Chapter 36: The Saiyan Formerly Known as Prince
(cuts to an an outside shot of Frieza's ship and then shifts to the inside where Goku is still seen recovering in the healing tank)
GOKU: (thinking while inside the tank) You put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both up
You put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both up...
"He's singing while his friends are dying?" Evergreen's eyebrow raised in disbelief.
"Not much else he can do," Bickslow told her.
KING KAI: (telepathically) Goku, come in!
GOKU: (telepathically) Oh, hey, King Kai!
(shifts to King Kai's planet)
KING KAI: Your friends are in trouble, Goku. (telepathically) Are you healed yet?
"I wish he was," Wendy frowned.
GOKU: Uh... Nah, I don't think so.
KING KAI: Well, how long do you think it's gonna take?
GOKU: Well, I think the machine will tell me when I'm done.
"You mean you're unsure?" Levy's eyebrow rose in question.
KING KAI: Okay, you think or you know?
GOKU: (after a brief pause) You put the lime in the coconut and...
"And he's completely unsure," Levy sweatdropped.
KING KAI: Goku!
GOKU: Aw, come on, King Kai, they don't need my help. I bet they're doing just fine on their own.
"You wanna bet?" Gajeel snarked.
(shifts to planet Namek)
VEGETA: Healer's down!
KRILLIN: Need a rez!
GOHAN: Out of mana!
VEGETA: AAAAAAAH!
KRILLIN: AAAAAAAH!
GOHAN: AAAAAAAH!
"Yeah...they're not looking too good," Lucy said, nervously.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
FRIEZA: It's been so long since I've had to use this form. It feels like an old suit I never have an occasion to wear. (disappears and then reappears behind the group) Unfortunately, whenever I put it on... (looks over to Dende's corpse) ...someone dies.
"Did he get more sadistic?" Lisanna asked.
"I think this form brings out the worst of him," Levy explained.
"And by worst she means best," Gajeel re-explained.
GOHAN: Dende... no!
FRIEZA: Oh, don't cry for the poor thing. I've saved him the fate of seeing what I'm about to do to you.
"Quick deaths are kind of a mercy," Laxus said, gravely.
VEGETA: Joke's on you; he hated the bald one.
KRILLIN: Hey, that's not fair! (looks at Piccolo) He just met Piccolo!
"Wrong bald guy," Lily sweatdropped.
(Frieza shoots a Death Beam aimed directly at Gohan, who just stands there paralyzed in shock)
"MOVE GOHAN!" The mages shouted.
VEGETA: Get down!
(Vegeta rushes in and pushes Gohan onto the ground, evading the Death Beam. The attack then hits an island in the distance, obliterating it in a flash of light.)
"WHAT THE HELL!?" The mages were shocked. There's usually a warning(Like shouting the name of the attack) before the attack happens.
"If you blinked even for just a second, you would've missed the attack," Erza spoke with visible distress.
"If Vegeta was millisecond late…" Mira shivered.
KRILLIN: I couldn't even follow that attack...! It was almost instantaneous!
VEGETA: Yep. Just gonna stand here and keep bein' awesome.
"And he only did it to stroke his own ego…" Carla sighed.
"Sounds about right," Gajeel sweatdropped.
PICCOLO: There's nothing we can do against that kind of power!
VEGETA: Uh, hello? Awesome, right here.
"Yes, we see you," Freed rolled his eyes.
GOHAN: We're all gonna die!
VEGETA: You know what? All of you better duck, because I'm about to turn left, and I don't wanna smack you with my dick.
"Ew!" The girls were disgusted.
"Taking that too," Gajeel smirked.
FRIEZA: Oh, look at you, Vegeta. You're really going to fight me. Well, not- not really "fight", more like, "flailing angrily".
"Sounds like how Natsu fights," Gray remarked.
"SAY THAT AGAIN ICE-BOY!"
"YOU HEARD ME FLAME-NUTS!"
"QUIET!" Erza slammed them both into the ground.
VEGETA: Make your jokes while you can, Frieza. Because I can now see the peak of your power, while I'm only beginning to tap into mine…
"Is he repeating himself?" Juvia wondered.
FRIEZA: I feel like we've been here before. Have we been here before?
VEGETA: You see, I have finally realized the legend…
"Oh, my god, he's repeating himself," Freed facepalmed.
FRIEZA: Oh, my God, this IS happening again!
VEGETA: That's right, you're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore, Frieza... I, Vegeta, have finally become... the legendary Super Saiyan!
"You don't look very 'super'," Carla noted.
"Good thing the planet is empty, so it can fit Vegeta's entire ego," Evergreen rolled her eyes.
"I cannot believe someone can be THIS full of themselves, and we've met a lot of arrogant people," Erza crossed her arms.
FRIEZA: Okay, seriously, first off, "Super Saiyan". What is that? What even is that?
"I have a pretty good idea," Levy mused.
"You wanna share with the class, squirt?" Gajeel asked her.
"Nope," She smiled sweetly.
FRIEZA: I'll tell you what it is, it's just some stupid legend passed by your filthy monkey ancestors around a campfire like it was their own dung. Let me tell you, Vegeta, I don't deal in legends, I deal in facts. And here's a fact: by the end of this, you are going to be crying, like a little... bitch.
"Gonna need a Dende to heal that one," Macao whistled
"They used to have a Dende," Romeo frowned.
(Short pause...)
VEGETA: Bitch, you just jealous of my Super Saiyan swagger.
FRIEZA: Oh, for f**k's sake.
Everyone laughed.
(Vegeta dashes at Frieza and tries to attack him, but Frieza disappears and avoids the attack. Frieza then reappears in front of a rock and dodges another attack from Vegeta. Vegeta then goes on the offensive and starts attacking Frieza rapidly, causing the latter to go on the defensive.)
"He's just attacking widely without a plan," Makarov shook his head in disapproval.
"So he's Natsu," Everyone said, rather than ask.
"I have plans!" The fire dragon slayer defended himself.
"Attacking headfirst is not a plan!" Lucy swatted him in the back of the head.
VEGETA: (thinking) Yes! I have him on the ropes! All he can do is dodge me!
"Are...are we watching the same fight?" Levy asked.
FRIEZA: (thinking) God, Zarbon's dead, Dodoria's dead, the Ginyus are dead... This has been one giant mess. It's just like that jockstrap incident only now I don't have Ginyu around to dig the holes.
"And Frieza's not even thinking about him," Laxus scoffed.
"Really shows you who is actually on the ropes," Lily said.
VEGETA: AAAAAAA... (tries to perform a double axe handle on Frieza, but he disappears again) Huh? Wha...?
FRIEZA: (is seen on an island) This may be a little off-topic, but how good are you at digging holes?
"Pretty good, when you take a look at everything he's done in this arc," Levy said.
VEGETA: What the...
FRIEZA: I mean, besides the one you've already dug yourself into.
VEGETA: Rrgh... Don't you mock me! (charges up energy)
"He has every right to mock you," Erza didn't look pleased.
FRIEZA:: Oh?
VEGETA: YAAAH!
(Vegeta fires an energy blast at the island but Frieza leaps away and flies off in the sky. Vegeta proceeds to fire a Super Energy Wave Volley after the tyrant.)
VEGETA: (while firing each blast) Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
KRILLIN: I don't get it, why can't Vegeta hit him?
"Because he's just attacking like a wild animal," Freed criticized
"Really embracing his inner Natsu," Gray joked. Natsu tried to charge at him, but was held back by Erza's strong glare.
(Vegeta is seen blasting while saying "Daka, daka, daka!")
PICCOLO: Because he keeps aiming where he is instead of where he's going to be!
(Frieza appears in front of Piccolo, Krillin, and Gohan)
"Crapbaskets!" Everyone cursed.
GOHAN: Ahh!
PICCOLO: (thinking) Oh, crap.
KRILLIN: So, does this mean we should...?
"YES!" The guild screamed.
PICCOLO: DODGE! (grabs Gohan and Krillin and flies out of the way)
"He made sure to grab Gohan, because...well you guys know," Levy trailed off, seeing everyone was more focused on the "fight."
VEGETA: Daka, daka, daka, daka, daka! (Frieza appears in front of Vegeta) Aah!
FRIEZA: So, are we done playing children's games, Vegeta, or do I have to tickle you? (wags his tail in front of Vegeta's face) Eh, eh? Kitchy-koo. Kitchy-kitchy-kitchy-koo.
"This fight is essentially dealing with an angry toddler," Makarov compared.
"So Laxus then," Natsu managed to say something clever(Reference to Laxus' behavior in Battle of Fairy Tail arc). Natsu felt a chill up his spine courtesy of Laxus' glare.
VEGETA: (starts stammering in anger) Stop it or I'm gonna blow you up! (flies up and starts powering up) We'll see how you stand up... to everything I've got! Take... my Super Saiyan WRATH! (fires his ultimate technique, the Final Burst Cannon, at Frieza)
"Doesn't really sound that cool," Romeo's thumb pointed down.
"Even I admit that it doesn't sound that cool," Wendy shook her head.
FREEZA: (thinking) Oh, and I should probably send the Ginyus' families something... Perhaps some wine, a gift basket. (kicks Vegeta's Final Burst Cannon into outer space) Or maybe gift baskets with wine.
"I could live with that," Canna said, ignoring the tension in the room.
VEGETA: (falters and starts trembling) Wh-What? How... How is that...? Gah...
"And the prince realizes that the world doesn't revolve around him," Gajeel said, uncaringly.
"We've all been through that revelation at some point," Gray said.
FRIEZA: See, it's like I told you, Vegeta. Like a bitch.
VEGETA: (voice cracking down, trying to hold back tears) Shut up!
FRIEZA: Oh, my God, you actually are crying! (shows Vegeta actually crying like a little bitch)
VEGETA: (hoarsely) I'm not crying! I'm not...!
"I really wanna feel bad for him," Wendy lowered her head.
"Don't," Both Gajeel and Laxus answered. Wendy looked at them confused.
"It's a waste of time and energy to feel bad for idiots," Laxus explained.
FRIEZA: Honestly, now I just feel bad. Usually, I just blow up whatever's in my way, but with you I've gotten kind of attached. It's sort of like putting down an old Space yeller.
"Why is that a thing?" Carla wondered.
KRILLIN: (off-screen) How is that a thing?
FRIEZA: It's sad, really. But before we part ways, Vegeta, let me tell you a tale. (swats Vegeta with his tail)
VEGETA: Ahhh!
FRIEZA: The end.
"I'm a fan of short stories," Gajeel shrugged.
"I know you are," Levy snuggled closer to him.
(Vegeta flies straight into the water. Frieza lands on a rock and pushes the water away with telekinesis. Vegeta is seen on the ground, with a Namekian crab walking on his back.)
FRIEZA: See that, Vegeta? Now for my next trick: I'm going to make an asshole disappear. (begins walking up to Vegeta)
"You could phrase that one better, especially with your positions," Juvia blushed, imagining Gray holding her in the same way.
ORPHEUS: Wagwan, brethren Vegeta? Me be a spirit animal. And me here tell you how to mash up that bumbaclot Frieza. All ya gotta do is... (Frieza eats half his body) Aaah! (Frieza eats the rest of him) Aaah!
"But, I wanted to know!" Lisanna cried.
FRiEZA: *gulp* Hey, Vegeta.
VEGETA: Wha-What? (Frieza punches him in the back) Ahhh!
FRiEZA: Stop hitting yourself.
(Frieza punches Vegeta again)
VEGETA: Ugh!
FRIEZA: Stop hitting yourself.
(Frieza punches Vegeta again)
VEGETA: Augh!
FRIEZA: Stop hitting yourself.
(Frieza punches Vegeta again)
"But, you're the one hitting him!" Wendy cried out.
VEGETA: Ah-hagh!
(Frieza drops Vegeta onto the ground)
VEGETA: (muffled) You're the one hitting me!
FRIEZA: Au contraire, Vegeta, you brought this upon yourself.
"Geez that was a good one," Gray couldn't help but compliment. Usually you don't want to compliment the bad guy.
(Frieza kicks Vegeta twice, sending him into the sky with the second kick, and then elbows him in the stomach before striking him toward the ground with his tail, who falls down in front of Piccolo, Gohan, and Krillin.)
KRILLIN: (looks at Vegeta's beaten body) Should... we... help... him? (Frieza appears in front of everyone, shocking them)
"For the safety of your own personal beings, this time DO NOT help," Mira stressed.
FRIEZA: Oh, go ahead. Pool's open; the water's fine. (everyone is terrified and does not move)
"Don't think I'd be able to move either," Lucy shivered.
FRIEZA: Hmm, no? Just going to stand there like a bunch of piss-ants? Thought so. (starts grabbing Vegeta with his tail) Now, where were we? Oh, right, I believe it was... kidney punch. (repeatedly punches Vegeta in the back) Kidney punch, kidney punch, kidney punch, and pause... kidney punch.
Everyone even if they were reluctant to, started to feel bad for the fallen prince.
(cuts to Goku inside the healing tank)
GOKU: (thinking) Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Life is but a dream
Row, row, row your boat... (continues singing refrain)
Natsu, Happy, and Lucy join the singing.
KING KAI: Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Wendy, Romeo, Gray, and Juvia join the singing
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Life is but a dream
Row, row, row your boat... (continues singing refrain)
The Strauss siblings join the singing.
TIEN: Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Canna, Macao, and Wakaba drunkenly sing along.
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Life is but a dream
Row, row, row your boat...
YAMCHA/Gajeel: *gasps*
(a beeping noise is heard)
GOKU: Pod's done! (destroys the healing tank and flies out of Frieza's ship)
Gajeel starts to silently fume at losing his chance to sing. Levy pats him on the back with a sweatdrop.
(Cuts to Vegeta getting thrown into a cliff and knocked down onto the ground. Frieza is seen walking up to Vegeta's now incapacitated body.)
FRIEZA: It seems our game is over, Vegeta. (grabs Vegeta by the armor) Now that we're done here, it's time to send you crying home to mommy.
"Isn't his mother dead?" Happy asked.
"Yeah," Lucy pulled Happy into a hug.
VEGETA: (with tears flowing in his eye) My mother's dead..
FRIEZA: I know. HYEEEAAAAAA... (prepares to deliver the finishing blow to Vegeta but Goku arrives just in the nick of time, much to the surprise of everyone)
"And the hero is late as ever," Levy smiled.
"YEAH GOKU!" Natsu screamed.
FRIEZA: Who...?
GOKU: Hey guys, how's it going? Piccolo, when did you come back?
"It's as if the tension in any situation just defuses when he appears," Carla was baffled by Goku's ability.
"Kinda like Natsu huh?" Lucy smiled. The dragon slayer responded with a grin of his own.
PICCOLO: Uh, Dragon Balls.
GOKU: Oh, neat. Hey, Krillin. That armor looks funny on you.
GOHAN: Hey, Dad!
GOKU: Hey.
Erza facepalmed here.
GOKU: (to FrIeza) So, are you that "Freezer" guy?
FRIEZA: (hesitantly) I am Lord Frieza, yes.
GOKU: (cheerfully) Awesome! I'mma deck you in the schnozz!
(Frieza stares blankly for a second, then drops Vegeta)
"Goku actually did it," Levy started to laugh. Soon everyone started laughing along with her.
"Goku actually surprised the galactic warlord," Laxus barked loudly.
VEGETA: Ow...
FRIEZA: I'm sorry, that's a new one. Uh, who are you, exactly?
GOKU: I'm Goku... I'm insane... from Earth.
"He means "Saiyan," Erza corrected.
(Freeza gives off a blank stare)
VEGETA: (weakly) He means "Saiyan".
"Neither one of those are incorrect tho," Lucy replied, trying to hold in her laughter.
FRIEZA: Ugh, between you and the Namekian I think I've lost my touch at genocide.
GOKU: What's wrong, Vegeta? Did Freezer do this to you?
"Who else could've?" Gray asked.
FRIEZA: Oh look, he's all concerned. I'm impressed, Vegeta; you managed to make a friend.
VEGETA: (weakly) Hate you. Hate you both.
"I can relate to that feeling," Gajeel looks directly at Natsu.
FRIEZA: Unfortunately, Vegeta and I were having a disagreement. He wanted himself to live, and, well... I didn't.
GOKU: (confused) Why do you want to die?
The guild bursts into laughter.
FRIEZA: What-? No, I... I-I mea- I meant I want him to die.
GOKU: Is it 'cause you look weird?
FRIEZA: (eyes widen) ...WHAT?
The laughter within the guild got so loud, that the people in Magnolia were highly confused at the noise.
"It's slightly racist tho," Levy choked out between fits of laughter.
GOKU: Well, you know, you got that big head, those weird lips, and that tail... (Frieza gets angry and fires a beam at Goku. Goku swats the blast away.) ...and you don't have ears...
FRIEZA: Okay, no. (Frieza shoots multiple beams that Goku swats away effortlessly. The last beam Goku defects hits the ground covering him in smoke.)
GOKU: ...and to top it all off, you're really kind of a jerk.
"He really is a jerk," Natsu said, remembering all of the death Frieza caused.
FRIEZA: (shocked) And apparently, this is now happening. Vegeta! Explain!
(Vegeta laugh weakly on the ground)
FRIEZA: What are you...?
VEGETA: (weakly) You see, Frieza, you aren't dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore…
"He takes solace in the fact that those words piss Frieza off immensely," Bickslow laughed.
FRIEZA: (getting angrier with each word) OH, MY GOD.
VEGETA: (weakly) He has risen above and become a legend... the legend that you fear... He has become... a Super Sai- (Frieza blasts him in the chest with a Death Beam. Vegeta gasps, then collapses.)
"Expected it, but holy shit," Gajeel spoke. The entire guild also recoiled a bit.
GOKU: *gasps* Vegeta!
FRIEZA: No, seriously, you have no idea how old that got.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
VEGETA: Laugh while you can, Frieza. Because I'm about to rock you... like a hurricane.
"And the song puns continue in great ernast," Levy said.
("Rock You Like A Hurricane" by Scorpion plays as Vegeta levitates a rock and punches it at Frieza. Frieza easily breaks the rock.)
VEGETA: Huh. I should've known that was only a one-hit wonder.
"Kinda like how that's the hit you get on him," Gajeel quipped.
Chapter End