NOTE:This chapter closes off the Saiyan Saga. Also, the next couple of chapters the cast will be smaller. For movies(And the next Kai episode) I plan to keep the cast smaller. It will change, it'll just be smaller. More of the Fairy Tail members will appear for the later sagas.
I hope you all enjoy, stay safe, and please leave a review.
Chapter 13: The Punchline Part 3
(scene opens up with Vegeta recovering from the Spirit Bomb)
VEGETA: You know, at a time like this I really only have one thing to say to you... BITCH SLAP!
KRILLIN: OH SNAP!
(Vegeta slaps Krillin, knocking him down and whining in pain)
(Krillin Owned Count: 10)
"He deserved that one," Lucy said.
VEGETA: (walks up to the remaining Z-Fighters) And as for the rest of you... I'm going to end this, with a Big Bang... kind of attack.
"Will probably be an attack name later on," Levy mentions.
(Vegeta begins gathering up energy)
GOKU: Oh, this isn't going to end well... (closes his eyes)
(Vegeta screams and unleashes an explosive attack, causing Krillin, Goku and Gohan, who gets knocked away, to scream)
VEGETA: (breathes heavily and notices that everyone's still alive) Oh, you have got to be kidding me!
"Either he really sucks at killing, or they're extremely stubborn," Gajeel said.
"I'm hoping for both," Wendy answers.
VEGETA: They're still alive?! Oh to hell with it... (begins floating and lands next to Gohan, with an arrow pointing to his tail)
"Wait, it can grow back?" Levy asked, and wrote that down.
"But, limbs can't just grow back," Carla complains.
"I think it's like hair in a way. The more you cut it, it'll just grow back," Erza speculates.
VEGETA: (thinking) I may not have enough energy to kill you all at once, (begins walking towards Gohan) but I can still kill all of you without any troub-
(Yajirobe comes out of nowhere and slashes Vegeta's armor with his katana)
"Yeah fat man!" Natsu cheered.
VEGETA: You... You cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!
"Aw!" Lisanna cooed.
YAJIROBE: I'm sorry, I'm sure your father was a great man!
VEGETA: I hated my father!
"Oh," Lisanna responded sadly.
"Then why are you still wearing it," Natsu asks.
"Good armor is good armor," Erza answers him.
YAJIROBE: Well then, I'm sure your father was a total prick.
VEGETA: (punches Yajirobe in the face) How dare you talk about my father like that!
(Yajirobe gets sent flying into a pile of rocks)
"Make up your mind," Gray said.
VEGETA: (while beating up Yajirobe) Finally, I can just sit back and enjoy myself. No cares in the world! (Gohan is seen staring at Vegeta's artificial moon) I can beat these worthless cretins all day long and I- (stops attacking Yajirobe) I think I'm forgetting something...
(Gohan begins his transformation into an Ōzaru)
"Oh shit."
"That's not good," Mira said.
VEGETA: Oh dammit, the kid- that's right! (in his thoughts) Oh wait, I'll just become the mighty Ōzaru and... Wait, I don't have my tail! (out loud to Yajirobe) This fat bastard cut it off!
YAJIROBE: Haha- (gets hit) Ungh!
VEGETA: (begins attacking Gohan to stop his transformation) No, no, stop it! Stop it, damn you! WHY?! WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE JUST DIIIE?! (Gohan fully transforms into an Ōzaru)
"Because, evil never wins," Wendy gives out her childlike answer.
KRILLIN: (noticing Gohan as an Ōzaru) Yay! Gohan's transformed! He's gonna save us all!
(Ōzaru Gohan roars and smashes rocks)
KRILLIN: (covering his head) Oh no! Gohan's transformed! He's gonna kill us all!
"Probably," Gajeel says.
"Someone do something!" Mira yells.
(Ōzaru Gohan roars and grabs a huge rock)
GOKU: (telepathically) Gohan? This is Daddy... I know you're angry right now, but you have to focus your anger. Re-Remember Icarus?
"Who?" Levy asked.
(shows a flashback of Icarus getting blasted. Ōzaru Gohan is angry)
Everyone stares horrified.
GOKU: (to Vegeta) He did it!
(Ōzaru Gohan roars in anger)
"That's one way to piss off a 5 year old," Gajeel said.
VEGETA: Oh, that's bulls***! (dodges Ōzaru Gohan's attack) I haven't killed a damn thing since I got to this godforsaken planet! (Looks at camera) Not for a lack of trying, mind you.
"You killed Nappa," Lucy mentions.
(Ōzaru Gohan continues to attack Vegeta)
VEGETA: (to Yajirobe) Hey fatass, wanna take off this one's tail too?
(cuts to Yajirobe groaning in pain)
"I don't think he can," Lily inputs.
VEGETA: FINE! I'll DO IT MYSELF, THEN! (fires a Destructo Disk at Gohan's tail, cutting it off) Haha! I did it! I'm the best, around! (Ōzaru Gohan begins shrinking in front of Vegeta) No one's ever going to keep me down... (notices Ōzaru Gohan falling right above him) No... (Ōzaru Gohan falls on top of him) NOOOOO!
"And let this be the end of him," Lucy hopes.
(Vegeta gets crushes by Ōzaru Gohan, cuts to Vegeta badly injured with Gohan, naked and unconscious, lying on top of him)
VEGETA: (thinking) Crushed and broken beneath an unconscious naked child... (takes out a small remote control device to call his space pod) Yep, I think I'm done here…
"Again, I don't blame him," Gajeel said.
(cuts to the ruins of East City where a number of radiation-suited investigators are gathered around Vegeta and Nappa's space pods)
KIRK: So Mr. Spock, what do you make, of this... ship?
SPOCK: Well sir, I would have to find it highly illogical to refer to this as a "ship"; the spherical design incorporates no propulsion system. It looks more like an orbiting vessel, or a satell- (Vegeta's space pod becomes active and flies away) Aaah!
KIRK: Suck it, Spock!
(cuts back to the battlefield with Vegeta's space pod landing in front of him)
VEGETA: (thinking while flipping himself over) Alright, I'm just gonna get in my ship... (starts crawling to his pod) I'm gonna fly back to Frieza Station... And I'm gonna sleep this off like a baaad hangover...
"Again with this Freezer guy," Natsu brings up.
"It's Frieza," Lucy corrects him.
KRILLIN: (appears next to Vegeta holding Yajirobe's katana) You're not going anywhere! You think you can kill all of our friends and threaten our lives and just leave?
"You'd be surprised," Gajeel said, thinking back to his own past.
VEGETA: Would you be surprised if I said "yes"?
KRILLIN: I'm going to end this, and YOU, RIGHT NOW! NOW DIE!
"FINALLY!"
(Krillin prepares to kill Vegeta with Yajirobe's katana, but stops short)
"What?"
GOKU: Krillin, wait! Vegeta, are you sorry?
"Excuse me?" Mira asks incredulously
VEGETA: Wh-What?
GOKU: If you say you're sorry Vegeta, then you can leave.
"Goku's compassionate heart knows no bounds!" Erza's eyes sparkle with admiration.
"Goku really is awesome!" Natsu agrees with her.
Everyone else could only stare at the two in bewilderment.
VEGETA: You can't be serious…
"He is," Gray sighs.
KRILLIN: What are you talking about Goku? He killed all of our friends!
GOKU: But Krillin, if he's sorry—truly sorry—then there's nothing we can do.
VEGETA: I'm sorry. Yep, totally sorry. I just feel terrible.
"HE'S LYING!" Lucy yells in aggravation.
GOKU: Let him go, Krillin.
KRILLIN: But-But Goku...
VEGETA: (now inside his space pod) Yes, I am very, very, very sorry... (space pod closes) That you're all still alive! (blasts off into space) SUCKERS! (starts laughing from inside his pod) Ah, it hurts to laugh!
"Goddammit."
NARRATOR: And so our heroes looked towards the sky, their battle finally over and victory on their side. Many lives were lost, many lessons were learned, and I made out with a cool one hundred thou!
"Oh that's right! Everyone pay up!" Gajeel spoke up.
Lucy looks at him confused. "What are you talking about?"
"The bet we made. Goku lost the fight against Vegeta," Gajeel grins evilly.
Everyone who voted for Goku sputters in realization that he was right. Those who voted for Vegeta smile at the free money.
(cuts to King Kai's planet)
KING KAI: You cheating son of a-
NARRATOR: Can't hear you, don't care! Now where was I... (cuts back to Earth) how will our heroes bring back their fallen compatriots? What new dangers will present themselves? Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of DragonBall Z Abridged!
"I can't wait!" Natsu jumped up already getting over the bet.
(scene cuts to Vegeta's space pod flying through outer space)
VEGETA: (thinking) They've broken my body... I failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but at least... it can't get any worse from here...
?: Vegeta... Vegeeeeetaaaaa...
VEGETA: Wh-What?
NAPPA: (appears as a ghost) I'm haunting you.
(Vegeta's space pod is seen flying off into the distance)
VEGETA: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"And his torture never ends," Lisanna said.
(credits roll with Ghost Nappa's theme song, a parody of the Ghostbusters theme song, playing in the background)
Mira gets up and stretches, before walking over to the lacrama and deactivating it. Turning to everyone else she smiles brightly.
"So, did everyone have fun?" Mira asks.
The guild exploded into loud noises all ready to talk about the viewing.
"As stupid as most of it was, it was really enjoyable," Lucy comments before Natsu pushes her out of the way.
"THE FIGHTING WAS AWESOME! I WANNA TRY A KAMEHAMEHA OF MY OWN!" The dragon slayer. Happy flies next to his partner. "I wanna try one too Natsu!" The blue exceed joined in.
"Definitely an interesting story and I wanna know more," Levy tells her with a bright smile. Gajeel grunts trying to hide his smile. "If the squirt wants to watch more then I'll sit through more of it." Lily nods his head agreeing with his partner.
"Even though there was a lot of death and sad parts the characters were fun," Wendy says. Carla huffed and turned her head. "The humor was crude and the characters acted like children, but I wouldn't deny that this was sort of fun." Wendy smiles down at her partner.
"Goku reminds me too much of a certain hot-head, but I guess that isn't too much of a bad thing," Gray mutters. Juvia smiles at her beloved. "I enjoyed this as well, especially little Gohan!" Juvia said.
Lisanna turns to her sister. "Well, sis I'd say that this was a success. If only Elf-man was here to enjoy it," Lisanna said. Mira smiles at her little sibling. "Don't worry there's much more where that came from, so he'll have plenty of chances to see it," Mira explains.
"We can watch the rest of it later, we've been sitting here for too long anyway," Makarov tells everyone while standing on his small legs. "THAT REQUEST BOARD ISN'T GONNA EMPTY ITSELF! GO OUT THERE AND MAKE FAIRY TAIL PROUD!" The old man roared to his children.
"AYE SIR!"
Chapter End