Chapter 91

A few days later….

The game of laser tag they played was ruthless and fast. Father, daughter and girlfriend engaged in a brutal round. The competitiveness between Castle and Beckett was hard core. Castle wanted nothing more than to whip Beckett's ass in the game and he was doing very well.

The score was close. Beckett was only a point ahead of Castle, and a few ahead of Alexis and she was determined to stay ahead. Her senses were heightened in the same way they would be if she was engaged in real gunfire. Maintaining a slow calm heart rate, she listened for any sign of her opponents. Martha's breathing was audible from where she was seated on the armchair near the office entrance. The wine her future mother in law sipped smelled sweet, was red. From Kate's left she heard a foot touch the floor boards. She turned her weapon in that direction expecting to see Castle. Instead there was a flash of red hair.

There was a second she went to step out, but she stilled, gut instincts telling her to halt. Hearing something, she spun to her right and shot at Castle who had his gun pointed but not at her. His vest wailed out and flashed with blue lights. He lowered his weapon in disbelief.

Kate squealed in delight, and jumped up and down with joy. "I got you!"

"What the hell? I was in stealth mode! How did you hear me?" Rick squawked.

Martha laughed. "She's quick. Sharp."

"Professionally trained." Castle declared, watching his girlfriend bounce about and laugh enthusiastically. "I can't beat professionally trained."

"I swear you've been professionally trained too." Beckett replied. "You're so good at this. Espo would love playing against you."

"She beat you?" Alexis asked coming out of hiding.

Like a detective, Beckett sensed the sudden change of air in the room. Using her peripheral vision, she saw the red headed teenager direct a look at her that would freeze a lake in July. It stopped Kate in her tracks. She sobered. Her eyes momentarily connected with Alexis' then she looked away. She wasn't dreaming.

Oxygen left her lungs and she forgot to inhale. Her throat constricted, felt tight.

Spooked eyes fell upon Castle's face.

He was confused.

She had to get away. She flung the toy gun at the arm chair as she commenced to flee the living room. Without thought she retreated to the guest room. As she ran, fingers tugged at the vest. She was suffocating. The vest strangled her. The living room was too small. The vest was dropped on the floor.

"Katherine," Martha called.

Beckett rushed to the closed door.

"Kate?" Castle called, "Where are you going?"

Beckett closed the door and ran through the guest bedroom to the en-suite, slamming that door behind her. She struggled to breathe. With the vest off she fell against the door, and cried.

He would ask penetrating questions to find out what was going on. That terrified her right now.

Rick tossed his gun to the couch when he saw Kate disappear through the bedroom door. Grounded to the floor, he issued a look of uncertainty to his family. Alexis carried a look of worry blended with fear. His mother rose from the arm chair and put down her glass of wine.

"What the hell just happened?" His throat bobbed up and down with worry. His mouth had gone dry. He didn't like the look on his daughter's face. He didn't like hearing the sounds Kate made, coming through the walls.

"We'll sort it out," Martha replied.

The teenager shrugged, glanced from father to grandmother.

Then the anger rose. He pointed at his daughter, "We will talk later."

Martha pointed after Kate, and firmly ordered, "Go after her, Richard. We'll all talk later."

"I am." As he walked he glanced back to his daughter, a sense overwhelming him that he missed yet another exchange that had taken place between his favourite people. It wouldn't be the first time. He'd been aware of a couple of moments when Alexis had acted out in Kate's presence but it being in defiance of his parenting.

He entered the guest bedroom without knocking and closed the door behind him. He didn't want the red heads joining him. He barely heard his mother say something. With the lights turned on he saw the bathroom door was closed and Kate wasn't in the bedroom. With purpose, he crossed the room and stopped outside the door that Kate's cries came from. She struggled to breathe, and he heard her strike out at something solid.

He breathed fast. His heart raced with fear. His mind thought at about 100 miles per hour. His thoughts were filled with the idea that she was gonna run. She'd been showing signs of mounting distress for days, and he'd made the decision to ignore it, to wait for her to want to talk to him.

He lightly tapped the door several times. "Kate?"

The cries ceased.

He waited a bit. "Kate?" He tried to sound calm but it came from him strained and worried. He waited again. It seemed like he did so for an eternity. His hands were clammy. Swiped them against his track pants. She was usually strong. She didn't act out on him, wasn't the type who got upset. It was something Erin would have done but not Kate. This was unfamiliar territory he was crossing into.

"Honey? I'm coming in." He nervously inhaled. The anticipation Kate would yell at him to go away was almost enough to make him continue to wait for a response. However, he took hold of and turned the door handle.

Carefully he opened the door. She didn't yell.

She was crumpled on the tiled floor of the bathroom she had never used, off a bedroom she hadn't slept a night in. To the world, she was his guest residing in these two rooms while she found a new place to live. To him, she was finally living where she belonged. He had her in his bedroom but much to his dismay, her stuff remained stored in the spare room. She said it was mainly so their friends believed she was temporarily living under his roof in the quest bedroom.

He understood she was unsettled and wanted her own private space.

He stood inside the modest bathroom unaware what to do, how to approach this situation. Although the crying had quietened, her body trembled and she has having a damn hard time taking in oxygen. She was pale and his own reflection in the mirror in front of him, showed a stressed man. His mouth was parched.

She didn't seem worried he was there but she also didn't appear to realise he was present; but her eyes stared at his bare feet. He too looked down at them, wondering what had her attention. Was it the shortness of his toes compared to hers or with width of his feet compared to her long bony pair. He wriggled all his toes, then bent over until he was close enough to her face.

He quietly asked, "What's going on, Honey?"

She shuddered. Looked up at his eyes. Blinked.

He touched her cheek, remained calm and soft, "Breathe deep, Kate. You're having a panic attack."

She inhaled. She cried but she was so quiet.

He dropped to the floor beside her, and positioned himself so he faced her. There was a shuddery breath and her hand blindly reached to his shoulder. He too reached around her body, roughly dragged her to him so she didn't have a chance to object and he wrapped his arms firmly about her. "Inhale Kate." He waited for her to respond. "Breathe in, Kate," he whispered close her ear. Then he heard her take in a deep shuddery breath. He counted to four aloud. "Exhale."

She breathed out.

"That's a girl." Once again, he counted to four. "Inhale." She drew in air. Fingers moved towards his throat until she encircled her arms about him. She breathed with him.

"You're okay." He whispered, his arm reaching around her body.

He pulled her body right in close to his and held her for the time it took for her to calm.

Gently he pressed his lips to the top of her hand he'd held for a while. The tiled floor was hard and cold. It was increasingly uncomfortable. "What do you like about Paris the most?" He quietly asked then waited.

Kate gripped his shirt. "Umm, the food."

He smiled, not expecting that response, but he'd got something.

"Food."

"Yeah." She sniffed, then pushed herself off him and sat up. They were silent for almost a minute looking at each other before she murmured. She gave his chest a soft stroke. "I'm so sorry, Babe."

"Not necessary. Are you okay?"

She shook her head, swept her hair back flat with both hands over her head. "Arrr, no."

"Talk to me."

"I miss my home. I wanna go home." Kate crouched, pushed herself up to her feet.

"I know." Rick followed her up until they stood facing each other. "I know you want to go home." He was calm when he reached out and gently stroked the left side of her face. "You've dealt with a lot. The case, the bomb, the incident the other night."

"The other night, that was nothing." She waved it off dismissively.

"You got hurt, Kate." He reached out to the vanity and grabbed a couple of tissues he gave her. She instantly wiped her eyes then blew her nose.

"I need a bit of time," she whispered as he drew her closer.

He nodded, but hooked her finger into his. He opened the bathroom door. When he stepped out she resisted, her eyes on the bedroom door. "Come with me. Let's go to bed."

She cast her eyes to his. He saw the tears welling up again and she shook her head.

Castle's heart rate shot up. The panic soared. There was nothing he could think of doing to help her. She pressed her palms to her eyes. Through gasps of air he heard her apologise again. He felt purely helpless.

The second she stepped to him, her forehead to his chest, he wrapped himself around her, without hesitation.

"Alright," he softly said as he placed a mug of hot chocolate on the table before Kate. He slipped onto the chair opposite her and remained quiet, because he knew that's what she needed now. She was externally calm, completely rational. He knew internally she was losing her shit. Reality had hit hard.

His Mother had done a fantastic job of diffusing a situation that could have gone drastically south. After he'd got Kate out of the bedroom, Martha had stepped in and taken care of Kate.

She had been the voice of understanding, the person who knew what it was like to lose a home, and somehow that had brought Kate from the depths of hell. A minor event had triggered a strong reaction, but from it had come welcome information. The core of Kate's turmoil was the shock of losing her home completely and suddenly.

Before him, long slender fingers looped through the handle of the mug and lifted it to swollen lips. A sip was taken, then a bigger and the mug was then lowered back to the table. Her tongue politely swiped the milky froth from her upper lip. For a moment, he dwelled on how gorgeous she was, that she had no idea of her own beauty. A typical woman, she took great care of herself but it was the way she pressed her lips together, or pushed away strands of hair. Her eyes remained teary, glistened and her eyelashes were dark and wet.

A sound of satisfaction, barely audible came from her.

"Thank you, Rick," she whispered. "For being there."

"You're welcome." It was whispered as quietly as her words. "Feel better?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry about all that." Beneath her left eye was a tear she wiped with the back of her left fist.

"Shhh." He briefly waggled a finger at the mug of hot chocolate. It was late. His daughter had gone to bed long ago and Martha had retired a quarter hour earlier confident that her son had this. He wasn't sure about that. Kate's upheaval earlier had caused him anxiety that still currently hung about that he also concealed. Right now, he needed to be her support.

Obediently, she continued to drink the beverage her eyes on the mug.

"Kate?"

Her eyes raised to his, her expression curious. "Mm?"

"No matter what, Kate, we're gonna be okay."

He watched her reach with her right arm across the table and instantly took her hand in his. Her fingers were cold. She squeezed his fingers, "Hey."

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry I cried. Sorry I did that and ran off in front of Martha and Alexis. I didn't understand what happened. Why I reacted how I did. I just did."

"Kate," he softly warned. "No need to apologise. You've been through a heck of a lot lately."

"Lost my stuff."

"Yes. But it can be replaced."

"But our chair?"

"Umm." He stroked his thumb over the skin between her thumb and index finger. Such a soft, smooth place. Her eyes glanced to his touch as he said, "I thought you would have seen it. It's in the guest room behind the boxes." He saw the slightest hint of a smile, and thought it was due to their connection. "I guess you wouldn't see it because of the boxes."

"Maybe I forgot. And it wasn't damaged any?"

"Nope."

"Well, maybe some time, we should move it to your bedroom?" She gave an expectant look, her mood up a little more.

"I will move it to our bedroom very soon. What's on your agenda, Ms Beckett?" He dared to ask hoping her mood would continue improving. The emotional storm had blown over and he was left with a drained girlfriend.

She glanced in the general direction of the stairs to ensure they were alone then returned her attention to Rick.

"I would really like to lay with you, skin to skin."

His eyes widened. "You mean naked?"

She smiled at his humour then shyly replied, "Yes, I mean naked."

"And she smiles." He broke their link, pointed at the mug, "Finish your hot chocolate, Miss Naked. Move it."