"This is going to hell in a handbasket," House growled, getting up to get another beer. "You want a refill?"
"No, not right now. This will be all right, House. It will," Lucius asserted when House snorted from the kitchen. "He is concerned for you…"
"He's jealous," House responded as he returned and sat dejectedly on his piano bench. Lucius didn't fail to notice that he'd placed himself equidistant between Lucius and Wilson.
"Yes, he is and he's not ready or able to acknowledge why," Lucius agreed. "He'll come back out calmer, ready to ask more questions. He just needs time to process this, just as you do at times. Will you give him that time?"
"I set this up for him, didn't I?" House answered snappishly.
"Yes, but that doesn't answer the question."
House rolled his eyes and looked down at the beer bottle in his hands, toying at the edges of the label before nodding in response.
A few minutes later, Wilson returned to the living room, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and clearly feeling embarrassed.
"I'm sorry about losing my temper," Wilson said, looking between Lucius and House. "I didn't come here to argue, I wanted to learn more about what your clan is and the lifestyle you have as opposed to the rest of the BDSM community. Would it…is it all right if I stay? I do still have some questions I'd like to ask."
Lucius looked directly at House, deferring the right to decide to him. House looked up when Lucius didn't answer Wilson, grimacing when he realized why he was doing it.
"You wanted to understand, that's what this was about, so get another beer, sit down and ask your questions," House growled half-heartedly.
Wilson let out a sigh of relief and went to get himself another beer then returned to his seat on the couch.
"Before you continue, Wilson, I'd like to point something out to you," Lucius interjected. "Many people would find offense or at least not the welcome they were hoping to hear in House's remarks to you just now. What did you hear him say? Not his words or vocal tone, which is all most people would hear, but what did you hear?"
Wilson looked over at House and cracked a crooked grin that clearly showed how much he did care about his friend. "That was House-speak for 'you're forgiven, don't make a big deal out of it and get back to what we were doing before it happened.'"
"Then I stand corrected; you can see some of the nuances in his behavior, you simply need to hone that skill to a much greater degree," Lucius replied.
House snorted and rolled his eyes but there was relief in them and his whole body posture was much more relaxed. Wilson smiled and turned back to Lucius.
"Okay, I've asked House these questions before and I believe his answers. I do," he emphasized looking at House pointedly until he nodded acceptance of that statement. "I'd like to ask them of you anyway, to know if they're the same or if maybe it's different from your standing as a master and his as a submissive. Would that be okay?"
"Absolutely. Ask away," Lucius responded, keeping a surreptitious eye on House as Wilson began.
"Okay. I have only known two other couples that were into to BDSM, one that had this whole contract. She gave away her right to make any decisions on her own, no money, no job and had to have his permission or instructions to do anything. How close to that scenario is what your clan is like?"
"Very little," Lucius responded. "I have no desire to have that level of control over my subs, nor does Marius, unless the subs themselves require it and then we try to limit the length of time. We do not have any control over House's money, accounts, apartment lease or his job."
"Okay. That's good. So, House explained to me that he wears that necklace all the time unless he's at home or in Marius' house. That it's supposed to serve as a 24/7 reminder. Why put the collar on here in his house unless you or Marius is here?" Wilson continued.
"It's one of the first steps of trust between master and sub, as well as an indicator of the commitment he's made. Especially in the beginning days and weeks, every time the switch is made between the necklace and the collar, there's a conscious choice being made to embrace the role."
"After the first couple meetings, it's proof that it's still real," House added quietly, staring off at the fireplace.
Wilson looked over at House, a bit worried at the odd tone in his voice, one he was well acquainted with. It was the one that said House still wasn't convinced this would last. Lucius stood up and walked over to House, cupping his cheek in his palm and turning his face so that he could look him in the eye.
"Reassurance is often needed and not just in the beginning," Lucius said with a small smile as he stroked House's face. Wilson sat in stunned silence as he watched House lean into the touch. "Even Marius needs reassurance from me from time to time. The necklace and the collar are but one means of providing that. Come. Sit with me," he said to House, drawing him to his feet. "Wilson, switch seats with us, please."
Lucius took the seat Wilson vacated and lightly tugged House's hand, urging him to sit down next to him. House resisted for a moment, concerned about what Wilson would think but he desperately wanted Lucius' support and so sat down, leaving a bit of distance between them but certainly not hugging the opposite arm like Wilson had expected to see. Lucius laid his arm along the back of the couch and stroked through House's hair before laying one hand comfortingly on House's shoulder.
Wilson blinked in disbelief for a moment, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times, unable to decide what if anything to say.
Lucius took the lead, pulling the necklace he wore out from under his shirt.
"This is the necklace my master gave me. Each necklace bears a symbol that's slightly different from the master's and different for each submissive. The collar is the same. For instance, Marius' collar has intricate, interweaving designs as there are many facets to his personality and spirituality. House's collar bears designs that include the medical caduceus, formed with five continuous lines, reflective of the five lines of a musical staff."
"Oh. Wow, that's… that's a lot more thought into the design than I had imagined," Wilson commented, having regained his composure. "Can you explain then what it means when you say that this lifestyle is for life as opposed to scenes or the contract type?"
"What we mean is that once we accept a new sub into our clan, they are a permanent member. Instead of playing out different scenes, as we might do when we go into a club, we approach bondage and discipline as a means to grow closer to each other, to work through issues from our past, and to become more attuned to ourselves for personal growth."
"Uh… how does B&D do that?" Wilson asked, disbelief evident on his face.
Lucius tilted his face to contemplate Wilson as he thought about how to proceed from here.
"Let me ask you some questions first, Wilson, to understand what you think bondage and discipline is. Would that be all right?"
"Um…sure, yes, okay," Wilson agreed.
"What would you say bondage and discipline is?"
"I would say it's something that people do who get sexual pleasure out of pain, restraints and submission, whether giving it or receiving it."
"And what would you think draws such a person to one side or the other?"
Wilson furrowed his brow to think about this question for a moment. "To the giving side, I think maybe someone who is used to being in charge and in control. Someone that has a bit of a dark streak. That likes to make people do what they tell them. To the receiving side, someone that is more submissive and feels out of control or guilty."
"And why do you think sexual acts are part of it?"
"Part of the humiliation and domination?" Wilson guessed. "Or maybe just a darker form of hooking up or swinging."
"How do you think that might help someone like House?"
"That's exactly what I don't understand," Wilson said with frustration. "He's spent years on different drugs and all kinds of crazy schemes trying to get rid of his leg pain and now he's involved in a lifestyle that uses pain. It doesn't make any sense!"
"You're focusing entirely on the method and completely ignoring everything going on in the background," Lucius said firmly. "In the clan, the first and foremost lesson between dom and sub is trust."
"Trust. House doesn't trust anyone," Wilson huffed.
House let out a snort of disgust and surged off the couch. "You said you wanted to understand but it's clear that you don't! You just want to pronounce judgment and prove how much better you are than me!" he shouted angrily, leaning all his weight on his cane holding it directly in front of his body like a shield.
Wilson stood as well, matching House's anger, but before he could say anything, Lucius stepped between him and House.
"I must admit, Dr. Wilson, that I have my doubts about you and whether you would do House good or harm. You should consider yourself fortunate that he values your friendship as highly as he does; any other man, myself included, would have thrown you out of the house by now. No," Lucius snapped, raising his voice and a hand to forestall Wilson from saying anything. "You have made several snide and cutting remarks tonight. One more from you and I will insist that you leave at once. Sit down, Dr. Wilson," he ordered sternly.
Wilson slowly sat down, frowning at Lucius' commanding tone.
"I will make one more attempt to explain things to you," Lucius continued. "If you choose to remain so closed minded, you will be asked to leave and all explanations are finished. Of course, there's the door. You are free to leave at any time."
Wilson was still feeling stung at being the one called out but he wasn't about to leave now. He could be as stubborn as House could be at times.
After it was clear Wilson wasn't leaving, Lucius took a breath to calm his own anger and continued.
"I want you to look at House, Dr. Wilson. Take him in entirely. Tell me what emotions do you see? What is his body language telling you right now?"
Wilson frowned and looked over at House, trying to meet his eyes but House was staring at Lucius' feet.
"He's angry. He won't look at me. His whole body is tensed up and his muscles are twitching."
"And what does this tell you?"
"That's he's angry at me," Wilson responded simply. Lucius shook his head and sighed, sorely tempted to smack Wilson on the back of his head for blind denial. "Well what do you see then?" Wilson asked sharply, completely unused to having his expertise on House questioned.
"There is anger. He is also hurt by the snide remarks you've made that deny any gains he has made with Marius. He fears that you will continue to make negative judgments and that he may one day have to make a choice; whether to keep something that is good for him or give it all up to keep you. He won't meet your eyes because he doesn't want to see the condescension in them. He's twitching because he would prefer to fight or run, rather than stand here and endure these emotions. And he's holding his cane out in front of him as a protective barrier, a means to attempt to keep you from hurting him more severely than you already have," Lucius responded.
"You accuse him of not trusting people. Tell me this, Dr. Wilson. Do you have enough trust to get completely naked in front of a man you've met only a few times? To stand with your hands clasped behind your neck and allow that man to touch your body, to run his hands over every inch of skin? To make yourself that completely vulnerable? I don't believe you do. House does. He's already proven that to Marius and myself. It is you who doesn't know how to trust, Wilson. Not in the things that really matter."
Lucius looked at House and nodded toward the couch. House stood there, unsure whether he wanted to sit back down or flee to the bedroom, but in the end he sat down onto the couch and was once again joined by Lucius.
Wilson, though stung by Lucius' censure, couldn't help but think over what he'd said and couldn't even imagine House allowing anyone to touch him like that. And yet, House had told him that it had happened and despite being clearly angry and upset, House was purposely sitting close enough that Lucius was able to easily lay his hand on his shoulder. After a few minutes, Wilson cleared his throat and spoke.
"Okay, I can admit that it would take a great deal of trust to get completely naked in front of someone you barely knew," he began, "even more so to then let them touch you all over and not have sex afterward. I mean, I certainly couldn't do that with you," he said, nodding toward Lucius. "I feel uncomfortable and awkward with the idea of getting naked in front of House, unless I was drunk or needed medical attention."
"And yet you can jump in the sack with every nurse that catches your eye," House groused. "You don't have any problem getting naked with them."
"You hire hookers!"
"I don't get naked with them," House returned. "Just the pertinent bits."
"Great imagery," Wilson said with a sardonic grimace. "Okay. So once you got beyond touching each other like that, how long before he got your agreement to bondage?"
"He already had my agreement," House said, in a tone that said 'I told you this already'.
"You know what I mean."
"I'm not going to give you play by play of all our encounters, Wilson. Look, you know that loss of one sense heightens the rest," House said and Wilson nodded. "So a blindfold means that the lightest touch feels magnified. A restraint that prevents movement does the same thing. Plus, you can pull against the restraint. You don't have to control yourself and hold yourself in place so rigidly. A bit means you don't have to stay silent, you can just let words come because they aren't intelligible. There's a safe word, or signal if he's using a bit. Give the safe word and the whole encounter stops."
"But how are things different with the clan? How does it change when you're with a group for life instead a scene you can walk away from?"
"It's a long-term relationship, Wilson," House said exasperated. "With people that I know, that know me. I don't know how else to explain it to you."
"I think that Wilson understands you perfectly well, House," Lucius interjected. "If I were to make an educated guess, Wilson, I would say that your relationship is on the verge of falling apart. That will leave you looking for your fallback relationship with House. Your objections have little to do with the clan and everything to do with your fear of losing him."
"What? Sam and I are fine! You can't make that kind of assumption; you don't even know her! House and I are best friends not in some kind of relationship," Wilson blustered, face flushing and rising to his feet.
"Methinks the doctor doth protest too much," Lucius intoned. House narrowed his eyes as he studied Wilson and nodded.
"I've got to go," Wilson said harshly, grabbing up his jacket. "I'll see you at work," he snapped, and left.
House puffed his cheeks and blew out the air all at once. "Damn it."
"Do you think I have it wrong?" Lucius asked.
"No, I think you hit the nail on the head. I should have seen it. We've always had this weird push-pull thing between us," House answered. "Now he's on the run right back into the soulless harpy's arms."
Lucius chuckled darkly at House's description of Sam. "His bond with you is too strong to keep him away for long. Should we stay here tonight, in case he does?"
House considered that for a moment. "Yeah. If he goes home to Sam, he won't be back but if he goes out to drink, he will be."
"All right. Care to join me in the shower?"
"No. I've been ignoring my piano lately."
Lucius nodded and stroked House's arm then he went into the bathroom. House poured another bourbon and went to the piano, pouring all of the confusion and jangled emotions over Marius and Wilson into the music.