle keeping him from straying too far or allowing anyone to get too close to Itachi. He'd have to speak with Shisui about it once they returned to the village.
Their battle had started about an hour after sundown yesterday. The sun was beginning to rise now, bringing warmth and light to the forest that had long since been vacated by any animal life. He could barely catch his breath anymore, the muscles in his limbs burned and screamed with exhaustion, and his average chakra reserves had dwindled far more than he was used to. But he could show no weakness. He was Uchiha Itachi of Konohagakure. But he was also Weasel- a mission-bound tool for his village. His size already gave away his age and relative lack of experience to his opposition. At the first sign of fatigue, they would pounce on him mercilessly like rabid animals.
He was aware of it less than a second after he had blundered. A small twitch- a flinch- upon sparking contact of his kunai with a kunoichi's blade. She barely outclassed him in weight and height, but she had been one of them to join the bout only minutes ago. A careless mistake somewhere around midnight had put strain on his wrist that he could tell that she planned to capitalize on based on the smug, knowing expression on her face. "Konoha is more heartless than I expected. Sending a child to their death," she sneered and increased the frequency of her strikes, all the while focusing on his right side.
Itachi was aware of the light and darkness within his village, but it was to be expected. The balance existed everywhere and in every person. It was an inescapable truth. Perhaps one day he would be able to look upon the world that knew peace- a world that drowned in light and only held specks of darkness. (Without darkness, how could one know light?)
It was pure obstinacy that kept him from crying out when an unexpectedly heavy blow had his wrist screaming and cracking. He had miscalculated her strength and paid the price. His sharingan had seen a second strike coming, but he'd only been able to raise one arm in time to block the blow that still managed to send him flying backwards. A quick kawarimi spared him from a possible concussion, but another shinobi- a man easily twice his size- was quick to intercept him. As if the man was nothing more than a savage brute, he raised a leg with every intention of stomping down onto him. With a practiced ease, Itachi pulled the man into a genjutsu that had him freezing in place. A quick swipe of his kunai across the man's neck later and he had increased his body count by one (not that he kept count of something so morbidly depressing anymore).
"You brat!" the kunoichi shouted and clasped her hands in the sign of the snake.
He would be ready for her this time. Armed with a better understanding of her strengths and speed, there would be no way for her to take advantage of his injury. His chakra was running low, but if his timing was perfect, he could dispatch of her as well. Itachi had already began gathering chakra behind his eyes to lace a genjutsu over the woman but paused at the sight of Crane's sudden interference. While he was grateful to be able to conserve chakra, he still felt a bit frustrated. His gleaming red eyes zeroed in on the kunoichi's dismembered hands that had fallen to the ground. Crane stood in front of him, ignoring the kunoichi's pained wails and raising his bloody tanto in defense.
Despite losing her hands, the kunoichi had no intention of backing down. She shot a look loaded with malice and fury at Crane before taking off towards him in a sprint. Her eyes screamed bloody murder, but Itachi doubted that there was much she could do without her hands. Itachi took an extra moment to catch his breath before drawing another kunai with his left hand. He'd leave her to Crane and refocus on the few remaining Iwa shinobi.
He had taken his eyes off them for only a few seconds- just long enough for him to work out a plan of attack to handle the two shinobi that Crane had abandoned in order to (unnecessarily) protect him. Those crucial seconds had ended with a strangled cry from his partner. The seals within his ANBU mask did an excellent job of disguising his voice, but Itachi swore that he could still hear traces of Shisui's voice hidden underneath. His breathing and heart had stopped, but his eyes had shot over to where he'd last seen his cousin only to widen fearfully.
The woman had somehow caught his cousin by surprise (had she been even faster than she had shown him before?) and was restraining him with her legs and bleeding arms. But it was the absolutely feral look in her eyes as she wrestled his cousin to the ground and spat bloody curses at him. "You took my hands. So, I'll take your throat!" the woman shouted, doing a remarkable job of sounding both deranged and vengeful.
Itachi would forever be ashamed to admit that he moved too late to stop her. Truthfully, he hadn't expected the kunoichi to viciously bite down on his cousin's neck, quickly drawing blood. His Sharingan let him see the gathering of earth and lightning chakra that was building in her mouth long before she had finished whatever jutsu she was using. In the back of his mind, a voice supplied him with information that he'd read about Iwagakure's Explosion Corps. But that voice was quickly silenced by the fear that shook his body. Although he couldn't see his cousin's face, the way Shisui suddenly froze spoke volumes. Itachi's shout of, "No!" had been drowned out by the semi-contained explosion.
While his Sharingan had forever imprinted the sight of Shisui's bleeding, immobile form on his brain, it was the putrid smell that made his stomach suddenly turn. Smoke and ash with hints of burnt metal.
"Tatsuo, you crazy bitch. Way to go overboard!" one of the men shouted.
The woman, Tatsuo, couldn't reply. She'd foolishly blown her jaw off in her attack, but the defiant gleam in her eye said it all. It was pointless to expect any repentance from an enemy. But she looked far too pleased that Shisui wasn't moving. Charred and covered in blood, she started to pitifully crawl away from his cousin's body. She didn't get far.
Before he'd even commanded his limbs to move, Itachi was standing in her path with Shisui's discarded tanto in his hand. "You're going to die," he told her, voice unnaturally even. Surely, she would have bled out from her wounds. But her punishment didn't suit her crime. As she struggled to lift her head, Itachi pierced her back and heart with the blade. He twisted the blade a few times before withdrawing it with a wet squelch. He would have set her body ablaze to return the favor, but he would need what little chakra he had remaining. Instead, he would have to be satisfied with severing her head from her body.
His eyes were burning in their sockets, but he didn't stop the flow of chakra. With Shisui's tanto still clutched in his hand, he crouched next to his cousin's body to inspect his injuries. Shisui would need immediate care, but the two, Iwa shinobi still poised for a fight took precedence. He'd needed to pace himself before, when there had been no end in sight to the battle. But Shisui's condition nagged at him.
With a level of efficiency that startled him, Itachi quickly closed in on the men with his superior speed. Slipping through the gaps they created between their bodies, Itachi targeted the men's vital areas with his kunai. He landed several cuts along their bodies, always remaining one step ahead. Achilles' tendons, femoral, and brachial arteries were all severed. He moved around them like a dance, setting both men up in the perfect position to target the back of their necks with his shuriken. Both men released a garbled cry as they fell, their bodies immobilized. Itachi hadn't waited to see them fall before he was rushing back to Shisui's side.
"Shisui," he couldn't help but call out.
"C…rane," Shisui struggled to chastise, his hand soaked in the blood still flowing from his wounds.
Itachi almost would have chuckled if he wasn't gripped with fear. "There isn't time to get you to a healer. You'll have to bear with me," Itachi said, doing his best to remember what little he knew of medical ninjutsu. Small hands faintly glowing green, Itachi did his best to save his cousin with what little chakra he had left. He'd just barely managed to stem the bleeding before he passed out.
"I wanted them all to suffer, even those that played no direct part in Shisui's injuries. For months after, I found myself acting inexplicably cruelly towards Iwagakure shinobi," Itachi finished.
Sasuke was quiet for some time before he said, "But they deserved it! They almost killed Shisui!"
"Sasuke," Itachi said, refraining from sighing. "We were at war. If both sides fight for their justice, then who is right? But that's beside the point, Otouto. My vengeance would have destroyed me. Not a day goes by where I don't fear that it still might. When you died, it almost did so again. The only thing that would have ended my need for retribution would have been my own death. Whether that death came at the hands of my enemies or my own didn't matter." Sasuke's mouth clicked shut as he stared at Itachi with an unreadable expression. "You asked me if I would kill for you. Despite my hatred of fighting and unnecessary violence, the answer is yes. Without question. If it would keep you safe, I would willingly die for you, Otouto."
"I don't want that!" Sasuke immediately exclaimed as he stood, his eyes wild and gleaming. Itachi silently stared his brother in the eye, watching for the moment everything sunk into place. Itachi saw the strained expression on Sasuke's face just before his brother fell back down onto his forgotten seat.
Voice ringing with finality, Itachi repeated, "Learn from my mistakes, Sasuke."
~:~
The next morning, Itachi was awoken by knocking on the other side of the hospital door. He'd finally managed to fall asleep sometime around one in the morning, too tired to converse with his little brother any longer. He didn't need to look over at the only seat in the room to know that Sasuke had already left. Hopefully, his brother was off doing some serious introspection.
When the door clicked open, Itachi pushed himself up in a seated position with a small smile. Itachi watched Sakura wheel Shisui into the room on a wheelchair and situate him at the side of his bed. Itachi heard the soft, irritated sucking of teeth as Sakura moved to clean up the empty takeout containers littering his bedside. "I'm sorry for the mess, Sakura-san," Itachi apologized.
"It's not your fault, Itachi-san. I don't know why I expected Sasuke-kun to clean up after himself," Sakura grumbled as she worked.
"Looks like I missed the party," Shisui remarked with an easy smile. Itachi noticed the way his cousin's eyes lingered on Sakura's form as she moved about the room, and he quickly flicked Shisui's cheek while her back was turned. At his cousin's affronted look, Itachi gave him an unamused look in return. At least Shisui had the decency to look a bit shameful.
"How are you feeling this morning, Itachi-san?" Sakura questioned as she approached him with clipboard in hand.
"Better. Thank you for asking, Sakura-san."
Like Sasuke had done yesterday, Shisui watched Sakura go through her examination. Thankfully, Shisui's gaze was much less critical and penetrative than his Otouto's had been. "I heard Sasuke nearly attacked a defenseless nurse yesterday," Shisui casually stated. Itachi closed his eyes with a sigh. "I can't say that I'm surprised. He tried to set my hair on fire when I told him that I was stronger than you."
"He was eight," Itachi defended. Shisui waved him off with an easy grin and Itachi felt his body relax at the sight. "I'm glad to see you in such good spirits."
"Of course! How could I not be when I have the world's best medical ninja taking care of me," Shisui said, turning a charming grin onto Sakura. Sakura looked up from where she was running a glowing, green hand along his chest to roll her eyes at his cousin. Despite the display of irritation, Itachi noticed the barely there smile on her lips.
"No lasting damage?" Itachi asked.
"Nah. I have another wicked scar to add to the collection, but that's about it. Soon, I'll be able to get around without this thing," Shisui said and pat his wheelchair. "I just hope someone brings me a pair of pants first. Can't have my innocence exposed for everyone to see."
Itachi's lips twitched. "Of course not," he agreed. Although Shisui was speaking to him, his cousin's eyes were practically glued to the pink-haired medic currently making notes to his file. "Has anyone come to visit you yet?" Itachi asked, keeping his tone casual.
The tiniest glimmer in Shisui's eyes signaled his understanding of Itachi's covert questioning. "I'm afraid I woke up only an hour ago, cousin. I wouldn't know if I had any sympathetic visitors shedding tears on my behalf," Shisui said with a wistful sigh. Shisui turned his wheelchair to try to meet Sakura's gaze, but the rosette was doing an admirable job of ignoring him. "How I envy you, Itachi. I'm sure Izumi-chan is already preparing a feast of all your favorite meals for when you return home," Shisui continued with his gaze still locked on Sakura. Itachi didn't let the disappointment show on his face. Shisui hadn't seen Izumi either. Was she still being interrogated?
"I'm sure that you're more than capable of preparing your own meals, Shisui-san," Sakura stated in a purely professional tone.
"Not at the moment. I'm nothing more than an invalid. I can't even bathe myself!" Shisui exclaimed dramatically. Itachi contemplated how much effort it would take to remove his cousin from the room until Sakura finished her duties. Despite her earlier professionalism, Itachi saw Sakura's slight flinch and tensing of her shoulders. Shisui must have noticed as well because he suddenly looked far too pleased with himself. Itachi was now contemplating how to get them both out of his room.
"Shisui-san-" Sakura started, but Shisui cut her off.
"Just Shisui is fine, Sakura."
Sakura's cheeks gained a deep flush, her mouth opening and closing wordlessly. She looked both irritated and frustrated by Shisui's words. But there was an underlying spark of interest in the way her pupils dilated slightly and the pulse point at her neck started to flutter. Fortunately for Sakura, she was saved from having to respond by someone suddenly pushing their way into the room. Shizune scanned the room quickly before giving Sakura an exasperated look. "Sasuke is upstairs again. He wants to speak to you," Shizune informed in a strained voice.
"What does he-" Sakura started.
"Want was an under exaggeration. He demanded to speak to you right away. He's making things difficult for the staff. Please tend to him before I have him removed," Shizune said and left the room as quickly as she came. Sakura sighed deeply with an irritated tick to her brow.
"I apologize for my brother, Sakura-san."
"I'll handle him," Sakura said with her fists clenched and a displeased frown on her agitated face. Itachi and Shisui watched her leave the room, the clack of her heels echoing after her.
"She cracked the tiles," Shisui observed with a silent swoon. Itachi sent a silent pray up to heavens for his brother and Shisui's sakes.
~:~
Itachi stared and stared some more. After Shisui had been wheeled away by a much calmer Shizune, Mikoto had taken his place at Itachi's bedside. She'd brought a basket of fruits, sweets, and his favorite foods, but Itachi hadn't been able to take his eyes off her face. His vision was slightly blurred due to his mangekyo, but he could pick up the changes in her appearance since the last time that he saw her. The bags under her eyes had doubled in size, her pink nose looked like it had been rubbed raw, and her eyes looked a tad puffy. Although she hummed softly to herself as she peeled and cut an apple for him, Itachi observed the way her hands shook slightly. When the knife barely slipped from her grip, not enough to cut herself but enough for him to notice, Itachi reached out a hand to stop her.
Mikoto looked up at him in surprise. "You're not hungry? Sakura-chan said that your appetite may decrease. Would you like something else? Maybe something easier to keep down…" she started muttering to herself as she put the apple to the side and started searching through her basket.
"Kaa-san," Itachi called out softly.
"I know that you like sweets, but maybe they were a bad idea. They can't be good for you anymore…"
"Kaa-san," Itachi said, raising his voice slightly to get her attention.
"Hmm?" Mikoto hummed, her head snapping up and causing the low bun that she had her hair in to jostle and loosen. "Oh!" she exclaimed and started fussing with her hair. "I was in a bit of a rush this morning, Itachi. I wanted to make sure that I had enough time to visit you and your father. And Shisui's awake now. I have to see him as well. Your brother didn't come home last night. I have to make sure that he eats and gets some rest," she finished in a mutter as her hands uselessly smoothed her stray hairs.
"When was the last time that you got some rest?" Itachi gently questioned.
Mikoto gave him the same soft smile that she used to when he had been a boy and said something that amused her. "Last night of course. Kushina gave me some tea to help me sleep and it had me right out," his mother said.
"You look like you haven't slept in days, Kaa-san," Itachi pointed out bluntly. It would do no good to beat around the bush. "You were crying last night."
The forced smile slowly fell from her face as Mikoto sighed. "I knew I wouldn't be able to fool you, Itachi. You've always been so observant."
"What else is troubling you, Kaa-san?" Itachi asked. He knew his mother. She was strong, stern, gentle, and a force to be reckoned with when she took charge. She would bend, but never break. But the women sitting before him looked so very close to breaking.
"I can't help but feel that I played some part in all of this. Our family has been falling apart for months. I did my best to keep everything together but it all managed to collapse anyway. Just when I thought that things were improving, the curse spread to the rest of the clan and now it has infected the village. I can see it in the way others watch us when we walk about the streets. The whispers are worse now than they were ten years ago.
"I saw what the clan, the village, and your father's expectations did to you, Itachi. You were a shinobi, but you were just a boy back then. A boy expected to take on the weight of mistakes made by men. I wanted to protect you and Sasuke. I made a promise to myself to never again allow things to fall apart the way they did before. But I failed. I failed and I have no idea how to go about repairing the damage that's been done," his mother finished, tears gathering in her dark eyes that refused to fall.
"As cliché as it sounds, none of this was your fault, Kaa-san. The clan chose to harbor its ill feelings for over a decade. You were not in control of their actions. You were and are in even less control of the village. You can't control how others will see us or what they'll say," Itachi said, giving his mother a sad look.
"You may be right, but it doesn't change the fact that I had direct control over our family. I saw the way that Fugaku treated you and Sasuke. I could have done more to make him see-"
"Father's actions were his own choice," Itachi interrupted sharply.
"And my inaction was mine," Mikoto argued softly and hung her head. "Your father survived this ordeal, but you may not. A parent should never have to bury a child. Of course, I knew that this was always a possibility, but I never imagined that death would be staring us all in the face so soon. I fear our family would never recover if we lost you. It would have broken us if we had permanently lost Sasuke."
Itachi knew that losing his mother or father would have the same result. Their family needed his mother's loving and patient spirit. Despite his often-misguided efforts, Itachi knew that his father was an irreplaceable piece of their puzzle. His strong hand was the pillar that helped ground and stabilize them.
"You take on too much, Kaa-san. Tou-san is still alive to help you. Our situation would most likely never return to normal, but he still has an opportunity to make things better. I know that Sasuke would do anything for you. Despite his best efforts to distance himself from his emotions, he's highly attached to his precious people. My life may be ending sooner than any of us would like, but I will do whatever I can with the time I have left," Itachi promised.
Mikoto perked up slowly, a genuine smile sliding onto her face. She quickly wiped at her eyes as she exhaled deeply. "You guard your emotions so tightly, Itachi. But you're just as caring and sensitive as Sasuke," Mikoto said. Itachi liked to think that they learned it from her. "I ran into Ikeda-san in the village today. She gave me so many homemade treats for you and Sasuke. She was very grateful to your brother for saving her life when the Akatsuki attacked the village. Since Sasuke doesn't care for sweets, I suppose you'll have to eat his share," Mikoto said and started pulling more food from her basket. Itachi eyed the tri-colored dango, hakuto jelly, mochi, and namagashi that his mother laid out for him. Some of his glee must have leaked through because his mother let out a delighted giggle.
~:~
Itachi was turning the last page of his book when he heard three, soft knocks on the door to his room. Due to the chakra suppressors that were etched into every corner of the room, he was once again unable to determine who was visiting him. It was a chore to constantly remind himself that he didn't need to be on guard as hidden away as he was, but old habits died hard.
Sakura pushed the door open but gestured for another to go ahead. A silent breath of relief left him at the sight of Izumi's equally relieved face as she rushed past Sakura. "Itachi," she said in a soft voice, her hands cupping his cheeks as she examined him. He was so focused on Izumi that Itachi barely noticed Sakura quietly closing the door as she left.
"I'm glad you're alright," he replied.
Izumi chuckled once with a few tears gathering in her eyes. "I don't think my health is the biggest concern right now."
"It is mine," Itachi firmly stated. Izumi gave him a strained look. They didn't often argue, but their self-sacrificing natures often clashed and caused conflict. Itachi was of the mindset that his health and happiness were far outweighed in their importance by the well-being of his loved ones and the stability of his village. Izumi usually understood his logic and rarely questioned him once he explained himself. But she could never agree with him on this matter. She could never choose the village or even herself over her loved ones.
"That's not fair. You're trying to distract me with romance and sincerity," Izumi softly complained, a light dusting of pink on her cheeks.
"I was only stating fact," Itachi pointed out.
Izumi quickly wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. "That just makes it even worse," she whined.
Itachi released a breathy exhale that could almost pass for a laugh. The light warmth that filled him whenever Izumi was near did a decent job of distracting him from reality. Her chakra wasn't grand or dense, but he equated its presence to a sense of home. But he knew that if he let himself sink too deeply into her comforts, it would make the upcoming discussion even harder. "Izumi," he spoke and eased out of her arms.
"What's wrong? Has something else happened?" she asked, her eyes inspecting him intensely.
"You can't argue this time. Reality has made sure of that," Itachi started. He still remembered how adamantly she stuck by him the first time he'd been diagnosed. Before Izumi could get a word out, Itachi interrupted her, "I'm dying, Izumi."
"Do you really think that now is the time for this? We each spent days not knowing the other's condition. We should have a few moments of peace."
"I do not have many moments left," Itachi said. It was harsh to force this on her now, but he had to make her see. His mother and Shisui had been in denial when they had learned, but he'd eventually been able to make them see logic. He knew that they still hadn't truly accepted his impending death, but they kept their denials and feelings to themselves. Itachi wasn't sure if he would be able to acheive the same, hesitant acceptance from Izumi, much less Sasuke.
"Sakura-san explained your condition to me. There's really nothing we can do? Maybe there's a healer outside of the village who has experience with this," Izumi suggested.
"I doubt that there is enough time to find them," Itachi rejected with his mind on the pile of bloodied tissues he'd accumulated over the past few days.
Izumi stared at him for some time. Her eyes moved over his face, probably taking in his exhausted expression, paler than normal skin, and far too lean frame. "You want me to accept this like you have, but I can't," she said. All her energy seemed to leave her at once when she plopped down onto the seat at his bedside.
"You will."
She looked ready to argue with him but stopped herself short. "I've never wished for genius more in my life than right now. I want to fight this, but I don't know what can be done."
"All the genius in the world can't prevent fate from doing as it sees fit," Itachi soothed.
"How can you be so okay with this? You're always so calm and levelheaded, but this is..." Izumi trailed off with her arms gesticulating fruitlessly.
"I'm a shinobi. I've made peace with the fact that I may die at any moment. I have my regrets as anyother person facing death, but I think that I can leave what I've left unfinished for my comrades. I have faith in them," Itachi replied.
Sasuke was strong enough to protect himself, his precious people, and the village. Despite the clan's actions, his brother had once been seen as a hero of Konoha. Based on their last conversation, Itachi was sure that he'd given his brother enough to consider and possibly change his mind set on vengeance for good. His parents would live out the rest of their days together. Shisui had faced death and survived yet again. Izumi would be free to live the rest of her life as she saw fit. Eventually, his clan's reputation would be repaired with all of them still alive and in the village to help repair it.
Izumi rising from her seat broke him out of his reverie. She was desperately trying not to cry, but a few tears managed to spill over. Before he could wipe them away, she quickly did so herself with a sniffle. He had accepted his fate, but it still wreaked havoc on his heart to see those he loved suffer in grief. Wordlessly, he scooted over in his small, hospital bed to make space for her. Without hesitation, she climbed in and took her place at his side. "This sucks," she said softly in a watery voice. Itachi gave another single exhale/chuckle.
~:~
Sasuke had returned to his bedside just before sundown. His adorable little brother had been led by a mildly annoyed Shizune, but it was the stack of books and precariously balanced scrolls in Sasuke's hands that drew Itachi's attention. Shizune had quickly left them alone, probably still remembering his brother's less than polite behavior that morning. Once the door had clicked shut behind her, Itachi questioned, "A bit of light reading, Otouto?"
Sasuke shot his brother a quick look of annoyance before dumping the books on his bed, narrowly missing Itachi's outstretched legs. "I went to the library and checked out everything that I could find to help us."
"With?" Itachi prompted with a raised brow.
"We're going to fix you, Nii-san," Sasuke said as if it were obvious. Itachi's lips twitched downward in a barely-there frown. Sasuke hadn't noticed however, too busy laying out the books and scrolls all over Itachi's bed. "I know that you can't use your sharingan to help you memorize, but I can still use mine. You'll just have to read the old-fashioned way."
"Sasuke," Itachi started gently. "I'm sure that if there were a cure hidden in these pages, Sakura-san would have already considered it."
It was Sasuke's turn to frown. "Sakura doesn't get it, Nii-san. If you…died," Sasuke struggled to get the word out. Itachi refrained from correcting the "if" to "when". Sasuke continued, "It wouldn't mean much to her. She doesn't have anything to lose. It's your life. You're my brother."
"Sasuke, while I appreciate the effort, I don't think that this is wise."
Itachi could see the exact moment that Sasuke's hope started to diminish. "You sound like you've already given up," Sasuke accused.
"I choose to accept what is instead of chasing what could be."
"I hope you don't expect me to do the same," Sasuke said, his eyes narrowed.
Itachi sighed softly. He didn't want Sasuke pursuing a pipe dream. Death had been nipping at his heels for years. While he'd been able to put some distance between them before, his good fortune was running out. Honestly, Itachi could feel satisfied with the amount of time he'd been given.
With a final, disappointed huff, Sasuke grabbed a book and roughly plopped down on the seat next to his bed. "Give up if you want. I'll fight for you by myself if I have to," Sasuke said with his sharingan spinning before burying his nose in his book.
Itachi silently stared at Sasuke quickly read through his book. Itachi wondered if Sasuke had addressed his thoughts with Sakura or Shizune. Surely, they would have tried to talk sense into his little brother. Itachi nearly chastised himself. His foolish little brother was far too obstinate to let something like logic and reality impede him. Itachi sighed. "If you did manage to find a cure, it would be pointless. My eyes are straining and weakening my body," Itachi started. Even when he wasn't using his Mangekyo, Itachi could still feel migraines and phantom pains behind his eyes.
Sasuke hesitated for a moment before turning a page in his book. "You won't talk me out of this, Itachi," Sasuke promised.
"You misunderstand me yet again, Sasuke. I know that your persistence and stubbornness won't allow you to let this go," Itachi smirked. "When you awakened the Mangekyo, I spent some time reading the old texts and documents that were stored under Naka Shrine. I wanted to understand exactly what was going on with you and your eyes.
"There were several documented cases of Uchiha going blind due to overuse of their Mangekyo. It was believed to be an inevitable side effect of the increase in power until Uchiha Madara," Itachi explained.
"Him again?" Sasuke mumbled. "What does he have to do with me?"
Itachi raised a questioning brow. "Nothing specifically as far as I'm aware. But Uchiha Madara was the first to solve the mystery of our eyes. He gained the ability to use the perfect Susanoo with less cost and strain on the body. Most importantly, he was able to preserve the light in his eyes."
"You knew about this the whole time? Why didn't you say something sooner? What did Madara do?" Sasuke asked urgently. Itachi frowned deeply at Sasuke.
"He stole his brother's eyes."
~:~
Moi-Moi: Shisui must have the power of immortality or something. The man CAN NOT die. Kind of makes you wonder if his good luck will run out...
I really struggled with Mikoto and Izumi's characters this chapter. I worried that I was making them too vulnerable. Were all the clan stuff and dying family members enough to make these women who were trained Shinobi break down or let their cracks deepen? In the end, I figured that vulnerability is normal. Just because several characters rarely or never cried on the show, that doesn't mean that that was ideal or even healthy. So, let everybody cry! Maybe not on a mission though.
Sasuke wasn't the star this chapter but he was still wilding in the background. Love to hate and hate to love that ball of angst.