Author: PreppyPrincess5103

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Harm. & Mac begin their life together, while both deal with the reality of Harm's decision to resign his commission. Spoiler alert: Mac doesn't handle it very well. (Continuation of It Started in Russia, and Everything is Going to Be Okay)

Notes: So, I just have to say my peace about that stupid NCIS episode. In my world, it does not exist. After the incredibly disappointing X-Files & Gilmore Girls revival, I didn't have a good feeling about the NCIS appearance from the moment it was announced. I had hoped I would be wrong, but I just had a feeling. And personally, I think doing that to those characters and to the fans is complete bullshit. Especially when it's just a brief arc on another series, and not a JAG revival/reboot. I know people keep talking about that leading to one, but I don't see how that would even work. So, in my world, it never happened. I'm just going to pretend it was all a dream like that old show Dallas. In my world, Harm resigned his commission, they moved to San Diego, they adopted two children, and lived happily ever after.

Part Five

"A little to the right." Mac watched as Harm shifted their Christmas tree in the stand, and smiled when it was finally straight. "Stop! It's perfect."

He finished tightening the screws, and then moved to join her. He stepped behind her and circled his arms around her waist. It was a nice tree. She had spent nearly an hour walking up and down each aisle of the tree farm, looking for the perfect one. She inspected each tree, judging their symmetry, their height, and the dryness of the branches. And it was utterly charming. He hadn't cared much for Christmas for most of his life, but he could see that changing with her. "I can't even remember the last time I had a real Christmas tree. Mom thought they were too messy, so she prefers the artificial ones."

She wrinkled her nose. "We always had artificial trees when I was growing up. My mom bought ours at a thrift shop one year a few days after Christmas, and we used it every single year. At least until she left."

He kissed the top of her head and tightened his arms around her. "Did you and your dad do anything for Christmas after that?" She rarely spoke about her family, and he was always a little hesitant when she did. He wanted to hear what she had to say, but didn't want to come across as pushy or insensitive. He was learning that she spoke the most freely when she felt safe.

She shook her head. "No. I didn't have a Christmas tree again until I was on my own."

He nuzzled her neck and grinned as she shivered. "This is the first Christmas I've looked forward to in thirty years. And that's because of you."

She turned in his embrace, and looped her arms around his neck. "Hopefully the holidays will just keep getting better and better."

Her attempt at confidence made him smile broadly. He knew she was still anxious about their future, but she was trying. And right now, that was more than enough for him. "They will." He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her face up before kissing her.

Mac enjoyed the kiss for a minute, before forcing herself to step back. He took a step closer, and she stopped him with a hand on his chest. "Our tree isn't going to decorate itself, Harm."

He watched her meticulously wrap a strand of lights around the tree and couldn't help but smile. Even though she had demanded he step away from the lights when he had tried to help. Apparently, his way of lighting the tree left uneven spaces between the strands. He decided to spend the time building a fire and left her to finish the lights. Once the fire was going, he turned his attention back to her. "Please tell me you won't demand this level of perfection when our kids want to help with the tree."

She rolled her eyes and continued wrapping the tree in tiny white lights. "They can hang the ornaments however they want. But I will always be very particular about the lights."

He picked up an ornament from one of the open boxes and smiled. It was a dinosaur wearing a Santa cap. He turned his attention back to her and perched on the edge of the sofa. "How many kids do you want?"

Mac turned to face him and cocked her head to the side. "Haven't we talked about this already?"

He shook his head. "We talked about the challenges of having a family and deployments. And I mentioned that when I thought about the future, I saw a little girl who looked like you. But we've never talked about how many."

She shrugged and smiled, before turning back to the tree. "I'm not really sure. I want to be a mother, but that's a more recent desire. I didn't play mommy to dolls when I was little. I never baby sat or spent time with children, or really had any desire to have one until... Well, until recently."

"What made you think about it?"

She finished putting the last of the lights on the tree and turned to face him. "I'm not scared of being like my parents anymore. And that's thanks to Bud and Chloe." She carefully stepped around the boxes of ornaments and decorations and sat on his lap. "I look at Bud and I see that a person that faced some of the same issues growing up that I did, and I see that it hasn't stopped him from loving Harriet and now AJ with everything he has. As for Chloe… I absolutely love that kid. And that love hasn't gone away, even when she was at her most frustrating. I loved spending time with her, and teaching her things. Spending time with her taught me a lot about children, and it's shown me that I really want one of my own." She took a deep breath and smiled. "They've both shown me that none of us have to make the same mistakes that our parents did."

He tucked her hair behind her ear, and admired how beautiful she was. The Christmas tree lights and roaring fire bathed the apartment in warm light, and made her skin glow. "You'll be a great mom." She beamed, and his heart felt overwhelmingly full. "I can see it so vividly." He handed her the dinosaur ornament and smiled. "I see you chaperoning school trips to the Natural History Museum. I can see you going through their Halloween candy and stealing all of the Reese's cups for yourself." She snorted and he laughed. "I see us taking a lot of trips to California so they can have plenty of time with their grandparents." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "I see a happy family. Neither of us had that, and I know we'll both do everything in our power to give our kids more than we had." She nodded and he brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. "So, back to my original question. How many?"

She bit her lower lip and placed her hands on his shoulders. "I'd like at least two. But no more than three."

He grinned. "I think two is a good number. I wouldn't want them outnumbering us." She laughed and he leaned in for a kiss.

"So why are you not telling your coworkers about your relationship with Harm?" Mac stopped bouncing her leg, and Brenda Daniels forced back a smile. "You've told me that you've been together for a while, and that you don't doubt his feelings for you."

Mac pressed her lips together and then exhaled. "That's right."

"So why haven't you told your coworkers?"

She shrugged. "I don't understand why random people need to know. His family knows. Our closest friends know. My commanding officer knows. Why is it important that everyone else know?"

Brenda shrugged. "Why are you so adamant that people not know?"

"I'm not!" Brenda raised her eyebrows and Mac took a deep breath. "I'm not," she repeated in a more reasonable tone. "I just don't want my personal life to be the main feature on the office gossip column. Last year one of my coworkers told me that everyone assumed that we were sleeping together while on work trips out of town. I just know that it would be so much worse if they actually know we are sleeping together."

"If they already assume, why not just tell them? You don't work together anymore. It's likely not as big of a deal as you think it is." She tilted her head to the side and studied her patient. "Is there another reason you don't want your relationship to be public knowledge?"

Mac stood and walked over to the bookcase. She spent a minute running her fingers over the titles before turning back to Brenda. "Initially it was because I was hoping that he'd come back to JAG, and I wanted us to be able to work together."

Brenda waited a minute for her to continue. When Mac said nothing, she crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair. "You said that was the reason initially. What's the reason now?"

"What if it doesn't work out?" Mac looked up and her eyes locked with Brenda's. "I can't imagine how uncomfortable it would be at work if everyone knew that we gave it a shot and it didn't work.

Brenda offered her a sympathetic smile. "What if it does work out? What if the two of you have a long and happy life together?"

"I know. It's just… I feel like it'll be easier on my ego if it ends and no one knows about us."

"Is that fair to you? Or to your partner?"

"Harm." Mac's voice was soft. "His name is Harm. And I know it's unfair to him. This has been a point of contention for us since the very beginning. He claims to understand where I'm coming from. Well, at least he did while he was still on the carrier."

"And Harm doesn't understand anymore?"

Mac shook her head. "No. He doesn't understand at all." She looked at her hands and noticed a pen mark on one of her fingers. She rubbed at it for a minute before continuing. "He was dating someone else last year. And she actually told me that sometimes she thought that what they had would last forever, and sometimes she thought it would last until I decided I wanted him. At the time I thought she was an insecure mess, and I was so annoyed by the fact that he always seemed to go for these neurotic, insecure women. And now here I am."

"Is there someone else in his life now? Another woman he works closely with to make you feel like she did?"

She shook her head. "No."

Brenda leaned forward and folded her hands in front of her. "Colonel, I know you're here with me because he requested it, and you told me at the beginning of our session that you thought talking to me helped. So why not try giving him something else that he's asking for?" Mac opened her mouth, so she hurried on. "Telling your coworkers doesn't have to be a big thing. Drop it into conversation with someone. Put a photo of the two of you in your office. Just think about it."

"Harm?" Mac sat her keys on the table and looked around the apartment. It was quiet, and most of the lights were off. She made her way to the bedroom to change, and saw the light blinking on her answering machine. She hit play and began to unbutton her blouse.

"Hey, it's me. It's about 5:30, and I'm still at the airpark. I'm absolutely disgusting and don't want to bring this level of filth to your place, so I'm going to stop by my apartment and shower and change before coming over. I'm not sure how late I'll be, but I'll give you a call when I'm leaving my apartment."

An idea began to form. They had spent every single night of their relationship at her place, and it might be nice to surprise him at his. Mac quickly stripped off her skirt and stockings, and changed into dark jeans and a bulky pale blue sweater. She grabbed an overnight bag and threw in the essentials, grabbed a clean uniform and headed back into the frigid December night.

Traffic was heavy at 6:00, so even though it was less than five miles from her apartment to his, the drive took much longer. She was relieved that he hadn't made it home yet, and let herself in. She put her uniform and overnight bag in the bedroom, and made her way to the kitchen to put away the groceries she had picked up. He liked to tease her about her ineptitude in the kitchen, but that wasn't actually the case. There was a big difference in not knowing how to cook, and not wanting to cook. And tonight, she wanted to cook.

She had the salmon seasoned, the salad dressing made, and was washing the rice when she heard his key in the lock. He opened the door and stopped in his tracks. He couldn't help the smile that instantly lit up his face, and she felt something inside her warm.

He took off his coat and made his way to her. "God, you're a sight for sore eyes."

She looked him over. "You weren't kidding. You are filthy."

He snorted. "That's the understatement of the century." He looked at the food resting on the counter and raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes and he grinned. "What made you decide to come over here?"

"I figured you'd be exhausted. I thought I'd surprise you."

He tucked her hair behind her ear, and not wanting to get his filth all over her, he leaned in for a very quick peck. "Thank you. What are you making?"

"A tahdig."

"I have no idea what that is."

She laughed and went back to the sink. "It's a Persian rice dish. The bottom of the rice gets perfectly crunchy and delicious, while the rest is just regular steamed rice. I'm also making spiced salmon, and a mixed green salad." She swirled the rice around a bit more, drained it, and smiled when it finally ran clear. She looked back at him and found him staring at her. She blushed and turned back to the rice.

He approached her and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm going to go take a shower. Will you tell me more about Persian food when I get back?"

Mac looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. "I'd love to."

His shower was fast, since he wasn't sure how long her meal would take. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, and made his way back to the kitchen. "Anything I can do?"

Mac shook her head and wiped off the counter with a sponge. "The rice is cooking and the salmon is roasting." He sat down on a bar stool, and she walked over to him. His legs spread as she approached, and she stood between them. His hands instantly went to her hips, and he pulled her close. Their lips touched, and his hands tightened on her.

After a long moment, she pushed back and tried to bring her breathing back under control. "Hold that thought until after dinner." She stepped closer, and threaded her fingers through his damp hair. "So why were you so filthy?"

"We started clearing out the structures today. Since we're not going to have to bulldoze them, we have to get them cleaned out before the contractors come in. There wee newspapers and magazines from the 60's still inside. The place is an absolute pit."

She offered him a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

He smiled and rubbed his hands up and down her sides. "It's going to be a lot of work, but I think I'm going to really enjoy the process." He slipped his hands under her shirt, and reveled in the softness of her skin. "How was your day?"

"It was good." She bit her lower lip, and looked down before forcing herself to meet his eyes. "I had another therapy appointment today."

His eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah. I told you I was going to keep seeing her."

He nodded. "I know. It's just still a little surprising." He moved his thumbs over her ribcage. "May I ask what you talked about today?"

She offered him a small smile. "You, mostly. And the fact that you want to tell everyone about us, and I don't."

"Ah." He dropped his hands back to her hips and squeezed. "Does she agree with you?"

Mac shook her head. "Actually, she agrees with you." His eyes widened and she smiled. "I came to the realization that I don't want to tell anyone because it'll be less painful if no one knows in case we don't work out."

"Mac-"

She shook her head. "I know, I know." She took a deep breath. "Harm, would you like to go to the Admiral's Christmas party with me next week?" His smile made her feel like the world's biggest asshole for not making their relationship public sooner. He leaned in to kiss her again, and she beamed at him when they parted. "I guess that's a yes?"

He smiled and nodded, before kissing her again. His hands moved back under her sweater, and he immediately hardened when his fingers brushed over a bare breast. He moaned into her mouth and pulled back. "Please tell me you don't go braless all the time." She moved closer to him, and closed her eyes as his fingers lightly pinched her nipple. He pulled his lips from hers, and attached them to her neck. "How much time before dinner?"

"About 17 minutes."

He stood and pulled the sweater over her head. His mouth instantly latched onto a breast, and her hands went to the button on his jeans. He pulled back momentarily so they could rid themselves of their clothes. Once their clothes were on the floor, his mouth went to her other breast, and her hand closed around him and began to stroke. He backed her into the sturdy apartment door, his mouth never leaving her. He moved one hand down her body, and slid a finger inside her. He found her hot and soaking wet, and his own arousal soared. Ignoring her whimpers, he pulled his mouth off of her, and dropped to his knees in front of her.

End Part 5