Hi. A lot of the following is what I would classify first draft – in that I have written it, read over it and corrected typos and grammar. Posting as I would like to keep the story moving, but been bogged down with work commitments of late. Thanks for reading and have a very safe and enjoyable Christmas. Al

Chapter 88

It was late in the morning when Castle strolled from the elevator to the bullpen. He sighted Beckett at her desk, head down. Her straightened hair concealed her eyes but he kept a vigil on her as he approached. Esposito and Ryan were not at their desks and their computer screens were off. That meant he had some quiet time with Beckett. No detectives, no captain, no red heads. With cups of coffee placed on the desk, he sat down on his chair and make himself comfortable. He waited in silence for Beckett to complete the written work on the form she had out on the desk. Doing it old school with a paper form. She knew he was there. It was cute the way she gave a bit of a hum as her left hand pushed dark stands of hair behind her ear. That's when he noticed she wore the new earrings he'd bought her a week or so ago.

He inhaled a little deeper so he could smell her perfume, her scent. His bathroom was infused with the scents of her hygiene products, of her.

He refrained from yawning. Although he was a content, happy man, there was a weariness within him he hadn't felt in a long time, perhaps years. Every night since the explosion, their sleep had either been disrupted or he was simply unable to sleep. He'd been up wide awake, writing into the wee hours. It was only after Kate had left that morning he'd managed to catch a couple of hours of unbroken sleep. The day had been early when she had gone to work. She was as quiet as a mouse when she got ready.

During the nights, she dreamed of explosions and letting butterflies out of windows. He dreamed he lost her in the explosion, or of fire.

During the days, they carried on as though everything was perfect. Generally, it was. In the evenings, everything was perfect. It was just those damn nights.

Beckett signed the form using her work signature, done in blue ink so everyone knew it was an original. She then sat up and slipped the page into the NYPD file.

"Hey." She smiled.

"It's cute you have a business signature." He raised an eyebrow and smiled, his mouth closed.

"It's more an initial nowadays. Back when I was rookie, I used my full signature but signing Katherine Beckett gets tedious. Nowadays it's a scribble."

"What will it be when you're a Captain? An X?"

She chuckled, "Your autograph has always been your full name."

"Yes. Thank you for knowing that. My signature is different though." Then something occurred to him. "How did you know?"

"I've seen your autograph in books, on the internet. On all the sticky notes you leave for me."

He laughed, "Yes, I sign those. What do you do with them?"

"Keep them. It's hardly altered." She sat forward and reached for the take-away-cup. "You bought coffees."

"I did." Aware they were alone, he murmured, "You look beautiful." She did. She was glowing despite the restless night.

"Thank you."

A sip of coffee caused her eyes to momentarily close. She then returned the cup to the desk and checked they were alone. "You looked so cute in bed this morning, I didn't dare wake you."

"Was tired."

She whispered. "I wanted to wake you with a trail of kisses down to your-"

"Oh God." His hand pressed over his heart, "That would have woken me up. And, you would have been late for work."

She smiled, "That would have been okay, to be late, to work." She relaxed to the back of the chair and entwined her fingers in a steeple studying him for several moments.

"You would have been very late."

"Mm." Momentarily she pondered on the images he'd put in her imagination, "I'm sorry I wake you during the night."

"It's okay. Your subconscious seems to be stuck in the explosion."

"I wish it would leave the explosion. And the bloody butterflies."

"Hell yeah."

"What is it with the butterflies?" She asked pulling a questionable expression.

"I dunno. But you were scratching on the door and saying 'let them out'."

"I don't sleep walk or talk."

"No, you haven't previously walked, but you do talk in your sleep," he whispered, "But you have been quite active on your feet this week."

She smiled uncontrollably, "Funny Castle. Well, it's embarrassing that I wake up standing at the door, it's exhausting and then I can't fall back to sleep."

"Terrifying," he replied thinking back to the seconds he was woken. Made his heart thump. "You have a vivid imagination."

She shrugged. "Thing is Castle," she used hushed tones, "Besides the butterfly dream, I don't remember the nightmares. I just wake up in a panicked state wondering what the fuck just happened. And you're there."

"Explains the confused state."

"I'm thinking about seeing a therapist."

It was Rick's turn to inhale deeper, in thought. He wasn't sure about the therapy and whether it would be beneficial. There were underlying issues, beyond the bombing. It was also his turn to shrug his shoulders.

"Maybe. It's not like you to dream like you have, to wake up standing in another room." He wanted to ask her what was bothering her but he knew she would clam up like she always did. He had to be patient and wait for her to spill.

"No. Not since my Mom died."

"The explosion scared you more than you let on, didn't it?" It was rhetorical. "You chase murderers, hold them at gun point, doesn't faze you one bit. But the bomb …"

"He penetrated my home, Rick. He was in there, in my personal space. What did he look at?"

"I don't know. But you don't need therapy to help you with that. Your reaction is perfectly normal and you understand how it has affected you. I could have lost you, but I didn't and I'm very thankful for that. Time between the event and me will ease that. Currently I'm kind of reeling still."

"Mm." She nodded, "I agree. I have to figure it out."

He leaned forward and quietly asked, "Would you take some time out, Kate? I think you could benefit from a day or two of personal leave. We could go have some fun?"

"Right now?" Beckett glanced in the direction of the Captain's office.

"Yes." Castle replied, "Where is the Captain?"

"I don't know. He's been AWOL all morning." She murmured, "I have time, sick leave."

"Take it. You're not feeling well, you look very pale and need to go home." He mischievously smiled, watched her glance about and think about his suggestion.

She looked at him. "How sick?"

"I know a guy, a doctor, who will give you a medical certificate, sick. 'Couple of days' sick." He waited for the reaction, saw her stew on the idea, then she tapped the desk with her finger tips.

"I can't." She smiled, "You always know a guy, Castle."

"I know." He raised an eyebrow. "C'mon Beckett, cut loose a bit."

With his phone in the palm of his hand, he started a search.

"What are you doing?"

"Finding a place to take you for a night."

"Castle."

"Beckett." He lowered the phone and looked at her. He flatly said. "Get sick."

"I am sick, Castle," she whispered, "Exhausted."

"I know you are." He checked the time. Almost midday. "I'm going to go get us a table a Remy's. You work your magic and get your ass down there. Shall I order you the usual?"

"Please. But banana shake."

"Banana? Not strawberry?"

"Banana. A change."

"Okay. You really are off your game. Banana it is." He stood, grabbed his coffee. "Hurry up." He stepped away then stopped and turned. "You sure about banana? Chocolate maybe?"

"Banana. Please."

"Alright. Text me when you change your mind." He left her.

Beckett managed to escape the Precinct for the remainder of her shift, using proper channels. Captain gave her the all clear backhandedly commenting it was about time she took some sick leave.

Relieved of duty, she packed up her desk and was gone from the Precinct before the boys got back.

She found Castle at Remy's in their usual booth, nursing a chocolate thick shake and staring longingly at a burger and chips. She slipped onto the opposite bench seat, saw him brighten up.

"Finally. I'm fading away." He said and put down the shake now ready to eat.

"You won't fade away, Castle." She inspected lunch. Cheese burger, chips and one large banana thick shake all of which created a smile. "Eat, Castle. You look like a starved Labrador."

"I am." He picked up the burger.

"You took me seriously, Babe." She held up the shake.

"Of course." He replied. "You're nearing your umm-" He stopped.

"My?"

"Your time of the month." His eyes widened as he paused, waiting for her reaction.

"My?"

"Yes. You always go a bit quirky with your taste in food leading up to day one."

"Really? Day one?" She reached for a chip, unsure how to respond to his comment but certainly curious to know more.

He nodded. "You particularly like milk products. That's a definite sign."

"Castle." She laughed. "That's crazy? I like milk."

"Totally agree. But milk consumption goes spiralling out of control, especially at night."

She grunted, thinking about the burger and how hungry she suddenly did feel. "And afterwards?"

"Well, you go off meat during it, and then you seem to reach for savoury things after you're finished. Bon appetite." With his burger in his hands he took a bite.

Beckett sat back, amused and somewhat surprised, a little disturbed by her boyfriend's observation of her menstrual cycle. "And how long have you umm, realised this?"

He swallowed, wiped his mouth with a napkin, "I dunno. Just know it. Like you know silly things about me."

"Such as how you swipe your nose when you're about to kill someone in your video games?" She picked up the shake, took a sip. It was good.

"See? How quick you plucked one out." He pointed at the shake, "Like it?"

She nodded. She did. She was over strawberry.

"Do I really do that?"

"What?"

"Swipe my nose."

"Like you get excited about food."

"That's normal. I love food." Rick replied, "How long did the Captain give you?"

"What makes you think-"

"Kate, I know you. Although you have banked hours of overtime you would have got permission-"

"I got the rest of the day." She cut in.

"Tomorrow?"

"Maybe," she couldn't help but smile when she saw the twinkle in his eyes. He was such a boy, charismatic and charming. His tempting of her to be with him for a couple of days was easy to succumb to. She wanted to cut loose for a day or so, to be irresponsible, and his shiny blue eyes and dimpled grin were working their magic on her. She wanted him. Desired him. Ached to have him. It had kept her awake nights trying to figure out why she felt the way she did. It scared her death to feel that way, equally scared her to not have him in her life, to no longer experience that reaction.

"Eat, Babe." He encouraged. "You look beautiful but you're so pale."

Kate lowered her gaze, unsure how to respond because she was eating the chips and picking at the burger. He was well into his meal and not giving up progress.

"I don't eat as fast as you, Castle."

"Don't give me that, Beckett."

She easily laughed, "I'm eating." She picked up the shake and started a long draw on the straw while she watched him consume his meal.

"So, Castle, where are you going to take me?"

"Surprise," he replied, "But you are going to sleep like a baby tonight."

"How so?" She picked up the burger, took a bite.

"You will find out."

The taste of the burger activated Beckett's appetite, the sweetness of the sauce, the tomato. In particular, it was the cheese that got her going. Remy's always had tasty cheese. She continued to eat interested in the food, and keen to find out what Castle had planned for them.

"When we're finished eating, we'll drop by home, grab overnight bags and head off."

"Where?"

"Surprise. Remember?"

"Yes." She firmly replied.

"Your interrogation skills don't work on me. I'm immune. Just trust me, Kate, to take care of you for one night."

"I will let you." She slowly continued to eat the burger, mostly focused what was feeling in her chest. His concerns and gesture to soothe her troubled soul touched her in an unfamiliar way that she was having difficulty dealing with.

"Thank you," he replied. "Only a night." He smiled in a manner that had Beckett believing she'd just handed her life to a 10 year old on a sugar rush. "Don't fret, Beckett. I know exactly what you need."

They dropped their bags at the end of the large bed in the middle of a spacious hotel bedroom. Beckett stayed where she was but turned in a circle to take in their new surroundings. Castle certainly knew how to spoil a woman. For the next 24 hours, she shared a penthouse suite with as impressive view of the city. She also had Castle's undivided attention. No detecting, no concealing and no family. The high-end hotel was in Soho not far from the loft but far enough make it feel like they were away for a night. Excited and slightly influenced by alcohol, Castle opened the blinds using a remote control. As he approached the floor to ceiling windows, he released a whoop of pleasant surprise.

"Check out the view, Beckett." With fingers on the glass, he took in the sights of late afternoon in New York City.

She stepped in beside him. "Beautiful. We're so high up."

"We are." He gave her a nudge with his shoulder and inspected her sports outfit. Her roughed up hair was cute and her cheeks were brighter than earlier in the day. "How was the yoga class?"

"Very good." She checked the time. "Feeling relaxed. How was the bar?"

"Excellent. Very good scotch. After dinner, we'll go back." He'd had a car collect her from the yoga centre and bring her to the hotel.

"Mm." She pointed to a window of a building to their right. "Castle? Are they screwing?"

He looked and laughed. "Yep. Which is what we should be doing but this is all about recouping."

"Sex is recouping." She quickly retorted.

Castle checked her eyes that happened to hold a very adorable expression.

"Agreed, and stop seducing me because it will work." He tapped his watch. "But the massage therapist is coming for our couples' massage."

"I'll go have a shower." She turned away and returned to the bed from where she picked up a cloak hanger. She hung her evening dress out in readiness for the evening.

In the bathroom, she paused to take in the eloquence of the decor. The vanity was marble with gold tap wear and the antique black and white tiles beneath her bare feet were gorgeous. She would never get a bathroom like this one in any apartment she could afford. Castle's three bathrooms in this loft were equally as nice as this room.

She gave thought to how quickly Castle had organised their afternoon and evening. He'd chosen a venue, away from his home with activities he knew would rejuvenate her. He sent her to a private pilates class. They could be together as a couple and no one in their world would see them. They were in a world where she might cross paths with her father wining and dining with clients, but there was no way they would bump into Ryan and Esposito or any of her girlfriends. As she stripped herself of her yoga leggings she wondered if her team had wrapped up the case they'd been working on when she had left work. Captain Montgomery had ordered to her stay away until the day after tomorrow, said she'd been running on fumes and needed to recover. She had the feeling the two men had been chatting behind her back, that Montgomery had been expecting the leave request, but it didn't bother her.

When she was under the flow of hot water Castle appeared carrying a glass of scotch in each hand.

"One to relax us for the massage," he said and placed a tumbler on the vanity. "Esposito texted me."

"Oh?" Kate pushed wet hair from her face, looked at him, expecting him to be in a state of undress but he was leaning against the marble top, swishing the ice in the scotch. "What did he say?"

"Wanted to know whether I was nursing you back to health."

She laughed. "Did you answer?"

"I told him I was out of town at a high-end hotel keeping company with a very attractive woman. A model in fact. Thought I would wind him up a bit."

"Another model. You love em."

"Of course, I do. Look at you." He waved an arm up and down in the direction of her naked body. "He wants me to send a picture of said model."

"That will be interesting."

"And that's not gonna happen." He gave pause to gaze upon her naked form, soaped up, water running down her skin. "You are stunning, Kate."

She glanced to him, smiled. "You're not bad yourself. Shame you're not in here with me."

"Yes. Criminal in face." It crossed his mind to strip and step into the shower with her. "Anyway, Espo asked if I had seen you. Wanted to know how you were because you're not picking up. I tapped back you must be really sick and that I didn't know where you are."

"Okay, but what if he tells Lanie, and then she calls me or drops by the loft to check on me?"

"My mother will cover for us. You can disappear, Kate. You are an adult."

"I know."

"So, while I'm off with my model girlfriend, what are you doing?"

"Sick and staying in bed, in the guest room."

"Boring," Rick replied, "But then you did leave work because you were sick. I got out of the loft so I didn't catch it. You could be gallivanting about with some rich person.

"Funny Castle."

They heard a phone sound and looked at each other in surprise.

"Oh. Masseurs are here. Must be ready to come up here."

"They're early," Beckett said. "I'll get out."

"Quite early. I'll go answer the phone. Let them come up." He pointed and followed his hand. "You are going to enjoy this, Honey."

"I'm sure." She called after him, then rinsed her hair of conditioner."