Author: PreppyPrincess5103

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Harm. & Mac begin their life together, while both deal with the reality of Harm's decision to resign his commission. Spoiler alert: Mac doesn't handle it very well. (Continuation of It Started in Russia, and Everything is Going to Be Okay)

Notes: Sorry this part is short. This was just the best place to cut the story without it being insanely long.

Part Eight

Mac rolled over in bed and reached for Harm, but instead of his chest her hand found nothing but cool sheets. She sat up and scanned the room, clutching the duvet to her. The room was dark and empty. "Harm?" No answer. She climbed out of the bed, and winced as her feel hit the cold floor. She pulled on panties and the sweatshirt she had been wearing before bed. She was quiet as she peeked in the bathroom, and then headed into the living room. Harm stood in the dark, staring out the window. She approached him, and tentatively wrapped her arms around his waist, and rested her head against the smooth plane of his back. "Are you okay?"

Harm placed his hands over hers. "I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep."

Mac kissed his shoulder and then brought her hands to his arms and rubbed vigorously. "You're freezing." She reached for the blanket draped over the back of the couch, and wrapped it around him.

He turned to face her and smiled softly. He grabbed the ends of the blanket and wrapped his arms around her, enveloping both of them. "You're really good to me."

She placed her hands on his hips and stretched to kiss him. "I love you," she said simply. "Want to come back to bed?"

He shook his head slowly. "No. I felt like I was losing my mind laying there and not being able to sleep."

She pulled away from him, grabbed his hand and led him to the couch. She tugged him down and curled into his side. "I guess you're still thinking about your dad?"

"Yeah." He covered them both with the blanket and stared at the embroidery. He traced one of the blue lines on the gray fabric and sighed. "You know, this was the first time in thirty years I was excited about Christmas." He dropped a kiss on her head, and smiled as she wrapped her fingers around his. "It's our first Christmas together, and once again I'm obsessing over my dad."

"You could choose not to."

Her voice was soft, but he felt as if she had screamed the words in his ear. He pulled away from her and frowned. "He's my dad, Mac. And this changes everything. I don't know how to feel. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mom. I don't- "

"You are not telling your mom." She let go of his hand and put her hands on his face, forcing him to look at her. "Trish does not need to know this. First of all, it happened thirty years ago. Second, the emotions must have been running so high then, for both of them. Third, well... Harm, he's gone and she's remarried. Telling her about this would bring up the worst period of her life, and for what? What purpose would it serve?"

"I feel like I'm being dishonest by not telling her. What if Jenny Lake wasn't the only one? What if there were others?"

She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs and shook her head. "It doesn't matter. She looks back on her time with your dad fondly. She told me once that getting his tapes soothed her soul. Don't run the risk of ruining those memories for her." He looked down at the blanket again, and she ran her hand through his hair. "Talk to me."

He pulled her close to him. "My thoughts are all over the place right now. I don't even know where to begin."

She kissed his bare chest. "Just pick one of those random thoughts and say it out loud."

"I'm scared there could be others. Other Jenny Lakes." He took a breath. "I'm scared I'm going to go to the wall at some random point and find a memento with his name on it from another random woman."

"What else?" Her voice was soft and encouraging. And he understood what his mother had meant when she said his father's tapes soothed her soul. Mac's voice and her presence did that for him.

"Everything I've done throughout my whole life has been because of him, and I don't really know him." He twisted the Naval Academy ring he still wore around his finger. "I did this because of him. I became a pilot because of him. I treated my mom and Frank like garbage over my sense of loyalty to him. I ran away to Vietnam as a teenager because of him. And I don't even know him. All I know are stories people have told me, and facts I could get from his personnel file." He looked at her, and his heart ached at the sight of tear tracks on her cheeks.

"You know that he loved you. And he loved your mom. Harm, I've heard those tapes too. You can hear it in his voice." She kissed his chest again. "Don't let one weak moment during a difficult time take that away from you." She pulled away from him and stood, extending her hand. "Come one. We need to get some sleep."

He took her hand and looked up at her. "I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep." Her face flushed and he frowned. "What?"

"I feel like it's completely inappropriate to say this, but I know of something that helped you sleep the last time you were this upset."

His eyes widened, and he thought back to the night in Russia. She had held him while he cried, and then let him use her body to feel alive again. "Mac…" His voice was low and deep.

She pulled her hand from his and tugged off her sweatshirt, leaving herself in nothing but blue satin panties. She bit her bottom lip as he put his hands on her hips and gently tugged them down.

"We should probably go get in bed."

Harm glanced at her and couldn't help but smile. They had realized quickly that the couch was only good for one position, so he had shoved the ottoman out of the way and they had ended up on the floor. He leaned over her, and grabbed two throw pillows and the blanket from the couch. He handed her a pillow, and tried to spread the blanket over them without having to stand. "I don't think I have it in me to walk to the bedroom. That was something."

She rolled on her side to face him and smiled. "Hopefully it was enough to make you sleep for a while. Our flight leaves in six hours." His eyes looked heavy and she brushed her hand over his forehead, and into his hair. He closed his eyes, and she continued to play with his hair.

"Mac?"

His voice was sleepy, and she smiled. "Hmm?"

"I really want to ask you to marry me."

She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. "Soon, sweetheart. Soon."

This time when she opened her eyes, he was still next to her. And he was sleeping soundly. Mac managed to maneuver herself out of his hold without waking him, grabbed her shirt and panties, and headed to her bedroom. She tossed the clothes in the laundry basket, and then turned on the shower. She had showered, dressed in a comfortable pair of yoga pants and a fitted t-shirt. The plan was to dress in layers. It would be much warmer in Bora Bora than it was in DC. After blow drying her hair and putting on her makeup, she went to rouse Harm.

"Harm. Wake up." She sat next to his sleeping form and smiled. She crossed her legs, and gently shook his shoulder.

He groaned and pulled the blanket over his head. She reached for it and yanked it away. She laughed at the site of this very tall, extremely handsome man lying on her living room floor completely naked. She ran her hand over his chest. "Harm, wake up."

"No."

"We need to leave for the airport in an hour. It's 19 degrees outside. You better believe I will go on our vacation without you."

He opened one eye and squinted at her. "You would not."

"The high in Bora Bora tomorrow will be 82. So yes, I will."

He opened both eyes, and sighed. "Fine. I'm getting up." He sat up and leaned into kiss her. He stood, and then extended a hand to help her up. "I'll go shower. Can you make some of that Marine grade coffee you love so much?"

She grinned at him and headed to the kitchen. "It'll be here waiting on you."

He watched her for a second, and then headed to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He went to his nightstand and pulled the drawer open. He reached for the ring box and headed into the bathroom. He opened it and admired the sparkling ring inside. The jeweler he had taken it to had done an amazing job. The emerald cut diamond was nestled in a bezel setting, instead of more traditional prongs, and the band was hammered platinum. It was beautiful and unique - just like the woman he was going to give it to. He closed the box and tucked it into his toiletry bag, just in case eight days in paradise moved her from not yet to yes.

Harm showered quickly, towel dried his hair, and dressed in athletic pants and a t-shirt. He felt like he was wearing pajamas, but they were going to be in the air for eighteen hours, and he was determined to be as comfortable as possible. He grabbed a clean towel and dried off all of his toiletries and stored them in the bag. He went to back into the bedroom and secured it in his suitcase, and then wheeled the suitcase into the living room. Mac had coffee going, and was sitting at the table eating cereal.

He frowned at the cereal. "Mac, it's going to be a long day. Don't you think you're going to need something more substantial than Fruity Pebbles?"

She rolled her eyes and ate another bite of cereal. "I didn't want a sink full of dirty dishes that need to be washed before we leave. I'll grab a doughnut at the airport for extra sustenance." She grinned at him and continued to eat.

It was his turn to roll his eyes. Her diet was appalling. He prepared a slightly healthier breakfast of oatmeal and the last banana for himself and sat next to her. They were quiet while they ate, and he looked up from the bowl when she scooted her chair back. She picked up his banana peel and headed to the trash can. "I'm going to take the trash to the chute.

Mac came back into the apartment a few minutes later and smiled. Harm had washed the dishes and was wiping down the counters. She walked up to him and placed her hand on his back. "Thank you."

Harm turned to face her and wiped his hands on a towel. He put his hands on her shoulders and studied her. "Please stop thanking me for doing simple things for you. I make dinner and I wash dishes. You never need to thank me for doing my part around the house." She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He dropped his arms from her shoulders and wrapped them around her. He bent his head to her ear. "You give me so much," he whispered. The vulnerability in his voice made her pull back. "You give me so much. You sooth my soul." He saw her eyes moisten, and she licked her lips. "Every bit of you soothes my soul. The sound of your voice. The way you run your fingers through my hair. Just your presence."

"Harm."

Her voice was soft, and he placed a hand on her cheek. "Last night when you told me what my mom said about my dad's tapes, I understood instantly. I've felt that for a long time." He smiled sheepishly and leaned in to kiss her. "You're welcome for the dishes. Thank you for being there last night. And in Russia. And every time in between."

"You don't have to thank me for that. I'll always be here, Harm. Always."

He brushed a tear from her cheek and kissed her again. "Come on," he said, "Bora Bora is just a short eighteen-hour flight away."

End Part 8