Hope's Hope

Seeing that entire compound crumble to the ground, made the group of seven stare in horror. Thomas nor Brenda had ever made it across the zipline, so that meant that they were either dead underneath the rubble… or had somehow made it out. Of course, they were each praying for the latter. Although, Thomas always seemed to be getting out of seemingly impossible situations, so he'd probably (hopefully) gotten out of this one. Moreover, he'd protect Brenda under any costs: Thomas would never leave anyone behind even if he barely knew them. Moreover, Brenda was pretty good at defending herself, so Thomas had an even better chance at surviving… Right? Or… was this all merely ways of making them feel better? As the group ran away from that fallen compound, knowing that WICKED could find them at any moment, the group kept replaying all the reasons that Thomas and Brenda were still alive.

Thomas had crazy luck.

Brenda was a badass.

Thomas had crazy luck.

Brenda was a badass.

They weren't dead.

They were alive.

They… had to be.

Regardless of the hopeful denial, however, the group was completely silent. At first, running away from WICKED made them unable to speak to each other. But after being able to get a good distance away, and finally being able to walk again, they still did not speak. There was a somber mood surrounding the group, and the night sky didn't help. It was not only dark up above, but within the group as well; a deep anxiety was surrounding each of them, making them unable to mutter a single word. And as they walked through the desert, following the silently raging Jorge, that aura of anxiety only got worse. Naturally, Hope felt this anxiety too. Almost more than the rest due to her empathetic heart. However, despite her scarred heart, Brenda had done something to Hope. That girl had given Hope the ability to want to try again.

"I know your story," Brenda had said, "and I don't hate you."

So, while the sun started rising over the horizon, Hope started to think. What could she do to possibly lift everyone's spirits? Or, in a much less difficult way, what could she do to distract everyone? Herself as well. What was there to talk about? What was there to say? Honestly, Hope looked like a crazy person while she walked toward the back of the group: her facial expression was changing every second. Hope merely didn't have an answer. Well, she didn't have an answer until…

"Aris…?" Hope noticed something is Aris' hands. She had just noticed him staring down at an object in his hand, and since Hope couldn't fully see it, she sped up to walk beside him. "What's this?"

"O-Oh, it's…" Aris was slightly taken aback by the abrupt question. "It's a little… wooden… man."

"'A wooden man'?" Hope restated, her eyes starting to sparkle. And upon seeing her sincere curiosity, Aris lifted up his hand to give Hope his creation. The girl immediately took it, her eyes now sparking more, and started to examine it. Its head was made out of an acorn, his limbs were sticks, and his clothes were pieces of leaf. There was even a tiny smiley face on the acorn-head, which made Hope ten times-more amazed. "W-Wow… This is so cute, Aris!"

"Wait! Can I see, too?" Chuck chimed in. And when he walked over to stand beside Hope, she showed the young boy the wooden man. It made Chuck quite starry-eyed as well. "Woah… This is so cool, Aris! When'd you make this?"

"I used to make 'em all the time back in my Maze," Aris started explaining. "I didn't talk a lot, so I had a lot of time to myself. I kinda just… started making these things on instinct… Or I just needed something to distract myself with. I don't know." Then, a warm smile spread across his face. "I actually made so many of them that I couldn't keep them all with me. They were piling up, so I just started putting them in places. Up in the trees or down on the ground - anything worked. Nobody noticed until… There were these two girls, Harriet and Sonya, that found them one day. And since they hadn't started appearing since I entered the Maze, they realized pretty quickly that it was me. They loved them, though. Every time they found one of these, they'd smile. They were always so… excited."

"That's sweet…" Hope mused, placing the leafman back into Aris' hand. "Were Harriet and Sonya the girls you were closest to?"

Aris nodded. "Mhm."

"...Hmm." Quietly, Hope let out a noise of confusion. She didn't know why, but the name 'Sonya' sounded oddly… familiar. Furthermore, it almost felt like she'd said it before a long, long time ago. However, what Chuck said next snapped Hope out from her thoughts.

"I have a little man, too!" Chuck beamed proudly. He took his own little man out from his pocket, walked around Hope to stand beside Aris, and showed the other boy his creation. "I made mine with wood, though."

"Nice," Aris said. "Why'd you make yours? Instinct or…?"

"I… made it for my parents," Chuck stated, his bright smile turning almost sad. "I-I don't remember them or anything. I just wanna… I don't know why, but I wanna show them that I did something. I made something."

"Yeah… I get what you're saying…" Aris agreed. "Making something, and being good at making something, makes you feel good. It makes you feel like… your hard work wasn't for nothing."

"Definitely," Chuck chirped. "See? I knew we'd be good friends, Aris."

"Awe," Hope gushed after seeing Aris look away bashfully. "You're right, Chuck. You two do make great friends."

"...Though, I gotta ask." All of a sudden, Minho's voice interjected and he turned around in the middle of his walk. And while he continued walking backwards, Minho gave Aris a puzzled stare. "What were your girlfriends like?"

"M-My what?!" For the first time, Aris' voice was loud. "What are you-?!"

"No, I agree with Minho," Frypan acknowledged, walking back to walk on the other side of Hope. "What was it like being in a Maze full of girls?"

Teresa looked behind her shoulder. "Were any of them your girlfriends?"

"At least one of them had to be!" Chuck remarked. "Aris is such a charming guy!"

"Uhm, guys…" Hope gulped. "I-I don't think-"

"N-None of them were my girlfriends, okay?!" Aris barked with his face completely red. "We were just friends! Friends!"

"There is no way," Minho argued. "You had to at least like one of them, right?"

"Even if I did 'like' one of them, what makes you think that-"

"So you did like one of them!" Frypan continued to banter despite Aris' bewilderment. "C'mon, who was it? Was it this Harriet girl? Or Sasha?"

"I'm pretty sure it was Sonya, Fry!" Newt yelled from the front of the group. "And judging by the way he told that story, Harriet and Sonya were most definitely at the top of his list!"

"At the top of what list?!" Aris yelped. "G-Guys, please! Harriet and Sonya were my friends! Nothing more, nothing less!"

Regardless of the boys pestering the poor Aris, Hope had to smile as she watched the scene unfold. She felt relieved that - just a little - the mood had changed into a less somber one. More so, seeing Aris being a part of the group, made Hope feel even better. She did worry that the quiet boy would have a hard time adjusting to the group, but it seemed that the others already had that covered. Chuck especially. It made Hope's heart soar as she watched Chuck interact with someone closer to his age; she knew that he'd struggled with being the younger one, but now that he'd met Aris (who also made wooden men just like Chuck), Hope knew that Chuck would be fine. He now had someone that he didn't need to prove himself to. Chuck merely had someone to enjoy his time with. And Aris, however much he tried to hide it, obviously liked Chuck back. It was equally adorable and amazing to see.

"I hate to break up the bantering," Jorge's voice abruptly cut in, "but we're going to have to pause it for now. We're almost at our destination, and they don't take kindly to loud children."

Minho turned back around to walk forward. "Where are we going exactly?"

"We're going to find the man who will help us get to the Right Arm," Jorge explained. But the next time he spoke, his tone was much, much darker. "And, hopefully, we will meet Brenda and Thomas there as well. Merely keep your heads down, don't talk to anyone, and don't do anything stupid."

"Yeah," Frypan scoffed, "because we're so good at that."

"...Mmm." Beside Hope, Hugo let out a worried noise. "Mph."

"I know, buddy, I know," Hope sighed as she scratched behind his ear. "We'll see them again. We have to."

By then, the sun had found its way up into the blue sky. It was going to be a bright, sunny day.

It wasn't a large city, yet it was large enough to feel alien to the teenagers. Most of the buildings were still upright, which didn't mean they looked nice: some of the structure had crumbled to the ground, but at least there was part of the roof still up! It was sort of livable compared to the other piles of rocks the teenagers had seen. Let's just say it wasn't a nice-looking city, but it was better than the "usual". There were a lot of people within it, too. They were mingling outside, selling things on the dusty streets, and looked like they were simply living their day-to-day lives. It was obvious they didn't have a lot of money, and it was painfully obvious that they'd been thrown away by WICKED, but those people had made a life for themselves. Maybe not a luxurious one, maybe not even a happy one. Still, they were alive.

Though, it seemed that they didn't take it lightly to outsiders: each and every person the group passed had either a glare or a creepy smile on their face. Thus, the moment that the group entered the city, Jorge ushered them into an abandoned building. He led them up to the second floor, which had a huge hole in the floor, but it did have enough of a floor to make a large room. A few large rooms, actually. As Hope examined the rooms, she'd take a guess that this used to be some sort of apartment. There was even some furniture left within the couple rooms, and a lot of the boys sat down on the couch or the chairs the second their eyes caught hold of them. However, unluckily for a few of those boys, they'd have to stand back up.

"Minho, Frypan," Jorge said while he readied one of his guns. "I need you two to come with me. Brenda knows that this city is our rendezvous point, so we need to go find her… And I will probably need backup."

"Works for me." Minho shrugged, sitting up from the couch. "Do I get a gun?"

"Um, why can't Newt do it? Or Aris?" Frypan questioned with a nervous gulp. "I'm not not really… a fighter."

"Newt needs to stay here and guard while we're away," Jorge explained and then threw the gun toward Minho, who caught it flawlessly. Likewise, Jorge took out two more guns from his bag. "I don't know how long we'll be gone for, but can you handle that, hermano?"

Newt nodded. "Definitely."

"Good," Jorge said, throwing another gun to Newt. "We'll be back soon. Don't leave this building."

Therefore, Jorge, Minho, and Frypan left the building, leaving only five of the teenagers to remain. Almost immediately, Chuck started snoring on the couch while Hugo became his honorary teddy bear; and Aris, who was sitting beside the sleeping boy, also started dozing off as well. The three oldest smiled upon seeing the innocent sight, feeling glad that the two could finally rest. It had been a long night for everyone, and if anyone deserved to sleep, it'd be those two. They were so young, yet had been through so much. It was equally sad and inspiring to see.

"Hope," Teresa suddenly spoke up. "Since we have time, do you want me to check over your wound?"

Hope blinked in surprise. "I-It wouldn't be a bother?"

"Of course not. C'mon." Teresa directed Hope toward a room to their left. "This one has a door. It'll be quick, I promise."

"O-Okay… Thank you," Hope beamed. However, before she followed Teresa into that room, she showed Newt one last look. "Are you gonna be okay out here?"

"Definitely," Newt said once more, putting the gun into his back pocket. "Just worry about yourself, Hope."

In response, Hope showed him a small smile before turning back around. Click! The door went after Teresa closed it behind Hope, and in the corner of the room, they both noticed a comfy-looking chair sitting there. Guilelessly, the two girls strode over to that chair, knowing what would come next. And although Hope was anxious, she slipped off her shirt. But instead of putting it down, Hope wrapped it around her arms to hide her scars. Furthermore, despite her having a bra on, Hope moved her arms to cover that same bra. Hope knew she was strange, but… she couldn't help it.

Nonetheless, now that Hope was ready, the girl turned around to sit herself down onto the chair. Teresa, knowing this to be her cue, stepped forward and then kneeled down in front of Hope. Slowly and carefully, Teresa peeled off the tape surrounding the bandage before taking off the layers of cloth themselves. It was merely a square-shaped bandage, which made sense since it was only a bullet wound. Still, Hope did not want to look at it.

"Holy crap… This bullet was inches away from hitting your heart…" Teresa cringed after she started examining the wound. "You're one lucky girl, Hope."

"D-Does it look like it's healing?" Hope questioned. "Or… Please don't tell me it's infected or anything."

"It's not infected," Teresa stated with a shake of her head. "It looks like WICKED used some sort of glue instead of an actual string… And I'm guessing, with how advanced WICKED is medically, that nothing gets through that glue. Plus, the skin is already starting to heal together again - I think all I need to do is get you another bandage and we're good."

"That's a relief…" Hope let out the breath she'd been holding in. Likewise, Teresa took out another bandage from her backpack (she'd taken it from the same building the backpack came from) and stuck it onto Hope's wound. It was a cheap bandage that was basically a large sticker, but it worked for the time being. Hope was glad for that fact. "Thanks, Teresa."

"Pfft," Teresa snickered. "I didn't really do anything."

"…Hey, you went out of your way to help me," Hope chirped once she'd put back on her shirt. "I believe that deserves a thank you."

"If… If you say so…" Teresa mumbled before standing back up. Then, with her bag fully packed again, she slipped it onto her back. "Let's just go back into the other room. I'm guessing Newt's dying without-"

"Teresa." Right as Teresa walked past her, Hope stopped her. "Is there something going on?"

"...What do you mean?" Teresa asked, not turning around yet feeling Hope's eyes on her back. "There's nothing… There's nothing going on?"

"Did you remember something?" Hope furthered her questioning. "Something sad?"

Teresa took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"Your eyes… have been distant and sad. You're not the same girl from the Maze anymore. And it's because of your memories, isn't it? You remembered something sad. Something from your past… is haunting you."

"'Haunting' me?"

"It's possessing you. It's… changing you."

"I don't… I just…"

"Just know that I'm here for you," Hope ultimately admitted. "We all are. If you're in pain, we're in pain. If you need us, we'll be right there."

No.

No, but…

"But nobody was there for you when you needed us," Teresa abruptly stated, causing Hope's eyes to slowly widen. "So why should I want the same from you?"

"Th-That's…" It was Hope's turn to stutter. "Teresa, do you-"

Knock, knock! Just then, someone knocked on the door. Newt's voice followed right after.

"Hey, girls! You doin' okay in- Oh, uh, hi."

"We're finished," Teresa answered after walking over and snapping open the door. Furthermore, she walked around Newt without a second though. "C'ya."

"Uhhh…" Newt watched Teresa walk away with complete confusion in his eyes. "Did something… happ…en?"

When Newt turned back around, however, his question faded away the moment he saw Hope's face. His eyes switched from puzzled to concerned, while his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. Hope looked… She looked shocked, but also so very afraid. And knowing Hope, Newt knew that she would prefer that no one would see her current expression. Thus, Newt took a step inside the room before shutting the door behind him. He then walked up to the girl staring down at the ground, leaning down slightly to gaze up into her eyes.

"Hope," Newt whispered out her name. "What happened?"

An abrupt question formed in Hope's head. "…Can I ask you a question?"

"A question?"

"Yeah."

"Sure, I guess."

"What is it like… to lean on someone?" Hope closed her eyes. "Because I can't imagine it… I can't even… fathom it. D-Does it feel liberating? Freeing? Joyous? Isn't it supposed to help? It's supposed to help you, and yet… it hurts. In here, whenever I think about leaning on someone, I just feel… dirty."

'Dirty': that word stuck out to Newt. It made his back straighten, and his heart hurt even more in his chest. What did that mean: 'dirty'? Obviously, Newt knew what the word "dirty" meant, but… Somehow, Newt understood that that "dirty" wasn't what Hope was trying to convey. She was trying to convey something deeper. Something darker. No, Hope didn't mean that she felt physically dirty. She meant that… she felt mentally dirty - she felt ugly inside and out.

"Hope…" Newt's hands clenched into fists. "You're not dirty."

"I-I just don't understand," Hope whimpered. "I thought… I thought it was wrong of me to… wanna… lean on people. That I don't deserve to be honest or open about myself… S-So why… Why do I want to do it?" A tear fell down from Hope's brown eye. "And does that… make me a bad person?"

Those words… Once more, those self-loathing words left Hope's mouth and were heard by Newt's ears. He heard them loud and clear, yet nothing about what she said was loud or clear at all. There were quiet voices within her head that whispered terrible things; there were clouds surrounding her heart that were slowly rotting it away. Standing before Newt was a girl that had been through too much. She had endured something horrible, and she hadn't escaped it. Hope was trapped within her own mind, while her heart was being stabbed by it. But worst of all - the epiphany that made Newt the saddest - was that Hope had been the person to clear and free everyone else's mind and heart. She had been the one they all leaned on, yet she deprived herself of the same in return. It didn't matter if she had no one to lean on, because if she could help someone else, then that was enough for her. However, it was… The more Newt thought about it, he…

It was so foolish.

As the sun peeked through the windows, Newt realized how foolish it was.

Everyone else's pain, plus her own, was weighing her down, and she couldn't carry all that weight. Not forever, at least.

Still, Hope had thought she could handle it. She thought that her already broken mind and heart could handle everyone else's shattered mind and heart. All alone no less.

Yes, it was oh-so foolish of Hope to think she could do it all alone. It was foolish of her to deny herself the same kindness she gave out.

And it made Newt… love her all the more for it.

"When I told you… about how I got my limp, I was more afraid than I've ever been." Upon hearing that single sentence leave Newt's mouth, Hope's eyes reopened. "But I told you - I pushed that bloody fear aside - because it wasn't fair that I knew your pain, but you hadn't known mine. It was unfair to you. It was unfair to keep my pain a secret when yours wasn't… Though, I was only telling myself that so I would feel better about myself." A sad smile crossed his features. "What I tried to do in the Maze… What I tried to end… It always made me feel like a coward. Like I wasn't strong. L-Like I was weak. But then… Then I saw you flinch away from me, and that… that made me feel weaker than I'd ever felt before. Though, that 'weakness' made me realize something. It made me realize that… I'd rather tell you my weaknesses than lose you. I'd rather lose everything than lose you, Hope."

Hearing this, a lump formed in Hope's throat.

"So I don't care what you're keeping from us." Regardless, Newt continued. "I don't care who you are. I don't care that you can't "need me". I don't care about what other people say. I'm not going to let you go, Hope. I'm not, and do you know why?"

Shakily, Hope shook her head.

"Because when I leaned on you, when I lost everything, you gave me everything," Newt proclaimed. "You accepted me for what I couldn't, and you made me feel happier than I've ever been. You did that, Hope. You made me happy, and you have saved me more times than I can count. You've saved all of us, so we would be more than glad if you allowed us to save you. You're not alone. You're our hope, and… we love you."

"You have nothing! You have no one!"

Mara…

"You're the one with no potential or hope!"

All this time…

"You're the one that's going to be alone forever!"

Was Mara…

"Unloved, unloved, UNLOVED!"

Was Mara wrong about something else?

But if she was, then… were there other things?

The question was scary to Hope, but…

It also felt liberating.

Freeing.

Joyous.

Hope felt…

"It's okay to give into emotion, Hope."

Ava.

"Let yourself be free."

Hope took a deep breath.

"Let yourself be open."

She then moved her eyes away from the ground.

"Because, if you do that, other people will follow."

Hope looked up into Newt's eyes, lifted her hand, and placed it against his cheek.

"If you're hurt, I'm hurt," Hope muttered while she used her thumb to stroke the cut underneath Newt's eye, "right?"

"Yeah," Newt breathed, placing his hand over Hope's and leaning into her touch. "You would do the same for us."

Hearing that, Hope thought back to being in the Maze. She recalled, when Newt first learned about her nightmares, how her main reason for not fully rejecting him was realizing that she'd be a hypocrite if she did. If Newt was having nightmares, or any of the other boys, Hope wouldn't give up or walk away from them. She'd fight for them and help in any way she could. Moreover, those same boys had confided in her. They had admitted some of their darkest secrets, and yet Hope had stayed silent. If Hope put herself in her friends' shoes, and not Mara's, then she had an entirely different perspective. Hope didn't see the world through Mara's desolate eyes, she saw the world through her friends' hopeful ones. No, Hope saw the world through the eyes of that girl she'd been in the Maze.

Hope thought she could never be happy, but… she had been happy. She remembered those happy moments in the Glade: she remembered the happy and the sad moments. But even if there were those sad moments, Hope was happy to have lived them. She was happy. From the bottom of her heart, Hope was happy. Newt had pulled her away from Mara's clutches, proving to Hope that the "impossible" was possible. That her world hadn't been all darkness and despair. That, even though her past was full of sadness, there were moments that were truly worth living. Newt gave Hope the courage to face her past instead of running away from it. And Mara had been wrong before, so… so should she risk it? Should she risk everything on a whim?

No.

No, this wasn't on a whim.

Staring up into Newt's eyes, Hope had her answer.

Yes.

Yes, Newt was Hope's hope.

"We got 'em! We got 'em!" All of a sudden, Jorge's voice boomed into the room on the other side of the door. "Tie him up and put the kid over there! Now!"

It was time to face the world.

A/N: For the seven people who saw those, like, five random sentences at the end of the last chapter, those were actually my notes. XD I was in a rush, so my dumb-self I totally forgot to delete them. Each chapter I have notes at the bottom for the next chapter or the future chapters; you know, so I don't forget anything. But, thankfully, I didn't spoil anything too bad, since every note I had was about this chapter and what was going to happen in this chapter. However, for those who actually saw them before I deleted them, think of them like a little eXcUsIvE TrAiLeR for this chapter. And if you have no idea about what I'm talking about, then it never happened. And this random author's note? It's not here. What are you even reading? There's nothing to read! Why are you still here? :+(

Have a nice day, though. :+) And thanks for reading! ;+)