Chapter 14: Dragon Ball Z Kai
A Week Later
"You'll really love it Elfman!" Lisanna said as she and her brother sat down in the guildhall next to Mira.
Elfman flexes his muscles and smiles. "If my sisters say it's good then I'd be unmanly to deny!" Elfman yells proudly. His sisters just smile at his usual enthusiasm.
"Shut up, so we can watch already!" Natsu shouts at Elfman. Lucy grabs him by the back of his jacket, sitting him down. "Be quiet Natsu," Lucy shushes him.
Mira gets up and walks over to the lacrama on the stage. Before she starts it up she surveys the current members.
Natsu, Lucy, Happy, her siblings, Wendy, Carla, Erza, Gray, Juvia, Gajeel, Lily, and Levy are the current members for the viewing as everyone else is busy.
"Ok then! Let's start it up," Mira said to everyone.
[Opening]
Vegeta: This is a parody, official release, and supports Akira Toriyama!
[Cut to a spaceship landing near a farmer's home]
"We already saw this," Mira comments.
"It's probably a recap of the previous arc," Levy told everyone.
"That's fine, it just means Elfman gets to see it," Lisanna said.
Farmer: You're an alien!
Raditz: I'm an alien.
Piccolo: Am I an alien?
"Yes," Levy answered.
Raditz: Probably. Where's my brother?
Piccolo: I don't know.
Raditz: Then you're useless to me! [flies away]
[Abridged Kai Credits play quickly]
[cut to Goku and friends on the beach]
Goku: I have a kid!
"A cute kid," Lisanna spoke
Gohan: I'm socially awkward.
"It's not your fault," Mira spoke softly.
Krillin: He's adorable!
[Krillin gets tail-whipped through Kame House and the owned counter goes off the scale]
"And Krillin's already a punching bag," Gray said.
Raditz: I'm here for my brother!
Goku: Am I your brother?
Raditz: Yes!
"Got through that exposition quickly," Lucy said.
[bunch of shocked faces show]
Raditz: I'm taking your son.
Goku: No, you're not! [Raditz hits him and flies away] Ah, he took my son!
"And nobody stopped it?" Elfman asks.
"You get used to it," Lisanna tells him.
"That's not manly at all," Elfman said.
Piccolo: I'm here to help you.
Goku: Aren't we enemies?
"Yes, for some reason," Levy said.
Piccolo: Nobody watched Dragon Ball. Let's go!
"There was a prequel series?" Carla asks.
Goku: Are you a Yoshi?
Piccolo: Hells yeah!
"Hell yeah!" Natsu cheered.
[they catch up with Raditz, who unzips his... area...]
"Still gross," Lucy gags.
Goku: Gross.
[Some random guy shows up in the corner and laughs]
[Raditz proceeds to kick their a**es until Goku gets him in a full-nelson]
"The ultimate technique," Erza compliments.
Goku: Piccolo! Get him!
Piccolo: [stumbles over the attack name]
"He still can't get it right?" Lily questions.
[the blast Piccolo launches pierces Goku and Raditz both]
Some Guy: DOUBLE KILL!
Elfman jumps back in surprise at the sudden gore.
"Yeah, it took us all by surprise too," Mira tells him.
Goku: And now I am the dead.
Krillin: Oh, no! Goku's dead!
"Main character killed off at the start," Levy said.
Vegeta [through the transmitter]: Hey, Nappa, let's go to Earth.
Nappa [through the transmitter]: Ballin'.
"And here's Nappa again," Lucy sighs.
Krillin: Oh, no! More Saiyans!
Piccolo: I'm taking Gohan. [flies off with Gohan]
Mira pouts.
[cut to Mr. Popo]
Mr. Popo: Hi, maggots. I'm training you. I'm terrifying and a potential rapist, but I'll never say it flat-out... BA!
"AAAHHH!" Everyone jumps back at Popo.
[cut to Piccolo teaching Gohan]
Piccolo: DODGE! [kicks Gohan]
"Green bastard," Mira grumbles.
"Is she always like this?" Elfman asks.
Lisanna whispers to her brother. "Only when Gohan is involved."
[cut to Goku in the afterlife]
Goku: Who are you?
King Kai: I'm King Kai. You now know the Kaio-Ken and the Spirit Bomb. F**k off, shut up Bojack.
"So, we skipped all of that?" Gajeel raises an eyebrow.
[cut to Piccolo and Gohan]
Piccolo: 12 months have passed! Let's go find Saiyans!
Krillin: Oh, God, it's the Saiyans!
Vegeta: Hi.
Krillin: Yamcha's here!
"That means nothing," Gray said.
[Yamcha is killed]
"Didn't even last a second," Gajeel laughs.
Krillin: Yamcha's dead!
Vegeta: Nappa, get 'em!
Nappa: I am hilarious and you will quote EVERYTHING I say.
"Yes I will!" Natsu and Happy shout.
Krillin: Tien, get 'em!
Tien: I am the only serious character in this show. That is the joke.
"Sadly he's now wrong," Carla sighs.
[Tien and Piccolo die and Krillin are down for the count]
"Still not as easy the second time," Wendy frowns.
Krillin: Oh, God! Everyone's dead!
Nappa: Hilariously derailing one-liner.
"He had a lot of those," Lisanna comments.
Goku: Goku's here!
Krillin: Goku's here!
"Goku's here!" Natsu shouts.
Vegeta: It's over nine thousaaa-
Nappa: AHHHH-
Vegeta: AHHHH-
Nappa: AHHHH-
Vegeta: aaaaaaaa-
Nappa: AAAHHH-
"AAAHHH!" Natsu and Happy scream.
Vegeta: aaaaaaaa-
Nappa: AHHHH-
Vegeta: aaaaaaa-
Nappa: AHHHH-
Vegeta: aaaaaaaa-
Nappa: VEGETA, WHY!?
"He killed his own partner!?" Elfman is shocked.
"Good riddance," Lucy mutters.
[Vegeta kills Nappa]
Vegeta: Because I'm a monkey!
[Vegeta transforms into a giant monkey]
"He wasn't wrong," Levy said
Goku: Kaio-Ken!
Vegeta: Kaio wha-?
"That's a running joke," Erza sighs.
[gets his tail cut off and reverts back to normal]
Vegeta: Oh, no! I'm not a monkey! OH, NO! The kid's a monkey! [Gohan becomes a giant monkey] DESTRUCTO DISC!
"He just yanked Krillin's move," Natsu points out.
[Vegeta rips off Krillin's attack and cuts off Gohan's tail]
Krillin: The f**k?
Vegeta: Yay! [the giant monkey body of Gohan falls on him] No!
[Vegeta gets crushed]
Vegeta: ...Leaving now. [takes off in a spaceship]
Goku: And we'll never see him again!
"Wrong," The guild said together.
Vegeta [in space]: They'll see me next episode.
[Ghost Nappa pops up]
Ghost Nappa: And I'M a ghost... Or AM I?
[End Credits Play]
Mira turns towards her younger brother. "So, how did you like it?" She asks him.
Elfman jumps out of his seat and begins to flex his muscles. "IT WAS SUPER MANLY!" Elfman yelled out.
"Glad you liked it, because we're gonna watch some more," Mira giggles at the enthusiasm.
Chapter End