Part Thirty-Seven: The One With the Truth
Emma was staring at the empty darkness of the room slowly turning into light by the pale rays of sun entering the glass of the window.
She didn't sleep the whole night.
Could hardly close her eyes enough to blink.
She was in a state of alert she had never been in before. Not even when she was in a new foster home and had to watch out for the creepy guy inside the house.
Emma spent the night watching Regina and Henry sleep safely in her arms.
Counting every beat of Regina's heart, listening to her breathing.
Every stir from Regina and Henry made Emma's body go rigid.
Every little noise in the house sharpened her ears.
The seconds passed, the minutes ticked by then they turn into hours.
Passing slowly.
Real darkness claimed the room, and her mind raced with nothing but rage when she remembered the way Jefferson tortured Regina.
So Emma checked on her.
Put her hand over her heart, feeling her heart beating.
Snnugleled closer listening to her breathing.
And then she would stare at the darkness again.
The same darkness that vowed to kill Jefferson for what he was doing to Regina.
The same darkness that didn't silence her mind.
It didn't beep.
Not even once.
Not when Regina was taking Jefferson's attention away from Emma, pulling it to herself.
Not when he was calling her The Evil Queen.
Not even once, the whole night.
During that torment where she didn't know if either one of them would leave with their life.
It didn't beep.
Her lie detector didn't beep.
Emma watched the pale light of the morning about to rise dance on the walls of the bedroom.
Regina and Henry were still dead to the world beside her, their breathing heavy as they slept.
But Emma was restless.
She needed to go out there.
She needed to find Jefferson who mysteriously disappeared when she threw him out of the window wearing his hat.
And she needed to make him pay for what he did.
Make him suffer the way she did.
The way Regina did.
And then she needed to find out the truth.
About who he was, about Regina.
About their history.
The reason why her lie detector didn't beep.
Emma looked to the side, a soft tear falling from the corner of her eye.
She had put her family in danger.
The night before, she could have lost Regina.
She could have lost everything.
Everything that meant something to her.
She needed to make him pay.
She needed to make him pay so her life could go back to the way it was before.
Because it didn't beep.
It didn't beep.
And she needed her lie detector to beep.
Emma pulled her arm away from Regina's body, the movement making the scratches on her skin stretch and tingle.
The blood had dried around her skin, the red marks from the shard glass, and the purple from the fight she had with Jefferson gave her arm an appearance worse than it was.
Or maybe not.
Maybe it felt worse than it looked.
Emma just couldn't really feel it inside.
Not with the rage boiling her blood.
Not with vengeance tainting the darkest corner of her heart.
Not when her mind couldn't understand why it didn't beep.
Emma kissed Regina's cheek and then ran her hand softly over Henry's hair before moving out of bed.
She stopped by the door to look at them sleeping, her heart whispering that they were safe now.
And that she had to hunt what put them in danger.
Emma closed the bedroom door carefully before walking to the hallway bathroom.
She looked at herself in the mirror watching a ghost of herself staring back at her.
The cut on her forehead had dried and some of her hair was glued to the blood.
Emma looked and looked and looked at the mirror, every detail from the night before playing terrifyingly behind her eyes.
How utterly powerless she felt inside that house.
How Regina's body convulsed in pain every time he pressed the shock gun to her ribs.
How she felt every single bit of Regina's fear in her heart.
How her soul was agonizing, shattering everything good she had inside of her and turning into darkness.
That was when she vowed she would rip that man apart limb by limb if he hurt Regina again.
The feeling was still there, lingering in her heart twining in the darkest corners of herself.
Churning in that particular part of her that was supposed to beep.
That part that was supposed to tell her it was all an act to buy them time to escape.
That part kept whispering lowly, buzzing darkly, telling and telling and telling that this was Regina's secret.
That this was the part of her that she kept from Emma.
And Emma couldn't accept that.
She wouldn't believe that.
Because it was impossible.
It was crazy.
It wasn't true.
Emma turned away from the mirror and left the bathroom, walking carefully down the staircase before leaving the mansion.
She walked the empty streets of Storybrooke, the cold morning wind assaulting her bare arms.
Emma felt the cold in her skin.
Felt her body shivering.
But she just kept walking.
She needed to arrive at the station.
She needed a gun.
A car.
And then she would hunt.
Emma crossed the street, the wind blowing her hair on her face.
She pulled her hair back, taking gulfs of cold air.
Trying to silence her mind.
Telling herself that her lie detector was just something she made it up for herself.
Like Henry's stories.
It didn't really exist.
It wasn't real.
It wasn't a superpower.
She was just good at telling when people were lying.
Because people around her often lied.
But it wasn't always perfect. It didn't always work.
Except with Regina.
She always knew when Regina was lying.
And it didn't beep.
And that was consuming her inside.
Emma arrived at the station and walked inside the building, her feet more running than walking.
She entered the office, taking a step back when she saw Graham sitting on her desk.
"You know, when you have the night shift it means that you…"
Emma entered the office, Graham's words dying on his tongue as he stared at her.
"Emma!" Graham asked worriedly "What the hell happened?"
He rose from the chair and walked in Emma's direction, they both meeting halfway in the room.
"I was kidnaped last night," Emma said tonelessly "I need a gun and a car to go after that bastard"
"You were what?" Graham asked.
Emma walked past Graham and went behind her desk. She opened the drawer, pushing this and that to the side until her fingers closed around the handle of the spare gun she kept hidden there.
The gun she brought with her from Boston.
"Do you know a man named Jefferson?" Emma asked looking at Graham.
"Yes, I do," Graham nodded "Quiet guy, lives in a huge house outside the main area of Storybrooke. He hardly ever comes to town. Never had any trouble with him"
"Well, he drugged me and then held me inside his house at gunpoint," Emma said coldly "And then when I didn't do what he asked of me, he lured Regina to the house and tortured her in front of me"
"And what was it that he wanted you to do?" Graham asked.
Emma laughed sarcastically, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes.
"To make his hat work," Emma clicked her tongue.
"What?" Graham asked confused.
"He is crazy," Emma said "And a threat to my family. I have to go"
"Emma wait,"
Graham grabbed Emma's arm, the touch sending a wave of pain through her body.
She winced at the touch and Graham quickly let go of her arm, looking at her apologetically.
"Im sorry," Graham said quickly "Emma, you are hurt. You have to go to a hospital"
"I'm fine," Emma said, taking a step forward.
"What about Regina?" Graham asked, "You said she was tortured, where is she?"
"Home," Emma said emotion clogging her throat "She saved our lives"
"How?" Graham asked, "Doesn't she need to go to a hospital?"
"She is home with Henry," Emma said "She is fine now. And yes, she does need to go to a hospital, what he did to her…" Emma paused her hands closing into a fist and expressions tormented "I need to find him. I need to end him. I need to make sure he will never come after my family again"
"What do you mean you need to end him?" Graham asked.
Emma looked at Graham, eyes as cold as ice.
"It means that I have to go," Emma said simply.
And then she turned around, walking away from Graham.
She had just entered the hallway when Graham's voice shouted after her.
But Emma didn't stop walking.
She couldn't stop walking.
Time was wasted with every second she didn't spend looking for that man.
Graham called her name again, his voice beside her now when Emma was walking down the steps out of the Sheriff Station.
"I'm coming with you," Graham said.
He walked two steps ahead of her, in the direction of the Cruiser.
"Give me the keys," Emma said "I'll drive"
Graham didn't hesitate when he threw the keys in the air for Emma to catch.
"Where are we going?" Graham asked.
"His house," Emma said back.
They both entered the car, Emma bringing the engine to life and then gripping the steering wheel as she raced the empty streets of Storybrooke.
"Why would he be at the scene of the crime?" Graham asked beside her in the passenger seat.
"I pushed him out of the window," Emma said "He is hurt. It's possible that he went back there after Regina and I left the house"
"You pushed him out of the window?" Graham asked shocked.
"Yes," Emma nodded, her hands gripping harder the leather of the steering wheel "And he disappeared"
"What do you mean he disappeared?" Graham asked.
"I don't know," Emma said her voice slightly choked and eyes that never left the road "He was wearing the hat that I worked on last when Regina hit him with the chair, and then I pushed him out of the window. I watched him fall and then… then he wasn't there. He wasn't lying on the ground. He wasn't anywhere"
Emma swallowed dried, his words snaking their way into her brain.
The Curse.
The Savior.
And The Evil Queen.
Emma shook her head willing the thoughts out of her mind.
Pushing away the conversation between Regina and Jefferson.
Shaking away the painful acknowledgment that it didn't beep.
Emma just needed to find him.
She needed him to talk.
She needed it to beep.
And then she would make him pay for what he did to the woman she loved.
"Okay," Graham said beside her "He probably fell under a bush when you pushed him. It was nightfall already, that's probably the reason why you didn't see him"
"Yeah," Emma nodded.
But she knew that wasn't it.
There was no bush.
The grass was clean and freshly cut.
He fell wearing the hat.
The hat she made.
He disappeared.
And nothing beeped inside of her.
Emma entered the open gates of Jefferson's mansion, a cold shiver running down her spine.
She parked the car behind her yellow bug, her hands shaking when she pulled the hand break.
She looked at the house, rage and fear dancing together in the back of her mind, poisoning her blood.
How could she have been so careless?
How could she have put Regina's life in danger?
Emma looked to the side alarmed when a soft touch rubbed against her skin.
She pulled her hand away quickly, barely standing the gentle look on Graham's face when he looked at her.
"I can go in alone," Graham said softly "You stay out here on the lookout in case he escapes"
Emma shooked her head before Graham was even done talking.
"I'm going in," Emma said simply.
And then she just opened the car door and left the car.
Emma walked up the steps to the house, forcing her legs to stop trembling.
Forcing the thoughts of Regina writhing in pain out of her mind.
The only thing she had no interest in forcing out of herself was the rage she was feeling.
The dark fury to give it all back to him.
Emma pointed the gun at the door, her finger firmly on the trigger.
Graham showed up beside her, his gun in the same position as he moved slowly in the direction of the door.
Emma watched him twist the doorknob and then push the door open.
"He was here," Emma said, cold smoke leaving her breath.
"How do you know?" Graham asked.
"Because the door was locked," Emma tilted her head to the side "I had to break the living room window to escape"
Graham nodded at her and entered the house, Emma right behind him.
"We stay together," Graham said.
They scanned the living room together, pieces of glass spread all over the floor and on top of the piano.
Emma stared at the broken window, every second of that moment playing behind her eyes as if it was just happening again.
Every swing of the hammer against the hard glass was a scream of desperation inside her chest to get Regina out of that house.
To get her to safety.
Graham's foot stepped over the broken glass on the floor, the harsh sound breaking Emma out of the spell.
"The living room is clear," Grama said.
Emma turned her head to look at Graham and nodded.
"Kitchen is that way," Emma pointed to the open door on the wall.
Graham nodded at Emma and together they made their way inside the kitchen, guns held in front of them.
The kitchen was clear but on top of the table, Emma found the brown jacket she was using.
Emma slid the jacket up her arms, the warmth of the fabric heating her cold arms.
She brought her hand to the inner pocket, the solid touch and metallic click of her car keys relieving something inside of her.
But only for a second.
Because Jefferson wasn't there either.
And she still needed to find him.
Emma and Graham walked up the stairs, checking the rooms on the second floor.
Emma's whole body trembled when she entered the hat room, but her face remained solid as a rock as she looked at the mess inside.
"Jesus," Graham said beside her "What the hell happened here?"
Emma held the gun tightly in her hand, her finger threatening the trigger.
She walked to the table, looking at the needles and scissors and pieces of fabric left there among the hats.
The reason for all the horror they suffered.
She saw her phone half hidden under a hat and Emma stretched her hand to take it.
There it was the text from Regina from the night before.
And one unanswered phone call from this morning.
Emma put the phone inside her jacket pocket and walked to the broken window.
"He is not here," Emma said.
"I'll have one of the fire departments crew patrolling the area," Graham said.
Emma nodded looking out the window, her eyes fixed on the spot Jefferson should have fallen.
The spot from where he just disappeared before even hitting the ground.
Emma took a deep breath the cold air filling her lungs.
She heard the buzz of a phone ringing behind her, Graham's voice answering a second later.
Emma lifted her eyes from the ground at the exact moment she saw something lurking behind a tree.
The madman, the smile, and the hat.
Emma looked into his eyes and he bowed before her, taking the hat from his head.
And then he started running into the woods.
"It's Regina," Graham said behind her.
But Emma hardly made out the words before her legs were running furiously out of the house, gun in hand and a rage capable of destroying everything around her.
Regina opened her eyes alarmed, fear running through her veins and awakening her senses.
She sat on the bed abruptly her eyes slowly recognizing the room she was in, her heart slowing its heartbeat at each piece of recognizable furniture.
Regina breathed heavily, the movement sending a rush of pain through her ribs.
Slowly, Regina became aware of much her entire body ached.
How tense her muscles were.
How they seemed to burn under her skin.
Regina looked to the side, the soft snore of Henry's breathing beside her body soothed something inside of her.
She was home.
They had escaped.
They were safe.
Regina looked to the left side of the bed, frowning at the emptiness beside her.
She touched the sheets, her fingers running slowly over the spot where Emma should be but only cold fabric smoothed her skin.
Emma had been gone a while.
"Emma?" Regina called for her name.
But nothing but silence met her request.
And that silence left a vast hollow inside of her.
Regina moved on the bed, grunting at the way her whole body shook with pain.
She took easy breaths, the forged scent of her and Emma lingering weakly in the air.
But it was enough to soothe her aching body.
Regina brought her hand to her heart, rubbing it gently.
There was no pain there.
No sign of danger.
Just an endless rage mixed with a vow to revenge.
And even though Regina knew part of it was hers, she could feel most of it was Emma's.
She was so deep into her fury that Regina could feel every bit of it in her heart.
It was so thick, so oppressive, so obsessed that Regina wondered if that was what Emma would feel if they have met in the Enchanted Forest.
Regina didn't want Emma to feel that.
She didn't want Emma to know what it felt like to be in her darkness.
"Emma?" Regina shouted, a little louder this time.
Henry stirred beside her, empty silence reached her ears.
She wasn't home.
Emma had gone after Jefferson.
Regina moved her body on the bed again, every muscle protesting at the movement.
She could still feel the shock waves running through her body, the electricity ripping her muscles apart.
The burning sensation that was left after it stopped.
And the guilt she felt for her actions.
For putting Emma's life in danger.
For not keeping her safe.
So many enemies she had.
So much harm and destruction she had brought upon them.
How could she possibly ever protect Emma without her magic?
How could she keep Emma safe without her knowing the truth?
Regina closed her eyes, soft tears rolling down her cheeks.
She could have lost Emma last night.
Jefferson was mad enough to do it after what Regina did to him.
Or worse…
Emma could have died trying to protect her.
Because Emma loved her enough to trade her life for hers, just as Regina would trade her life for Emma's without blinking her eyes first.
And if that had happened…
If Emma had died without knowing who she was truly protecting…
Regina sobbed, the pain she was feeling in her heart cutting deeper than the pain in her body.
"Mom?"
Regina looked down at Henry, his worried features staring back at her.
She didn't bother to hide her tears or pretend everything was okay.
Henry knew it wasn't.
He always knew.
"Are you hurt?" Henry kneeled in front of her "Do you need me to call a doctor?"
"No," Regina whispered.
Henry moved closer, putting his hands on Regina's face.
"What happened last night?" Henry asked.
He looked at Regina with so much concern, so much sincerity.
So much love burning behind his eyes.
Eyes that looked so much like Emma's.
Regina couldn't bear lying anymore.
Lies would only put the people she loved at risk.
She couldn't keep the truth to herself anymore.
The curse was weak, her enemies were awake.
She couldn't risk their lives anymore.
She couldn't protect them alone.
"She was kidnapped by someone from my past," Regina said looking at Henry, soft tears falling from the corner of her eyes "Someone who hurt me in the Enchanted forest. Someone I hurt back when I cast the curse"
Henry looked at Regina with eyes widened and lips parted.
"Not everything happened exactly the way your book says," Regina said "There are only half-truths to those stories. I wasn't always the villain"
"I know," Henry nodded "You are not a villain. You are my mom"
Henry threw his arms around Regina's neck, hugging her tightly.
"Oh, Henry," Regina said, tears falling down her eyes.
She hugged Henry back and pulled him closer to her body, felt his weight pressing against hers, letting the pain that was internal, the pain that pierced her heart and shattered her soul be mended by Henry's words.
Henry who taught Regina how to love again.
Henry who gave everything to her.
Henry who was the first ember of light in a heart so dark and lonely.
Henry pulled away from Regina, his gaze searching hers.
"Are you going to tell me the truth?" Henry asked.
Regina ran her hand over his hair and then slid it down to his cheek, resting her palm on his warm skin.
"Bring your book here," Regina said "And I'll tell you everything"
Henry hopped off the bed and ran away from the bedroom.
Regina hardly had any time to form any thoughts about Emma when Henry entered the room again, his book too big for his hands.
His eyes burned with an eagerness to know everything.
Regina smiled softly at Henry and slid on the mattress, tapping the spot beside her.
Henry climbed up the bed, sitting next to Regina.
Regina put her arm around Henry's shoulder as he opened the book to the first page.
On the image of her unwelcome invasion of Snow White and Prince Charmin's wedding.
Regina sighed as she looked at the picture, her heart heavy inside her chest.
She traced her fingers over the image of herself, even in that book illustration, Regina could feel the rage that lived inside of her.
The fury that dominated all of her actions.
The thirst for revenge that no liquid could soften.
Not even Snow White's death would suffice.
Regina was so blind back then, so full of hate that she wanted Snow White to suffer. So much that she never even realized she already was suffering.
Both of them were.
"Mom?" Henry looked up at her.
Regina moistened her lips and nodded at Henry.
And before she could even open her mouth, Regina made a small prayer.
May the truth set her free.
And hoped that Henry wouldn't hate her by the time she finished her side of the story.
"This first image is truth," Regina said "I invaded Snow White and Prince Charming's wedding to announce to everyone there I was going to enact my curse"
"The one who brought everyone here to Storybrooke," Henry said.
"Yes," Regina squeezed his shoulder "But many years passed and many more things happened before the events of this first image"
"Will you tell me?" Henry asked hopefully.
Regina looked down at him and kissed the top of his hair, pulling his body closer to her.
"Once Upon a Time…"
So Regina told him everything.
About the Princess and the Stable Boy.
About how he was taken away from her.
About who told their secret.
About her unwanted marriage to the King.
Regina told Henry everything, only leaving out a few hundred unnecessary heart rippings and evil deeds.
Henry didn't need to know every single detail of her past.
All the cruelty she cast upon the realm.
She told him the story of how she became The Evil Queen.
Who gave her the name and who turned her into the name.
Page after page, Regina told him her side of the story.
The hero who became a terrible villain.
When they reached the last page of the book that belonged to her, the last page where her story was written, Regina closed the book on Henry's lap.
And then she waited for the words she knew would tear her heart into pieces.
You are evil.
A villain.
You don't deserve love.
Regina braced herself as she looked at Henry, her heart dropping to her stomach.
But it didn't matter how much she braced herself.
Because losing Henry and Emma was the one thing Regina's heart couldn't take it.
They were her whole heart.
How could she possibly live without them?
Without her heart?
"I understand now," Henry said.
Regina closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely down her cheeks.
She felt movement on the mattress, and she knew Henry was moving away, he was going to leave her, stay away as much as possible from her.
She didn't deserver his love.
Regina kept her eyes closed because she couldn't bear watching Henry go.
Her precious boy.
Her little Prince.
The first spark of love her dark heart felt in many, many years.
So it was a surprise to her when she felt his arms wrap around her neck and his soft breath tickling her cheeks.
"I love you, mom," Henry said.
Regina let a breath of relief escape her lips as she wrapped her arms around Henry.
"I love you too, Henry," Regina said "I love you so much"
Henry pulled away from Regina, cleaning a fresh tear that was rolling down her eye.
"You are my mom and nothing is ever going to change that," Henry said "It's like Ma says. The past is the past. What matters is from now on"
"Im so sorry, Henry," Regina said running her hand over his hair "I'm sorry I lied to you"
"I forgive you," Henry smiled "I always knew the truth"
"Yes, you did," Regina smiled back at him.
"But mom," Henry said his voice too serious for his age "You need to tell Emma the truth. You need to tell Ma she is the Savior"
"I know," Regina nodded "But I don't think I can do it, Henry"
"Why?" Henry asked "You just told me"
"I'm scared if I tell her the truth," Regina swallowed dry "I will lose her forever"
"Do you love her?" Henry asked.
"With all my heart," Regina gave a tear-up smile.
"She loves you too," Henry said "She'll understand. Just like I did" Henry paused before looking deep into Regina's eyes "She won't leave us. We are a family"
Regina smiled brightly at Henry before pulling him into her body and hugging him. She kissed his cheek, wetting his skin with her tears as she held and held and held the little boy that meant the whole world to her.
"We are a family," Regina said strongly "We are a family"
"Tell her the truth, mom," Henry said.
"I will," Regina whispered.
Henry pulled away from Regina, smiling at her.
"You stay here," Henry said "I'll make us breakfast"
"Thank you, sweetheart," Regina smiled back at her.
Henry hopped off the bed and walked to the door. He stopped by the door frame and turned around to look back at Regina.
"I love you, mom," Henry said with a seriousness that shook something inside Regina.
"I love you, Henry," Regina said back.
Henry left the room, his footsteps getting more and more distant until silence fell around her again.
And that was when Emma invaded her thoughts.
Regina touched Emma's side of the bed, the cold sheets singing a song Regina didn't want to hear under her fingers.
You need to tell her the truth before someone else hurts her.
She deserves to know the truth about who she is.
Regina reached inside her blazer pocket, her hands shaking when she picked up her cell phone.
She called Emma's number the phone ringing and ringing and ringing until it reached the voicemail.
And Regina rolled her eyes to herself when she turn off the call.
Emma didn't have her phone with her.
It was probably still inside Jefferson's house.
So Regina dialed Graham's number, in the hopes Emma was with him.
The phone rang once and twice and then…
"Regina!" Graham said slightly desperate.
"Graham," Regina said alarmed "Is Emma with you?"
"Yes, she was," Graham said, and Regina could hear he was running, his breathing ragged.
"What do you mean she was? Regina asked concerned "Where is she?"
"That's what Im trying to find out," Graham said, "We were at Jefferson's house and oh my God Regina, I can't even imagine…" Graham took a deep breath "Emma was looking out the window when you called and next thing I know she was running furiously out of the house"
Regina gripped the phone over her ear, her heart pounding inside her chest.
"Graham, listen to me," Regina said her voice both serious and broken "Do not let Emma alone with that man. Do not let him get anywhere near her," Regina paused for a second swallowing the lump in her throat "Please, Graham. I beg you. Please"
"I won't, Regina. I promise," Graham said "But I have to go now. I have to find her"
"Okay," Regina whispered.
And the call was disconnected, leaving Regina alone in the bedroom with nothing but silence to fill the screams in her thoughts.
Emma was running like a beast inside the woods her eyes never missing the black shadow running in front of her.
Branches whipped her cheeks and the cold air burned her lungs but Emma forced her legs to keep running faster and faster after the real evil who preyed on her thoughts.
Emma felt a tug inside her chest, a shadow of concern spreading through her heart and squeezing it tight.
But Emma forced herself to ignore that.
Regina's feelings were creeping inside of her and Emma did not need her concern to slow her movements.
So Emma built a wall inside, she felt herself putting up brick by brick, blocking Regina's feelings.
It pained her to keep Regina out, to not feel her.
Her own soul whispered darkly that what she was doing was wrong.
Regina was part of her and blocking Regina was like ripping a part of her own heart.
But Emma couldn't listen to that whispers now.
Because what she was doing was for Regina.
Emma jumped a thick trunk on the ground, the black shadow getting closer.
She changed directions on her running, going to his left side instead of being right behind him.
Jefferson looked at Emma a mix of surprise and fear dancing on his face.
He ran faster inside the woods stumbling upon the branches on the ground, his breath painting at every step he took.
And Emma just smiled.
He was getting tired.
Emma ran faster, letting her legs and body be powered by the wind.
She matched Jefferson's rhythm and when he was just within reach, Emma took an impulse and jumped in his direction their bodies colling heavily against each other before both of them rolled on the ground.
Emma recovered quickly, standing up with anger she didn't even know lived inside of her.
Jefferson was squirming, his face dirty with wet earth and leaves, small gasps of pain leaving his breath.
"Get up," Emma shouted, her voice full of rage.
"I don't think I can, Princess," Jefferson said, laughing painfully.
Emma didn't care about his pain.
If anything, she wanted him to suffer more.
Emma bent down, hooking her fingers aggressively over his coat and lifting him up.
She pushed him against the nearest tree, the loud impact of his back colliding against the trunk reverberating through her body.
Jefferson grunted in pain, small puffs of air leaving his lips.
A soft rain started to pour, the droplets of water smearing the earth on his face, giving him an even more miserable appearance.
It didn't touch anything inside of her.
She wanted him to suffer.
"Why did you kidnap me last night?" Emma asked, her voice cold.
"Because I needed you to make my hat work," Jefferson said, his voice ragged.
"Stop this madness," Emma shouted, pushing him by the collar and then smashing his back against the tree "Why did you drug me? Why did you call for Regina? How do you two know each other?"
"I've known Regina since she was sixteen years old," Jefferson smiled "I'm the one who helped Rumpelstiltskin break her, back in the Enchanted Forest"
Emma closed her hands into a fist and punch him in the face, hardly caring about the pain on her knuckles when she hit his jaw.
"What did you do to her?" Emma asked angrily "Why did you hurt her?"
"Because she took everything away from me," Jefferson screamed.
"What are you talking about?" Emma asked.
"She gave me the worst curse of all," Jefferson said "She gave me both my memories. And then she took my daughter away from me"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Emma asked.
"It was my punishment, I supposed, for what I did to her," Jefferson said "She gave me everything I ever wanted, money to give my daughter the life she deserves. Except she gave my daughter to another family. It's another man she calls father"
"You are insane," Emma said, staring at the man.
"I wish I was," Jefferson laughed "But it's all true, Princess. The curse is real"
"There is no curse," Emma said.
"Denying what you are won't change the fact that you are the Savior," Jefferson said "It's your destiny to break The Evil Queen's curse"
"Do not call her that again," Emma said seriously, her eyes narrowing on Jefferson.
"But that is what she is," Jefferson said "She is The Evil Queen, and trust me, Princess, you are going to hate her once you break the curse and learn what she did"
Emma punched him again, rage singing like a roar in her blood.
She punched him once and then twice until blood was dripping down his mouth and nose.
And when Jefferson fell on the ground again, Emma knelled on top of him, punching and punching and punching, the rain washing the blood that soaked into the soil.
Because nothing inside her was beeping.
Because everything inside of her was silent.
Because she would never believe that insanity.
And because she needed to make him pay.
"I will never hate her," Emma shouted punching him again "I love her"
"She's lying to you," Jefferson choked "She lies to everyone. She destroys everything she touches"
"Says the man who used a shock gun on her," Emma said angrily.
"I needed to make your magic tick," Jefferson said "And it did. Just not enough"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Emma asked, her breathing ragged.
"When you pushed me through the window, I fell on my hat," Jefferson said "It saved my life making me land softly in the woods"
"You fell behind a bush," Emma lied to herself.
And even Jefferson could see right through her lie.
"You know I didn't, Princess," Jefferson gave her a bloody smile.
"You are lying," Emma shouted.
"No, she is," Jefferson said "And you are blindly believing her after everything you've seen happening around this town"
"Nothing strange happened around town," Emma said, her heart squeezing inside her chest and whispering that wasn't exactly true.
"Ever since the day you decided to stay, things changed," Jefferson said "Time start running again, and the looping stopped. The town clock came back to life just like everyone else in this town"
Emma breathed heavily the rain soaking her clothes, skin, and even her bones.
It wasn't true.
He was lying.
He was crazy.
But nothing beeped.
Nothing beeped inside of her.
"Regina is The Evil Queen, and she is way worse than any fairytale story you ever read," Jefferson said "And I wish I had hurt her more. God knows that bitch deserves for…"
Emma hit Jefferson again, her fist exploding like a cannonball on his haw.
All she saw was red and she hit him again and then again all the rage and powerlessness she felt when he was hurting Regina commanding her movements.
She wanted him dead.
At that moment, she became The Evil Queen they all accused Regina to be, she became the force of cold vengeance, she became the mask of hatred as her fist damaged and drew blood from Jefferson's face.
She let the emptiness of her lie detector become her and consume everything inside her with darkness.
So she punched.
And punched.
And punched.
Until something grabbed her waist and pulled her away from Jefferson, her fist still punching the air when she was thrown on the grass.
"What the fuck, Emma," Graham said.
Emma looked at Graham angrily standing up from the ground.
"Get away," Emma said coldly.
"No," Graham said seriously, putting himself in front of Jefferson.
"He needs to pay for what he did," Emma said.
"I think he paid enough," Graham said back.
"This is none of your business," Emma shouted.
"Like hell it isn't," Graham shouted back "I promised Regina I would keep you away from him and this is exactly what I'm going to do"
Emma gave a step back when she heard Regina's name.
Something awakened inside of her, a small ember of light in the middle of that hollow darkness that took over her.
"I can understand your feelings," Graham said softly "But that is not the way we do it, Emma"
"I want him to pay," Emma whispered, her voice choked.
"And he will," Graham said "But not like that"
Emma nodded at Graham, giving her back to him and walking inside the woods.
She heard the faint sound of his voice carried by the wind calling an ambulance but Emma just walked and walked and walked.
Thinking how nothing inside of her beeped.
Thinking how desperately she needed something, anything inside of her to just beep.
Regina was walking from one side to the other in front of the door, fidgeting nervously with her fingers.
Graham had called her earlier to tell her he found Emma nearly punching Jefferson to death in the woods.
The man was in a bad state. His face was completely disfigured.
But Emma was fine.
Untouched by him.
Regina tried to feel Emma, tried to focus on the invisible cord that connect them together, tried to find her with her heart.
But Regina couldn't feel anything.
It was almost as if Emma was blocking her somehow.
Like she was empty inside.
Regina called Emma several times before she picked up the phone.
She let out a cry of relief when she heard her voice on the phone but that feeling only lasted one second before Emma's choked voice told her what happened.
And when Emma's protection was down, Regina felt everything, all at once.
And it was devastating.
The mix of guilt and fury she was feeling.
It was so familiar.
Regina remembered her young age before she was turned into The Evil Queen when they were still breaking her piece by piece.
So Regina begged Emma to come home.
Told her there was something she needed to know.
That she was ready to tell Emma her secret.
So now Regina was nervously waiting for her, her legs weak at every step she took in front of the door.
Henry was sitting by the foot of the staircase, his book resting on his knees.
"It will be okay, mom," Henry said.
Regina smiled sadly at him, trying to let his hope ease her racing heart.
But she knew the truth.
Once Emma knew who she was, what she did…
There wouldn't be any forgiveness.
The sound of the door being opened made Regina look in the direction of the door and Henry stand on his feet.
Emma pushed the door open, looking tired, gauze wrapped around her hand and dirt covering her clothes.
"Hey," Emma said.
Henry walked closer to Regina, his book tucked under his arm.
"Wow," Henry said "What happened, Ma?"
"Tough day at the office," Emma smiled at Henry.
But her smile didn't reach her eyes.
It barely touched her lips.
Emma closed the door behind her and walked to Regina, looking at her up and down, her face with a seriousness Regina had never seen there before.
Emma put her gauzed hand on Regina's cheek, the rough material of fabric and plaster scratching her skin.
"Are you okay?" Emma asked, her gaze searching Regina's
"Me?" Regina asked concerned taking a step closer to Emma. She put her hand on Emma's cheek, grains of wet earth tickling her fingers "Emma, look at you. What the hell happened?"
"I got Jefferson," That was all Emma said.
"Graham told me…"
"He got what he deserved," Emma said, taking a step back "Less, even"
"Mom, maybe we should wait before we tell her," Henry said looking up at Regina.
"No," Emma said seriously before looking at Regina "You said you were ready to tell me your secret. I'm ready to know"
"Don't you want to go take a shower first, warm up…"
"No," Emma said her voice a little cold "I want to know now"
"Let's go into the kitchen," Regina said before turning in Henry's direction "Henry, you should go to your room"
"Mom, no," Henry said "I can help"
"Go to your room, Henry," Emma said "This conversation is between me and Regina"
And just like that, Regina felt something drop in the pit of her stomach.
She looked at Emma and felt that hollow again inside of her, that lifeless darkness that caged her soul when she couldn't feel Emma.
She couldn't feel anything coming from her.
Nothing but her own fears and regrets which were enough to torment her racing heart.
Henry walked closer to Regina, trusting the book into her hands.
"You'll need this," Henry said "I love you, mom"
A small ember of hope flicked inside her heart.
It centered her long enough to take the book from Henry and smile at him.
Because this gesture, giving her the book he guarded with his life…
Trust.
"I love you too, Henry," Regina said.
Henry looked at Emma, both his voice and features seriously.
"I know you won't like what you will hear," Henry said "But mom had her reasons to do what she did. They weren't right and I can't defend her actions. But I understand them now"
"What are you talking about?" Emma asked.
"Just remember we are a family, Ma," Henry said.
And Regina's heart felt the love behind the words run through her veins and fill her heart with hope.
Henry walked up the staircase, both of them watching until he disappeared into the hallway.
"Are you going to tell me the truth?" Emma asked.
"I'm going to tell you everything," Regina nodded "Come on"
Regina walked to the kitchen, Emma following her close behind.
"Do you want something to eat?" Regina asked "You've been gone for a while and…"
"I don't want anything," Emma said, her voice slightly cold "I just need to know what this secret is. I just need to understand why it doesn't beep"
"What are you talking about?" Regina asked confused.
"My lie detector," Emma said, a soft tear rolling down her cheek "It didn't beep last night, and neither did this morning when I caught Jefferson. And I need to know why, I need to understand why all of this craziness sound true"
"Because they are," Regina said in a choked voice.
"What?" Emma asked tiredly.
Regina put the book on top of the island, looking down at it and running her fingers over the cover before looking at Emma again.
"What Henry has been telling you, what he told you when he ran away from home to find you in Boston," Regina said "It's all true"
"Regina…"
"I am The Evil Queen," Regina swallowed dry "I am the Evil Queen and I did cast the curse that trapped everyone from the Enchanted Forest in this town"
Emma walked to the stool on the island and sat down, covering her face with her hands.
She rubbed her eyes hard with her fingers and then took a deep breath before looking at Regina again.
"I thought you were going to tell me the truth," Emma said, "I thought you were going to tell me about your secret"
"I am," Regina said, her heart aching with pain "This is my secret Emma. I am The Evil Queen and you are The Savior"
"Oh my God," Emma gasped "Oh my God, how could I be so blind? It's you"
Emma rose from the stool and walked in Regina's direction, stopping in front of her. She put her hands on Regina's face, her eyes full of unfollowed tears.
"It's you. You are the one feeding Henry this fairytale crap. You are the one making our son sick"
"Emma…" Regina whispered.
She slid Emma's hands from her face, taking a step back.
"We need help," Emma said her voice choked "All three of us we need help. I'll call Archie, I'll explain to him the situation and then the three of us can go to therapy together…"
"Why can't you see what's right in front of your eyes?" Regina asked, interrupting Emma.
"Because what you are asking of me it's impossible" Emma shouted.
"Maybe in this world, yes," Regina said "But I come from a world of magic"
"Stop!" Emma said, her voice in a threatening tone.
"I am The Evil Queen," Regina said again "But there is more to my story than just the title"
"Regina, please," Emma cried "Please, can't you see this is crazy?"
"It's all true, Emma," Regina cried too "Trust me I never wanted you to find out. I did everything I could to keep the truth from you"
"Then why now?" Emma shouted, "Why telling me this now, why not just keep pretending?"
"Because I can not risk your life anymore," Regina said "I have too many enemies. And I can't protect you alone"
"Protect me?" Emma asked, "Is this because of Jefferson?"
"Him, Gold," Regina said "Who knows who else I harmed in the past will wake up to hurt you next"
"You are feeling guilty about what happened," Emma said calmly "And I get that, I was feeling the same. I don't know what happened between you and Jefferson but I know it's not some fairy tale bullshit"
"Emma, please, you have to listen to me," Regina said desperately walking closer to Emma "You have to let me explain"
"There is nothing to explain," Emma said "Not when what you are saying is crazy"
Regina sighed and walked to the island where the book was.
She opened the book carefully on the first page and then turned the book to Emma, her finger pointing at her image on the page.
"This happened on the day I invaded your parent's wedding," Regina said.
"I don't have parents," Emma said angrily.
"You do," Regina said "And they are right here in Storybrooke"
"Stop this," Emma said desperately almost sobbing "Please, you have to stop this"
"What can I do to make you believe?" Regina asked.
"Nothing," Emma said "I will never believe this"
Regina looked at Emma thoughtfully, before nodding slowly.
"There is something I need to show you"
The rain was falling heavily outside, shaking the leaves and threatening to rip the trees out of their soil.
Emma looked at the tree in front of the mausoleum, wrapping her arms around herself under the massive roof of the mausoleum structure.
It shook so heavily that Emma was sure it would get ripped apart from the roots that held it in place.
The roots that centered the tree.
That kept it up.
Emma felt a chill slide down her spine as the squeaking of keys in the lock echoed creepily against the howling wind.
It shook something inside her heart.
Like the tree about to be ripped apart from its soil.
Regina pushed the mausoleum door open, the heavy wood doors scraping against the floor.
"What is this place?" Emma asked, finally mouthing a word since they entered her bug and Regina told her to drive to the cemetery.
She couldn't voice anything as she drove.
She knew this was just another facet of Regina's craziness, the one she fed Henry.
She needed help.
They all needed it.
And Emma was determined to get it for them, to make them heal together from this madness.
"This is my father's final resting place," Regina said by the door.
Emma blinked her eyes once and then twice as she looked at Regina.
"You brought me to your father's grave?" Emma asked.
"Yes," Regina nodded before tilting her head to the side "Come on"
Emma followed Regina inside, the heavy air mixed with dust inside the mausoleum oppressing something inside of her.
Emma looked at the coffin, the stone structure, the fresh flowers on the corner of the coffin, and then at the name engraved there.
"Henry," Emma whispered.
"His name was to honor my father," Regina said, her voice choked "He was a good man who didn't always know how to do good but certainly didn't deserve the end he had"
"How did he die?" Emma asked.
"I killed him," Regina swallowed dry.
"What?" Emma asked, taking a step back.
Even though something whispered inside of her that she didn't need to be afraid.
Not of her.
Never of her.
"I needed his heart to enact the curse," Regina said sadly running her fingers over the stone "The heart of the thing you love most"
"Regina…" Emma sighed.
But before she could say anything else Regina was sliding the thumb to the side and Emma nearly lost her breath when she saw the hole in the floor.
"Shall we?" Regina asked.
Emma swallowed dry and nodded.
Regina walked ahead of her and Emma waited for that voice of consciousness inside of her, the one that should be screaming at her to run.
But fear never took over her.
At least not the kind of fear she should feel about following a woman, who just admit to killing her father, down a hole in the ground of a mausoleum.
Because Regina didn't scare her.
How could she, when Regina was half her heart?
Emma cracked her neck to the side and then ventured down the stairs, her eyes roaming the stone walls and everything else all at once.
"What is this place?" Emma asked.
"This is my vault," Regina said back, still walking to the main entrance, Henry's book tucked under her arm.
"Your vault?" Emma asked, following her.
"Yes, my vault,"
Regina stopped in the middle of the chamber and turned around to look at Emma.
"It was a hiding place in case my curse was ever broken," Regina said "And also the place where I stored most of my things from the castle and a little bit of magic"
"Magic?" Emma scoffed.
"Mostly potion ingredients," Regina said back.
"Okay," Emma laughed lightly "I'll admit, the whole vault under a mausoleum is very creepy, which reinforces my theory that you need therapy. We all do"
"Emma, this isn't about therapy," Regina said "This isn't about things from this world because the rules of this world aren't the rules of ours"
"There are no worlds, Regina," Emma said desperately "There is just one world, this world, the one we are standing in right now. The real one"
"This is just one world, Emma," Regina said "And if you let me, I'll tell you the story of how we all came to this place"
"I'm not interested in fairy tale bullshit," Emma said angrily.
She looked at Regina, looking and looking and looking.
Looking for that place inside of her that should be beeping, that place inside of her that should be telling her this was all a lie.
But that place inside of her was silent.
And the hollow of that silence was threatening to consume everything inside of Emma.
Everything she ever wished for, the life she made after that ten-year-old boy knocked on her door on her twenty-eight birthday started to feel like sand slipping through her fingers.
And Emma was desperate to hold on to that sand, to keep it in place, to put it together again.
"It's not bullshit," Regina said "It's true"
"No, it isn't," Emma said coldly to the bones.
Emma took a step in Regina's direction, ready to try everything to make her see some sense again when her ears were suddenly assaulted by a loud hum.
It took over every inch of that small chamber, reverberating through the stone walls and all the strange objects scattered everywhere.
Even the cobwebs trembled with the hum.
"What is that noise?" Emma asked uncomfortably.
Regina looked at her surprised, lips slightly parted.
"You can hear it?" Regina asked.
"Yeah, it's pretty fucking loud," Emma said "Is there an electricity station near the cemetery?"
"It's the hearts," Regina said.
"The hearts?" Emma asked.
"The hearts I ripped out of my subjects chest," Regina said "The hearts I kept"
"Oh my God," Emma sighed "Are you even listening to yourself?"
"I'll show you," Regina said.
Regina walked past Emma, back into the dark hallway going in the direction of another chamber.
Emma followed her there, the hum getting louder and louder and louder.
It almost felt like she had a hive inside her head.
It made it hard for her to think, to comprehend the insanity of all of this.
Regina pulled a black curtain to the side, revealing a wall full of golden little drawers.
The golden drawers were glowing red through the small transparent circle they had in the middle, the reverberations of the hum rippling through Emma's skin.
She could feel goosebumps forming in her arms.
Her own heart was beating faster inside her chest.
Regina pressed her hand against one of the drawers. The drawer slid open and Regina put her hand inside taking a small glowing object that looked like glass with a light inside.
"This is a heart," Regina said turning her back to look at Emma.
"No, it isn't," Emma said "I know what a human heart looks like, Regina"
"This is an enchanted heart," Regina said "When taken from a person's chest it will do everything I command"
"Of course it will," Emma laughed sarcastically, a tear falling down her face.
She wasn't sure how long she would be able to take this anymore.
Wasn't sure her heart was ready to be shattered like this.
Because it felt like she was about to be ripped apart.
"Emma, you have to believe," Regina said desperately "You have to believe because you are The Savior. You are the only one who can break the curse"
"Why would you even want that?" Emma shouted "Why would you want me to break your curse?"
"Because I vowed to never take anything away from you anymore," Regina said "Because I…"
"Do you know what I want?" Emma interrupted her "I want things to go back to the way they were. I want to go back to the lake house where we were happy, I want to get help for you and Henry I want…"
Emma cleared the tears from her face, her eyes landing on the book Regina was holding.
"I want to destroy the thing that is destroying our lives," Emma said looking at the book "I want to watch it burn until it becomes nothing but ashes"
Emma took a step closer to Regina, brutally pulling the book from her hands.
But the second she held the book, a golden glow blinded her eyes and then ran through her flesh and bones like a shadow curling around her heart before spreading through her body.
Emma saw everything.
She saw a Forest, so green and bright.
She saw a young girl laughing with her father on top of a horse.
She saw a mother punishing the child.
Severely. Almost brutally.
It was Regina.
She could feel it in her heart.
Her pain.
Her desperation to please her mother.
Then the image faded to Regina as a young woman.
She saw her mother holding her up in the air even though nothing was around her, torturing her for reasons Emma could not understand.
She saw her running in the direction of a boy in the stables kissing him.
She saw the love between them and Emma couldn't bring herself to feel jealous.
Because the boy was good to her when the mother wasn't.
When the father was too weak to fight back for his daughter.
She saw Regina running after a horse, saving a little girl.
She told the girl a secret. But the girl did not keep the secret and told it to the one person she was never supposed to.
She saw Regina with her heart bleeding when the boy fell dead in her arms by her mother's hand.
Then she saw the King, asking for her hand in marriage and the mother saying yes.
He was at least three times older than her.
Regina couldn't be more than sixteen while the man looked about fifth.
She saw the girl, Snow White, celebrate the marriage while Regina grew depressed.
She saw the imp who appeared to her, offering his help.
Saw the moment of fury when Regina threw her mother through an enchanted mirror.
She saw the wedding and how brutal her first time was.
Saw her crying, curling up on the balcony of her bedroom, from both pain and desperation.
She was trapped.
She felt like a mouse inside a maze with no way out.
She saw Regina trying to love the girl who took everything away from her.
Then she saw her leaning magic to be free.
Emma could feel everything inside of her as if they were all her emotions.
She saw everything.
How Regina was slowly and methodically manipulated.
How her hatred for Snow White grew, and how it was fed to her by the same people who wanted to use her.
She felt her heart turn dark, day by day, inch by inch.
Until there was nothing left inside.
Until she didn't even know what she was hating anymore.
Until there was only vengeance there.
Until she turned into The Evil Queen.
And how the huntsman Regina hired to kill Snow White let her go.
And then the game of cat and mouse began.
And Emma couldn't tell who was truly the cat and who was the mouse.
She saw all the evil deeds Regina did.
She saw her crashing Snow White and Prince Charming's wedding, threatening them with her dark curse.
And then she saw Snow White giving birth to a baby.
Saw Prince Charming carry the baby to the wardrobe.
There was a blanket wrapped around the baby, with a name knitted on the fabric.
Emma.
Her baby blanket.
Her.
Find us.
Emma dropped the book on the floor near her feet gasping for air.
She looked at Regina, terror squeezing the life out of her heart.
"You," Emma whispered, looking at Regina.
"What happened?" Regina asked.
"I saw everything," Emma said, her tone scared.
"Emma," Regina said taking a step closer.
And Emma instinctively took a step back.
The hurt on Regina's features was so evident, her eyes that could never hide anything filled with sadness.
But Emma couldn't bring herself to care.
"I'm sorry," Regina said her voice broken.
"You are evil," Emma said.
And so she simply fled, into the hall, up the stairs, and out to the heavy rain that fell miserably from the sky, completely ignoring Regina's pleas behind her and her agonized soul telling her to go back.
Those were two long weeks, huh?
Happy 2023!