CHAPTER 51
"I think you hit a nerve with the re-election protocol." Cyrus said. "You know that she'd love nothing better than to get herself on the inside track. I'm pretty sure that her coming directly to me was her opening gambit to position herself closer to Fitz as well as this campaign that we're about to start."
"No doubt." Olivia agreed.
She felt Cyrus's gaze harden a little on her as well as sudden sternness in his tone. "And what is this about joy? Joy is for fairy tales - and I don't need to tell you that life is not a fairytale."
"I know that all too well, Cy - and yet -" Olivia said. As sharp as Cyrus' voice had been - hers was the opposite, softer still, because in her mind there was nothing to argue about. " - and yet, that doesn't make joy any less real."
She'd learned that the hard way - by comparing the lack of it to what she had now. Joy was just as real as anything else in this life. The thought of watching Fitz running the campaign that he wanted, the way that he wanted, and winning this election by the will of the people and not the machinations that had put him there the first time around - wasn't that the very definition of joy?
Yes, she thought, remembering the fire in his eyes whenever he talked about it - that was very much a source of joy for him. Olivia knew him because he'd let her know him - and there was no mistaking how much Fitz wanted and needed this. And the fact that she could be a part of Fitz's life as he pursued his dreams - on his terms, on their terms - yes, that was joy.
Her thoughts warmed her heart and brought a smile to her lips. "Yes, I'm talking about joy. Joy is about allowing happiness to fill the empty spaces inside you, Cy. It's not about ignoring the world." She added, seeing the rebuttal hovering on Cyrus' lips and shutting it down with a look.
"We can be happy or joyful or whatever later; we have a fight ahead of us, in spite of Fitz's popularity with the public." Cyrus visibly backed down from whatever reprimand he'd been about to offer. "He's a wild card among the more conservative political minded portion of the base, Liv - and an outright danger to the most narrow-minded among them. We need to look at things the way they are, not the way we would have them be."
"I'm not looking at this through any rose-colored glasses and neither is Fitz. We know that this election isn't going to be just handed to him and truthfully, that's just the way Fitz wants it and we both know why." Olivia said and Cyrus accepted the hit with a tiny nod. "I'm talking about being happy, content and grateful in the here and now. That's joy."
Re-energized by her own words, she stood up and started pacing a little, taking that time to putting her thoughts in order. When she had, Olivia stopped in front of Cyrus to look him in the eye. "Are you going to tell me that you aren't the least little bit happy right now? You're right about power in DC. I know all about power - and we both know that you are one of the most powerful men in the world -"
"-and you, Ms. Pope, are one of the most powerful women in the world - even if it's mostly behind the scenes." Cyrus reminded her. "That's about to change, you know. Are you ready to take joy in that?"
It was Olivia's turn to nod; power and influence was an intoxicating mix, and after she had accepted Cyrus' offer to help turn around a presidential campaign it had quickly become a part of her as much as breathing and had fueled her drive to create OPA after that. It had given her a unique position in DC politics, mostly invisible to the uninitiated, but acknowledged by those who knew better. Elizabeth North for one example; the Caldwells, for another.
But just like she could have never imagined the storms that she'd ended up going through, Olivia hadn't counted on the joy that had come with them.
"I'll deal with that when the time comes. We're talking about you right now." She said. "You have power, influence - you have James and you have Ella - are you going to sit there and tell me that you aren't happy - that there's no joy in your life right now?"
His expression went unreadable as soon as she spoke, and Olivia knew enough not to push him for an answer. Maybe he hadn't stopped to think about it before now; maybe he had denied himself the choice to think about it because Cyrus still saw love as a weakness to be exploited. Olivia has known him long enough to know his past thoughts on the subject of love, but this was a new time and a new day and if she had to, she'd drag Cyrus kicking and screaming into the light.
She came out of her thoughts to notice that he was studying her just as she was studying him and after a moment her lips curved into a smile even as Cyrus frowned.
"It's a possibility." He finally growled at her.
"Just a possibility?"
"What's your point?"
"My point is - that kind of joy, that kind of happiness puts things in perspective." Olivia spoke slowly, because some of this was just coming to her even as she spoke the words.
"And what new perspective is this?"
Olivia sighed; Cyrus wouldn't be Cyrus without his cynicism. "I asked myself the same question not too long ago - and it came to me that it's all a matter of balance, really - learning to focus on what's really important in the moment."
"That's fine." Cyrus said. "Just as long as this balancing act doesn't interfere with the campaign."
"That's the cherry on top - the focus, the fulcrum - of this balancing act is the fact that we've got an election to win." Olivia grinned as she sat back down next to Cyrus and gave him a playful nudge. "Tell me you're not looking forward to this fight - I dare you."
"It may turn into an uphill battle." Cyrus warned.
"And don't you love it." Olivia knew what would get him going. "We're talking shifting odds, co-opting new allies and thwarting new opponents, uncovering all kinds of dastardly plots and planting a few of our own if necessary - and if that isn't a challenge to look forward to, I don't know what is." She nudged him again. "We've got an election to win. Say it like you mean it, Cyrus."
Her words did exactly what she'd hoped they would. There was the spark in his eye and fire in his words she'd been looking for as Cyrus the Dragonslayer came back to life. "I do mean it - you want to see me go after my joy, then here it is - we've got an election to win."
"Then let's get to work on that, shall we?"
"Ladies first." Cyrus waved his hand at her.
"Wasn't that a republican version of a lady who just left here?" Olivia rolled her eyes at the door. "I'm no lady."
"I know -" Cyrus grinned. "- that's part of what's going to make this so fun."
It was Olivia's turn to meet his grin with one of her own.
"Have you spoken with Cyrus?" Olivia snuggled herself a little deeper into her pillows, wineglass in hand. It was a little after eleven in the evening, she in her bed and Fitz in his hotel room in New York City and while they both knew they should be sleeping, recharging for the hectic schedule that tomorrow promised, neither one of them was about to give up what had become the habit of a nightly phone call whenever they found themselves spending the night away from one another. She couldn't rest without the sound of his baritone voice echoing in her ears as she fell asleep and Olivia was sure it was the same for Fitz.
"Of course. You and I both know there's no way he's letting me go for the evening without tucking me in with his version of a bedtime story." His laughter was warm and low in her ear, sweeter than the wine on her lips.
"And what story was that?"
Fitz briefly ran over most of the conversation before focusing on the one thought that had remained uppermost in his mind. "After the NYSE opening, the meeting with the Congressional Black Caucus is confirmed."
"Cyrus got them to agree to meet with you." This was something Fitz had put on his wish list early in their campaign planning. It must have been a last minute agreement; Olivia knew that it hadn't happened before she had Cyrus had finished their meeting or else he would have told her. "That's great, Fitz."
"I hope so."
There was something unsaid in his voice and Olivia picked up on it instantly. "Fitz, what is it?"
"It's nothing." Fitz was quick to answer, but that wasn't entirely true and it only took him a heartbeat to realize that Olivia knew it just as well as he did. The way she said his name only confirmed it.
"Fitz…"
"It's just my nerves." He admitted."The Caucus is made up of mostly democrats - for very good reasons - and even though they know and I know that they'll have their own candidate, I want - I need - them to know that I have every intention of serving all the people of this country as I go into my second term."
He paused to take another swallow of scotch and this time it was a big one. "And then there's the summit that we're trying to put together - that involves a great many of their constituents on personal - not just political - levels - that makes it that much more important that I get their input."
"The fact that you want to meet with them informally and away from Washington to listen to what they have to say should tell them that. It shows that you're not grandstanding for the press or anyone else."
"You always know the right thing to say, Livvie."
"And you always know the right thing to do."
"That's what makes us such an unstoppable team." Fitz said. He took a sip from his glass, this time the scotch was a comfort, joining the warmth in his head and in his heart, knowing that this was not only a dream become truth, but a dream shared with the woman he loved. For a moment he was reminded of the empty spaces his heart had had to endure during his marriage to Mellie, of the empty partnership they'd shared - and that brought back other memories along with past insecurities that wove themselves into the present…
There was another truth that lay just beneath the surface and it's something he hasn't shared with Olivia yet. It troubles him that despite his good intentions, his ambition might be taken the wrong way -
- Fitz couldn't know that Olivia senses that his thoughts have shifted; it's a minute thing, but she can sense it in the way his breath changes, can feel the tension in him as though his heartbeat was her own, despite the miles between them. Her thoughts followed his effortlessly…
"Fitz?" she thought that she knew what was troubling him, the sudden silence speaking for him so eloquently of the demons he was still struggling to leave behind.
Olivia knew that Fitz genuinely meant what he said about wanting to serve all of the people. Cyrus had told her that once he'd told Fitz that he'd wished Fitz had been more of a cynic. Someone else might have argued that it might have made Fitz a wiser man, but they would have been wrong. His heart simply wouldn't allow him to be any other way and any touch of that cynicism would have changed him in a fundamental way. Fitz wouldn't have been the man the country needed.
He wouldn't have been the man she'd needed even before she'd known she did.
"I don't want to be like my -" Fitz's voice broke into her thoughts, rough with emotion. "- I don't want them to see me as just another white man spouting paternalistic platitudes at them in some vain and condescending attempt to lie to their faces to gain their trust only to let them down."
He didn't want to be like his father - that was the sentence Fitz hadn't been able to finish. It was the kind of political lie that his father would have done with ease, with Mellie cheering him on. That was just the way things were done, the way they'd always been done - politics as usual. Olivia knew that without a doubt, just as she knew before he'd spoken that Fitz's thoughts had traveled down this very path.
"Then tell them exactly that - in those very same words." She told him.
"They won't get offended?"
"I think they will find that level of honesty refreshing."
"See how you always know the right thing to say?" Fitz felt the tension in his head and chest ease.
"See how you always know the right thing to do?" she shot right back at him, her voice laced with tenderness.
Fitz smiled as he rubbed the back of his neck. He hoped Olivia was right; her words were always the balm to soothe his troubled thoughts -and he knew that he could trust her to let him know if he were wrong in just the right way. What he was proposing to do was something unheard of in a Republican presidency - hell, in any presidency - and he knew it. He also knew - a deep feeling in his gut telling him so - that he was right to at least try. And while Olivia's approval may not be a necessary thing to some, to him - it was everything.
He smiled and took another long drink from his glass. "What I'm doing is unprecedented."
As if she could see his expression, Olivia made a play on his words. "Reaching out to the other side before a nomination is even made - I'd call that un-presidented - and a very good thing."
She was smiling, he was suddenly undeniably sure of it even though he couldn't see her face. It saturated the distance between them and gave Fitz the much needed laugh that he needed. "I'd want their input even if this wasn't an election year. If I'm going to do this, then I need to know what the people want if I want this done right - and that's more important than anything else - that this is done right. Not to serve America's corporate interests, but because it's the right thing to do for the people."
Fitz took a deep breath as he found and then spoke his truth. "Even if I'm not re-elected, I want them to know that the work that I'm doing - am trying to do - isn't going to stop. If I - I don't win, I won't stop moving forward - I can't. What I'm doing now will just transform itself to another level - just as I will."
Olivia's voice was both fierce and loving all at once. "But you're not going to lose, Fitz. You're going to win, I know it. All you have to be is what you're being right now. Keep speaking from your heart -show them who you are - and the voters are yours."
And this was one more reason why he loved her. Olivia was the other part of his heart that he had known was missing without knowing what - if anything - could fill that missing space. Until he'd met her, Fitz hadn't even known how empty his life had been.
"We should be sleeping you know." He told her.
"I know."
"So, hang up."
"No, you hang up."
"I'm not sleepy yet, are you?"
"Not one bit."
"Good." Fitz said. If he had his way, he'd listen to her voice in his ear all night. "I'm a lot of things, but sleepy isn't one of them."
"Stop that - if we're going to stay up talking, at very least we should getting some work done."
"Define work." He said with a chuckle.
Then they were smiling, and then they were laughing - about nothing and everything and for the next little while neither one of them cared how late it was.