The Truth

As Thomas dreamt, the pictures were blurry.

"Teresa!" But Thomas knew his own voice.

"Hey!" And Teresa's voice.

"Did anyone see you come here?" Thomas' voice echoed.

"No?" Teresa's voice was bewildered. "What're you talking about?"

"Look, we don't have a lot of time." He sounded worried.

"Thomas, what's wrong?" So did she.

"I-I just had to see you, and try to explain things before-"

There was someone searching for him.

"Hey, Thomas! What's-"

So Thomas had to hide the two of them.

"Just listen to me, okay?" Thomas had done something. "Whatever they tell you about me, whatever they say, I just need you to know I had to do it."

Teresa's bewilderment tripled. "What did you do?"

"I just…" Thomas was at his breaking point. "I just couldn't keep watching them die."

That was the last time Thomas saw Teresa before the Maze.

He had betrayed WICKED, but he couldn't betray his friends any longer.

Seeing them die, seeing them go through so much pain, made Thomas feel uncontrollable guilt.

He had watched them suffer for far too long.

"We saw what you did back there."

And…

"What were you trying to do, huh?"

And Thomas knew he was no hero.

"Trying to escape?"

Not only had he done horrible things…

"What makes you think you deserve it?"

He had said terrible things, too.

"What makes you so special?"

Terrible, horrible things.

"And if you wanna leave so badly, then… then go ahead!"

As Thomas dreamt, the pictures may have been blurry.

"I-I wish you'd just disappear!"

But Thomas knew what he had said.

"I wish you'd just disappear from this world!"

He heard them crystal clear.

"You're selfish! You're so freaking selfish!"

Thomas had called her selfish.

Thomas had told his own sister to disappear.

And that sin… was powerful enough to make him whip awake.

"Hey, hey You're okay!" The moment Teresa saw Thomas' eyes snap open, she placed a reassuring hand on his chest. Likewise, seeing Thomas' eyes, Teresa couldn't stop herself from smiling. "Hi… We have to stop meeting like this."

Seeing Teresa's brown eyes, Thomas' deep and uneven breath slowly started to even out. There was sunlight peeking through the windows, and the place he was laying wasn't exactly comfortable. But despite the blazing light and the uncomfortableness, Thomas was glad to know he had gotten out of that mess alive. Getting totally drunk, having terrible visions, having worse dreams, and then passing out was not how Thomas envisioned finding his friends would go. Still, he was glad they'd found him, because if they hadn't, Thomas didn't know what would have happened to him. Those visions of his friends dying were bad enough… And then those dreams… Again, Thomas was lucky to have found his friends, but he didn't necessarily feel good. He felt gross, and Minho certainly didn't help with that.

"Welcome back," Minho leaned over to show Thomas a smirk, "you ugly shank."

"Tch," Thomas clicked his tongue, yet it was more of a snicker than anything. Regardless of the fatigue, however, Thomas woozily sat himself up. And, of course, there was something that he needed answered. "Hey. Where are-"

"I suggest you talk!" Jorge's pissed-off voice suddenly barked. "You son of a bitch!"

"H-Holy crap!" Chuck let out a yelp when Jorge sucker-punched the guy tied up to a chair. "That is so gross, man!"

"I agree with the kid," the tied-up man stated. His face was bloody, bruised, and almost unrecognizable. Though, Thomas could still tell who he was: he was the guy who persuaded him and Brenda to get drunk. "Now, will you please leave my city? This is disgusting behavior."

"Look, I don't enjoy hurting you," Jorge said with a shake of his head. "Just tell us where the Right Arm is, Marcus."

"Wait," Thomas finally chimed in. He had stood up and started walking closer to Jorge. "This is Marcus?"

"Haha!" Marcus let out an unpleasant laugh. "The kid catches on quick. Hey! Are you the brains of the oper- Gah!"

"I know you know where they're hiding," Jorge growled after pulling Marcus' hair to make the man look back at him. "So you tell me, and I'll make you a deal… You can come with us."

Marcus let out another one of his laughs. "I burned that bridge a long time ago. Besides, I made my own deal. You're the one who taught me never to miss an opportunity."

"What's he talkin' about?" Behind Jorge, Newt had asked his question. The question led Jorge to move his body slightly to the left to look at Newt, but it also allowed Marcus to see something he hadn't been able to before. On the same couch that Newt was sitting on, Hope was sitting right next to him, her eyes downcasted to the ground. And those eyes of hers… Marcus couldn't stop himself from smiling. He'd know that blue and brown-eyed girl anywhere.

"I'm talking about supply and demand!" Marcus started up again. "WICKED wants all the immunes they can get; I help provide that for them. So I lure the kids in, they get drunk, have a good time… And then, later, WICKED comes in to separate the wheat from the chaff… Heh, but it seems you, Jorge, have found yourself a diamond!"

When Marcus' eyes squared on Hope, everyone in the room slowly turned toward her as well. Some had confusion in their eyes, some had anger, while Hope's eyes went wide with surprise. Her hand stopped petting Hugo's soft head, and her head moved upward to stare into Marcus' amused eye (the other was just a bruise at this point). Furthermore, once she saw that Marcus was actually staring at her, Hope's disbelief turned into acceptance. If he was looking at her, then he was truly talking about her. And that… that terrified Hope. She wanted to believe that, maybe, he was talking about someone else. But, of course, it had to have been her. It had to have been.

"Where'd you find her, Jorge?" Marcus questioned. "Tell me: Did Ava Paige finally throw her away or is she still of worth to her? I'm honestly hoping for the latter. Do you know how much Ava Paige's favorite would go for?" Everyone's eyes widened upon hearing that. "She'd be worth thousands. I wouldn't have to work for years!"

"Ava…" Frypan smiled a weary smile. "Ava Paige's what?"

"Wait. Don't tell me you don't know." For the first time, Marcus' own smile wavered. He was truly shocked to hear this information. "This girl is… She was basically raised by-"

"Don't," Hope snapped. Her tone wasn't necessarily threatening, but it was just kind of… sad. "Please, don't."

"No, Hope," Jorge's eyes bore straight into Hope's, "these kids really do not know? They don't know who you are?"

"What the heck are you guys going on about?" Minho asked, his eyes finding Hope's scared ones. "Hope… What are they talking about?"

"Oh, this is rich! Rich!" Marcus suddenly started yelling merrily before Hope could say anything. "I mean, it makes sense that you wouldn't want to tell them. You were always that woman's favorite little thing, and aaall the other children lived in cells while you lived in luxury. We've all suffered out here, while you thrived in there. So tell me - truly, tell me - what makes you special enough to believe you deserve to be saved? You may be the diamond, but you don't deserve to be treated as one."

The truth.

The truth was scary.

Especially when it came from someone else's lips.

"I changed my mind, hermano." While Hope was frozen with pain, Jorge's voice cut through the tension. "I do enjoy hurting you."

BAM! But even as Jorge knocked over Marcus' chair, continuing to torture the man, Hope couldn't pay any attention to it. She could feel her friends' gazes on her, and she could equally feel their bafflement and disbelief. There was no reason for them to believe that stranger's words, but Hope's eyes were filled with too much misery. If he was lying, then Hope wouldn't have been reacting like this. Moreover, she didn't argue against Marcus or say that he was wrong. She merely sat there and took it, so that was where the bafflement turned into disbelief. Then, the disbelief turned into bafflement again.

But not all of them were feeling that way: Teresa and Brenda just felt bad for the poor girl, while Thomas felt the same way Hope was. Staring into her eyes, Thomas could feel exactly what she was feeling. He knew what it was like to face the unkind truth, as much as he knew how hard it was to admit it to others. Hope's and Thomas' past may have been different, yet they brought forth the same type of guilt and fear. Thomas nor Hope wanted to accept their pasts, but those same pasts had finally caught up to them. They couldn't run anymore. It was time to face their pasts by admitting the unkind truth.

It was a miracle that the group had gotten hold of a car so that they didn't have to walk anymore. It was a miracle that Jorge was able to completely dismantle the back of the truck so the group of ten could all fit into it. It was a complete miracle that those teenagers had survived for this long. However, that car, the seating arrangement, and the fact that they were alive prompted the current scene to transpire. Jorge was driving the car, while Brenda was sitting in the passenger seat; in the back of the truck, there were no seats, just an open and flat area. This made the eight teenagers in the back have to sit close to one another, four on one side, four on the other. Hugo was lying on Hope's lap, Fry sitting on one side of her and Chuck on the other - Aris sat on the other side of Chuck. Thomas was straight across from her, Minho and Newt sitting on either side of him - Teresa sat on the other side of Newt. And for the exception of Jorge and Brenda, everyone's eyes never left Hope. As they drove, there was so much beautiful scenery around them, yet none of them ever so glanced at it.

Hope knew that they were waiting for an explanation. She knew that they deserved one, too. Again, she had made no act to argue against Marcus' words, so there was no reason for them to not believe them. And Hope bet that her expression said everything. Nonetheless, the two nice things about the situation were the air hitting her face and the sound of the truck driving. Either thing was able to soothe Hope's mind enough so that she could think. So that she could think over what to say. Obviously, she knew what to say, just not how to say it.

"After they learn who you truly are, they will never look at you the same again."

Once again, Mara's voice invaded Hope's mind.

"They will hate you as much as they did back then."

But, once again, it didn't hurt her as bad.

"I was jealous."

Frypan.

"I felt… worthless."

Chuck.

"Nobody needs me to talk to them… or for me to even show up."

Minho.

"You have made my time here… not so horrible."

Thomas.

"I don't understand…"

Teresa.

"Look after them for me."

Even Alby…

"I-I got this for you."

And Gally…

"Don't look so sad…"

Winton, too.

"And I jumped off it."

Newt especially.

All of them had given Hope something precious.

They had trusted their hearts to her.

It was time for Hope to trust her heart to them.

"I know your past, and I don't hate you."

Brenda had given Hope strength.

"You're our hope, and… we love you."

Newt had given Hope hope.

"Unloved, unloved, UNLOVED."

Hope had to have hope in her friends the way they had had hope in her.

"I don't know why they did it," Hope started, "but WICKED allowed me to remember my past. And although it was quite recent that this happened, it seems that everyone else has known for a long time now. They know who I am. They know my past. They know who knows me. I never wanted to know who I was, but it seems that I can't run from myself anymore. That I can't run from my past, either, however much I so dearly want to. And I'm ashamed that I haven't had the courage to tell you all the truth." Hope took a shaky breath in and out. "S-So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being selfish and lying for so long… You each deserved better than that, so… I know what I have to do now. I have to stop running."

Hope was ready. "When I was younger, I got in trouble with WICKED. I… I had tried to escape, which is something they obviously didn't want me doing. I was taken into a room; a small room with a table and a couple chairs. There was this man, who… who was in there with me. He was angry. He was yelling at me. And he… he hurt me. I didn't think he'd ever stop hurting me, so… so when Ava Paige came into the room… I was relieved." Hope's eyes were staring at nothing. Naturally, her eyes had to be looking at something, but… Hope didn't see it. She could only see her past. "Ava took me away from that room and that man. She took me far, far away from anyone else. So far that I never saw any of the other children again. I… was taken to… Ava took me to her home…

"And Marcus was right: I did live in luxury." Saying this, Hope turned her head toward the sky above. It was blue. There weren't any clouds. The sun was shining. "I had good food, I had a nice bed, and I had anything and everything I wanted. Unlike you all, who had to live with the bare minimum, I was living like I was special. Like I was better than you all. Ava Paige taught me everything I know, and however much it pains me to admit this, she did raise me. Your enemy… is who helped make me the person I am today. Who I am… is thanks to her."

Although the truck driving and the wind were loud distractions, everyone heard Hope's voice loud and clear. They even heard the guilt in her voice with each word she spoke. However, the next thing that that girl said, the tone of guilt turned into a tone of utter despair. "I-I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart, that it took me so long to tell you the truth. I was scared… I'm a coward… I just… I just didn't want you guys to… to h-hate me the way I do. And if you… If you want to throw me out, throw me away, then I'm perfectly fine with that. I know I don't deserve freedom. I-I know I don't deserve to be saved, so… you can stop the car right now, throw me out, and drive away. I'd totally understand if you wanted that."

But before anyone else could say anything, Thomas whipped his head toward Jorge driving the car. He didn't need to think; he was an instinctual person, after all. "Stop the car!"

"Wait, what?!" Jorge shouted. "Hermano, you're not-"

"Stop the car, Jorge," Thomas spat. "Or I will just jump off of it with her."

"…Thomas," Newt muttered the boy's name, "what are you doing?"

"Yeah, dude…" Frypan shook his head. "You can't seriously be…"

"Thomas, you can't!" Chuck cut in. "No, no, no, you shouldn't be- Hey!"

The moment that the car was almost at a stop, Thomas grabbed onto Hope's wrist and yanked her up onto her feet. He then pulled the accepting girl off of the trunk - the not so accepting teenagers standing up as well - before walking a few meters away from the truck itself. As they walked down the street, Hope could only stare at Thomas' broad back, her acceptance of the situation never faltering. There was no confusion in Hope's mind: she knew what was about to happen. Thomas was going to throw her away, exactly like Mara had said he would. At least Hope didn't take the selfish way out. At least…

"You're so freaking selfish!"

At least, after this situation had ended, she'd never have to hear Thomas say that to her again.

"I wish you'd just disappear!"

And at least he'd gotten his wish.

"I wish you'd just disappear from this world!"

So when Thomas finally stopped walking, Hope could only smile.

"…You're lying." When Thomas said this surprising thing, however, that same smile fell. "Why are you trying to make yourself look like the bad guy? I don't deserve your sympathy, Hope."

"W-What…?" Hope stuttered while their friends ran up to stand behind her. "Thomas, what're you-"

"You got in trouble with WICKED because of us!" Thomas barked, whipping his body around to fully face Hope. So now, with Thomas' deadly eyes staring down into Hope's, the group of teenagers and one adult (plus Hope herself) watched the scene with shock in their eyes. "I remember too, Hope! I-I remember when Alby, Newt, and Minho brought us to that exit! And I remember how you took the fall for us! You got in trouble so we wouldn't have to! And then… A-And then, they… they erased our memories of you."

A feeling of dread washed over Hope as she stared up into Thomas' angry yet pained eyes. She didn't want him to feel this way. He was suffering, and Hope wanted to soothe that suffering. "Thomas… Thomas, please, it's-"

"Hope!" Thomas interrupted the girl once more. "Hope, no! You can't keep acting like you're the only one to blame! Like you're some sort of horrible, disgusting person! B-Because if there is a horrible, disgusting person here, it's me! It's me, Hope, because I told you… I-I told my…" Tears formed in Thomas' eyes, making Hope's heart stop beating. "I did see you again… I saw you again after Ava Paige took you, and I… I don't want you to disappear, Hope. I wanted to stay with you forever, because you're… you're my sister."

Thump, thump, thump!

A part of Hope's heart unlocked.

Thump, thump!

For so long it had been dormant. Dead almost.

Thump!

But it was now alive.

Thump.

And the feeling of freedom made Hope want to cry.

"Y-You…" In response to the intense emotions, Hope was unable to not take a step back. "You don't want me to… You know…"

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for what I said to you," Thomas apologized, taking a step back from Hope himself. He merely felt so shameful that it felt almost wrong to stand near her. "I was an idiot - a jealous, selfish idiot. Even if I didn't remember who you were, I shouldn't have said that to you. I should have accepted you, instead of rejecting you. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry." A tear fell down his cheek. "So if there is any reason that you wanna throw me out, I get it. I deserve it. And if you… If you don't want me… as your brother anymore, I get that too. I'm terrible. I'm ter-"

For the first time in over ten years, Hope initiated a hug. Not the Hope that initiated that hug with Newt, but the entirety of Hope. She was the one who stepped forward, opened up her arms, and then wrapped those same arms around someone else. Before this, Hope didn't understand hugs: she didn't understand why anyone would want to hug her. And the feeling of someone's embrace, the feeling of someone holding her so softly, was so very alien to the girl. Hope could take slaps, punches, cruel words, but she could not handle a hug. Nor did she know how to give one. But with Thomas - with her twin brother - it felt natural. Not only because of the siblingship, but also because Hope needed to give him one. Seeing him look so sad, and seeing him look extremely guilty, made Hope unable to stay still. She didn't like seeing this boy in pain. She could feel his pain without even trying. More so, Hope knew what it felt like to feel so ashamed that you felt like trash. Like you were dispensable. And Hope didn't want Thomas to feel that way.

It hurt too much.

"It's okay," Hope whispered into Thomas' ear, tightening her arms wrapped around his neck. "It's okay, Thomas."

"No, it's not…" Thomas muttered. "I-I said… I said…"

"I know you said those things, but… If it's forgiveness you need, then I'll give it to you."

"I don't deserve that."

"That's not up to you to decide."

"But-"

"I forgive you," Hope stated. "I forgive you, Thomas, and I always have. I forgive you. I forgive you."

"What if I still can't forgive myself?"

"Then… Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm."

"Can you say it again?" Hope asked. "C-Can you say that… you don't want me to disappear?"

"Hope…"

"Please. I-I just… need to hear it again to truly believe it."

Hearing that, Thomas' heart hurt more than it already was. This poor girl couldn't believe that someone truly cared about her without verbal proof, which meant that all this time… Hope truly believed that Thomas wanted her to disappear. It had been years. Years since he'd said that, and it pained Thomas to know how much she'd been suffering. Merely imagining someone saying such a terrible thing to him made Thomas sad, so the fact that Hope had to live with that terrible memory for so long… God, it made Thomas want to die. It made him want to punch himself over and over again - it made him want to disappear himself. Hope had never done anything wrong: she had no choice but to go with Ava Paige. All she'd ever done was protect him, and all he did back was hurt her. It was an understatement to say Thomas felt revolting for what he'd done.

"Why do you care so much about him?" Thomas had once muttered to Hope. "He's a prick to you too, y'know."

However…

"Why should that matter?" Hope had asked. "Being a prick, not being a prick… Why should I dislike someover over that?"

When it came to Hope…

"Because you don't deserve that. He's a bully: someone that should have his terrible attitude shot right back at him."

They may have been twins, but Hope wasn't exactly like Thomas.

"So, instead of bullying the bully," Hope had smiled, "maybe you should try to understand why they're being a bully. Maybe, just maybe, you don't have to become a bully yourself."

Thomas hating himself wouldn't bring Hope closure. It may have been what he felt that he deserved, but Hope didn't. And knowing Hope, she'd be sad. If Thomas lived life hating himself, then Hope would live life hating herself even more. However annoying it could be sometimes, she wasn't the type of person to hate those who hurt her. Her response to pain was to heal the other person's pain and not her own, so… So, yes, it did feel gross for Thomas to try to move on. It did make him sad that Hope needed his approval to bring herself closure for something he did, but… Thomas would do anything for her. Anything in the entire world.

"I don't want you to disappear," Thomas finally said. "P-Please… Please don't disappear, Hope… I'd be lost if you did…"

Hope smiled. Not a depressing smile or a self-deprecating one. A true, loving smile that warmed her entire body. And upon feeling this, Hope wasn't able to contain her own emotions any longer. She leaned away to stare up into Thomas eyes, seeing both of their cheeks wet with tears. "Then I'm happy… From the bottom of my heart, I'm happy, Thomas. I am undeniably, inexplicably happy."

"We'll be together forever!"

This girl…

"My name's Hope. It's nice to meet you!"

This girl was too good for his world.

Despite the guilt still very prominent within him, it was Thomas' turn to wrap his arms around Hope. He held her close, barely being able to remember the last time this happened. Had it been ten years? Eleven? Twelve? It may have been quite a long time, but the feeling of Hope's warmth was familiar; it was like his body had never forgotten. As he held her in his arms, Thomas embraced Hope for all those years apart, and he hugged her for all those things he'd said. In a world like theirs, it was hard to find a moment like this one. A simple moment between two long-lost twins. But, somehow, that same world had given them a second chance. It was a miracle, really. The miracle of twins. Thus, Hope returned Thomas' embrace without a single thought. She closed her eyes with her face buried in his shoulder, feeling completely and utterly at home. This wasn't that dark room in Ava's home. This wasn't Mara that she was hugging. This was her brother. This was supposed to be impossible, yet it wasn't. It was real. It was a miracle.

Maybe… there was light at the end of the tunnel.

"I-I missed you," Hope cried. It was an honest cry. One of the most honest things she had ever done. "I missed you so much."

"Me too," Thomas sighed contently. "And I'm sorry that I never got the chance to say anything until now. I really was glad to see that you were okay after you got shot."

"Hey, I didn't expect you to buy balloons or cake or anything," Hope joked, prompting Thomas to let out a snicker of his own. "Plus, you already have a huge weight on your shoulders, Thomas. It's not just me that you have to worry about - it's all of us. You're doing the best you can… And I hope you know how proud I am of you."

"I'm proud of you, too." Thomas repeated Hope's words once more: he had not only missed her, but he was proud of her as well. So, he took a step away from her and placed his hand atop her head, his eyes full of pride. "I mean, you've grown up to be such an amazing person that you've become quite the guy magnet."

Hope's smile immediately fell. "Th-The guy what?!"

"Hope, c'mon." Thomas' smile appeared. "Almost all of the guys back in the Maze had huge crushes on you."

"That's…" Hope let out a huff. "Thomas. You've ruined the mood."

"I'm being a brother."

"B-By doing what?"

"By protecting you from boys."

"I'm sorry, but what about what you just said had anything to do with protection? Th-That sounded more like teasing."

"You think I was joking?"

"W-Well, yeah?"

"Wait." Thomas' smile fell exactly like Hope's did. "You seriously don't think that the boys in the Maze-"

"Um, excuse me?!" Just then, an irritated Minho interjected into the twins' world. "I'm sorry, I honestly hate to break the mood, but if someone asked me what the heck I just witnessed, I'd say I just saw two complete strangers on drugs! You two shanks just experienced every emotion that is humanly possible! A-And I don't even know what some of those emotions were!"

"Yeah, I'm really confused," Frypan agreed. "Like, w-what?"

"Is it true, though?" Chuck questioned with his eyes sparkling. "Are you two actually… y'know."

"Wait. I thought we already knew they were related," Aris commented. "They look almost identical."

"They do…?" Jorge squinted his eyes between the two. "Huh… Now that you mention it…"

"Jorge," Brenda deadpanned, "stop joking around. You're not that old."

"Uh, well…" Thomas gulped while he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Guys, uhm, we are siblings. Twins actually."

"A surprise or not a surprise, I'm glad you two finally found each other again," Teresa added, a friendly smile on her face. "You deserve it."

"But…" When Newt's soft yet puzzled voice chimed in, however, everyone turned toward him. They each saw that same puzzlement on his face, yet there was also this melancholy in his dark brown eyes. The look made Hope's own eyes look the same. "But you said something about us, Thomas… About Alby, Minho, and me…"

"What did you mean?" Minho furthered. "What do you guys remember that we don't?"

Upon hearing this, Hope and Thomas couldn't stop themselves from sharing the same exact smile and saying the same exact thing. "Well, that's actually the fun part of the story."

"Jorge," Thomas added, "is it okay if we tell this story on the way?"

"You got it, hermano." Jorge nodded. "We move forward."

It was hard to find the truth in the lies.

Just as it was hard to find the light in the darkness.

But after that day, Hope learned a valuable lesson.

The truth was there, and it wasn't always bad.

It was scary, but not wholly bad.

After continuing their roadtrip, Hope found herself surrounded by only kindness.

Acceptance.

Understanding.

Her friends didn't hate her or loathe her.

They knew who she was, but they didn't care.

Hope was still one of Siggy's favorites.

Hope was still the one Chuck looked up to.

Hope was still the one Minho felt most comfortable around.

Hope was still fearless in Teresa's eyes.

Hope was still Thomas' sister.

And Hope was still everything to Newt.

They hugged her.

They embraced her.

They saw her.

They saw the light within her, because they were the ones who flipped it back on.

And yes, Hope did cry in spite of their acceptance.

She did feel overwhelming gratitude and relief.

Hope did learn a valuable lesson that day.

The most valuable lesson that she would ever learn.

Mara had been a liar.

A/N: Took me some time, but I finished this tHiNg! It's an important chapter, so I wanted to make it as perfect as I could.

And yes, I know: Hope still hasn't talked about Mara. Well, who do you think is gonna get that truth out of her? O_O