After they had cleaned up and eaten dinner, Clove was still fuming. Cato ignored her ranting in the other room, sitting on his bed. He stared at his hands, trying to plan. But he was so distracted, thinking about the way she smiled when she laughed, how she seemed to almost look towards him for protection.
All he wanted was for her to trust him.
His thoughts were interrupted as his door opened.
"You still wanna talk?" Brutus nearly took up the entire damn doorframe. Cato nodded at the massive man, standing up and following him as he walked down the hallway. The two took the stairwell in peace, climbing the whole way to the top of the building.
The wind whipped across the roof as they stepped out into the night. The view from up here was amazing, all the bright colors and flashing screens of the capitol blended together. It almost made the abhorrent place look nice. Almost.
"Is this about 12?" Brutus never looked it, but he was smart.
Cato glanced around worriedly, silently asking him if it was safe to speak.
"They can't hear us; the wind and the chimes block the mics."
Cato sighed in relief, his stress showing as he ran his hand through his hair.
"Yes. Just, why do you think I'm here?" He answered.
"The same reason the rest of the Careers are, the same reason I was." Brutus was playing dumb.
"Cut the shit, you and I both know I'm not like them. Why do you think I'm here?" Cato didn't want to play games.
"I don't know. I was kind of shocked when you told me you wanted the volunteer spot this year." Brutus finally dropped the act.
"I came because I wanted to win, yeah. But I only wanted it so I could take care of my family and go home again." Cato admitted.
"What does that have to do with 12?" Brutus almost looked proud.
"That was before I saw her. I don't know how to explain it, I just- She is different. I know I am supposed to call them coal rats and not care about anyone but the other careers but she's just- she volunteered for her sister. Did you see her today? Jesus christ she looked fucking amazing, I- "
Cato was cut off, "So you want to ditch the Careers, ditch your family, form an alliance with 12, and what? Die in there so she can go home?" Brutus seemed to expect his crush, if that's what you want to call it, on Katniss. But he didn't expect this.
"Yes. That's exactly what I want to do. I want to protect her."
The older man looked like he had just seen a ghost. He was silent for a long time before he finally opened his mouth.
"I- You know, I won like what? 16 years ago, now. I was in the Academy for like 10 years before that. Damn near 30 years, and I have never once in my life seen something like this. I mean, I knew you weren't like the others. You were a good fighter, smart, everything a Career should be, but that desire to kill was never there. I don't think a Career ditching the alliance to fawn over someone from another district, someone from 12 has ever happened. But I know what you mean, everyone is talking about that girl. Besides you, I think she's the favorite to win this year. Everyone loves an underdog, but Snow doesn't."
Brutus gave him a knowing look.
"We can figure out to get around Snow, the Capitol will be so caught up in the love story or whatever that his hands will be tied. I'll protect her as long as I can, before something takes me out or it comes down to me and her. And then, either I'll let her kill me or I'll kill myself if she won't. But she's never going to trust me enough- "Cato was cut off again.
"I'm going up to 12 in a second here to talk with Haymitch, maybe he's still sober enough to carry a conversation. He will know how to play this; he can talk to the girl for you and get her to talk yo you. Snow won't be happy, but I feel like it's time I finally did something good for once."
The sadness in Brutus's voice as he said the last part, it seemed to blow through the wind around them and whip Cato with the ferocity of it all.
"Thank you." It was all he had left to say. He held his hand out to the older man, gripping it firmly as they shook on it, as they sealed his death.
Brutus started to walk off towards the elevator when Cato remembered one more thing.
"Wait, what do I do about the alliance?"
Brutus stopped, thinking for a second before shaking his head. "Do nothing for right now. Just pretend like it is still on. The less they know before you get in there the better."
Cato nodded and turned back towards the capitol streets. He sat there for a few minutes, just trying to concentrate on the wind on his face. He tried to just escape all of it for a minute, but like before in his room, the wind always carried him back to Katniss.
He wanted to see her again. He wanted to see that smile again, he wanted to show her this place. He wondered if she would like it.
He wouldn't have to wait long, because about 10 minutes after Brutus left the door to the roof opened again. Cato ignored it, kept his eyes closed and his head leaned back, thinking it was Brutus coming back to tell him that Haymitch had already drunk himself into a hole.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone else was up here, I'll just- "It was her.
Her voice was soft, it drifted around him and the wind like a melody. The sound of the chimes behind it made her sound like an angel. His eyes shot open to see her walking away, leaving him.
"Wait no, it's fine. I don't mind." He sounded desperate as he called after her. Too desperate. Like a lovesick puppy.
He would have made himself sick if it weren't for the accuracy.
She turned to face him, her eyes scanning his before walking back towards the railing and leaning against it. He had never seen her without her hair in a braid before. It flowed around her shoulders like a shadow.
Of course, you haven't seen her hair down before. You've only ever seen her twice dumbass.
He stood then, abandoning his bench to go stand by her. The electricity he felt being this close to her seemed so strong, like sparks were bouncing off their bodies. He wondered if she could feel it too.
"Why are you being nice to me? Your district partner seems to want my head on a spear, so…" She looked at him, trailing off as her eyes met his.
He didn't know what to say.
Well, I saw your reaping tape and became kind of obsessed with you and immediately resigned myself to die so that you could live? Also, I think you're really pretty?
Yeah, that will go over great.
"Clove just doesn't like to be upstaged, she's only jealous." He explained.
Just dodge the question why don't you?
"You didn't answer my question."
Fuck.
"She might just be jealous, but her being jealous of me will probably get me killed. But I didn't ask about Clove, I asked about you." She scowled at him as she spoke.
There's the fire.
"I know, and no she won't be killing you. I'm being nice to you because I want to be. Can't I do that?" He answered her, keeping his voice as gentle as possible. He couldn't remember the last time he spoke to someone this way.
"I don't think any of us get to do what we want anymore." Her eyes looked pained when she spoke. He couldn't blame her, she was right. He just didn't care if he could do what he wanted, he was going to do it anyways. "Plus, excuse me for not trusting you. I don't understand why you'd want to be nice to me whenever you trained your whole life to kill people like me."
He winced at her words. They were harsh, but true. She didn't know he had no choice, didn't know he had been in the games since he was 7, being ripped away from his mother.
"I don't want to kill you." Her head whipped towards him, eyes narrowing. "I don't. I want to be your friend."
Such a fucking understatement.
She scoffed, "My friend? Why the hell would you want to be my friend? You've got friends. The girl from your district and the ones from 1."
She didn't get it; this was not going the way he wanted. He couldn't blame her though; this was why he had been jealous of her district partner. He decided to change the subject. Maybe talking to him more she would see.
"Did you see the girl from 11?" He blurted.
She shook her head, looking away from him. "Yeah, I saw Rue. I bet you and your friends just can't wait to get your hands on her." She sneered. He felt like someone had taken an axe to his chest.
"No. I don't want anything to happen to her. They won't get near her." She eyed him quizzically again, shocked by his words. "I feel bad for her. She barely looks 10, let alone 12."
Katniss furrowed her brow at that, "She reminds me of my sister." She seemed surprised at her own words, surprised she trusted him enough to say that.
"That's what I thought too. It was very brave, what you did. You must really love her." He spoke to her honestly, letting his admiration show.
Her eyes softened, she looked down at her hands that seemed to shake a bit. She was hiding her pain. He wanted to reach out to her, assuage her fears, let her know she would go home to see Prim. "I do." She whispered softly, yet again not seeming to understand why she was telling him this.
Just pretend like you don't see her hands.
"I have a little sister too." He admitted. She looked at him again, "You do?"
"Yeah, I haven't seen her since I was really little. She was only 2 when I left to train. I miss her a lot. I wonder how she grew up to be: if she ever learned how to say her r's. I wanted to win so I could see her again." He admitted. He had never spoken any of this aloud before. Never shown so much emotion, so much weakness.
"They don't let you see your family?" She sounded shocked.
"No" He smiled at her, "That would mean any of us have feelings. Obviously." He said grimly, with a lilt of humor in his voice.
She chuckled, understanding him. "Well, we can't have that now, can we?" Her eyes looked in his, amused.
"Absolutely not." He gave her a smirk. Basking in her happiness for a few moments before her eyes turned serious again, and she gazed at the lights in the streets below them for a while.
"I promised Prim I would try to win for her." She said, leaning on her leg towards him. Her eyes meeting his. The electricity still flowed.
"I think you should, that's why I want to be your friend." He finally said, making sure she could see he meant it in his eyes.
She looked for malice just as she had before, but instead found none.
"You can't possibly mean that. What's your sister's name?" She asked.
Odd time for this question.
"Alice." He answered.
"Don't you ever want to find out if Alive learned to say her r's?"
She basically punched him in the gut, picked him up, threw him over that balcony. But he was resolved in his plan.
"You can find out for me when you win. I haven't seen her in years. She probably doesn't even miss me. Nobody will. But Prim? Prim will miss you. Will your family be okay without you?" He watched as she winced and shook her head again.
"Probably not, no." She admitted.
"Well, then you see my point. I understand you. I know why you're here, what you're fighting for. I trained my whole life for this. And I don't know about you," he glanced at her, "But I am not super into the idea of killing people. I'd rather do something good. If I must kill, I'd rather it be for something more than a fancy house and a check."
She eyed him again, looking for the deceit.
Come on my little flame, just trust me. See that I am telling the truth.
"Allies?" She finally said, sticking her hand out towards him and smiled.
His heart soared. He placed his hand in hers, barely containing the moan that threatened to escape him at the contact. If he didn't know better, he'd think his hand was on fire. Her hands were so small, but they were calloused. He wondered how they got that way. He wondered if she could feel what he felt.
"Allies." His voice sounded sure even though the rest of him felt like jelly.
Their eyes met, and he heard her breath hitch.
Good fucking god.
They kept their hands like that for just a moment too long before he finally pried his fingers from around her. He craved it again. He wanted his whole body to burn the way his hand just did.
"What about your 'friends'?" she asked.
"Just keep this between us for now. I will ditch them at some point, but it's a better idea to double team them for the time being before I switch up on them. I'll tell Brutus and we can come up with a plan." She didn't know he was already planning it with Haymitch now.
"How do I know you're not trying to double team me?" She asked. Her eyes narrowing at him again.
Come on, we were so fucking close.
"You? Why would I do that now? You're no threat." He teased, poking her shoulder and smirking.
The distrust faded from her eyes, and she poked him back. "That's what you think." She smirked back; her mirth was like a drug.
He laughed, the way he had earlier.
Twice in one day? She's got you wrapped around her tiny little finger.
"Oh no Girl on Fire, I'm positively sure you've got something hiding up your sleeve." He spoke.
"Girl on Fire?" she questioned.
"That's what they're calling you. You should have heard Clove's meltdown at that one. I thought she may have an aneurysm." He chuckled.
"Oh, that'd be so tragic. Heartbreaking, really." She scoffed. Cato laughed again.
Three times. Maybe I should just start wedding ring shopping now? Would she like a diamond? No, doesn't seem like a bling girl. Maybe a different stone, like a sapphire or an emerald. Silver or gold?
"I'm sure you'd be the only one in mourning. I'll be shocked if Enobaria's patience lasts through training." He responded. He ignored the way her laugh sounded like little bells twinkling.
Wedding bells, oh fuck off.
Her cursed himself internally.
They stood there like that, joking about Clove. She told him a little more about Prim and her cat that Katniss hates, he teased her and called her kitty kat. He bathed in the glory that was talking to her, getting to know her.
Giving a new meaning to going out in a blaze of glory? Aren't I?
Their topic turned serious, pretending they didn't have a secret alliance at training wouldn't be hard. Nobody expected them to speak to one another. He was a career, and she was from 12, at most he would be expected to sneer at her. He wouldn't be doing so.
"What about the girl from 11? Rue? Do you want to bring her into the alliance too?" He asked.
Katniss looked at him with grateful eyes, "If she wants to, I'll talk to her. Her district partner is kind of terrifying." She admitted.
Cato laughed, "Well, he could be useful too. I don't know if I would trust him, something tells me he's a wild card."
Katniss nodded, "And Peeta?"
Cato didn't know who that was, maybe the blonde boy from her district?
"My district partners?" She clarified.
That fucking guy.
"Do you trust him?" Cato asked, she would know better than him.
"He saved my life once." She looked at her hands, the unsure tone was back.
Goddammit, brownie points for Peeta.
"When I was younger, my dad died in a mining explosion. My mom got really sick whenever he died, and we were out of money. I hadn't eaten in weeks; any food we had left I was giving to Prim. I couldn't watch her starve anymore. So, I went to town to try to sell some old things we had. But they were useless, nobody wanted twice handed down, raggedy baby clothes and some old jars. It started to rain, and I was desperate, looking through garbage cans for scraps."
Her voice shook, and Cato dug his nails into his palm at the anger that shot through him. Why did she suffer so much? Why did nobody help her?
"Peeta's family owns the bakery, and I was going through their trash cans when his mom came out and screamed at me to get away. She is kind of a massive bitch. But I was so cold. I hadn't eaten anything but chewed mint leaves and a third of a rotten apple in over 8 days. When you're that hungry, your mind is in a daze. I couldn't go home with nothing for Prim, I couldn't look at her big eyes begging for food. And honestly, who knows if I would have even made it that far I was so weak. So, I just fell down under this big tree, and kind of resigned myself to die there."
Cato was sure his hands were bleeding, maybe he would hit bone soon.
"That's when Peeta came out, his mother was screaming about burnt bread. She told him to feed it to the pigs. But he didn't, he threw it at me. All of it. It was soggy from the rain, but it was only burnt on the outside. I think he might have done it on purpose. I took that bread and ran all the way home with it, it was the first thing Prim had eaten in days. And the next day, he had a big bruise on his face. His mom hit him for that. I wanted to say thank you but, I was afraid." She smiled and looked down. He finally felt an ounce of relief for the first time since her story started.
"I looked down, and at my feet there were dandelions. And I remembered, you can eat dandelions. My father had taught me all about edible plants, and I knew I could feed my family. We wouldn't starve."
She finally finished, finally looking up to meet his eyes. But he couldn't look at her. He was lost in his emotions, drowning in the thought of her dying. Her under that tree, giving up. He wanted to run down to 12's floor and kiss the ground Peeta walked on.
"I trust him, I trust Peeta." He said, hoping she would understand.
"Me too." She agreed.
That night, when he finally tore himself away from her, he dreamed of mint leaves and rotten apples. He dreamed of a wisp of a girl, sunken cheeks and big, scared, grey eyes reaching out for him as she laid under a tree in the pouring rain.
He woke up with tears down his cheeks, with his hands outstretched for Katniss.