Chapter 90

Four nights later, Rick directed the driver of the NYPD police unit to pullover to the curb outside his apartment building. The driver pulled up as Rick looked to Beckett. She was white as a ghost. Dark circles surrounded her eyes.
"Kate, we're home."

He glanced to the police officer in the front seat then back at Beckett who shifted her eyes to his.

"Let's get you inside, huh?" He opened the door, nodded to the officer who had driven them home. "Thanks for the ride, Pal."

"No worries. You both take care now," the officer said looking at them via the rear view mirror.

"Will do." Castle got out the car, waited for Beckett to get out her side, but when he realised the door wasn't going to open, he stepped around the back of the police car. He opened the door and held out his hand for Beckett. She accepted his assistance and stepped out, hopping out of the way of the car door.

The NYPD unit drove away as they crossed the side walk and it had turned the corner by the time they took the steps to the secured foyer doors. Kate hobbled up the steps without complaint, her left ankle barely able to take her weight, and she used Rick to keep her steady. Not a sound came from her. The doorman opened the door for them much to Castle's relief that he didn't have to undertake a pocket hunt for his keys.

The doorman smiled. "Good evening Mr Castle, Ms Beckett."

"Mr Feldman." Rick replied. He kept between the doorman and Kate. He didn't want the man seeing Kate's blood stained clothing. She had a cut on her forehead that had been dressed with a liquid adhesive at the hospital that the doorman would probably notice. It looked worse than it was because it was fresh. In a few days, it would be gone. With his arm firmly hooked about her waist, holding her stiffened body against him, they progressed to the elevators. She was tense. Very tense.

Moments later, in the elevator, Beckett leaned against the wall, her breathing heavy. Castle faced Beckett, touched her chin with an index finger.

"Hey?"

"Mm." Her eyes rolled and stopped when they locked on his. She looked exhausted.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "Tough week, Rick."

He caressed her chin. She referred to him as Rick. He momentarily pressed his lips together. It had been a bitch of a week for her, and she was very close to tears.

"When you get inside, get those clothes off, go for a shower, clean up. Get your ankle up." He glanced down at her sweatshirt covered in a splatter of blood and what he knew were human remains stuck to the sweater.

"Throw it out." She murmured. "Never want to wear it again."

"I will throw it out."

The elevator stopped.

"C'mon." He encouraged her to use him to support her. As the doors opened, she reached her right arm over his shoulders and his left arm returned to help her walk to the apartment.

"You should have taken the crutches and let them bandage your ankle," he muttered, wishing he could just pick her up and carry her inside.

"Its only sprained, Castle. Least of my problems."

"Yeah, on top of what you did to it when you dived into the bathtub the other day."

"It's okay," she reassured.

When the door was opened, Kate pulled away from Rick and hastily hopped inside. She limped her way to the bedroom unaided. Rick didn't follow but watched on concerned she might over balance and fall. She was fit, was strong and very capable of moving about even compromised as she was. He longed to help her but he understood she also wanted to be alone. Wanted to clean herself up. He closed and locked the door, dropped his keys in the bowl and turned about to face the living room.

His Mother was seated on the couch with a cup of tea an expression of horror on her face. He could smell the fruity aroma of the tea. She pointed towards Beckett with a look that told him to go help his girlfriend. He sighed and prepared for the pending questioning and scolding. He took a seat on the empty couch alongside Martha and huffed out a big breath.

"What a day," he commented. "She refused to let me help her so don't tell me off."

"How is she?" Martha asked giving his shoulder a light nudge with her own.

"I don't know. You know, its Beckett we're talking about. She clams up."

"She does. You're the complete opposite of each other."

"What's worse?" He smirked. "You heard about what happened?"

"Well, it's all over the news, Richard. Phones caught it."

"I'm sure." He sighed again.

"Were you there?"

"No, no. I was at the Precinct with Montgomery. Beckett didn't want me there."

"Good for her."

"Esposito called me just after it all went down."

"It looked bad. It's been on the news all evening. It must have been horrific for her."

"She's trained for that," he replied. "She'll be okay tomorrow. I bet they're saying a cop killed a criminal."

"As much."

"You saw Beckett was compromised? She got hurt, the guy got a hold of her. Had a gun against her head."

"The video isn't great. Just able to see a person is held against his, or her, will."

"Well, Esposito took the kill shot. Beckett's bullet followed but was not going to change the outcome. They're both on paid leave pending an internal investigation. Captain said already they'll clear."

"She can hardly walk, so she won't be at work any time soon."

"No, she won't be there tomorrow." He looked at his own hands wishing he'd followed Beckett to the bathroom but he was conscious she needed space and solitude for a while.

"Has she spoken to you, at all?"

"Not really, Mother. She's kind of in shock. When I got there and she found me, she jumped to me. She talked a little then, but not much since." He glanced at the time. "She spent an hour with internal affairs before they let her go, then we took her to the hospital to get her ankle checked."

Rick paused a moment recalling the site of the event. He'd arrived with the Captain minutes after the shooting had taken place. Beckett and Esposito were both found calm and collected when they had arrived. She had closed in on him and had immediately sought refuge in his embrace. Shortly after, she had been extracted from him to be questioned. That's when he'd started to worry for her. Once the experience had set in, Beckett had slipped into a state of shock. The doctor had observed it when they had arrived at the hospital via police car. She had been ushered into an examination bay.

Sitting back, he pulled out the shirt from his jeans. "Where's Alexis?"

"She went to bed about an hour ago. She anxious, darling."

"About?"

"You. Your safety."

"I'm okay. She knows that."

"The bombing, now this evening," Martha hinted.

"Oh. She thinks Beckett is a danger for me to be around," he deduced. "Jesus," he whispered.

"Yes. I told her not to be silly, you will be fine."

"Well, I'll go clean up then go see her." He glanced at the time. It was after 12.30 am. "Maybe I will check in on her in the morning."

"Good idea."

He stood up with a sense he needed to get to the bathroom. Beckett had been way too quiet. "Good night, Mom. I'm stuffed and worried about Beckett. She's had a terrible week."

He found Beckett in the bathroom. That didn't surprise him, but the fact she wasn't in the shower did. The soiled clothes were in a plastic bag on top of the wash basket and Beckett was sitting on the toilet lid, wearing only her underpants. She was crying. He wasn't used to tears from Beckett. Usually, she bottled it in, then thrashed it out of her system running or exercising at the gym. This week, there had been a few crying sessions. Tonight, she looked defeated. He gazed down at her swollen ankle. It was turning black on the left side of her ankle. He didn't know how but she had put her shoe on and walked out the ER. He pointed at her foot.

"Want ice, Honey?"

She shook her head, wiped her cheeks clean of tears and sniffed, all to stifle her cries. It didn't work because when he stroked a hand over her head in a gesture of comfort she cried more.

"C'mon, Baby," he soothed.

"Two times," she explained.

His brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend her statement. Then he got it.

He whispered, "Two times, near death experiences?"

She gave a nod, "And inside a week." He gave her another stroke and another, knowing it released her of bottling in her emotions. "Overall, a big week," he said, and it caused her to splutter a laugh mixed in with her cries.

"Yeah." She reached out and snatched a tissue from the box on the vanity to clean the mess her giggle had made.

He smiled, pleased she still had her humour, noting she had two towels on the vanity so she expected him to join her. Night clothes were folded neatly beside the towels. Pink shorts and a pink top to match. As tough as she acted, he also saw the woman, the vulnerable person, the feminine part of her that loved warm colours, romantic stories and soppy girl movies. He gave her hair a further caress. "You're keeping us boys on our toes to keep you alive."

"On high alert." She bent at her knee and tilted her body to show Rick the right side of her torso. She pointed and looked tearfully up at his face. "I didn't mention that at the hospital."

His eyes widened the more he leaned to see what Beckett was pointing out. "Fuck, Kate." He stepped and reached out to touch the bruise, paused when she shied of his fingers and saw her shudder with pain. She whined.

"Please don't."

"Have you broken any of your ribs?" He took a closer inspection. There was a decent bruise to her side and her flesh was split in a straight line almost running parallel to her ribs that he easily saw. Since the apartment had been blown up she'd lost weight and although he refrained from saying anything, it worried him. He managed to get her to eat but she seemed to be burning energy with fretting. Her sweater hadn't been torn and until this moment she hadn't mentioned her ribs or favoured her side.

"I don't think anything is broken," she said wincing when he finally touched over the bruising with a featherlike stroke. "Just feeling it."

"Oh Kate, why didn't you tell the doctor?"

"To be honest, I never noticed it until I took off my sweater. That's when I felt the pain. Its below my bra strap so nothing bothered it." She paused, looking at his concerned eyes, "Adrenaline, maybe?"

"Possible you didn't feel it until things calmed down. Do you remember impacting with something?"

"Yes. Quite clearly." She raised her right eyebrow and stated. "It was the suspect's foot."

"With shoe attached, I assume?"

"Yes. When I rolled my ankle, I fell. He kicked me." She showed him the graze to the heel of her left hand. It had been patched up by the nurse at the hospital. "I kept hold of my gun." It was said with pride.

"But he saw you had fallen and he came after you."

"Yes. I think as I was getting up, he kicked me and that sent me flying into the wall. He winded me. I then couldn't get up. He pulled me up." She cried, "I'm so tired. And its hurts now."

"I know. And, I know." He straightened up, reached to her hands that he took hold of, "C'mon. Shower and let's go to bed." There was a new emotion bubbling up within him and he didn't like its presence as weak as it was. It was the instinct to protect her, to shelter and keep her safe. Most of the time, he could keep his male instincts suppressed, but seeing what she'd been through that past week or so, seeing her reduced to tears was tearing at him. It crossed his mind to suggest she quit the police force and return to studying law or something she enjoyed. That would be met with strong objection. At even greater risk, he could suggest they get married and start a family. That one would have her running for sure. So, he pushed the emotions down, shunned the ideas, gently lifted her hands and encouraged her to stand up.

"You have a look," she said. "Your expression, I mean. I've seen the same look on my Dad."

He took a moment then asked, "Thinking about locking you inside the apartment and wrapping you in cotton wool for a while, look?"

She showed a hint of amusement. "That could be it. That's very sweet, Castle."

"Not sweet. It's totally selfish. I want you around for me." He studied her face, swiped a tear from beneath her left eye, then leaned in and kissed her ever so softly. The tears returned, but she responded keenly to the kiss, sought more. He carefully drew her closer, kept her secure on her feet. Her arms snaked around his neck. Her body trembled. It caused him to pause, part and look over her face. "You okay?"

"Mm. More please."

"You're crying."

"I need to have a cry. I'll feel better." She pulled on his shoulders. "More."

He obliged. He refrained from becoming too aroused, too excited. He gave her enough to distract her, to lighten her mood. It worked. She sought his affection, pushed her body into his, their hips pressing. When they broke for air, she shyly looked downwards.

"Mm," he responded to her expression, "I can't help it."

She pointed a finger toward the shower. "I'd better…"

"Yes. You hungry?"

There was a nod, "I am."

He put his hands to the sides of her head. "Take a shower. I'll go whip something up because I'm starving." He let her go, ensure she was stable on her feet then stepped to the doorway.

"Thank you, Castle." She called after him.

He paused, turned to look at her and gave her a smile, while unashamedly looking at her breasts. "Always." He grabbed the bag of clothing to throw it in the trash. "Get beneath the hot water and wash."

When she was out of the shower and dressed, he assisted her to their bed. He passed her a plate that held a toasted cheese sandwich. She ate with a surprisingly ferocious appetite and only paused the moment when she saw a bottle of disinfectant and cotton buds in Castle's hands.

She swallowed. He pulled up a chair before her and placed a small bowl of water on the night stand.

"Castle? No."

"Have to, Honey." He sploshed some disinfectant into the water.

"I washed it in the shower."

"Kate." It was affirming he wasn't going to back down on this one.

"Shit." She put the plate on the bed and lifted up her top.

Once again, he inspected the boot sized bruise. The cut wasn't deep but would be enough to be a nuisance and stain her clothing. He lightly dabbed one end of the broken skin. Immediately she shied, drawing in a breath.

"Shit, shit. It hurts."

"Breathe."

There was a period Castle didn't believe he was going to be allowed to finish cleaning the abrasion. He persisted as gently and quickly as he could manage very aware the patient could snap at any second. It was stung Beckett but she remained still, although she lacked patience. The cleansing was tolerated until she suddenly objected with a sharp whimper.

"No. No more."

That was it. She dropped her top and shoved his hand away. That was enough. Castle sat back and sighed, his expression of frustration not missed by Beckett who released a couple of huffs of frustration.

"You're a terrible patient," he softly stated as he stood up.

With half of a toasted sandwich in her hand, she looked at his eyes, "I won't deny that." She took another chunk out of the meal.

"You really are hungry." He watched her chew, as she gave him a bob of her head, and thumbs up. "I'll go put this away and get ready for bed." The chair was returned to its place.

She swallowed. "Thank you, Castle. This is really good."

"You're so lucky you have me." He called back as he exited the bedroom.

When Castle woke the following morning, he was alone. His first thoughts surrounded the events of the previous night. The wait at the precinct with the Captain had been painful and had come with a good infusion of anxiety. Whenever the team went out to arrest a suspect, there was always a degree of danger. It had quickly spiraled out of control last night. Being with the Captain, Castle had seen firsthand how much the leader cared about his precinct, his people.

Showered and dressed he found Beckett sitting at the kitchen counter, with a glass of orange juice and a magazine. He held her shoulders and kissed her left cheek.

"Good morning, Honey."

"Morning, Babe." She smiled as he pinched some of her juice. "Hey," she lightly scorned.

He put the glass down. "How are you feeling?"

"Bit like a did a round with Mike Tyson."

He laughed. "Coffee?" He went into the kitchen to first up the coffee machine. It's when he noticed Alexis sitting alone at the table by the windows.

"Please. I've been waiting to you."

He pointed and gave Beckett a questioning look indicating the distance between the two ladies. Her eyes followed his gaze. He instantly saw her expression change and she shrugged a shoulder.

"Alexis? I didn't see you over there. Good morning, daughter."

"Good morning, Father."

"Are you joining us for breakfast?" He called, noticing she did have her nose deep in a text book.

"Studying, Dad."

He couldn't help but frown. It was Alexis' standard excuse but he didn't want Beckett to be aware of the small signs, to cause her to feel discomfort. He continued to make the coffee, found a couple of mugs, and placed them on the counter. Beckett returned to her magazine.

"You're dressed," he commented, noticing the white blouse.

"Of course." Kate replied, not looking up from her magazine. She liked to browse through women's style magazine. She shared them with Martha.

For a moment or two, he looked at Beckett reading the magazine, then turned his eyes to the back of Alexis in her book. It crossed his mind at that moment his two favourite women were peas in a pod but didn't see it yet. Smart, attractive and extremely strong minded ladies.

"I mean work clothes, Beckett."

"Going to work."

"Umm… You have a medical certificate, Kate. You have a sprained ankle and-"

"I can walk on it. I have paperwork to do."

"And you are not allowed until you're cleared." He went back to his coffee making, "But you will still go in."

"I will." Beckett turned the page of the magazine, and she looked up to Castle, their eyes connecting. As she blinked, her eye line shifted to Alexis then returned to the writer. She didn't say anything but Castle read her expression. He'd seen it a hundred or so times in the interrogation box. She wanted to get out of the space she was currently in.

He gave a nod then went to finish the coffee.

"Hey, Kate?" He reached out to her elbow to stop her from going forward. She immediately turned about with a questioning look. "Before we go in there…"

"What is it Castle?"

"I'm sorry about what happened with Alexis this morning."

"Don't apologize, Rick." She sighed, moistened her lips, "Look, maybe we should consider that she's adjusting to us, she's seeing changes in her home, with you, Martha has moved out, I've moved in."

They continued to walk into the elevator foyer, "You sound like you've been there, except I know you haven't."

"Well, I have," she said, twisting her fingers together. "Except I was older and should have known better."

"Regardless, she was out of line." They fell silent, staring at the lights over the door in wait for an elevator to arrive.

Beckett looked at Castle. "She needs time, Castle. That's all." They walked through the elevator door ahead of him, a good limp in her gait. They were alone.

"I agree," he replied, "But this morning, it was bloody clear we have a problem."

"Well, Babe." She turned to him and tidied his collar as she said, "I'm going to ignore it, be normal. Only this morning I didn't know what to do."

He watched her fuss over his clothing. "So, she came downstairs, you were where you were when I came out." Kate nodded her agreement, "And she-"

"I said good morning." Kate stepped away, "She grunted a response, went to the fridge then to the table. She's a teenage girl." Beckett placed her palm to her abdomen. She was lying and felt ill about it. There had been more said but she wasn't going to share it with Castle. They continued into the bullpen to her desk. She pushed the incident out of her mind.

The boys were already on duty and talking.

"See Castle, Espo is here." She dumped her bag to her desk and dragged out her chair. "Morning, guys."

They chirped back their responses.

"How you doing with everything last night, Espo?" Rick asked.

"Good. Waiting to get my piece back." Esposito smiled, "How you going, Beckett? The bastard knocked you off your feet."

"I'm fine. Just that niggle in my ankle," she replied. She slowly sat on her office chair, feeling it a lot on her side where she'd been kicked. For several seconds, she held a hand over the spot, nursing her way through the pain.

Castle saw her do it but decided not to make a comment. Her eyes turned to Castle and she gave him a bit of a smile.

"Hurts," she whispered.

"You're tough."

"So, how's it living under the same roof? Having fun?" Ryan inquired with keen anticipation as he sat on the edge of the desk opposite Kate's.

"No," Beckett replied.

"Yes," Castle replied simultaneously.

Their eyes met and they smiled, then Castle turned to face Ryan and added, "She loves being under the same roof as me."

"I'm grateful I have a roof over my head." Beckett said, unsure how hard to go. It was complicated and she didn't want to give away too much for fear of divulging their secret. A great part of her loved being in the same bed as Castle every night.

"It's been a pleasure having her stay with me. She cooks well, cleans like a maid, makes the best macarons I've ever eaten." He teased and received a dirty look from the subject.

"I don't clean. You have a housekeeper who comes in."

"You eat macarons?" Esposito queried in surprise joining Ryan.

In disbelief, Castle's eyes widened, "You didn't hear the part that Beckett can make them?"

"No. Got the part that you eat macarons."

Castle blew that off with a wave of his arm, "I mean, macarons are the nemesis of many a chef."

"Cook, Castle. I'm a home cook."

"Tomato, tomaaarto." He brought out his phone, opened it and pushed his arm out to show the boys the photo a plate of perfect sweets.

"Tell that to a chef." She retorted with a smile of amusement.

"Here comes the Cap." Esposito said, very keen to get on with the return of his weapon and permission to return to work.

"Why are you two here?" Montgomery asked as he approached Beckett's desk.

"Paper work." Beckett replied.

"Well, you can get off the paper work. I've just come from 1PP and both of you are permitted to be on duty. There will be a debriefing this afternoon."

"Alright." Esposito grinned.

Beckett raised her arms, she hadn't even started working on administrative tasks and was able to resume police work. However, before she could even push out her chair, Castle pointed at her and said.

"Your ankle. You're chained to the desk today, Missy."

"He's right," Montgomery added. "You're off your feet until you're 100%"