Class trial positions:

Kenji

Ryu····Momoka

Akiko······················Jun

Mizuki···························Tsubasa

Naomi······································Hiroto

Shingo····························Takeru

Jeff····················Yuna

Rin···········Emi

Koi

CLASS TRIAL

ALL RISE!

"Let's begin with a basic explanation of the class trial!" says Monokuma. Once again, he's sitting in his large, raised chair by the wall, watching over us. "During the class trial, you will present your arguments for who the killer is, and vote for 'whodunnit.' If you vote correctly, then only the blackened will receive punishment. But if you pick the wrong person… then I'll punish everyone besides the blackened, and that last surviving student will graduate!"

There's a silence.

"So, um, without further ado… let the discussion begin!"

Another silence. It lasts several seconds.

"Boy, this is awkward," Monokuma says, downcast. "Do I really have to say something like 'First, let's talk about the murder weapon'? Sure, I did that in the first killing game—but now it just reeks of Early Installment Weirdness! I thought we were past that kind of thing!"

"Sorry, Monokuma," Jeff mutters.

"Hey!" Yuna shouts. "Don't apologize to the murder bear!"

"Oh, um, yes. In that case—I'm not sorry, Monokuma!"

"That's better!"

"It's just…" Jeff's voice lowers. "Usually, in a situation like this… I would expect Akiko to speak up first."

"Yeah," Tsubasa says, touching his hair. "No offense to Hiroto, but… this is a huge bummer, even by murder standards. It's sorta hard to get into a class trial mood."

"I know what you mean," I say, staring at Akiko's portrait—her face partly obstructed by the red steering wheel. "Akiko brought so much energy to our group. She was the one who—"

"ENOUGH!" Monokuma shouts. "This is a class trial, not a memorial service! If you don't discuss the murder, then I'll just start the voting now!"

"Everyone," says Naomi. "Please… consider Shingo the leader of this discussion. I'm afraid that I… I'm not at my best, today, mentally. I likely won't be able to help as much as I did in the last trial. As for the Captain, I… suppose you might consider this her day off. I believe she's earned it."

Naomi doesn't look at her best. Her face is pale, and she had bags under her crusty eyes. Her voice is a bit hoarse. Her posture lacks its usual confidence.

But that's nothing compared to Mizuki. She's standing right next to Akiko's portrait, so it's hard to look at it without seeing her. She's not looking at the portrait, though. In fact… she's not really looking at anything. Her eyes are a deep, deep void, showing no signs of life within. Her gaze is pointed downward, and her mind is pointed inward. Away from reality. Away from us. An aura of dark, eerie emptiness emanates from her being.

"Very well," says Shingo. "In that case, I'd like to start with a question for Monokuma. According to the Monokuma File, drowning is the 'most likely' cause of death. Why is it worded like that? Either Akiko drowned, or she didn't."

"Hmm," says Monokuma. "Well, the purpose of the Monokuma File is to allow for a fair investigation. None of you kids are the Ultimate Coroner. Even if someone did have that talent, they might be the killer or an accomplice, so you wouldn't be able to take their word for it. Enter the Monokuma File! Basically, it provides you with the information you'd receive from a proper autopsy. However, I can't provide you with more information than that! That'd be cheating!"

"Wait a moment," Kenji says, frowning. "Do you mean that… even a trained coroner wouldn't be able to say for sure that Akiko drowned?"

"Um," Monokuma says, "well… that's kind of a complicated question. But I'll do my best to dumb it down for your tiny, underdeveloped brains! Basically, drowning is what you would call a 'diagnosis of exclusion.' There's no way to prove that a person drowned with 100% certainty. So, if you find a dead body in the water, then you've gotta assume that they drowned—as long as you rule out all the other possibilities."

"Oh," says Kenji. "So… if a coroner looked at Akiko's body, and they saw her injuries… they'd say that those injuries probably wouldn't be enough to kill her. But… they wouldn't be 100% sure. Is, um… is that what you're saying?"

"Close enough!"

"But—wait a moment!" I pipe up. "What about Ryoma Hoshi? His body was eaten by piranhas until there were only bones remaining. But in the Monokuma File for that case, drowning was clearly stated to be the cause of death. There wasn't any ambiguity at all."

Monokuma glares at me.

"This is why I hate otakus," he says. "They nitpick every little detail! Well, if you're such a Danganronpa fan, you'll know that the cause of death is sometimes omitted completely! If a victim is just a pile of bones to begin with, revealing the cause of death could be unfair to the culprit. However, Ryoma Hoshi's body was seen in the water before the piranhas got to it, and there were no obvious injuries. Sure, it was only for a few seconds, but…" Suddenly, he thrusts out his paws. "Dammit—I shouldn't have to justify this! I make judgments based on what's fair, okay? Whether I reveal information, don't reveal it, or keep things ambiguous—it's all to create a fair trial where both the blackened and a spotless have a chance to win. And that's that!"

"I see," Shingo says, smiling slightly. "In that case, I think we can safely say that drowning was the true cause of death. If that wasn't the case—if the killer only put Akiko's body in the pool to deceive us—then the Monokuma File would be extremely deceptive. To name drowning as the 'most likely' cause of death would only bolster the killer's false narrative. It would be fairer to omit the cause of death altogether, in that scenario. Given that Akiko did drown, however, the words 'most likely' give the killer a bit of wiggle room. They might claim that the injuries on Akiko's body are the true cause of death. Thus, the current wording is fair to both the blackened and the spotless—but only if Akiko really did drown."

"Your logic is impeccable, Shingo," says Takeru. "Furthermore, it serves to reinforce my own conclusion. Upon inspecting the body of our slain comrade, I concluded that her wounds were not the true source of her demise."

"Really?" says Yuna. "I didn't look closely at the body, but—based on the Monokuma File, it sounds like Akiko suffered from a nasty bonk to the head! Something like that could kill someone, for sure!"

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "The word 'bonk'… feels out of place, here…"

"This so-called 'bonk' was quite nasty, indeed," says Takeru. "However, if my theory of the assassination holds true, then this wound could not possibly have slain Akiko."

"Um, okay," says Rin. "Do you wanna, like. Share this 'theory' with us?"

"Ha!" Takeru chuckles. "Do you expect the protagonist to reveal his jutsu so early in the fight? No—I must wait for an opening. Only then will I unleash my special attack!"

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you talking about? Why are you still fucking talking like that?"

"I understand him, Rin," Shingo says, still smiling a bit. "Takeru doesn't want to speculate yet. He'll save that for when there's more evidence to back him up."

"Okay," says Rin. "But can't he just, like. Fucking say that? Why does he always have to talk like such a fucking dweeb?"

"I can translate for Takeru, if anyone's ever confused." Shingo's smile disappears. "Frankly, I agree with him. It's too early for grand theories. Before we reach that step, we ought to establish the facts of the case."

"Hold on a moment," says Naomi. "We've talked about the wound in Akiko's head. But what about the wounds in her arms? When I pulled up Akiko's body… I… I saw some awful cuts in her inner forearms. Isn't it possible that… that those cuts… might have killed her?"

TRUTH BULLET: MONOKUMA FILE #2

"Naomi," I say, "did you read the Monokuma File?"

Naomi shakes her head. "There was… a lot going on, when it was handed out. And… afterward… it mostly slipped my mind. Sometimes I'd consider looking at it, but…"

"It's okay—I understand. It was probably too painful for you. But if you had read the Monokuma File, you'd know that Akiko's body 'does not show signs of severe blood loss.' So, she definitely didn't bleed out through the cuts in her arms."

"Ah," Naomi says, touching her forehead, "there I go making a fool of myself. I'm sorry… as I said, I… probably won't be very helpful today."

"It's okay, really! We all understand."

"So," says Tsubasa, "if those cuts didn't kill her… then, uh… why did Akiko end up with cuts on her arms?"

Jeff's face droops. "I hate to say something so morbid, but… in movies, and on TV, when people have cuts in a place like that… it usually means…"

"Perish the thought, Jeff," says Takeru. "It is true that, in theory, a person can take their own life by slicing open the radial arteries in their arms. However, this method of self-sacrifice is quite difficult, quite rare, and extraordinarily painful—akin to the ancient art of seppuku. It strikes me as unlikely that Akiko would attempt something so foolish. Furthermore, the wounds on her arms follow no apparent pattern. They are unfocused and haphazard. One might even call them a mockery of self-sacrifice."

"A mockery?" says Tsubasa. "Wait. Are you saying that… the killer sliced up her body like that on purpose, to make us think that Akiko… did that to herself?"

Takeru crosses his arms, frowning. "Such a thought did, indeed, enter my mind. However, did this assassin truly believe that we would fall for such a ploy? No—I find this implausible. An assassin who expected this would have to be foolish to the point of idiocy. Yet I do not believe such a foolish person could have slain Akiko. Thus, the true meaning behind these wounds is still unknown."

"Let's step back for a moment," says Shingo. "Before we ask 'why,' we should ask 'what.' What caused those wounds on Akiko's arms—and what caused the wound on her head?"

"Well," Tsubasa says, touching his hair, "I don't know about the wounds on her arms, but… the wound on Akiko's head means that someone hit her with a blunt object, right?"

"Do you have an object in mind, Tsubasa?" Naomi asks.

"Well… uh… not really. It's just… when Jeff and I were registering a weapon with the Captain, I saw that Jeff registered one of his baseball bats, and took it back to his room. I'm not accusing anyone, but, uh… in theory… couldn't something like that have been used?"

"W-Wait!" Jeff stutters, holding up his palms. "You're not saying that I—I hit Akiko with my baseball bat, are you?"

TRUTH BULLET: BLOODY DUMBBELL

"No, that's wrong!" I shout. "The damage to Akiko's head wasn't caused by a baseball bat. It was a dumbbell from the weight room! I saw it—it was on the ground, and one of the plates had dried blood on it."

"Seriously?" says Tsubasa. "Damn—I didn't really look in the weight room, so I didn't see it. Sorry, dude—I was just throwing ideas out there."

"It's fine," Jeff says, smiling. "I understand. This is a strange situation, so… I know we have to say strange things before we reach the truth."

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "Jeff is… very forgiving…"

"That explains the head injury," says Naomi. "But what about the arm injuries?"

"Um," Jeff says, thinking, "it would have to be some sort of knife, right? Because, um… when I was registering my baseball bat as a weapon… I saw that Tsubasa was registering a pocket knife to bring to his room. I'm not accusing anyone, or anything! But, um… couldn't a knife like that have cut up Akiko's arms?"

TRUTH BULLET: BLOODY NINJA STARS

"No, that's wrong!" I shout.

"Okay, okay!" Jeff says, recoiling. "I'm sorry! Please, don't shout at me!"

"Oh, um… sorry. You're wrong, though. I saw the weapons that caused Akiko's arm injuries. I found them in the Ultimate Attorney's Office, under the cushion of an armchair. Their tips were stained with blood, so… I'm sure that they were the weapons used."

"I… I had no idea," Jeff says, looking at Tsubasa apologetically. "Sorry if that was a weird thing to suggest. It just popped into my head, and… I ended up blurting it out."

"It's cool, man," says Tsubasa. "Let's duke it out in Clash Bros later."

"You're on!"

"Hey—wait a moment!" says Yuna. "You basically just accused each other of murder! Isn't this going to put a strain on your friendship?"

"But… video games," Tsubasa counters.

"How can you brush this off so easily? When this is over, the two of you need to have a long, candid discussion about your hurt feelings!"

"I guess we could do that," says Jeff. "But I'd rather just play video games."

"Let's get back on topic," says Shingo. "Koi—tell us what you found in the chair."

"Um… well…"

I have to be confident. I can't hold anything back.

"Actually… I found two ninja stars. Both of them had one bloodstained tip."

"Ninja stars?" Tsubasa says, tensing up. "But… does that mean… Takeru…?"

"No way!" Jeff shouts. "T-Takeru… surely, you wouldn't…!"

"This is the first I am hearing of this, as well," Takeru says, his eyes wide. "I do possess two shuriken of my own—however, I would never use them for such an underhanded ploy. Perhaps… is it possible that… the assassin stole these shuriken from my abode?"

TRUTH BULLET: CLEAN NINJA STARS

"Don't worry," I say. "Rin and I checked Takeru's room—and his two ninja stars are still there. They're completely clean, too. Those aren't the ninja stars we found in the armchair."

"Oh," says Tsubasa. "Um… sorry, Takeru. I guess I got hasty… again."

"Me too," says Jeff. "I'm really sorry, Takeru!"

"I will pass no judgment," says Takeru. "However—I, too, would like to join in the Clashing of Bros."

"You're on!" says Jeff.

"Let's play 1v1v1," says Tsubasa. "Four stock. No items!"

"What the heck is happening?" Yuna asks, looking bewildered. "Why are you people like this?"

"Guys are so fucking weird," Rin mutters.

"More importantly," says Shingo, "let's talk about where those ninja stars actually came from."

"Hmm," says Momoka. "Maybe they came from… the Ultimate Yakuza's Office…?"

TRUTH BULLET: STOLEN NINJA STARS

"No, that's wrong!" I shout. "They…" I pause. "Momoka, are you okay?"

Momoka's face is down; she has a hurt expression. "You didn't have to… yell so loudly…"

"I—I'm sorry! I didn't mean to yell at you! I'm just trying to establish the facts."

"Don't take it personally, Momoka," says Kenji. "Koi is energized, because… someone needs to be. We'll all die if we don't solve this case. Koi is trying to protect us, so… if she contradicts you, and she's full of energy… it's not like that's an insult. It's… a good thing."

"Thanks, Kenji!" I say. "Anyway… about the ninja stars. Remember—we've had two rounds of gifts. Takeru's first gift was a single ninja star. His second gift consisted of three ninja stars—but Takeru hid away two of them, and told us he'd only received one. As a result, two ninja stars ended up in Takeru's room—and the other two got thrown away. Then, after being thrown away… they were stolen!"

"Wait… huh?" Tsubasa says. "They were thrown out… and then stolen?"

"Tsubasa—you've played the Danganronpa video games, right? Do you remember the fifth chapter of the first game, when Makoto fell into a giant garbage pit under the trash room? That pit is where all of our garbage went on trash day. And it's where the culprit stole those ninja stars from!"

"Stole?" Jeff says. "You mean, like… the thief?"

"That's correct," says Shingo. "Three nights ago, the garbage pit was robbed. This was the thieving incident that caused such a commotion the following morning."

"Whoa," says Tsubasa. "So they didn't rob the Ultimate Yakuza's Office?"

"I assumed they did, too!" says Yuna.

"I think most of us assumed that," I say. "But the Ultimate Yakuza's Office has nothing to do with it. The garbage pit was the actual site of the theft! And it wasn't just the ninja stars. Some other things were also stolen, like—"

"That's right," Shingo interrupts. "Several other items were stolen, as well. However, those items aren't as relevant to our current discussion."

Shingo is staring at me with intense eyes. Did I do something wrong?

No… wait… I get it. He's telling me not to reveal too much, too quickly. Knowledge is power, and we have to hang on to every piece of information we have. We never know what might come in handy later. For now, Shingo's telling me to be careful.

I nod subtly, trying to convey that I got his message.

"That settles it!" says Jeff. "The culprit… is the thief!"

"Um, okay," says Rin. "But, like. Who the fuck is the thief?"

"Yeah," says Tsubasa, "if we don't know that, then… we're back to square one."

"Let's back up for a moment," says Naomi. "Koi—I'd like to hear more about this bloodstained dumbbell in the weight room. I passed by that area quickly, so… I never got a chance to inspect it."

"It was a pretty big dumbbell," I answer. "Actually… it was 75 pounds."

"Seventy-five?" Jeff gasps.

"Jeez," says Tsubasa. "Talk about overkill."

"Indeed," says Takeru. "It seems peculiar that the assassin would use such a conspicuous weapon. I, myself, was able to lift an identical weight; however, I did not possess the strength to wield it as a tool of assassination."

"It's true," I confirm. "I saw Takeru try to swing the other 75-pound dumbbell—but he could barely move it. I don't think he was faking it, either—he was really struggling."

"Huh," says Tsubasa. "So, for someone to swing a dumbbell like that… they'd have to be stronger than Takeru, right?"

"If we're talking about physical strength," says Kenji, "could the results of the bench-pressing contest be relevant here?"

"I believe so," says Takeru. "Although the motions slightly differ, the muscles used would overlap considerably."

"Um…" says Jeff. "I don't entirely understand what Takeru said, but… I think I agree with him! If you're really good at bench-pressing, that means you can probably swing around a heavy dumbbell!" Suddenly, he recoils. "Oh, crud—I won the bench-pressing contest! That makes me the most suspicious person of all!"

"It's not just you, Jeff," says Naomi. "Koi—you remember the results of that contest, right?"

"I do," I say, replaying my memories of the Hiroto and Ryu Memorial Pool Party. "Jeff won by lifting 510 pounds. Rin came in second—she lifted 500 pounds. Jun lifted 400 pounds. Akiko lifted 350 pounds. And Takeru came in fifth, by lifting 270 pounds. So, other than Akiko… three people here are stronger than Takeru."

Jun grins. "Aren't you forgetting someone?"

Forgetting someone…?

"Emi," I say. "You didn't participate in the weightlifting contest. In theory, we can't rule out the possibility that you're stronger than you claim to be."

"I suppose it can't be disproven," Emi admits. "Though, a delicate girl like myself could hardly lift such a heavy object."

"So," says Tsubasa, "between Jeff, Jun, Rin, and maybe Emi… doesn't that narrow down our suspect list by a lot?"

"It totally does!" says Yuna. "One of those four has got to be the culprit!"

"No, that's…" I begin. "…Not necessarily true," I finish.

"Hey—what's with that reaction?" asks Yuna. "I thought you were gonna say 'no, that's wrong'!"

"Well… I don't know that it's wrong. One of those four might be the culprit. It's just… there's something weird about this whole dumbbell thing."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I can't really put my finger on it. I just… I have a feeling that… this piece of evidence might not be totally trustworthy."

"I agree, Koi," says Takeru. "Any warrior strong enough to use a heavy weapon could far more easily use a lighter one. There were many other weights in that room. Why did the assassin choose one of the most unwieldy weapons available? It is as if they are announcing: 'this is how strong I am.' Yet, why would the assassin so carelessly leave this clue about their identity?"

"That's just your hunch, though," says Naomi. "For now, I think we should consider the strongest people here to be the most suspicious."

"It was definitely Jun," says Rin. "He's, like. Really weird? And, like. Kind of gross?"

"Love you too, babe," Jun replies.

"It's Jun for sure!" Yuna shouts. "This man eats potato chips for breakfast! Someone like that has got to be a killer!"

"Go suck a pacifier," Jun grumbles. "The adults are talking."

"Guys… stop!" I plead. "This… isn't the time for that!"

Normally, this is where Captain Mizuki would step in, and tell people not to throw around accusations. But Mizuki isn't hearing us, or seeing us, or existing on the same plane of reality as the rest of us.

"Let's back up again," I insist. "I don't think the dumbbell will lead us to the culprit. But we might get there if we talk about the ninja stars."

"I was just thinking that," says Kenji. "Actually, I was wondering… could there be a clue in the Ultimate Attorney's Office? The killer hid those ninja stars in there, but… during nighttime, when the crime happened, the door to that room is locked."

"That's true," says Shingo. "The Ultimate Offices are open to everyone from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. During nighttime, however, their doors lock using a system similar to our dorm room doors. In other words, the killer must have planted those ninja stars during a narrow window this morning, between the 7 a.m. announcement and the Body Discovery Announcement."

"Oh—I get it!" says Tsubasa. "So, if anyone saw someone coming back from that direction this morning—that person might be the culprit!"

"But… did anyone see that?" I ask.

No one answers.

"Crap," Tsubasa says, dejected. "I guess that idea's a bust."

"It was a good idea!" I say. "But… most of us were in our rooms, or in the cafeteria. So, it's no surprise that we didn't see anyone doing anything suspicious."

"Still, though," says Kenji. "If the killer was in such a rush, then… maybe they left some sort of clue."

"I cannot help but doubt this," says Takeru. "A careful assassin would leave behind no trace."

"Like, duh," says Rin. "Also, like… Koi and I checked that room. And, like. Other than the ninja stars? There was, like. Nothing suspicious in there."

TRUTH BULLET: HAIR ON ARMCHAIR

"Rin… that's wrong," I reply nervously, forcing the words to exit my mouth. "You know it's wrong. We did find something suspicious. It was on the same armchair where we found the ninja stars."

"Um, no we didn't," Rin insists, sounding a bit offended. "I thought we, like. Totally agreed? That it was, like. Totally irrelevant."

"We never agreed about that. I'm sorry, Rin. I know how awful it is to feel like a suspect, but… we need to uncover every detail of the truth. And… when you react like this… it only make things worse."

"Hey," says Tsubasa, "so, um… you wanna clue the rest of us in?"

"On that armchair," I say, "on the armrest… we found a long, blonde hair."

There's a pause.

"Long… and blonde?" Tsubasa says, his eyebrows raising. "Rin…?"

"No way!" shouts Yuna. "Rin, you wouldn't…!"

Naomi glares. "Rin," she says, "there'd better be a good explanation for this."

"What the fuck?" Rin says, tensing up, looking around at all the suspicious eyes. "Why the fuck are you ganging up on me, all of a sudden? It's just some stupid hair. It's probably, like. Not even mine."

"But, Rin," I say, my stomach sinking, "it… definitely is your hair. And… I'm sorry, but… I don't understand why you keep denying that."

"Whatever," Rin says, crossing her arms and looking away. "It's just hair, though. There's, like. Nothing important about it."

"I disagree," Shingo says, brow furrowed. "Whether or not you're the culprit, Rin, your hair being in such a suspicious place is a fact that demands explaining."

"Yeah," says Tsubasa. "Either you were in the Ultimate Attorney's Office that night… or someone wants us to believe you were."

"Whatever," Rin repeats, a bit harsher this time. She's growing tenser; she's looking away from everyone, trying to act calm. "I'm probably, like. Being framed, or whatever."

"Hmm," says Momoka. "Your reaction is… kind of weird, though…"

"If you are being framed, Rin," I say, "then we need to figure out who put that hair there, and how they got it."

"Um, no we don't," Rin retorts. "If the killer, like. Wants us to talk about this? Then we probably, like. Shouldn't talk about it."

"What kind of logic is that?" Yuna squeaks.

"I'm just saying. Just by talking about this stupid hair? We're probably, like. Falling into the killer's trap, or whatever."

"Your evasiveness stat," says Takeru, "is far lower than you seem to believe. This attempt at using an evasion jutsu is extremely clumsy."

"H-Hey!" Jeff stutters. "Everyone—you're being way too harsh on Rin. We all know that she'd never do this!" He rubs the back of his head. "For all we know, maybe that hair is from a long while ago."

"No," I say, "I don't think it is. Remember, Jeff? We had Drama Club last night—and I was sitting in that exact same armchair. If there was any hair on it… I didn't notice. Plus, once we were done, we moved the chairs back, and brushed them off a little. You guys said that you always clean up after Drama Club, every night."

"Well… that's true, but…"

"Um, hold on a sec," says Tsubasa. "What's Drama Club?"

"It's just… a group activity I attended last night," I answer. "Akiko was there… so was Naomi, and Mizuki. Jeff, too. I was just a guest—the other four have been doing it for a few nights, now."

"Intriguing," says Takeru. "I did not realize, Koi, that you were at such a relevant location so soon before the attack. Would you be willing to recount this experience?"

"There's not much to say, really," I reply. "The five of us were in the Ultimate Attorney's Office for the meet-up. It ended sometime between 9 p.m. and the 10 p.m. announcement. After that, the Captain and First Mates left, but Jeff and I stayed behind for a few minutes. Then Jeff walked me to my room… but he turned back around, saying that he had to run some errands."

"Errands?" Shingo says, cocking an eyebrow.

"That's super suspicious!" Yuna shouts.

"It's not suspicious at all, I promise!" Jeff says, shifting nervously. "I was just, um…" He scratches his head. "What was I doing, again?"

"Did you seriously forget?" says Rin. "You said that you were, like. Doing your laundry, or whatever."

"Oh, yes!" Jeff says, relaxing. "That's right! I was doing my laundry!"

TRUTH BULLET: JEFF'S LAUNDRY

"No… you weren't," I say, once again pushing the words out through sheer willpower. "Jeff… why are you lying about this? Tsubasa and Jun checked your room, and there was dirty laundry all over the place."

"They… checked my room?" Jeff says, unnerved.

"Sorry, dude," says Tsubasa. "But, yeah… it was a pigsty in there."

"Smelled like shit," says Jun.

I continue: "If you actually did laundry last night, then why was there so much dirty laundry in your room?"

"Um…" Jeff says. "Well…"

"Whatever," Rin mutters. "He probably, like. Just forgot to do his stupid laundry."

"That's right!" Jeff says, relaxing. "I was going to do my laundry… but I guess that I forgot! Haha, how silly of me!"

"Hey—what the heck is happening?" Yuna says, perplexed. "Why does Rin keep answering for him?"

"Rin," I say, "you should have let Jeff answer on his own. Actually… every time he forgets about last night, you keep making a suggestion, and he keeps… going along with it."

Rin's not meeting my eyes. "I just don't think he did it, okay?" she says. "Jeff is, like. Way too nice to kill anyone."

"That's right!" says Jeff. "Rin and I are both innocent! This whole line of argument is just… wrong! So, um… let's get back on track!"

"Hmm," Momoka says. "The two suspicious people… don't suspect each other…"

"It's super duper weird!" says Yuna. "It's almost like… like you're in cahoots!"

"I don't know what's going on, here," Naomi says, glaring at Jeff, "but Jeff always goes off on his own after Drama Club. Three nights ago, as we were all walking back, Jeff separated from us to take a dip in the pool—or so he told us. Then, two nights ago, he separated from us to enter the gymnasium—for some brief exercise, he told us."

"The pool is the scene of the crime," Kenji notes. "So… that's a little suspicious. But… what about the gym? There's nothing suspicious in there… right?"

TRUTH BULLET: HAIR UNDER BLEACHERS

"There is, actually," I say. "If we consider Rin to be suspicious, then… there's a piece of evidence in the gym that we shouldn't overlook. Jun and Tsubasa searched under the bleachers—and they found a long, blonde hair."

"They did!?" Jeff gasps.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Rin mutters. "Again with the fucking hair. It doesn't even mean anything."

"But, Rin," I say, "that hair had to have gotten there somehow. Were you inspecting the area under the gym bleachers sometime recently?"

Rin hesitates. "Sure," she says. "Whatever. That's probably, like. The reason for it."

"But, then… why didn't you say it to begin with? When Tsubasa first mentioned that hair, you acted really weird. It's the same with the hair on the armchair. If your reactions weren't like this, you wouldn't seem nearly as suspicious."

"Yeah," says Tsubasa, "no offense, Rin, but… you're really not doing yourself any favors."

"You're both acting like total weirdos!" says Yuna.

"Rin, Jeff," Naomi says, grimacing, "this had better not be what it looks like."

"I don't want to believe it, either," says Kenji. "But… from the evidence we have… it really looks like Rin and Jeff are… collaborating, for some reason."

"There is good reason to be suspicious," says Emi. "However, it would be most unwise to leap to conclusions."

"The creepy bitch is right," says Jun. "Before we can confirm one theory, we have to falsify all the other possibilities."

"Other… possibilities?" says Kenji.

Jun grins. "Heh," he chuckles. "I wonder. What's something two people might be doing in secret? Whether it's under the bleachers, on an armchair…" He looks at me, still grinning. "…Or sitting in a tree?"

Sitting in a tree…?

-HANGMAN'S GAMBIT-

K******

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KISS***

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KISSI**

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KISSIN*

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KISSING

"Sitting in a tree…" I repeat. "…K-I-S-S-I-N-G…?"

"Killing!?" Jeff gasps.

"Kissing, you dummy!" Yuna shouts. "As in, smooching! Making out! The Two-Tongue Tango!"

"…Oh," says Jeff. "Phew! That's way less bad!"

"It is less bad," I agree. "So, if that's all you two were doing… you probably should have admitted to it by now."

"I want to admit it," Jeff insists. "But, um, Rin won't let me. She made me promise to keep it secret."

"You idiot," Rin mutters.

"Um, Jeff," I say, "you… basically just admitted it, though."

"I did?" Jeff gasps. "Oh, no!" Suddenly, his tension wanes; he scratches his head. "But, um, Rin… maybe that's for the best. I don't want everyone to think we're killers."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Yuna shouts. "You put us through all this just to cover up your lip-locking shenanigans!? What the heck!?"

"It's none of your business, okay?" Rin mutters. She's not looking anyone in the eye; her dark face is turning red, I notice.

"It very much is our business," Naomi replies sternly, glaring at Rin. "By trying to cover up your public affairs, you've only made this case more confusing for the rest of us. Frankly, this all could've been avoided if you'd kept private matters in your own private rooms."

"I, um," Jeff says, blushing slightly, "I did suggest that to Rin, but, um… she said it'd be 'more exciting' to do it in a public area."

"Seriously?" Yuna squeaks. "Keep your fetish away from us, Rin!"

Rin's face is super red now. I feel kinda bad for her.

"Well," I say, "I guess I should've seen this coming. When Rin and Jeff kissed at the pool party… they looked like they were really enjoying it. I guess they decided to keep going on their own time. So, they looked for places outside their rooms where they weren't likely to be caught. Like under the bleachers in the gym… or Hiroto's office, which locks at night. They must've gone in right before 10:00 p.m., so that the door would be locked if anyone else tried to get in."

"I see," says Kenji. "The Ultimate Offices are locked at night—but only from the outside. So, Rin and Jeff were able to get out, but no one else could go inside… and… disturb them."

"Anyway," says Jeff, "now you know—we're not the killers! We, um, can both account for each other at the time of death."

"Akiko died at 11:30 p.m.," Shingo reminds him. "You were both still in the Ultimate Attorney's Office at that time?"

"Yes!" Jeff admits. "We didn't leave until a while after midnight."

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "You were kissing for… a long time…"

"We also had sex!" Jeff helpfully points out.

"Jeff!" I squeal.

"Fucking hell," Rin grumbles.

"W-what?" Jeff stammers. "It's relevant information! I—I didn't want anyone to get suspicious of how long we were in there!"

"Mhm," Momoka mutters. Her face is a bit pink. "To confirm their alibis… we probably need… more details…"

"Y-yeah," Tsubasa nervously agrees. He's also a bit pink. "Before we can believe them, we probably need, uh… a more detailed account, of… you know…"

"No!" I interject. "No details! We've heard enough!"

"We have heard enough," Naomi says sternly, glaring. "Enough to know that you two have definitely engaged in rule-breaking behavior. Rest assured—the Captain will punish you for this."

Naomi says this… as if Captain Mizuki wasn't off in her own, desolate world, paying no attention whatsoever to any of our words.

"…Right…" Tsubasa says. "…Breaking the rules… not cool, dude…" Then he half-whispers to Jeff: "High-five after the trial, bro."

"Tsubasa!" I gasp. "We can hear you!"

Takeru laughs. "Very well," he says. "Then I, too, shall join in the highing of fives."

"Takeru!"

"Fucking voyeurs," Rin mutters. Her face is so red, it's almost glowing.

"I-it's okay, Rin," I say hesitantly. "I can high five you later, if it makes you feel better."

"…Me too…" says Momoka.

"Not me!" says Yuna. "Sorry, but—you missed your chance! If you'd just confessed from the beginning, I'd be high-fiving you all day and night!"

"Sorry, everyone," says Monokuma, "but I'm gonna opt-out too. I've never high-fived before, and I want my first time to be special!"

"Uh…" says Kenji. "Is it just me, or… has this conversation gone a bit off the rails?"

"Heh," Jun chuckles. "The rails stopped existing a long while ago."

"But, Rin," I say, looking at her embarrassed face, "I'm… kind of surprised. You're usually pretty open about… uh… things like this."

"You don't get it," Rin mutters. "It was only hot because it was secret. You've all just ruined it."

"Is… is that what this was all about?"

"C-can we please move on?" Jeff asks. "Our alibis have been confirmed, right?"

"Yeah," says Tsubasa, "I guess it is a pretty solid alibi."

"Mhm," says Momoka. "A hard… firm… alibi."

"Yeah. A stiff, raging… alibi."

"Okay, okay!" I shout. "We get it! They have an alibi!"

"Well," Shingo says, smiling, "this has been a fun little tangent. However, now that several sources of confusion have been cleared up, my certainty has risen above 95%." His smile fades. "So, I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore."

Shingo points, and announces:

"Jun Mujun, the Ultimate Hacker, is the culprit in this case!"