Cato hadn't felt like this in years. Nervous, panicked, barely able to contain the stress that filled his body. He had paced around the roof for 20 minutes before he planted himself against the railing, forcing himself to stay put. He twisted his hands nervously as he stared down at the lights below him.
What if she doesn't come? This is my last chance to see her before the games tomorrow. This is the last time I'll ever talk to her without the entire country listening. This could the last time I'll ever see her. What if she wants nothing to do with me?
He gulped at the thought. He would have to watch over her from afar, track her around the arena, try to keep her safe from a distance. The gamemakers wouldn't like that. They would force them together.
"Hi." He heard her behind him. Apparently, he had been so lost in thought that he hadn't heard the elevator or her approaching. He breathed in the familiar electricity that tingled between them when she was near.
He turned to see her. He hadn't realized how much he had missed her in the day without seeing her, and then not being able to say anything to her during the interviews. Now there she stood, in a dark blue shirt with long sleeves, shorts, slippers on her feet, raven black hair down andflowing in the wind.
No, this is perfect. This is how I want to remember her when I am away from her in the arena. This is what I will picture when I die. Not the made-up capitol girl on fire, but Katniss. My Katniss.
"Hi." His head still swam with nerves as he stood in front of her. She was giving him that godforsaken look again. The word for it seemed to be on the tip of his tongue yet lost in the sea of worries in his head.
"You put on a good show. I almost believed you for a moment." She admitted, coming to stand next to him by the railing. She stood close to him, so close he could feel the tips of her fire touching his skin. He sighed nervously at her answer.
Well, it looks like we are jumping right into this.
"They give us lessons in the academy on how to give a good interview." He explained, looking at his feet.
"Do they give you lessons on how to be as confusing as possible too?" She asked, a frustrated tone in her voice.
"What?" He genuinely didn't know what she was getting at.
Katniss huffed in annoyance, before throwing her hands in the air. "Here you are, a career, and you're supposed to be this bloodthirsty monster and instead I meet you up on this stupid roof and you tell me this whole story of your life and how this Academy brainwashes all the careers but not you. And then you become my ally, and I have to pretend like you're not the entire time we are in training. And I have to watch that stupid Glimmer girl hang off you like a damn monkey, and then you say you're going to die for me in there because I deserve to live… without even asking me how I feel about that?! And then, then you helped me after my training session from hell, but the whole time that same morning you looked like you had been hit by a train and your skin was bright red, and you have cuts on your hands, and you never tell me what happened? And then you go into your interview and it's like I don't even know who you are! You talked this big game about winning and then about having a crush on some girl, and then you look at me and say it's you? How the hell could it be me? Obviously, everyone knows you were talking about Glimmer! And you said you were going to make your move in the arena? What does that mean, you're going to ditch me for her? Or was this all some elaborate ruse? Why would you say any of this to me? And now you're up here and you have these big cuts on your hand and your neck from God knows where, and you're acting all upset… and I have no fucking clue why I even give a shit about any of this! I should be worried about getting back to Prim, not you and your mess of confusion!" She was yelling, pacing around the roof, pointing her fingers at him.
"You care about me?" Was all he could get out, staring at her in shock.
"Ugh!" She smacked him on the arm, "Of course I fucking care about you! Don't be stupid! How is that all you have to say right now?!"
He tried to gather his thoughts into some form of an answer, still reeling from the way she said she cares for him, her anger at his 'crush', her jealousy of Glimmer.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off elusive." He managed.
"Well, sorry doesn't cut it. I don't want sorry. I want answers!" She poked his chest, staring into his eyes with her smokey grey ones. She was angry now, fire raging in her eyes the way it had nights before, yesterday after her training session.
"These cuts are from Clove. She was pissed you got an 11 and threw a vase, some of the glass got stuck in my chest and I cut my hand when I touched it." He explained, still trying to gather his mind.
"Okay, and the day of the private training sessions. What happened then?" She pressed him.
"I had a nightmare." He answered shortly.
"Okay, and your skin? Your hands?" She answered.
"I was in the shower for a long time trying to calm myself down. The water was really hot. I make fists with my hands when I am upset." He explained.
"Okay. Then the million-dollar question, why did you say "it's you" to me after your interviews?" Her eyes were wide now. He stared into them as he felt the blood rush to his face, his heart pounding. He twisted his hands into fists.
It's now or never.
"Because it is you. I was talking about you." He said quietly, trying to display everything he felt on his face. He prayed that she would see how much he meant it.
"No." She shook her head incredulously, "You were talking about Glimmer."
He nearly laughed at her denial, "No, I already told you. I don't have some big crush on Glimmer. Whenever I was talking to Caesar in my interview, I was talking about you." He corrected her, grabbing her hand.
She stood still, staring at him in shock. Her hand was limp in his as her grey eyes searched his for answers.
You want all the puzzle pieces Katniss, here's the last one.
"And honestly, to say I have a crush on you is an understatement. It barely even begins to sum up how I feel about you. I didn't- I barely even realized I was capable of feeling the way I do about you. When I watched the reaping tapes, and I saw you… saw you volunteer, saw the way you saved Prim, the fire in your eyes… I knew I was done for. And then I saw you in person, and I got to know you more and more. I became your friend. I fell in love with you. That's why I am willing to die for you. I don't want to live in a world where you don't exist. I can't win knowing you died, mainly because I love you. I was talking about you in the interview, Katniss."
He felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted off his shoulders as he finally admitted it. Katniss stared at him in shock, mouth agape, eyes wide. She hadn't moved the entire time, just stared at him. He grew nervous again, waiting for her reaction.
It felt like years as they stood there, all his feeling out in the open. The truth blowing between them as the wind did. That's when suddenly, Katniss moved so fast he had barely registered it. She was close to him now, dropping his hand, cupping his face with one hand, pulling him down towards her with the other. He didn't even realize what was happening until her lips met his, and that's when he felt the fire.
He was lost in her. The flames wrapped around his body, little tendrils pulling him in. He burned for her from the inside out. He felt as if every inch of the roof had turned to a raging inferno, consuming everything in its wake until there was nothing but him and her. Her lips danced with his, finally allowing him to finally feel the longing that had haunted him since he watched the recap of the reapings. Finally, he realized he was incomplete until this moment. He knew his purpose was to save her, but now… he felt the electricity explode like lightning. He wrapped his arms around her body, desperately begging to let the fire trap him in this moment forever.
She pulled back from him, remaining in his arms. He nearly whimpered at the loss of contact, the way his burning ceased so quickly. They were both panting, their breath combining into one. He could feel his heart beating in his entire body. She opened her eyes to look at him, grey swirling into ice blue.
"I don't know how, or when it happened. I have no idea how we are going to make it through this, but you're not dying." Her eyes were steel as she looked at him, burning into his. "You're not dying, I can't lose you. I can't lose you, not when I just found you." Her voice was whispered, yet firm. Almost as if she was commanding him.
He felt himself start to burn again at the realization of what she was insinuating. This whole time, he had never allowed himself the chance to believe that it wasn't just him. Never spared the thought that she would ever feel the same. But maybe they had been connected this whole time. His mother had believed in fate, a higher purpose for everyone. Maybe they were meant to end up here, for a reason unknown, aside from finally finding one another. Maybe Katniss had also been incomplete until this moment, lost until she found him. He just needed to hear it. Three words. Three words and he would burn the entire capitol to the ground if it was what she desired. Fight in that arena for years if it meant he never left her. Find a way for them both to survive. Do whatever it took to stay with her forever.
"Say it." He said, commanding and begging at the same time. Katniss took a deep breath, closing her eyes. His hands left her waist, trailing up her body as she shuddered beneath him. He grabbed her cheeks, forcing her to look it him.
"I need to hear you say it." He commanded.
Her grey eyes opened, and he finally realized what this look she always gave him was. The one that kept him up at night, frustrated because he couldn't read her. Nobody had ever looked at him this way before.
"I love you." She breathed out, finally setting him on fire again.
He felt the inferno consume him as he claimed her lips. He held her tightly to him, kissing her the way he never had anyone before. Their bodies melded perfectly together. Their lips met as if they were made for one another, finally one whole piece after so many years of separation.
"Again." He begged between kisses. He needed to ensure it was real, that he hadn't invented this all in his head. His dreams finally meshing with reality in the face of certain death.
"Cato." Her voice wrapped around him like the flames did, "I love you."
He moaned at the words. He hadn't realized how desperately he had needed to hear them, how he had ached for her to feel as he did.
He pulled away from her, as she whimpered from the loss of contact. He was desperate again, begging as she opened her eyes to meet his.
"Again." He demanded.
"I love you." She said firmly, a soft smile spreading across her face. The conviction, the acceptance in her eyes, he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.
He kissed her again, addicted to the fire that came with it. He let it burn away the ashes of his pain. All his time in the Academy, the last night he saw his mother, Alice screaming for him to come back, all the nights he spent forcing back tears, his time in the cells, his time with his father. Her fire cleansed him of all the suffering, burned away his scars, consumed him until there was nothing left but her.
"I love you." She said again, this time without him asking. The words were confirmation to him. He would never allow her to suffer again. He would do anything, be anything, fight his way through anything to ensure her happiness. He would fight a civil war by himself to get Katniss what she wanted. If she wanted him to live, then he would live.
"Katniss, I love you too." He answered her, breaking apart to allow himself to breathe. She grabbed his face, desperation reaching her now. Her eyes were panicked as he met them.
"You have to live. You cannot die. I can't lose you. Please." She begged him.
"I'll find a way. I promise." He vowed.
Silly little flame, I will never, ever say no to you again.