NOTE: Next chapter will be on Christmas day, because it's Goku.
Chapter 29: Namekimania 2011
(cuts to Namek where Vegeta had just executed Guldo from the previous episode)
GOHAN: You really saved us, Vegeta.
"I doubt it was intentional," Gajeel said.
"He really hated Guldo," Laxus said.
KRILLIN: Yeah... You totally pulled our butts out of the fire there. Really showed that Team Three Star spirit...!
"That name is dumb, stop," Carla frowned.
VEGETA: They'll never find your body...
GOHAN: I feel a little sorry for those guys. They just lost their teammate. They must be devastated.
"I also doubt that," Gajeel added.
JEICE: So... when was the last time you had to.. you know?
RECOOME: Three weeks.
JEICE: Bloody hell! Three weeks?
BURTER: I did it on the trip here.
RECOOME: Recoome didn't even have enough room in his pod.
"I don't even want to know what they're talking about," Lucy gagged.
JEICE: (notices Guldo's corpse) Oy...! Oy, is that Guldo over there? Is he dead?
RECOOME: How tragic…
"Aw, they are sad," Lisanna frowned.
"Wait for it," Mira told her.
(short pause)
BURTER: (extremely quickly) Not telling the captain! 1-2-3, not it!
RECOOME: Not it!
JEICE: Not it... Aww, wankers…
Lisanna frowned at their lack of empathy. Mira patted her little sister's back.
["SANJOU! GINYU TOKUSENTAI!" OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cuts to Vegeta staring at Recoome, who is the next in line to fight Vegeta)
VEGETA: So, are we gonna do this or wha-
RECOOME: HIT... RECOOOOOME'S MUSIC!
("Hangarmageddon" by Evil Horde starts playing)
Natsu grumbled something about bad guys and music.
RECOOME: Vegeta, you think that just because you're the Prince of all Saiyans you're the best there is at what you do... But let Recoome tell you something, brother: you ain't no Wolverine! And you ain't got what it takes to step up to a five... time... champion!
"Is he treating this like a wrestling match?" Erza asked.
"SO MANLY!" Elfman ripped off his shirt.
"I no longer mind him having his own theme music!" Natsu's mood recovered.
VEGETA: Champion of what?
JEICE: This fight right here is gonna be a bloomin' slobberknocker it is.
BURTER: You can just feel the intensity!
"Yeah, they're treating this like a wrestling match," The girls thought collectively.
The boys looked on in interest and the girls stared passively at the screen.
VEGETA: Who are you talking to?
BURTER: The audience.
"Isn't it just Frieza?" Freed asked.
JEICE: We're doing commentary, mate.
RECOOME: You see, Vegeta, you sit here and brag about how the Saiyans are the mightiest warriors in all the universe; how they're the most ruthless. Well, look at where they are now: DEAD!
"Weird flex, but ok," Romeo looked confused.
RECOOME: You talk about your legends, and your warrior race, and your pride, but that doesn't mean a damn thing to this man! Because the name's Recoome, and it rhymes with doom, and you're gonna be hurting... all... too... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
(does a fighting pose, accompanied by the audience cheering, which dies down as the camera cuts to Krillin and Gohan, shown to be terrified, and Vegeta, who continues to glare at Recoome)
"THAT WAS AWESOME!" The fighting addicts shouted.
"It was alright," The girls thought.
VEGETA: (narrowing his eyes) Wrestling's fake. (the audience starts booing, with a slight embrance of "you su-diddly-uck" being heard)
"He had to ruin the fun," Natsu pouted.
"Well, they are fighting for their lives," Lucy reminded him.
"But, he ruined the fun," Natsu pouted at her. Lucy just sighed at him.
VEGETA: Oh, go to Hell, all of you! And if it means getting this damn thing over with, then I'm just going to have to kill your ass! Now hit... MY music! ("Step Into The Grand Tour" from DragonBall GT starts playing)
"Not as good as the other songs," Gajeel criticized.
"I think it's nice," Gray mumbled.
"I agree with Gray!" Juvia leaned on him.
VEGETA: Oh, the f**k with this! (powers up and charges at Recoome, punching him into a mountain, removing his scouter in the process, and then charges up two energy blasts on each hand) SUCK IT, JABRONI!
(Vegeta puts both energy blasts in front of himself and fires it at Recoome, causing a huge explosion. Krillin and Gohan are seen ducking their heads due to the magnitude of the attack. The smoke eventually clears out.)
"That was one big explosion," Evergreen gaped at Vegeta's power.
"The damage an attack like that could do to a city," Makarov stared wide eyed.
"That had to have done some damage," Erza spoke.
VEGETA: Well... everything went better than expected-
RECOOME: (does a pose while slightly scathed, having lost his armor) You talking more smack, Vegeta?
"HOW!?" Everyone shouted.
VEGETA: What?! How could you possibly get up after a hit like that?!
RECOOME: Silly Vegeta, The only thing Recoome sells... is merchandise!
(a bunch of Recoome-themed merchandise pops up on the screen, including a pixelated Recoome-vibrator, which starts vibrating)
"Disgusting," Everyone's faces twisted in disgust.
JEICE: Oy, Burter, bet you Recoome don't even leave a body.
BURTER: Please... you already owe me a space soda from our last bet.
"Really makes you wonder how long they've been doing this," Freed shakes his head.
"Killing, selling planets, and treating it like a game," Erza glared.
"Not the best type of role models," Lisanna said.
JEICE: Well, you still owe me a space burger from the one before that.
(cuts to a Spacey's food commercial)
COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER: And where can you find all this spectacular space food? At Spacey's. Now with our new Raditz Menu. Spacey's. It's good food, in space.
"I feel like anything in space uses 'In Space' as an advertisement," Gray pointed out.
"Magic guilds, but in space!" Happy laughed.
(cuts to Captain Ginyu delivering all seven Dragon Balls to Frieza)
CAPTAIN GINYU: And one more makes seven!
FRIEZA: Ahh, Ginyu, I should have called you from the beginning.
"Logically speaking, yeah you should've," Levy said.
"But, then it wouldn't be interesting," Lucy says.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Thank you, sir. Now, in celebration, I shall commence the Dance of Joy!
FRIEZA: Oh, no, no, that won't be necessary.
CAPTAIN GINYU: It is entirely necessary!
"Totally necessary," Natsu agreed.
"Completely necessary," Gajeel also agreed/
"Dew it," Happy said, sinisterly.
"Yes joy!" Wendy wanted to join, but Carla stopped her.
FRIEZA: (desperately trying to avoid watching Ginyu's dance) Ah, no, really... you don't have to-
CAPTAIN GINYU: Actually, I do. I am contractually obligated under your father to dance the Dance of Joy post every successful mission.
"Must be one loving father," Erza smiled.
FRIEZA: Ugh... Proceed... (Captain Ginyu starts dancing)
(cuts back "NAMEKIMANIA 2011" showing two monitors on the screen, the upper left one showing a recap of Reccome preparing an attack while the bottom right one showing Vegeta attacking Recoome, the latter blocking out all the former's punches and kicks)
"It's a one-sided beat down," Gray winced.
"Vegeta's holding his own, but…" Erza leaves it hanging.
"Reccome is an immovable force," Laxus finished.
JEICE: And we're back, mates!
BURTER: While you were gone, Recoome caught Vegeta off-guard with his patented Recoome Knee.
(Recoome is shown kneeing Vegeta in the face on the upper left monitor. The monitor at the bottom right expands onto the screen.)
Everyone in the guild winced at the blow.
JEICE: It was absolutely devastating, Burter! And now he's back on the offensive. But, he can't seem to land a single hit!
RECOOME: Recoome... ELBOW! (elbows Vegeta into a lake below)
"That really has to hurt," Lisanna winced
"Don't want to be on the receiving end of that," Elfman rubbed his own neck..
JEICE: Ohh, and Recoome follows up with a vicious Recoome Elbow!
BURTER: It looks like Recoome is just too fast for Vegeta, and that's coming from the fastest guy in the universe!
JEICE: ...Not really relevant, Burter.
"Do you think he mentions that constantly, because he has nothing else?" Levy asked.
"Yeah, probably," Gajeel answered her.
(cuts to Captain Ginyu continuing the Dance of Joy)
CAPTAIN GINYU: (finishes his dance) And that ends the Dance of Joy.
"I wanted to see it," Wendy leans down.
FRIEZA: (relieved) Uggh... thank God. Now, let's wish me some immortality.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Not quite yet, Lord Frieza. Lastly, I must complete the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance.
"The what?" Lucy blanched.
The guild was laughing at the name of the dance.
FRIEZA: My father would command no such thing!
CAPTAIN GINYU: You are correct, Lord Frieza.
FRIEZA: Very well...
CAPTAIN GINYU: It was your brother.
FRIEZA: (lets out a frustrated yell)
"Sounds like something an asshole brother would do," Gray said, thinking about his brother(As a student of the same teacher) Lyon.
(cuts back to "NAMEKIMANIA 2011", once again showing two monitors on the screen)
JEICE: And we're back with the fight!
BURTER: Here's what you missed!
(the monitor at the bottom right expands at the screen and Vegeta is still in the water)
"Oh, so nothing changed," Levy was mildly surprised.
JEICE: Boy, did we time that commercial right or what?
(Vegeta burst out of the water and double punches Recoome in the stomach)
BURTER: Ohhh, sneak attack from Vegeta!
JEICE: But it looks like it didn't do jack s**t!
"The words you never really wanna hear," Wakaba said.
(Recoome smirks before grabbing Vegeta and lifts him over his head)
"No…." Lily's eyes widened.
"He wouldn't.." Even Natsu gasped at Recoome's next attack.
BURTER: Wait! He's setting up the...
(Recoome and Vegeta plummet towards the ground)
VEGETA: AAAAAAAAHH!
JEICE: PILE DRIVER! PILE DRIVER!
Some of them looked away from the screen to avoid seeing the brutal hit. Others could only wince right before impact.
(Recoome slams Vegeta onto the ground. Vegeta is seen implanted on the ground, face first. Recoome chuckles and plucks Vegeta from the ground)
"Holy shit," Bickslow gaped at Vegeta's condition.
"Might be worse than Zarbon's beatdown," Lily shook his head.
KRILLIN: Hey! Hey Gohan, look! He picked Vegeta... like a-
GOHAN: Like a vegetable, yes.
"His name is vegetable," Freed said.
KRILLIN: Ha!
RECOOME: You see, Vegeta. You don't seem to comprehend where you stand right here. Because the name's Recoo-
VEGETA: RHAA! (blasts Recoome right in the face, knocking him down and freeing himself)
"Sneak attack!" Happy shouted.
"The best attack!" Lucy shouted with the cat.
BURTER: Oh, look at that!
JEICE: He might have just taken Recoome's bleedin' head off! This would be a huge loss for sport entertainment!
RECOOME: (quickly jumps back on his feet) As Recoome was sayin'... the name's Recoome... it rhymes with doom... and you're gonna be hurtin' all... too... SOOOON! (does another battle pose)
"HOW TUFF IS HE!?" Lucy shouted. Then she glared at Natsu who posed with Recoome and Lisanna did the same to Elfman.
"I couldn't help it," Both chuckled nervously.
"There has to be a limit to how durable you can be," Makarov said.
BURTER: He's setting up for the Recoome Eraser Gun!
JEICE: This is vintage Recoome right here!
RECOOME: Recooooome... Eraserrrrr... (puts both his hands above his head)
(Vegeta is seen panting, too exhausted it move)
Wendy covered her eyes. Everyone braced for the worst.
BURTER: This could be the end!
RECOOME: GUUUN! (fires an energy blast, but gets nailed in the back of the neck by Krillin) Oomph!
GOHAN: Vegeta! (grabs Vegeta and avoids the blast, causing it to collide with a mountain, obliterating it)
"GOHAN AND KRILLIN TO THE RESCUE!"
JEICE: Oh, last-second interference from Team Three Star!
"So, the name's official now?" Evergreen raised her eyebrow.
VEGETA: (to Gohan after being rescued by him) You idiot! I'm already one foot in the grave! You should have attacked Recoome!
"Because Gohan's too good to let someone die," Mira said, in obvious distress.
KRILLIN: Come on, Vegeta. We couldn't lose one of our most valuable Team Three Star members. You carry the stable!
"That's not important right now Krillin," Erza stressed.
"And I thought Gohan would, because he's Goku's son?" Lisanna wondered.
VEGETA: If there is any solace to all of this, it's that you will die along with me...
"At least you found something," Gajeel shook his head.
RECOOME: (his mouth is all messed up from Krillin's earlier attack) Could Recoome get a mirror? He feels like he might have chipped a tooth.
"He's even more ugly than before," Evergreen cringed.
"Didn't think it was possible," Bickslow gagged.
KRILLIN: (off-screen) Dear God, what happened to your face?!
"You happened," Gray said.
BURTER: According to the rules in reg, he's allowed to take on both of these new challengers!
RECOOME: Sounds good to Recoome! Recooooome...
KRILLIN: Does every move you have start with-
"SHUT UP AND MOVE!" Everyone shouted.
"AND YES IT DOES!" Levy decided to answer the question.
RECOOME: KICK!
(Recoome kicks Krillin in the face, sending him sprawling as he bounces on the ground)
(Krillin Owned Count: 12)
"And only Gohan is left," Levy frowned deeply.
"Please don't let anything bad happen," Mira hoped.
KRILLIN: (while getting knocked away) GAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhh...
GOHAN: (leaps over to Krillin) KRILLIN!
(shows a replay of Recoome kicking Krillin)
JEICE: Oh, and a devastating Recoome Kick there! Let's see that again, in slow motion! Brought to you by... Space XXXX. Space XXXX, because Space VB is piss!
"Not the time for an ad," Freed frowned.
"It was Krillin, so it's kinda fine," Gajeel reassures.
(replay is shown once again)
RECOOME: Recooooome...
KRILLIN: Does every move you have start with-
(slow motion of Recoome kicking Krillin in the face)
RECOOME: (in slow motion) KICK!
(Krillin is shown getting knocked away at regular speed)
KRILLIN: GAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhh...
"That's true wrestling fashion," Elfman winced.
"Watching Krillin get his shit kicked in?" Bickslow asked/
"The replaying brutal hits part," Elfman explained.
JEICE: What a ripper!
(cuts to Gohan checking on Krillin, who's immobilized by Recoome's attack)
GOHAN: Krillin!
KRILLIN: (in a higher pitched voice) Hello, Gohan, have you done your homework? 'Cause if you don't, Chi-Chi will KICK my ass…
"I think his homework is the least of the worries right now," Lucy sweatdropped.
"He's delirious now," Juvia shivered.
"As if his brain wasn't always somewhere else," Gray leaned back a bit.
GOHAN: A... Are you okay?
KRILLIN: (in a higher pitched voice) Yeah. Seems he threw my nervous system out of whack there... Can't quite feel the pain... (short pause) There it is... Owwww...
"I wish I could heal him," Wendy clutched Carla to her chest.
"Hate that feeling," Natsu scratched his own chest.
(cuts to Guru's house)
GURU: Naaaaaail! Our visitors from Earth require your assistance. You must go help them.
NAIL: Lord Guru, that would leave you totally unguarded.
GURU: No, I would have Dende...
DENDE: Please don't leave me alone with him.
"Nail is alone with him everyday," Happy said.
"And it's a surprise he's still sane," Lucy added.
GURU: He is the third strongest of our kind.
NAIL: Lord Guru, there are... only three of us left...
GURU: Dende, how does it feel to be the bronze medal?
DENDE: Like everyone I know and love is dead.
"Can't blame him for feeling this way," Levy said.
GURU: (monotone singing) Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper.
"He's a fat old man child," Lucy reiterated.
(brief pause)
NAIL: Lord Guru...
GURU: WHY ARE YOU STILL HEEEEEE…
"To make sure you don't die," Romeo laughed a bit.
(cuts back to "NAMEKIMANIA 2011" showing a replay of Recoome knocking out Krillin with a Recoome Kick)
"They kept showing it?" Lisanna was confused.
"That is good entertainment," Laxus shrugged his shoulders.
JEICE: And welcome back to the fight, ladies and gents!
BURTER: Last we left, we had two new contenders!
JEICE: We now have one!
GOHAN: I'm not going to back down. I might be younger than you, smaller than you, weaker than you, and much less experienced, but I learned more about peach farming than you... (realizing his mistake) I think this was a horrible decision…
"You need to run," Mira advised.
"Running was never an option in this situation," Erza said, in a worried tone.
"You want him to die?" Mira questioned.
"I want him to live, but there's no chance running would help," Erza told her.
RECOOME: Recoome agrees. (proceeds to beat up Gohan)
"He's a kid, why do people in this show not hold back against children!?" Mira's rage increased.
"Because there are just sick people out there," Laxus sighed.
JEICE: This fight's turning into a regular piss-kicker!
BURTER: Poor kid doesn't stand a chance!
JEICE: How old is he? Like, five?
BURTER: Six, five-and-a-half?
"Does it matter!? He's a child!" Makarov tightened his fist around his staff.
JEICE: But the real question is... What do the fans think?
(the audience cheers loudly)
"Sadly, there are people who enjoy watching child violence," Freed looked appalled.
GOHAN: (struggling to get up) You...you talk about who you are all the time. "Recoome" this, "Recoome" that. But... you are nothing... compared to my dad. (slowly walking up to Recoome)
"Show your guts Gohan!" Natsu encouraged through the screen.
"Make a comeback!" Romeo added.
GOHAN: I... am the son of Son Goku. The man who will come... and kick your... (starts charging at Reccome, with tears coming out of his eyes, only to get his neck snapped by swift kick from Recoome and falls limply to the ground)
Pure silence takes over the guild as everyone had watched the 5-year old get his neck broken.
JEICE: My God... (the audience starts cheering)
BURTER: That was incredible! This seems like the end, folks. Recoome looks like he's got this one in the bag!
(Recoome walks up to a nearly-dead Gohan and chuckles. Camera shows Krillin's knocked out body and then pans over Vegeta, who's too damaged to move.)
JEICE: It doesn't look like there's anyone left who can stop Recoome! (notices Goku's ship flying in from the sky) Wait... Who's that?
(Goku's spaceship lands in the distance, causing a massive explosion. Camera cuts inside to Goku getting up from his seat, walking around and tying a bag of Senzu Beans on his belt, and standing in front of an opening door, all while Rick Derringer's "Real American" song plays in the background)
"FINALLY!" The guild shouts.
["TOKUSENTAI!" ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(cuts to Captain Ginyu doing the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance)
CAPTAIN GINYU: All done.
FRIEZA: All right, so... you're done with all your dances?
"Probably not," Levy answered.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Yes, sir!
"Oh," She was surprised.
FRIEZA: We can wish for my immortality now?
CAPTAIN GINYU: Of course!
FRIEZA: Fantastic. Now, Dragon Balls, grant my wish! Make me, Lord Frieza, immortal! (Frieza waits but nothing happens)
"You have to summon the dragon first," Levy spoke.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Umm... I don't think it worked.
FRIEZA: But... But why not? Those Village Elders explicitly told me there were only seven balls that I needed merely to bring them together to grant my wish! So, what the hell!?
CAPTAIN GINYU: Perhaps there's a password.
"Yes, there is," Levy agreed.
FRIEZA: A password? But... I... killed them all... There's no one left to tell me! I've lost my wish!
"Screwed himself over," Gajeel laughed.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Might I suggest the "Dance of Cheering You Up"?
"Knew it!" Levy pumped her fist.
FRIEZA: Ugh... Proceed...
(shows a picture of Australia (or in Jecie's case, Brisbane))
JEICE: Good day! Jeice of the Ginyu Force here with a public service announcement. We've got no worries up in Space Brisbane right now, but your Brisbane's been hit hard by floods. So, if you want to donate to the relief effort, follow the link in the description to the Queensland's Government website. Cheers, mates; every donation would be appreciated!
Nobody really had anything to say about this.
Chapter End