EPISODE: INTERLUDES And INTERCESSIONS

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

The first thing Olivia was aware of was warmth. It's Fitz, her mind tells her - it's her Fitz. In spite of everything, she's here in his arms.

And that - that was - that is - everything.

The room is still dark but somehow she could sense that dawn couldn't be too far away; her thoughts hover along the edges of sleep, her mind tired of purposefully hiding from too many unwanted memories - of too many unwanted dreams.

She doesn't move, she doesn't want to move. Fitz is on his back, one arm wrapped around her. Her head is pillowed on his chest and the steady beat of his heart echoed in sync with hers. His breathing, just as slow and steady, steadies her own.

It allows Olivia's mind to drift, gifting her with the ability to embrace the safety and permission his embrace offers, to allow her to acknowledge her reluctance to come to full wakefulness and face the day.

As if Fitz sensed the direction in her thoughts even in his sleep, the arm holding her close tightened slowly, drawing her even closer against his body.

Rather than face the day and the facts that it held, it was easier to let her senses take command of it all, allow herself to bask in this grace that was beyond rational words in exchange for the simple sensation of Fitz's warmth surrounding her, for the texture of the soft curls of the hair of his smoothly muscled chest under her cheek, the gentle cadence of his breathing and the strong and steady heart beating beneath her ear. The scent of him - of them - is all around her, and in this moment, it's everything.

It's home.

In his arms, finally and forever, Olivia knows she's home.

She floats then, in a soft haze until she senses Fitz as he woke up. Olivia tilts her gaze upward to meet his. His eyes were soft and still slightly hooded from sleep, his hair slightly mussed with that one stubborn curl falling over his brow in the way she loved and the way he was smiling at her was a balm to both her heart and mind.

"Hi."

Olivia shifts herself so that they are face to face. "Hi."

She can't stop looking at him, even though the expression she sees is as familiar to her as her own. Her eyes travel over every inch of him, from the firm curve of his lips, to the well-formed, well-loved planes and contours of his face.

His smile still held a hint of drowsiness, reminding her of the emotional storm they had endured only hours ago, but what felt like it had been a lifetime ago. And his eyes as they locked onto hers - they were soft and sure - but most of all they were happy.

Olivia leans forward and whispers "Thank you…" against his lips. One day she'll remember that he's told her over and over and over again that she never has to thank him for anything, but right now, he's smiling again, even wider this time. And despite her weariness, despite her lingering fears - she's smiling too.

"I know you must have a ton of work to get to." Olivia felt an apology was called for. She tried to tell herself that she was feeling the exhaustion of the night too, not that this was all a bad thing. Yes, there was the emotional aftermath of her panic attack to deal with, but there was the sweet tiredness of their love making to deal with as well…

A yawn caught her by surprise and then Fitz was doing the same, but then again - yawns after all were very catching… and neither of them was ready to trade the reality of the here and now for what was yet to come.

"One minute?" Fitz murmured.

"One minute." she smiled, because she knows she doesn't have to hide herself in this moment.

"I think we can do a little better than that."

She smiles again as Fitz gathered her closer in his arms, shifting her so that her head is tucked in the space beneath his chin. One hand came up to smooth and stroke her hair, slow and gentle, reminding her that whatever else had happened, in the here and now she was safe. She was loved. She was here.

With that uppermost in her thoughts, Olivia drifted back into sleep.

Fitz felt the moment Olivia relaxed back into sleep. He closed his eyes as well, even though he knew that he was probably awake for the rest of the day. His hand continued to run itself through Olivia's hair, his thoughts far away. He thought of everything they'd overcome to get to this place, even such a simple thing like sharing a bed was a milestone.

This was a turning point in their relationship, whether Olivia had recognized it or not. She had run from something in her mind that she couldn't deal with, but this time, she'd run to him. Fitz didn't doubt that she - they - had a long way to go. But at least they were on their way.

It was a deep and healing sleep that Olivia had fallen back into; with Fitz's arms - with Fitz's love surrounding her, how could it be anything else? When she woke again, it was to see Fitz sitting in one of a pair of chairs placed in front of the windows, fully dressed.

For a moment, his attention remained on the folder in his hands, but then, as if he sensed her awakening, his gaze shifted to hers and the smile that spread across his face lit her heart.

"Hey you, sleepyhead - don't you move." He stood up and only then did Olivia note the rolling serving cart at his side and the scent of food and drink rising up to fill the room.

She watched as Fitz poured something hot and steaming into a mug.

"Chamomile lavender tea." He explained as he added honey, stirred it briefly and brought it to her. Fitz's smile was tender and adoring - and everything - as he sat beside her. "No caffeine for you this morning."

Olivia had no desire to argue with him. Instead she was grateful for the warmth of his touch as he handed the mug to her, grateful for the warmth of the tea as she sipped at it and the silken sensation of the honey as it slid down her throat, and even more grateful for the warmth of Fitz's presence and the warmth of his touch as their fingers slid against one another.

It reminded her of the tension and scratchiness that had been inside her when she'd first arrived - and that reminded her of the raw emotion that had been on display last night. That memory made her even more aware of the nakedness she'd shown him - it was a nakedness that had nothing with her lack of clothing and everything with who and what she was - who and what they were.

"Drink up." Fitz said.

She took another deep swallow. "What time is it?"

"A little after ten." It was a rare thing for Olivia to sleep so late. Instinct made her move as if she were about to jump out the bed.

"No, Olivia - stand down."

"But Fitz -"

"No buts." His voice was soft but there was no mistaking the tender command beneath it. "You need to take a personal day - you're taking a personal day."

"I don't have time for personal days - " Olivia protested. Well, half-protested to be honest. She still feels like a wrung-out towel, all twisty and limp inside - but she's powered through this kind of thing before. "I've got clients at OPA and the press schedule to handle for you -"

Fitz cut her off, eyes going serious in spite of the smile that lingered on his face. "It wasn't that long ago when I pushed myself past my limits - don't you think that I've learned to see it in someone else?"

She couldn't argue with that fact, so Olivia didn't try. "I must look a mess." She said, changing the subject, running her fingers through her tangled hair.

"You look beautiful." She did. Her eyes might be a little red from all the tears she'd cried, her hair a little wild, released from its usual polished waves, but nothing, nothing, could ever dim her beauty. Unable to help himself, Fitz reached out and let his fingers trail themselves along her cheek. "You need some you time, Olivia."

A part of her knew that he was right. She was feeling all sorts of emotions and feeling drained and utterly spent was at the top of the list. In between what she knows now was a panic attack and all the thoughts that had driven her to it - there's nothing she'd rather do than just sleep. But she's in the White House. She can't afford to be seen here. More importantly - Fitz can't afford for her to be seen here.

It was as though Fitz could read her thoughts. "I have a plan. Take the day and go to Camp David. I'd go with you right now, but I have the fund raiser this evening and -"

"Drink some more of tea before it goes cold." Fitz's voice was a gentle command. The look in his eyes said clearly that he wasn't going to continue until she did. "Cyrus can handle anything that needs doing. I need you at the top of your game, and you can't give that to me right now. You don't have it in you and we both know it."

His voice softened. "You need this, Olivia. Let me give it to you. I know that you don't particularly care for it, but let me take care of you."

How could she argue against what he was saying?" Fitz was making perfect sense, but yet there was a part of her that still wanted to resist - and to tell the truth, she didn't even really know why.

"I know that there's a lot on your plate right now - there's a lot on both of our plates." Fitz said. "But you need to take the time to take care of you. And because of last night, we need the time to take care of us."

"About last night, Fitz…" Olivia didn't know how to explain herself. She couldn't get words past the sudden tightness in her throat. She felt her body tense up from just thinking about trying to figure out where to start and she wondered if she could start to explain - she felt her heart begin to pound - she hoped Fitz wouldn't notice.

He did. Of course he did. She watched as Fitz reached out and took one of her hands in his. He looked down at her hand in his for a moment, then began slowly stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

Fitz looked up at her and shook his head. "We're not doing that now. I can see that you're not ready and so can you."

"But I -" She wanted to tell him that it wasn't right that she'd dumped her emotional mess on him with no warning, but again the words choked in her throat and Olivia couldn't get the words out.

"But nothing." Fitz stopped her again. "Didn't you hear what I just said? We are not doing this now, Olivia."

She was surprised by the sudden sternness in Fitz's voice. "You're not ready. You need time and that's what I'm trying to give you."

His eyes on her were relentless and neither one of them spoke for a long moment until Fitz broke the silence between them.

"I'm sending you up to Camp David." Fitz said. He held up a hand to forestall the protest he knew would come. "It's a done deal, Livvie. I've called ahead, and the main cabin has been stocked with every thing and anything you could want - including popcorn." He added with a gentle smile.

"But I can't - there's so much to do -"

"Stand down, Livvie. Whatever needs doing can wait." Fitz had been trying to keep his tone light, but now he let some of his real concern show. "I've never seen you like you were last night."

He watched as her gaze dropped from his for a moment. "No, don't do that. You don't ever have to do that with me, remember?"

"I'm sorry you saw me like that-"

"Don't you ever be sorry about who you are or what you're feeling." He reassured her. "And that's why you're going up to Camp David. You're going up there to rest and rejuvenate in the peace and quiet - and I'll be up there as soon as I'm done with this GOP fundraiser."

She remembered that it was this evening. "We should be doing a prep session -"

"Cyrus can handle that too."

She tried again. "Even if I wanted to - I don't even have any clothes to take with me."

"That's handled too. Tom will swing you by your apartment so you can pack a small bag. We're only going to be there overnight - and part of Thursday, I'm thinking." He thought of his other obligations and shrugged inwardly; they'd work it all out somehow.

Olivia shook her head. "How are you going to explain being away from the White House overnight?"

Fitz allowed himself a small grin. "I'm the President, Livvie. Who do you think I have to explain myself to if I decide I need a break?"

"Do you want a list?" Even though she could see that this was a losing argument, she had to at least try and make him see sense. "You shouldn't do this, Fitz. Not for me - I love that you want to take care of me, but we still have to be careful and -"

He leaned forward and brushed a soft kiss against her lips. "I should. I can't think of a better reason why I should. You need some down time. We'll both get a good night's sleep, eat a decent breakfast, maybe go for a walk in the woods. We'll talk - or not talk - whatever you want to do - whatever you need to do."

Fitz saw the doubt on her face. "We can do this, Livvie. You need it - and I want it. After all, the work will still be here when we get back."

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

Fitz smiled at her. "You're just figuring that out?"