Chapter 93

They found a place a block or so up from the gym. The bar, come eatery, had a good gathering of patrons and best of all served various brands of beers. It seemed the beer was more important to their appetites. As it happened, a booth became vacant as they were making their way to a spare table in the middle of the room so they made a beeline to the booth both preferring to be in a quieter position. A waiter was quick to clear the table. They sat opposite each other and ordered beers as the waiter went off with the used dishes. They browsed the menu and opted to order the burgers when the waiter returned with the beverages.

Beckett absorbed their surroundings and quietly sipped on the frothy beer. At nearby tables, there was a group of guys who had dropped in for beers and snacks after work and a smaller group of girls celebrating a birthday. Seeing the chips half eaten, she realized for the first time today, she felt hungry and looked forward to a meal. A young couple at another table were talking and giggling about some secret between them. She saw that Castle had also noticed them. He smirked and reached over the table for her left hand. She slipped her hand closer to meet his and watched their fingers intertwine. A smile crept into her expression. She cherished the flutter within her belly when they connected. He always managed to make her calm and aroused at the same time.

There was laughter from the table beside them. It momentarily caught their attention then Rick leaned in.

"They've recognized me."

Beckett's right eyebrow rose and her eyes widened, "As you or Jason Bateman?"

"Haha." He sat back, his smile easy.

"Well, I hope they keep their distance," she stated but her tone was teasing him.

She saw him glance about the room. He gave her hand a light squeeze. "So, do I. So, do I." He leaned in again but gently retracted his hand, "Honey?"

"Mmm?" The eyebrows rose in question.

"Don't panic because he hasn't seen us, but Ryan and Jenny have just walked in here." He repeatedly glanced towards the entrance.

Beckett sat up, kept her eyes on the writer, "Where?"

"My nine o'clock."

She looked in the direction of her three o'clock and sure enough making their way to a table was the Detective and his girlfriend, in their work attire. They were headed deeper into the bar.

"What's the chance of this?" She asked in surprise.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later. Remember when we saw Espo the day we met your Dad?"

"Yes." She laughed. "I dived into the car."

"Can't dive now." He replied.

"What do we do?" She asked and slid further towards the wall as Castle did.

"Well, we continue as we are and if they do see us, we dropped by for a burger and a beer on the way home. We can do that." He said confidently, "But fuck it, Kate, I really don't want them to see us."

"Yeah, same. This is perfect with us," she replied, her hand sneaking back to meet his when she saw that Ryan and Jenny had found a table way out of sight of them, "Like I would love to have a double date but not tonight."

"Two is enough at this table tonight." Castle confirmed. They sat back as the burgers arrived. There was a brief inspection of their meals.

Kate picked up her burger first. "Bon a petite, Baby."

Two beers later, with their burgers gone, they shared a bowl of chips happy to remain at their booth a while longer. The young couple seated at the adjacent table had left and a group of couples had taken their place.

"You're hungry?" Castle asked.

"Yes." She paused from taking another chip, but then continued eating.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Castle." She popped in another chip. They were hot and very salty.

"That stuff that went down the other night with the perk you went out to arrest."

"The one Esposito shot?" She inquired not looking up. She remembered too well, but she didn't want him to think so. There hadn't been a space in the vehicles for Castle to join them and she was very glad about that.

"Yeah, that one."

"What about it?"

"None of you talk about any of it. He could have killed you."

"Esposito terminated him. We told internal affairs and the coroner what happened. There's nothing to talk about," she said, and then continued with the chips hoping like hell her blasé attitude would cause him to lose interest.

"You're not affected by it? Like, it's all bottled up."

She shrugged. She studied Castle with the intention of reading him, as she would a suspect under interrogation, in this instance to find out whether he was genuinely interested in how she coped or was doing research for his writing. She opted to believe he was interested and that she should share.

"I was scared at the time, but I had to remain in the moment, calm and focused," she explained, "It's part of my job to get through a situation. It's why we have more annual leave than other careers, more sick leave." She stopped when she realized what Castle might be inferring. "You think my meltdown was about that?"

"I think it played a part in last night. Your apartment, the incident last week, Alexis not being too welcoming. It adds up."

She blinked, inside accepting his statement without much of a fight.

Castle breathed, quietly gazed over her face. "You also have dreamed a lot."

There was a nod. "I've woken in cold sweats. Nowadays, I wake up and you're there and I sneak in closer to you and fall back to sleep." She smiled, thinking about the times she'd wrapped herself around his arm or over his body. He was always warm, soft, he smelt beautiful, and he made her feel very safe and secure in the wee hours of the night.

He smiled warmly, "I know. Your hair." He wiped over his face.

She laughed. "You dream about fire." Kate acknowledged.

"I dream I lose you to the explosion and the fire, yes."

"Well," she uncrossed her legs and leaned forward, "Don't," she ordered, "You won't lose me." She replied. "And as cops we don't dwell on what happened."

"You were jumpy after."

"I went into shock, yes." She could feel the frustration on the rise, decided to shift the conversation. "My Dad called me today."

"Oh." Castle responded.

Kate noticed that Castle fiddled with the fork then met her eyes as she said, "He wants me to meet him tomorrow night at his office."

"Okay." He seemed worried and his voice carried a higher tone than usual. The fork was put down.

She was on to something, recognizing his discomfort. "You didn't call him, because of the other night?" She inquired gently. "Please tell me you didn't."

Castle shook his head in the negative. "No, no."

Beckett's brow furrowed, "Does two no's mean yes?"

He frowned and she smiled. "I've mentioned it, because I thought you had dobbed me in."

His frown deepened, "What happened at home is with us. I didn't' say anything." He suddenly smiled, "Dobbed? How old are you?"

She laughed easily, "Well, Castle, when we had that fight you called my Dad."

"I was worried about you."

"Mm." She glanced over to see Ryan making his way to them with Jenny behind him. He carried a tray of drinks. "Ryan is coming."

"Well good." He sat up and looked over his left shoulder. He smiled and waved their friends over.

Ryan placed the tray on a space made on the table. "Good evening. This is the last place I expected to bump into you two."

"Same," Beckett responded.

"Beckett went rock climbing just down the block. I met her for burgers." Rick waggled a finger in Kate's direction, as he stood to greet Ryan and Jenny. The men shook hands, then Castle greeted Jenny with a press to her cheek. Beckett came to Castle's side of the table.

Castle shuffled across the bench seat, surprised Beckett had decided to change sides to make room for their friends. He then realized why when he noticed how close Jenny sat beside Ryan. The two were certainly cozy. There was an urge to pull Beckett in closer too but he didn't believe that would go well.

"What brings you two here?" Castle inquired.

"We come here for the burgers regularly," Ryan replied.

"They're fantastic, and its casual here." Castle agreed. "Maybe we should all get together and come here one night."

"Sure," Kate nodded, and let her hand rest on Castle's left thigh. She hadn't seen Jenny in a while. Her hair was quite long and set into loose curls, which caused Beckett to want her hair long again.

Jenny glanced between the two of them, "I didn't think you two were dating."

They both sat up, and Kate put up a hand. "We're not."

"No, not dating." Castle said and lightly pushed Kate's hand off his thigh. Kate glanced to him then back to Jenny.

"We sometimes go out to eat, to discuss a case, and I sometimes read his drafts to make sure he gets it right."'

"How cute is that." Jenny replied. "You are so lucky to read his unpublished works." She took Ryan's hand, "Kevin would love to have that opportunity."

Beckett watched Kevin's cheeks blush and he waved off the comment.

"I'm happy to read the published work." Ryan said.

"Well, it's hard enough having Beckett critique my work." Castle said as he held up a beer, "Cheers to catching up with friends."

Everyone raised their glass then drank. Beckett returned her hand to Castle's thigh, comfortable with it there. Cold fingers appreciated his warmth.

"We should have a girls' night with Lanie." Jenny suggested.

"We should," Beckett agreed watching her detective partner and his girlfriend. She was captivated by Jenny and Ryan's fondness for each other. It caused her to ponder about how she and Castle behaved in public, how people perceived them. Yes, sometimes, especially when they were out of the city she got real cute with him and she didn't care what other's thought. She enjoyed being physically affectionate. In the city they kept it to times they were alone, but hell she wished she could be like Ryan and Jenny were. Jenny was smitten with Ryan but it was equally reciprocated. She couldn't show the world how she felt about the writer.

When they left the bar, Beckett and Castle followed Kevin and Jenny to the entry. Ryan was always touching Jenny, always connected. Meanwhile, Beckett felt Castle's hand quietly find hers and hooked her fingers into his. It was only when they stepped out onto the side walk, their hands disconnected. Beckett pulled on her leather jacket.

With a quick farewell, Jenny and Kevin walked off toward the subway. Castle and Beckett waited for a cab.

"Do you think we pulled it off?" Castle asked seriously.

"Um." Beckett punched her right hand into her left a couple with enough force that it caused Castle to give her a look. She gave him a look right back.

"What?" She asked.

"Taking it out."

"No, well yes." She waved at an approaching cab, which began to swerve towards the curb.

"What is it?"

"Well, tonight was a taste of what could be if we went public."

Castle looked at her, eyes widened, "Honey, are you trying to tell me you want to go public?"

"Um. No. But I had a good time with you tonight."

"With Ryan and Jenny?"

"Yes, I enjoyed it."

"It was fun," he agreed as the cab pulled up. They had all consumed a round of drinks before they had called it quits for the night. He opened the door for Kate to enter the car. "Kate, I'm happy to go public. I'm ready for the whole package whenever you are." It was said with a good dose of caution but he also noticed Kate processed his statement. Last night had been a major set back but maybe, just maybe, it would be what she needed to settle right down. They had after all finished the lousy night with intimacy. He followed her into the back seat of the cab.

She gave the driver the corner address of Castle's apartment.

"Castle?"

"Mmm?"

She wriggled to him to rest her head upon his shoulder. He lifted his arm around her shoulders.

"Thank you for all you've done."

"Always." He pressed his lips to the side of her head then said, "When we're home I'm going to talk to Alexis."

"Okay."

Exhausted, Castle fell into bed beside Beckett who had spent a half hour or so alone while he had gone upstairs to see Alexis. She moved, disturbed by the bounce on the matress. He placed a hand on her hip. "Hon?"

"Mm?" Her eyes remained closed. Castle rolled to his side to face her, puffed up his pillow then laid right down. He stared at her face. In his absence, she'd tidied her eye brows, bathed, and cleansed her face with some mask treatment. Her skin was shiny. A scent of lemon grass soap and fresh deodorant was present.

He softly stroked his hand to the side of her head, pushing back her washed hair. "Are you awake?"

Eyes opened to his. She blinked, focused on his blue eyes.

"Yes, you are." He saw the right side of her mouth form a frown.

"You didn't exactly slip into bed, Castle. It's disturbing how you flop into bed." She moved until she was sitting up against the bed head and pillows.

He smiled with guilt, and rubbed her thigh. "Mm. You love it."

"Not." She objected with a little laugh. "How did you go?"

"Well, Alexis said she would like to make amends." He joined her and leaned against the bed head. "She doesn't want you to leave because of her. Man, you smell nice." He said looking over her face.

"Thank you." She stroked his forearm. "I wouldn't leave because of us, Castle. Is she alright? Like, she's a child."

"She's fine. But like you, she won't let me in on what's been going on behind my back."

Kate closed her eyes, bit her bottom lip. He waited. She didn't move a muscle. "Ka-ate."

She smiled at his cuteness. "Ca-stle?"

"Tell me."

"You're wasting your time, Rick. I'm not going to make this worse than I already have."

He once again stared at her closed eyes for several seconds. "Alright, then I've done my part. You ladies will have to sort it out."

"We will. I promise."

"Kate? Look at me please." He calmly requested.

Her eyes opened again and she connected with his eyes. "Mm?"

"You are the adult in this. She was raised to respect."

She sighed, "I know. I'm used to dealing with criminals, not teenage girls."

"But you were once one."

"A criminal?" She smiled.

"No," he playfully responded, "A teenage girl."

"I was a lot more rebellious than your daughter. And my parents were married, so I had team boot camp raising me, which included my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. I still have them, except my Mom. I don't know what it's like to have a dating parent. Like Alexis has with you."

"Your Dad dates."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not a child."

"You didn't get away with much as a child anyway. You went to private school, you had dancing lessons, music lessons, sports. You didn't have much spare time to be too rebellious. On the other hand, I had one mother and many sloshed sitters."

She smiled and bit her lip, "Sloshed?"

"They liked their poison and daytime TV. I had a lot of unsupervised time to be naughty."

"Explains a lot," she mischievously murmured, "I did get to cut loose during summer vacations with my cousins at their farm."

"Farm, huh? Well, my most memorable summer was in the city when I lost my virginity to one of my mother's work friends."

Beckett's eyes opened wide, so did her mouth.

Castle chuckled. "And I can't believe I just told you that."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. She was a beautiful actress and a dancer and divine and in her thirties. I was young and foolish and addicted. One day, she happened to visit our apartment unannounced when my mother wasn't home. It just happened." He held up a finger, "By the way, my Mother doesn't know this. They're no longer friends anyway, but I've never told her."

"How long?"

His eyes opened wider, "You're asking…?"

She frowned, "No. How long did the relationship go on?"

"Oh. Until I met a girl at college. A while, the summer."

She laughed, "So you were a toy boy."

"Yeah." He smiled, "You're the only person I've ever told."

"Sure," she replied and gave him an odd expression.

"What?" He asked, confused about her questioning look.

"Are you having me on? Cougar, love affair? You? Not telling anyone? Didn't tell your buddies? C'mon." She scoffed.

"Cougar, yes. Hot sex yes." He pulled the blankets up to his hips, "Oh, I see. You think I made it up?"

"No. You've done so many things. You make my life seem so boring, Castle."

He scoffed, "Honey, your life is hardly boring, especially now that I'm in it."

She lightly hit his shoulder and objected with a noise. He didn't react and she fell quiet staring at him. "You keep it interesting," she finally said.

Castle shifted down the bed so he could lay right down on his back. "We keep it interesting," he replied. "And that's the way I like it." She followed him and he gave her a kiss. "Until tomorrow, Hon."

"Night." She snuggled in against his shoulder and found his hand she took a hold of.

He flicked off the lamp then laid still, relaxed.

"Kate?" He said into the darkness.

"Castle?"

"There's something I want you to remember."

"Mm?"

"You will always have my encouragement and support to take authority and your place in this house beside me."

She kept silent but pressed her lips to his bare shoulder.

He took a deep breath, ready for sleep to take over.