Chapter 5

Elizabeth was making her rounds to the Tanner farm again. She was eager to see the children, and ascertain Mrs. Tanner's well-being. When she arrived, however, she found that Mrs. Tanner was in labour. She had appeared larger than any pregnant woman Lizzy had ever seen before, and so it was no surprise she was giving birth a little early.

Lizzy immediately summoned the midwife, and brought the children out into the yard to play, distracting them while their mother laboured. Mr. Tanner soon arrived, summoned by neighbours, and Elizabeth was glad to see him there to support his wife.

Two hours later, Mrs. Tanner had given birth to twin boys. Both parents were ecstatic, and Elizabeth brought the three older children inside to meet their new brothers. She did wonder how the Tanners would manage financially with five young children. She felt that pang in her heart again as she always did when she visited the Tanners. Would it ever go away?

When Lizzy returned home, she found the house in a state of excitement. Mr. Collins had apparently proposed to Mary, and been accepted. Elizabeth was concerned that her sister had been pressured into it by their mother, but Mary was smiling and looked happy, as did Mr. Collins. Elizabeth congratulated them, but still managed to find time to speak with her sister privately later.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Mary?" she asked in concern. "Mama is not pressuring you into this, is she?"

Mary shook her head. "She is not. Do not worry, Lizzy. I am not at all unhappy. Mr. Collins might not be the most intelligent of men, but he is a good man, and a respectable one. I did not expect to make a better match. And this way, I shall be mistress of Longbourn one day."

Elizabeth was still concerned, but since her sister seemed firm, she just smiled and said she hoped Mary and Mr. Collins would be happy together.

As for her own happiness, she was glad to see the Darcy siblings and Mr. Bingley come to visit again and join in the congratulations. She knew she should not be daydreaming about becoming Mr. Darcy's wife – that would never be possible, no matter what her mother said – but she could not help but fall in love with him a little more each time they met.

A few days had passed since Mr. Darcy's revelation to Mr. Bennet, and already Wickham had apparently found the area so unwelcoming, that it was rumoured he was thinking of transferring to another regiment. Darcy was glad to hear this, although he wondered when the day would come when he would call in Wickham's debts and be done with him for good. Wickham sowed evil wherever her went; Darcy knew that well. Fortunately he had never honed his skills to try to victimize Georgiana. Darcy would not have held back his retribution if Wickham had attempted that.

Meanwhile, his affection and admiration for Miss Elizabeth was growing every day. He saw the Bennets almost every day, either visiting at Longbourn, or having the ladies come to Netherfield. Miss Bingley had not toned down her sneering deprecations of Elizabeth, and Darcy concluded that either Bingley had said nothing to his sister, or she had not listened to his exhortations. Miss Elizabeth was always the perfect lady, however, and never rose to Miss Bingley's bait, always responding with light, witty comments that mostly went over Miss Bingley's head.

Mr. Darcy was less sure about Elizabeth's feelings for him. She was a very proper lady, and would never let her feelings show unless the gentleman expressed an interest first; and yet, she had told him that she enjoyed his company that day in the Netherfield library. She always appeared glad to see him. She and Georgiana had become friends, and Darcy thought that she was his friend too. Was he wrong to think she might accept him if he proposed? He knew she would not accept him for his money and connections. She would only marry for love. Did she love him?

He could no longer imagine his life without Elizabeth in it. Her sunny personality, her vivacity and wit, her kindness and compassion for those less fortunate, all appealed to him greatly. He could imagine her being a great mistress of Pemberly and mother to their children. Georgiana already loved her; it would not be hard for the rest of his family to accept her, excepting Lady Catherine of course, but he did not much care what she thought. His cousin, James de Bourgh, had taken control of Rosings after the death of his father, Sir Lewis, a couple months before. He would certainly not permit his sister to be forced into marriage with anyone. Darcy knew that James was fond and protective of Anne, and was determined to get her out from under their mother's control.

Darcy decided he would use the Netherfield Ball to gauge whether Miss Elizabeth had any strong feelings for him. He would not risk a rejection until he was reasonably sure where her affections lay.

Bingley had planned the ball for the 26th of November. When they arrived at Longbourn to deliver the invitation in person, Bingley immediately took the opportunity to ask Jane for the first dance. Darcy, meanwhile, had gone to Elizabeth's side and greeted her softly.

"Hello, Mr. Darcy," she said. "It is a pleasure to see you again."

"You as well, Miss Elizabeth. I was wondering if you would do me the honour of sitting out the first dance with me?" He knew he was asking a lot. She was a young, healthy woman, and clearly enjoyed dancing. Why would she want to sit on the side of the ballroom with a cripple?

But Elizabeth blushed. "I would enjoy that very much, Mr. Darcy."

Darcy felt relief at once, so much so that he dared more. "Perhaps you would also partake of supper that night with me as well?"

If possible, Elizabeth's face blushed redder. "I would be delighted."

Darcy felt his heart lighten. He knew that Elizabeth did not mind his handicap. She had never stared at him, looked disgusted, or even asked about it. Even Miss Bingley, with all her conniving, could not help looking revolted at times at his twisted hand and foot. He knew that Elizabeth truly did not care.

The morning of the ball, Lydia threw an almighty tantrum. Not that she had not thrown one before, but this one was especially vituperative. Elizabeth scolded her.

"You have no idea what kind of dangers there are in the world for young, careless ladies such as yourself," she said.

"Listen to your sister!" Mrs. Bennet admonished. "Lizzy is very wise and you would do well to emulate her."

"I am tired of hearing how wise, how intelligent, and how beautiful Lizzy and Jane are," Lydia railed. "They get to have all the fun, and I have to stay at home."

Lydia had been especially upset since Kitty, at age seventeen, was being allowed to go for a short time to the ball and dance with family members only, before retiring before supper.

"You are at a vulnerable age where everything seems fun," Elizabeth said. "But that very mindset will get you into trouble."

"Kitty gets to go," Lydia pouted.

"Kitty is almost eighteen," said Mrs. Bennet. "And she will only dance with family members."

"Miss Darcy will not be attending either, and she is sixteen," added Elizabeth.

That seemed to silence Lydia finally. She had talked with Georgiana on her various visits to Longbourn with her brother, and Lydia clearly admired the lady-like and proper young woman.

"Miss Darcy is a very genteel young lady," put in Mrs. Bennet. "You would do well to emulate her as well."

Lydia made a face, but she argued no more.

Mr. Collins was leaving the next day to return to Kent, in order to prepare the parsonage for its new mistress. He and Mary would be wed in six weeks, just after Christmas. Mr. Collins was looking forward to the ball and one more evening with his fiancée, and asked all the Bennet sisters for a set during the evening. Elizabeth found that the obsequious man was not quite so bad as she originally thought, and thought that Mary might actually be happy with him. She would be able to manage such a husband well, and Longbourn would be in good hands after her father passed with Mary as mistress.

So it was that all seven of them climbed into the carriage to go to Netherfield that night, leaving Lydia under the watchful eye of Mrs. Hill.

Elizabeth was eager to spend two dances with Mr. Darcy, even if his infirmity prevented him from actually dancing. She was more excited to simply spend time with him. She knew she should not entertain such hopes, and she tried to repress them as the carriage trundled toward Netherfield. Still, she could not help a leap of her heart as Mr. Darcy greeted her when they entered the ballroom. He limped forward with his cane, and bowed over Elizabeth's hand.

"You look lovely this evening, Miss Elizabeth," he said softly.

"Thank you very much, sir," she replied, blushing.

Her heart was fluttering madly at the admiring look at his face. She reminded herself sternly that she could not expect anything from this man. It did not matter that he was the most honourable, intelligent, handsome, and kind man she had ever known. She was not worthy of him. She could never be his wife.

Darcy thought Elizabeth looked enchanting this evening, dressed in a white gown with seed pearls threaded through her curly chestnut hair. He had never seen eyes like hers: a normal brown shade, but shining with intelligence and a depth of expression that made them especially fine. He was more certain than ever this evening that they were shining in admiration for him. They sat out the first dance together, discussing their plans for Christmas. Elizabeth revealed that her sister Mary and Mr. Collins would be married in early January, and that her maternal relatives, the Gardiners, would be coming from London for the Christmas season.

"And you, sir? What are your and Georgiana's plans for Christmastide?" Elizabeth asked.

"We usually spend it together at Pemberley, but this year perhaps we will remain in Hertfordshire, if there is enough inducement." He looked at her earnestly.

She blushed and gazed down at her hands. "I am sure all your friends in Hertfordshire would miss you very much if you left," she said softly, and Darcy was encouraged by both her words and her manner.

"Miss Bingley did a wonderful job with the ball," Elizabeth said, and Darcy marvelled that she could so genuinely compliment a woman who had been so unkind to her.

"She did," he admitted. He could see Miss Bingley out of the corner of his eye, glaring at Elizabeth; but fortunately she had said nothing more to Darcy since he had admonished her that day in the Netherfield gardens. Her verbal attacks against Elizabeth had not ceased, however, and Darcy was finding himself more and more annoyed with Bingley for not taking control of his shrewish sister. Mrs. Hurst was less vocal in her dislike, but only by a little.

Darcy simply ignored them, as he had grown accustomed to doing. He spent the evening enjoying Miss Elizabeth's company, both during the first dance and during supper. Everything he saw supported his supposition that Elizabeth cared for him. He was almost tempted to blurt out a proposal that evening; but he wanted privacy and the right mood for the occasion. He would wait for tomorrow.

Elizabeth had thoroughly enjoyed the ball, and especially Mr. Darcy's attentions, although she knew she should not rejoice in such a thing. She should be discouraging him, rather. But she found she could not help but smile and be glad when he spoke to her, or smiled at her, or looked at her in a certain way.

Jane had received just as much attention from Mr. Bingley; but the oldest Bennet sister was not as pleased by it. By this time, Elizabeth knew Jane's feelings about the man, and could support her.

"What can he mean by it?" asked Jane. "He has practically all but declared to the neighbourhood that he is going to propose. My gentle encouragements toward other ladies have fallen on deaf ears. He is not the type of man I look for in a husband, and I hope he will understand my feelings and cease his attentions soon."

"I do not think he is a bad man," put in Elizabeth.

"Certainly not," agreed Jane. "But he is immature, in my opinion. He spends all his time in gaiety and does not seem to be serious about anything. And he seems to have no control over the malice of his sisters."

"Perhaps he will propose soon. Then you can turn him down, and he will bother you know more."

"I do not want him to propose! How awkward that would be!" But she looked at her sister with a smile. "But I have an idea someone might propose to you soon."

Elizabeth felt a pang in her heart. "Do not speak of such things, Jane. You know I could never marry Mr. Darcy, even if he did propose."

"You know I agree with Mama on this issue. There is no reason why you would not make a fine wife for any man."

Elizabeth looked wistful, but she did not answer.