TRIGGER WARNING; Contains depictions of mild torture/gore. Not terribly graphic but please take care if you are sensitive to such things.
Valentine walked the halls like she owned them and in some ways, one could say that she did. Students of all ages pulled their friends from her path, purposely scurrying inside rooms and around corners to avoid her. Valentine could vaguely remember a time when it had bothered her. She still felt the guilt that came with it, but she supposed it would always be there.
She was on her way to her first detention as part of her agreement.
Why do I feel like I should have just let myself be expelled?
As far as she knew, no one but she and Harry had been given detention by Umbridge and she had no idea what to expect.
When she reached the Defence Against the Dark Arts room the door was already open. As she walked through the classroom she briefly considered trashing the place but decided against it.
I'm on probation as it is.
She dragged her feet up the stairs and knocked on the office door.
"Enter." She heard Umbridge say.
Valentine pushed open the door, making sure to look as bored and uninterested as she possibly could.
Umbridge stood from her desk, moving towards her.
"Ah, Miss Lestrange. Right on time."
Valentine looked around at the alarming pink room, the walls decorated with porcelain plates painting with moving images of cats.
Okay...Maybe these are all the cats she's killed...She seems like the small animal killing type...
"Today you'll be doing some lines for me. Sit here." She gestured to a single desk and then selected a quill from her own. "You'll be using this special quill of mine."
"No ink?" Valentine arched a brow at her, taking the quill.
"You won't need any, dear." Umbridge smiled at her.
"And I presume you have something you would like me to write?"
"How about..." Umbridge came up behind her, leaning down over her shoulder. "...'I will respect my betters', hmm?"
"How many times?" Valentine asked, not willing to give her the satisfaction of getting mad.
"However many times you feel it will take you to really get the message." Umbridge cocked her head at her with a giggle.
Whatever. Bloody psycho. Can't even come up with something more imaginative than fucking lines. At least Snape's makes students clean and shit.
Valentine pressed the tip to the paper, not questioning the ink that appeared on the page. She assumed it was enchanted. Then, dragging the quill down to form the letter 'I', she felt a strange sting on the top of her other hand. She ignored it, moving on to the next word and then the rest of the sentence. She paused as realised that the words were coming out red on the parchment but then continued again to write.
By the time she had finished her first line, the pain in her hand had grown too much to ignore. She glanced over at her hand as she started the next line and watched in silence as the words carved themselves into her flesh.
You're fucking kidding me...this woman is mad! Is she planning to torture all the students or am I just special?
She was starting the third line as the words slicing through her skin came to a full stop. They matched her neatly looped handwriting perfectly.
She's absolutely insane. Even Snape wouldn't do this to students!
She didn't stop writing as the words were carved into the same spots over and over, going from letter to letter at an agonisingly slow pace. She kept her hand relaxed and sat upon the desktop.
"Is something wrong, Miss Lestrange?" Umbridge blinked at her innocently as she sat behind her own desk, daring Valentine to defy her.
Valentine blinked back at her in mild confusion.
"What would ever give you the perception that something was wrong, Professor?"
Umbridge's smile dropped ever so slightly in annoyance, a small flickering of rage behind her eyes.
Valentine just turned her focus back to her lines.
Nice try, but your little paper cuts are nothing compared to having a magic sucking parasite removed from your brain. Or slicing your own arm open with broken glass. Or having a crazy old man take a chunk out of you with his crooked teeth. I hope you enjoy sitting there watching me do lines because that's all your getting out of this.
Valentine continued on with her lines unhindered. She didn't falter even when the 't' in 'respect' started to drip down the side of her hand. Instead, she used that hand to brush a curl behind her ear, letting it form a quick trail down past her wrist.
She could feel Umbridge watching her with contempt and Valentine revelled in it.
What? Do you want me to whimper in pain? Maybe shed a tear or two? As if someone as revolting as you would ever be worth my tears.
Valentine wrote quickly, sighing once or twice as though she was bored. When she finished the page and flipped it over to start again, blood dripping from the 'I' and the 'Y' in 'my' joined streams and the weight of it created a small pool on the desktop. Valentine ignored it.
She thought about how furious this must have been making Umbridge. She thought about how Harry had already served detention with her more than once.
Has Umbridge done the same to him? Why hasn't he spoken up? I suppose she is half a step away from being the Minister herself. I'll have to tell Dumbledore myself. There has to be a way to stop this. The parents would never stand for this!
Once Valentine finished the second side she was ready to ask for another piece of parchment. She wanted to see just how long she could drag this out, but Umbridge spoke up.
"That will be enough for tonight, Miss Lestrange." Umbridge smiled tersely at her. "Return to your dormitory if you will."
Valentine gave her a smile of her own and swiftly exited the office and the classroom.
The halls were already dark and abandoned. She grabbed her injured hand and studied it in the light from a torch mounted on the wall. Much of the blood had dried and she guessed she'd been in there for about an hour at most.
I'm not surprised there isn't more of a mess considering I just wrote lines with my own blood! This is absolutely demented.
Valentine knew there was no planned meeting for tonight, but she headed in the direction of Dumbledore's office. She knew this couldn't wait.
Not bothering to stick to the shadows she hurried down the halls, her hand still throbbing dully. She turned a corner and immediately ducked behind it again.
Flich was sleeping upright in a chair in the middle of the hall leading to Dumbledore's office. Her boots had scraped on the floor as she abruptly backtracked and he jerked awake, just in time for Valentine to hide.
Shit! There's no other to get there!
"Who's there?" His voice crackled in the silence. "I know what I heard."
Valentine heard a 'meow' and looked down at the fluffy, red-eyed cat staring up at her.
Outed by a cat!
"Who's it, my dear?"
Valentine heard Filch's chair creak as he stood and she quickly bolted back down the hall, stepping as lightly as possible. She could hear the footsteps behind her echoing down the hall.
There's been too much of this getting chased stuff lately!
Valentine turned the corner, recognising the second-floor entry and headed straight for the girl's lavatory. She knew it was highly unlikely he'd follow her in.
She leaned against the sink, panting heavily. She heard the same footsteps and clapped a hand over her mouth. She stood perfectly still, listening to the footsteps disappear up the hall. She then let out a sigh and allowed herself to breath again.
Why was he even there? Did Umbridge suspect that I would try and tell Dumbledore the first chance I got? That can't be it. As far as everyone else is concerned, I think Dumbledore's a stupid, old coot. If I went running to anyone it would be my Head of House or my uncle.
Valentine pulled a hand through her hair, wincing in pain as strands caught on the open flesh. She hissed and carefully untangled her hair from her locks.
She turned on a tap, only far enough for a gentle stream to fall. She stuck her hand under the flow, biting her lip to keep from making a sound. She washed away the blood, staring at the brown flakes that swirled through the water. For a second there she wasn't in the bathroom anymore. She was standing in Snape's kitchen, washing the remains of her self harm down the drain. Snape beside her, scolding her for her poor and violent decisions.
She turned off the tap and used toilet paper to dry off her hand. She left immediately after. She didn't want to risk Flich backtracking and catching her. She was lucky he hadn't seen her before.
Dumbledore will have to wait for tonight. I need to try and get some fucking sleep.
--Pretending to Live--
"...and then Longbottom ran right into the wall!" Draco gave a cruel laugh. "What an idiot. Definitely brightened up my day."
Liam and Blaze laughed heartily at this and Leah was too preoccupied with trying to balance a grape on her nose to pay them any attention. Valentine herself pretended like she wasn't listening, eating her eggs without pretence.
"It's astonishing he's managed to live this long." Blaze scoffed. "What with having no brain and all."
"I think that goes for more than just him..." Liam arched a brow at Leah who was pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes, constantly bobbing her head around trying to keep the grape in perfect balance. "Why is that...almost impressive?"
"Because it's actually keeping her quiet?" said Blaze.
"She did this with a watermelon once." Draco snorted. "It did not have the same result."
"Well, obviously." Liam frowned. "Her head is the size of a watermelon."
"Not when she was seven. That watermelon was in no way edible after she was done, I can say that much."
"What a waste." said Blaze. "How long do you think she can keep it up?"
"She lasted two minutes with the watermelon." said Draco.
"Two minutes seventeen seconds." Leah corrected him, still fully focused on her task.
"Oh, forgive me your seventeen seconds." Draco rolled his eyes at her. "You know if a stiff breeze came along, it'd fall right off."
"Probably take her with it." Liam grinned. "Being such an air airhead all."
"Oi!" Leah shouted. She grabbed the grape off her nose and threw it at him, smacking him right in the cheek.
"Hey!" Liam laughed at her.
"I'd expect this much from Blaze but not from you!" Leah gave him a stern look. "I am deeply disappointed in you!"
"Yeah, get him girl." Blaze said with a mouthful of toast.
"Hey, what about me!" Liam objected.
"She's got grapes, man. I'm not going up against that." Blaze said in his defence.
"Take it like a man!" Leah gave a battle cry and threw another at him, this one landing in his cereal, milk splashing onto the tabletop.
"Okay. I think that's enough now Leah." He grabbed a napkin from beside his plate and waved it around like a white flag.
"NEVER SURRENDER!" Leah proclaimed, throwing a poorly aimed handful.
Although this time Jane Philips arrived at the table just in time to get several grapes to the chest. She looked confused and slightly concerned.
"Okay!" Blaze quickly intercepted, moving the plate of remaining grapes to his other side. "That's enough grapes for now."
"Ah, that was an accident." Liam explained, laughing awkwardly. "She was just messing around."
"It's fine, it's fine." Philips insisted casually, brushing her shirt off.
Leah looked down at her missing plate of grapes with a sombre expression.
"I stay my blade until the day when I am needed again."
"Liam." Philips put her hand on his shoulder. "I was wondering if you wanted to study with me in the library tonight."
"Sure." Liam nodded in agreement.
Draco and Blaze both shared the same knowing look.
"Okay, see you there." Philips shot the rest of them a small smile before she left. "Good seeing you all."
Liam turned to watch her walk away.
"Studying?" Draco arched a brow.
"What?" Liam frowned, turning back to him.
"Is that what they're calling it these days?" Draco scoffed.
"It's not like that." Liam's face flushed bright red.
"Yeah, right." Blaze just laughed at him. "We won't wait up for you."
Valentine openly rolled her eyes and reached for her goblet. As she did, Liam was averting his eyes to the table in embarrassment and saw the red markings on the back of her hand.
"Val!" He suddenly gasped.
"What?"
"What the hell happened to your hand?"
That caught Draco's attention and he Draco grabbed her hand, lifting it so he could see it.
"What happened?" Leah's voice shook with worry. "What is it?"
"Calm down. I'm going to sort it out." said Valentine.
"Val, what the hell is this?" Draco eyes filled with fear.
"It's Umbridge's idea of a punishment." She yanked her hand back.
"I don't understand." Blaze spoke up, equally as worried as the others.
"What is this?" Draco asked again, getting more agitated. "It says, 'I will respect my betters'."
"Someone tell me what's happening!" Leah grabbed Valentine's shoulder and shook it impatiently.
"Stop it." Valentine hissed, brushing her off.
"How did Umbridge do that to you?" Liam pressed. "You told us she had you do lines."
Valentine gave an annoyed growl.
"She did. But she had me use this quill of hers. As it turns out, it doesn't need ink because it uses the blood of the person using it instead."
"That's disgusting." Blaze scrunched his face up in displeasure.
"Val!" Leah's bottom lip trembled as she threw her arms around the other girl.
"She can't do that." Liam shook his head in disbelief.
"She won't." Draco said, getting up from the table.
"Where are you going?" Blaze asked him.
"Writing to my father." Draco huffed angrily and then stormed off before Valentine could stop him.
"Are you going to be okay?" Leah looked up at Valentine with big eyes. "Are you going to die?"
"Do I look like I'm dying?" Valentine arched a brow at her.
"Olivia didn't look like she was dying and she still did."
Okay, I definitely didn't need to hear that.
"Leah, don't say that." Blaze put a hand on her back, with a comforting rub.
"That was a totally different situation." Liam told her gently. "No one is going to die.
Leah just burrowed herself into Valentine's side for the rest of breakfast and Valentine didn't have the heart to move her.
--Pretending to Live--
It wasn't often that any of the classes called them down to the lake but as it was a decently sunny day and Professor Sprout was covering Gillyweed today it wasn't entirely unusual.
Valentine and her friends were near the back of the group, taking up space on a fallen tree trunk. The other students were scattered across the bank, sitting rocks and against trees, taking notes as the Professor passed around a jar containing water and Gillyweed. While she was talking about Beaumont Marjoribanks, the Herbologist originally responsible for discovering Gillyweed, Valentine was watching Harry standing closer to the water's edge, looking very much like the plant brought back unpleasant memories.
"Ew." Leah made a face as the jar came to her.
Gillyweed had an unfortunate appearance akin to that of slimy, dark green rat tails, all knotted together in a bunch.
Leah passed it almost immediately to Blaze.
"Yeah, not the most attractive looking plant I've seen." He frowned and passed it to Valentine who passed it onto Draco without a glance.
"Gross, I don't want it." Draco continued to shove it at Liam and a little too roughly at that, spilling some of the water.
"Oi, careful." Liam scolded, cradling it to his chest. "What did it ever do to you?"
"Calm down, it's just a plant."
"You know what? I hope one day you get attacked by Devil's Snare and that no one is around to help your panicky ass."
"I would not panic." Draco bristled.
"Yes, you would."
"No, I WOULDN'T."
"YES, you would. Val?"
"Yes, you would." She replied.
"Oh, yes, gang up on me. That's totally fair."
Wow. Draco, can you not hear yourself? You have no room to talk.
"It's actually really interesting if you paid any attention." Liam held the jar up close to his face.
"Your lame is coming out, Liam." Draco scoffed. "Hurry up and get rid of that thing."
"I fear for any plant you might ever own."
"Get rid of it, or I'll throw it at Potter."
"Fine, I hear you. Damn." Liam huffed and walked the few metres over to where Meriton was standing alone. "Here. Take it before Draco the Terrible commits grievous acts against an innocent plant."
"I can HEAR YOU!"
"We can all hear you, Mr Malfoy." Sprout sighed. "If we could all focus on our notes and not on threatening the plant life, that would best. Remember students, this will be on your O.W.L.s!"
"Guess, you're going to fail, huh Draco?" said Leah.
"Shut up."
"Not to agree with her...but she's right." said Valentine.
"What is this?" Draco pouted. "Attack your own cousin day?"
"That's on Tuesday."
"Oh. Great. Thanks."
The group heard Liam laughing and looked over at him and Meriton, mid-conversation.
"What are you laughing about?" Draco scowled. "You better not be laughing at me behind my back."
"Don't be silly, Draco." Liam smiled at him over his shoulder. "If I want to laugh at you I'll do it to your face."
"Oh, damn." Blaze whistled lowly. "Can anyone else feel that second-hand embarrassment right now?"
"I think I can taste it." Said Leah, licking her lips.
"I hate every last one of you." Draco crossed his arms over his chest.
"Oh, how will we ever recover?" Liam returned to them. "Meriton was just telling me about this time when he was younger and he accidentally set his mother's hydrangeas on fire."
"How do you accidentally set hydrangeas on fire?" Blaze snorted.
"He had a nightmare and his magic reacted."
"Oh, accidental as in accidental magic. Why didn't you say that? I turned Beck's hair purple once when I was five. No regrets."
Leah cackled at that.
"When I was little I flooded the bathroom. The water was all the way up to my chin!"
"You only did that because your maid bought you your purple pajamas instead of the blue ones." said Draco.
"It's not my fault! I was practically a baby!"
"You were eight."
"When I was about six I turned every painting in the main dining room upside down." said Liam. "It went on for months and almost drove my nanny and grandfather completely insane. They had to put up charms to stop the paintings from turning and everything."
"I almost did the same thing once!" Leah nodded. "Only it was the dog, not paintings."
"Poor Sebastian." Draco muttered under his breath.
"What about you, Val?" asked Blaze. "You must have some kind of crazy story, what with how strong you are and all."
Draco and Leah exchanged knowing looks.
Image's flashed across Valentine's mind. Glass breaking, doors slamming, windows billowing, the walls, floor and ceiling trembling. Narcissa screaming. Blaze was right. She did have some crazy stories. There were only a handful, mostly because she wasn't as prone to tantrums or fear as other children, but the few she did have were, most certainly, crazy.
"Well, mother once said, that when Val was a baby, she used to open her own curtains at night while still being in her crib." Draco jumped in.
Valentine couldn't say whether that was true or not. Narcissa had never told her such.
"Is that it?" Blaze blinked. "I was expecting lightning and explosions or something."
"There was one explosion of sorts." said Valentine casually. "I was four. My uncle was mad at Draco and I for skipping our afternoon tutoring session. He found us in one of the third floor sitting rooms and started screaming like he was the child in this situation. He hit Draco across the face-."
"Val." Draco gaped at her, looking around at the other students in case they'd noticed. "Keep your voice down."
"He hit Draco and the fireplace beside where he was standing seemed to explode into flames. Half of the room was covered in ash and an armchair caught fire. I probably would have let the entire room burn if Draco and I hadn't been in it."
"You...you make it sound like you had some control over it." Liam blinked rapidly.
"A smart part." Valentine shrugged, nonchalantly. "I could persuade it at times to listen but it was usually too strong to be controlled at that age."
"Bloody hell." Blaze breathed out. "That's intense."
"Funny that you say that as it's one of my least intense insistences of accidental magic."
"Really, bloody hell. I've said it before, Val and I'll say it again. You're one scary girl."
--Pretending To Live--
"...nine, ten, eleven, twelve..."
Valentine came down from her dorm and into the common room to see a strange sight, although strange was not unusual when Leah and Blaze were involved.
Draco and Liam were sitting on a couch across from the two. Blaze was sitting in an armchair and Leah was behind him. She had leaned his head back into her hands so that he could face her and was counting with a completely enraptured look on her face.
"What the hell is she doing?" Valentine's brows knitted together in confusion.
"You tell her." Draco told Liam, covering his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."
"She's counting his eyelashes, I believe." Liam sighed, almost in resignation. "But she keeps losing track and having to start over. They've been at this for the last twenty minutes."
Okay? Maybe that's the real difference between friendships and romantic relationships. Friends don't count each other's eyelashes?
"If you and Philips ever do this I will never speak to you again." Draco wrinkled his nose at Liam.
"Yeah, no. That's not going to happen." Liam assured him. "I think that's more of a them thing."
"... twenty-two, twenty-three..." Leah trailed off as she got distracted looking at Blaze's lips. "Damn it, now I have to start again! One, two, three, four..."
Blaze just laughed at her, smiling and content with the bizarre situation.
"Disgusting." Draco made a face. "I don't think an early night's sleep can remove this image from my mind but it couldn't hurt to give it a shot."
Draco stood and started heading for the boy's dorms when he was stopped.
"Wait, Mr Malfoy."
Valentine turned at the familiar voice.
"Isn't it past your bedtime?"
"This isn't the time for your childish insults, Lestrange." Snape sneered at her and then looked back to Draco. "You both need to come to the Headmasters office immediately."
What? Why?
Snape turned and started towards the door.
"Excuse me?" Valentine refused to move.
Snape threw her a cold look over his shoulder.
"Your uncle is here."
Well. That's never good.
--Pretending to Live--
"What's taking them so long?" Draco growled in frustration, pacing back and forth in the hall outside Dumbledore's office.
"How should I know?" Valentine sighed annoyedly from where she leaned against the wall.
It had been close to twenty minutes since they'd arrived. Snape had gone inside and told them both to wait quietly, eyeing Valentine in particular. They hadn't seen either Lucius or Dumbledore yet.
"They have to be talking about what Umbridge did to you, right?" Draco bit his lip, his eyes skidding about frantically. "Why else would Father be here? I sent him that letter this morning. He must have come as soon as he read it."
"Stop it." Valentine snapped at him. "And calm down. You're panicking for no reason."
Draco tried to stand still, but his hands kept jittering, touching his face and his hair. It was like he didn't have complete control over them no matter how much he tried to calm himself.
Valentine sighed and took a step towards him.
"Do you really want your father to come out here and see you like that?" She grabbed his wrist and pulled his hands out of his hair. "Put your hands in your pockets."
Draco did as he was told. She didn't tell him the state his hair was in now. That would just make things worse.
"Now," she grabbed his shoulders and moved him against the wall where she'd been, flattening his ruffled hair with her hands. "stand there and try not to look like you're about to be executed."
"Right." Draco nodded shakily.
Valentine leaned against the wall beside him.
"Father won't let them expel you, you know." Draco looked at his shoes as he spoke.
"I know." Valentine replied. "It would look bad for all you Malfoys if I did. Especially seeing as he and Narcissa technically raised me. Although the particulars are debatable."
"Yeah." Draco nodded again. She could tell that he hadn't heard her. "They really are taking a long time."
"Maybe I should look in and check to see if Snape finally lost it and slaughtered them all in a bout of lonely, middle-aged man rage." Valentine scoffed.
"You're already in enough trouble." Draco eyed her injured hand, not finding her joke as humorous as she did.
"As if that's anything new." Valentine rolled her eyes.
"You should go to the hospital wing and have it healed."
"That's such a hassle. Madam Pomfrey will just nag at me like she always does." Valentine groaned. "Besides, what's a scar or two?"
It was at this moment that the door swung open. Draco immediately stood to attention. Valentine didn't move. They watched Umbridge come out of the room, smiling at them as she passed. Valentine itched to attack.
Oh, what I would do to her if I could. I'm picturing giant spiders, very sticky glue and some rope.
Then Snape followed, but he didn't look at them and instead hurried off.
Not even a sneer? I feel neglected.
The next person to reveal themselves was Lucius Malfoy.
"Father." Draco greeted him, shoulders square, chin parallel to the floor.
The door to the Headmasters office closed and Lucius completely bypassed his son, instead lifting his cane and pointing it at Valentine.
"You." He spat. She could feel the strength he was expending to keep his voice low. Probably built up over the weeks he had avoided her. "Do you know how much trouble you've caused me?"
"Do you know how little I care?" Valentine stepped forwards, casually pushing Draco behind her.
"You're a disgrace. You have no idea the things I've done for this family, Valentine." He whispered furiously. "I will not let you destroy it all."
"But father, didn't you see what happened?" Draco injected, grabbing Valentine's hand from her side and lifting it for him to see.
Lucius just slapped it away and Valentine sank her teeth into the flesh of her mouth to keep herself silent from the sting.
"You are hardly any better." Lucius turned his venomous glare on his son. "All I've asked of you is that you keep your cousin in check, and yet I hear report after report eluding to your uselessness. All these years and you still fail me."
"No one keeps me in check." Valentine growled. "You were right about one thing. He is my cousin. But he is not my caretaker."
"Silence you ungrateful-"
"Do you really want to do this here?" Valentine took another step closer, only by the end of the cane pressing against her chest. Her eyes sparkled with pure malice, lips turned down in a threatening scowl. "Do you really want to risk creating witnesses of me breaking you down to your lowest point? Are your wife and son not enough? If I make a commotion, such witnesses will come running in droves. We both know I'll do it, uncle. After all, I'm out of control, aren't I?"
Lucius's rage bubbled just below the surface, like a cauldron about to boil over.
Valentine's lips tilted up into a faint smile and she watched him struggle to get a hold on himself.
"The only reason I am here is to protect the family name I have worked my whole life to preserve and because Narcissa requested it. Without me, you would have nothing but the name of two fools too stupid to not get caught. You will uphold decent behaviour, or the next time I hear you've caused trouble, will be the last time you have a roof over your head or a school to go to."
Lucius turned from them a flick of his cloak and Draco dared to call after him desperately.
"But...but she hurt her!"
"Good!" Lucius shouted back, never faulting in his steps. "She deserves it!"
The two of them watched as the man sauntered away, disappearing down the hall.
"Val..." Draco sighed, glancing at her.
"Don't." She stopped him. "Lose the battle, win the war, dear cousin."
He didn't look as though he understood but nodded all the same.
"Is your hand alright?"
Valentine looked at it. It was a small part redder than before, but other than that there was no obvious change.
"It's fine." She told him. "We both know it's nothing in comparison to what he could have done.
"Are you going to stop going against Umbridge now?" Draco asked earnestly. "I...I don't think father was joking. He really might kick you out. Or worse, he could disown you."
Valentine sighed and pulled a hand back through her hand. She looked up at her cousin, brow creased harshly, looking as worried as ever. Then she reached up and slapped his cheek gently.
He blinked in surprise.
"Stop it with that face." She snorted. "You look like someone tried to count your eyelashes."
"Oh, God." Draco let out a breathy laugh, face lightening ever so slightly. "Have mercy."