Sterile.
That was how everything felt. He was hiding deep behind his mask, forcing himself to be the Career they expected. He kept everything impassive on the hovercraft, pretending to barely even notice as his tracker was implanted deep within his arm. He didn't dare look over towards where Katniss and Peeta sat the entire flight. He knew if he saw her, he would crack.
Not right now. You can look at her whenever you get on the plates. Not yet. Not yet.
Everything in the underground corridors below the arena was sterile. Stainless steel, brand new, not even a fingerprint. Amerite helped him into his outfit. Plain undershirt, double layered jacket, cargo style pants, heavy boots with good soles for running, it didn't give much away aside from the double-layered jacket. That told him it would be cold at night. Otherwise, they could be looking at any type of climate.
He was like a robot, going through the motions as he was instructed to enter the tube.
"Thank you for everything." He allowed Amerite a moment of his true self. She had been good to him. He hoped he would see her again.
"Of course. Good luck." She gave him a soft smile as he stepped into the glass tube. He still felt foggy, mind clouded over. Lost in between himself and the mask. Until the door to the tube shut, and he was sealed off from reality into the arena.
That's when it hit him. A sharp knife of fear in his back. He was a tribute. Katniss was a tribute. Mom is watching. Alice is watching. He's going to have to kill people.
He refused to allow the fear in, he blocked it out. He forced himself to focus despite it. There was no room for that here. Not when so much was riding on him, not when Katniss's life was dependent on him.
The tube moved upwards, slowly rising him into blinding light. He shut his eyes until he felt it come to a stop. Every ounce of his training kicked in at once, adrenaline started coursing through his veins. His senses reached out, taking in his surroundings as he opened his eyes to adjust to the light.
Itwasn't hot, there was a cool breeze.
Behind him, there was the sound of water lapping gently. A water source.
Green grass in front of him, littered with supplies. Weapons, survival kits, backpacks, jugs of water, rope.
Trees in the distance, a thick forest surrounding the edge of the field where the cornucopia was.
Tributes on either side of him. Clove was 5 down to his right. Peeta was 2 down from her. Glimmer was directly across from him. Marvel was 7 down on his left. Katniss.
Katniss was only one plate away from him to his left. The boy from 9 was between them. Her eyes darted around, focusing on a spot directly in front of her.
Of course, they placed the bow and arrows directly in front of her. Of course, they'd tempt her. Why wouldn't they? Please Katniss, don't go for it.
Focus.
He was head on to the cornucopia. He planned his path, a gleaming silver sword about 30 yards ahead of him. He adjusted his body into a running stance.
30 seconds.
He turned his head, glancing at Katniss. She was looking right at him, eyes unsure.
"Run away." He mouthed to her quickly. Her eyes showed recognition, but she didn't respond. She just looked away from him.
20 seconds.
He steeled himself for what was about to come, allowing the determination to flow through him. He took a deep breath, adjusting his feet. His heart was pulsing faster than he had ever felt it.
10 seconds.
Remember why you are doing this.
5 seconds.
The image of his mother's face ran through his mind. The sound of her voice. His promise to her.
I promise Mom, this isn't me. I have to do this right now. I have no choice.
3 seconds.
His baby sister. He thought of Alice's face, all chubby cheeks and baby teeth. Her big blue eyes. Her first steps. Her first word.
Please don't watch this.
1 second.
He brought forward the memory of the way her fire had consumed him. The image of her sleeping face this morning, the feeling of her lips on his.
Katniss, please don't follow me.
And then, the cannon went off.
Everything was a blur. He was sure he had left his body as his legs moved faster than they ever had. He sprinted on a beeline for the cornucopia. He heard nothing, saw nothing, his entire focus was the sword growing closer and closer to him.
The second his hand wrapped around the handle; he was his own worst fear. He swung effortlessly, taking out the boy who had been behind him with one blow. The boy from 8.
He couldn't think, couldn't process what he had just done. He scanned the area, only a few had made it to the mouth of the cornucopia yet. He could see figures disappearing in the trees. Clove was about 8 yards away from him to his left, having already found her knives. Someone came up on him from the other side.
He swung again, the boy from 4 dropped to the ground in front of his feet. His blood splattered on Cato's shoes. He barely recognized it before he turned and ran in Cloves direction.
That was when he saw a flash of a dark braid out of the corner of his eye. He moved instinctively, turning and running in his direction.
For the first time, the fear made its way to his head before he had a chance to stop it. It wrapped around him like a vice, its claws dug into his heart. Katniss was here, in the bloodbath. She was running towards an orange backpack. The girl from 6 ran directly in front of him, blocking his path to Katniss. Cato swung his sword, throwing her body out of the way and pushing forward.
The boy from 10 was now charging towards Katniss, she couldn't see him. He held an axe in his hand, it's steel already doused with blood. Cato was almost there, just a few more strides and he could tackle him. But the boy got to Katniss first, he threw himself on top of her.
Cato saw nothing but red. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he watched the boy draw the axe back. The glint of the silver steel in the sun, the bright red blood dripping off the handle, Katniss's eyes opened in fear.
She is going to die. This will all be for nothing. She will die and you will with her.
"NO." he heard his own roar as he brought the sword down on the boy. It went directly through his back, blood spilling onto the green grass, splattering onto Katniss's body.
He heard the sharp whiz of a knife next to his ear. One of Clove's knives swirled through the air, embedding itself in the boy's skull as Cato brought his leg up, kicking him off the sword. His body fell next to Katniss's shocked frame.
She was staring at him, eyes wide and afraid for a moment. One moment of fear directed towards him, he hid how his heart twisted in his chest, how he felt himself break at the thought of what she had just seen him do.
"Get her!" He heard Clove's frustrated yell. Katniss gulped, scrambling to her feet.
"Run." He mouthed at Katniss, before he started to chase her. She sprinted towards the woods. He kept his pace slower than hers, letting her gain on him as he stumbled after her. His footsteps were purposely clumsy, weaving back and forth as he followed her towards the forest. He heard the same sound before, the whizzing of a knife again past his head. Yet again, the cold knife of fear pierced his chest as he saw where it was aimed. Clove's knife was sailing directly towards Katniss's head. Please, please, please. Please no.
At the very last second, Katniss turned around. The orange backpack she gripped in her hands flew upwards, covering her face. He stumbled as the knife piercedthe fabric, and she immediately turned again and continued running. He followed her as the trees grew closer. They ran into the forest, him following her a good 600 yards before he called her name.
"Katniss! Stop!" He heard himself cry.
She stopped on a dime and he nearly flew into her back. She was leaned over panting. This was the first time the Capitol would see them interact, might as well give the sponsors something to start putting money on the table for.
He grabbed her, pulling her towards him, wrapping one hand around her waist and another on the back of her braid. He slammed his lips to hers, kissing her as hard as he could. She responded, one hand weaving in his hair and pulling him down towards her.
The fire grew hotter as he lost himself in her for a moment, catching on the trees around them and exploding. He pulled away, panting roughly as he places small, quick kisses across her face.
"Why did you do that? God, you almost got yourself killed. Why did you do that?" He heard his voice saying, panicked and rough.
"I had to go for the bow or something. I couldn't be completely empty handed." She breathed, her voice breaking.
He pulled back looking at her face, there was a spot of blood above her eyebrow. The boys probably, not hers. She was injury free, completely fine.
"You're okay, you have your backpack and a knife now. It's the woods, you know how to survive in the woods, right?" He asked, she nodded softly still panting as she looked at him.
"Okay, I'll get you your bow. Just go now. I will find you soon, I promise." He felt himself breaking at the thought of leaving her alone in here. She cocked her head at him, looking at him for a moment before reaching on her tip toes and kissing him. Soft, slow, so much like the one from this morning that had nearly brought him to his knees. Her love wrapped around him like a blanket, filling him with strength.
"I love you. You're still you." She whispered as she pulled away from him. She offered him confirmation he didn't know he needed. He hadn't processed the blood on his hands yet, and she reminded him that when he did, she was keeping her promise from this morning.
"I know. I love you too. I love you; I love you so much." He uttered, his lips against her forehead as he gently pulled her in his arms.
"Meet me on the moon?" She asked, giving him a tiny smile.
"I'll see you there." He answered, somehow finding the strength to smile back.
And for the second time today, she was gone.
He took a deep breath, gearing himself up to run back into the bloodbath. He adjusted his grip on his sword as he walked back into the direction of the cornucopia.
The capitol is probably going crazy right about now. They would've never seen that one coming.
He imagined Caesar's reaction, how the citizens reacted to their relationship. He hadn't intended to reveal his motives so soon, but he had no other option. If Clove hadn't seen him, he could have just let her run away and stayed at the cornucopia. But, of course, Clove would be targeting Katniss. She would not be happy when he returned without her head in his hands.
He could see where the tree line started now, his jog slowing to a stop. He took his sword, clenching his jaw and drawing it across his arm gently. He felt the familiar fell of hot, red blood dripping from the wound. It wasn't deep, he just needed something to tell Clove as to why he stopped running. He pressed his hand against the wound, smearing the blood around a bit, making it look worse than it was. He took off jogging again back to the field.
Bodies. Mangled, broken children. Bright red blood staining the green grass. Weapons everywhere. Supplies strewn about. He felt bile rise in his throat as he broke the tree line, reality had finally hit him.
At once, all of the adrenaline was sucked from his body.
Welcome to the 74th Annual Hunger Games.